Another Second Chance
by Kelby
Summary: Post RENT! Chap. 109 as of 1-19-04 COMPLETED! Many thanks to all that have read. Please be sure to read Author's Note at end. REVIEWS STILL ROCK MY WORLD!
1. Default Chapter

CHAPTER ONE  
  
"Uh huh. Yeah, we can do that, or something similar. It may cost more in both money and time, but it will get your point across." Mark said into the phone as he scribbled notes on a yellow legal pad. He could hear Roger picking at the strings on his guitar out in the living room. Play a little, tune a little, play a little tune a little. At this point it had been going on for so long, Mark hardly noticed it. It was like background sound, like an air conditioner running or the hum of a refrigerator. Upon a very seldom occasion he would hear something new. Something the band Roger was in may have just started to practice. But that was rare. It seemed like Roger went to practice, learned what he needed, did what he had to do, played at their jobs and came home. That was it. He didn't write anything anymore. He didn't really even play anything anymore. Just pick a little, tune a little. There was no passion in it like there had once been. Now it was more like just something to do with his hands. Something to fill up the time. Something to just do. At least he was doing something. And even occasionally going out. Even if it was only to practice, band jobs and work.  
  
"Yeah, shooting it that way will give it that grainy effect. In this case it may really work for what you want."  
  
Pick a little, tune a little.  
  
"Well we can do some test shots of that - see how you like it better."  
  
Pick a little, tune a little.  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
Pick a little, tune a little.  
  
He had been hearing it for so many months now he really didn't even hear the guitar. It was the other sound that caught his attention. Barely audible through the closed bedroom door.  
  
There it was again. Knocking. This time louder. Whoever it was was trying to be heard over the guitar. Mark slid the door open. Roger was still sitting on the couch, either oblivious or ignoring the front door.  
  
"Tony, hold on for one second would you?" Mark said as he punched the mute button on the phone. "Roger, get the door."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The door, somebody's been banging on it for like five minutes!"  
  
"And they haven't figured out they should give up and go away yet?"  
  
"Just get the door would you please? I'm right in the middle of this. I finally get someone who wants to pay me to do something and you pick now to be difficult? Just answer it. Please." Half talking to Roger and half to himself as he closed the bedroom door and went back to his call.  
  
Roger set the guitar down on the milk crate coffee table as he got up to answer the still being knocked on door. "What?" He basically yelled as he flung open the door.  
  
For the briefest of moments he felt bad for yelling when he saw the girl at the door. Her right arm in a sling and a cast that ran from her elbow down to the three splints on her last three fingers. You could tell by the way she stood, she was quite uncomfortable and even thought she was in the somewhat darkened hallway, she still had on a baseball cap pulled low on her face almost touching the large sunglasses she was still wearing. But even with them, you could still see the purple, blue and green tints in her skin and the slight swelling that had settled on the one side of her face.  
  
"Well, what do you want?" A little gruffer than he meant, considering the condition she was in, but when she didn't even flinch at him yelling and all, the flicker of concern and empathy died out.  
  
"I'm looking for Mark Cohen." She replied in an overly calm steady voice.  
  
"Well he's busy. What do you want him for?"  
  
"I need to speak to him about a place to stay."  
  
Without bothering to reply Roger walked over to the room Mark had turned into an office for himself, opened the door and said, "It's some girl, here about the apartment."  
  
"Hold on a second Tony while I grab something." Mark said, hitting the mute button. "Well just tell her about it, give her the form and show her the place if she wants to see it."  
  
"Forget it. You made the deal with Benny, you deal with all that crap."  
  
"Fine. Whatever. I'll take care of it. Just let me finish this first. Tell her to sit down and I'll be out in like tem minutes." He closed the door.  
  
Roger walked back over by the couch, looked at the girl in the open doorway and picked up his guitar. Without really looking at her he spoke. "Mark said he'd be done in ten minutes so you might as well sit down."  
  
She shifted her backpack on her good shoulder, picked up the small leather computer case, closed the door behind her and walked over to the large armchair. It didn't match the couch, and had duct tape over the arms. She picked up a section of a newspaper off the chair, dropped her backpack and case on the floor and very slowly and carefully lowered herself into the chair.  
  
Roger had started picking at the guitar again. He wasn't really paying attention, but he thought he saw this pained expression run across her face as she sat down. She started to fan herself with the newspaper. Roger remembered about the air conditioner and walked over to it. It was old and froze up often, but someone had given it to them and it was better than nothing in the end of summer heat.  
  
The AC had thawed out yet again and he turned it on. The light in the kitchen dimmed a little, but that was all. They had all been told they shouldn't have any more problems with the power blowing, but the entire building was still sort of skeptical.  
  
Roger walked back over to the couch and started back up with his guitar. As the cool air started to blow out the girl unbuttoned the long sleeve denim shirt she was wearing over her white tee shirt. With a little work, she slid her good arm out of the long sleeve shirt. She was sitting in the chair in an almost unnatural and overly straight way, fanning herself with the newspaper and letting the cool AC air blow on her.  
  
After a few minutes, she put the shirt the rest of the way back on. She took off her sunglasses and had just started to clean them. Rubbing the tail of her shirt on her glasses to the rhythm of Roger's guitar being picked and then tuned.  
  
Suddenly the door flies open and out comes Mark, caring papers and talking before he even stepped out of the small make shift office. "Sorry, I was right in the middle of a meeting. Okay, the only apartment open right now is on the second floor, two bedrooms and wow!" He said as he looked up and saw her face a she tried to tilt her head down and cover her eye and cheekbone with her good hand and glasses.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I mean I shouldn't have, um I'm sorry. Let me just keep telling you about the apartment. Two bedrooms, one bath, roommates are okay, no pets, heat and hot water are included, though there never seems to be a whole lot of either, and the rent is $1250. I can show it to you if it sounds like something you are interested in."  
  
She had lowered her hand and was just staring at him for a second. "Well I guess I look worst than I though if you don't even recognize me Marky. I was really hoping to just crash here with you for a little bit till I get all my crap together and all."  
  
" Oh my God Cass is that really you? What happened to you? What are you doing here? Are you okay?"  
  
With that the guitar playing stopped for a moment and Roger looked up and took in the full destruction that had occurred to the one side of this girl's face. Her left eye may have been swelled shut, but it had started to recede some. But the color of it was a hideous purple black. Her cheek bone and jaw was a greenish color by her hair line, but the color got darker and the swelling got larger as you moved toward the center of her face. She had been gently rotating the wrist on her "good" hand, and with this you could see the black bruised band that went all the way around it.  
  
"Oh yes, it's me, in all my grace and glory. I sort of had a little accident while I was working in Italy. As for what I'm doing here, if you mean in New York, I took a cab from the hospital to the airport and booked the first flight I could to America and surprise, surprise it went to New York.  
  
"If you mean here at your place Marky, I'm looking for a shower and a place to crash for a little bit. I wasn't really up for the complete solitude of a hotel room, and seeing as how you are one of my dearest friends in New York, not to mention just about the only one in New York, I thought of you. So how about it, can I stay? Please? I've got jet lag and really haven't slept in the last three days anyway. Plus I've got two cracked and one broken rib, so sitting isn't all that much fun, and I didn't really realize that until I was on the plane headed here so it wasn't exactly the best of flights.  
  
"Of course you can stay. You can go lay down right now if you want. We kinda converted the third bedroom into an office, but you can sleep in my bed for now. Here let me get your bags for you. Is this all your stuff?"  
  
"Sort of. There was no way I could carry anything, so I just shoved it into a locker at JFK. I'll get it later."  
  
"Wow, but are you okay? Really?  
  
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I guess. I mean I guess I could have been killed, so I guess you have to call me 'lucky.' I'll survive. I can't change what already happened, so I guess I have to deal with it."  
  
"Wow. Here, let me help you up. Of course you can stay. For as long as you need. It's only me and Roger here now." Regretting the way he said it as the words left his mouth, Mark's eyes went to the ground, but not before seeing Roger's head turn away and star at the floor as well.  
  
"This being of course Roger, but I'm sure you already knew that. Well, Roger Davis, meet the infamous and most amazing Cass Sullivan. You two finally meet at last! I just with it had been under better circumstances. I've only been talking about you to each other for years now." He got a small grin.  
  
" I would have preferred a different venue for finally meeting the legendary and infamous Roger Davis, but, deal with what you get I guess. But, it is kind of nice to finally meet you. You know, face with a legend, name with a face sort of thing."  
  
"Yeah right. Whatever." Roger mumbled and looked back down to his guitar.  
  
"Oh come on." Mark helped Cass to her feet and grabbing her bags. "Just ignore Roger." He said as he rolled his eyes. "He's not having the best of, well, decades I guess. But here's my room and the bathroom is over there. Take a shower, take a nap, whatever. You look dead on your feet. I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Okay. Thanks Marky. I knew I could count on you. I so desperately need sleep right now. Thanks." She turned to go into the bedroom but stopped and looked back at him. "Oh, um, your not going anywhere or anything are you? I mean your going to be here right?"  
  
"Oh yeah, either me or Roger or both. I don't have any plans except to go and get some food later, and Roger, well, he doesn't have anything scheduled either. So yeah, we'll be here."  
  
"Okay, just checking is all. Thanks Mark. You're the best." She kissed him on the cheek and went to lie down.  
  
Mark watched her close the door before walking back over the living room. "Wow! I can't believe she is actually here! Actually I can't believe how bad she looks. I hope she is actually okay." He said as he flopped into the armchair.  
  
"Yeah, she looked pretty bad I guess. Who is she anyway?"  
  
"What do you mean 'who is she'? You know, Cass. The one that's been writing to me for years now. Like actual letters. Big, swoopy, girly handwriting. You know."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Okay, well I've got to get some more work done on this thing. What time did they say they were coming to get us for dinner?"  
  
"I don't know. I wasn't listening. I'm not going anyway."  
  
"Yeah right. Okay. Whatever. I'm going back in the other room. Call me when they get here." With that he went back into his office. He could hear Roger start playing with the tuning on the guitar again.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Mark, I said they're here." Roger yelled as he opened the door.  
  
"Okay, okay. I hear you. Will you stop yelling. You're going to wake Cass up."  
  
"Wake who up?" Collins asked as he, Jason and Jen walked into the loft.  
  
"Okay, you'll at least appreciate this. Remember my friend Cass? The one from LA. Sends me letters and stuff. Well she's here. She showed up this afternoon."  
  
"I guess I don't remember her." Collins said.  
  
"Oh come on. I've told you guys about her a million times. You know. Beautiful. Smart. Really amazing. She speaks like fluent French, Italian, and Spanish. You remember, right?"  
  
"Sorry Mark, I don't remember you mentioning her." Jason said looking to Collins with a shrug.  
  
"Oh come on! Doesn't anyone listen to anything I say ever? I just got a letter from her like six or seven weeks ago. Remember? I said how she was in Italy? On work?"  
  
All three of them just sort of gave him a blank stare.  
  
Mark was getting upset at this point. "Why do I even bother talking at all sometimes! I swear! Okay. I met her at Brown. Okay? You all do remember at one time I did go to Brown right? Okay, so this was before school really started, during the summer session, so it was before I met Collins and Benny. So anyway, I got there in June, right after graduation and took a couple of summer session classes. Well, so did Cass and that's were I met her. And I've been talking to her and writing to her all these years since. And I know I've told you all about her before!"  
  
"What's her name again?" Jason asked.  
  
"It's Cass. She sent me that big thing of chocolate from Switzerland for Hanukah like two years ago. Remember?"  
  
"Oh, really big gold box, with all the liquor filled chocolates?" Collins asked.  
  
"Yes! You should remember those, you ate enough of them!"  
  
"Yeah I remember those, they were great. But I don't remember about her."  
  
"Wonderful. Okay, remember the big case of that super dark German beer? She sent it for my birthday?"  
  
"Oh I had some of the last of that beer with you. It was incredible. I thought you got it here in the city." Jason said.  
  
"Great! Eat my candy, drink my beer. Roger and Collins have even smoked my Cuban cigars she smuggled in the country for me." He said loudly to make sure Roger heard him. "Not to mention my Russian vodka, real Japanese Sake and the expensive French wine she sent me for my parents anniversary, which," he directed in Roger's direction, "I was told went really well with the cheetoes and twinkies and ice cream when someone and half their band decided to smoke like three dime bags and then got the munchies!  
  
"Amazing! Everyone hears me say 'oh look, someone sent me alcohol, chocolate or cigars,' but God forbid you hear anything else I say!"  
  
"Um, yeah, I think I remember you mentioning her now that you remind me about it." Jen added in trying to help.  
  
"Right, sure you do Jen. Nice try. This is unreal!" He was almost yelling at that point. "Okay fine, try this. I know Roger and Collins know this. Jason's even heard this! Remember I told you about how I met this amazing girl during the summer session and had the most amazing sex of my life like every day for almost three solid months!"  
  
With that the guitar playing stopped. Everyone was looking at Mark. Almost staring at him. No one said anything for a moment then Roger broke the silence. "You mean that really actually happened?"  
  
" Yes that actually happened! What did you think, that I made that all up?"  
  
"Well, actually." Jason began to say.  
  
"What he meant was," Collins jumped in, "no we never actually thought you made it all up, just maybe stretched the truth a little about what really happened."  
  
"Yeah, that's right." Jason chimed in. " You know maybe exaggerated a little. I mean we all did when we were like 18 and all."  
  
"I can't believe this! What about you? What did you think?" Mark demanded of Roger.  
  
"Well, yeah I guess I thought you made it up. I mean, okay, I figured you probably had gotten laid and all that summer, but the rest of it was a little hard to believe. I mean come on Mark, I've known you forever and well the whole thing was, well, just not a 'Mark' type of thing. "I mean I know you went to school early so you didn't have to hang with your psycho family in Scaresdale all summer. I figured when I saw you later that fall, after like six months, you figured you needed some really good stories."  
  
This blew Mark away. More than that. He was furious. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.  
  
"So you mean to tell us," Collins started, "that all of that was completely true?"  
  
"Yes! That's what I've been trying to tell you!"  
  
"So that girl you've been talking about all these years, as the sexual highlight of your life really existed and is the same one sleeping in your bed right now?" Roger asked.  
  
"Yes. She's also the same one I've been writing to for years. And talking to for years. And telling you about for years! But no, all you remember is the sex part and you don't even believe it! I don't know which part I should be more upset about! The fact that you thought I made all that up, or the fact that all these years I've been talking about Cass and no one, especially Roger and Collins, my supposed best friends have never heard a word I've said!"  
  
"Sorry." Roger said with a shrug and then went back to picking the strings on his guitar.  
  
"Yeah, sorry Mark. But if it makes you feel any better, I have a new found respect for you." Jason said, smiling.  
  
"Wait, I guess I'm confused." Jen jumped in. "This was like the greatest romance of your life it's sounding like, but what happened? Why did it only last three months? And why hasn't anyone ever met her before?"  
  
"Well, that's because when the summer session was over, Cass left. She only planned on staying for the one session. She came up there for the summer and left when it was over. That was her plan the whole time and I knew that. And it wasn't exactly a 'romance' thing. I mean we became really great friends and all, but Cass also had this thing about how we weren't dating or anything, just sleeping together because she was leaving soon.  
  
"And as for no one meeting her before, she hasn't been to New York really since. However stupid me believed you all knew who she was."  
  
"So what's she doing here now?" Jen asked.  
  
"I don't know exactly. I mean I knew she was in Italy because she sent me a letter awhile ago telling me she was going there for work. All I know is she was in a car accident in Italy, and when they let her out of the hospital she hopped on a plane to America which ended up in New York. She came here and asked if she could stay for a few days. Said she wasn't up to a hotel room."  
  
The guitar playing not only stopped with Mark's last statement, but it's owner sat it down, got up and walked over to the group of friends. "What are you talking about? She wasn't in any car accident!"  
  
"She said she was in an accident. I guess I just assumed it was a car accident. Why, what did she tell you happened?"  
  
"She didn't tell me anything. I didn't even talk to her. But I know she wasn't in any car accident!" Roger said, almost defensively. "Not unless they started making Italian sports cars that are right handed! And I never saw any car accident leave any bruises all the way around someone's neck, or leave finger imprints on the back of someone's arms.  
  
"And I don't know what she was doing, but it takes an awful lot of pulling against something like a pair of handcuffs or something to get a giant black bruise bracelet that goes all the way around your wrist too." He said holding up one hand and circling it with the fingers of his other hand.  
  
"Not to mention I've had broken ribs and they hurt whether you're standing up, laying down or sitting. Especially sitting and trying to breathe. And you know that way before you go get on a plane. Trust me, no one just wants to sit on a plane for as long as it takes to fly from Italy to New York with broken ribs. Unless they really want to get away from somewhere. Or someone! And I'm betting on someone.  
  
"So no, she wasn't in any car accident. She got the crap beat out of her and probably worse. And what she's doing here is running or hiding. Maybe both." Roger hadn't realized he had gotten so defensive and probably loud till he saw that Mark, Collins, Jason and Jen were all staring at him. Mark's mouth was even hanging open.  
  
Roger wasn't really sure what to do at that moment. This was about the most he had said to anyone in months. He wasn't sure if his friends were reacting to what he said, or the fact that he actually was in their conversation saying anything at all. Not to mention yelling at them about some girl he didn't remember even ever hearing about before. He just stood their for a moment staring aback at them.  
  
The silence was broken by Cass' voice from the doorway to Mark's room "Those were some pretty astute observations for a rude, introverted, recluse in self imposed exile who tries to come off as hating the whole damn world and wanting nothing to do with anyone in it anymore. You better be careful," she glared at Roger, "you don't want to ruin your reputation."  
  
"Whatever." Roger sort of growled as he walked back over to his guitar and the couch.  
  
Mark was still staring at Cass. He thought she had looked bad earlier, and then he had only seen her face and the broken arm and fingers. She stood in the doorway wearing her white tee shirt and a pair of Mark's boxers. She had pushed her long brown hair back into a ponytail, so everyone had a full view of the damage on her face. The white shirt and boxers just made the bruises on her arms and legs stand out even more. Everyone heard Jennifer gasp as she turned and saw her for the first time. Now that he had a full view of so many of her bruises, he wasn't sure what to do. Mark's emotions flew at a million miles a second from wanting to hug her and tell her it would be okay to wanting to hunt down the animal that could have done this to her and do the same to them. "Oh my God Cass. Oh my God. I, I, are you really all right? Do you want to sit down? Oh my god. I think I need to sit down." Mark's mind kept going back to the beautiful girl he knew so many years ago. When they had both been so young. They had spent so much time together. They rarely went to their classes then. There were times when they would spend the entire day in bed in her little studio apartment. He knew every inch of her body then. Her beautiful body. And some animal had done this to her. He couldn't stand it.  
  
"I'll be fine. I told you that. Of course it will be easier when I can look at myself in a mirror and not scare myself half to death. And he's right," she crossed the room, holding her broken right arm up to her cracked and broken ribs, "it does hurt more to sit down. Not to mention breathe."  
  
"Here." Mark said as he literally pushed Jason off the barstool he had come to rest on after seeing the shape Cass was in. "At least lean on this and the counter or something. You just look like your going to pass out or something."  
  
"No I'll be okay." But she did rest up against the barstool and counter.  
  
"My God girlfriend," Jen finally said, "what really happened to you? I mean I'm sorry. You don't even know me and here I am asking horribly personal questions."  
  
"Oh yeah I forgot. Cass Sullivan meet Tom Collins, and Jason and Jennifer Sumner. Jennifer is Jason's sister and actually lives downstairs next to the apartment I thought you had come to see."  
  
"Hey. Nice to finally meet you. I've been hearing about you all for years now. As for what happened, let's just leave it as I had a little accident for now. You know, I tripped, fell and a nice psychopath tired to help me up. Repeatedly. With his fist. And his boots. You know soft Italian shoe leather isn't all that soft when it's made into a hiking boot. And has a foot in it." She Made a motion towards her ribs with that statement.  
  
"Do you need anything? Can we get you anything?" Collins asked.  
  
"Actually I just need some more sleep. And some clothes." She said to Mark. " I needed out of those jeans and these were all I found in your dresser." She pointed at the boxers. "I'll have to get the rest of my stuff from that locker at JFK, but I may wait a day or two if you can help me out clothes wise."  
  
" Oh yeah sweetie, take whatever you want. Everything's in the two garbage bags on the extra bed over there in the corner. I just did our laundry yesterday an haven't unpacked it yet."  
  
"What he means is," Collins interjected, " that he just did their laundry and neither of them has needed to start digging through the bags yet. Unpacking in the sense of taking things out and putting it away will most likely never really happen. But aside from Mark and Rogers's laundry, do you want anything else? Some food? We were supposed to all be going to dinner."  
  
"I'm not exactly up for going out, and besides getting up here the first time with the 3 ½ flights of stairs almost did me in." Grabbing towards her ribs again. "But some food is starting to sound good. I haven't eaten much lately. Just get me something soft. Not a lot of chewing you know. Marky, you think you could run to the store for me too? I need a toothbrush. And some more first aid tape. The two inch wide kind. Also get me like two or three bags of frozen vegetable. They work great as ice packs. Better than real ice. And cigarettes. Marlboro lights."  
  
"Cigarettes? You didn't start smoking again did you? I mean you had quit for so long. And you just ran that marathon and all. How could you start smoking again?"  
  
"Don't start with me Mark. In the course of my lifetime I have given up aside from smoking, coke, red meat, tequila, which wasn't that hard after that one night. Not to mention pot and all other forms of recreational drugs. So don't start with me about a few cigarettes right now. I've had a very shitty past few days!"  
  
"Um, yeah, sorry. I wasn't thinking I guess."  
  
"We'll swing by the store and get all that for you. Right guys?" Jen said to her brother and Collins. "Anything else?"  
  
"Oh yeah, the largest bottle of extra strength Tylenol you can find. Mark will you get my backpack? My wallet's in there."  
  
"Tylenol?" Jason asked. "Didn't they give you any pain killers or anything?"  
  
"Here's you bag Cass." Mark sat it on the counter.  
  
" Oh the doctor wrote me a prescription for some super heavy drugs. You know, the totally knock you on your ass type. But I didn't think that was the best idea you know?" She said looking at Mark. "You know how it is, a promise is a promise. Which by the way is really sucking right now. But I can't go back on that one, so I guess I'll just stick with Tylenol for now. At least I didn't promise on the smoking thing, thank God."  
  
"Cass I think he would understand. I mean it's not like you would be out doing-"  
  
"No." She cut him off. "Let's not even go down that road okay? Besides, Carlton doesn't completely know what kind of shape I'm in at the moment."  
  
"Who's Carlton?" Collins asked.  
  
"Her father."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Look, you guys go ahead and go to dinner. Can you pick that stuff up and bring back some food? I'm gonna stay here with Cass."  
  
"No Mark, it's okay. Go to dinner. Besides, they don't know what I like and you do. You knew what I ate on every take out menu we had! Here's some money for everything. And get yourself some dinner too."  
  
"Cass, this is like $80."  
  
"That should be plenty, right? Do you want more? Do you need any groceries?"  
  
"More? This is plenty. You better watch your money a little bit."  
  
"Don't worry. Think of it as severance pay from my last job. Go to dinner. I'll be fine. I just want to lay back down. Wake me up though when you get back with the food if I'm asleep. Oh, and get Mr. Happy over there some dinner too." She gestured at Roger. "I've already got a headache, with my luck if you don't feed him regularly, he probably gets grumpier. So go. I'm going to go back to bed. Okay?"  
  
"Yeah, if you say so. Roger will be here anyway if you need anything. Right Roger?"  
  
"Yeah, whatever."  
  
"Okay, thanks." She turned to walk into Mark's room but stopped at the door and turned to Roger still playing with the tuning on his guitar. "Oh, just so you know. What Mark told you about us was completely true. He did get laid almost every day for about three months. And I did have a rule about the fact that we weren't dating, just friends who happened to be sleeping together.  
  
"And you of all people should have believed him no matter what. Putting aside the fact that you're supposed to be his best friend and all, you should still know perfectly well, Mark doesn't lie. Or make things up. Or like most guys, even exaggerate just exactly what he got to do or how far he got. "The fact that you thought he made that all up, and for what, to impress you or something? Is really pathetic." And with that she turned and closed the door to Mark's room behind her.  
  
Roger just sat there for a second, stunned. He jumped up, "That little bitch! I don't believe her!" He started walking around the apartment getting annoyed, mumbling about Cass.  
  
When he walked over to the kitchen still going on about how Cass has some nerve, Collins started to move everyone else out the door for dinner before Mark and Roger could get into anything. As he was going out the door himself, he looked up and realized Roger was actually starting to wash the dishes that had been sitting in the sink for who knew how long.  
  
Collins managed to stifle the laugh he felt, but he couldn't hold back the grin as he closed the door to the loft behind him. 


	2. 2

CHAPTER TWO  
  
  
  
Mark had started turning a slight shade of pink at the statements about him Cass had been throwing at Roger. He was still annoyed at the fact that no one seemed to have been listening to him all these years talk about Cass. And the fact that absolutely everyone seemed to think he made up the only part of any of it anyone did seem to remember. And for what? Just to impress Roger? Or Collins and Benny and a bunch of other guys he would meet as a college freshman?  
  
What was wrong with all of them? How could they think that about him? Don't they know him any better than that? Don't they-wait his brain stopped moving in that direction for a moment. Here he was all upset and worrying about himself, when he should be worrying about Cass. He was worried about Cass. What had really happened to her? The possibilities went from simple things like maybe she was just mugged and roughed up a bit all the way to very dark places Mark didn't want his mind to go. Places that contained thoughts Mark didn't want to fathom. Not things like that happening to Cass. His Cass. The beautiful, strong, brilliant girl he loved as a person but even more so as a friend. He had wished it had been more, but extremely close, personal, sexual friendship was all Cass wanted back then. Cass had a way of getting what she wanted. And yet somehow, Mark didn't mind back then. Cass had a power that, when she was happy, had the ability to let other people feed off her joy, her strength, her spark, her zest for life. All of it you got through osmosis just from being with her.  
  
She was probably the most amazing person he had ever or will ever meet. Even if their relationship never went back to where it had been before, or ever progressed beyond Cass' definition of friendship, she would still be one of the most important people in his life. Ever.  
  
And she had been beaten, broken and God knows what else. And Roger was most likely right the more he thought about it, she did seem to be running and hiding. And that was not the Cass he knew and loved. Cass was not the duck and run type. She was the stand and fight type. They had poured out their hearts and souls to each other on paper for years now. Maybe that was why it was so easy to tell each other everything like they always had. Because it was usually on paper. And every now and then a phone call during the year. Here Mark thought he knew her so well and it took Roger to explain to him that she wasn't in a simple car accident.  
  
Some super observant filmmaker he was. Roger meets her for ten minutes. He doesn't even talk to her and he's figured out already she was in big trouble. And he was right now that Mark thinks about it. Cass didn't have that spark in her eyes he knew so well. Aside from the bruising and the swelling, there was something else. There was fear. Cass was not prone to fear either.  
  
I'm such an idiot he thought. It's a good thing Roger figured out what was going on with her. Cass isn't one to ask for help. If Roger hadn't said something, Mark most likely would have just gone along with the car accident theory. How could he be so stupid! Thank God Roger--!  
  
Roger! Cass goes through all this and he left her alone with Roger! Mr. Sensitivity at his best right now! If she needs someone to talk to or be with, Roger is not the best choice in the world. He's dragging so much mental baggage around with him right now you could fill every luggage carousel at JFK airport!  
  
"You guys I've got to go back. I can't just leave Cass in there alone. Not right now. That can't be good for her. I mean I don't know what happened and all, but what ever it was, it had to be terrible. And I went off and just left her alone. I'm an idiot! I gotta go back."  
  
"She's not alone, Roger's there." Collins said with the grin still on his face from his last view of the apartment.  
  
"Oh great, that's probably worst than alone! It's not like Roger's all that great of company to be around right now. First off, it's not like he pays any attention to anything that goes on around him anymore. He just lives in his own little world where no one or anything exists. Except for that stupid guitar. Which by the way he does not really even play anymore. Unless he's with the band. And then he's just going through the motions. Unless someone tells him to eat, sleep, shower, take his pills or go to band practice, I don't think he would ever move off that couch again.  
  
"And that's who I went and left Cass with! And in the shape she's currently in. I can't believe I've been so stupid all day! And can you imagine if by some miracle Roger happens to notice her. Say she starts talking to him about what went on. Can't you just see the response! 'Yeah well, my life sucks more than yours so either get over it or pull up a couch cushion and wait to die like the rest of us'. I gotta go back."  
  
"She said she wanted to go back to sleep Mark. Plus, I don't see her pulling up a chair and having a heart to heart with Roger. Especially after the verbal beating she just gave him. And if for no other reason, she looked exhausted. Besides, she wants you to get her something to eat." Jen said.  
  
"Whatever really happened to her, she'll talk when she's ready and not before. And if she wants some space, you probably better give it to her." Jason added.  
  
"And if she does need someone to talk to before you get back, I think Roger can handle it." Collins said, grinning and trying to stifle down a slight laugh.  
  
"Roger can barely handle the TV remote lately, in case you haven't noticed." Mark replied dryly.  
  
"Um Mark," Collins grinned, " did you notice who was actually doing all the talking back in your apartment?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Oh yeah, I noticed." Jason started grinning. "That was more than I've heard that boy say in the last four months."  
  
"He was definitely more 'involved' in today's conversation than he has been in awhile." Jen noted.  
  
"What are you talking about? Roger is Roger and I still don't think that leaving Cass alone with the 'rude, introverted, recluse in self imposed exile' is such a great idea!"  
  
At this point Collins couldn't hold the laughter back any more. "Well Mark, you were right about your friend being somewhat amazing. I mean she actually got Roger's attention. I don't think she meant to at all, but he actually noticed her. I mean, he got up off the couch!"  
  
"Yeah, I caught onto that." Jason was grinning.  
  
"Okay, so he got up off the couch. Great. But I still don't see what that has to do with Cass."  
  
"All I'm saying is I don't think you have to worry about her while we are at dinner. Give her some time and space to get settled into the loft a little. And don't worry about her being alone, because whether you realize it or not, Roger was definitely paying attention to her, no matter how hard he tried to pretend he wasn't."  
  
"Really? I guess I didn't notice. I was paying attention to Cass."  
  
"Well I don't care what he was saying as we left, but he was not only up off the couch," Collins starts to laugh again, "he was starting to wash the dishes."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Does Roger even know how to wash dishes?" Jen asked.  
  
"I remember I once saw him sit on the counter and watch Mimi wash dishes, so I know he's at least seen it done." Jason joked.  
  
"Collins are you serious?"  
  
"I'm not kidding Mark. He was off the couch, still bitching and moaning about her, and starting to wash dishes. Actually it looked a little more like throw them around in the sink as the water ran into it, but I think it was his version of dish washing. And actually with the exception of that, he was as close to the old Roger as we have seen in a real long time."  
  
"Yeah that was kind of nice to see." Jen added.  
  
"Yes. It was." Jason said nodding in agreement. "But as far as your friend Cass is concerned, I do think you need to find out more about what happened and is going on with her."  
  
"Well I have a feeling something really bad and really big went down in Italy for her. And she will definitely need a friend, but when it all settles down, you may want to try to get her to stick around for a while," Collins smiled, "she may be good for Mr. Happy."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"That little bitch. What does she know." Roger put the coffee cup down onto the counter hard. He was mad at this point. He had known Mark forever. He knew everything there was to know about Mark. Right? Of course. Mark was his best friend. Mark had always been there for Roger. In high school with all the crap with his father. With all the bands over the years. With April. Even when he was totally messed up on smack. Even after Mark caught him and April trying to sell Mark's camera for drug money, he was still there for him. Through rehab. Not to mention the disaster and rollercoaster his life has been since he turned up positive. Mark was there. "Take your pills. Eat something."  
  
And with Mimi. Especially Mimi. Through their fights, break ups, make-ups and everything. Especially with Mimi in the end. Mark never left him. Mark never would. That's just Mark. Mark had always been there for Roger and Mark always would. Because Mark is his best friend.  
  
As the thoughts went through his mind he got more and more angry. But he was starting to lose focus on who he was angry at. Some girl, who shows up after years. After only spending like three months with Mark. And thinks she knows so much about Mark, his best friend.  
  
Or was he mad at himself? Mark's best friend. Supposedly. God, he was Mark's best friend. Right? Roger loved Mark and knew he couldn't have gotten along without him. But what about Mark? Mark always took cared of everything. "Take your pills. You've got band practice in an hour. Get some sleep you play a gig tonight." But did he ever do anything like that for Mark?  
  
My God he thought, they had lived here for years, yet Roger couldn't remember the last time he actually bothered to wash the dishes. He realized he wasn't doing the best job of it right now either, but how had they ever gotten washed before? Mimi? Yeah, sometimes Mimi cleaned up, but Mimi had only been around for a total of like four of the many years they had lived together at the loft. It was Mark.  
  
Just like the laundry. Mark had just said a "I did our laundry yesterday." Our laundry. Mark again. Thinking on it now he realized he just sort of always had something close to clean to wear. Whether it came out of a garbage bag in the living room or a pile that seemed to appear on his floor or bed. Once again it was Mark. It was always Mark.  
  
Okay, so Mark does the laundry and the dishes. Big deal. So he realized he hadn't exactly done his fair share of household chores over the years. But he had always been there for Mark. Right? Of course he had. He had to of been. He was Mark's best friend.  
  
Like with Maureen. Mark loved her. Mark hated her. Mark worshipped her. Mark couldn't stand her. Roger knew all this. He had been there for all that. But actually, everyone knew all that didn't they? When Maureen dumped Mark for Joanne what had you done for him?  
  
Think back dummy. When did Maureen dump Mark? Winter, no fall. Thanksgiving time. Yes. Before he had even met Mimi. So that meant he had to have been there for Mark. Right?  
  
But it didn't seem like he'd been very much help. He didn't remember anything. He had met Mimi at Christmas the same year. So that meant that when she dumped Mark, he was in his last state of, what did Cass call it, self-imposed exile? Oh yeah, the hermit that hated the world. That must have been a great help. Even worse, the only thing he really remembered was picking on Mark a little about turning her into a lesbian. That couldn't have been good.  
  
Well what about all the crap Maureen was pulling on Mark during the first year she and Joanne went out? Think Roger. What was it? "Fix my equipment. Take care of this for me. Stand there and let me use you to make Joanne jealous. Mark jump, Mark run, Mark sit up and then play dead." Yeah, that was pretty much Maureen. Had he done anything at all to help Mark? He seemed to remember telling Maureen where to go a few times. Or just to shut the fuck up.  
  
But did any of that really help Mark? No, it usually just pissed off Maureen. Who usually took it out on everyone around her, especially Mark. Well he may not have been much good to Mark, but at least Maureen's a whole lot better towards him now then she used to be. And why didn't he do more then? Mimi. He was too wrapped up in Mimi and their problems and lives.  
  
What about before? When Mark and Maureen were living together at the loft? She treated him like crap then too. Back then especially, it was "Mark sit, jump, beg." And the cheating. She cheated on him all the time. She hit on just about anything in pants. Even him.  
  
Oh God, that's right, even him! Maureen used to flirt and hit on her boyfriend's best friend! And what did he do? What exactly did he do? That's a little fuzzy. She'd tease and flirt and he would, he would come on Davis think. What did you do? You idiot, you'd give it right back to her! Your best friend's girlfriend. The cheating little, soon to be a lesbian, little slut bitch that she was back then, but did it right back! Because it was fun! Oh are you a loser!  
  
Did he know? Of course he knew about all the cheating. At least he knew eventually. But did Mark know about him? Not that Roger really did anything to know about. He was pretty sure about that. God how rotten can you be Davis? Did he ever say to Mark your girlfriend's a cheating slut? Did he ever ask Mark about why he went out with her? Or why he let her treat him so bad?  
  
Well answer you own questions. Think back. When Maureen lived with us, the band at the time played at CBGB's a lot. Okay, so if it was that band, then that meant he was dating April. And if that was the case, that meant he was messed up on smack most of the time. Well that answers those questions. When he was a junkie he definitely didn't do anything for Mark. Except probably make his life even more miserable. Hell for all he knew, maybe he did sleep with Maureen.  
  
But if Mark had been telling him about this girl, about Cass, for so long, why didn't he really remember anything about her? Had he really not ever been listening to Mark too? To his best friend? The guy he knew would do anything for him? Was it possible that he could have been so horrible?  
  
Roger hadn't had so many thoughts flying through his brain in a long time. Lately he tried to keep as much out of his brain as possible. Blank, dark space. Don't think of anything, just zone it all out. The world will turn, life will move on and time will pass. Easier that way. As close to getting totally fucked up as he could without actually shooting up. And why not? What did he have to stay clean for? All the years he had been clean. Why? How? When you could walk out the front door of the apartment and score within a block. What had stopped him? What had kept him clean? It sure wasn't Mimi in the beginning. It had been Mark. And after Mimi. It would have been so much easier. How then? Again Mark. His best friend.  
  
His best friend. Who cared so much for this girl it seemed. And he didn't even know who she was. Worse. What he did know about her, he had thought was all made up. To impress him. Why did he ever think Mark would even try to impress him?  
  
This girl, Cass, who had spent so little time with Mark so many years ago, knew Mark so much better than he did. She knew Mark would never lie. Or make things up. And she was right. He could never even remember him exaggerating stuff in bull sessions the way most guys do.  
  
Even tonight. Most guys would have gone immediately to the whole sexcapes part of the Mark and Cass story to explaining to everyone who she was. Not Mark. He never even brought it up until he ran out of other ways to get everyone to remember who she was.  
  
His brain was starting to hurt. He realized he had been leaning against the counter in the kitchen for about a half-hour. Just thinking. Realizing. Dreading. The dishes were piled up on the counter. Wet and dripping with could water, but actually cleaned. He was definitely getting a headache. Was it all this sudden thinking? Over use of his brain after having put it on vacation for so long? Or was it guilt?  
  
That was it. Guilt. For so many years he had been a really crappy friend to Mark. He knew it. Mark knew it. Even Cass must have known it. She must have. She knows Mark way better than he does obviously.  
  
He started pulling clothes out of the garbage bags. Making two piles. One of his stuff and one of Mark's. Yes that was it. Guilt. She spends three lousy months with Mark and they write a few letters a year. He has known him forever and lived with him for years. And she knows more about Mark then he does.  
  
That's probably why she came here. If you need help, go to Mark. Not like that's any big secret either. Even an idiot and horrible best friend like Roger knew that. But she knew Mark would do anything she needed. Especially showing up looking as bad as she did.  
  
And she did look bad. And Mark wasn't taking that all to well. Even Roger knew that. Mark wore his emotions like a sign on his forehead. He always had. When he had started in on how she hadn't been in any car accident, Roger hadn't realized till now how devastated Mark had looked. And when she walked out of his room and you really got a good look at her, and not just her face, but her arms and legs too and the bruises that covered them. Roger could see it all in Mark's face. Fear. Pity. Concern. Anger. And for a moment, Roger even thought hatred. And that was not Mark.  
  
It takes a lot to get Mark to really dislike someone. He's big on second chances. Even third, or fourth or twenty seventh. And hatred was one Roger didn't think he had ever seen from Mark before. Had you asked him before today if he thought he would ever see hatred in Mark's eyes ever, he would have said no. But when he saw what someone had done to her, Roger saw it then. He imagined Mark had it in him at that moment to rip the guy that did that to her apart with his bare hands. Roger may have been a lousy best friend and not know much about what's going on with Mark, but he knew this for a fact.  
  
The old AC had frozen up again. Roger got up and turned it off so it could yet again thaw. Roger had a pretty good guess of what else went on in Italy with Cass. The part he did have confirmed was bad enough, without the still unknown details. Even though all the bruises and the cast, you could tell she was a beautiful girl. He had never hit a girl. Ever. He had even been in two fights with guys he didn't even know because he saw them hit their girlfriends.  
  
He hated the thought of it. He remembered his father smacking his mother around. Anytime he or his brothers tried to do anything about it; their turns came next. Mark had had a hard time dealing with the idea of all that over the years. His family was crazy, strange and definitely dysfunctional but the idea of Howard Cohen back handing his wacky, pain in the ass wife, was a totally foreign concept to Mark. Mark had even seen it happen on more than one occasion at Roger's house. But still, he really couldn't believe the whole thing. It wasn't even his mother, but in seventh grade, after the first time Mark saw a scene like that go down at the Davis house, he had hives for almost a week. His mom finally took him to the doctor who said it was stress induced.  
  
After that, how was Mark ever going to cope with someone he cared that much about having had the crap beat out of them as bad as she did? And what about the rest of Roger's suspicions? Mark probably hasn't even let his mind go there yet. If it's true, that will be a hard one for him too.  
  
Cass was gonna need Mark. You could tell she was a pretty strong person. It takes guts to stand there, looking like she did, with complete strangers starring at you, and totally berate and belittle someone you only just finally met.  
  
Roger knew he had a tendency for his first response to things to be with anger. When Cass went after him tonight about Mark, she wasn't really doing it with anger. Sure there was some there, but it was more concern and caring for Mark then anger that seemed to make her do it.  
  
So yeah, she had strength and guts. But she came looking for Mark, and it seems like a place to hide out. So yes, Cass was gonna need Mark to get through all this it looked like. And Roger hoped he did know Mark well enough to know Mark was going to need help getting through this too. So he had been a crappy friend for the last, how many years? Well, more than half their lives at this point. And yeah, Roger's life sucked. And it was his own damn fault too, and he knew it. Even if he didn't want to admit it. But Cass needed Mark. And Mark was gonna need Roger. And damn it, for once in what would be his short, fucked up, wasted life, he was gonna be there for Mark. And maybe Cass too, if she and Mark let him.  
  
  
  
  
  
"I thought we were all making a valid attempt to start arriving at places on time?" Joanne asked of the four of them as she looked down at her watch.  
  
"Yeah, they wouldn't let us hold a big table any longer, so we had to take this one. If we squish, we'll all fit. I got six chairs already. I figured it was a safe bet Roger would not be joining us for dinner." Maureen added. "So what took so long? Let me guess. Either Mark's mom called and he was just dying to talk to her, or Roger was having issues deciding which tee shirt to wear when he decides to go visiting all the neighbors tonight. Or."  
  
"Maureen." Collins cut her off, trying to shut her up.  
  
"No, wait." She kept on going. How she did love to be semi evil sometimes. "My psychic powers are telling me it was a twenty minute discussion along the lines of 'Why don't you come to dinner with us? Because I don't want to. But you haven't eaten all day. I'm not hungry. Well you haven't gone out in days. Leave me along. But Roger. But Mark. But what?'  
  
"I mean really. I can understand you having that conversation with him every time you leave the house," she directed her attention to Mark, "I mean I agree with you. He needs to eat. He needs to do more than go to band practice and that stinky bar. And I'd like to see him just go out and have fun once in awhile again. God knows it might help his whole personality as of late. But it's every time. You know you're going to have that conversation. He even knows you're going to have that conversation. I hope you wear him down and he does actually come out with us again. But for everyone else's sake, could you start that whole argument ahead of time?"  
  
Maureen didn't mean to sound angry with him, but she knew she probably did. She did worry about Roger. She did wish he would come out with them again. He was a major pain in the ass to her. He always had been. But that was Roger. And that was just part of their whole strange relationship.  
  
They used to almost hate each other at times. Partially because they just got on each other's nerves. And partially because of Mark. Neither one of them liked how the other treated Mark at times over the years. They both realized it. Mark was probably the only one who didn't realize it.  
  
She couldn't fault Mark for trying thought. It was something he had to do. And not just for Roger, but for Mimi. Mimi wanted Roger to go out. Have fun. To be with his friends. Not just sit around and wait to die. Not like before. Mimi was one of her best friends. It made her so mad sometimes. She wondered if she was getting old and crazy when she started thinking this way. All sentimental and stuff! What was she doing?  
  
"All I'm saying is," trying to sound nicer, "that we did agree to try to all start getting to places on time. "Joanne and I both made it here on time, and we even arrived separately."  
  
"What a miracle." Jen was getting snotty with her already tonight. Not a good sign of how the night will go if it keeps in this direction. "Maureen Johnson arriving on time somewhere! How do you do it Maureen? I mean with all you do and all? The rest of us just have to get here from real jobs and all. Nothing as strenuous as getting here after a hard day of, what? Picking up Joanne's dry cleaning?"  
  
Maureen glared at her.  
  
"Ding, ding. Back to your corners." Jason said putting a stop to the same old stupid, childish banter his sister and Maureen had a tendency to get rapped up in. And the weird thing was, it didn't even seem to phase Joanne anymore. He didn't know how she dealt with it. God it got on his nerves. And it wasn't like Maureen and Jen didn't like each other or anything. They actually really did. They just sort of seemed to like to fight with each other. Women, who knew?  
  
"Actually," Jen started, knowing Jason was watching her, "our being late had really nothing at all to do with Roger for a change." She could see Maureen's curiosity peak.  
  
"Really? Then what took you all so long? We ordered a pitcher of beer when we saw you finally coming in." Joanne explained as the waitress set the pitcher and glasses on the table. She took their order, never bothering to give any of them menus. She knew they all had the Life Café menu memorized by now.  
  
"Actually," Jen started, knowing exactly what buttons to push to get a rise out of Maureen, "it was Mark's old girlfriend. She showed up looking to stay with 'Marky'." And she shoots she scores! She got exactly the look she wanted from Maureen. Unfortunately, she wasn't the only one who caught Maureen's look of interest, curiosity and jealously. Joanne caught it too of course. And did not look pleased. Neither did Jason, who was glaring at her with that "you bitch" look.  
  
Even thought Maureen and Joanne had been together for a few years now, longer than she and Jason had even known any of them, Maureen was still very possessive of Mark for some reason. Jen thought it may have just been fun for her in the beginning and now was just a habit she couldn't break. But with Maureen, who knew why she did what she did.  
  
Jen knew she had gone to far this time. She started to back paddle to get herself out of it. Hoping Mark would jump in and help her like he's done before when she pushed Maureen too far. But help wasn't coming. Mark was caught up in his own thoughts about the whole Cass thing. He wasn't even listening to Jennifer and Maureen.  
  
"What old girlfriend?" Maureen asked directed at Mark. She wanted to know what was gong on. She needed to know. It wasn't like he had so many old girlfriends floating around to begin with.  
  
"What?" Asked Mark, coming out of his own thoughts.  
  
"I said what old girlfriend?"  
  
"Oh, um Cass. Cass Sullivan. She had some problems in Italy and is going to stay at the loft for a while I guess." Mark sighed. He knew she would be no different then the others. Of everyone, Maureen seemed to listen to what he said the absolute least. Her not having the slightest idea of who Cass was would not come as any surprise at all to him. He was just about to start explaining, again, to Maureen and Joanne who Cass was when Maureen blurted out "Cass Sullivan?"  
  
"Yes, Cass Sullivan. She -"  
  
Maureen cut him off. "Wasn't she that freaky, weird smart chick? The one that wrote your papers for you before school even started. And didn't she used to send you stuff like all the time? Beer and chocolate and cigars or something? Just to let everyone know where she's been in the world. Oh! What a show off. Real brainy, knew like French and something else? Is that who we are talking about?"  
  
Mark was shocked. Of all the people to have actually paid attention to what he had said about Cass over the years. Maureen! Who would have ever thought? He certainly wouldn't have. And from Collins, Jason and Jen's faces, he guessed they never would have either.  
  
"Yes. Exactly who we were talking about. How did you know that?"  
  
"Well it's not like we haven't heard about her enough over the years! 'Guess what'?" She started in a mocking tone. "I got a letter from Cass. She's gong here or she's going there. Guess what Cass is doing. Did I tell you where Cass is going to work next? Cass sent me chocolate from some fancy county. Or Cass sent me alcohol from someplace for my birthday'.  
  
"Ugh! Sometimes it seemed like all we ever heard was what she was doing or where she was going. Who really cared? I mean none of us ever even met her. It just always seemed strange that someone as smart as she supposedly is didn't have a real job. Or at least a vacation over all the years you have known her where she came to visit you.  
  
"Don't you guys think that was a little strange? Has she ever had a real job? And what, now after all these years she just shows up on your doorstep? No call? No email? No fancy letter on purple paper in that super loopy girly handwriting?"  
  
She looked at Collins, Jason, and Jen and Joanne. Expecting someone to side with her on how weird this girl must be. They met her tonight. Didn't they agree? Why were they all just looking at her like that?  
  
"Maureen, I could kiss you at this moment. I'm not going to, but know, that I could kiss you. As for you three and Roger, ha! Look who actually listens!"  
  
"What is he talking about?" Joanne asked.  
  
"Never mind. I'll explain it too you later." Collins said hoping to avoid the large messy scene that would ensue between Joanne and Maureen if Joanne ever found out that not only was Maureen the only one that seemed to know anything about Cass, she seemed to know an awful lot about her.  
  
"So why is she here? What kind of problems in Italy would force someone to live with the two of you in that dump?" Maureen needed to know.  
  
"You lived with the two of them, as well as Benny and I in 'that dump' if you recall." Collins pointed out.  
  
"Well that was different." Maureen brushed him off and directed her attention back towards Mark.  
  
"Oh you should see her! Black eye, broken arm, covered with bruises. She's a mess!" Jen said. "Somebody beat the absolute crap out of her big time."  
  
The waitress brought the food and Mark ordered to go food for Roger and Cass. "Yeah. She's in really bad shape. I still don't know what happened exactly. She was mainly sleeping all day. Jet lag you know."  
  
"Except for when she was reading Roger a major riot act." Jason smiled.  
  
"What? Why would she do that?" Maureen asked.  
  
"It's a long, long story. Don't worry about it." Collins answered, striving for peace, harmony and quietness between Joanne and Maureen, at least during his dinner. 


	3. 3

CHAPTER 3  
  
  
  
Roger sorted through the two garbage bags, throwing Mark's stuff on the mattress and his onto the couch. He wasn't really sure what to do next. Talk to Mark? And say what? "Sorry that I've been a total asshole most of our lives and it took some beat up girl who knew you for like a minute to make me realize it." Oh yeah, this was going to be easy. No problem. Who was he kidding? If he said anything even remotely like that Mark would think he was crazy.  
  
He picked up his pile of clothes, took them to his room and threw them on his bed. He started to fold Mark's clothes. Well, sort of fold them, sort of just make a neater pile. With that he picked up the clothes and started towards Mark's room. Just as he was about to push the door open, he remembered Cass was sleeping in there and stopped.  
  
The door to Mark's room never really closed all the way without really pushing it hard with your foot at the bottom. Especially in the heat and humidity of a New York summer. Cass hadn't known this, so the door was still standing a little ajar. Roger stood there for a moment. Listening. Waiting. Trying to figure out what to do next.  
  
That's when he heard her. It took him a second to realize she was talking in her sleep. She must be dreaming he thought, and it didn't sound like it was all that great a dream. He pushed open the door the rest of the way and walked into the bedroom.  
  
"Cass." He said softly as he put Mark's clothes on the floor by the bed. "Cass, wake up, your dreaming."  
  
"Cass." He said again, a little louder. Roger reached out to touch her good arm. "Cass, wake up." She stirred just as he placed his hand on her shoulder.  
  
"No!" She yelled as she bolted upright.  
  
"It's okay. You were just dreaming. It's gonna be okay."  
  
"Maybe not." She said through clenched teeth.  
  
Roger watched the color drain from her face as she sank back down onto the bed. She clutched at her left side with her casted arm and was taking in big gulps of air and holding her ribs.  
  
"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just meant, I mean you were dreaming and talking in your sleep and I thought, oh shit I'm really sorry Cass."  
  
She squeeze her eyes closed tight and was still breathing really fast. " I know that hurt. I'm sorry. Just don't breath so fast and it won't hurt as much." He watched her lay there for a second and try not to breathe as hard. After a moment or two he could see some of the color come back and her face relax some.  
  
Roger sat on the edge of the bed and waited. When Cass opened her eyes again she saw that he was watching her. "I'm really, really sorry. That was really stupid of me. I didn't mean to scare you or anything. It just seemed like you would be better off awake than dreaming whatever you were dreaming. I'm really sorry. Are you okay? Do you want anything?"  
  
"No, it's okay. I'm fine. It just hurt for a second you know? Is Mark back yet?"  
  
"No, but they can't be that much longer. Are you sure you're okay?"  
  
"Yes, like I said, I'll survive."  
  
"That wasn't what I asked you. I asked if you were okay?"  
  
"Are we talking about my ribs or life in general at this moment?"  
  
"Both I guess."  
  
"Well, my whole fucking body hurts, especially my ribs right now. But the bruises will heal. Just give me a couple of days an all this should fade away and heal up. I'll be fine."  
  
"Not all bruises heal so quick." Roger was looking down at the bed with those words.  
  
"I said I'll be fine." She argued but she was looking down too, trying hard to avoid any possible gauze from Roger.  
  
Still without looking directly at her, Roger got up form the bed and moved towards the bedroom door. "Look, not to be a total asshole or anything, but let me just say it. I've got a pretty good ideal what went down in Italy. And I'm sorry. Really, really sorry. I'm pretty sure it was more than just getting the crap beat out of you. All I'm saying is, if it makes it any easier on you to know that I think I know what happened, great. If not, again I'm sorry. But if you need anything, just say so."  
  
"Thanks." She said softly, without looking up to meet his eyes.  
  
Roger turned to leave the room. "Wait." Cass said quietly. "About before, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone off on you like that."  
  
"It's okay. Besides, you were right."  
  
"I know I was right. But I still shouldn't have said what I said. Especially in front of all your friends."  
  
"No, you were right and I did deserve all that. I've been a really lousy friend to Mark over the years. And it took you pointing it out to make me realize it. I mean I've know him forever and you only spent like a few months with him and you even knew it.  
  
"He's taken a lot of crap from me over the years. And I regret that. Hell, I regret a lot. But I can't change any of that. But maybe I can do a little better. Look, Mark's my friend. You're his friend. So just say something if you need anything. Okay? Really. Anything. Okay?"  
  
"Okay." She said softly. Without looking at him she turned toward the door where he stood. Barely audible, just above a whisper she asked, "Would you just sit in here with me till Mark comes home? I mean I'm still tired, but I don't really want to sleep right now. I don't really want to talk or anything, but I just don't want to lay in here in this dark, little room alone right now."  
  
"Sure. I guess." And he walked around to the left side of the bed and laid down next to her in the dark. When he did, his fingers on his right hand brushed against her left arm.  
  
"Thanks"  
  
They laid there in the darkness listening to the sounds coming in the open window for a number of minutes before Cass spoke. "Do you ever feel like your living in a nightmare and you just can't seem to wake up?"  
  
In a soft quite voice he hadn't heard from himself in a really long time he answered "Everyday."  
  
With that Cass moved her left arm over a little. She felt herself bump his hand. He started to move it when her hand closed down over his. They laid there like that in the dark, warm room. Dozing in and out. Listing to the sounds coming from the street. And waiting. Just waiting. Waiting for Mark. Waiting for time to pass. Waiting to see what would happen in their own personal nightmares next. Just waiting.  
  
  
  
  
  
The waitress set the bag with the to go orders on the table and made change for Mark. "Okay, I'm gonna take this home while they are actually still warm. You guys don't mind going to the store for me?"  
  
"No we needed a few things anyway." Jason answered looking towards Collins. "We'll pick up the stuff and drop it and Jen off at your building."  
  
"That works. Then I don't have to walk home along. I usually don't mind, but the heat seems to bring out all the wackoes. So it was first aid tape, frozen vegetables, toothbrush, cigarettes and a large bottle of extra strength Tylenol. Anything else?"  
  
"Yes actually. Get some coffee and half-and-half. Cass is big on coffee, especially in the morning."  
  
"Okay, and coffee. Hey wait a minute, what are you going to do with coffee? You don't have a coffee maker anymore?"  
  
"No, but this really great girl on the second floor of my building does." Mark gave Jen a big pathetic grin.  
  
"I see. So should I expect you to steal my kitchen appliances everytime one of your old girlfriends shows up?" She teased him. "Take my coffee maker. Just keep your little roommate away from it. Unlike that cheap piece of crap you two owned, I have a very nice and expensive coffee maker."  
  
"He said that was an accident." Mark told her.  
  
"How do you 'accidentally' throw an unopened can of soup at a coffee maker and send it crashing to the floor?" Jason asked.  
  
"Why would you throw a can of soup at a coffee maker in the first place, accident or not?" Joanne added.  
  
"I think," Collins started, "that the accident part was that he hit the coffee maker. I believe he was aiming at the wall actually. As for the soup, who knows, probably the only thing handy."  
  
"Well," Jen said, "I've seen your cupboards. He should have cooked the soup. It's a miracle you had it in the first place. Either way, keep Soupboy away from my innocent, defenseless coffee maker. And realize also, that I will be up there looking for coffee tomorrow morning."  
  
"Speaking of that," Joann stepped up, "I thought we were doing something brunch like tomorrow? It being Sunday, and Labor Day weekend and all. Not to mention the fact none of us were able to do anything on this holiday weekend to mourn the end of summer."  
  
"It's still too damn hot to mourn it's lose yet. However, we did talk about doing something. Preferably something cheap, but more importantly air conditioned." Jen said.  
  
"Well," Maureen started, knowing this could work or not, "since there is already going to be coffee at Mark's, and they have AC in the living room, and the only way to get Roger to eat with us is to go there, why don't we do that? We can stop and pick up some bagels and cream cheese. Right Pookie? You guys bring the paper and maybe some munchies. We'll find something to do then. Besides, then we will all get a chance to meet Cass."  
  
Mark was still amazed at the fact that Maureen even knew who Cass was. However, it also worried him just a little that she was so interested in Cass as well. "I don't know if that is such a great idea. I mean you know how well Roger takes to surprises and visitors, and he got both of those tonight. Plus I don't know if Cass is up for a big social thing."  
  
"Well it would be nice to get to know her. I mean from the little bits you said about her so far tonight, she seems really interesting to say the least. But I can understand her not wanting a 'meet and greet' tomorrow." Jen said. "So why don't we plan on my place. Say noon? If she's up to it, we'll all come up. If not we'll stay at my apartment."  
  
By this point they were outside of the Life Café. They all agreed on noon at Jen's place. Jen, Jason and Collins headed to the store. Maureen and Joanne headed home. Mark, with the bag of to go food stared the couple of blocks home as well.  
  
Mark hoped Cass had gotten at least a little sleep. Hopefully he would find out what had happened to her. He also hoped Roger had behaved while he was gone. If Roger had made things worse, Mark wouldn't be able to forgive himself. He reached the front door to the apartment building and let himself in with his key.  
  
As he climbed the three flight of stairs, three and a half including the front stoop, he realized that had to of been a lot of steps for someone with broken ribs hauling a backpack and a computer case. He had hauled Roger up these steps many times in the past. He also had dragged a drunk Benny or Collins up a few times when they all lived together. Even Maureen upon occasion.  
  
But Roger a number of times. Sometimes they would have gone out and he just had way too much to drink. No big deal, friends drag their drunken buddies home all the time after a good night out. But the other times. The times when he would find Roger and sometimes his then girlfriend April, either in the lot next door cause they couldn't wait to get upstairs. Or sometimes in the hallway landing when it was really cold out.  
  
Mark never really said anything then. What was he going to say? It wasn't like Roger was going to listen to him. That much was proven tonight. And not back then especially. Mark had been talking about Cass for years. Both before and after Roger had gotten clean. No, Roger hadn't heard him about Cass when he was clean, there would definitely had been no point in talking to Roger back when he was still using. Mark knew that back then too. So all he could do was haul his friend up three and a half flight of stairs and dump him in his bed.  
  
Then Mark would stand there and argue with himself about April. He didn't like April. He never had. Mark blamed April. Sure Roger had been doing drugs since high school. But April made Roger a junkie. That was all April's fault. At least in Mark's mind.  
  
Mark would tell himself Roger would be better off without April. That if he left April down in the alley, or on the landing, maybe she would just go away. Maybe she would take off and never come back. Maybe something would happen and she would be gone forever. That's what he needed. That's what Roger needed. Mark knew in his heart Roger would have been so much better off without April, but by that point in the argument with himself he would have made it back down to the lot or the landing and was hauling April back up to the loft and dumping her in bed next to Roger. Because that's what friends do. You sucker Mark.  
  
As he walked into the apartment he set the food down on the counter. More accurately, into the large puddle that had formed on the counter. Mark turned to see where all the water had come from and was amazed to see the stack of washed dishes. Wow. To get Roger to do anything as of late was amazing, but to wash dishes, that was a shocker. Maybe Collins was right. Maybe Cass did really get to him when she yelled at him.  
  
Roger wasn't in the living room, which was surprising. Having only the one AC and it having been so hot, lately they had both been sleeping in there. One on the couch and one on the old twin mattress and box springs they used for an extra couch. The guitar was still sitting on the milk crate coffee table. It was only about 10:30 at night, but the light in Roger's room was off. He went to the door, which was slightly open and pushed it. "Roger." No answer. "Roger, I've got your food." Still no answer. The lump on the bed that Mark could see in the darkness wasn't moving either.  
  
Mark flipped the light on. The lump in the bed was laundry, not Roger. Mark was pissed. Roger hasn't gone out on his own in a while, and he picked tonight to start. All he had to do was be his hermit self and stay here with Cass and he couldn't even do that. Damn him! Why couldn't he just-.  
  
"Hey."  
  
The sound of Roger's voice made Mark jump. He was in the doorway to Mark's room and Mark could see Cass starting to sit up on the edge of his bed. Opps. Roger hadn't gone off and left Cass after all. He must have been sitting in there with her. Come on Mark, give the guy some credit, he's starting to look like he deserved it tonight.  
  
Mark watched Roger gently help Cass up from the bed. Because the bed rested right on the floor, it was pretty low and she needed help pushing herself up.  
  
"I brought you some food. Jen's gonna bring the rest of the stuff from the store later."  
  
"Cool. I'm actually hungry." Roger said, moving his guitar over to the twin mattress.  
  
"Cass did you get any sleep?" Mark asked as he got the to go orders out of bag and set them down on the milk crates.  
  
"A little. I'm just hot and uncomfortable and the stupid cast itches and the tape itches and pulls and, sorry. I don't mean to bitch. I'm just hot."  
  
"It's okay. Here sit down. I got you a bottled water and a spinach tortilla quesadilla with soy cheese and spinach. I wasn't sure where you were meat wise so I went vegetarian."  
  
"Yuck!" Roger said as he made a face while looking at Cass' food.  
  
Cass was sort of used to that reaction from guys. She just sort of laughed, especially when Roger opened up the top of his styrofoam container and she saw his dinner. A bacon cheese burger with french fries that were swimming in gravy and covered in melted cheese. "Yuck!" She replied back to him, pointing at his food. They both started to laugh.  
  
"Yeah well," Mark sort of laughed too. "I never said either of you were exactly gourmets or anything. You're right though it is really hot in here. The AC must have frozen up again. Not that it would matter in the bedroom I guess. We sort of got used to it I guess. We only just got an AC about two months ago."  
  
With that Roger's head snapped up. "Oh man, we're fucking idiots!" Cass and Mark just looked at him as he put down his burger and got up and walked to his room.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Mark asked.  
  
Roger walked out a minute later. He was wearing different tee shirt and had changed out of his jeans and was wearing just boxers. "What I mean is we are fucking idiots."  
  
He walked over to the air conditioner and turned it off.  
  
"What are you doing? It's hot enough in here already." Mark was confused. He was glad Roger was acting more like his old self, but between the dishes an now the air conditioner, Mark was beginning to think Roger had either lost it or had been abducted and replaced by an alien clone or something.  
  
Roger unplugged the air conditioner. "Of course it's hot in here. This thing is so close to death, it can't cool a room as big as this." He was opening the window and pulling the AC out. "That's why it keeps freezing up. If we had been smart, we would have put it in a smaller room and slept there." With that he walked into Mark's room with the air conditioner.  
  
Mark looked at Cass. "He's right, we are fucking idiots." She just smiled at him and kept on eating.  
  
Roger came out of Mark's room. "Okay, give that about twenty minutes and it will cool off in there. Of course it will suck in here, but at least Cass can get some sleep."  
  
"We really should have thought of that awhile ago. That was pretty dumb of us." Mark looked at Cass. "Somebody gave it to us right around the fourth of July. Here it is, Labor Day weekend, the end of summer, and we just realize it should have been in a smaller room." He shook his head before looking up again. "What are you doing now?"  
  
Roger had moved the remaining laundry, garbage bags and his guitar off the twin mattress against the living room wall. He pulled the mattress onto the floor and was picking up the box springs. "What?" He asked as he walked into Mark's room.  
  
"I said what are you doing now, with that?" Mark asked as he heard Roger drop the springs on the floor and then a scraping noise. Roger was pushing Mark's dresser out the bedroom door into the living room.  
  
"What? I figure out what it will take to make having this thing worth while and I move it, and you think I'm gonna keep sleeping out here in the heat? Dream on buddy! It was bad enough you kept winning the bed and I got the piece of crap couch when we were sleeping in here."  
  
"Oh. You know that couch wouldn't be such a piece of crap if your butt weren't sitting on it all the time." Mark joked. "But seriously, about your moving into my room." Roger wasn't listening; he was moving the mattress in now. "If you're really worried about Cass getting any sleep, you'll sleep someplace else. There was a reason I moved to the room on the other side of the loft if you remember."  
  
Cass was laughing at the two of them. Roger grinned. "Mark complained Mimi and I were too noisy." He laughed. "I think he was jealous."  
  
Mark just stood there amazed. He hadn't seen Roger smile in a long time. Especially at the mention of Mimi's name. "Well it wasn't just that noise. It was the coming it at 3am, which by the way you never do quietly. I mean really Cass you should hear it. Doors slamming. Guitar cases and amps dropping. He flings his boots across the room. He's awake, so the TV goes on and he starts channel surfing. And then there is the guitar playing at four in the morning. But the biggest issue with you sleeping in my room is the fact that you snore buddy. You really, really snore!"  
  
"Give me a break, I've had my nose broke like three times!"  
  
"Yeah, and everytime you snore worse!"  
  
At this point Cass was laughing and crying. She was holding her ribs and tears were running down her cheeks. "You guys stop. Please. It really hurts to laugh. Please stop. You sound like some old married couple! Maybe you two have lived together for too long." Now she was cracking herself up and trying hard to stop.  
  
"Whatever." Was Roger's only response, but they could both tell he was amused. He got up and opened the door that Jen had just knocked on  
  
"Okay Soupboy," she said to Roger as she, Collins and Jason walked in. "Here's my coffee maker. I want it returned, in one piece, in perfect working order. Got that?"  
  
"I said that was an accident." Roger laughed.  
  
"Whatever. You just keep your hands and canned goods off my coffee maker." She smiled at him, surprised to actually see him laughing. "And here are all the groceries you wanted Cass." Jen started pulling things out of the bags. "Here's your change. And we were all planning on doing brunch thing tomorrow around noon. If you're up for it, we'll all come up here. If not, I'll corral them all down at my place. 'Kay?"  
  
"Sure. Thanks. I mean I guess that's okay. I can't imagine I could feel worse than this. And it's not like everybody didn't already see what a mess I am. Mark toss me the Tylenol."  
  
He brought her the bottle. "You don't look that bad Cass, really."  
  
She swallowed four pills and smiled at Mark. "You are such an absolute sweetie, which is one of the reasons I love and adore you, but you are a horrible liar!"  
  
Mark started to get pink in his face. "No really. It's not so bad. And I think some of the swelling and bruising has gone down even since you first got here this afternoon."  
  
"You know, I think you may actually believe that. And with that said, I'm gonna take my bag of frozen lima beans and go to bed." She got up off the couch, picked up the frozen vegetable bag and kissed Mark on the cheek. "Goodnight. And Marky, thanks." As she opened the bedroom door they felt some of the cold air escape out.  
  
"Hey, um, 'Marky'." Jason said. "we were all talking and we feel really bad that none of us had paid attention to you all these years talking about Cass."  
  
"Especially me." Collins said. "Especially since I met you like just weeks after she left. And I feel real bad about the other part too."  
  
The smile had faded from Roger's face. He couldn't pull his eyes off the floor to meet Mark's. "Yeah, um, Mark," he started, "I've been thinking about all that. And that was really shitty of me. I mean you deserve better than that. And that part about thinking you made all that up and stuff, I'm really sorry. I should have known better and I'm sorry. I mean you're my best friend and all and I owe you like everything. The fact that you put up with all my crap for so long to begin with just makes what I did even worse. I mean I can't ever make it up to you, but just know I'm really sorry." He gave Mark a big hug.  
  
Mark was somewhat shocked. It took him a second to remember to move his arms to hug Roger back. "Um, thanks guys. I appreciate that, really." Whoa, clean dishes and an apology from Roger? All in the same night? He barely expected that in the same year.  
  
"Well, at least not all your friends are total losers." Jen started to point out, with a sheepish grin on her face. "Maureen certainly seemed to remember you speaking about Cass."  
  
"Boy did she ever!" Jason laughed. "I'm not sure which was better, the look on Mark's face when she started talking, or the look on hers when she realized she was the only one that was talking."  
  
"And did she know stuff." Jen continued.  
  
"What do you mean?" Roger asked.  
  
"Honey, she was spurting out details left and right. Stuff Mark hadn't even mentioned to us. And going on about how 'all we ever hear about is where she is and what she's doing and what she sent Mark'. To hear Maureen talk, you would have thought Mark had been giving a daily running update on the happenings of the queen."  
  
"Yeah that was kinda freaky weird. I mean the last person I would have ever expected anything like that from would be Maureen. What do you think was up with that?"  
  
Collins just started laughing and Jason smiled. Mark got the feeling what ever they were laughing at had something to do with him and it was something they had discussed before. Possibly often. "What was up with that, my friend, is called jealously, in a very big way."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Mark was confused.  
  
"Yeah, I think I could see that." Roger started laughing.  
  
"Give me a break guys. You are all having memory problems again. You seem to forget, to quote my father, the great pig headed, narrow minded, bigoted philosopher he seems to think he is, that I 'turned her into a lesbian' in the first place. What would Maureen have to be jealous of Cass about?"  
  
"I don't know Mark. She's always been kind of possessive of you." Roger added, still grinning.  
  
"Very true. She's never liked any girl you had anything to do with. She was horrible to that Abby girl you dated. And she always had snide remarks to make about that girl Kimberly who worked on that film project with you a few years back." Collins said.  
  
"But," Mark started, "that's just Maureen. She always has to be the center of attention. That's why she's like that. It wasn't just Abby or even Michelle or even the girl Diana I saw for a while. She doesn't like anybody any of us have anything to do with because she thinks it will take away from her. And she makes snide comments about everyone." They all just blankly looked at him. "I mean it is anybody any of us have anything to do with, right?"  
  
"Well," Collins began, then paused. "She has in the past been a little over bearing to new people. But no where as severely as when it is someone that has something to do with you."  
  
"Yeah, I mean she even had problems with Jen in the beginning." Jason said. "And then there's the whole Roger thing."  
  
"Huh?" Roger and Mark both said at the same time.  
  
"Well, um, you know." Jason started, wishing he hadn't opened his mouth. "She just sort of always has seemed to be well, I don't know, jealous of Roger."  
  
"What are you talking about, she just has never really gotten along all that well with Roger."  
  
"Yeah." Roger added, laughing some. "She thinks I'm a fuck head. She's told me so. Many times actually."  
  
"What he means is," Collins said, "that, well, over the years, I think Maureen may have felt like Roger kind of, I don't know, I guess took up a lot of your time. Maybe time that should have been more directed towards her."  
  
Roger's eyes were on the floor again. He couldn't look at Mark. He couldn't look at any of them. He knew Collins was right. Whether it had anything to do with Maureen or not he didn't know, but he did know for a fact that Mark's taking care of him over the years had eaten up a lot of Mark's time and energy. And life. And Roger kinda hated that.  
  
"Okay I can understand, sorta, her having a problem with some of the girls I had stuff to do with in the past. But Roger? That's pushing it guys. I think it's the drama queen thing." Mark told them.  
  
Oh Mark, Roger thought, you're so good you don't even see the truth about how I've sucked up so much of your life.  
  
"True, she did have that center of attention thing going for a long time. But you know she has gotten a whole lot better about that lately." Collins said.  
  
"Oh yes she has." Jen jumped in. " I think she began to realize she couldn't do the drama thing forever and started to grow up. Or she realized Joanne wouldn't deal with it forever."  
  
"One thing's for certain," Jason pointed out. "Joanne realized tonight just how much Maureen did pay attention to Mark. Especially when she found out no one else had. Did you see the look on her face?"  
  
"Yes and she seemed to take it awfully well." Collins said. "I mean there was that initial look Joanne shot at Maureen, and then that was it. The two of them seem to have calmed down over the years. Come to think of it, it has been a long time since a break up / make up mess like they used to have all the time."  
  
"Yeah, they have definitely settled down some." Mark said.  
  
"Well," Jen grinned, "brunch should be very interesting tomorrow. I mean, Maureen in the same room as Mark and Cass and Joanne. We'll see just how far they have really come then."  
  
The realization of all that went through Mark's brain. "Maybe brunch isn't the greatest of ideas after all."  
  
"No, it'll be fine." Jen assured him. "I promise I'll behave, and we will all run Maureen interference. I have got to find out what's up with this girl!"  
  
"Jen!" Jason yelled at her. "She may not want to talk about the last few days of her life yet, you know? Especially to a bunch of strangers. God! What is wrong with you sometimes? I swear!"  
  
"I don't mean about that! I mean I'm sure that's the last thing she would probably want to talk about. What I want is details from that summer!" She grinned.  
  
"What?" Mark almost yelled.  
  
"Actually, I'm pretty interested in that too." Jason piped in. "I mean it sounded pretty serious Mark."  
  
"You both did mention a few things that were not exactly stuff any of us would have expected from you back then Mark." Collins laughed.  
  
"Can we move beyond the fact that no one seemed to think it possible that I ever got laid back then." He was starting to turn pink again.  
  
"Actually," Collins said, "I was referring to the parts about cutting classes, her writing papers for you, hanging out in the park all day. That's what I was talking about.  
  
"But now that you mention it, I'm pretty curious about how this whole little saga began. I mean I just don't see you walking up to her in the halls of Brown and saying 'Hey baby, you want to get together and rock my world'?"  
  
Jen, Jason, and Roger were all laughing now. "Fine, fine, laugh it up. First off I did cut a bunch of classes then. And she did write some papers for me. And how I met her was absolutely nothing like that! And I'm not going to tell you idiots anything more. You want to know, you ask her!"  
  
"Oh believe me, I will." Jen assured him.  
  
"Um, I think I may have been kidding about the you asking her part. That may not be the best idea!"  
  
"Good night Marky!" Jen laughed.  
  
"Yeah, night Marky."  
  
"See you tomorrow Marky."  
  
"You guys I'm serious!" Mark called as his friends walked out the door. "And what are you laughing at?"  
  
"Oh nothing. Nothing at all. Marky." Roger laughed.  
  
"You guys are unbelievable!"  
  
"No seriously Mark, I need to talk to you for a minute." Roger had stopped laughing and was looking at the floor. "I've been doing a lot of thinking tonight. And I meant what I said before. You do deserve better than me as a friend all these years. I'd be dead by now if not for you. Seriously. I've been really crappy to you in the past. You have done so much for me over the years and I've been horrible for you to live with sometimes.  
  
"And what Collins said about Maureen, I don't know if that's true or not, but taking care of me and my life and problems has really eaten up a lot of your life and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I can never make any of that up to you. All I can do is tell you I'm sorry and how much you being my friend means. And hope you forgive me."  
  
"It's okay Roger."  
  
"No it's not. You're my best friend Mark, and I love ya, you know?"  
  
"Yeah. Same here." Mark said as he hugged Roger.  
  
"Thanks buddy. You're the best. Oh, and Marky," he said as he pulled away from Mark, "just because I told you all that does not mean that I won't be sleeping in your room with the AC!" Roger winked at Mark and turned to walk into the cold bedroom.  
  
"Great! Just what I need. I spend my life not being listened to by my friends. My ex-girlfriend the lesbian has some weird jealousy thing going on. And after years of taking care of your sorry ass, I now get to sleep with ear plugs!"  
  
Roger just smiled and quietly laughed as he stepped into Mark's room. Mark was still amazed at the whole day. First Cass showing up and all. And then Roger. Who along with attempting to do dishes, had apparently done something along the lines of putting the laundry away. And then all that. Apologies and heartfelt emotion? From Roger? Who had actually been laughing, smiling and joking with everyone today. Wow was all mark could think. It had been quite a day.  
  
Mark just kept thinking all this while he cleaned up from Roger's original cleaning up. At this point he was tired. Not that it was all that late, especially for all of them. Often they are out to two or three in the morning sometimes. Here it was only a little after midnight and he was exhausted. Both mentally and physically.  
  
He was ready to go to bed, but he couldn't stop his brain from thinking. Today had been so bad in so many ways. Seeing Cass like that. That first image of when he realized it was actually her. It was a sight he knew would haunt him forever. And finding out no one had listened to him over the years. And then the whole Maureen thing. Yes, today had been really bad.  
  
But at the same time it had been so good too. Cass had come here, to him for help. And Roger. In less than twelve hours Mark had seen a tremendous change in Roger. And for a change it was a good change in Roger. Closer to the old Roger. Back before, well, everything. And then there was the Maureen thing, which was also a sorta good thing Mark thought. A little freaky weird, but kinda cool at the same time.  
  
Mark opened the door to his room and surveyed what was left after Roger's rearranging. The one dresser was in the living room already. The other had been pushed partially in front of the closet door so it wouldn't block the window the air conditioner was in, but did block the closet.  
  
Roger had squeezed the twin mattress and box spring onto the floor between the wall and Mark's double mattress and box spring. It was I there so tight, and because both were directly on the floor, it looked like one very huge bed.  
  
The room was nice and cool for a change. Given enough time, it might even get cold in there. Cass was actually a sleep. Her casted right arm and splinted fingers resting on a pillow. Next to her, on the twin mattress lay Roger, holding her left hand. Sound asleep. And snoring.  
  
Mark couldn't help silently laughing to himself as he took off his shorts and climbed into bed in his boxers. Maybe Collins was right. Maybe he should try and get Cass to sick around for awhile. Maybe she was good for Roger. Maybe she was good for all of them. 


	4. 4

CHAPTER FOUR  
  
  
  
When Mark woke up, Cass was already out of bed. Roger was still asleep, snoring on the twin bed. Mark got up and looked around for his glasses and couldn't find them. He wasn't sure where he set them last night, but with Roger's furniture moving, it may not have mattered.  
  
Cass was sitting at the counter, smoking a cigarette, drinking a cup of coffee and trying to get her laptop to boot up. With only two fingers to type with, it didn't seem to be going well. With her left hand she was holding the bag of frozen vegetables to the side of her face.  
  
"Hey sweetie."  
  
As she turned to speak to him Mark saw she was wearing his glasses. "Hey, I was looking for those."  
  
She started to take them off, but he shook his head as he started to drink her coffee. "I can't exactly wear my contacts right now. Besides, both my contacts and glasses are not exactly handy at the moment. I hope they are in my bag at the airport and not still in Italy."  
  
"Do you still have a lot of stuff in Italy?" Mark asked.  
  
"Well, I'm not really sure. I was supposed to be there about ten weeks. I only completed about half of that, so yeah, I had a good amount of stuff with me I guess. After I got to the hospital, I sent my friend Giavanna back to the little villa I was staying at to get me some stuff. She threw some stuff into a suitcase and my backpack, got my computer and my passport and that was it. Honestly I don't even know what she packed for me. The rest she was supposed to box up and hold till I told her where to send it."  
  
"So you never went back to your villa?"  
  
"Nope, and I never will." She looked straight at the computer screen, but Mark could see tears welling up in her eyes.  
  
"It's okay Cass. You can stay here as long as you want." He said as he hugged her from behind. "And you know I would do anything for your. And I'll never let anyone hurt you while you're here. Roger too."  
  
"Thanks sweetie." She wiped her eyes as she kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"A little less swollen I guess. But my ribs are still sore."  
  
"Yeah, I remember Roger's took a couple of weeks." He sat down on the barstool next to her. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Trying to get into my email. But first I have to get out of all the Italian settings and re configure it for local internet access. It' s a real pain actually. Especially trying to type like this." She said holding up her splinted broken fingers and casted arm.  
  
"Well keep my glasses. I'm gonna take a shower. But I am gonna need them back to actually leave the loft." He grinned. "So maybe I'll see if I can get Jason or Collins to go to JFK with my today to get your bags. Hopefully your glasses will be there. If not, one of us will be running around blind until we get you new glasses."  
  
"Thanks Marky."  
  
"Hey, if you couldn't see anything, how did you get all the way here from Italy?"  
  
"Let's just call it blind determination." She smiled.  
  
Mark smiled back at her and shook his head. He picked up her coffee cup and walked into the bathroom to take a shower.  
  
Cass sat there trying to fix the computer for a while linger before she finally gave up for now. She was hot. And the tape on her ribs itched. And the tape on her fingers itched. And the damn cast itched.  
  
She looked around the loft. You know, this place wouldn't be so bad if it was cleaned up and painted maybe. Too bad their landlord was such a cheap bastard. But then if he ever fixed this place up at all, poor Mark and Roger wound never be able to afford to live here.  
  
Bingo! That's what I need, she thought. She grabbed the wire clothes hanger that was sitting on the floor under the armchair. She started to try to bed it with her left hand, but it didn't really work.  
  
"Cool coffee!"  
  
Cass turned to Roger who was walking out of the bedroom in his boxers. His blond hair with it's dark roots all messed up on his head. "Hey, bend this for me so it's flat and narrow."  
  
Roger poured himself a cup of coffee and reached for the hanger. "Not bad. We sleep in actually functioning AC last night and we got coffee in the morning. Life may actually be picking up around here. Is that what you want?"  
  
"No, make it thinner. Hey why didn't you have coffee before? And what was all the 'Soupboy' stuff with Jen?"  
  
"Well, um, I accidentally, no, actually it wasn't an accident. I was pissed at the world, and picked up a can of soup and threw it. Hard. I wasn't actually aiming at the coffee maker or anything. I just happened to hit it." He shrugged, eyes on the floor.  
  
Cass took the hanger from his hands. "Roger." She said in a quite voice. "I was real sorry to hear about Mimi. I would have come to the funeral, but I didn't have my phone and it was about two weeks later that Mark's letter got to me. I'm really sorry."  
  
"Thanks." But he still didn't look up. Now Cass could see tears welling up in his eyes.  
  
"I mean it. She was so sweet. And she loved you so much. Mark was so happy you two had found each other. He said you two meant everything to each other."  
  
"Yeah. I loved her so much." He said, barely above a whisper, wiping his eyes.  
  
"She was so sweet. And she knew you loved her. She really did. She told me." Tears started to roll down Cass' cheeks. "I talked to her about two weeks before she went to the hospital. She was so worried about you. She knew she was getting sick. She was afraid you'd go back to how you were before. She didn't want that, you know?"  
  
Roger's head snapped up and he grabbed her by the shoulders. If he hurt her she didn't show it. She met his eyes and held the stare. "You knew Mimi? How? When?"  
  
"I, I don't know. I guess about three, 3 ½ years ago. I mean I knew all about her from Mark. He had told me about that whole Christmas and everything with Benny. He told me about how you met and all. But I guess it was about 3 ½ years ago. I called to talk to Mark and he wasn't home I guess. Mimi answered the phone and we started talking. I talked to her a few more times. From then on, every time I talked to Mark I guess either she would answer or Mark would put her on the phone to say hi.  
  
"And then we started writing too. I mean I already knew her before I ever talked to her. From Mark you know. Like I knew you. And well, Mark and Mimi talked. Kind of a lot I guess. So she knew all about me before then too. And well, we just sort of hit it off."  
  
Tears were running down both their faces now. Roger grabbed Cass and hugged her hard. In a hoarse whisper he spoke to her. "It figures. Mimi would have been the one to have listened to Mark. All the years the rest of us weren't paying attention, Mimi would have been.  
  
"And she would have been the one to talk to Mark too. I guess none of this should have been a surprise. I should have known it. And the letters. Purple paper with girly writing. I saw those. I asked her who they were from. All she ever said was 'a friend of mine'. I mean I knew she wrote letters to someone. Long letters. I'd watch her. Pages and pages it seemed like. The last couple of months, when I'd see her writing them, it always seemed like she was staring at me. I'd ask her what she was doing and she say 'nothing, just writing a letter'. All that time, that was you?"  
  
"Yes, I guess it was. I'm sorry Roger. I thought you knew."  
  
"Actually, I think knowing all that kinda makes it better." He hugged her hard again and she made a pained sound as he let her go. "Oh god Cass, I'm sorry. I totally forgot. Here I am squeezing you like an idiot!"  
  
"It's okay, really. Now the ribs on my right side will match the ones on my left side." She gave him a small smile.  
  
They both started to laugh as they wiped away the remaining tears. Cass picked up the hanger Roger had bent for her. "What are you going to do with that anyway?"  
  
"Well, since I don't think I ever plan on having sex ever again, the closest thing to an orgasm I may ever get!" Roger gave her a very confused look as Cass took the wire hanger and shoved it down in between her arm and the cast. "Oh thank God! At this moment, this is better than any sex, drugs for anything in my life! You have no idea how bad this thing itches! Especially in the heat!" They both started laughing.  
  
At that point Mark walked out of the bathroom. "Oh good your up. Did you take your pills? You're late already. Don't forget, everyone's coming over here for brunch. Which by the way should be interesting, considering Jen has already let me know she wants details. Which, knowing you," he said with a devilish grin, "you'll give her just to watch me squirm. I don't get it. What is it with all the women I know? You, Jen, Maureen, you all love to pick on me and - Hey, your not supposed to do that!" He said pointing at the hanger Cass was pushing up and down in her cast.  
  
Roger and Cass just looked at each other and smiled. "And how did you manage to bend it like that with only one hand?"  
  
Cass looked at Roger and the smiles turned to giggles. "I had Roger do it for me." She giggled harder.  
  
"Oh you're a big help! You probably scratched at your chicken pox as a kid. I swear." He yanked the hanger away from her. By then Cass and Roger were losing it. She was holding her ribs and tears were rolling down her cheeks again. Roger was laughing so hard he crossed his arms on the counter and laid his head down on them to try to stop.  
  
"And what is so God damn funny?" Mark demanded.  
  
"I really have no idea!" Roger said still laughing. "But it must be something really good." And a big grin broke out across his face and he kept laughing.  
  
Cass was laughing and smiling as well.  
  
And by then, Mark was too.  
  
  
  
  
  
Roger dug out an old pair of overalls form the bottom of a pile and gave them to Cass. "Where did you find those?" Mark asked.  
  
"In my room at the bottom of a pile of clothes. They're the ones I spilled paint down the leg on when I helped Izzy paint the bar."  
  
"Isn't it amazing what you can find living on the floor of your room."  
  
"Yeah well, smartass, I'll never wear them again. This way she can cut them and have shorts to wear. She said she didn't really want to cut off her jeans, but it's still so hot out. Anything else of ours would be too big for her, except for boxers. Not that I have a problem watching her run around in my underwear."  
  
"Me either." Mark agreed.  
  
"I just figured she'd rather have something else to go out in."  
  
"Yeah, I'll see if Jason or Collins want to take a train ride to JFK with me and get her luggage. If nothing else we need to find her glasses. We can't share mine forever."  
  
"I'll go with you."  
  
"You will?" Mark was amazed. Roger was volunteering to leave the loft. Mark's alien abduction theory was starting to sound more plausible again. "You want to go all the way to JFK? With me?"  
  
"Well not if you don't want me to." Roger said, sounding slightly annoyed.  
  
"No, no I didn't mean that at all. I was just surprised. I mean with the exception of band stuff and work, you really haven't left the loft since, since, well a while now."  
  
"I know. Since Mimi died. You can say it. It's okay."  
  
"Yeah, okay, since then." Mark still couldn't bring himself to say Mimi's name out loud in front of Roger.  
  
"When I met Mimi I was a recluse. I'm not much better than that now. She would have hated me like this, wouldn't she?"  
  
"Well, yeah, I guess. Pretty much. I mean when you were together you were actually happy. She saw you happy. For the last couple of years we all did. It was like the best you ever were. She didn't want to see you go back to how you were before. She worried about that. A lot." This was a conversation Mark had had with Roger a million times since Mimi died. Yet this was the first time he ever let himself say those words out loud for Roger to hear. The first time it actually took place outside of Mark's head.  
  
"Yeah, I know she did." His eyes were back at the floor. "I owe it to her to not do that, don't I?"  
  
"Well, I don't know. I guess. I mean, that's what she wanted. More than anything I think."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me Cass knew Mimi?" Roger was looking directly at Mark now.  
  
"I don't know. I mean I figured you knew. It never occurred to me that you didn't know who Cass was until yesterday. So I never thought you didn't know Cass and Mimi talked. I thought about that last night when I went to bed. I didn't know what to do Roger. I didn't know what to say to you. I still don't." He started shaking his head. "I don't know what to do about you, her, what to say about Mimi, Italy, Carlton, her uncle or anything right now. I don't know what to do or say about any of it. I'm sorry." Mark sat down on the barstool dropping his face into his hands. "I'm really sorry Roger."  
  
"Nobody expects you to Mark. Well, okay. Maybe nobody but me I guess. Whether I like it or not I guess I always did. So I'm sorry Mark. I never should have put all that on you for so many years. I was just too much of a chicken shit to take responsibility for my own fuck-ups. I'm sorry.  
  
"As for Cass and all that, I don't know either. I guess we wait and see. She'll tell you when she's ready I guess. And everyone, especially me and Cass know you'll be sitting there when she does. But I'm gonna help this time. I promise." He paused for a minute then continued.  
  
"Cass just told me about knowing Mimi. In a way it makes me feel even worse I guess. It means that not only did I not pay attention to you, I never heard Mimi either. That's just one more thing to add to the list of things I regret.  
  
"But at the same time I'm really glad. It makes me feel better knowing Cass knew Mimi. And she seemed to really know her too. And those letters. I remember her writing them. They really seemed to mean something to her. I never really asked her about them because they seemed important to her, and well if she wanted to tell me she would. And that's okay.  
  
"Once she got clean Mimi didn't have any friends other than all of us, or so I thought. I'm glad she had somebody else to talk to. I guess it kinda makes me feel closer to Mimi knowing she used to talk to Cass. And you. Cass told me Mimi used to talk to you too. I never knew that."  
  
"I don't think she wanted you to know." Mark said almost in a whisper.  
  
"No, she probably didn't. She knew I'd make you tell me what was going on with her if I knew she was talking to you."  
  
Mark didn't know what to say. Even if he did, he didn't think he would have been able to get words out over the lump that settled in his throat.  
  
"No it's okay. I'm glad Cass knew Mimi. And I'm glad you were there for her too. All that really makes me feel better about Mimi. And I never thought that would happen. I figured I'd die hating the world for what it did to Mimi. And me. And now, not so much. I don't know. But I think it's a little better today."  
  
"That's all she would have wanted." Mark said quietly.  
  
"Yeah, I think it is."  
  
They both just sat there, at the counter on the barstools. Not talking. Just sitting there, thinking for the next few minutes. The silence was broken by Cass' voice.  
  
"Do you own anything other than tee shirts? And why do so many of them have the sleeves cut off?" She joked at Roger as she walked out of Mark's room. They both just looked at her. Her long dark hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. She had on one of Roger's sleeveless tee shirts with his overalls over it. She had cut them into long shorts and rolled the cuffs to just above her knees so they covered her bruised thighs.  
  
She had her cast back in the sling. The bruises on her upper arms and left wrist were still visible, but like her face, had started to lose some of their darkness. There was still a sick greenish tint to all of them, and her face definitely still had a lot of dark purple coloring in it, but for some reason they didn't notice the bruises right away anymore. Instead, what they did notice was she was smiling. As beating looking as she still was, she had a beautiful smile and that was what Roger and Mark could see. Not the bruises or the still black eye, but a smiling Cass with eyes that had a lot more sparkle then the previous day.  
  
"What?" She asked at them. They were still looking at her.  
  
"Nothing." Roger smiled. "Nothing at all."  
  
At that there was a knock at the door and Mark got up to open it.  
  
"Okay Soupboy," Jen called to Roger, "my coffee maker still alright?" She, Collins and Jason walked in. Jason was laughing at Jen's comments and carrying a copy of the Daily Post, the New York Times and the Village Voice. He set it down on the counter next to the orange juice and cut up fruit Collins had just sat down.  
  
"Very funny. Ha Ha." Roger said dryly, but everyone could tell he was amused. "Actually I was just getting ready to make more coffee just now." However he never moved to get up from his seat at all.  
  
"Don't even think about it Davis. I'll make it." Jen said and walked to her coffee maker. Roger looked at Mark and winked, as if to say, "That's what I wanted in the first place." Mark just started to laugh.  
  
"So where are the bagels?" Jason asked.  
  
"Right here." Came Maureen's voice from the hall as she and Joanne came through the open door. "And you will all note that we are again on time."  
  
"Golf claps!" Mark called out. With that Collins, Roger, Mark, Joanne and even Maureen who it was directed at had a short laugh at that. Jen and Jason had heard this line before and knew it was an inside joke that was before their time. Jason knew it had something to do with Angel, but he never asked, and didn't really seem to mind.  
  
As the food was being brought in and set on the milk crate coffee table, everyone went into the living room area. "Hey where's the couch?" Maureen asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"The bed we use as a couch. Where did it go?"  
  
"Oh you don't want to know. Well actually you lived here, you'll appreciate my pain." Mark answered her, but before he could finish Jen jumped in.  
  
"More importantly, where is that decrepit, pathetic thing you two call an air conditioner?"  
  
"It's all part of my master plan." Roger grinned.  
  
"Yeah well, as I was saying," Mark continued, "Cass was hot, and Einstein here realized the AC would work better in a smaller room. So he moved it, into my room. Which was fine, but then he moved the twin bed in there too and plans on sleeping in there until it gets cooler out."  
  
"You let Roger move into your room?" Maureen asked, wide eyed and amazed.  
  
"Did you hear the work 'let' at any time?" Mark asked her.  
  
Collins and Maureen started laughing, and Cass was definitely amused as well. Jason, Jen and Joanne were all looking confused. "I don't get it," Joanne asked, "what's so funny?"  
  
"Well," Collins began, "Roger is not exactly known for his quietness at night. Plus, there is that little factor that he snores like a freight train."  
  
"Oh Mark, I'm sorry." Maureen laughed.  
  
"Hey!" Roger yelled at them.  
  
"And when he's got a cold, or passes out," Maureen added, "it sounds like someone strangling an elephant."  
  
Collins and Mark were laughing and nodding in agreement. The others were also starting to laugh. "When we all lived here, we, um, would draw straws to see who had to sleep in the room next to Roger's!"  
  
"You all do realize I'm standing here in the same room with you." But he was amused.  
  
"Maybe that's what happened to Benny," Maureen laughed, "lack of sleep."  
  
Collins, Mark and Maureen started laughing even harder. "What do you mean?" Joanne asked.  
  
"Well," Collins was having a hard time talking. "We used to switch that room our every month. But what Benny didn't know," he had to stop for a second, "what he didn't know was that we rigged it so he was stuck there the most!"  
  
"Yeah, that was pretty funny." Even Roger was laughing now.  
  
"Oh come on you guys," Cass broke in. "It wasn't that bad." They all looked at her somewhat skeptically, but still laughing. "I mean when you turn on that old AC, the motor makes so much noise, you can hardly hear Roger."  
  
"Hey laugh all you want," Roger said, obviously still amused, "but it was nice and cool in there last night." 


	5. 5

CHAPTER FIVE  
  
  
  
They all sat around eating, drinking coffee, looking at the paper and talking for awhile. "What's that beeping noise?" Jason finally asked.  
  
"Oh, that must be my phone. The ringer is off. It beeps twice every so often to let you know where it is and that you have messages. It'll beep once if I get an incoming call. I need to turn it all the way off. But just ignore it for now. I know I have messages, but the last thing I want to do right now is deal with those."  
  
"That's what that was last night? I thought it was your computer or something." Roger said.  
  
"That's a neat feature. Just two beeps for an incoming call? Can you silence it completely?" Joanne asked.  
  
"Oh yeah, you can set it to complete silence with a blinking light alert, you can set the sounds, you can probably set it to make you waffles in the morning if you want." Cass shrugged.  
  
"It has about a thousand features, none of which I ever used until the other day, and I'm not really sure how I set it, or unset it at the moment. I didn't exactly read the directions. I never used all that stuff until now. I used to have a basic phone, but with traveling, it got a little difficult sometimes. Depending on which country you're in the satellite networks and phone systems can be a little bit different. Pain in the ass actually.  
  
"I never really used to worry about it. Pretty much everyone that wanted me got a hold of me by email anyway. I only got this phone after M--, after I missed a really important call from a friend who doesn't have email." She looked into her empty coffee cup. She was going to say after Mark couldn't get in touch with her. He had been trying to get her. To tell her Mimi was dying. When he couldn't get the call to go through, he Fed Exed a letter to her, knowing it wold get forwarded to wherever she was then. But she didn't get it till two weeks after Mimi died. Mark now knew Cass had gotten that phone because he couldn't reach her about Mimi.  
  
Mark looked at Roger. His eyes were down on the floor and he had that blank, lost look on his face he got when Mimi's name came up. Did Roger realize it too? He was sure he did, but was amazed to see Roger look up and move back into the conversation when Jen spoke.  
  
"Okay. Well, enough polite conversation." Jen smirked at Mark. "I want the dirt! Spill your guts Marky and start explaining how this strange summer that sounds so much not like the sweet little Mark Cohen we all know and love came about!"  
  
"Okay, so as you've all seen the Sumner family is not well known for their tact." Jason said at Jen. "But now that she brought it up, I want to know too."  
  
"Yeah Mark, how did you end up at Brown for a summer session anyway? I don't remember." Collins said.  
  
"Okay, okay, I'll tell you that part." Mark knew he had no way out. He looked to Cass for help, but he could tell he wasn't going to get any. "I'll tell you what I was doing at Brown that summer, but that's it.  
  
"It started around Christmas break of senior year of high school. I had a decent job at this video place, making like $9.50 and hour managing the place. The guy that owned it, owned some other stuff too and didn't have time to deal with it, and his kid, who worked there, didn't want anything to do with it really."  
  
"That's because his kid was one of the biggest pot dealers in Scarsdale." Roger jumped in.  
  
"Well, that too. And he was using the store to move his stuff. Which I accidentally found out about. So to keep me quiet to his dad, he gave me $100 a week cash to just ignore him at the store. So on top of my $9.50 an hour, I got an extra $100 no one, including my dad, knew about and I spent most nights in the back office getting paid to sit on my ass and do my homework."  
  
"I didn't even know about the $100 bucks till later." Roger griped.  
  
"That's because you would have had me sitting at dinners at 2am every weekend, and loaning you pot money. So no, you didn't know about it. I was saving that for when I went to school in the fall. I already got accepted at Brown for early admission, so all I had to do was finish the school year, work all summer, sell my car and then goodbye Scarsdale."  
  
"Geek!" Roger joked.  
  
"Yeah well, you could have done something too if you hadn't been copying my homework for all those years. And bothered to actually come to school senior year."  
  
"I came to school senior year. Like every day."  
  
"Sleeping in the back seat of my car in the student parking lot was not what I meant." Mark joked back. "But I digress. So it looked like no problems right? Wrong. First, my father had already started giving me the 'you better know what your doing with your life' speech and how I better not be wasting his money. You got to remember, Howard told me I could do what ever I wanted as long as it didn't cost a fortune and wasn't more than a three hour drive. Otherwise, he was dropping me off as a freshman and not coming back until I graduate."  
  
"Which completely explains why you went to Brown." Cass laughed.  
  
"Yeah Howie was always kind, generous and caring that way." Roger added.  
  
"Yeah well. So that was how it was planned out. Then the Evil Princess comes home on winter break."  
  
"Who's the Evil Princess?" Jen asked, confused.  
  
"Cindy." Roger and Cass said at the same time.  
  
"Right. So the Evil Princess returns, and tells everyone she marring that idiot Peter. That's enough to put my mom over the edge, planning a wedding like two years away. So my mother decides she's losing her babies and plans this big family vacation for that summer.  
  
"So get this. My wacko parents, Cindy and Peter, my little sister Molly, who's like ten, my aunt and uncle and their three kids, all under 12, along with Peter's parents, and his sister and her family and little kids. And me. All of us on the Big Red Boat going to Disney in Florida!"  
  
"Oh yeah, I remember that!" Roger laughed.  
  
"Well I just had to get out of that. So I pushed how I had to work to make money for school and all that. I had them almost convinced. Mean while, Einstein over there," he points at Roger, "announces, like a total idiot in front of my father, how he's gonna spend the summer at the Jersey shore, playing in a band and how I should quit the video store and come hang with him all summer."  
  
"Oh yeah." Roger stopped laughing.  
  
"Well, I think I'm out of the family vacation from hell thing because of work, when, at the end of January, the pot king of Scarsdale burns the place to the ground. He and a couple of his friends use his key and go in after closing and party in the basement. Somebody dropped a cigarette and because he forgot to turn the alarm system back on when they left, the fire alarm never went off at the alarm company and the whole thing went up."  
  
"Oh yeah." Roger laughed again.  
  
Mark gave him a look then continued. "So there went my very good paying job as a high school senior, not to mention my extra hundred a week, as well as my way out of the vacation from hell. So I sorta start to look for another job, but the shore thing with Roger is sounding better and better. Even if I just get a job on the boardwalk. Well, Howie gets wind of this."  
  
"Is that when he was calling me a 'guitar playing freak'?"  
  
"No, that period of time you were just 'that Davis kid, the guitar playing bum'." Mark laughed. "So Howie put a big 'don't even think beach or I won't pay school a cent and I don't mind saving the money with your sister getting married and all' on that whole idea. And then he gets this great plan and gets me a job at his company for the summer. My mom thought it was the greatest thing. We could ride to work together and spend 'quality time'."  
  
"Ha!"  
  
"Will you shut up?" He said to Roger. "Howie thought it would be good for me to wear a tie and have 'responsibly'. You know, learn what a real job was like instead of being a dumb ass who makes movies. Oh, and get this, the best part is they want to pay me a whole $5.75 and hour!  
  
"So I'm royally screwed at his point I think. Well some school stuff comes, and it's talking about summer sessions as well as fall stuff. I knew that was my only way out.  
  
"So I try to convince Howie that if I went to summer session, I could graduate sooner and it would cost him less. And I'd be out of his hair. Plus I could easily find a job there making more money. At first he wasn't buying it, so I had to use the only leverage I had."  
  
"What was that?" Jen asked.  
  
"Roger!" Mark laughed. "I told Howie if he didn't want me to go to summer session, that's fine, I understood. I'd work with him all summer, but on the weekends, I wanted to go to the shore with Roger. Then, just as he was about to start in on me about Roger, I pushed it all the way." He grinned. "I told him how the guy in the mail room at his office said they needed more help and wanted to know if I had any friends. So I told him, that if the band thing didn't work for Roger, and it wasn't looking good for that summer, that maybe we could get Roger a job there too. And how that's probably just what Roger needed, a little responsibility. And hanging around you Dad would be really good for Roger. Yeah, maybe I should stay. Then the three of us could all ride to work together. All summer." Mark's grin grew even bigger. "Next thing I knew, I was registered for summer session."  
  
"So by threatening to take Roger with you, you managed to get out of all that completely?" Maureen stated more than asked.  
  
"So glad I have my uses." Roger laughed.  
  
"Okay, so that's how Mark got to Brown early, but what about Cass? And why didn't Benny or Collins know her there?" Joanne asked.  
  
"Because she left before I knew either of them." Mark said with a touch of disappointment in his voice as he glanced towards Cass.  
  
"But how did you get there?" Maureen asked.  
  
"Everyone was harassing me to go to school, so I picked Brown." Cass shrugged.  
  
"But what made you pick Brown? I mean if you went to high school in LA, why not go to some big deal on the west coast?" Maureen asked.  
  
"I didn't exactly go to high school in LA. Not all of it at least. I had school issues. At least American school issues. "  
  
"Did you go to school in France?" Maureen pushed on.  
  
"Yeah and how did you end up in LA from France?" Jen asked.  
  
Mark knew the two of them wouldn't let up. He looked at Cass, trying to get an idea of what she was thinking, but he couldn't get a read on her just then.  
  
"Well, okay, my father was American and my mother was French. My mom's family had old world money that came from an old family business and a good size vineyard. My mom has one brother, Andre, who is like twelve years older than she is. After their father died, he took over the family business. Carlton, that's my father, worked for Andre and ended up marrying my mom.  
  
"So we lived in France and went to Italy and Switzerland and Germany a lot. Hence the reason I know French, Italian and some German. Well, cause of all the traveling and stuff, when I was little, my cousin, Jon Claude and I were, what Americans called home schooled. So I did that for a while, then Carlton and I moved to LA and I went to school there. And after I completed what I needed, I decided to go to school on the East Coast just to get everyone to leave me alone. That's how I got to Brown."  
  
"Wow, so you got to travel all over Europe? Instead of go to school? That must have been cool." Jen said.  
  
Cass shrugged. "Not really. You've got to understand in an old European family business, the family image is somewhat important. That meant my mom, grandmother, aunt, cousin and I had to often go to different places for social type meeting. You know, teas and gatherings and banquets and things like that."  
  
They were all just sort of looking at her. Cass didn't tell people stuff like this often. Mainly because she would forget that they usually didn't just know 'things like that'.  
  
"Well, we all went. Jon Claude and I were mainly just left with a nanny or something. Sometimes, when Andre thought it was beneficial, he'd parade us around. Especially Jon Claude. He was supposed to have to run that whole damn business someday. It wasn't like it was really any fun or anything."  
  
"Oh. So why did you stop? And move to LA?" Jen asked.  
  
"Yeah, and where's your mom? Still in France?" Maureen added.  
  
Neither of them noticed, or at least paid attention to the nasty looks both Jason and Joanne were giving them, in the hopes they would be quiet.  
  
"Well, when I was eight, Andre was in Italy, Carlton was in Germany and the rest of us were home in France. Well some big deal came up all of a sudden and Andre wanted all of us to meet in Switzerland. You've got to remember it's not as dramatic as it sounds. From France to some places is like going from New York to Boston." Cass tried to put a little perspective into this for them. By the looks on some of their faces, she had a feeling she was starting to overwhelm a few of them.  
  
"But the problem was, I had just come down tonsillitis and a bad ear infection so I couldn't fly. My mom wouldn't leave me in France sick, so she told Andre she wasn't going. This became this big family fight over the next two days.  
  
"Andre was arguing with my mom, saying he needed her there. My grandmother and aunt were arguing with Andre because they couldn't believe he was being so difficult. My grandmother told him she was going to stay behind with me and my mom could go, which started even more fights. Finally Carlton got caught up in it from Germany, and made my mother leave me there and to just have the nanny bring me out when I could fly.  
  
"Jon Claude told me his dad made Carlton do that, so not only was everyone mad at Andre, they were now mad at Carlton too. So I stayed behind in France, they all left to meet Andre and Carlton in Switzerland, and that's the last time I ever saw them." She shrugged.  
  
Everyone except Mark was staring at her wide eyed. Mark knew the story. He knew how it had screwed up Cass, her family and her life. He figured a lot of the not so great stuff that happened to her, and the not so smart things she sometimes did, all went back to this story. Mark's thoughts were broken by Maureen's voice.  
  
"Well, what happened?"  
  
"The plane had an electrical problem and it hit the side of mountain." Cass said, very matter of factly.  
  
"Oh Cass, I'm sorry." Jen was the only one to speak out loud, but everyone's head was nodding in agreement.  
  
Cass just shrugged. "It was a long time ago."  
  
"So is that why you moved to LA?" Jason asked.  
  
"Somewhat, yes. I mean Andre and Carlton still had a business to run and still had the problem of what to do about me. They tried to send me to catholic boarding school. I hated it. I managed to get kicked out. The good sisters and I never quit saw eye to eye. Anyway, they tried a few more boarding schools, but I was 'dismissed' from those as well.  
  
"By the time I was ten, Andre had gotten remarried to Gigi the Super Bitch. She said I acted like a 'wild American,' I might as well be one. Andre needed someone on the West Coast, so he bought a big house and he sent Carlton there. Thus getting me out of his hair and he didn't have to worry about how bad it looked with me getting kicked out of all those boarding schools. Unfortunately, Gigi liked LA a lot, so she was there often."  
  
"Wait, I thought you said you didn't go to high school in LA?" Jen asked.  
  
"I started out in high school there. After my assorted educational past as they called it, I ended up skipping a two grades so I started high school when I was still twelve."  
  
"See I told you she was like freaky smart." Maureen jumped in. Mark looked at her, expecting trouble, but that was all she said.  
  
"So where did you go?" Jen was confused.  
  
"It wasn't exactly a regular high school?"  
  
"What one of those new age schools?" Jason asked.  
  
"Not exactly, more like a rehab." Cass shrugged.  
  
"Wow! So what did you go to rehab for?"  
  
"Maureen!" Joanne and Mark both yelled at her.  
  
"Sorry." She gave them both a look. "So um, how do you graduate high school from rehab?"  
  
"Maureen." Joanne said in a tone that was supposed to let her know she was getting annoyed.  
  
Cass let out a small laugh. "It's okay. Like I said, I skipped a few grades. While I was there, I managed to test out of a lot of stuff and meet a lot of requirements that I wasn't meeting in regular school because I had cut so much."  
  
"How long were you there?"  
  
"Maureen! Could you be any nosier?" Joanne scolded.  
  
"Almost six months."  
  
"Wow! Roger was only in rehab for a few weeks and he was on heroin! What were you in for?"  
  
"Maureen! For the last time, don't you have any tact? I swear!" Joanne threw her hands up as she gave Roger an apologetic look.  
  
"Sorry. But it's not like everybody doesn't want to know." Maureen wined.  
  
Cass almost had to laugh at the two of them. "Apparently, people though I did a little too much coke."  
  
"And it took you six months to get clean?" Jen asked amazed.  
  
"Jennifer, you're no better than Mo!" Jason yelled at her.  
  
"Not exactly, I just couldn't leave any sooner."  
  
"Really? Roger could have left rehab anytime he wanted. Mark had a couple of fights with him to keep him there the whole time." Maureen told them all.  
  
"Mo, will you shut up!" Mark told her.  
  
"Yeah, I could have walked out I guess. How did you end up there six months? Just for coke?"  
  
Cass shrugged again. "Yeah well, you were over 18 went you went to rehab. You probably signed yourself in. I was only 16. It was a little closer to country club jail I guess. I got cleaned up, but I couldn't leave. I guess they figured it was a good place to stash me to keep me out of trouble and out of their way for a while." She told him as her eyes dropped down to her coffee cup.  
  
"Man, and I thought Mark was annoying!" Roger joked.  
  
"Oh thank you. Loser!"  
  
"I still don't get how you could graduate that early, in that amount of time." Jason asked confused.  
  
She shrugged again. "I just read the stuff and tested out of junior and senior year stuff. I didn't need to worry about electives, just basic graduation requirements."  
  
"You tested out of two years of school stuff in six months!" Jason said, amazed.  
  
At this Mark started laughing. "Oh wait till you hear this! Tell them how you did that."  
  
"I just read the books and took the tests. I mean I did great in school on all my tests and things, the thing that was getting me into trouble was the stupid rules about showing up every day and staying the whole time."  
  
"Yeah, I remember those rules." Roger laughed. "Real annoying."  
  
"Tell them what you meant by 'read the books'." Mark told her.  
  
"I read the books for the classes and just remembered it I guess."  
  
"She read the whole book." Mark started. "Like in the first few weeks of school. She would read the whole book, from start to finish. For all her classes."  
  
"You're kidding right?"  
  
"No. I just wanted to get it out of the way so I wouldn't have to bother with it later. Besides, my cousin would show up a few weeks into school. That's when the new party circuit would start. Once I asked some of my teachers if I could just take the final an everything in like October. First they thought I was kidding, then they thought I was crazy."  
  
"How did you do that? I mean, you never opened the book up again after you read it?" Joanne was amazed.  
  
Again Cass shrugged. She looked down at her coffee. She didn't like telling people stuff like this, it made them uncomfortable around her, but there was no turning back now. "I just remembered it once I read it."  
  
"Now you all know, unlike some people," Mark announced to the room, "that Cass remembers everything I tell her."  
  
"I don't know, I just always did. School was boring. By the time I was 13 I was already working for Carlton. By 14 I was working more, ditching school, only showing up for the tests. I wanted to drop out, but you can't till your 16."  
  
"That's actually pretty impressive." Joanne said.  
  
"But we still haven't found out about you and Mark." Jen said.  
  
"After rehab, everyone was pushing me to go to college. Andre wanted me to get my masters in international business or some crap like that for when I help run that stupid company, which, by the way was never going to happen.  
  
"So to get away from all of them, I started looking for schools on the East Coast. I don't know why I picked Brown. I didn't have any real intention of staying, just go for awhile to get them off my back."  
  
"But why did you only come for the summer?" Jen asked.  
  
"Oh, you'll love this, tell them why you only stayed for the summer." Mark prodded.  
  
"Well," Cass gave Mark a small grin. "In case you haven't noticed, it gets cold here. And it snows. I didn't want to deal with that."  
  
"That's it?" Collins asked.  
  
"Yep. That's it." Mark said matter of factly. But he was laughing along with everyone else.  
  
Cass shrugged again. "Besides, by the time I got back out to LA, everyone would be back in Europe for a while. They didn't know I was coming back."  
  
"Okay, so now we know how you both got to Brown that summer," Jen began, "but how did you meet? And her writing your papers?"  
  
Cass smiled. "We were in the first class together, and Mark sat down next to me drinking coffee, which smelled really good. What you have to understand is, that in rehab, I sort of replaced cocaine with coffee. So we start talking about where he bought it at and all, because what I had that morning was crap."  
  
"So we ended up going to the coffee place for lunch, and it turned out we both took the companion course to the first class together as well." There was a collective "awe" from the group and Mark started to turn pink again. "So we just started hanging out together that week."  
  
"Well by the second week of school, I was bored with the whole class thing, and they only took attendance in the one class. It was a sign in thing, so I paid this guy $30 to sign us in for the rest of the course. I had those two, plus Mark had a third. Surprise, surprise, a watch this film and do a paper type thing.  
  
"All three of the classes were paper based grades, we knew what the papers were ahead of time. Some were a little research, some were subjective. So I spent one solid weekend writing the two main papers, told him we'd do the little essays a few at a time. It was all on the syllabus, we hardly ever made it back to the classes. And you got what, B's?" She asked him.  
  
"Two B's and an A." Mark laughed.  
  
"Hey, when I came to see you at school you'd never ditch for me. You were always like I gotta go to class." Roger joked at him.  
  
"First of all, you weren't writing papers for me, I was. Secondly, she's a lot cuter than you."  
  
"I'm cute!" Roger said as everyone started to laugh.  
  
"That was it?" Maureen asked, almost disappointed. "You have coffee and lunch and the next thing you know your ditching class and baffing all day?"  
  
Collins and Jason gave each other a look and a little laugh. Collins also shot a look at Roger and could tell Roger was also thinking back to the conversation about Maureen. What was the deal with her lately?  
  
"Well, no, I mean, we, well meet and, well, um." Mark stammered.  
  
Cass was laughing. What she knew about Maureen had come from Mark. As she looked around at the others and the looks going between the guys, she wondered if there was more than she knew about. Not that Mark wouldn't have told her, just maybe he didn't really realize it himself.  
  
"So what exactly do you do Cass?" Collins asked, coming to Mark's rescue.  
  
"Well," Cass paused. "I do, or at least did do research, along with some other stuff basically. I don't know if I'm still doing that any more or not. I haven't decided. But basically I do research and a little in house computer security for Andre. Basically, if you want to find out about something or someone, I can find it. Most of the time legally."  
  
"How did you learn how to do all that? I mean if you didn't go to college and all." Joanne asked.  
  
"Mainly from working with Carlton. That's what he does for Andre. And I did take some college classes. The ones I figured I could use. Some of it I just learned from reading stuff and playing around. Actually, it's kind of a lot of fun. Well, it used to be fun I guess." She got quieter as she said the last sentence and her eyes went to the ground as her smile faded from her face. Barely above a whisper she spoke again. "That's what I was doing in Italy. Research."  
  
After an ackward silence, Jen spoke up. "I can't believe you left the East Coast just because it gets a little cooler here in the winter."  
  
"You have to forgive my sister Cass. We moved here from Minnesota so sometimes winter here seems more like a heat wave after the temperatures we dealt with back home over the years." Jason smiled at her.  
  
"Well, I guess I got a little spoiled in the California sun."  
  
They all sat around a while longer drinking coffee and looking at the paper. It was decided that Roger, Collins and Jason would go to the airport and pick up Cass' luggage from the locker. No one said anything out loud, but everyone was shocked when Roger asked if anyone wanted to go with him to JFK. Roger told them all how he was going to go with Mark, but maybe Mark should stay here so as not to leave Cass all by herself. Mark managed to keep his chin off the floor in amazement when Roger initiated that conversation. He did notice Collins looking at him, smiling and nodding as if to say "see I told you she'd be good to keep around." Mark could only smile at that thought.  
  
It was then that the phone started to ring. Even though Roger was sitting within reach of it, he just kept talking, not paying any attention to it.  
  
"Loser get the phone." Mark said playfully.  
  
"What?"  
  
"The phone, answer it."  
  
"You get it, it's for you anyway. The only people who would call me are either already here, or Izzy about the band, and he's out of town."  
  
By that point the answering machine had picked up and they all heard the beep and then a dial tone. "Great, they hung up." Mark said as he walked back to the kitchen to get more milk for the third pot of coffee they had made at this point.  
  
The phone started to ring again. "Forget it." Was all Roger had to say.  
  
Collins shook his head as he got up and answered the phone. "Hello?"  
  
There was a pause as Collins listened to the other end of the line. "Just a minute please." He moved the phone. "Mark, it's for you."  
  
"See I told you." Roger said as Cass shifted around on the couch and leaned against his shoulder a little.  
  
Collins walked the phone over to the bar for Mark. "Hello?" Silence. "Yes, this is Mark Cohen." Everyone was watching Mark as his face got a strange look and his eyes keep darting from the phone to Cass then to Roger then back to Cass. "Um, well, I, um, yeah, I did know someone named Cass once, but it was a long time ago."  
  
Cass just sighed and looked at the floor. She started to push herself up off the couch and Roger helped her.  
  
Mark was still talking. "But I um, haven't seen, I mean talked to, er heard from her in a long time. Like a real long time. It may not even be the same--."  
  
"It's okay Mark. Just let me talk to him." Cass said in an almost defeated sounding voice.  
  
"I'm Sorry Cass, I'm so sorry. I tried but I really fucked up didn't I?" Mark looked as if he were about to burst into tears.  
  
"It's okay sweetie, it's not your fault."  
  
"I'm so sorry Cass."  
  
She kissed him on the cheek, took a deep breath and looked at the phone on the counter. Cass reached for a cigarette and lit it. As she took a long drag on the cigarette, she picked up the phone receiver and put it to her ear. 


	6. 6

CHAPTER SIX  
  
  
  
They all sat there in silence. Watching. Listening. Waiting to see what would happen. Mark was standing next to Cass at the counter. Roger had turned around and was kneeling on the couch facing Cass. Watching every move she made. Never taking his eyes off of her as she started to speak.  
  
"How did you find me?"  
  
"So you know I flew to New York. What did you do, ransack my office looking for the name and number of every body I knew here?"  
  
"Yes, I'm fine." She said in an icy cool voice.  
  
"No, I'm fine." She took a drag on the cigarette.  
  
"I said I'm fine!" She was almost yelling into the phone.  
  
"I'm not yelling and there is nothing for you to be concerned about. I am fine!"  
  
"I'm sure Andre did call you. I bet it was right after he called Andre! Afraid Andre would have to get him out of trouble again."  
  
"No I'm not going back to Italy." Cass said as she took another long drag on the cigarette.  
  
"No I'm not coming back to LA either."  
  
"Because I don't want to!" Now she was yelling. "Because he lives in both the fucking houses Carlton! I don't care if I ever go back to either of them again. There is no fucking way I'm ever going anywhere near that fucking bastard again! And you can tell Andre that. And that bitch Gigi!  
  
"No I do not want you to come here." She had quieted back down some. "Because there is nothing for you to do here." She crushed out her cigarette.  
  
"I don't want to discuss it Carlton." She started playing with the empty coffee cup Mark had sat down when he had picked up the phone earlier.  
  
"I don't care what Andre wants!" She yelled again.  
  
"No! I can't believe you asked me that! I promised I wouldn't do that again and I haven't. You know that! How can you ask me that?"  
  
"Oh he told him that did he? And of course you fucking believed him! Well he's the one who should have been sent to fucking rehab! Not me! I haven't done anything since I got out and promised you I wouldn't! That bastard has been messed up for I don't know how long!"  
  
"I told you I don't care what Andre wants! I'm never going anywhere near him again!"  
  
"No! Don't do that!"  
  
"I'm serious Carlton! Don't come to New York! I won't leave with you!"  
  
"I told you I don't care what he wants! Damn it, he's not my fucking father, you are. Try acting like it!"  
  
"I don't care."  
  
"I told you I'm staying and I'm fine."  
  
"Fine. I will tell him that. You just keep that little bastard away from me. And Andre too."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Yes. I'm fine. Really."  
  
"Okay. Goodbye."  
  
She hung up the phone and just stood there for a second, just looking down at the counter, with her hand on the empty coffee cup. The only sound in the room was the noise from the street coming up through the open windows. There was only silence from the seven other people in the room. None of them said anything. None of them moved. They hardly even breathed. All of them were just waiting. Waiting to see what Cass would do next. What they should do next.  
  
Just then Cass yelled "Fuck!" and the empty coffee cup went flying across the room and smashed into the wall. All of them jumped as the coffee cup crashed. Cass just turned and stormed into Mark's room, slamming the door so hard, that even though you usually have to push it at the bottom with your foot, it closed on it's own this time.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Cass!" Roger called after her as he hoped over the back of the couch and followed her.  
  
Mark was still standing there. His feet frozen to that spot. He didn't know what to say, what to do, what to think.  
  
Jen was looking at the bedroom door. "Maybe we should-."  
  
"Go." Jason cut her off. "Maybe we should go"  
  
"No I was going to say--" she started again, not getting the hint.  
  
"You were going to say go!" He cut her off again and pointed her towards the door.  
  
"Uh, yeah, go I guess." She finally said.  
  
"Mark are you okay?" Collins asked. Mark still had an odd look on his face, and had gone quite pale, even for Mark.  
  
"Um, yeah, I guess. I don't know. I don't know what to do."  
  
"Just talk to her." Maureen said, looking quite concerned.  
  
"Yes, but she may really need to talk to someone else eventually." Joanne said, in a quiet voice, alluding to the suspicions she had formed. "Someone more professional. Experienced to deal with, um, stuff like this. Let me make a few calls. Okay?"  
  
"Yeah, thanks."  
  
"Listen Mark, I'm right down stairs if you need anything. Okay?" Jen told him.  
  
"Yeah, us too. Just call if you need anything or whatever. We can be here in minutes. At least I can." Maureen continued. "Even if Joanne's at work. Day or night. It's not like I have any real pressing engagements or anything."  
  
"Um, okay. Thanks guys. I'll let you know." Mark answered.  
  
"Look Mark," Collins started in his usual quiet calming voice. "I don't really know what to tell you. I think Joanne's right though. I don't know what else to do right now either though. Except we can still go get her luggage from JFK. I mean Roger probably better stay here with you. But Jason and I will still go."  
  
"Yeah, great, I guess. Yeah Roger and Cass seem to have sort of hit it off. So yeah, he better stay here. He seems to have more of a clear idea what to do then I do right now anyway."  
  
"I have a feeling those two may find they have a lot in common. But I think they may be good for each other. I mean he was the one that brought up going after her luggage in the first place." Collin smiled at Mark. That warm, comforting Collins smile.  
  
"Yeah, how about that?" That was all Mark could say at that moment. He got the locker keys for Cass' luggage and gave them to Collins along with $20 train fair. All the while he kept thinking how Cass had only been here about 24 hours. In 24 hours, so much had happened. So many things had been said, thought and realized. So many good things. But Mark knew in the back of his mind there was a lot of bad things as well. All in only 24 hours. One day really. Mimi had always said there was "no day like today." Well Mimi, Mark thought, you were certainly right on that. He could certainly never imagine having another day like today.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Cass." Roger said as he opened the bedroom door. She was starting to dig through Mark's clean laundry on the floor. That lasted a few seconds, maybe a minute before she hopped up and started pulling draws open and digging around in the dresser that was still in the room. "Cass." He said softly. Roger could see she was shaking. Her whole body was trembling. At first he wasn't sure if it was fear or anger or both. He walked up to her and grabbed her by her upper arms, firmly, but being careful as not to hurt her. He just sort of stopped her in her tracks from moving around and softly said "Cass stop." He could feel her body trembling under his fingers. He pulled her in close and hugged her. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay."  
  
Roger heard the front door close and Mark come into the room a second later. Roger was still hugging Cass. Who was till shaking and just standing there. She wasn't moving. She wasn't hugging him back. Nothing just sort of standing there, trembling. Her eyes never raised higher than Roger's shoulders. "It's okay Cass. It's gonna be okay." He told her again.  
  
Mark was losing color in his face with every passing second. He had never seen Cass like this. He'd never really seen anyone like this before. He walked up behind her, put his hand on her back and stood in front of her face. Looking directly in her downward turned eyes. "Cass what do you want to do? What do you want us to do? What can we do to help?" Mark was quiet and soft as he spoke.  
  
"I just, I just want to take a shower right now. Okay?"  
  
"Sure. Whatever you want." Roger said letting her go.  
  
"Yeah. Whatever you want." 


	7. 7

A/N Thanks to everyone who has written reviews so far. I actually wrote most of this the end of last summer into the fall. I should have stared typing it during the time I was home before my son was born, because doing it now, while it is a little "me time," is hard to do with a five week old. Currently I type in twenty minute intervals or so! Anyway, I hope you like it. It was fun to write. Please keep reviewing,  
  
CHAPTER 7  
  
  
  
Roger and Mark were sitting on the living room floor outside of the bathroom door. They could hear the shower running inside. Both of them were looking straight ahead or at the floor or the ceiling. Anywhere but at each other. "Do you realize she only got here about 24 hours ago?" Mark asked.  
  
"I know."  
  
"Do you have any idea how much has gone on in 24 hours?"  
  
"I know."  
  
"I mean, you and me. And me and her. And you and her. And her and them," Mark gestured his head toward the front door their friends had left through. "And me and them. Even you and them. And her and, and him." The last word sort of hung in the air.  
  
"I know." Was all Roger could say again, but he had been thinking the same thing. "You know, in 24 hours I haven't seen that stupid camera of yours either."  
  
"Yeah well, since seeing Cass sitting in that chair yesterday, for once, I felt like there wasn't anything I wanted to preserve on film forever." Mark said softly. "You know?"  
  
"I know."  
  
They sat there on the floor in silence for a few more minutes. The silence was broken by the alarms on both Roger and Mark's watches going off at the same time. They both hit buttons on their watches to silence them and sat there for a second. "Go take your--"  
  
"I know." Roger cut him off. He sat there for another second, then got up off the floor and walked to the kitchen. Mark could hear him turn on the water and fill a glass. He could hear the drawer Roger's pills were in open and then shut. A second later Roger came back to his spot just outside the bathroom door and sat back down on the floor.  
  
Their eyes never met. They both keep looking straight ahead. "Mark." Roger said softly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Your welcome."  
  
They sat like that for a few more minutes. Finally Mark spoke. "How long has she been in there?"  
  
Roger looked at his watch, but still not at Mark. "At least twenty minutes. Maybe twenty five."  
  
"There's no way she has any hot water left. Not in this building. Even if we were the only people in this entire place to use any water at all today, there would still be no way she could have any hot water left. Right?"  
  
"Probably. We should probably get her out." Roger reached over and knocked on the bathroom door hard. "Cass." Nothing. The shower was still running. He knocked again, louder. "Cass." Still nothing.  
  
Neither of them moved from the floor. They still hadn't looked at each other. Roger knew what Mark was thinking. And Mark knew what Roger was thinking. That's why they still both sat there another minute. Thinking about the last time a distraught girl had locked herself in the bathroom of their apartment. How Roger had come home to find Mark yelling at a bathroom door to hurry up. That there were other people who lived here too. Other people with places to go and things to do. That he knew what she was doing and she could have just as easily done that in the bedroom. That she had been in there forever. How after a few more minutes with no answer from inside, Roger had kicked the door open. Ripping the lock out of the wall.  
  
Mark wasn't surprised at how they found her. Leaning against the wall. Her left hand lying on the floor of the shower stall. But he was expecting a needle in her arm. They both were. And no blood. But there was blood. A lot of blood. All on the shower floor. And the yellow post it, with those three words written on it. Stuck to the bathroom mirror.  
  
Once again, Mark was getting paler by the moment, but turning a sick shade of green at the same time. "Oh God." He said, barely audible as he stood up. He reached for the doorknob, but not quite far enough. He just stood there for a second.  
  
Roger stood up too. He looked at Mark. Saw his face. The fear and terror and pain in his eyes. He knew his own face probably said the same thing. "I'll go." He said so quietly Mark almost couldn't hear him. "I owe you that at least."  
  
Roger stepped forward and grabbed the doorknob. Since it no longer had a lock, when he turned it, it opened easily. He stepped into the bathroom. "Cass? Cass you gotta get out. There's no way you've got any hot water left. Turn off the shower and get out. Okay?"  
  
Mark couldn't hear Cass, but he did hear the water turn off. "Okay. We're right out side if you need anything." With that Roger came back out of the bathroom. "She said she would be right out." He told Mark, who at least had some color coming back into his face now.  
  
After a few more minutes, the door opened and Cass stepped out. She had on a pair of boxer and a tee shirt with a light towel wrapped around her wet hair. "Sorry" was all she said, very quietly. Making sure not to make eye contact with either of them.  
  
"It's alright. Are you okay?" Mark asked as he went to put an arm around her to give her a hug. "Jesus Cass you're freezing! How long were you in that cold water anyway? I mean, I think your lips are almost blue!"  
  
"I, I don't know. I guess I ran out of hot water. Sorry."  
  
"It's okay." Roger said as he sat her on the couch. "Let's just warm you up a little right now. Okay? Before you get hypothermia in September."  
  
Cass just sat there as Mark got her a blanket and put it over her. They were sitting on either side of her, and Mark was rubbing her left hand, trying to warm her up. "I'm sorry." She finally said.  
  
"For what? Using up our hot water? That happens every time anyone takes a shower. You'll just have to learn to take quicker showers." Roger smiled at her. "Otherwise you'll freeze to death staying here."  
  
Cass got a faint smile on her face as she looked up at Roger. But when she turned towards Roger, she was facing away from Mark, who all of a sudden jumped up.  
  
"Oh my God Cass! Your heads bleeding!"  
  
"What? Oh shit. I'm sorry. I must have pulled out a stitch or something. I'm sorry."  
  
"You've got stitches in your head too?" Mark asked, wide eyed.  
  
"Well, I fell into the mirror on the wall and well, I'm sorry." She said again as she unwrapped the towel from her long brown hair.  
  
"It's okay." Roger said standing up to look at her head. "Just stop saying 'I'm sorry.' Okay? Please?" He carefully moved her hair around he found the stitches. "Here they are. Yeah, it looks like you caught a stitch and pulled it all right. Probably when you were washing your hair. Don't worry, I can fix it."  
  
Mark stood up, took one look at the top of Cass' head, went pale again and sat back down. Roger sort of laughed at him. Any other time he would have found that really funny, but right now he was mainly trying to make Cass laugh. He was holding the towel to Cass' head to try to stop the bleeding. "Mark doesn't do real well with blood. We all know, when he sells out and makes it big and famous as a big time Hollywood type movie maker, it won't be for making horror films!"  
  
Mark sort of laughed, but still had a serious look on his face. "How are you going to fix that? You don't even know how to sew buttons back on things."  
  
"I do know how to sew buttons back on stuff, I just choose not to." He saw Cass get the slightest of grins on her face. Good, better than nothing. "But it doesn't matter. She doesn't need stitches again, just to close up the spot where the stitch was. Go get me the superglue from your drawer."  
  
Mark got up and headed towards the bedroom he had converted into an office, but was definitely hesitant about the whole thing. "You're going to super glue her head? Are you sure that's a good idea? Maybe we should just take her back to the ER and have them fix it."  
  
"Trust me." Roger shook his head. "The last thing Cass wants to do is sit for eight hours at a New York emergency room to get one lousy stitch put in her head. Trust me. I know what I'm doing." He picked the towel up to check to see if it was still bleeding and put it back down again and gently pushed on it.  
  
Cass was just sitting there, listening to them. Sort of. Sort of just starting straight ahead. Roger figured he better get her back into the conversation. He didn't know what else to do, so he started picking on Mark. He knew Mark would either figure out what he was doing, or understand later when he apologized.  
  
"See what Marky over there doesn't realize," he started again, "was that I've had my head glued back together a bunch of times. Which actually probably explains a lot, but anyway. See Mark's only got his two sisters, Cindy and Molly. But I've got two brothers."  
  
Mark was looking at Roger like he was crazy. What the hell was he doing? Giving her a family history and then gluing all this newfound Davis family knowledge into her head? Well, he didn't really know what else to do, so all he could do at this point was trust Roger. He seemed to be doing okay, even if Mark thought the whole thing was strange.  
  
"See Cindy's like what, three years older than Mark. And sure they fought, but not really fight, fight. And Molly's like ten years younger than us, so it wasn't like he ever really got into it with her.  
  
"Well, my brothers and me, we fought. Like with fists and bats and hard stuff. But that's what brothers do. That and just do stupid stuff. Like jumping off garages and stuff. Well, stuff like that gets you messed up. Well, my aunt's an ER nurse. And my mom's a regular nurse. Well, she wasn't gonna waste her time taking three stupid boys to the ER every other weekend. Unless they couldn't patch us up themselves, it was kitchen table medicine."  
  
Roger lifted the towel again. He parted her hair away from the cut. He held out his hand to Mark for the glue. Roger was still talking to Cass, he wasn't sure she was actually listening to him, but was pretty sure she at least heard him talking.  
  
Mark handed him the glue. Roger, still holding her hair away from the open cut, opened the glue top with his teeth. He spit the top to the ground. "Okay, this might sting for a second, then it will dry and be fine. We just got to remember to not let you pick at it. It feels weird like when you go to brush your hair. Having this dried up glue glob on your scalp. The trick is to not get it in your hair. Mickey moved once just as my mom squirted it out and got glue all over in his hair. She had to cut it out. Luckily he already had a buzz so it only took a few weeks for the bald patches to grow in."  
  
Roger put a few drops of glue at the opening in her stitches. Actually it was more like three or four of the about twelve stitches in the two cuts she had yanked out, but he wasn't going to bring that up. He was being very careful to not hit her hair. He knew how girls were about their hair. And Cass had great hair. He was also very careful to not get it on his fingers. The last thing he needed to do would be glue himself to her head. That wouldn't help any right now.  
  
When the glue hit the open cut, Cass made a "sss" sound and flinched, but only in the slightest. Good Roger thought. But he kept talking, trying to keep her with them. "So like I said, Davis boys got kitchen table medicine.  
  
"Not like Marky. His mother never let him do anything fun when we were little. She called it dangerous. Nope he got to play with his big sister. And you should have seen it. She used to dress him up and put those little girly things in his hair. What do you call them, barrettes? Yeah, that's it. I've seen pictures. They had tea parties, complete with dolls. She had this playhouse in the backyard and all. All pink and frilly and stuff." He blew on the glue to dry it some more. "I tell you, after a childhood like that, it was amazing Marky here made it out alive, much less straight!" He laughed.  
  
Mark was looking at Roger like he was crazy. What was he talking about? Mark didn't even know Roger when they were as young as he's talking. Tea parties? Dress up? Pictures? None of that ever happened. Mark remembered Roger getting fixed up by his mom and aunt, true, but it was after a fight. Or a run in with his father. Mark was almost about to say something to Roger when Roger looked up from Cass for the first time since he started this whole strange thing. Roger had a weird, nervous look on his face. Almost pleading with him. Then he started shaking his head up and down like to say "hurry up and help me here you idiot."  
  
"Um, yeah well, I guess I was saved by all the great role modeling you did for me." Was the best he could think off. Mark saw Cass' eyes look over at him, even if only for a few seconds. But he did see her almost, even if it was oh so slight, almost grin. Like she was maybe, somewhere, deep down inside, just maybe starting to laugh at what Roger had been saying.  
  
Roger blew on the glue again. He very lightly tapped it to make sure it was completely dry before he let go of her hair. "There. See that's not so bad right? And Mark worries I fried all my brain cells. He's the one that gets squeamish at the sight of blood. Anyone's, including his. He cut his finger one day, on a bagel, which by the way is like the number one reason New Yorkers visit the ER on a Saturday or Sunday morning. I thought he was gonna pass out. And we of course didn't have any Band-Aids. I stuck a napkin from the pizza place over it. Covered it with plastic wrap, and taped it all up with some gaffer's tape he had from a shot he worked on. And see, he's still got all ten fingers, and is doing fine."  
  
Mark held up both hands and wiggled his fingers at her to drive the point home. Mark realized she had a faint smile on her face. Roger was grinning like an idiot at the sight of that too. Mark made himself smile too, in a big way, but he wasn't feeling very happy yet.  
  
Roger sat back down on the couch next to her. He picked up her hand and felt it. It was still pretty cold. "Are you any warmer yet?"  
  
"A little I guess."  
  
"Do you want some coffee or something?" Mark asked. "Or some tea?"  
  
"No." She was sitting in the middle of the couch. She had her bare feet up on the couch, with her knees bent in front of her. Her left arm was wrapped around her legs. Her right arm with the cast was sort of doing the same thing, but not quite.  
  
Mark could see little drops of water running out of her gray cast. He thought it was a fiberglass cast, not plaster like the old white ones from when they were kids. That would mean it was water resistant, but he still didn't think that meant you were supposed to stand in a freezing cold shower for thirty minutes and let water run inside of it. How does some thing like that dry? Mark shook his head as if to clear it. He realized that wasn't a top priority right now.  
  
"Cass? What do you want to do now?" Mark very softly asked.  
  
"I need to change the tape on my ribs. It's all peeling off and it itches." She said very matter of factly, still looking directly at her knees.  
  
"Um, yeah, that's a good idea." Mark said. "I'll help you. Actually Roger may have a better clue as to what to do with that, seeing as he's had busted ribs before."  
  
Cass was still looking at her knees. She had been doing really well up to that phone call. Now she was like traumatized or something. All Roger could figure was she had sort of pushed the last few days out of her brain.  
  
Pretend it's not there. Don't think about it. It may all go away then. Roger knew this routine well. Keep as much out of your brain as possible. Blank, dark space. Zone it out and time will pass. Roger knew this was it. Like he had told himself before, as close as you can get to being totally fucked up without shooting up.  
  
That must have been it. Come to think of it, most of the stuff Cass had talked about, with the exception of the story about her mother, had been either good stuff, or it had been from awhile ago. Like stuff with Mark. Either way, it was from way before these past few days.  
  
Roger also knew that when the brain fog wears off, and the thoughts and problems of the present came rushing back at you, it really smarts. It's like going through a form of dead brain zone withdrawal. And it, like anything else, when your coming off it, hits you like a brick wall. And that was what happened. That phone call was what did it. It sent that brick wall flying at her at top speed, and it hit her, hard. And just by the looks of her, Roger knew she had been hit by enough lately. Whether it was a symbolic brick wall, or some bastard guy in Italy.  
  
"Yeah, I can re tape them for you. No problem." Roger said snapping himself out of the thoughts and back to the conversation at hand. But wait. Some bastard guy in Italy. Maybe him putting his hands all over her ribs wasn't the best idea. "Um, unless you don't want that. I mean I would totally understand. We could call Jen and she'd come right up and do it right now. She's a great girl. And she's straight and all. I mean, she's really nice." Roger felt like he was digging a hole and the more he talked the deeper it got. And Mark wasn't helping. He was just nodding his head in agreement to everything Roger said about Jen.  
  
"No." She said quietly. "I just want to get the old stuff off me and re tape it. You'll do it for me?" She asked, actually looking right at Roger.  
  
"Sure. No problem. Whatever you want. You need anything else?" Roger asked her.  
  
"I've got to do something about my stuff. I have to get my glasses if nothing else. I can't stand not being able to see. It's freaking me out even worse."  
  
"Collins and Jason already left for the airport." Mark said. "I gave them the locker key you gave me before. That was about an hour ago. It will probably take an hour or so each way. Plus finding the locker at he airport. And then back here. Give them about another two hours, maybe a little more this being a holiday weekend and all, and we'll find your glasses. Anything else?"  
  
"Yes, one more thing." She sighed. "And I need you to do this Mark, because she'll know who you are. I need you to call my friend Giavanna, in Italy. When whoever answers, ask for Giavanna DiMarco. Just keep saying it. They will either find her, or find someone who knows English to talk to you. If it's not her, tell them they need to find her and that you'll call back in one hour from America. They'll get her and she'll be waiting for you.  
  
"Just make sure it's her. Nobody else needs to know where I am. She knows who you are. Just tell her I got here yesterday and I'm fine and will call her in a few days. And then give her your address to send my stuff to. Okay?"  
  
"Sure Cass, whatever you want."  
  
"And Mark," Cass said looking at him with eyes that were so serious they almost scared him. "Tell her to be careful. Very careful. And to stay the fuck away from him."  
  
Mark nodded hid head and got a pen and paper for Cass to write down the phone number to reach Giavanna. As Mark started to dial, Roger helped Cass off the couch and they walked into the bathroom.  
  
Roger turned on the bathroom light as they walked into the room. Cass picked up the hair scrunchie she had left on the sink before and pulled her hair into a loose ponytail. She sat down on the toilet seat until he was ready. Roger started ripping off long strips of the two-inch tape and sticking them to the side of the sink. "Okay, are you ready?" He asked her. She nodded and stood up.  
  
He knew she had on a white sports bra under his tee shirt, along with a pair of boxers, slung low across her hips. But when she turned to take off the shirt he saw her back for the first time. He tried to put the thoughts that came rushing in out of his mind. "Well the good news is that your extended shower before loosened up all the tape so it should come off real easy. Especially because they put pretape down first and that's meant to lift off real easy. The bad news is we don't have any pre tape, so next time it won't come off as easy. Maybe we can get some alcohol or something that will help then.  
  
"How long did they say you had to leave them taped up?"  
  
"I don't know. A week or two, I guess. The broken one wasn't broken that bad, it was more like a bad crack. Whatever that means."  
  
"Well maybe instead of taping them, we can just wrap them. With Ace bandages. That's what I got one time. Then you don't have to worry about the tape or getting it wet when you take a shower."  
  
"Okay" was all she said.  
  
"Yeah, right. Speaking of getting things wet, were you supposed to get your cast wet?"  
  
"I don't know. I guess not." She shrugged. "I don't know."  
  
"Well let's get the tape off of you and let you dry out a little. I'll look for my old ace bandages, but I may have to run out and get some because that was a long time ago. As for your cast, well, let's see if it dries, or at least stops dripping water out off it and see what happens. You may need to go to a doctor and get a new one. Till we find out, why don't we put a bag over it while you take a shower next time. Okay?"  
  
"Uh huh." She was sitting on the edge of the sink, facing Roger and the shower, facing away from the mirror. Roger carefully started to remove the tape from around her ribs. He had seen her face. He had seen the bruises on her neck and the backs of her arms. He had even seen her back briefly. But as he started to uncover her from tall the tape, he really saw her. Really saw her for the first time.  
  
All the thought that he had started forming in his mind before came rushing back at him. All the connections he knew he could make just by looking at the bruises on her body. He could almost tell the story of what happened to her by her bruises. He knew what caused certain bruises. He knew and didn't like knowing. He knew partially because it was common senses. It a takes a right handed hit to leave a bruise on the left side of someone's face. And partially because he had seen some of it done. Seen it done, and then saw the bruises the next day. On his mother. Bruises like four little circle ones in a row with a fifth on the other side of a bicep. That took squeezing and shaking. Or around her neck. That took choking.  
  
The ones on her back, well a lot of them were from something hitting her across her back. But the ones that ran along her shoulder blades, the big almost triangular matching ones, those came from being slammed into a wall.  
  
And then there were the ones on her things. The outside of her thighs had some smaller ones. Like from maybe falling into furniture. But the larger ones along the outside of her thighs, were bigger, and sort of round. Yeah, it could have been a fist, but that would be pretty low to hit at. Most likely it was from a kick while she was on the ground. She had said something about hiking boots when she first got here. That must have been what did those on her thigh.  
  
As well as her chest and ribs. Due to the cracked ribs, her side was extremely bruised. As Roger took the tape off, he saw there was no way to really know how many bruises there actually were on her chest, ribs, stomach and hips, because it was more like one giant bruise rather than separate ones.  
  
As he leaned over more to get the lower tape, he saw the inner part of her things. The bruises were on both of her legs and started about two inches or so above her knees and went up till they disappeared under the lower edge of the boxers she was wearing. Those were the ones that turned Roger's stomach. More so than the damage to her face or anything else.  
  
Roger knew that there wasn't much that you could use to bruise someone like that. Because of where he was talking about and the angle it would take. Pretty much straight on from the side. The inside. The space between her thighs. Not much could do that, except maybe another leg. Or especially a knee. A knee trying to force Cass' legs open. He tried to get the image of that out of his mind, but it wasn't working. Roger also knew it would take a number of hits to bruise her thighs like that. Either him pushing her with his knees, or her fighting like hell to get away and him trying to keep her still.  
  
Roger prayed it was the second one. He knew it had to be. Cass was a fighter. He could tell that the minute he met her. When he yelled at her at the front door, and she never batted an eye. She just told him what she wanted. Or when she laid into him about Mark. She had no hesitation then either. Even when she apologized to him later. He told her that she was right about the whole thing. All she said was she knew she was right, she just shouldn't have told him that right then. Yeah, he thought, Cass was a fighter all right. Roger would have loved to have seen what that bastard looked like after it was over. He knew she had put up one hell of a fight. He couldn't have looked all that great either.  
  
"I want to see it." The sound of Cass' voice broke into his thoughts. That's when he realized he had been standing there for a minute or two, just starring at her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said I want to see it. Or them, the bruises. Me. I want to see me. I haven't really looked in a mirror yet. I want to see what I look like."  
  
Roger didn't know what to say. If he could barely look at them, how was she going to? "Cass are you sure? I mean, they're just bruises. They'll be gone in a few days. I mean you saw your face. It's already looking better. It's just more of the same."  
  
"No." She said very quietly. "I haven't seen my face. I haven't looked. I was afraid to."  
  
"Are you sure?" He was right next to her now, almost whispering into her ear. At that she turned around and leaned into the bathroom mirror. She just stared for a second, not saying anything. She backed up a little so she could see her ribs and stomach. She turned to see her back and the backside of her upper arms. She looked down at her thighs. Tipping her head first one way to the outside, then the other to see her inner thighs. With her good hand she pushed the edge of her boxers up higher on her thigh to see how far up the bruises went.  
  
After a minute or so, she reached over and picked up her tee shirt. When she picked up her head, Roger saw the tears rolling down her cheeks. She put her casted arm through the shirt and lifted it and her other arm up to pull it over her head. Roger took it and did it for her so she wouldn't have to move as much.  
  
"Thanks. Will you see about those bandages for my ribs now? If you need to buy more Mark knows where my wallet is."  
  
"Okay." Roger was very quiet again. "Cass, are you okay?" He asked as he wiped a tear off of her good cheek.  
  
"I'm," she took a breath. "I'm," he was sure she was going to say fine, but he knew she was anything but fine. "I'm, I don't know." And she rested her head on his shoulder as he pulled her in close and hugged her. This time she did hug him back. Roger got the feeling if Mark hadn't knocked on the bathroom door to see if they needed anything, they may have just stayed there, together. Safe in that little room from the outside world. Forever.  
  
  
  
  
  
Cass was sitting on the couch with her feet tucked under her and the blanket over her lap. Roger was in the kitchen getting her something to drink and Mark was sitting next to her, relaying his phone conversation.  
  
"Well I spoke to Giavanna. She must have been there when I called. She's real worried about you. Said she couldn't believe she let you get on a plane alone, after you just walked out of the hospital. She said they wanted to keep you there a few more days.  
  
"Now, about your stuff, she said she didn't know about your glasses. She thinks she sent them with you in your suitcase, but she's not sure. So hopefully when Collins gets here, we'll find them. But," he took a deep breath, "about your stuff.  
  
"Apparently, she did the best she could that night to get you some important stuff, which is in your suitcase. She said she wasn't exactly sure what she sent you because she was hurrying and upset and all. She said your place was pretty messed up.  
  
"After you left the hospital, and were at the airport, she went back to your place. She said to tell you not to worry because she took one of the dock guys with her."  
  
Roger had come back from the kitchen and handed a cup of tea to Cass. She took it, but just held it. She was looking at Mark, listening to him, but her eyes never went higher then his shoulders. Roger could tell Mark was building up to something. Whatever it was, he didn't want to tell her. Roger went back into the kitchen and came back a minute later and handed Mark a cup of tea too.  
  
"Thanks." Mark said as he took a sip of the tea. His mouth was going bone dry on him as he tried to talk. "Well, she went back, with this guy, to pack up the rest of your stuff. Well, your place was, well, trashed then. Really trashed. She said he must have come back at some point and just destroyed your place."  
  
Cass' eyes moved from Mark to the cup of tea in her hands. Mark was getting quieter as he spoke. As if something worse could happen if he said the next part too loud. "She said he trashed just about everything you had. Your clothes, your stuff, everything. She boxed up everything she could save. Somethings she had to toss though, they were too messed up. Something about red wine and paint at your place." Cass just nodded, so she must understand what Mark was talking about. "Well I guess he dumped that on a bunch of your clothes. And she said he did the same thing with just about any shampoo or suntan lotion or stuff like that. It got dumped on your stuff and all over the walls and stuff. She said some stuff like that she got cleaned up, but there was other stuff, like clothes and books and papers that got ripped up and destroyed.  
  
Mark was watching Cass, trying to read what was going on in her mind. He wasn't getting anything though. So he continued. So she boxed up everything she could save. She said she would ship it out tomorrow."  
  
Mark paused to take another sip of his tea. It wasn't helping. It was only wetting down the chalky feeling in his mouth and then making it worse as soon as it dried up again. "Well, so tomorrow she'll send it all out. She said it should only take about five days at the most, so that should be Friday. Oh wait, tomorrow's Labor Day. She won't be able to send it then till Tuesday."  
  
"I don't think there is a Labor Day in Italy Mark." Roger quietly corrected him.  
  
"Oh, yeah, that's right. So then Friday I guess. It should get here, we'll see what you need, and then we'll just go shopping if we have to. Right?"  
  
Cass was still starring at her untouched tea. At least it would help warm her hands up, which were still cold from the shower Roger thought.  
  
"Right. So." Mark continued. "She also said to tell you that he's gone. No one's seen him since then. But she said not to worry about it. She said that when he took off, he didn't take his passport, which had been locked in the office. So without it he can't leave Italy."  
  
"Where is his passport now?" Cass asked, without looking up from her tea.  
  
"She said Andre has it. That he got there a few hours after you left the hospital. And that she's supposed to call him if she hears from you. But since she didn't talk to you, just to me, she hasn't heard from you yet."  
  
"Good" was all Cass said. Roger had found the two Ace bandages for her ribs and was waiting to wrap her up. He helped her get her get her shirt off and got her to sit up real straight and very carefully started to wrap her ribs back up tight. After he taped the ends of the bandages down he asked her how it felt.  
  
"It's fine. It's better than the tape."  
  
"Do you want something to eat Cass?" Mark asked.  
  
"No. I don't want anything right now. Just some more Tylenol. Like four of them."  
  
Mark got her the pills and some water. She swallowed them and leaned back on the couch.  
  
"Can we just watch TV?" She asked Mark and Roger  
  
"Sure. Whatever you want Cass." Mark told her.  
  
Roger sat down on the couch next to her, with Mark on her other side. "Luckily we now even have cable. Thanks to Mark's many talents and years of splicing the cables on Maureen's broken down, cheap equipment."  
  
"What he means is," Mark explained, "that Jen has cable and I spliced a line up here for us. So we now have cable. Illegal cable, but cable none the less." He smiled at her.  
  
Cass managed a slight smile back at him. She leaned against Mark's shoulder and started watching the TV. Within twenty minutes she was completely asleep.  
  
Roger whispered to Mark "I'm gonna go take a shower."  
  
Mark nodded. "Undo the top lock so Collins can get in with his key in case they get here before your done."  
  
Roger undid the deadbolt so only the knob was locked. Twenty minutes later, he came out of the bathroom in a pair of boxers and a sleeveless tee shirt. Cass had slid down on Mark's chest some. Mark had his arm around her and had his head resting on the back of the couch with his eyes shut. Some old movie was playing on the TV.  
  
"Did she wake up at all?" Roger whispered when Mark opened his eyes.  
  
"No, just slid down a little. So what do we do now?" Mark whispered back.  
  
Roger just shrugged. Cass stirred a little, but didn't seem to wake up. Roger mouthed the words "I don't know. Wait I guess" to Mark who just shook his head. Roger sat on the other end of the couch. God he was tired. It was only going on like seven at night. He couldn't remember being this tired this early ever.  
  
He looked at Mark who looked exhausted. He had laid his head back down on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. Roger leaned against the back of the couch and started to watch the movie.  
  
Roger remembered thinking that this was a dumb movie, when he felt hands on his shoulders. He opened his eyes and saw Jason in front of him with one finger to his lips to tell him to keep quiet. Roger realized he had fallen asleep when he saw it had gotten dark outside. Actually they all had fallen asleep. Mark and Cass were still sleeping. He got up and walked to the kitchen where Collins had put down the suitcase.  
  
Collins motioned them into the hall where they could talk. "How did this afternoon go?"  
  
"Very strange. And draining. I don't remember the last time either of us fell asleep on the couch this early. Unless we never went to bed the night before. You get her stuff?"  
  
"Yes, her suitcase is just inside." Jason answered. "Is she okay?"  
  
"I don't know. No. Not really I guess. I mean she took like a thirty- minute shower. You know we had to have run out of hot water after like ten minutes. And she only got out because we told her too. It took forever to get her warmed up again.  
  
"She did have Mark call her friend in Italy. She's gonna send her the rest of her stuff. But I guess the guy that did that," he jerked his thumb over his shoulder, towards Cass in the apartment, "went back to her place there and trashed all her stuff. Ripped up a lot of her clothes I guess."  
  
"Has she said anything yet? Talked about it at all?" Collins asked.  
  
"No, not really. I took the tape off her ribs to re-tape them. Man is she a mess. That was the first time she had even really looked at herself in a mirror. Sort of freaked her out."  
  
"Well," Collins continued, "the reason it took us so long is because we made a stop first. We went by the Life Support office." Collins saw the storm clouds start to cross over Roger's eyes. He knew he wouldn't be happy about that, but they needed to find Cass some help. Collins was sure of that. He ignored the not so happy look on Roger's face and kept going. "We talked to Elizabeth. You remember her. Tall, pretty, brown hair in a bob, great smile. Well we told her what we knew so far. She gave me the phone number for the women' crisis center on 28th street. She said you really needed to get her to go there, but if she won't go there, to try to get her to Life Support at least and she would talk to her." Collins paused for a second. "Elizabeth suggested maybe she come with you to a few meetings and then she could talk to her then."  
  
"Yeah," Roger said, shaking his head up and down, "that's a good plan, we'll do that, right after, how 'bout never." And he gave Collins don't push it look for a second and then continued. "No seriously though, thanks you guys. I'll give Mark the phone number for the place on 28th. You know he's more of the 'group therapy' type than me. But thanks again. We'll call you tomorrow."  
  
They left and Roger went inside and closed and locked the door behind him. Just as he started to walk back into the living room, the alarm o his and Mark's watches went off again. Fuck! He punched at the button to silence it, but it didn't matter. Mark's had woken them both up.  
  
"Sorry." He told them. "It's just the alarm on my watch. Why don't you go lay down in the bedroom. It'll be a lot cooler in there."  
  
"Okay." Cass said as Mark helped her off the couch.  
  
"God I am so tired. Did Collins ever make it back yet? What time is it?" Mark looked at his watch, and realized he already knew what time it was by the alarm on his watch going off.  
  
"Yes. He and Jason just left. They got your suitcase Cass. It's right here. Do you want me to look for your glasses?"  
  
"No, it can wait till morning. I just want to go to sleep."  
  
"Okay. I'm gonna take a shower first. Are you going to bed?" Mark asked Roger.  
  
"Yeah, I'll be in just a few minutes. I got to finish up in here. Give me five minutes. Okay?"  
  
Mark nodded and walked Cass into the bedroom Roger took his pills out of the drawer. He realized he hadn't had anything to eat since the bagels around noon today. That was ten hours ago. If he took this dose now, that would be the second time today on an empty stomach and that would bake him nauseous all night. That was just what he needed. He put the unopened pill bottle back into the drawer an was starting to close it when Mark came out of the bedroom on his way to the shower.  
  
"Hey, when you go in will you take her four more Tylenol and some water? Thanks Rog." And he went into the bathroom.  
  
Roger got a glass and filled it with water. He poured four Tylenol into his hand. He was just starting to walk out of the kitchen when he heard Mark turn the shower on. He just looked at the bathroom door for a minute or so before turning back to the kitchen.  
  
He set the Tylenol down opened the drawer and took out his pills. He popped what he needed into his mouth and took a sip of Cass' water. He picked up the Tylenol and water in one hand. With the other he reached into the bagel bag from this morning. What seemed like so many hours ago. Before he ever touched it he knew the bagels would be stale and already getting hard. Yuck. Made probable 12 or 13 hours ago, sitting out in the heat and humidity. There is nothing better than New York bagels, however there is nothing worse than stale New York bagels. Well, he thought, maybe somethings are worse. And with that he bit into the bagel and started to walk to the bedroom to go to bed. 


	8. 8

CHAPTER 8  
  
  
  
Roger woke up first. Cass and Mark were still asleep in the other bed. He could hear Mark softly snoring. Roger always thought Mark looked like a little kid when he saw him sleeping. With his glasses off and his hair messed up and his eyes closed. Roger always thought he looked about 14 years old. But not this morning. Mark didn't have that little kid carefree look today. Roger had a feeling they had all aged big time this weekend.  
  
He was sitting up on the twin mattress, leaning against the wall. Roger watched Cass sleep for a few minutes. She looked so peaceful. Relaxed. Not all upset, or freaked out or even in pain from all that. She looked like, like Mimi he realized. Not really like Mimi, with her long dark curls and dark skin. And Mimi was shorter and built smaller than Cass. But right now, like when Mimi was asleep at the hospital. At the end. Thinking about that always made Roger feel like he had a rusty knife dragged across his heart.  
  
But that was it. Cass did sort of remind him of Mimi. Her strength and her spunk and that spark Mimi had. The electricity that she gave off to everyone around her. It was the same with Cass.  
  
In the end, at the hospital, Roger would just sit there, for hours, and watch Mimi sleep. She was beautiful, even sick, but especially when she was asleep. All the pain and problems of their worlds left her while she was asleep. That was the last way Roger ever saw her. Asleep. And beautiful. Kind of like Cass was now.  
  
Cass took a deep breath and stirred a little, but didn't wake up. Roger just sat there watching her for a number of minutes. He watched her breathing. And her eyelids twitch as she dreamed. Most of the swelling had left her face, and the darkness was slowly being replaced by greens and yellows. But she was still beautiful. Even if all he had ever seen was a picture of the beaten and bruised side of her face, he would still be able to tell she was beautiful.  
  
His eyes followed her, down her neck to her shoulders and along her arms. Her right arm in the cast rested on a pillow. As he followed it down to her fingers, he stopped for a moment, unsure of what he saw. On the dark pillowcase, just below her fingers was a darker, wet circle. Blood was the first thing Roger thought of, but then he remembered her shower yesterday. So it was water. The inside of her cast was still wet or damp at least.  
  
Roger kept looking at her. She had kicked the covers off of her legs. She had incredible legs. Long and tan and muscular without being big. Didn't Mark say she ran? He could just imagine her in a short black leather skirt with spiked heels.  
  
No, wait he thought. That was Mimi. Mimi was always leather and spikes. But the more Roger thought about it, he didn't see Cass that way. He wouldn't have mined it. He knew she would look hot as anything like that, but didn't see that as being Cass in his mind. She seemed so comfortable in his old overalls yesterday, or even in their boxers she had been wearing.  
  
Mimi always felt wrong when she wasn't done up. But that was just her, and he loved her for it. Mimi was definitely the sex kitten type. Not Cass though. He figured she had a simpler, more casual style. More denim and less leather. God, how Mimi had had a thing for leather! Roger smiled at the thought of Mimi in some of those outfits. Not even her work clothes, just her regular everyday clothes. He laughed silently to himself remembering Collins comment about the number of cows that sacrificed their lives for Mimi's wardrobe.  
  
Roger hadn't thought about Mimi for awhile. It was so much easier that way. But he realized not only was he sitting here thinking about her, and it being okay, he was almost happy about it. It was good stuff. Good memories that's what it was. That's why it's not as bad. But wait a minute. This whole trip down memory lane began because Cass reminded him of Mimi. Mimi in the hospital. That wasn't good, not at all. That was not only bad, that was the worst. The last thing he wanted to remember was Mimi dying. But he was. And his heart hadn't froze. His brain hadn't exploded.  
  
Life was going on and he was still here. He was still here. Without Mimi. But still here. Still here and able to think about Mimi. Still here and remembering Mimi. Actually comparing her to some other girl.  
  
To this girl. To this girl who knew Mimi. Who was friends with her. Who Mimi would have been the first to help. Who Mimi would have wanted him to help. Who Mimi would have wanted him to be friends with, to like. Who made him forget about hating the world. Who got him off the couch. Who got him to be more like Mimi's Roger. More like the Roger Mimi loved.  
  
The one thing Roger had wanted most in this life was to make Mimi happy. Apparently the thing that would have made Mimi the happiest would be Roger being happy. He knew she definitely would prefer him actually living out the rest of his life, not sitting on a couch, waiting to die. And he seemed to actually be doing that. Sort of.  
  
He actually volunteered to go to the airport. That was definitely out of the loft. Mark probably thought he didn't notice the surprised look on his face when he offered to do that. And yesterday he had actually been talking with all their friends. Hanging out, paying attention, talking and laughing with their friends. Yeah, Mimi would have really like that. Yesterday Roger was laughing with their friends. All their friends and Cass. Yesterday. Wow yesterday. A lot happened yesterday. A lot happened in the last 48 hours. A lot of bad stuff, but a lot of good stuff too.  
  
That's when Roger made a decision. Probably one of the biggest decisions he made in a long time. Things were happening fast around here. Real fast all of a sudden. Big stuff too. Stuff bigger than Mark could deal with, especially on his own. Way bigger than Cass wanted to deal with too. Yeah, things were happening real fast all of a sudden, and for a change, Roger was going to be part of it. Not sitting on a couch, watching Mark take care of it all, but actually being part of what's going on.  
  
He owed it to Mark at the very least, Roger knew that. And Roger was pretty sure Mark would take any help he got right now. And Cass. She was Mark's friend, that alone should be reason for him to get off his ass. But she was Mimi's friend too it turned out. And that was a definite reason. That should be the reason. And it was a big reason. A very big reason. It would be doing exactly what Mimi wanted. It would be what would have made Mimi the happiest. But Roger realized there was more. More than Mark. And he couldn't believe he was even thinking this, but, maybe even more than Mimi. There was Cass.  
  
That was it. Roger was going to start living his life again. He was gong to start being part of life again. That was what he wanted. He realized he had been sitting there, watching Cass and Mark sleep for a long time now. Quietly he got up off the twin bed. Mark started to move, and Roger was afraid he had woke him up. He watched as Mark rolled over closer to Cass. One arm went around her waist as he sort of buried his face in the back of her neck and all her hair. Roger couldn't help but almost laugh. Mark your too good he thought. Even in your sleep. Anybody else would have just thrown an arm over the girl next to them in their sleep. Not Mark. Roger watched him. Even in his sleep, Mark was so careful. So careful as to not hurt her. Not bump her bruised ribs. Only Mark.  
  
Roger carefully closed the bedroom door behind him. He walked into the living room. Damn, it was already getting hot out. He turned on the floor fan they had taken out of Mark's office yesterday and went into the kitchen. Coffee was a good place to start. He measured out enough water and coffee for a full pot and turned it on.  
  
Okay Davis, he thought, you make this big decision to do something, now what are you actually gonna do? He didn't know. Well, what would Mark do? Or Collins and Jason? Or Joanne? Or Maureen and Jen? No, scratch the last two. Not necessarily the best suited level headed, get involved in the right way type of role model he felt he should be following at the moment. He had to smile thought. He loved them both. He really did. Even if they were both major pains in the ass sometimes. Especially Maureen, but he did still love her. And she had gotten so much easier to deal with over the years. But she and Jen really were one and the same sometimes.  
  
Joanne and Mark, would probably anal retentively go through the whole series of events of this weekend and their lives in general and pull out everything that could or needed doing. Joanne would list it out and delegate it. Mark would try to remember it all and do it all himself.  
  
Now Collins, he'd hit the big issues and prioritize them into what needed to be done most, and what most likely he could actually do something about. Let's try that.  
  
Okay. Cass is going to have to talk to someone. That's for sure. Secondly, she's gonna need some clothes and stuff. Third, she probably needed to go to a doctor. To get her ribs checked and her stitches out. And her cast off eventually too. And her cast. They may need to do something about that too. If it's still wet, that can't be good.  
  
Well, of those the only one he could do anything about right now was the last one. He could find out what to do about her cast. All it would take would be one phone call. One little phone call and he'd know what they would need to do about her cast being wet.  
  
He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the counter in front of the phone. One phone call. She'd be up if she's home. If she wasn't at work. She'd tell him what to do. God, why should one stupid phone call be so hard.  
  
He picked up the receiver and then put it back down. Come on Davis, don't be a chicken shit. It's only a phone call. He took a sip of coffee and picked up the receiver and again. He dialed the number. He heard it ring once. Then twice. Oh, too bad, no one home. Well, he tried. He was about to hang up on the third ring when he heard her answer the phone.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hello?"  
  
He didn't know what to say.  
  
"Hello?" She said again.  
  
If you wait too long stupid she's gonna hang up. Do something he told himself. "Um, Mom?" He said quietly.  
  
"Mickey? What are you doing up this early? And on a holiday weekend? You better not be calling to ask me to come get you and your buddies from where ever you ended up last night. I've told you Mom's taxi service stopped when you reached 18!"  
  
Roger wasn't sure at first if she was mad or not, but when she said her old line about Mom's taxi service, he knew she was joking around.  
  
"No. Mom, it's not Mickey. It's me," he swallowed, "it's Roger."  
  
"Roger?" Her voice lost the joking edge it had and got suddenly serious. "Oh God! Are you all right? Is everything okay? Is Mark okay? Oh God, tell me your okay."  
  
"Mom, I'm fine. I'm fine. And Mark's fine too. I just, I just had a question, and I knew you could answer it."  
  
"But you're okay?" She asked anxiously.  
  
"Yes, I'm okay."  
  
"And you're still, you know?" She got quieter as she said that last part.  
  
"Clean?" He had a lump forming in his throat. "It's okay Mom, you can say it out loud, but yeah, I'm still clean."  
  
"Oh Roger." She sounded like she was starting to cry. "Oh God I've missed you. It's so good to hear your voice. I've missed you so much."  
  
"I missed you too Mom." The lump was growing. "But I need your help with something."  
  
"What?" The edge was back in her voice. He knew she heard all the old warning bells from the old days. "What do you need? I can't give you any money Roger. I'm sorry." She made a small sob noise. "You know I can't. I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay Mom." It was getting hard to talk over the Volkswagen size lump in his throat. "I don't need any money. It's okay, just don't start crying okay? Please? I don't need anything. I just need to ask you something. Okay?"  
  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to that. It's just, well you know. I'm sorry. What do you need honey? I'll tell you whatever I can. God I'm glad to talk to you."  
  
"Well, we, me and Mark, have this friend see, and well, well she has a broken arm."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Well she's got one of those gray fiber glass casts on. It starts at her fingers, cause a few of those had gotten broken to, and goes up to her elbow."  
  
"Uh huh." She was listening intently. Roger figured she was waiting on him to drop whatever 'it' was on her.  
  
"Well, because the outsides fiberglass water won't hurt that part right?"  
  
"That's right." She sounded a little confused.  
  
"Okay, but what about the inside? Is that waterproof too? The part next to her arm? What happens if that gets wet?"  
  
"Well, how wet sweetie?"  
  
"Real wet. She kinda," he started to say took a thirty minute shower with it on, but decided that opened up to many places for too many questions. Stuff he didn't want to get into with her. Like why some girl would stand in a shower for thirty minutes with a cast on. "She kinda got knocked into a pool yesterday by, by some idiot. Not me or Mark, just dome idiot at a party we were at."  
  
God! He was hating himself. Here he is speaking to her for the first time in a really long time and he was lying to her. Already. And what made it worse, it was still so easy! He hated himself for it, but it was better than explaining Cass he figured. A lesser of two evil things. "So yeah, real wet. Like water was dripping out of it last night. And it had a wet spot under both ends of it this morning on the pillowcase. That's not good is it?"  
  
"Well, no not really. You can try and dry it out. Use a hair dryer, but make sure it has a cool setting so you don't burn her arm. That may take a couple of hours, specially with it being this hot and humid out."  
  
"Use a hairdryer, on what the outside of it?" Now he was confused.  
  
"No sweetie." She laughed into the phone. "Take some rolled up gauze, wait you won't have that. Try some napkins or paper towel. Roll it up and wedge it between her arm and the cast. Not to far down, just enough to make a gap to let the air get inside. Okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I got it now. But how long does she need to leave it on?"  
  
"Well what did her doctor say?"  
  
"Well, it was sort of an ER thing, not around here, in another state, so she doesn't really have a doctor. Does she need to go back before it's supposed to come off? She thought he said six weeks, but not that long for her fingers."  
  
"She should see another doctor. An orthopedist or bone specialist if she could. Now because he didn't set it, or has the x-rays, he'll probably re- shoot them. But honey there's no way I can tell you how long she needs it. It depends on the break and how bad and things like that. I'm guessing she doesn't have insurance for a doctor."  
  
"Hence the free medical advise." He joked back at her, which surprisingly felt pretty good.  
  
"So I figured. If she can't get back to a doctor, I would definitely leave it on at least eight weeks. Better safe than sorry. But if you can't get it dried out, she's going to need to get a new one. Other wise it will rub and chafe and her arm can get really infected."  
  
"Got it. We'll figure something out. Thanks Mom."  
  
"That was it?" She was almost laughing. "I actually have you on the telephone, where you are actually talking to me, not making Mark tell me your not there, and you were even the one who called, and for that? That's all you needed?"  
  
"Yeah." He got quiet again. "I'm sorry."  
  
"No sweetie, it's okay." Now she was laughing as she talked. "I'm not mad. Actually, I'm thrilled you called. I was just expecting, I don't know, something a little bigger than that!"  
  
"Yeah," he started to laugh too. "I guess I can understand that."  
  
They talked for a few more minutes before her voice got serious again. "Roger, we were real sorry to hear about your girlfriend."  
  
That sort of stopped him in his tracks. He had no idea she knew anything at all about Mimi. What did she know about Mimi? What did she know about him? That lump in his throat returned real quick, and had doubled in size. He could barely get any words out at all. "How did you know about that?"  
  
"I'm sorry." She got real quiet. "Mickey found out. He went to some bar in the city; some band you had been in was playing there. He asked them about you and they said you hadn't played with them in awhile, but the one guy knew you and said you hadn't been around. That your girlfriend had just died. They said she OD. I'm real sorry Roger."  
  
But Mimi didn't OD. Mimi died in the hospital. But if she knew how Mimi died then she'd think. She'd know. Don't go down that road Roger. Let her just keep thinking what she thinks. It's better that way. "Thanks." Was all he could say and even that was barely above a whisper.  
  
"But you're okay right? Even though she OD you were still okay right?"  
  
"Yeah, I was okay. I'm still okay. Like I said, I'm clean and have been the whole time. No slip ups. I promise."  
  
"Oh thank God. I mean I feel horrible about your girlfriend and all Roger, but I was really worried about you. It had been so long since anyone heard from you."  
  
"Yeah, I understand." It was all he could say. And he actually did understand how and why she would think that way.  
  
They talked for a few more minutes before Roger hear Mark talking in the bedroom. He told her he had to get going. She asked him if she could call the loft once in a while and he said yes. She made him promise to call her again, soon.  
  
"I'm so glad you called"  
  
Roger thought she might be crying. "I am too."  
  
"I miss you Roger."  
  
"I miss you too."  
  
"I'm really, really glad you're doing so good staying clean Roger. I'm real proud of you."  
  
"Thanks Mom."  
  
"I love you Roger, you know that right?"  
  
"Yeah, I know Mom. I love you too. I gotta go okay?"  
  
"Okay. I love you. I miss you. Call me soon. Okay? I'll let you go."  
  
"Okay, bye Mom."  
  
"Roger wait!" She almost yelled into the phone.  
  
"What Mom?"  
  
"I'm sorry, but I didn't even know your girlfriends name." She was crying as she spoke. "Your girlfriend dies and your own mother doesn't even know her first name. I'm so sorry Roger."  
  
Roger could barely speak. "It was Mimi Mom. And Mom, thanks for asking. I love you. I gotta go. Goodbye." He hung up the phone as Mark walked out of the bedroom. Roger just sat there at the counter staring at his empty coffee cup.  
  
"Hey. Wow, you made coffee and were the first one up. Shocker. Want more?"  
  
Roger handed him his empty cup. "Where's Cass?"  
  
"She's getting dressed. Were you on the phone?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"With who?" He set Roger's cup back down in front of him.  
  
Cass walked into the kitchen just then. Roger thought she actually looked better. "Hey. How do you feel? You want some coffee?" He pushed his cup towards her. "Come here a minute, I want to see your cast for a second."  
  
She walked over to him and picked up the coffee with her left hand as she held out her right for him to see.  
  
"It's still wet inside isn't it?" He asked her as he pushed his finger into her cast and felt the lining of it by the palm of her hand.  
  
"I don't know. I guess." She shrugged.  
  
"Cass, you got insurance, right?" She nodded yes. "Well, if we can't get it to dry out, you gotta go get a new one put on. Either way, you really got to go to find out when it needs to come off and if it's healing right and stuff."  
  
"I don't want to go to a doctor. Not now. Not looking like this. They ask too many questions. I don't want to go!" She was almost panicking.  
  
"It's okay." He said as he sat her down on the barstool. "I didn't mean today or anything. Let's just try and get it dried out first. Then we'll see what happens. Okay?"  
  
"Okay. I'm sorry." She was looking down at her coffee as she said that.  
  
"It's okay. We just gotta get it dried out. Don't worry about it okay? We'll take care of it. And stop saying I'm sorry. You didn't do anything!"  
  
"Okay. I'm--" She stopped herself and looked up at Roger and tried to smile.  
  
He shook his head. "Whatever." He smiled at her. "I'll be right back and we'll work on your cast." Roger stood up and walked to the front door.  
  
"How do you know all that?" Mark asked.  
  
"I called somebody and asked them." Roger opened the apartment door and started to step into the hall.  
  
"Who did you call? And where are you going?" Mark was really confused. Confused at the conversation. Surprised at everything Roger had done and said so far this morning. And he realized it was only minutes into his morning.  
  
"I'm going to Jen's to get a hairdryer."  
  
"A hair dryer? For what? And who did you call to find out all that?"  
  
"I called a nurse okay? That's how I know."  
  
"A nurse? Who? We don't know any nurses. Except Ginny downstairs and she's not even a nurse yet, she's still in school. Besides, she's out of town this weekend. So who did you call? We don't know anybody else who's a nurse. Do we?"  
  
"Yeah we do." Was all Roger said but he could tell Mark wasn't going to drop it, no matter how hard Roger tried.  
  
"Who?"  
  
Roger looked at Cass, then Mark and back to Cass. Beautiful, beaten and bruised Cass. "My mom." And he walked out the door and headed to Jen's. 


	9. 9

CHAPTER 9  
  
  
  
Mark just stood there staring at the open door for a minute. He knew his mouth had to be hanging open. Roger called his mom? Could he possibly have said that? No way. Not possible But that was what he said.  
  
But Roger hadn't talked to his mom in, in well, a really long time. Mark remembered a big mess happening at Roger's brothers wedding. And that involved April, so it was really years ago.  
  
His mom calls here. But after all this time it's only like Christmas and his birthday. And maybe once in the spring. And Roger never answers the phone. That was obvious yesterday. He'd let the machine pick up every call if Mark let him.  
  
And when she does call, Roger makes Mark tell her he's not there. Then he goes into another room and closes the door. Which in a way is good Mark guessed, because Roger's mom would almost beg mark for information on Roger's life when she got him on the phone. So Mark would give her a little, just to let her know he was alive and for the most part okay. What could he do, she always sounded kind of desperate then. And Roger was her kid and all. Mark the peacemaker strikes again.  
  
Mark had been trying to get Roger to talk to her for years now. And here he goes, just out of the blue he calls her. Wonders never cease.  
  
Mark and Cass sat there drinking coffee for another few minutes before Roger returned with the hair dryer. Mark opened his mouth to say something and before words could even come out Roger stopped him.  
  
"Yes. My mother. And yes I called her. We had to figure out what to do about her cast right? So I asked." Then he looked at Cass and told her "But don't worry. I didn't say anything. I just said one of our friends with a broken arm got pushed into a pool at a party yesterday. That's all."  
  
"Oh" was all Mark started to say, and then added "But-"  
  
"And that's all. I don't really want to talk about it right now, okay Mark?" He gave him a glaring look before turning back to Cass. "You might as well get comfortable, this might take a couple of hours." They ended up setting it up in the bedroom. Mark brought Cass her computer to work on while she waited.  
  
Mark was still a little shocked by the whole mornings events when Jen showed up looking for coffee. "So, any other appliances you two think you'll be needing soon?" She joked with them. Mark just laughed. Roger had disappeared into his room. "No seriously though Mark, whatever you need for her, just come and get it. You can have whatever you want. However I will say I was mighty shocked when I opened the door and found Roger standing there. Nice change of pace."  
  
"Yeah, tell me about it."  
  
Just then there was a knock on the door. Mark let in Collins and Jason. "We thought we'd find you here, looking for coffee." Jason said to his sister as he set down more bagels on the counter. "So what's up? How's Cass?"  
  
"She's in the other room, with my hair dryer trying to dry out the inside of her cast, but wait till you hear this part!" The gossip function in Jen's brain had taken over again. "Guess what Roger did this morning! Tell them Mark."  
  
"Well he was worried about the inside of her cast being wet." Mark began, but got no further.  
  
"So he called, you'll never believe this, his mother!" Jen almost couldn't contain herself.  
  
"Really?" Collins asked.  
  
"Apparently. But don't say anything because he made it real clear he doesn't want to talk about it."  
  
They were all taking a few minutes later, when Roger, fully dressed, walked out. He cold tell by their faces that they knew. Grumpy, recluse Roger briefly returned when he snapped at hem. "I know he told you, so I know he also should have told you I don't want to talk about it. So don't bring it up!" That ended the discussion, just not the looks and the smirks.  
  
"Well, I hear from Elizabeth this morning." Collins told them.  
  
"Who?" Mark asked.  
  
"I didn't get that far yet." Roger told Collins.  
  
Collins recapped both last nights and this morning's conversation with Elizabeth. He also told them that if she won't go anywhere else, if they can get her down to Life Support, Elizabeth would talk to her. Roger was glad he left out the part about him going there this time.  
  
After a while, when Mark couldn't handle not having his glasses anymore because Cass was wearing them, he asked her if she wanted to check her suitcase for them. And to see what she had. Cass told them all to come and sit in the air conditioning with her so the six of them squished into the tiny, but cool room.  
  
Mark opened the suitcase on the bed and started to pull things out. There wasn't a whole lot of stuff. The bag was full, but that was because nothing was folded. There were a bunch of computer disks, her camera, some film, a pair of sandals, a pair of jeans, sneakers and a few days worth of assorted clothes. On the bottom was a cosmetics bag that help a little make up, some hair stuff and her contact case and some solution.  
  
"Well, that's it. Hopefully they are in the boxes that should get here on Friday. But at least you have your contacts."  
  
"Yeah, but you better wait a few more days to put those in though Cass, at least in your left eye." Jason said.  
  
"I don't think that will matter." Collins said as he unscrewed the cap off of both contact wells and turned the case upside down. "No contacts."  
  
"Oh well." Cass sighed. "I've got a bad feeling about my glasses. I can't really remember, but I think I was wearing them when, well, that night." Her eyes dropped to her lap, and she played with the hair dryer that was still running, but Roger had changed it to blow in the other end of her cast.  
  
"Well at least you running shoes made it here." Mark said, trying to change the subject.  
  
"Yeah, well I don't see me doing that for a while though."  
  
"Hey did Mark say you ran a marathon?" Jason asked.  
  
"No, just a half marathon. Only 13 miles."  
  
"Only. I see." Jason laughed. "I can't run for the bus and she runs 13 miles."  
  
"Actually it's pretty easy once you get used to it. Right Mark?"  
  
"Um, yeah, I guess it was. I haven't run in a long time." Mark told her.  
  
"When did you ever run?" Roger asked sarcastically.  
  
"Well, that summer. I used to run with Cass."  
  
"Uh huh. We started out on campus and would run to the park." She grinned. "Mark would recover while I did a few laps. Then we would head back towards the campus. He actually did really well considering he only started when he met me. When did you stop running?"  
  
"Well, let's see, you left on a Sunday I think, and we went together the day before you left. So yeah, I stopped running on Saturday, the day before you left."  
  
"I can't believe you stopped!" Cass said while hitting him with a pillow.  
  
"I can't believe you ever started. What possessed you to actually go in the first place?" Roger asked him.  
  
"I'll tell you later." Mark said, directly at Roger, who got the not so sidle hint.  
  
They all sat around talking for awhile longer, but the conversation was interrupted by the alarms going off on both Roger and Mark's watches.  
  
"God is it four o'clock already? We have to get going." Collins said. Tomorrow is the first day of the fall semester. Oh joy."  
  
"Yeah, me too. New art classes start up tomorrow. And I've got two non art major classes this semester."  
  
"What does that mean?" Mark asked, "You teach art?"  
  
"I teach pencil and charcoal thank you. Not just 'art'. What do I look like some third grade teacher? But what it means is two classes for non- art majors. You know, housewives on Prozac trying to find the inner artist they thought they had once upon a time. That and seniors, filling a requirement and thinking it's an easy A." He grinned.  
  
Collins looked at him and laughed. "What they don't know is Jason is a hard ass!"  
  
"Well you would now better than us!" Roger laughed as both Mark and Jen hit him with pillows and Collins just shook his head.  
  
"He means I don't give easy A's loser."  
  
"Okay, well this conversation is heading places I really don't want to go." Jen said. "Besides, now that Labor Day is over, next week at work starts to get crazy. So as of tomorrow, I get to fetch coffee and lunches for people working on designing next fall's line up, as oppose to the spring one they were still working on last week. But then that's the exciting life of a low level, low paid, highly unrespected design assistant."  
  
"You mean gofer, don't you?" Jason teased her.  
  
"Oh shut up! What about you Mark, didn't you say you had some real work this week?"  
  
"Yeah, I've got to set up some test shots for this guy tomorrow. Once he gets the idea and the details down, that's gonna be a few weeks work."  
  
"Hey speaking off, you camera has been mysteriously absent the past few days. Not that I miss it or are complaining."  
  
"Um, I'm waiting to pick up a part for it tomorrow." He lied. He and Roger had already had this conversation.  
  
"Joanne said she was going to be swamped soon too. Some big case out of Washington her firm is handling." Jason explained. "She even said she may have to go down there a few day a week once the trial gets closer."  
  
"Oh yeah." Jen said. "There was some major butt kissing going on over there today, that' for sure. That's where she and Maureen are today. Spending 'quality time' together today because Joanne's gonna be so busy for a while. Of course Maureen had to do some butt kissing of her own at work, because she was supposed to work today, but she got out of it, but only because she had dirt on--"  
  
"Jennifer! You are such a gossip!" Jason cut her off. "And how do you even find out some of the things your know?" She started to open her mouth, but Jason put his hand up. "Wait! I don't want to know, so don't tell me. Roger are you playing this week?"  
  
"Nope, Izzy's still gonna be gone till the end of the week. I have to bartend this week though, but he made me promise to be nice to the customers."  
  
"Oh so no telling them to fuck off?" Jen asked.  
  
"Or giving them their drinks and saying 'here go asshole'? Or what was the other one? 'Fuck head'?"  
  
"I thought you people were leaving?" Roger said dryly.  
  
"We are." Collins laughed.  
  
They all said good bye to Cass and Mark walked them out to the door. Roger remembered his watch had gone off and got up. "I'll be right back, you want anything?"  
  
"Yes, more Tylenol and another cup of coffee."  
  
"You got it." He walked out. Everyone was still standing by the door talking. "Go home!" Roger told them, trying to act mean, but they knew he was kidding. He ignored them and got the Tylenol and his pills.  
  
"Hey Mark," Jason asked, "why did you start running that summer?"  
  
With that Roger looked up. Sports was never Mark's thing, so Roger was curious too. Mark had this devilish grin on his face.  
  
"Truthfully?" He turned to make sure the bedroom door was closed. "I kinda hated the running part, but you know, I was like 18 and basically, it was two to three miles of starring at Cass' ass in these little spandex shorts!"  
  
All the guys laughed as Jen rolled her eyes. "You know Marky, you never cease to amaze me." Roger told him.  
  
"Believe me," Mark grinned, "lately the feeling is very mutual."  
  
--------  
  
  
  
After everyone left, Cass said she wanted to take a nap. They both offered to lay down with her, but she said she was fine so they went into the living room.  
  
"Now that it's just us, can I ask about your phone call?"  
  
"Yeah I guess." Roger shrugged.  
  
"How? Why? How?" Was all Mark could really say.  
  
"Well, you know we needed to know what to do about her cast. And I knew she'd be able to tell me. I figured I was old enough to act like an adult and talk to my mommy again."  
  
"How long has it been? I mean since you actually talked to her, like not threw me or somebody."  
  
"I don't know. A long time." Roger was picking at the duct tape on the arm of the chair.  
  
"How is she?"  
  
"Okay I guess. We didn't really get into that. She was a little more interested in knowing if everything was okay. Me. You. If I was still clean. She was afraid I was calling for money though."  
  
"Well."  
  
"I know, I can't blame her for that, I feel really bad about lying to her thought, about Cass and all, but I kind of thought that would be better. You know, less questions." Mark was nodding as Roger continued. "But, oh man it was still so easy! I kinda hated that. I guess that's a good thing huh?"  
  
Mark agreed with him. "Are you going to talk to her again?"  
  
"I guess. She asked if it was okay to call here and I told her yes. And I promised her I would call her again. She seemed really glad to talk to me. She said she missed me. I'm glad I called her I guess. I mean we found out some important stuff for Cass. Plus, it was kind of nice to talk to her again."  
  
"Good. I'm glad you did it. It took guts if nothing else."  
  
Now Roger was seriously concentrating on the duct tape on the chair. "She knew about Mimi."  
  
"What?" Mark sat up right. Roger had said it so quietly Mark thought he heard wrong. "Did you say she knew about Mimi? Roger I never said anything to her I swear. I never would."  
  
"No, it's okay Mark. It was Mickey. He ran into an old band at some bar and asked about me. They told him my girlfriend had just OD. So that's what she thought. That she OD. So that's what I let her believe. She seemed real sorry. And when we were hanging up, she got upset, because she realized she didn't even know Mimi's name. She seemed to feel real bad about that. She said something about how my girlfriend dies and my own mother didn't even know her name. And then she apologized to me for that."  
  
"So what did you tell her?"  
  
"What, Mimi's name?" Mark shook his head no. Roger knew what he meant. "I didn't tell her anything. Like I said, I let her think Mimi OD."  
  
"You've got to tell her someday Rog."  
  
"No I don't." He said softly, looking down at the floor.  
  
"Yes you do. I'm not saying today, just someday. Because if you don't, it's not fair. Not to her, or you, or, or especially me!"  
  
Roger hadn't looked at Mark since this whole conversation began, but with that statement his head snapped up, but he didn't know what to say to that. He just stared at him.  
  
"Yeah me! Especially me! What you think I want to call her up someday and say 'hey it's Mark. How you doing. By the way just calling to tell you Roger doesn't feel all that great, 'cause he's sorta, kinda dead! No way buddy! I don't want to do it. Don't you dare make me either. Because I could never forgive you for that." Mark was suddenly really mad. He knew a lot of it came from this conversation with Roger, but he also knew it was anger that was also being feed by the River Cass. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it. Not that last part. I'm sorry."  
  
Roger's eyes had gone back down to the duct tape. "No, you're right. I do have to do it, someday. Not right now though. But I do have to do it. I can't do that to her, or you."  
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes before Mark finally spoke. "Do you think she has any idea? I mean, she is a nurse. And your mother. And she knows you were a junkie for a good number of years. Not to mention adding Mimi in too. I mean don't you think she ever wonders about it? Thinks it's possible. Thinks it's most likely probable."  
  
"Probably. I thought about all that a long time ago. I mean I hope she doesn't, but your right, she's a nurse and I was a junkie. I don't know."  
  
"Which do you think is worse, knowing or not knowing and having to wonder?" Mark asked him.  
  
"I don't know. I don't really remember the wondering part of not knowing."  
  
"For me it was the not knowing. Once I knew, I at least knew what kind of ground I stood on."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Roger asked.  
  
"What?" Mark said to him. "You think you have to be a nurse or your mother to know that cause you were a junkie, you were probably gonna turn up positive? I was around for all that remember? All I'm saying is the not knowing, but the suspecting part, it's really, really hard. Just remember that okay?"  
  
"Yeah, okay." Roger sat there for a few moments. "Mark?"  
  
"Uh huh?"  
  
"Thanks again."  
  
"What are friends for?" 


	10. 10

CHAPTER 10  
  
  
  
Cass was still taking a nap and Mark had gone into his office to work on some notes for the project he was starting in the morning. Roger sat there in the living room playing with the tuning on his guitar.  
  
Playing. Tuning. Thinking. God he had done a lot of thinking today. Cass. His mom. Mark. Himself. Mimi. Yeah, Mimi. She would have been proud of him today. She would have been real proud of him. The fact that he had actually been doing something all day. That he had called his mom. She had been trying for about six months to get him to call her before she got sick. She had talked to her mom again, and wanted Roger to do the same. Well Mimi baby, I did, I finally did.  
  
All of a sudden Roger stopped listening to he head and started listening to his fingers. To what they were playing. He hadn't even realized it. It was Mimi's song. The one he had written for her. About her. Because of her. The lyrics came rushing back at him. Your eyes. The ones that took me by surprise. That symbolic brick wall came rushing back at him too. You were there all along. Rushing back and hit him real hard. I can see it in your eyes.  
  
Oh God Mimi! How had that even made its way from the dark, dark little room in his brain he had locked it up in? All the way down to his fingers and into his guitar. Mimi. Yes, Mimi he realized. When she died, she had taken the key to that room with her. She would be the only one ever able to open that place. Ever. And she did. She had to of. She was trying to tell him something. He knew she was. And he knew what it was too.  
  
Roger put down the guitar and walked over to Mark's office. He opened the door and Mark looked up. "I've got to talk to you again. About Mimi's room." And he turned around and went back into the living room. After seeing the seriousness on his face, and hearing what he said, Mark stopped writing in the middle of a word, got up and followed him back to the living room.  
  
Somewhere, back in time, before any of them ever lived there; the guy that owned the building had started converting the old factory into apartments. Because of that there were three small apartments on the first, second, and third floors. Two smaller ones on the front side and a larger one on the backside of the building with a non-working freight elevator along side that one. The elevator entrance was just boarded over on each floor. They all figured the guy ran out of money before getting to the fourth floor.  
  
Because of that, the fourth floor was split into two halves, with a hallway running down the center. Their side, on the front and then the back side, which never even had gotten as far as their place.  
  
When they moved in, it was one large room with a small bathroom enclosed in the inside corner and a kitchen built across the back wall. There were also four square brick support columns in the center of the room.  
  
Over time, they had built the frames and put up drywall to make four separate bedrooms. Two running down each side of the apartment. Leaving the center open for the kitchen and living room areas. Only the one side, Mark's side had closets built into it. The other had never gotten that far.  
  
They were by no means great walls. Benny and Mark really didn't know what they were doing when they did it. The dry wall doesn't meet right in places. It doesn't hit the floor or ceiling real neat either. All four rooms got spackled, but only three of them ever got primed, and only two ever got painted. There was no electricity in any of the walls they built either. None of them knew anything about electricity, so they didn't mess with it. No sense in making their electrical situation worse. Because of that, all the outlets were in the pre - existing outside walls only.  
  
Roger knew he hadn't been much help in the building of all of it. And considering they were figuring it out as they went, they had all done a pretty good job. But that was how the actual bedrooms had came to be. Mark's room in the front corner with his now office next to that, closer to the kitchen on the right side of the loft, and Roger's room in the other front corner. With Mimi's behind that, closer to the kitchen by the front door.  
  
They called it Mimi's room. They always had, ever since she had moved in. She had always slept in Roger's room, but she kept all her stuff in her room. In Mimi's room. That was where she kept it all. That's where they had kept it all. That's where it all still was. Even now, today.  
  
Mark never went in there. He knew Roger never went in there either. He had no idea when the last time anyone went in there. Probably right after Mimi died, and that was it. They never did anything with Mimi's stuff. Roger never wanted to deal with it, both actually and mentally. And Mark, well he just didn't know what to do with any of it anyway. Plus he'd never do anything like that with out Roger's okay, and Mark had never been in any hurry to have that conversation.  
  
By the time April died, it wasn't like she had had any stuff left. She had either sold it, lost it or something. After everything was over, and Roger had gone to rehab, Collins had cleaned up around the loft. It seemed like Collins had dumped a bunch of April's stuff into two garbage bags. Her sister had shown up one day not long after. It seemed they had given them to her.  
  
Mark sat down on the couch again. Roger was back in the chair, picking at the duct tape. Without looking up, Roger started talking. "I've been doing a lot of thinking today." All Mark could do was nod his head even though he knew Roger wasn't looking at him. "And I made a few decisions, about some stuff. About changing some stuff. You know?"  
  
Mark didn't say anything. He didn't think it was a question he was really supposed to answer.  
  
"Well, I kinda decided it was time I grew up you know. Started acting like an adult and all. And start taking care of things, my things, not making you do it."  
  
Mark nodded again.  
  
"But I need you to do one more thing for me." Roger took a deep breath. "I mean, I figure Cass is gonna need someplace to put her stuff and all. Even if she stays in your room you know? That's if she stays here and all. And I hope she stays, I really do. It kinda sounds like she doesn't really have to many choices right now I guess.  
  
"Well, I sort of decided it was time we do something about Mimi's room. For Cass you know. Mimi would have liked that I think. Can you do that for me?"  
  
"Sure Roger, what ever you want." Mark cold barely get the words out. "What do you want me to do with everything?"  
  
"Well I've been thinking about that too. Mimi was a little smaller than Cass is, but she probably has some stuff Cass can use, right? So maybe you can find some clothes and stuff for her in there." Roger was still looking at the duct tape and picking at it with his fingernail.  
  
"Yeah I can do that Roger." Mark said. On one hand he really didn't want to do any of this. But on the other he couldn't believe Roger was even saying any of this, which made Mark feel like he could walk to the moon at this minute if Roger asked him too.  
  
"Yeah, that would be good I think. Mimi would have liked that. Right? Yeah she would. I don't mean you need to do it right now, like today. Actually I think I'd rather you waited and do it when I'm not here anyway."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Just one more thing. Mimi and Cass, they are actually a lot alike you know? But at the same time, they are a lot different. When you go through her clothes, just don't give Cass any of the real Mimi like stuff. Okay? Like the leather type stuff. Mimi had a real thing for leather. And those spiky heels." Roger paused and a smiled crossed his face at the thought of Mimi all dressed up. "But I don't think that's really Cass. Plus I don't really want to see Cass in that stuff of Mimi's if you know what I mean."  
  
Mark nodded. "Uh huh."  
  
"Maybe Maureen could help you. That way you don't have to do it alone. And she can like help you separate out the more Cass less Mimi like stuff. Okay? Do you mind?"  
  
"No it's okay Roger. I can do that. I think it's a good idea. All of it. I'll call Maureen. I know she'll help me. We'll take care of it for you. No problem."  
  
"Thanks Mark." And he stood up and walked toward his room but stopped outside his door. "I'm right, right? About Mimi?"  
  
"Yeah, I think you are. I mean they were friends. And Mimi would want us, you to help Cass. Sure. But yeah, she'd be really glad about all of it. Everything you've been doing lately. It's all she wanted you know?"  
  
"Yeah it is isn't it?" Then Roger walked into his room and closed the door.  
  
Mark just sat there for a few minutes. God this had been a long strange weekend was all he could think.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
"Well I finally got my computer re-set." Cass said sitting down next to Mark on the couch. "Now all I have to do is dial in and check my email. But I have a feeling I'll end up deleting most of them. I don't want to deal with all that. Maybe right now I'll just lay here an watch stupid TV."  
  
They could hear Roger in his room playing his guitar. Mark was making notes on his yellow legal pad on the couch. Cass was lying next to him, watching TV. Her toes tucked under Mark's leg. If it hadn't been for her black eye and cast Mark thought; it would have been just like any other Labor Day weekend. Hanging out at the loft with one of their friends.  
  
"Hey I'm getting hungry." Roger called through his now open bedroom door. "We gonna get some take out?"  
  
"Do you guys ever stay home and eat? They invented this thing called a kitchen."  
  
"Oh like you would know anything about that." Mark said sarcastically.  
  
"Some people use it for more than a place to set a coffee maker and keep beer cold." She continued, laughing and ignoring his comment.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Oh a little thing called cooking. You may have heard of it."  
  
"I'm surprised you have." He teased her.  
  
"Actually billions of people around the world do to every day!"  
  
"Thankfully, excluding you." He tickled her foot as she stuck out her tongue at him. "Roger! We may have to take her to the ER. I think she's got an undiagnosed concision! She wants us to cook!"  
  
Roger came to the bed room door and was smiling. "Yup, definite sign of brain damage I think!"  
  
They were all laughing as Mark got up to answer the door someone just started knocking on. "What's so funny?" Collins asked as he, Jason, and Jen walked in.  
  
"We think Cass has brain damage. She wants one of us to cook!"  
  
That brought laughter to the others as well. "Oh honey," Jen said, "don't go there! I've seen it, it's not pretty!"  
  
They discussed the food issue for a while longer and decide on, it being Labor Day and all, grilling on the roof. Jen had everything they needed downstairs at her place. She opened the door to go there just as a very well dressed older man was about to knock on the door. Jen didn't think she knew him, but there was something familiar about his face. Another man, also dressed casually accompanied him, but Jen could tell they were very expensive casual clothes on both of them. Both had a tired, worn expression on their faces. Like a long time since a good night sleep, but maybe more than that.  
  
"Oh! Sorry! You sort of scared me. I wasn't expecting anyone to be standing there." Everyone but Cass, who was still lying down on the couch, facing the wrong way turned to look when Jen spoke.  
  
Collins did not have a good feeling about the two men at the door immediately. And he could tell he wasn't the only one. Mark came around the back of the couch as if to put himself between them and Cass. Roger had set down the guitar and was standing about halfway between them and Mark. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and was glaring at them. And Collins realized when he did that; he looked rather large and menacing. He also thought Roger knew that too and that was why he was doing it. Even Jason, who had a decent size build, had stepped up next to Mark and assumed a posture similar to Roger's.  
  
"We are looking for Mark Cohen. But more accurately, for my daughter Cass."  
  
Ignoring the pain in her ribs at such a move, Cass sat bolt up right at the sound of the familiar voice. Jen watched as every drop of blood and color ran out of her face as fear and panic replaced them. As Mark stepped towards the door, Jen stared backing up, towards Cass who was kneeling on the couch, her one hand gripping the back of it. Her knuckles turning white. Everyone was looking from Cass to the two men in the doorway. She opened her mouth, but no sound cam out.  
  
"She told you not to come here. To leave her alone." Mark said.  
  
"Cass! Thank God we fond you!" The first man said, totally ignoring Mark. This was obviously her father Carlton. "We've been so worried about you! Look at you! You're a mess! But don't worry." He tried walking into the apartment towards her, but Roger stepped in his way and stopped him.  
  
"Well, yes." Said the other man, who had a definite accent. He must be her uncle Jen thought. "Well thank you all very much for helping Cass out for a while. But we'll take it from here. This being a family thing and all. However we do want to thank you." He pulled out his wallet and pulled a large chunk of money out of it and set it on the counter. "This should do. Thank you again. Come on Cass, we have got to get going. Where are your things? We'll get it for you."  
  
Collins had never seen Mark so angry. He could see hatred in his eyes and his whole body was shaking he was so mad. "She doesn't have any stuff. That bastard destroyed all her stuff."  
  
"I see. Well, don't worry Cass, we'll get you all set up again. But first we have to go home." Andre said. "She's not going anywhere with you." Roger almost spit the words at him.  
  
"Come on Cass. Let's go." Carlton was talking to her now. In a soft father like voice. Jen didn't think it sounded real. She didn't trust it. She had kneeled next to Cass on the front side of the couch and pried her left hand off the back of the couch and held it in hers. Carlton was continuing. "Let's just go home and we'll work this whole thing out. You don't want to go to LA, fine, we'll take you to the house in France. I'm sorry I asked you the questions about the drugs. I should have known better. I know you promised never again. No matter what, I won't send you back to rehab. Never again. I promise."  
  
Cass had stood up off the couch. She just kept shaking her head back and forth as she was backing away from them. She started to pull her hand away from Jen just as she backed into the milk crate coffee table and started to trip. Jen got enough of a grip on her to keep her from falling. "No!" She said as she finally found her voice. "I'm not going anywhere. Especially there, with him! Never again! Don't even think about it!"  
  
"Cass you have to go home someday." Carlton pleaded with her.  
  
"No I don't! You forget who lives with us at 'home'! Forget it! I'll never go back there while he's still breathing! As far as I'm concerned I am home!" She yelled at him.  
  
"Cassiopeia!" Andre said, in a voice that they could all tell he was used to getting respect with. "You will be returning home, with us, today. I have spoken to your cousin and he explained the situation. And your father has already assured you we will not be sending you to a rehabilitation center again."  
  
"Now," his voice softened but Jen could tell it was still fake. "We understand why you're upset. Anton told me what happened. We aren't mad at either of you. He explained about the cocaine and all, but we can settle this at home. Now may we please go?"  
  
"Cocaine!" Roger was in Carlton's face now. "What the fuck do you think that is on her face asshole? You don't get the whole fucking side of your face caved in from doing lines! What do you think? She broke her arm when she ran a straw off the end of a table? What the fuck is wrong with you?"  
  
"No! I didn't do anything but open the damn door! Anton's never been clean and you know it. He's been doing ecstasy for so long now his brain's not right any more. He's fucking psychotic! I didn't do anything but open the door!" She was crying now and had backed up almost to the wall. "I opened the damn door!"  
  
"Cass, honey." Carlton started. His eyes were gong back and forth from her to Andre, and occasionally Roger. "If we go home we can fix all of this mess up. No problems then. Okay? I told you I believe you about the coke okay? Let's just go home and I'll make it all better, I promise."  
  
Roger lost it. The pain and anger and hatred and hurt he had bottled up over the years came flooding out. All he had felt against the world, himself and especially his father just for starters. For years he watched his father smack he mother around and he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't help her. He couldn't take care of her. He couldn't protect her. But Roger had been a kid then. What could a little kid really do back then?  
  
But Carlton was no kid. He was Cass' father. He was supposed to take care of her. He was supposed to protect her. And in Roger's eyes, he was protecting only himself and his sorry ass. He was ignoring the obvious and doing what he was told by Andre. Cass needed protecting and he wanted to take her home to the place where that bastard was. What kind of sorry excuse for a father was this guy? To Roger, acting like he was made him no better than the bastard that hurt her in the first place.  
  
Roger spun around and grabbed Carlton by the shirt and threw him up against the wall. In the brief commotion, Jen grabbed Cass' hand and yanked her into Mark's room and slammed the door. Jason could hear her sliding something, probably the dresser in front of the door. You go sis was all he had time to think. He saw Andre for the briefest of moments looked as if he would move to do something, but seeing Mark, Jason and Collins ready to attack, he did nothing. Fucking chicken shit bastard Jason thought.  
  
Roger grabbed Carlton from the wall and threw him against it again. "How the fuck are you gonna fix that huh? How are you gonna make that better?" Roger was yelling right in Carlton's face. He was driving the point of every sentence he said into Carlton's left shoulder with the first two finger of his right hand. And he was doing it hard. Every time he poked him, Carlton's shoulder flew back.  
  
"No problem my ass!" He yelled at him with the lungpower only a rock and roll band front man could have. "That bastard came in, beat the living crap out of her! Raped her! Probably beat her up some more! And then just to destroy whatever she still had left in side of her, he fucking goes back and trashes everything she has! That's your fucking daughter were talking about! How the hell are you gonna fix that! He raped her and you know it! How are you gonna make that better!"  
  
Roger grabbed him and threw him against the wall one last time before he turned around and walked over to the counter bar. With a great swooshing motion, Roger back handed the empty coffee cup that was sitting there and sent it crashing into the wall then slammed his hands down on the counter hard enough to make them all jump.  
  
The room was silent. Roger had said it. That one four letter word. The word that had danced on the edge of everyone's thoughts since Cass' arrival. The word that had only been implied in the conversations they had all had over the last 48 or so hours. Collins realized he hadn't even used it when he went to Life Support to talk to Elizabeth about getting Cass some help. When he relayed it all to Roger he referred to it as the Women's Crisis Center. Not the Women's Rape Crisis Center.  
  
That word hung in the air for a minute or so. Jason could see Mark turning a sick shade of green and wondered if he was gonna throw up on that guy Andre's expensive shoes. Mark swallowed hard, looked Andre straight in the eye and then said "Cass isn't going anywhere, especially with either of you right now. Just leave her alone for awhile. If she wants to talk to you, she'll call you. You want to talk to her, send her an email. Don't call here. Or on her phone. Unless she tells you different later."  
  
"Young man," Andre began, "while I appreciate your dedication my niece, I really think we know what's best for her. And that would be leaving with us, now. Whether she thinks so right now is not the point."  
  
"No." Mark was very, very calm in his speaking now. "No you proved quite well today that you have no idea what's best for her. And if you try and make her leave against her will, that's kidnapping. At least in America, which by the way is where you currently are. Besides she couldn't leave right now even if she wanted to. She doesn't have her passport. It's currently locked up in my safety deposit box, which only I can open. Which I won't do, and you can't make me, not with out a court order.  
  
"Now if any of that confuses you, we can discuss it with my lawyer if you like. I can call her right now if you want." Mark walked over to the phone and picked up the receiver. "I believe she was running into her office for a few hours today to prepare for her big case in Washington DC. But we can try her at home first. If she's not there I can probably get her on her cell phone. It might be easier that trying to get through the switchboard on a holiday weekend." Mark was ready to dial, but looked at both of them first. "So which is it, do you feel the need to speak to Ms. Jefferson, or are you going to leave now on your own?" Mark said straight at Andre.  
  
"We're leaving." Came Carlton's voice from behind Mark. "He's right Andre. We can't make her go. Actually you can't make her go, and I should not even try to make her do anything."  
  
"Carlton I dis--"  
  
"No! Let her do what she thinks is best. My God we are blind stupid fools. We have other issues to deal with at home right now. Starting with your stepson! That little bastard! How could I have taken his word over my own daughter's? How could you? My God Andre! She's all we have left! And here we are doing this! We are leaving. Now!"  
  
He took out his wallet and started to pull out money from it and a money clip in his pants pocket. "Here. Make sure she gets whatever she needs." As he dropped a number of bills, most of them hundreds on top of the pile Andre had started when they first got there. "I know she has some cash. She took it out before she left Italy so I couldn't track her by her credit cards. Tell her to go ahead and use the cards. I won't use them to check up on her. Tell her I promise. And tell her for god sake to use her fund once in a while if she needs it. Don't go giving it all away again."  
  
He moved closer to the door. Andre opened his mouth to speak but shut it after Carlton gave him a look of great warning. "Make sure she sees a doctor. Please. I know she went to the hospital but I would prefer and American doctor, not those places they call hospitals in Italy. And here," He pulled out a few business cards and dropped them on top of the money. "My cell phone and all my office numbers are on here. Please call me if she needs anything. Anything at all. Please." He was looking at Mark, who silently shook his head.  
  
"Tell her to call me. Please. And tell her I'm sorry. We are both sorry. So, so sorry." He looked at Andre and then back at all of them. "For everything. Absolutely everything." His eyes swept over Collins and then Jason and landed on Roger, who was still glaring at him. He looked at Roger for a second, then at Mark, and then back to Roger. When he spoke again, it was clear this was directed at the two of them.  
  
"Take good care of my daughter for me. Please. She is all I have left. Take care of her. God knows I haven't over the years. I love her. You know that don't you? I love her with all my heart and soul. And I'd give both up to change things. So many things. Just promise me you will take care of her. I do love her you know." He kept staring at the two of them, waiting for an answer. They both just stared back at him.  
  
"Come on, we're leaving. This time I'm telling you to go." He said to Andre and they turned and started down the hall.  
  
Mark walked to the open door and watched them walk away. When they started down the steps Mark slammed the door shut and hit all the locks on it. "Okay!" 


	11. 11

CHAPTER 11  
  
  
  
Even though Roger was twice as far way as Jason, they both made it to Mark's bedroom door at the same time. "Jennifer!"  
  
"Cass!" Roger yelled as he pushed on the door.  
  
"Jen open the door, they're gone!" Jason hollered at he door. "Jennifer!" There was no answer or sound coming from inside the room. They all knew there was no lock on the door, so it had to be the dresser holding it closed. Jason and Roger stared kicking at the door to push the dresser out of the way, calling their names the whole time. "Okay!" Jason yelled when they had moved it far enough to reach in and push it the rest of the way over with their hands. "They're not here!" He yelled.  
  
"They must have gone down the fire escape!" Roger said, flinging the window open. "The ladder's down at the ground. Where would they go?" He climbed out the window.  
  
"Wait." Collins called to him. "Jen left a note, but I don't get it." He said to them as he picked up the piece of paper that had been lying on the bed. "All it says is 'Mark, went appliance shopping. Love, Jen'."  
  
"Well what the hell does that mean?" Roger demanded as if the others were keeping information from him.  
  
Mark broke into a big smile. "Oh Jen I love you! They're at her place. They must have gone all the way down the fire escape and come back in the front door!" And Mark was off and running with Jason at his heels. Roger made it back in the window and caught up with them in no time with Collins not far behind.  
  
Mark and Jason took the stairs two at a time down to the second floor. Roger almost jumped from landing to landing. Collins realized that they must have been pretty noisy running down there, when he saw Jen open her apartment door before they barely made it into her hallway.  
  
"She's in my room." Jen said as Roger and Mark about knocked her over running through the door.  
  
"Jen!" Jason grabbed her and pulled her close. "Are you okay? I don't know if I should yell at you or hug you!"  
  
"Oh Jason! She's a mess! I mean I think she might be losing it! What happened up there? I saw them leave out the front window. They didn't look happy at all. What happened?"  
  
"We'll tell you later. What happened in there?" Collins asked as they entered her apartment.  
  
"When Roger grabbed him, I grabbed her. I didn't know what was going to happen, but she was flipping hearing them yell at each other out there. And the fire escape was the only way out." She shrugged.  
  
"What was she doing?" Jason asked. He still had an arm protectively around her.  
  
"Just flipping really. And crying and she just kept saying 'All I did was open the door'. And then she starts crying harder and saying something like 'my own fucking father! I promised and he doesn't believe me.' I don't know what it all means." Jen said, shaking her head and holding onto Jason still. "But it's bad. Very bad."  
  
----  
  
Roger and Mark covered the distance from the front door to Jen's bedroom door in about three steps each. Mark knocked the door open so hard it flew into the wall and the doorknob left a hole in the wall. Cass was sitting on the floor of Jen's room. She had wedged herself between the small dresser and the closet wall. She had her knees pulled up under her chin with her left arm wrapped tightly around her shins. He casted arm on top of her knees and her head was down on her cast. They could hear her taking great sobbing breaths as soon as the door flew open.  
  
Mark made it through the door first and slid to a stop on his knees in front of her. Roger, right behind him, grabbed the side of the dresser and gave it a great shove away from Cass. Something on top of the dresser went crashing to the floor on the other side as Roger dropped down next to her.  
  
"Cass!" Mark realized he was almost yelling and got real quite as he spoke to her. "Cass. It's okay. They left. It's okay." She didn't stop crying or look up. She didn't move at all.  
  
Roger reached his arm around her. When he actually touched her, her whole body sort of jumped. "Sh, shh, shhhh. It's okay. It's only us. They're gone. It's only me and Mark. Come on, it's okay."  
  
"Please stop crying Cass. Please." Mark begged of her. "Say something. Please Cass. Say something. Anything. Please."  
  
She never moved. Never lifted her head up. She just kept sobbing into her casted arm. Finally, in between sobs she started to say something. She was crying so hard still, Mark almost couldn't understand her. "He's my father and he didn't believe me." She sobbed. "I didn't do anything. I promised him. I didn't do anything and he didn't believe me. I didn't do anything. All I did was open the door. I only opened the door."  
  
Roger pulled her in tight to him. He really sort of picked her up more than stood her up. "I know Cass. I know." Was all Roger said as he picked her all the way up. "Come on Cass. We're gonna take you home."  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
"Well," Collins said as he sat the money on the milk crate. "$9, 473."  
  
Jen was sweeping up the last bits of the coffee cup Roger had knocked into the wall earlier. She looked up from the broom and newspaper she was using as a dustpan when Collins said the figure. "They were carrying that much cash on them? In this neighborhood? Wow."  
  
"Great." Mark said about as unenthusiastically as humanly possible. "That'll keep us all in Prozac for awhile."  
  
"Mark don't worry. She's got spunk. And fight. She's gonna be okay." Jason said, but Collins wasn't sure who he was trying to convince, Mark or himself.  
  
"Well, she's asleep." Roger said as he fell into the couch. Could they really have been talking about dinner only like two hours ago? He was so tired at this moment it could have been a hundred years ago.  
  
"Do you want some coffee Roger?" Jen asked him as she put the cup she just made down in front of him.  
  
"Yeah, sure, I guess." He learned against the back of the couch and gave a long sigh. With his eyes closed and his head resting on the back of the couch he asked her "do I even want to know what you gave her?"  
  
"Just two sleeping pills. They're prescription, but barely. They're just a step above the over the counter ones. I figured sleeping would be good you know. Maybe get through tonight, wake up tomorrow. New day, new perspective."  
  
"So what do we do now? What do we do first? Or actually next I guess." Mark asked.  
  
"Well, before we figure out what to do next, lets figure out what we have so far." Collins suggested.  
  
"One very freaked out chick who was totally disked by her father. That's what we've got."  
  
"Jen be helpful or shut up." Snapped Jason. "Okay, I think we got the fucked up family history. Only her, the father and the uncle left. And we know Anton is the bastard in question, but who's Anton?"  
  
"After the plane crash," Mark began as he played with his coffee cup full of untouched coffee. "Andre got remarried. Her name's Gigi or something. Anton's her kid. Andre's step kid. So I guess that makes him, what, her step cousin or something.  
  
"There have always been a few issues with him. He's like four years older than she is. He moved in with them in LA not long after she got there. Supposedly he was going to school there, but I think he was mainly doing coke parties. He's the reason she ended up in rehab the when she was 16. Since then she's tried to stay away from him. He really stared to creep her out after she got out of rehab. Sometimes she could avoid him, sometimes she couldn't. Supposedly Anton was being set up to run the business with Cass someday I guess, but she didn't want to run it at all. Either way, she had to spend more time with him than she wanted."  
  
"Okay. So we know who Anton the asshole is and that he ended up in Italy. Probably on business with her. Now what was all the stuff about how she promised somebody something?" Jason asked.  
  
"Yeah." Jen's head popped up. "She said something about that Saturday too. When we were talking about Tylenol and painkillers. What was that?"  
  
Mark was so tired he thought his brain was going to break soon. "After she got out of rehab she stayed clean for awhile. Not long after she left out Brown, she started dating this guy Paul. Paulie actually. She met him back in LA. She was taking classes there, he was like four years older than she was, but he didn't know that at first.  
  
"Anyway, Paulie was a coke head, and soon enough so was Cass again. Well, one night they were in a car accident. A bad one. She should be dead, but she had passed out and sort of slid off the seat and onto the floor. They hit a pole, which broke and fell onto the car and crushed the roof almost to the passenger seat. Only reason she's alive was because she was on the car floor.  
  
"So Carlton or more likely Andre, find out she's a total coke head again and send them both to rehab. She goes out there in LA and he gets sent to like Minnesota or something. She found out later that Paulie got paid off to stay away from her. You know, rehab, legal stuff, college loans, grad school type stuff. Just stay away from her. Which I think he was real willing to do for the right price.  
  
"Anyway, Cass promised Carlton she would never do drugs again if he would get her out of rehab. Well he makes her stay and finish, which was probably a good thing, but holds her to that promise."  
  
"So that's why she didn't get the pain killers? Because of rehab?"  
  
"Well yeah, I guess. I mean I know she hated it there. And she was always afraid they would send her back. She told me once that a big part of what kept her clean all these years. Fear of getting sent back. That and the fact she promised Carlton." He explained. "But the bigger issue was Anton. He's fucked up. Really fucked up and has been for awhile now. She knew she was a lot saf--," he stopped. "She was a lot better off not being around him. When she was clean and sober, that was a whole lot easier to do. When she was wasted, he was a lot less creepy to hang around with. She always had problems with him, but when she was using, it was a whole lot harder to not have problems."  
  
"What kind of problems?" Jen asked.  
  
"Just problems! Okay. Just stuff." Mark was getting upset again. He hated remembering some of the stuff Cass had told him over the years. Or more like what she hadn't told him and just alluded to. He didn't want to get into it with all of them. "He been into ecstasy for a good number of years. On top of other stuff." He told them, looking down at the floor.  
  
"That stuff is really nasty after awhile." Collins said. "It will really mess with the connections in your brain."  
  
"Well," Mark continued, "the connections in his brain were definitely not being made. But the bigger issue is, everybody in her family had to have known what was going on, and nobody seemed to care. She got sent to rehab, twice. She had lots of problems with him. He was always getting into trouble and nobody seemed to care. They never paid any attention to him. But her uncle was always threatening to send her back to rehab, and I know she couldn't stand that.  
  
"See I didn't hear from her a whole lot while she was dating Paulie. For obvious reasons, you know, but when she got into rehab, I heard from her a lot. Like every few days sometimes. And it would be pages and pages of stuff. She was sort of freaked out back then anyway. There was a lot of stuff going on, not just the coke, but other stuff too. I mean she was suddenly off coke again, almost died in a car accident, stuck in the hospital for that then gets sent to rehab for like another four months. Plus she found out her boyfriend got paid off to stay away from her. By her father and her uncle. I mean I can't blame her for being totally freaked out." Mark said into he still untouched coffee.  
  
"Wow." Jen said as everyone else just sat there silently.  
  
"Oh shit! I just remembered," Mark said, "I have to set up a bunch of shots for this guy tomorrow. Great! I finally get someone who wants to pay me to actually do something and I've got to cancel it. Fuck."  
  
"Don't cancel it." Roger said without opening his eyes or even raising his head off the back of the couch. "You got to go. Besides, if she finds out later you canceled it because of her, she'll just get pissed at you."  
  
"Well I can't just go off and leave her all alone tomorrow!"  
  
"Dah idiot, I'll be here. Besides, after tonight we'll be lucky to ever get her out of the loft ever again. Most likely she'll sleep half of tomorrow and spent the rest of the day sitting in the dark, starring at the walls." Roger finally looked up. "I think I can handle that. Hell, I'm an expert on that."  
  
After Roger said that, they all just sat there for a few minutes in silence. No one said anything. No one was going to argue that. Roger was indeed an expert on reclusive behavior at this point. And all of them, including Roger knew it.  
  
"I have to work tomorrow too, but call me if you need anything Roger." Jen said, taking her empty coffee cup to the sink. "Does anybody want anything to eat? We never did get any dinner." No's and I'm not hungry were the answers she got. Still standing in the kitchen she started wiping down the counter.  
  
"Yeah we have to work too, we should get going. Man Mark, I don't think I'll ever forget the look on your face. For a moment I really thought you were gonna throw up! But then you got real cool and went into the whole speech about Joanne! That was really awesome." Jason grinned.  
  
"Yeah, I felt like throwing up too. But I figured that was a little more diplomatic." Just then the alarm on his and Roger's watches went off. They both silenced them, but then just sat there.  
  
"Oh and the kidnapping part was good too." Jason continued. "And that was real good thinking about telling them you locked up her passport! In your safety deposit box! What a joke! I bet they think you actually have one of those."  
  
"Well actually, that was sort of true. She gave me her passport Saturday. Told me to put it someplace safe. Someplace where no one would find it. So I did." Mark shrugged.  
  
Roger's head dropped back onto the back of the couch. Collins was starting to grin. "So you put it back in the," he paused, " a safe spot." The grin left his face as quickly as it came as he looked at Roger.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What do you mean? Where did you put it?" Jen wanted to know.  
  
"Just someplace where I figured no one would look."  
  
"Where?" She was still asking.  
  
Without opening his eyes or lifting his head Roger spoke, in a quiet, tired voice. "Just tell her already before her head explodes. It's not like your safety deposit box or why you had it is any big secret anymore."  
  
Mark's eyes went from Roger to the ground. He didn't say anything. After a moment Collins started to explain. "Well, you have to remember this isn't the greatest of neighborhoods, and security was kind of an issue at times, so we had found away to lock things up so as not to worry about, well important stuff."  
  
"He means they figured out how to pull the vent out of the wall in the one room and they could hide stuff in there. Like wallets and paychecks and jewelry and stuff." Roger paused and let out a long sigh but still hadn't looked up. "Small stuff. Stuff that was worth money. Stuff they needed to hide so April and I wouldn't steal it."  
  
"Basically, yes that's it." Collins said.  
  
"Oh" was all Jason said.  
  
After a moment Collins broke the silence. "We should get going. We'll be home tomorrow night, call us."  
  
Mark got up and walked them to the door. "Thanks you guys. We'll talk to you tomorrow."  
  
Jen was still in the kitchen, cleaning out her coffeepot and straightening up. She opened the drawer to put something away and saw Roger's pills. He hadn't moved to get them when his alarm went off and by now he's probably forgotten she thought.  
  
She picked up the pill bottle, and knowing he hadn't eaten in hours, one of the bagels form this morning that Jason had brought over. He still had his untouched, but cold coffee in front of him. She walked over and stood over him behind the couch. "Roger." His eyes opened. "Here." She handed him the pills and bagel.  
  
"Thanks." And he closed his eyes again.  
  
"Seriously sweetie, call my at work tomorrow if you need anything. Okay?"  
  
"Yeah, thanks. Jen?" His eyes popped open and he grabbed her hand. "I mean it, thanks, really. For everything. I mean it. You're the best."  
  
"You say that now," she joked at him. "You haven't gotten my bill for cleaning up flying coffee mugs. And for what ever it was that I heard crash and break in my room. I know that was you!" She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "Night sweetie. Call me if you need me."  
  
After Mark locked the door he walked back into the living room. Roger was eating the bagel Jen gave him. "I think my brain is going to explode." He said as he flopped down hard on the couch next to Roger. "What do we do now?"  
  
"Wait and see what happens tomorrow. Maybe Jen's right. Maybe sleeping will get her over the hump. I mean it won't make any of this shit better, but it might at least calm her down. I don't know. Like I said, wait and see."  
  
"What are we going to do with that?" Mark asked, pointing at the money on the milk crate as if it were some poisonous snake that might bite him. "Collins said it's over $9,000."  
  
"I guess groceries might be a good idea. And she's gonna need some stuff. Let her pull it back together some and she can decide. Either way, I can get some food delivered tomorrow if nothing else. Get her to eat and all. And I won't have to leave her alone."  
  
"Okay. Good."  
  
"Let's go to bed." 


	12. 12

CHAPTER 12  
  
  
  
  
  
When Cass woke up Roger was lying next to her, still asleep. She sat there for a few minutes watching him sleep, snoring softly. She couldn't help but think how he was different then she had imagined. After all the years of letters, she just sort of pictured him differently.  
  
Not in how he looked. She had seen pictures of him. Both from Mark and Mimi. But how he was just different than what she had thought he'd be. What she met at the front door on Saturday, was the Roger she had expected. The one that hated the world and everyone in it and who didn't care who knew it.  
  
So yes, that was what she expected. But at the same time, she knew she shouldn't have. Both Mimi and Mark had told her so much more about him. The real him. The one that he didn't want the world to see. The one that actually was a lot like Mark.  
  
In the beginning, she could never understand why they were even friends. When they were little kids was one thing, but later, when their lives got so different she didn't know why they were still together. She had heard so much about him over the years. So many letters. Mark told her all sorts of stuff about him. But it was guy type of stuff. Where Roger was concerned especially, in the beginning, it was definitely guy type stuff. It took Cass awhile before she could see beyond that in Mark's letters.  
  
Over the years Mark and Cass had many deep conversation and intense letters. And Mark was definitely more introspective, of both himself and the world around him, including Roger. More so than most guys. And he was willing to emotionally talk about a lot of stuff. Also including Roger. Cass wondered if that was because so much of their relationship over the years wasn't face to face, or even over the phone, but written on paper. On paper where you can think before you speak and you don't have to look anyone in the eye when you say things.  
  
On paper they both had told things and confessed things to each other they would never had said out loud to anyone else, not even each other. That was why she knew Mark so well. Probably better than anyone. Even Roger. Maybe. She had started to understand why he and Mark were friends all this time now. They were actually more like one and the same person. So alike, so the same on the inside. Just showing the world different outsides.  
  
Everyone seemed to take Mark at face value, but dug deeper with Roger. But in reality they both kind of wanted the opposite. Roger worked so hard at getting people to stay out of his brain. Out of the closed off little world he created for himself. While Mark put it all out there for everyone to see, but no one looked.  
  
Cass knew when she left Italy she could count on Mark. She had always known that. She knew she would be better off here with him than anywhere else. But she hadn't thought about Roger when she made that quickly put together plan. Actually, at that moment she'd forgotten about him altogether. It wasn't until he opened the door on Saturday she even remembered about him.  
  
She was living in a nightmare and Mark was the only one she had thought would be able to even come close to waking her up. That's what she had thought. But then there was Roger. Roger who was so similar to Mark. Or was it Mark that was so similar to Roger. Either way she realized something that made her feel better. Actually a lot better. She came here looking for Mark, thinking he could make this whole thing better for her. What she got was Roger and Mark. Maybe if she stayed here with them, everything really would be okay. Eventually.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
Roger rolled over, opened his eyes and saw Cass, looking down at him and smiling at him.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey. How you doing? You look a lot better than you did last night. Are you okay?" He rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow.  
  
"Okay I guess." She pulled her knees up towards her chin and wrapped her left arm around them and rested her cast on her legs by her chest. "Last night was bad. Really bad. And they aren't used to not getting their own way." Her eyes went to her knees. "They didn't do anything did they?" "You mean other than treat you like garbage, totally ignore the obvious, take the word of a total bastard over yours, try and push a bunch of shit under a rug, bully Mark, and oh yeah, buy us all off? No, other than that they didn't do anything." He smiled at her, hoping she knew he was kidding around with her and wasn't upset.  
  
"Oh God! I'm sorry. What did they do to Mark?"  
  
"Nothing really. Your uncle tried to verbally run him over like a Mack truck. But you would have been really impressed with him. I mean you know Mark. Mr. Make and Keep the Peace, at whatever the cost. No matter what you have to give up or sacrifice."  
  
She nodded at him with big sad, embarrassed eyes.  
  
"Well," Roger was really grinning at this point. "Mark just stood there, all polite like an let him finish. Then her calmly explained to him that if he tried to take you, that that was kidnapping. And how your passport was locked up in what I'm sure they thought was an actual safety deposit box in a real bank. Then he volunteered to have his attorney, Ms. Joanne Jefferson, Esquire explain some of the finer points to them should either of them feel it necessary."  
  
"Mark did that? To Andre? Quiet little Marky?"  
  
"Quiet little Marky did that. I was damn proud of him. Not right then, I think I was a little too pissed at the moment. But thinking back on it, yeah I guess I'm damn proud of him for that. I probably should tell him that." He got quieter as he spoke that last part and shifted his eyes down to the mattress.  
  
"Wow." Cass said softly. "Did anything else happen?"  
  
"Just me and Jason almost kicking in the bedroom door to find you and Jen already gone. And you scaring the absolute crap out of us cause we couldn't get you to calm down."  
  
"I'm sorry." She couldn't look at him.  
  
"Hey as long as you're doing better today is all that matters okay?" He started playing with her two fingers that weren't broken on her right hand. "And stop saying you're sorry you didn't do anything to be sorry for."  
  
"Okay. I'm--" she stopped herself and smiled at him.  
  
Roger's eyes went back down to the bed. Now it was his turn to not be able to look at her. Very softly he started to speak to her. "I do have to tell you something else though. I sort of, well I kind of roughed up your father. I'm real sorry Cass. I shouldn't have done it. But he wasn't listening to you. And you were freaking out and all. I just got so mad at him. I mean he wasn't listening to you at all. And they kept going on about what that bastard had told them. And you were crying and everything. I'm sorry Cass."  
  
"It's okay Roger."  
  
"I shouldn't have done it."  
  
"It's okay. I mean you probably didn't have any choice really. They get like that. It would have just gotten worse otherwise."  
  
"I still shouldn't have done it. I lost my temper. Big fucking surprise. I'm really sorry Cass." He was tracing the pattern on the sheet with his finger.  
  
"Well, what exactly did you do to him?"  
  
"I threw him into the wall. A couple of time I guess. He just wouldn't listen."  
  
"Is that all?" She sounded surprised.  
  
"Well I sort of almost poked a hole in his shoulder too as I yelled at him."  
  
"That's it?" She was starting to smile.  
  
"Yeah, I guess. I'm sorry Cass."  
  
"Don't be. I've wanted to do that for years when they weren't listening. Both of them." She was actually almost laughing now.  
  
"You're not mad?"  
  
"Mad? No! I wish I had seen it. No chance Mark got that on film? Wow. How did it feel?"  
  
"Okay I guess." He was starting to grin to. Cass had this contagious smile. "It would have been better if it was your uncle, you know?"  
  
"Believe me, I know!"  
  
Roger thought she was almost laughing. Good keep this going.  
  
"So what did he say? When you did that? They aren't used to not getting their own way. It doesn't happen often. Tell me what he said!"  
  
"Um, something along the lines of 'ow, ow, my head ow'!" They were both laughing at this. "No, not really. He didn't say anything then. Right after that was when Mark politely informed them they would be leaving without you. He also told them not to call you. That they could email you and that was it."  
  
Cass had stopped laughing and got serious on Roger. "What did he say though, like in the end what did he say?" Roger stopped laughing. He was about to answer, but before he could say anything she started getting upset and throwing questions at him. "He said something though right? He did say something. He had to. He had to have said something though right? I mean, Carlton did say something right? My dad said something, he had to have said something." She was starting to cry.  
  
"Cass, shhh, it's okay. Yeah he said something. It's okay, don't cry. Please. Please don't cry. I can't tell you if your start crying again. Okay? Please?" Roger was sitting up in the bed and hugging her. When she calmed down again he pulled back some, still holding her by her shoulders. He looked into her eyes. Her beautiful eyes that were filled with tears still. "Okay?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"What he said, was, well after Mark finished his Joanne bit, your dad told your uncle that they were leaving. And how could they have been so stupid. And how could they have listened to that bastard over you.  
  
"Then he put a bunch more money on the pile your uncle started earlier and said to make sure you got whatever you needed. He said to tell you he promised not to check your credit cards. I guess to see where you were.  
  
"And to make sure you see a doctor. It sounded like he didn't trust the ones in Italy."  
  
The tears were still rolling down her cheeks. "He said to tell you to call him. And that he was sorry. Both of them were sorry for everything." He hugged her again. "And he said he loved you. Okay?"  
  
She nodded, tears rolling down her face, while Roger kept hugging her. But what he just told her kept running through his brain. Carlton did say he loved Cass. He told them so last night. A few times. Carlton told both him and Mark that he loved Cass. Like he wanted to make sure that they knew that he loved her. That they understood that he loved Cass. He did tell them that. He told them a lot. He told them a lot of things to tell her. But of all the stuff he told Roger and Mark to tell Cass, that wasn't one of them. He never did say tell Cass I love her.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
They sat there like that for awhile before Cass let go of Roger and leaned back against the wall. They sat there not talking for a few more minutes. Cass kept wiping her eyes on the edge of the sheet till they finally stopped leaking.  
  
"Where's Mark?" She finally asked, in a hoarse, cried out voice.  
  
"He's gone already. He had a shoot or something like that today. He had to go, it was the first day of it. He wanted to stay, but he couldn't." Roger suddenly felt really guilty. He was the one that made Mark go.  
  
"No it's okay. I'm glad he went. If he cancelled it because of me I'd be really pissed at him."  
  
Roger started laughing.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"Well, he wanted to cancel it last night, but I told him that he had to go. That if you found out later he cancelled it because of you, you would be, and I quote, really pissed at him."  
  
Cass laughed a little. Good Roger thought, keep this going and maybe I'll actually be able to get her out of this room today. He looked at his watch. "Come on, let's get up. It's almost 9:30 and I'm starving. You should be too. The last thing you ate was a bagel yesterday around noon." He got up out of the bed.  
  
"I'm okay. I'm not really hungry." And she started to slide back down under the sheet. "Maybe I'll just sleep in a while longer."  
  
Uh oh, here we go. Roger knew he had to get her out of the bedroom. He'll work on the actual apartment later. "Nope. You're getting up! You've already ruined my image as a introverted recluse in, what did you call it?"  
  
"Self imposed exile." She grinned.  
  
"Right. So now that you've ruined my image as a introverted recluse in self imposed exile, now you have to keep me company!" And he yanked at the sheet she was trying to pull over her head.  
  
"Not today. Sorry." She reached for the sheet.  
  
"Nope. Get up." He yanked the sheet again and it flew off the end of the bed.  
  
"Roger cut it out. Please." Cass rolled over and pulled a pillow over her head.  
  
"No. You got to get out of bed. At least come have coffee with me in the other room. Otherwise I'll have to sit her and annoy you all day.  
  
"What are you taking lessons from Mark or something?" She asked without moving the pillow. "I would expect this from him. You I figured would at least understand the fact I've had a crappy few days and I just want to lay in bed for a few more hours.  
  
Roger ignored what she said. He flopped down hard on the bed and got a serious look on his face. "Listen Cass, you gotta get up and at least go in the other room. After last night you have to. Trust me. I know." She just lay there, not moving at all. Roger couldn't see her face, just the pillow, moving up and down as she breathed.  
  
"I mean all things considered your doing great. I mean you walked out of a hospital, got on a plane and just showed up here. Which took a hell of a lot of guts and all, but see I know how you did it. I've done it. You just push it all under and make it go away. And it works, but only for awhile. Roger's eyes went back to the mattress and his finger began tracing the pattern in the sheet again. "Only till somebody comes along and forces you to remember, or deal or go on living. And then it all comes flooding back like a ton of bricks and hurts like hell all over again. And it's something you can't escape. There is always something that will do it. And if you think you can avoid it, you're fooling yourself. Especially living here. Or more accurately living here with Mark I should say.  
  
"Trust me, on that I know. But I know he's right too. I know you don't want to think about it. Any of it. Last night. The other night. Everything having to do with it. But you got to go on. We both do. We can't sit around feeling sorry for ourselves and waiting to die. And I know none of this is easy. But if you don't get out of this bed today, it's even harder to get out, and easier to stay in tomorrow. I know it is."  
  
Roger watched her left hand go under the pillow. He had a feeling she was wiping away tears again. He gently laid a hand on her back and just sat there with her for a few minutes.  
  
"Does it ever go away?" Came the voice from under the pillow.  
  
"Sure. I guess. Supposedly." He paused to think about that for a second. "No, it does somewhat. I mean I know it gets better. Eventually. But not if you stay in here forever."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
It took a few more minutes, but Cass finally got up out of bed. "Is this what I have to look forward to forever if I stay here?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Roger asked as he opened the bedroom door.  
  
"Mark's pep talks, condensed and put into cliff note form, delivered by you? What's that?" She pointed at he piece of paper taped to the outside of the doorframe at eye level.  
  
"Hey, at least you get my version. I have to listen to the original cast recording, in it's entirely." He laughed as he pulled down the paper. "I'm guessing this, yep, is a note from Mark. Big surprise. Hey you want place bets on how long he holds out before he calls and checks up on us? Actually the good bet is which of our friends he gets to do it and how long he makes it before talking someone into it. I'm betting 1:30 and, no wait, I have to work you into the equation. Lets see, going on ten now, so he's already arguing with himself about calling. I'll say 11:30 and I'm gonna guess he makes Jen do it. Yep. Final answer is Mark calls Jen by 11:30. Jen calls and checks up on us by 2 p.m."  
  
Cass was laughing at him. Partially because she thought it was funny and partially because she could see all this happening with Mark. "Does he really call to check on up on you? I mean what does he think?"  
  
"He thinks I'm about eight I think. Please, in the beginning he called almost every two hours to check up on me. Sometimes I think he lives for it though. I mean when me and Mimi were together, and we were doing really good, Mark was totally off. I mean I know now part of it was I was totally blowing him off, which I know I shouldn't have done. But the other part was, he just didn't know what to do with himself. He had no one to worry about or take care of for awhile. I almost got him a puppy one day it got so bad. Mimi talked me out of that though. But Mark I think almost lives for it. I guess that's why he can put up with Maureen so well. He needs drama in his life!"  
  
Just then Roger's watch alarm went off. "I mean perfect example!" He turned off his watch. "Somewhere in New York City Mark's watch is beeping. I mean I love him and all, and yes I don't have the best track record at remembering to take my pills. But I'm not a 10-year-old who needs his mommy to remind him! I mean really! Do you realize--"  
  
"Roger." She cut him off.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What were you going to do?" She smiled at him.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"What are you supposed to do now?"  
  
"Oh yeah, Mark's note." He started to open it and read it.  
  
"No dork! Take your pills!" She started laughing at him.  
  
He looked at her, laughing like that and couldn't help laughing too. "Okay, okay, point taken! Mark the Second!"  
  
"What's the note say?" She asked as they walked towards the kitchen.  
  
"It says 'Hey. Figured you were getting tired of bagels. Went shopping for milk and cereal.' Cool. That means we at least have breakfast. 'Also got the paper for Cass to read'." Roger opened the refrigerator and pulled out a half empty half gallon of skim milk. "Yuck. This means he didn't go to the grocery store. He went to grocery store of Jen. I bet he stole her paper too. See if the horoscopes are circled. If so, it's hers. Just so you know, we are only getting away with this cause you're here. Otherwise, no way she'd let either of us steal as much from her.  
  
"Anyway. Then he says to talk to you about he money. Find out about your insurance so you can go to the doctor. Oh he puts cast, stitches and glasses next to that in parentheses. Like I can't figure out why you need to go to the doctor." Roger rolled his eyes and shakes his head.  
  
"What about the money?"  
  
"He wants to know what you want to do with it." Roger kept reading. "Shit, that's right. First Tuesday of the month. Everyone's gong to drop their rent money off here. Which isn't so bad. But Benny will come by tomorrow to pick it up. That sucks."  
  
He goes back to the note and reads some more. "Oh he is a total jackass and I'm gonna have to smack him when he gets home!"  
  
He was trying to be mad, but Cass could tell he was amused. "What now?"  
  
"Dipshit! 'If it's okay with Cass, maybe we can buy some groceries to have at the house with some of that money. Why don't the two of you write up a grocery list.' Then he goes on to say 'Roger ask Cass, she can explain what a grocery list is and how it works to you'. That's it. I'm gonna have to smack him!" 


	13. 13

A/N I usually forget to write these, and only remember after I've already posted it. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed it so far. Please keep them coming. This chapter is really more character exploration than anything. It's setting up for future issues.  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 13  
  
  
  
"Quick Print and Copy. If you can make it, we can recreate it. This is Maureen, how can I help you?"  
  
"Oh Baby! It's sexy talk like that that makes me really miss you. You ever decide to come back to liking guys, I'd take you back in a heartbeat, but only if you wear that little apron and talk copy store talk all the time."  
  
"Loser! I already know you'd take me back in a heartbeat!"  
  
"True. I ought to make this better for me. Why don't we have Cass teach you French, then you can do that copy store talk with a cute little French accent."  
  
"Right! Whatever." She laughed into the phone. "Some of us have real jobs Mark. What do you want?"  
  
"Lunch. I'm like six blocks from you and I have about two hours of down time while the guy I'm working on this thing for has to run out to an appointment. What are you doing for lunch?"  
  
"Eating peanut butter and an apple in the breakroom at 11:30. But considering I know these little aprons get you all hot and bothered, I guess you can join me. Bring me something chocolate. 'Kay?"  
  
"Yeah. See you then." Mark hung up the pay phone and went back to walking through various shots with Tony.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
"Yuck! How can she drink this stuff? I mean it looks blue when you pour it on cereal."  
  
"You could always have another bagel. I'm sure yesterday's aren't that rock hard yet."  
  
"Is that that famous French humor? Is that why you all like Jerry Lewis so much?"  
  
They were sitting on the couch, eating cereal, drinking coffee and reading the paper. "Hey, I may be part French, but I don't like Jerry Lewis!" Cass said as she kicked him gently with her foot. "Speaking of that, do you know where my passport is?"  
  
"Yeah, Mark put it--"  
  
"No don't tell me. As long as someone other than just Mark knows. You know, just in case." She shrugged. "Roger?" She got quiet. "Do you think they'll come back?"  
  
He got serious as the storm clouds crossed over his green eyes. "I don't know Cass. I mean I don't know them. I can tell they are used to getting their own way. And used to throwing money around to get it. But I don't know them well enough. I don't think they'd kidnap you or anything if that's what you mean. But they might try and make your life difficult."  
  
"That's a possibility for sure."  
  
"Maybe we need to register you at the French embassy or something like they do in the movies."  
  
"Actually, I have more rights here than Andre. I have dual citizenship. He only has French."  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
"Well, I'd like to think it was because my father was American and his family was here and all, but truthfully, I think it was a business move."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"A month or so before I was born my parents came over to America. Supposedly on a holiday before they had me. Well, if you wait around long enough, babies arrive. So I was born here, but my mother was French, and we were only 'visiting' the US at the time. So I got a dual citizenship. I know they planned it that way. It's easier to own property and investments in America when you are American. Cheaper tax wise too. So my being born here was all part of the big business plan." She shrugged.  
  
"There has been stuff registered under a company I supposedly own for years. But I only own it on paper. Like I said, all part of the big plan. Sometimes I wonder if the whole purpose of my being born was part of the whole big plan too."  
  
Roger could see the sadness cross over her face. "I'm sorry Cass."  
  
"Do you have any idea what it's like to be ignored and forgotten about until somebody needs you for something?"  
  
"Only from seeing stuff like that at Mark's house. He was like invisible to his dad. Unless he fucked up that is. But no, at my house you strove for invisibility and to be ignored. When my father forgot about you, it was a good thing."  
  
Cass just looked at him for a second. "Oh Roger. I'm sorry. I completely forgot about all that."  
  
"How would you even know about that?" He was confused.  
  
"Mark. How else? You have to remember there have been a lot of years and a lot of letters. About a lot of stuff. Some of it was pretty intense. Stuff I bet neither of us would ever have said out loud, not even to each other. But it's so much easier on paper. When you don't have to look at the other person when you are talking. You know?"  
  
"Yeah, actually I do." He just looked at her for a second before continuing. "But listen Cass, I don't want you to worry about all this stuff okay? Because we aren't going to let them do anything you don't want. I won't let them. I promise. Okay?" He looked her straight in the eye as he spoke.  
  
Cass held his gauze. "Okay. Roger I never could have gotten through the last few days without you. Thank you." She hugged him. "Really not without you." Then after a second or two Cass added. "Either of you."  
  
Roger hugged her back but was thinking about what she just said. The last part, the "either of you" part got caught on the edge of his brain. There was something wrong with it. Maybe not wrong, just different with it. Almost like it was an afterthought she added into the sentence.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
"Come on, I know you too well. Admit it, late at night when no one's here, you copied your butt! Admit it Mo!"  
  
"Shut up and sit down before someone hears you! That's just what I need. Please! So where is my chocolate?"  
  
"Right here." He said, holding out a chocolate brownie with chocolate frosting. "But first," he pulled it out of her reach, "I need a favor."  
  
"Figures. Can I eat lunch first? How's Cass? Jen told me about last night."  
  
"Hopefully not learning the finer pints of anti social reclusive behavior."  
  
"Obviously left home alone with Roger. Who by the way was definitely acting a little strange, for Roger that is the other night. I mean was it me or did he actually ask if anyone wanted to go with him to the airport for her luggage? I almost asked him if he realized that JFK was not located within that building!"  
  
"Yeah, I noticed. That was pretty cool."  
  
"Sort of like the old Roger."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well they seem to be getting along well." She got that devilish smirk on her face. "Very well considering she's your girlfriend."  
  
"She's not my girlfriend, we're just friends. That's all."  
  
"Right. Whatever you say Marky."  
  
"Okay, moving on to my favor."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Well, I want to make sure everything is okay at home, but if I call."  
  
"Roger will know your checking up on them, which we all know you actually are."  
  
"Not the point. Besides it's not checking up on, it's just making sure I don't end up with two hermits who hate the world instead of just the one. So." He gave her a big pathetic grin.  
  
"You want me to do it. Like I just call up and socialize with Roger so much. Don't get me wrong, I like him and all, now at least. And our relationship has come a long way from when we first met, but he's still going to know you are checking up on him."  
  
"He'll never know. Just tell him Jen told you about last night, you want to find out how Cass is and what they are doing today and all. Try and find out if he got her out of bed, you know. I mean you're supposed to be an actress remember? Act like your calling on your own. Not checking up."  
  
"Fine, I'll do it. But only because I do like Cass. And I want to know if she's okay. Spending the entire day with Roger could be detrimental to anyones mental health. Unless of course he started turning over a new leaf."  
  
"Actually," Mark began, "there is something else I need to tell you, and ask you I guess. Out of the blue yesterday he decided it was time to do something with Mimi's stuff."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes, and he said Cass might be able to use some of it. He wants me to go through it, pull out anything Cass might need or be able to use and do something with the rest of it. And then Cass will have a place for her stuff."  
  
"He said that? All on his own? No pushing from anyone?" Maureen was amazed.  
  
"Yes. He wants me to take care of it. I wasn't overly keen on the whole thing, but I'll do it for him of course."  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Well I think he realized that and said maybe I should ask you to help me. So would you?"  
  
"Oh wow. Yeah I can help you Marky. I wouldn't want you having to do that alone."  
  
"Thanks Mo."  
  
She reached for the phone and dialed the loft. When it started ringing, she began to unwrap her brownie.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
When the phone started ringing at the loft, Roger looked at his watch. "Wow, it's only a little after noon. Mark must be more worried about you than I thought. Or worried about leaving you alone with me." He smiled at her, "teaching you my bad habits and all." He picked up the phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Hey Rog. How are you guys doing?"  
  
"Maureen." He smiled and shook his head. "I figured you were Jen."  
  
"Well she told me about last night. How's Cass?"  
  
"She's okay."  
  
"So what are you guys doing?"  
  
"Oh you know, not much. Just teaching her the best ways to fill time when you plan on never leaving the apartment again. You know, count ceiling tiles, star blankly at walls, surf through every channel three times without watching a thing. You know usual everyday stuff around here." Roger was having a hard time not laughing into the phone at her.  
  
"What! What are you talking about?"  
  
"Relax, I'm just kidding." Now he was laughing into the phone. "Tell Mark she's fine. We ate breakfast, everyone took the appropriate pills and now she's reading the paper and I'm working on a song."  
  
"What do you mean 'tell Mark'? I was just calling to see how you, I mean Cass was."  
  
"Right. So did he con you into it over the phone, or come see you on lunch? I was betting it would be Jen, and later today. Good thing I didn't put money down."  
  
"No, he's sitting right here eating lunch with me. I told him you'd know! But I'm glad everything is going good."  
  
"Thanks Mo. We'll talk to you later."  
  
"Okay, bye. Hey Roger?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"It's good to hear you laughing again."  
  
"Yeah it kinda is. Thanks Mo. Tell Mark we said goodbye." He hung up the phone.  
  
"Okay, now that Mark's little call is done, I suppose I should take care of some of the stuff on his list. Okay?"  
  
"Yes, I guess. I really want to take a shower though. I never got that far yesterday. And well, we know how Sunday turned out." She lifted her arm some. "I wonder if you can spray air freshener into a cast. This thing is a little stinky from getting wet."  
  
"Well, we can tape a grocery bag on your arm this time. We probably should get it checked out though. Maybe get a new one put on. Where's your insurance card? I'll see if I can find out who you're covered by for around here."  
  
"Um, I don't know about a card. What do you mean who I'm covered by?"  
  
"Like which HMO you have and which doctors work for them. Who's your insurance carrier?"  
  
"I don't know. I don't know if I have one really."  
  
"Okay, you said you had insurance right?"  
  
"Oh yeah, life insurance, and lots of business insurance and my investments are protected."  
  
He started to laugh a little. "Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
Roger found the whole thing really funny. He was trying hard not to laugh out loud. He didn't want her to think he was laughing at her, but the whole thing was pretty amusing. Here was this little rich girl, whose relatives carry over $9000 cash on them, and she doesn't even know if she has health insurance. She doesn't even really know what it is. She may have grown up with money, but in some ways, he thought, she could be no different from some of the people around here. Except she did have money. He shook his head.  
  
"Okay, whenever you went to the doctor, or got sick or whatever what did you do?"  
  
"Just called the doctor."  
  
"Uh huh? And then what?"  
  
"I don't know, with the exception of the car accident and rehab, I haven't seen a doctor in a long time. When I was living at home, anytime I got sick the doctor came to the house. Usually he just left me something. All the other times, like when I needed stitches or x rays, he would either send me to the ER or the ambulance took me."  
  
"All the other times? Jesus Cass what else happened to you?"  
  
"Just stuff." She shrugged. Her eyes went to the ground.  
  
"Uh huh?"  
  
"Just, you know, stuff. You know how it is, I drank, I did drugs, other people around me did drugs, and stuff. So stuff happened."  
  
Roger got the hint that she did not want to talk about it, but that there was definitely more than "just stuff" happening. "You okay?"  
  
"Yeah." She said softly as she wiped away a tear. "I just, well, wouldn't you think it was a little odd if your kid was always having 'accidents' and stuff happening to them? Or hung over at 13? Or ending up in rehab before they could even drive?"  
  
"Yeah, I would I guess." He watched her for a second. "What happened?"  
  
"Just a lot of stuff." She shrugged, looking at the floor. "A lot of party accidents I guess."  
  
"Oh." Roger looked away, thinking back to his own party days.  
  
"I mean, I didn't, I don't know. Anton liked to party. He liked to take me with him. I think I was like his little party trick in the beginning. I should have stayed away from him from the start. I would have been a whole lot better off."  
  
"So why didn't you?" Roger heard the words leave his mouth. He didn't know why he asked. It's something Mark would ask. Mark had asked him that, or a variation of that many times over the years. Roger never had a good answer for him. Maybe that was why he asked her. To see if she had an answer.  
  
"I don't know." She shrugged again. "I guess, because Anton was the only person who paid any attention to me. It was easy to just go with him and do what he wanted. At least he wanted me around. After a while, you know, you get a habit. By the time I figured out Anton was a nasty drunk, and a nastier when he was hurting, it was too late. I was hooked. And it was too easy to come by out there, so why quit?"  
  
"Yeah. I know." He shook his head.  
  
"I don't want to talk about this. About all that."  
  
"Okay. Sorry."  
  
"It's okay. You didn't know. What were we talking about before?"  
  
"Um. about when you went to the doctor." He watched an expression he couldn't name come over her eyes. "About your insurance."  
  
"Oh, right. Insurance."  
  
"Okay, so getting back to that. So you like never had to fill out paperwork, submit forms or crap like that?"  
  
"No. I guess not."  
  
"Wow. It must be nice to have money." Roger realized as the words left his mouth and the look crossed her face it was the wrong thing to say. He thought through everything she'd told him over the last few days. Not once had she really mentioned having money or being rich. They all knew it of course. You couldn't have lead her life and not be rich, but she never brought it up that way. Never threw it in their faces. "I'm sorry Cass. I shouldn't have said that. It's just a concept way beyond most people around here."  
  
"It's okay." She looked back down at the floor.  
  
"Well, since you've got it, we should use it, at least for this. I mean your dad did say to tell you to use your credit cards. We could use them to take you to the doctor, get your stitches out and get you new glasses. There isn't a doctor's office in this city that won't take credit cards. And we do need to get your stitches out and stuff. Would that be okay?"  
  
"Yes. We can do that."  
  
"Okay. I'll call Joanne. She's got real insurance. I'm sure she can tell us who to call and I'll get you an appointment." Roger reached for the phone to call Joanne at work.  
  
"Wait!"  
  
Roger looked up. Cass had this funny look on her face. "What are you going to tell them? I mean it already seems like half of New York and half of Italy already know everything. I would kind of like to stop the world from finding out." She was on the verge of tears.  
  
"God Cass, I'm sorry. I never thought of that. We never thought of that. And you're right, we just sort of dumped you and everything right in front of everybody. God Mark and I are idiots!"  
  
"No that's not what I mean. Well sort of, but it's okay about Collins and Maureen and everyone. I mean they're your friends. And they were here when Carlton and Andre showed up. And I'm really glad about that, believe me. I just don't want anyone else to know. Do you understand?"  
  
"Yeah, I do. How about this, I'll get you an appointment for the end of the week. Most of the bruises on your face should be almost gone. We do have to have your arm and ribs checked and get your stitches out. Not to mention the super glue. But we can just say you were mugged. Tell them you got hit in the head, kicked in the ribs and your arm broke. I mean this is New York. They would have to believe that."  
  
"Okay." She was somewhat relieved. A small smile crept across her face. "I can't believe I let you super glue my head. I can't believe Mark let you!"  
  
"Yeah well, you weren't saying much at the time, and well, you know Mark. He was turning a little green." Roger laughed.  
  
"I wish they could have just done that all the other times I needed stitches in my head and everywhere else. It hurts less!"  
  
"All the other times? How many times have you had stitches?" He asked, forgetting she didn't want to discuss all that.  
  
"A bunch I guess." She was getting quit again. "Like I said, stuff happened." Her eyes went to the ground again.  
  
"I'm sorry. I understand. I really do. Why don't we tape up your arm and you can take a shower and I'll call Joanne. And don't wash your hair, we're almost out of super glue!" He laughed.  
  
"Ha Ha. But I really wanted to wash it."  
  
"Well, we could, um, or I could um," Roger paused. For some reason he was starting to feel a little nervous over this whole thing. That was not like him. Get it together Davis. She's like Mark's sorta girlfriend. Sorta, but not really. But it doesn't matter, you're done with women. "I could call Jen." Yeah, that's it. "I'll call her. She'll wash your hair for you. That way we don't have to worry about he stitches. Okay?"  
  
Cass nodded and after Roger water proofed her cast she went to take a shower while he called Joanne, the doctor's and Jen.  
  
  
  
***** 


	14. 14

A/N Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. It keeps me typing!  
  
CHAPTER 14  
  
  
  
"What did you tell him I was here for? Now he'll know I was checking up on them!"  
  
"Get over it Mark, Roger already knew. Actually he figured you would con Jen into doing it and was expecting the call later, but my lunch hour is earlier than hers!"  
  
"Oh. He really knew?"  
  
"Knew and was expecting it."  
  
"So what did he say?"  
  
"To tell you he was teaching her his anti social behavior and how to live in the loft forever."  
  
"What!"  
  
"That's what he told me to tell you." She laughed at him. She still knew which buttons to push. "Actually, after that he said to tell you she was fine. They ate breakfast, took their pills and she was reading the paper and he was working on a song."  
  
"Really? A song? He was working on one?"  
  
"Don't sound so shocked Mark. He is a musician. They do tend to do that." She picked at the rest of her brownie.  
  
"Not lately. Not Roger. All I've heard out of that stupid guitar for months is him playing with it like he's trying to tune it. He hasn't really played it in a long time. Forget actually trying to write something."  
  
"What are you talking about? His band plays every week?"  
  
"Yeah. He goes. He plays. He's done. Period. He was always playing that thing. Remember? Always either practicing or trying to come up with something. You know. Even messed up he'd try and play. But now, lately, nothing. No passion. No feeling. No Roger in it."  
  
"Well he said he was working on a song. Maybe she inspired him or something."  
  
"Maybe. If anyone could do that, Cass could."  
  
"So I've heard. Over and over and over again."  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
"Nothing." She played with the plastic wrap from her brownie.  
  
"Mo are you okay? I mean you just seem different. Everything okay with Joanne?" Mark asked hesitantly.  
  
"Oh yeah, we're doing fine. As fine as we do I guess. I haven't really seen her in a while really. She has been working long hours with this Washington thing going on. And then she's just beat when she gets home at night."  
  
"What's going on with you though? I haven't heard you mention any auditions in awhile."  
  
"That's because I haven't really gone on any in a while. I've been really busy here at the shop."  
  
"I thought you took this job because the hours were so good for auditions?"  
  
"They were, when I was just doing copy work and a little bit of design stuff. But then they promoted me to assistant manager over the design area. Those hours are a lot more locked in. No real time to audition." She shrugged.  
  
"I'm sorry Mo." Mark truly meant it.  
  
"It bothered me at first, but then I realized, I'm actually pretty good at this. I mean I really like the design end of it. Banners, signs, business cards are okay, but I've made some killer invitations and stuff." She was smiling as she spoke of them. "And I'm a pretty good manager too. Once I learned even as a manager I can't always have my own way."  
  
"That's great!"  
  
"And the money is pretty good too. Nothing great like Joanne or if I had ever become worldly famous. But decent I guess. Better than just picking up Joanne's dry cleaning as Jen says. "And let's face it, I wasn't getting anywhere fast as an actress or performance artist. I wasn't even getting anywhere slow!"  
  
She laughed at her own joke but Mark wondered how true it all was. She seemed happy. Definitely happier than she had in awhile. And so much less over bearing and easier to deal with lately too. "I'm glad you're doing so well Maureen. I really am."  
  
Maureen smiled at Mark and was about to say something when one of the girls from the front stepped into the break room. " 'Reen I need you to look at something for me."  
  
"I'm on my lunch break."  
  
"No you were on that ten minutes ago. Now you're just loafing in the back on the clock." The girl teased her.  
  
Mark mouthed the word 'Reen to her and gave her a questioning look. Maureen shot one back that said don't ask.  
  
"Okay, okay I'm coming. Marky, I gotta go. My public awaits me."  
  
From down the hall Mark heard a man call to the girl in the doorway. "Hey ask 'Reen how many colors are in the $49.95 special?"  
  
"Just tell him I'm coming. Mark lovely lunch. Phone call went just like I told you it would, but apparently, leaving the kids home without a sitter seems to be going fine. But next time if all else fails, there is always that lock them in the closet with enough food and water to keep them quiet and well-behaved option. And up until recently, I think Roger would have enjoyed that. Hey who knows, he may still enjoy that, provided we lock him in with the right person!" She winked at him.  
  
Mark was about to ask her what she could possibly be talking about when the man's voice from down the hall hollered to her again. "Hey 'Reen, I really need your help."  
  
"Okay I'm coming. And Marky, you're going. I'll call you tonight. Bye sweetie."  
  
"Okay. And I am glad you're doing so good. And thanks for calling for me. I'll talk to you tonight, 'Reen!"  
  
"That's it! Out!"  
  
****  
  
  
  
"Okay. Wednesday at 10am. Thanks." Roger hung up the phone, just as Cass opened the bathroom door. He looked up and saw her step out of the bathroom. She had a towel wrapped around her and her hair pulled up and tied in a ponytail. She was trying to pull the tape and plastic bag off her cast.  
  
Roger couldn't help but watch her. She had incredible legs. Real long and tan. And the way she walked and moved. He realized he was staring at her when he heard her talking to him. "What? Sorry. What did you say?"  
  
"I said can you help me get this tape off?"  
  
"Oh, yeah sure. Sorry." Roger walked over to her and started to undo the tape and remove the bag from her cast. "Did it stay dry this time?"  
  
"I think so."  
  
"Um, good." Roger kept looking at her in that towel and trying to find anywhere else to look, but his eyes kept coming back to her in that towel. "Um, I called Joanne. She gave me her doctor's office and I got you an appointment for tomorrow. Best I could do in less than four weeks. Sorry."  
  
"That's okay. Where is it?"  
  
"Um, not too far. We can take the subway. Me and Mark will take you, don't worry."  
  
"Okay." She just stood there.  
  
Okay Davis stop staring at her in the towel. "Um Cass, you need some more clothes? You want me to find you something?"  
  
"Oh no, I grabbed something off your bed before I took a shower. You don't mind do you?"  
  
"No, you can wear whatever you want. Boxers, shirts. Just take whatever. Whatever you want." Roger realized he sounded like an idiot.  
  
"Thanks Roger." Cass turned around and walked back into Mark's room.  
  
Christ, Roger thought, is she stays here and keeps walking around in towels, it'll never matter if she uses up all the hot water. I'll never take a hot shower again. He shook his head. Oh this is bad. She's Mark's girlfriend. Try and remember that idiot. Well sort of Mark's girlfriend. Well, Mark's old girlfriend. Like a bunch of years ago.  
  
Wait. It doesn't matter. Girlfriend, old girlfriend, or even sort of girlfriend. It doesn't matter remember Davis. You swore off women. Forever. Or at least the rest of your forever, however long that may be. Especially this one. The last thing she would ever need is you. She's got enough crap to deal with, without getting anywhere near your baggage Davis.  
  
Besides, it doesn't matter what you think. She's Mark's girlfriend. Mark's your best friend. Your supposed to be working on doing better at that, remember? The last thing you need to do is piss off your best friend, remember? That's his girlfriend, remember? And you swore off women, remember? After Mimi, no more women. No more getting hurt. No more hurting them. No more women. Ever.  
  
Besides, she didn't need the hassles of dealing with you, remember? Excessive Roger baggage, your remember your baggage, right dummy? Besides, she's Mark's girlfriend, remember? Your best friend's girlfriend, remember? Well, maybe his sorta girlfriend. Or ex-sort of girlfriend. Or actually just old girlfriend, sort of.  
  
You know Mark's your best friend. You should be able to ask him anything, right? So maybe you just ask him where he stands on this whole girlfriend, sort of girlfriend, ex-girlfriend thing.  
  
Not that it matters to you, because you swore off women, remember? But it might be good information to have, just in case. You never know who's gonna ask you about that, because your Mark's best friend, so technically you should know this stuff about Mark, right? Right. Ask Mark where he stands on the girlfriend thing. Just so you know. Just in case anyone asks you. But not for you, because you swore off women, remember?  
  
Roger was still sitting at the counter on the barstool. He was shaking his head as if to clear it. "Oh this is pathetic Davis. Mark is right, you got to get out of the house more!"  
  
"What?" Cass said as she walked out of the bedroom. She had gotten dressed and was wearing a white sports bra and a pair of Roger's boxers that said CBGB's across the butt, slung low across her hips. She was carrying the ace bandages and a tee shirt as she walked into the living room.  
  
"Um, oh nothing. I was just talking to myself. Just ignore me." Please ignore me, I'm an idiot.  
  
She set the tee shirt and bandages down on the counter. "Can you re-wrap my ribs for me?"  
  
"Um, yeah, sure." Roger pulled the other barstool out for her to sit down on. He knew he was tall enough that he could stand behind her and see what he was doing as he passed the bandages from one hand to the other in front of her by looking over her shoulder. Of course as he started to do this, it also meant he was looking straight down into her sports bra. "They look, I mean your ribs look better. Not as bruised as they did."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Oh yeah, actually all of them look better. They seem to be healing up pretty quick."  
  
"That's from these vitamins I had. I mean I haven't taken any since I've been here, but I've been taking them for years. It was hard to tell if they worked." She sort of laughed, but it was a kind of twisted, forced laugh Roger thought. "I haven't been this banged up since my car accident."  
  
"What do you mean?" Roger stopped rolling the bandages around her.  
  
"I've got vitamins to make bruises heal up faster. I've been taking them forever. Since I was like 13 or 14 I guess."  
  
"Wait, you mean some doctor gave you special vitamins, specifically for that? Why?"  
  
"Well," she shrugged and got quieter. "I used to have a lot of accidents and stuff."  
  
There was that and stuff part again. What the hell has happened to her all these years?  
  
Cass continued. "And Andre didn't think that looked good. So he got a specialist to give me vitamins. To prevent bruising and heal them quicker."  
  
Roger wasn't sure if he should say what he was thinking or not, but he did anyway. "So you mean to tell me you were always messed up and all your uncle cared about was how it looked to everyone?"  
  
Cass shrugged and her eyes went to the ground. "Like I said, family business. Image is everything. Business is business."  
  
"But no one thought it was strange? Nobody tried to find out why? Nobody did anything?" Nobody realized it was that bastard Anton? Nobody did anything to stop him? Roger thought.  
  
Without lifting her eyes up to him she answered. "No, I guess not. Are you done? I need to check my email. And we still need to write out a grocery list for Mark too."  
  
"Yeah, I'm done." Roger said finishing up. He just sat there looking at her for a few seconds. "Cass?" She still didn't look up at him. "I'm sorry."  
  
Cass' deep brown eyes raised up to look into his green one. "Thanks, Roger. Really, I mean it. For all of it." She got up off the stool and walked into the bedroom to find her computer.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Cass came out of the bedroom talking on her phone and carrying a legal pad. "Gia don't worry about it. No one is getting fired. Not me, and especially not you. If you want to leave, I understand. I'll make sure you get incredible references and great severance pay. But if you stay, you can take over my position for location travel."  
  
"I know, I know. Look can we just drop this and take care of some business for awhile?"  
  
"Okay, you'll have to finish out the project." She looked at her notes as she sat on the couch, putting her feet up on the milk crates.  
  
Roger was sitting in the armchair playing his guitar. When she came out, he just watched her. He knew she was talking to her assistant Giavanna. Probably in Italy. She was like a whole different person on the phone. It reminded him of Joanne when she has to take business calls while out with them. He just sat there listening to her. He didn't have a clue what she was talking about, but he didn't really care.  
  
"Okay, so once you get that taken care of, you'll be all done. You decide what you want to do. If you stay, he'll make it worth it for you, I know."  
  
"No, don't worry about me. It doesn't matter what I do, it will work out. There may be a few corporate hissie fits, but they will all get over it. And Andre can't do anything to me through the company. He wouldn't dare."  
  
"Because I know too much. He'll be too scared he and Carlton taught me too much. Besides he thinks I know where all his dirty little secrets are buried."  
  
After a few more minutes she hung up her cell phone. Roger had been watching her the whole time. He couldn't help thinking how tired she looked. He tried to lighten the mood. "Wow. I'll make sure everyone knows not to mess with you on any corporate ventures." He teased.  
  
"Yeah well, you know what they call us high powered corporate women types." She paused and smiled at him. "Super corporate bitches!"  
  
"Well, maybe not that bad. But can I ask you a question?" She nodded and he continued. "What you said about Andre's dirty little secrets, is that true?"  
  
"I don't know. I guess. There's stuff I'm sure. And I could find it easily enough if I looked. Right now it's really just a blank threat if I need to use it." Her eyes dropped down. "Sort of."  
  
"What do you mean sort of?"  
  
"Well, off the top of my head I can't think of anything. But Andre doesn't know that. I just get the feeling he'd believe it no problem. But more importantly, I think it would work for another reason."  
  
"What's that?" Roger asked her.  
  
"I don't know." She was playing with the seam on the arm of the couch. "I just sort of think that maybe, you know maybe, I'm one of his dirty little secrets. At least now."  
  
Roger didn't know what to say to her. He had a feeling she was right. He also knew that was a lousy thing to be right about. He was about to tell her that when the phone rang. She got up and walked to the counter to answer it.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Wow, what a concept, someone other than me actually answering the phone, instead of screening!"  
  
"Hey Marky. You checking up on us again?" She asked into the phone.  
  
Roger couldn't help but laugh at her for that one.  
  
"Obviously, I'm too late, Roger's already corrupted you. Other than that how are you?"  
  
"I'm fine, really. No problem."  
  
Liar, Roger thought.  
  
"Well, Tony cancelled the rest of this afternoon, so I'm gonna finish up here and be home by four. Did you guys write up the grocery list?"  
  
"Grocery list?" She shot a look at Roger. "Oh yes, it's right here. Roger already finished his part and I'm working on part right now."  
  
"Great. Is it okay with you if we use some of that money for food and stuff?"  
  
"Use it for whatever you want."  
  
"Thanks Cass. I'll see you around four, pick up the list and then go over to the store." Mark paused. "Do you want to come with me? I'll talk you for coffee."  
  
"To the store?" Her voice went up a pitch and Roger's head popped up to look at her. He had an idea as to what Mark was trying to do. Roger had been on the receiving end of Mark's attempts to get him out of the house too many times to count.  
  
"Um, I don't think so Mark. I'm really kind of tired. I might take a nap. And I've got a headache. And I'm not dressed yet. And-"  
  
"Cass. Cass it's okay." Mark cut her off. "It's okay. If you don't want to go out you don't have to. Alright?"  
  
"Yes. Sorry Mark."  
  
"It's okay. Stop saying Sorry. I'll see you around four. 'Kay?"  
  
"Okay. Bye sweetie." Cass hung up the phone  
  
Roger knew without even hearing Mark what he was trying to do. Get Cass to leave the loft. "You do realize," he started hoping to give her a push, "that if you don't go with him, he won't get any of it right. Mark isn't exactly the best shopper in the world."  
  
"He'll be fine. I have complete trust in him."  
  
Well so much for that working. "Great. You trust Mark and now I have to write a grocery list out, because you told him I already did. He won't get anything I write down you know."  
  
"Well, you go with him if you're so worried about it." She grinned at him.  
  
Damn, she knew what was going on. Beat at his own game. "I don't suppose writing 'get food' constitutes as a list, does it?"  
  
"Probably not." Cass laughed. "I think Mark will want more than that."  
  
"How about 'get food and beer'?" He joked with her.  
  
"Write the list Davis!"  
  
He was about to give her a hard time when the phone rang again. "What could he need to check on now?"  
  
Cass smiled as she answered the phone. "Hello?" She paused to listen. "Oh hello Mrs. Cohen."  
  
Oh no Cass, Roger thought. Whatever you do, never ask Mark's mom how she is. She'll tell you.  
  
"How are you?"  
  
Ew, too late.  
  
"No, I'm sorry but Mark's not here right now. Can I take a message?" She listened to her for a second. "Well, he'll be home around four this afternoon if you want to call him back then. Okay. Have a good day then. Goodbye."  
  
"Oh now you're in trouble." Roger laughed. "Rule number one, you never answer the phone. Rule number two, if you break rule one, you never talk to Mark's mom. And the biggest one, the biggest, and Mark's gonna kill you for this one, is if you ever break rules one and two, you never," Roger had to stop he was laughing so hard. "You never tell her when he'll be home to call back. Because he's never home at the time he says he will be, and she'll just keep calling every 15 minutes till she wears him down and talks to her!"  
  
"Ops! Oh well, he'll just have to talk to her and get it over with." She shrugged.  
  
"Oh well? Just talk to her? You are kidding right? You do realize we will be hearing about this all night now don't you?"  
  
"Oh she's not that bad!" She laughed.  
  
"Not that bad? She's crazy. More importantly, she's annoying beyond belief. You should hear some of the crap she leaves on our machine. Always going on about Cindy and her devil spawn. You just don't know." He told her shaking his head.  
  
"Okay, so she a little crazy. And tends to thing Cindy and Molly, especially Cindy can do no wrong. But she's not that bad."  
  
"You only say that because you've never had to deal with her."  
  
"Well she was okay, for the most part when I met her. Actually, Mark was the funny one that weekend." Cass started laughing a little thinking back on that.  
  
"What weekend? When did you meet his mom?" The song forgotten and the guitar abandoned on the floor. This was clearly more interesting.  
  
"I met his whole family when I went to Scaresdale. They are quite a trip, all of them."  
  
Roger was confused at this point. "When did you go to Scaresdale? Wait, better question, Miss World Traveler, why would you go to Scaresdale?"  
  
"For Cindy's wedding. I was Mark's date dork! Don't you listen to anything he says?"  
  
"I'm beginning to think I don't. I really got to work on that. You really went to her wedding?"  
  
"Yes. Actually I flew in like three days early. It was actually a lot of fun."  
  
"Scaresdale or the wedding?" He couldn't believe this.  
  
"Let's just say both were interesting. But Mark and I had fun. See I flew in early and met him at some hotel, but nowhere near the hotel the wedding was at. We just sort of hung out. No one knew we were even in town yet."  
  
"Mark went home and hid from his family for three days?"  
  
"Um, actually as much as possible come to think of it. We moved to the hotel the wedding was in on like Thursday. Well, every time he opened the door, before we left the room, he would check the hall first just to make sure none of them were around. He even had the desk clerk put us on an entirely different floor." She was laughing now. "But the best was when his mom would come knocking on the door. See she would always knock and start yelling 'Mark, its me, your mother. Mark are you in there'?"  
  
"Trust me, I've hear that routine before." He laughed, jerking a thumb towards the answering machine.  
  
"So we had to sit there, not making any noise till she went away. Which was hard because it was so funny. Once," She was really laughing now, "okay, I admit we had really been drinking at the rehearsal dinner, so I was kinda drunk, but she was so funny knocking on the door."  
  
"What happened?" Now Roger really wanted to know more.  
  
"Well she's knocking on the door and I'm starting to laugh and Mark's whispering don't let her hear you."  
  
"What? He didn't want his mommy to know he had you in his room? I mean he had to be like 20 when the evil princess got married. Only Mark." Roger was shaking his head in disbelief.  
  
"No, it wasn't that. I mean she knew I was staying there. I mean she came right out and asked Mark if he was sleeping with me. Or more accurately with 'that Katie girl' or maybe it was Casey that time. That woman couldn't remember my name to save her life."  
  
"What'd Mark do?" Roger laughed.  
  
"You mean other than turn bright red? Well he looked at her and his dad and say 'of course, what do you think I am a total idiot?' and then walked away."  
  
"You're kidding?" Roger was more than amazed at this point. He was about blown away by this news. Was this really Mark? His Mark?  
  
"Well anyway, it wasn't that he didn't want her to know I was there, but that either of us were there. So the funny thin is, okay now, we're drunk, and she's knocking and saying 'Mark, it's me, your mother. Are you in there?' I think she was a little toasted too by the way. So I'm laughing and Mark's got his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet, which is making me laugh harder and finally she hears us."  
  
"So what happened?"  
  
"Well, you have to understand we were going to go down to the pool, and Mark's only got his boxers on at this point cause we were changing."  
  
"Uh huh?"  
  
"So finally Mark gets up, flings the door open and yells at her 'Mom what do you want?' Which wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the boxers. And the fact that she had been knocking for like five minutes. And the fact that I was sitting in the bed, hugging a pillow to my chest to try and stop laughing. Plus I'm wearing this strapless dress, which is completely covered by the pillow so it looks like I've got nothing on."  
  
"Yeah, and?" Roger was wide eyed by now.  
  
"So the door flies open and here's Mark in his boxers and me in the bed, which you can see from the doorway, and his mother just sort of takes this whole thing in and says 'Uh, Mark your grandmothers wanted to say goodnight to you'."  
  
"You're kidding"  
  
"Nope. Door flies open and here is not only his mom, but his aunt too and they are walking the grandmother and great grandmother to their rooms."  
  
"Oh that's too good. I would have loved to see that. Then what happened?"  
  
"Well, I think his mom must have told his dad."  
  
"Who I'm sure was thrilled to hear he was getting laid, by a girl no less."  
  
"Behave! Anyway, I guess he told his uncles and some of his cousins because the next day at the wedding, they all kept coming up to him giving him that 'way to go buddy' thing guys do. It was either one of the best or worst experiences of his life. I'm still not sure to this day." She laughed.  
  
Roger couldn't help but think the same thing. As he watched her laugh all he could think of was way to go buddy.  
  
  
  
******* 


	15. 15

CHAPTER 15  
  
  
  
"You're late." Roger called from the chair in the living room area as Mark waked through the door with Jason. "And your mother called. Hey Jason."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"I just talked to her last week." He looked at the answering machine but didn't see the light blinking. "She didn't leave a message? How did you know it was her?"  
  
"Sorry Markie." Cass' voice yelled to them through the open bedroom door.  
  
"Your girlfriend answered the phone." Roger stated.  
  
"She's not my girlfriend."  
  
"I'm not his girlfriend." She yelled again from the bedroom.  
  
"Okay, so not your girlfriend answered the phone, chit chatted with your mom, asked her how she was and told her you'd be home around four."  
  
"Thanks Cass!" Mark rolled his eyes. "Now I gotta answer it or she'll just keep calling."  
  
"Sorry." She yelled to him.  
  
"Hey you never told me you took her, or anybody for that matter to the wedding of darkness."  
  
"Wedding of darkness?" Jason asked looking from one to the other.  
  
"My sister Cindy, the Evil Princess' wedding a few years ago." Mark explained to Jason. "And yes Roger I did tell you, you just didn't listen to me. Wait, why do you suddenly know that?"  
  
"Cass told me." Roger got an evil grin, partly because the wedding story was still amusing and partly because he knew it made Mark nervous and that was fun sometimes too.  
  
"Great. I see leaving the two of you alone together is more dangerous than I realized. What exactly did she tell you?"  
  
"All about it." Roger was laughing now.  
  
"Great! Thanks Cass!" Mark said as he walked to the bedroom.  
  
"Sorry!" Again from the bedroom.  
  
"So what are you doing here?" Roger asked Jason.  
  
"I have to look at Jen's computer. Who knows what she did this time." He shrugged.  
  
"Hey where's Collins? Is he coming over later I need to ask him something."  
  
"Yes, he'll be here later. His last class ends at 4:30 I think. Jen's cooking spaghetti anyway. I'm assuming that dinner will include you guys. You know Jen figures you'll con her into it eventually so she'll invite you first so she doesn't feel like such a sucker."  
  
The phone rang and Roger yelled into the bedroom. "Mark your mommy's on the phone. You better get it or she'll just keep calling."  
  
"I know, I know." He walked slowly to the phone.  
  
"Hey don't look at me, thank your little girlfriend for this one."  
  
"I'm not his girlfriend."  
  
"She's not my girlfriend." He picked up the phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Grab a seat." Roger told Jason as Cass walked in and sat on the couch. "These calls are usually good for a laugh."  
  
"Hi Mom."  
  
"I know. I thought I would be home at four but I got caught up doing something. What did you need?"  
  
"That would be because it wasn't Maureen Mom. So what did you need?"  
  
"No Mom, she's not a lesbian. And yes I do know straight girls. And what exactly does a lesbian sound like Mom?" Mark rolled his eyes as he sat on the barstool. This was going to be a long conversation.  
  
Roger was cracking up listening and Cass and Jason were definitely amused.  
  
"It was my friend Cass. So what was it you needed Mom?"  
  
"Yes Mom she's very nice. What did you need to call me about?"  
  
"No I'm not dating her. She came for a visit. So what did you need Mom?"  
  
"Her name is Cass Mom. You actually met her at Cindy's wedding."  
  
"Yes Mom," Oh this was getting painful. "The catholic one in the red dress with all the cleavage."  
  
Roger and Jason were laughing hard now. Mark had his head resting in his left hand. Even with his back to them they could tell by his ears and the back of his neck that he was turning pink.  
  
"She didn't try to look cuter than Cindy's bridesmaids. She just is cuter than Cindy's friends are. So what did you want Mom?" Mark knew it was a losing battle.  
  
"Yes Mom," Mark let out a huge sigh as his head dropped and his forehead hit the countertop. "The one I was sleeping with. So what did you need Mom?"  
  
Roger was losing it at this point. "Give it up buddy," he laughed. "You're not getting off that phone till she torments you first."  
  
Mark gave Roger the finger. "No Mom, you just kept calling her Katie. He name is still Cass. Well it was good talking to you mom. I'll talk to you in a few weeks. I gotta get going now."  
  
"Oh sorry Mom, I didn't know you needed anything. What is it?"  
  
"Of course I know the twin's birthday is next week."  
  
"Yeah right he knew that." Roger laughed at him.  
  
"Their birthday card is sitting right here on the counter." Mark lied. "They're going to be what? Five?"  
  
"Oh yeah, eight right, I forgot." Mark rolled eyes back and gave Roger the finger again. "I know I haven't seen them in a long time."  
  
"I know I haven't been home in a long time Mom. I've been really busy with work and stuff."  
  
"No mom, Roger hasn't gone home to Scaresdale in a long time either."  
  
Mark laughed into the phone then at Roger. "Yes Mom he is allowed to return to Scaresdale. He only got kicked out of his house that night, not he whole town."  
  
"Hey!" Roger protested.  
  
"You're right Mom, so I promise you the next time Roger goes to Scaresdale, I'll go with him."  
  
"Well that's certainly covering your ass Marky!" Roger laughed at him.  
  
"No he still doesn't have a real job either."  
  
"Yes, I know we are getting too old to be acting like teenagers on a Friday night."  
  
"No, she's got a real job Mom." Mark looked at Cass and mouthed the words 'all your fault'. He was trying to act mad at her, but watching her laugh at him he couldn't. "She does computer stuff."  
  
"She may stay for awhile, so you're right, maybe she'll be a good influence on us." Please God, strike me down now. End this torture.  
  
"Look Mom, I got to go. Roger needs to use the phone."  
  
"Oh great, get me in this." Roger yelled at him from the couch.  
  
Mark's face changed from playfully annoyed to serious. "No Mom. That's not it. Just leave him alone, okay?"  
  
"Mom I'm not gonna argue with you about it. I told you to leave him along. Now just drop it. I really gotta go."  
  
"Yes, I'll send the twins something. How about movie rentals from Blockbusters. I'll talk to you later. Bye."  
  
"What now Mom?"  
  
"No Mom," he sighed. "I am not sleeping with her. And no she's not my girlfriend."  
  
"Really? Great Mom, thanks for that advice. That's just what I want to think about the next time I have sex. Now I gotta go. Bye." He hung up before she could say anything else.  
  
Roger, Jason and Cass were all sitting there laughing at him. Mark just sat at the counter with his head buried in his hands for a second. "I just want it noted, there is no God, at least a merciful one, because if there was, he would have struck me down long ago."  
  
"Unless it's a God with a sense of humor and enjoys a good laugh." Jason said, which both Cass and Roger found very funny.  
  
"That actually would explain a lot about my life." Mark said as he turned around to face them. "But I also want you all to know that," he looked directly at Cass and tired again to be mad at her, "this was all your fault."  
  
Cass tried hard to be serious but as the words "I'm sorry Mark" left her mouth so did a steam of giggles.  
  
"What's so funny?" Collins asked as he let himself and Jen in with his key.  
  
"Oh you would have loved it. We were discussing Mark's role in the universe as entertainment for some benevolent God!" Jason said getting up and kissing Collins.  
  
"I see." Collins said as he hugged him back. "What's a matter Marky? Your mommy call or something?"  
  
Collins statement brought extreme laugher from both Jason and Roger. Cass was laughing too. Even Mark they could tell was amused at this point.  
  
"Okay, okay. Enough fun an games." Jen said. "So you've stolen my coffee maker, my hair dryer, my newspaper, and my food. Are you stealing my brother too Davis? He's supposed to be fixing my computer right now."  
  
"Well you know Jen," Roger picked at her, "if you stayed out of all those porn sites, maybe you wouldn't have so many computer problems."  
  
"Ha Ha, very funny. I also know it was you that spilled beer on my keyboard Davis." She said dryly back at him.  
  
"Whatever." He gave her his best grin. "But you want to do me a favor?"  
  
"You have got more nerve than anyone ever!"  
  
"No, really. Cass needs her hair washed, without ripping out anymore stitches."  
  
"Or super glue." Mark threw in.  
  
"Super glue?"  
  
"Anyway, I said I'd ask you. So will you? Please Jenny? For me?" Roger asked her all syrupy sweet and giving her puppy dog eyes. Then he added in his regular voice, "besides maybe she can fix you computer for good this time."  
  
"I'll look at you computer Jen." Cass told her as she got up and walked over to get the Tylenol bottle off the top of the TV.  
  
That was when Jen saw she was wearing the CBGB boxers. "Yeah, I'll wash you hair, but first girlfriend, we are gonna find you some clothes. It's bad enough I gotta see their sorry looking butts," she pointed at Roger and Mark, "constantly running around in their underwear. But I don't have to see you in their underwear too. You I can find clothes for!"  
  
"Hey! My butt's not sorry looking!" Roger teased back at her.  
  
"Yeah! We don't have sorry looking butts. Right guys?" Mark asked Jason and Collins.  
  
"I am so staying out of this conversation." Jason laughed.  
  
"Cass?" Mark asked.  
  
"Yes Mark you've got a cute little butt." She grinned at him.  
  
"Oh please! Let's go honey. Dinner. Spaghetti. One hour." Jen grabbed Cass' hand and started to lead her out the door.  
  
"Hey! What about my butt?"  
  
"Still dragging Cass by the hand and without stopping or even turning around Jen answered him. "Oh you are so completely pathetic Davis!" And she shut the door before Cass could say anything to him at all.  
  
  
  
********  
  
  
  
"What are you two laughing to? Mark asked Jason and Collins.  
  
"Nothing. Nothing at all." Collins said trying to stifle a laugh but couldn't stop grinning especially when he looked at Jason who was having the same problem.  
  
"Yes, nothing really." Jason laughed. "Just my sister's twisted sense.  
  
"You mean sense of humor?" Mark asked.  
  
"No, just twisted sense." Jason looked at Collins, they both looked at Roger and both started laughing again.  
  
"Oh shut up both of you." Roger shook his head at them. "I got Cass an appointment with Joanne's doctor for tomorrow. You know she doesn't know if she has health insurance. I guess we can just pay for it with her credit card."  
  
"Okay. What time?"  
  
"10 am. She ever tell you about her accidents?"  
  
"What, her car accident?" Mark asked him.  
  
"No. When we were talking and I was trying to figure out the deal with her insurance, I asked her what happened any other time she was sick or whatever. Well she starts telling me about how whenever she had an accident, or all the other times she went to the hospital, stuff like that."  
  
"What happened to her?" Collins asked, somewhat worried.  
  
"I don't know exactly. She was real vague about it. She just kept saying stuff happened. What it really sounds like is her bastard cousin used to use her for party games and a punching bag. For a long time. Like since she was like 13 or something."  
  
"God that's horrible." Jason said flopping back down on the couch.  
  
"Yeah. And it sounds like her family knew about it too, but never really did anything about it. I think that's why she's traveled so much. To stay away from them. And him."  
  
"That probably just makes everything that's gone on recently even worse for her." Collins said. "What about he women's crisis center? Have you been able to get her to talk to anyone over there?"  
  
Roger looked at Mark for that answer. "No." Mark sighed. "I talked to her about it, but she said she didn't need too. That she was fine."  
  
"Well," Collins began, "what about Elizabeth at Life Support? I don't think I told you but she used to be a regular rape counselor at some center. She moved to Life Support after they realized there was a specific need there. Now she specializes in HIV positive rape victims. But nobody really knows that except for the immediate staff there. Pretty much everyone else just thinks she's a regular counselor. They don't realize she's actually a rape counselor. She already said she'd talk to Cass. Would Cass talk to her?"  
  
Mark began shaking his head. "I don't think so. Actually I'm sure she wouldn't. Not on her own. Not after yesterday. Especially if she finds out Elizabeth is a rape counselor. All she'd do is swear she's fine and try and get me to drop the whole subject."  
  
"Well, she's anything but fine." Jason pointed out.  
  
"You think I don't know that? I know her too well to not know that. But what am I supposed to do? I can't Make her go!"  
  
"No you can't make her." Collins sighed, knowing what he was about to say could get ugly. "nobody can really make her go, but especially you Mark. She knows you won't push her to do anything she doesn't want to do. Probably one of the reasons she came here."  
  
"He's right." Roger agreed. "She knows you well enough to know that if she stands her ground to you, eventually you'll back down. Especially if she starts crying."  
  
"Okay," Jason began, "so we know no one can make her go, but maybe you can convince her to go, or at least get her there."  
  
"How am I going to do that? I'm telling you she won't do it. I'll never be able to convince her. She'll just keep telling me she's fine."  
  
There was a moment's silence after Mark's works. Collins and Jason looked at each other. Mark was still staring at the phone and playing with the cord on the counter. Roger appeared to be fascinated by something on the floor as he hadn't looked up for awhile now. Jason nodded his head at Collins.  
  
"Actually," Collins began, knowing he opened this can of worms. He couldn't let Jason take what might be fallout for what he had began, so he started again. "I don't think Jason meant you Mark."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"He meant Roger?"  
  
"Roger?"  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Yes you. She can't pull the same crap with you that she can with Mark. You know that. Plus," here we go he thought, "you can do it in a way that wouldn't be forcing her to do anything."  
  
"No way! No fucking way!"  
  
"Come on Roger." Jason pleaded. "All you have to do is get her there. We can make something up. We could set it up so that Cass would never know."  
  
"Wait, how? What do you mean?" Mark was confused.  
  
"Roger you're the only one that would be able to get her there in the first place." Collins argued.  
  
"It would never work. I barely got her out of bed this morning. I'd never be able to get her to talk to somebody about something she desperately does not want to talk about."  
  
"Yeah," Mark looked up at him. "But you did get her out of bed though."  
  
"Right." Collins continued. "And you can get her there too. You get her there, introduce her to Elizabeth, they start talking and I don't know, we call you over to talk to somebody else or something. We would set it all up with Elizabeth ahead of time."  
  
"Getting her out of bed is one thing. You heard her when you tried to get her to go to the store with you." He said to Mark. "I don't know how we are even going to get her to the doctor tomorrow."  
  
"I'm telling you she'll go with you. Will you just trust me on that. Please." Collins was trying hard to be firm about the situation, but do it in a gentle way. He loved Mark, and he would never do anything to hurt Mark. He just wasn't so sure Mark really had any clue as to what was going on around him lately. Mark often had that forest through the trees thing going.  
  
"What am I supposed to do? Pick her up and carry her down the stairs? Kicking and screaming? Lock her in Elizabeth's office. Oh yeah, all that should be real helpful. Forget it."  
  
"No you big idiot!" Jason was getting mad at this point. They had bigger issues to deal with than this one, simply solved detail. He was tired of everyone acting stupid. "You ask her. You tell her your going and you want her to go with you. You need her to go with you. I doesn't really matter exactly what you tell her. If you ask her, she'll go with you! God how dense can you be!"  
  
"What the fuck are you talking about? Do you have any idea what it took to get her out here on the couch! I almost had to drag her!"  
  
"I can imagine! And don't even try and pretend you didn't love every minute of it! Both of you! It's not like we haven't all seen it for the past four days now. My God, under any other circumstances the two of you would have been all over each other by now I'm sure!" Jason was almost yelling at him.  
  
Well so much for diplomacy Collins thought. This has potential to go from bad to worse. Jason was mad, more at the level of stupidity this was creating than at any of them. Mark was however strangely silent. Usually things didn't escalate to this level before Mark the Peacemaker jumped in to try and calm everyone down.  
  
And then there was Roger. Roger who was as usual, just plain angry. Angry at the situation. Angry at what they where asking him to do. Angry at what they were telling him. Angry at himself. Angry at the world. Sort of, but not really as much it seemed these past few days. But as Collins looked at him now, he could see something else, something besides anger. Something he had not seen in Roger in a long time.  
  
"What the fuck are you talking about Jason?" Roger was yelling now. His eyes kept darting back and forth between the couple on the couch and Mark at the counter. Mark was sitting there. Just listening. Watching. Watching Roger actually. Roger was getting nervous. This was his best friend we are talking about here. The one he was going to try and do so much better by. His mouth had gone completely dry. Roger licked his lips nervously, looking for any trace of saliva so he could continue. "What do you think I am? A total ass? That's Mark's girlfriend you're talking about. Remember?"  
  
"He says she's not his girlfriend." Jason reminded him.  
  
"Fine. Sorta girlfriend, old girlfriend whatever. I may have been a total fuck in the past, but I'm trying not to screw over my best friend any more!" Roger stormed out into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.  
  
Mark was still sitting at the counter staring at Roger's bedroom door when the phone rang. "Hello? Yeah, okay Jen, we'll be right down." He hung up the phone. "Dinner's ready. You guys go down. We'll be down in a few."  
  
"Look Mark, I'm sorry." Jason started.  
  
"It's okay. I mean you guys are right. She would never go for me. And she does need to go. And he has been acting really weird since she got here. But good weird. I mean I think I was so worried about her, and so surprised by him, I just didn't see what was going on I guess."  
  
"Sorry we had to do that like we did." Collins told him.  
  
"No it's okay, really. I mean it. Now go before we all suffer the wrath of your sister."  
  
Mark sat there for a few more minutes after they left before getting up and knocking on Roger's door as he walked into his room. Roger was laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. "Hey." He sat down on the edge of the bed.  
  
"Look Mark, I'm really sorry. Nothing ever happened. I would never, I mean I never meant anything to, I mean she doesn't mean anything to me or anything you know."  
  
Mark grinned. "You fuck! She's one of my two best friends, and I love her. She better mean something to you! Especially if your gonna get involved with her!"  
  
"What?" Roger sat up on the bed.  
  
"You heard me. And don't be a jackass to her either. She's not some band groupie."  
  
"But I thought, that you and her were, you know."  
  
"What dating?" Davis you are such a loser some times. This just yet again proves you never listen to me! How many times have I told you that she's not my girlfriend? Jason's right you are dense!" Mark laughed at him.  
  
"Are you sure? I mean this is like a big time friendship ending issue here. I promise I would never want to do anything to hurt you Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes, I'm sure. Just take care of her okay? I do love her, but that's not where we are right now. Don't let anybody else hurt her either okay? Promise me that."  
  
"I promise. I swear."  
  
"Okay, can we go to dinner now? So far today I've had to talk to my mother, which I know you enjoyed, had to have lunch with Maureen, which I also know you enjoyed me having to do, and lost my supposed girlfriend to my best friend, which, trust me, I know for a fact you will enjoy that. Now can we please go eat before I have to deal with Jen's shit too for being so late?"  
  
"Okay, okay. Lets go." Roger was laughing as he started to get up off the bed, but hen he looked at Mark who had gotten a strangely serious look on his face. "What?" He sat back down in front of him. "You change your mine or something?"  
  
"No, no it's not that. It's just," His eyes went down to the mattress. The words he had just said to Roger were stuck in his brain. They hung there. Frozen in time. Just there. Flashing over and over like a giant neon sign in his mind. Replaying themselves. Like a never-ending film. Those words he had just said to Roger. About Cass. About Roger. Words that in a single moment terrified Mark. "It's just that, well, just promise me something."  
  
"Anything."  
  
"Just promise me that, well just remember that, well, that Cass is different."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"She's not like Mimi, you know what I mean?"  
  
Roger did know what he meant. He knew very well what he meant. He had been thinking about that earlier. Earlier when it was easier because she was still Mark's girlfriend then, so it wasn't an issue.  
  
Roger's eyes dropped down to the mattress as well. He couldn't bear to look at Mark. He knew what was coming. "Yes." He said softly. "I know what you mean."  
  
"Just promise me you guys will be careful okay? Please?"  
  
"Oh god Mark I would never. You know that. I could never, ever do anything like that to anyone. Especially her. You know that right? I mean I promise. Tell me you know that."  
  
"Yeah." Mark said very quietly. "I do know that. Just be careful okay? For me? Please Okay. I couldn't take anything happening to both of you." Tears were welling up in Mark's eyes as well as Roger's at this point.  
  
"Okay." Roger said softly as he hugged Mark. "I promise. Believe me. However I don't think it's really an issue at the moment anyway. And it won't be unless we get her in to talk to Elizabeth I guess."  
  
"So you're gonna do it? Go to Life Support?"  
  
"Yeah I'm gonna do it." Roger paused as he looked at Mark. "I'm gonna have to find out how she gets out of stuff with you though. Why is it you can wear me down but not her?" He lightly punched Mark in the arm.  
  
"Talent I guess. Come on lets go eat. Besides it's really hot in your room."  
  
"That's because the air conditioner is in your room. Dork!"  
  
"Loser!"  
  
"Geek!"  
  
"Pain in the ass!"  
  
"Film nerd!"  
  
"Girlfriend stealer!"  
  
"Oh shut up and go to dinner!" 


	16. 16

A/N 10/4/02  
  
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I love you for it! I am going out of town for over three weeks, so I won't be able to post any chapters till I return. Please don't forget about me or our favorite bohemians! Some big stuff is about to go down with everyone at the loft! I hope you all are enjoying reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. See you all in a few weeks!  
  
CHAPTER 16  
  
  
  
Jason opened the door and let Roger and Mark in. "The whole point of calling to say dinner is ready is that when I call you, it means that dinner is actually ready." Jen said, getting snippy at them.  
  
"Cut them a break Jennifer!" Jason snapped at her. "Besides, Maureen's not even back yet."  
  
"Where's Maureen? I didn't know she was coming over." Mark said, ignoring Jen.  
  
"What? She didn't tell you when you were coning her into doing your dirty work for you?" Roger teased him.  
  
"What did he get her to do?" Jason laughed.  
  
"Nothing much," Roger said as he sat down at the counter bar. "He just had her call and check up on us today. Like we wouldn't know he made her do it." He and Cass started laughing. "Actually, I was guessing he'd get Jen to do it."  
  
"Ha! Fat chance." Jen said as she put plates and wineglasses on the counter in front of Roger. As she started pouring spaghetti into a bowl, Maureen returned.  
  
"Okay here goes." Maureen said as she set the bag on the counter.  
  
"Good, give me a beer Roger." Jason told him.  
  
Roger opened the bag and pulled out two bottles of red wine.  
  
"What happened to the beer? It's too hot for wine." Jason said ending the sentence in a long nasally whiney voice, causing everyone to laugh.  
  
"Oh shut up. It sounded good." Maureen started. "And Cass had been talking about the vineyard, so I thought she might like it. Besides, it was on sale. A lot cheaper than beer would have been."  
  
"Mmm, yum. Bet it's right up there with yours." Mark whispered to Cass who shushed him as she laughed.  
  
"Plus I've lived with you two slobs. I figured she could use a drink after that."  
  
"Not to mention having her head super glued." Jen gave Roger a very disapproving look.  
  
"Hey it worked, didn't it!" He was getting defensive.  
  
"Relax." Maureen interrupted. "She's just kidding. Here, play bartender and open these." She handed him the wine opener and then went to help Jen plate the spaghetti.  
  
Roger just looked at the wine opener for a second before tossing it aside. He undid the cellophane and then unscrewed the cap on the wine bottles, shaking his head at Maureen the whole time.  
  
"Um, speaking of that, when do you work the Iguana again?"  
  
"Thursday night I gotta bartend, but we've got band practice that afternoon first."  
  
"What's the Iguana?" Cass asked as Mark handed her a plate and sat on the floor in front of her.  
  
"It's this bar this guy Roger knows owns. He bartends there and the band plays there too."  
  
"More like total dive bar." Maureen said, taking a plate of food.  
  
"And more like total freak who Roger knows." Jen added.  
  
"There's nothing all that wrong with Izzy." Mark tried to help.  
  
"True," Jen added, handing wine to Jason and Collins. "As long as you don't mind total Neanderthal freaks.  
  
"Never bothered you on dates sis." For that Jason received a most evil look.  
  
"Izzy's not weird. He's just slightly off from the rest of the world." Roger told them.  
  
"What do you mean?" Cass asked.  
  
"For instance," Jen said between bites of food, "he's got this huge tattoo of an Iguana on his back. It looks like it's peaking over his shoulder or something."  
  
"So he's got a tattoo because of the bar. What's so weird about that?" Cass asked.  
  
"Not exactly." Roger laughed. "He got the tattoo in memory of Artie."  
  
"And that would be.?" Cass asked hesitantly.  
  
"His pet iguana. It's dead now, but he used to take it everywhere. It sat on his shoulder."  
  
"And he talked to it." Jen added.  
  
"And he thought it talked back." Maureen told her.  
  
"I swear I don't how Krystal puts up with him!" Jen made a face.  
  
"Izzy's not that bad." Roger defended him.  
  
"Yeah the fact that he hasn't fired Roger yet is a miracle." Jason laughed.  
  
"He has." Roger, Mark and Collins laughed.  
  
"Many times actually." Roger told her, still laughing.  
  
Collins was still grinning at that. "I sometimes wonder how he stays open though. Business doesn't seem to be his forte."  
  
"I don't know either. But that dump stays full. And I'll bring home close to two hundred dollars Thursday night most likely."  
  
"Roger if you make so much money," Jen asked, "why don't you bartend all the time."  
  
"Because Jennifer, I'm not a bartender."  
  
"Oh that's right," Maureen said as she collected the rest of the empty plates. "You're an unemployed musician."  
  
"Hey I get paid when we play."  
  
"Which seems like never." Jen said.  
  
"Okay so Izzy's band is not exactly his top priority. I'm not sure Izzy really has any top priorities. But it's a decent enough band. We're playing this Sunday night again. Anybody want to come?" Roger's eyes covered the group of friends with that question, but Mark had a feeling it was directed at one person in particular.  
  
"Um, sorry Rog, I gotta do something that night." Mark looked at Maureen before his eyes dropped to the floor. He really would have preferred going to see the band then doing what he had to do, but he promised Roger he would do it, and Sunday was as good a time as any.  
  
"Yeah sorry. Joanne and I have plans that day, and I'm busy that night too." Maureen smiled at Mark. She knew he was not excited about going through Mimi's stuff.  
  
"Count me out." Jen told them. "I've got a date that night."  
  
"Gee Jen if you don't want to go you can just tell me, you don't have to make up huge lies to get out of it." Roger teased her.  
  
"No I really do have a date!" She started to argue with him but then realized he was picking on her. "Screw you Davis I really do have a date!"  
  
"Yeah right!" Roger laughed.  
  
"With who?" Jason wanted to know.  
  
"This guy Tim. I met him through work."  
  
"Well, you both could come to the Iguana, have a few beers and hear the band."  
  
"The last thing I'm going to do is expose one of the last decent guys left in New York to that roach infested dive to hear you and the off beat, out of key, freak brigade!"  
  
"Hey, we're not that bad!"  
  
"Roger as your friend, I feel I must tell you this." Collins began, trying to be serious. "Izzy's band, with the exception of you, really sucks." He started laughing which was followed by everyone else joining in.  
  
"I know. I really need a new band. Where we do something other than just cover shit." He was looking down at his feet. "But Izzy's band was sort of what I needed for awhile. It kind of fit my schedule and all."  
  
Mark decided it was time to change the subject. "Speaking of roach infestation and freaks, first Wednesday of the month tomorrow. So Benny will be coming by, just in case, as usual you all plan on deserting me to have to deal with him alone, you'll have time to make plans. I wouldn't want anyone to be caught off guard and happen to be hanging around with, god for bid, me when he comes to pick up the checks." The whole comment was dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"What do you mean?" Cass asked.  
  
"Let's just say," Mark started in a smile and still sarcastic way. "That for a group of people with no place to go, nothing to do, ever. No money to do it with and not to mention the inability to plan anything ahead of time, everyone, and I do mean everyone, seems to be able to find something else to do the first Wednesday of every month. They all just desert me to deal with Benny on my own. But then again, what are friends for?"  
  
"Hey don't even start with me on that again. I told you I didn't want anything to do with this whole manage the building crap when you two worked it all out." Roger grumbled.  
  
"Well, what would you have preferred, getting kicked out? Again? Trying to find a new place? Not to mention one we can afford. There's always that card board box option." Mark cracked a grin. "Or of course Jen's floor."  
  
"Forget it, never going to be an option. But I can get you two some good boxes from work." She grinned.  
  
"All I'm saying is," Mark started but paused to give a long sigh. He was tired of this argument. "All I'm saying is it works, okay? As much as we both hate it, we need him to let us keep living here. And, all things considered, he needs us to do this. It works out in the end okay?"  
  
"What he needs is to have the crap beat out of him, once and for all."  
  
"Roger calm down." Jen told him as she handed a check she had gotten from her bedroom to Mark. "No one likes him anymore than you do, but trying to shove his face into the cement, while I admit is appealing, is not helpful."  
  
"I know. I know. It's just better if neither of us ever see each other again."  
  
"Um," Collins jumped in, "just out of curiosity, what are you going to do with Cass tomorrow when he comes over?"  
  
"Shit I never thought about that." Roger said.  
  
"Me either." Mark looked at Roger. "Maybe I can just stash both of you in the bedroom."  
  
"What are we talking about? What do you mean 'do with' me?"  
  
"It's probably better if Benny doesn't know you are staying with us. At least for now." Mark tried to explain, but he knew that wouldn't be a good enough answer for Cass.  
  
"What he means is," Collins added, "If Benny finds out your living there, first, he'll most likely be a total jack ass. Then Roger will most likely try to kill him, just on principal. Then he'll threaten to kick you all out. Then he'll try and get you to pay rent. But the biggest issue is he'll come over. A lot. He thinks he's got that right, just because it's his building."  
  
"He's a sleazy, leech who even when his wife comes with him, which is often now I've noticed," Jen said, "he's always trying to put his hands all over you and basically you just feel like you need a shower when he leaves."  
  
"That's how the whole building manager thing came around. Benny would come by, and no one would be here, because they were all avoiding him. Which made it difficult to get the rent I guess. That and some girl that lived down stairs brought him up on a sexual harassment charge." Mark laughed.  
  
"Anyway," Maureen added, "because of all that and other problems, Muffy--"  
  
"Allison." Mark corrected her.  
  
"Fine, Allison called and made this whole deal with Mark. I mean it's actually her money. And she knows she can't possibly rent out that dump upstairs to anyone else I'm sure. And it would have to cost a ton to bring it up to code and make it livable. Livable for anyone other than these two." She waved a finger between Mark and Roger. "Besides, I think she kinda enjoys making him squirm a little." Maureen got a slightly sick smirk on her face.  
  
"Well if it will keep Cass from having to deal with him, and keep Roger out of jail a little longer," Jen gave Roger a look, "you two can hid out down here. Mark's got my check, so there's no reason for Benny to come by my place. Besides, what's the difference between you watching my cable in my apartment or watching my cable in yours."  
  
"Um," Mark looked at Roger with a guilty 'Oh Shit we're busted' look. "What do you mean Jen?"  
  
"Oh please!" She, along with Jason and Collins, who knew Mark had stole her cable all laughed. "Like I wouldn't notice you two suddenly had cable, the exact premium channels I have."  
  
"Oh." Was all Mark said.  
  
"Besides," she continued, with a smirk on her face. "That wasn't the big tip off. There is no way you two would order, and actually pay for cable, all those channels, and not get at least one porn channel!"  
  
Roger kicked his foot at Mark and laughed. "See I told you to steal it from the guy on the third floor! I know he's got porn channels!"  
  
By then they were all laughing. They sat around talking about nothing really for awhile longer. Mark was about to say something to Collins when he looked up from the floor at Cass. She had the handle of her fork stuck in her cast, scratching at her arm. "Cut that out! Your not supposed to do that!" He said getting up and taking the fork into the kitchen.  
  
"But Mom! It itches!" She said at him through clenched teeth. Everyone, especially Roger laughed at that. No one knew Mark's mother like qualities better than Roger.  
  
"And you're still a big help." Mark said at Roger. "You just sit there and watch her!" He turned to the rest of the group. "You know the other day he bent up a wire hanger specifically so she could shove it in her cast!"  
  
"Well it really itches Mark." She was laughing at him.  
  
"You're just not supposed to do that is all. Hey, what time is your doctor's appointment tomorrow?"  
  
Cass looked at Roger who said "Ten o'clock. But they said to be there by 9:45 to fill out paperwork."  
  
"Where is it?"  
  
"Upper east side. Somewhere in the 80's. I don't remember. I wrote it down. But if we get on the Canarsie Line, we can pick up the 4, 5, or 6 train. Whichever one we don't have to switch from at Grand Central. Get off at 77th or 86th. Which ever one is closer."  
  
Mark started doing the math. "Okay, so six blocks to the subway, maybe twenty minutes on it, plus however far it is to walk there. We better get up by 7:30." Mark looked at Cass who was getting a strange, nervous look on her face. "Um, maybe 7:00."  
  
"How does that add up to us having to get up at 7:00?" Roger asked him.  
  
"Well, walking time, and subway time and we don't really know where the office is." Mark was watching Cass, who had pulled her knees up to her chin and was intently looking at them, but she had lost a lot of color from her face. "Plus coffee on the way. And I know you two, neither of you will get up that early willingly." Mark put a little more stress on those last words and shot Roger a look that he then directed to Cass. Mark had a feeling getting out the door tomorrow morning might not be the easiest, or quickest thing in the world.  
  
Collins had also been watching both Cass and Mark. He knew what Mark was thinking and agreed with him. "That sounds right Mark." Collins said, but he directed it at Roger. "It will still be rush hour when you're going. Besides, you never know what kind of problems you may run into tomorrow morning."  
  
Roger caught on and started shaking his head. "Yeah, okay, whatever. Just wake me up. But don't be a total ass about it. You do remember the squirt gun incident, right Marky?" He was trying hard to change the subject to something that would get Cass to laugh or at least back from wherever she was going at the moment.  
  
"I said I was sorry I won't do that again. Believe me. Even though you did say 'make sure I get up.' That was what you said."  
  
"He's right Roger." Jason laughed. "You did tell him to make sure you got up."  
  
"Whatever." He laughed. "Are you ready to go?"  
  
"Yes he is." Jen said. "You all are. Some of us have real jobs to go to tomorrow and stuff to do still tonight. You don't have to go home, but get out of here!"  
  
They all said their good-byes and thanked Jen for dinner. After they got into the loft and Cass had gone to change into something to sleep in, Roger looked at Mark.  
  
"You thing we're going to have problems getting her to the doctor don't you?"  
  
"Don't you?" Mark asked as he sank on the couch. "You said what it took to ever get her out of bed."  
  
"Well she's got to go."  
  
"I know." Mark looked down at the ground. "I just wish getting her to go didn't mean we had to possibly be total asses to her." 


	17. 17

Chapter 17  
  
  
  
"Cass." Mark gently shook her. "Cass you gotta wake up."  
  
"Go away Mark." She told him as she pulled a pillow over her head and rolled over towards Roger on the twin bed butted up against the double she and Mark had been sleeping in.  
  
"Come on it's already after seven. You guys got to get up or we'll be late." He tried to pull the pillow from her but she held on to it tightly with her left hand.  
  
"Go away Mark, I'm sleeping."  
  
"Come on Cass, please." Mark said before turning his attention to Roger who had also pulled a pillow over his head. "You too loser, get up we got to get moving." He reached over and yanked the pillow off Roger's face.  
  
Roger sat up. "How come she gets a please and I get called loser?"  
  
"Fine, fine if it will get you up then I'm sorry. How about get up please," Mark paused, then threw the pillow at him. "Loser."  
  
"Marky you're pushing your luck awfully early today."  
  
Cass started laughing under the pillow. Roger took that opportunity and grabbed the pillow off her face. "Get up!" He laughed at her. "If I gotta be up this early so do you." He grabbed the sheet and pulled it back as he stood up on the bed and stepped over her.  
  
"Give me a break you guys. It's too early for all this." Cass grabbed the pillow Mark had thrown at Roger and pulled it over her face again.  
  
Mark looked at Roger and mouthed the words "I told you." Then he jerked his head at Cass as if to say do something to him.  
  
"I said get up!" He barked at her. Roger realized he was being a major grump and not really meaning to be. He grabbed her foot. "Or else!" He started to tickle her foot.  
  
Cass started to kick her foot to free it from his grip. "Cut it out Roger!" She started to laugh as he tickled her. "Seriously, cut it out. It still really hurts to laugh!"  
  
"Are you gonna get up?" He asked her. "Or do I have Mark tickle the other one too?" Mark grabbed her other foot.  
  
"Okay, okay, I'll get up. Why are you so evil in the morning?" She asked Roger as she climbed out of the bed and walked into the living room.  
  
"Because I'm good at it." He yelled back at her before he followed her out of the room.  
  
"Okay," Mark started, "I guess you need your wallet, or at least your credit card. Maybe your drivers license. Hey, where's the grocery list you guys wrote yesterday?"  
  
"It's on the counter behind you. Did you make coffee?" Roger asked as he and Cass sat down on the barstools.  
  
"No. We can get some on the way there. Get a bagel or something too."  
  
"Why are we even bothering to go? This stupid thing is fine." Cass gestured towards her cast. "Where are my cigarettes?"  
  
"We're going," Roger said as he handed her the box of cigarettes, "so that your arm doesn't fall off from gangrene or something nasty like that after getting it all wet. Besides you've got to get your stitches out and that thing cut off eventually."  
  
"It's fine. I don't need to go to the doctor's. We can go in a few weeks and get it cut of then." She opened the cigarette box. "Damn. I need cigarettes. I only have two left."  
  
"Fine, we'll get you cigarettes when we get coffee on the way." Mark told her. "Now will you guys go get dressed. We got to go soon." He walked into his office for the legal pad he had been writing on the other day.  
  
Cass lit her cigarette and just sat there while Roger got dressed. He walked out of the bathroom in a sleeveless tee shirt and jeans with holes in both knees. "Okay, go get ready. We got to go soon."  
  
"I don't have anything to wear."  
  
"I thought Jen gave you a bunch of clothes." He said to her.  
  
The door to Mark's make shift office was open part way and he could hear Cass and Roger by the bar. He had found the legal pad, but he was still sitting at the desk. Mark didn't want to go out there. He didn't want to listen to them either though.  
  
Roger was on the verge of mean to her. Mark knew it was partially because that was just Roger. He was by no means a morning person. Mark had known for years not to take any of it personally when dealing with him in the morning.  
  
But part of this was different. Part of it he knew was on purpose. They had talked about it last night. Mark knew Cass well enough to know how stubborn she could be. She was actually as stubborn if not more so than Roger. That was why Roger had to do this. That was why it was gonna take almost a fight between the two of them to get her out the door if she put up any kind of argument about going to the doctor's.  
  
And it sounded like that was what was going to happen. Cass was being difficult. Roger was getting mean. Mark was hiding in his office. He hated making Roger do this. He told his so last night. But he knew Cass would try to get Mark to let her stay home if he went out there. Mark knew he had to let Roger argue it out with her. He had to piss her off enough to get her to go.  
  
"She did, but they are short shorts and I still have bruises all up my things." Cass was getting defensive. "I don't want to go walking all over New York like that. It's bad enough I still sort of have a black eye."  
  
"Well then wear your jeans." He yelled back at her.  
  
"It's too hot for jeans!"  
  
"Fine!" Roger yelled.  
  
Mark could hear him open the door to the air-conditioned bedroom. A minute later he heard him come out and slam the door behind him.  
  
"Here, wear my overalls you cut off. They go down to your knees. No one will see your thighs." Mark could hear the buckles hitting the counter top as Roger threw them down. "And here's one of Mark's shirts. It's big enough, it'll cover up the ones on your arms too. Now go get dressed!"  
  
"I don't want to!"  
  
"I don't care! You're going!"  
  
"I'm not going!"  
  
"Yes you are!"  
  
"No I'm not!"  
  
"Yes you are!"  
  
"You can't tell me what to do! You're not my father!"  
  
"You're right, I'm not your father! Instead I'm the one trying to help you instead of--" Roger stopped mid sentence. He closed his eyes. Fuck! He hated himself for those words as they left his mouth. He could tell by the look on her face she knew where he had been going. Where his mouth had been traveling too way faster than his brain could move. Damn you Mark for making my do this.  
  
Roger tried to soften his tone just a little so he sounded firm but not angry with her. He wasn't angry with her at all. He was mad as hell at everything around her, but not at her. He hated himself for what he was saying and what he was doing but none of that was really directed at her. "Give it up Cass. You're going to the doctor's so you might as well just go get dressed."  
  
"Fuck you Roger!" She yelled back at him as she crushed out the rest of her cigarette. "Mark?"  
  
Oh shit Mark thought. Don't let her drag you into this, it will just make it harder. Mark picked up the phone receiver, leaned back in the chair and pushed the office door open.  
  
"Hold on one second Tony." Mark said to the dial tone as he put his hand over the mouthpiece of the phone. "Do you two mind?" Mark was trying to act annoyed. "I'm on the phone about the film someone wants to actually pay me money for. Cass just get dressed. You're going!" Mark slammed the door shut. Well, hopefully that was an academy award winning performance.  
  
"You heard him." Roger continued. "He's on my side. Get dressed you're going!"  
  
"I said I'm not going to the doctor. I'll go in a few weeks!" She still hadn't moved off the barstool.  
  
"Cass, you better get up and get dressed, because whether you do or not, you're going to the doctor's! I don't care if I have to pick you up and carry you all the way there wearing Mark's boxers. You are going!"  
  
Cass just glared at him. "No!"  
  
"Fine! Mark, we're leaving! Now!" Roger yelled as he walked over and grabbed her. She tried to grab the counter with her left hand, but she couldn't get a grip in time. Roger tired to throw her over his shoulder but she started fighting with him.  
  
"Roger put me down! You're hurting me! Ow, you're hurting my ribs! Put me down damn it!"  
  
"Good, if they hurt enough then maybe you'll want to go to the doctor's then!" He had walked to the front door. "Mark let's go! Now!"  
  
Mark walked out of the office just in time to see Roger let go with his left hand to open the door. Cass had been struggling against him and when he let go, her right arm, the one with the cast, flew up and caught Roger hard across the face near his eye.  
  
"Ow! Fuck Cass cut it out!"  
  
"Put me down then!"  
  
"Fine!" He set her down hard, but as he did he put one arm on either side of her and he pinned her against the door. With Roger right in front of her like that, she could barely move, much less get away.  
  
From across the room Mark saw the look of fear and panic cross over her face. At the same instant she started to freak out. "Let me go! Let me go!" She was screaming at Roger, but it wasn't in anger any more. It was with pure fear. Cass was pushing and fighting at Roger with all her might and then all of a sudden she just sort of slid down the door to the floor.  
  
It was that quick. Faster than Roger could even react and move. Way faster than Mark could get from one side of the room to the other. She just sort of gave up fighting and slid to the floor and started crying. Hard.  
  
Roger grabbed her just as Mark dropped to the floor in front of them. "Cass I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry!" Roger kept hugging her and she kept crying.  
  
"Oh God Cass!" Mark grabbed her hand. "We're sorry. We didn't mean it! Please stop crying Cass. Please. We just wanted you to see a doctor. I'm sorry Cass. Please stop crying."  
  
Roger sat down on the floor and pulled her onto his lap. "It's okay Cass. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry." He kept rocking her while he whispered that in her ear. They sat there like that for another five minutes. Mark holding her hand. Roger rocking her back and forth. Cass sitting in his lap. She never said anything. Her face was pressed against Roger's shoulder and buried in his neck. She kept making sobbing noises and tears were soaking into his shirt. Over and over he just kept whispering to her. "It's okay. It's okay. I'm so sorry Cass."  
  
After her sobbing had almost stopped Roger leaned back from her and pushed her chin up so she was looking at him. "Cass I'm sorry. You know that right? I'd never hurt you. You know that too right? Tell me you know that." She nodded at him between sobs. "And I'm never gonna let anybody else hurt you again either. Okay? I promise. And I'm sorry I scared you. God I'm so sorry. I never meant to scare you. I didn't mean to yell at you either. I'm so sorry Cass. Are you okay?"  
  
"We're both sorry Cass." Mark was surprised to hear his own voice. He figured it would never be able to get past the enormous lump that had formed in his throat. "We just wanted you to go to the doctor's. We never should have tried to force you. I'm sorry. Oh god. Just say something. Please. Just tell me you're okay."  
  
Cass nodded her head and then put it back down on Roger's chest. "I never meant to scare you. I just wanted to make sure you were all right is all." Roger whispered in her ear again. "That's the only reason we were trying to make you go to the doctor's. Just to make sure you're okay is all. We, I never meant to scare you Cass. I'm so sorry. You know that right?"  
  
Cass nodded again while her head was still against his shoulder and her face against his neck. "Okay." He whispered to her again. "As long as you know that." They sat there for a few more minutes with none of them speaking. Finally, without lifting her head, Cass spoke into Roger's shoulder.  
  
"If I go to the doctor's," she said barely above a whisper, "what are we going to tell them?"  
  
"Just what I said," he spoke into her ear again. "Just that you got mugged, while on vacation in Italy. And you got knocked into a pool at a party last weekend. That's all. Nothing else. I promise. Okay?" She nodded again, but still didn't look up. "That's the only reason we want you to go, is because you got that thing all wet. That's it. Okay?" She nodded again. "So you'll go to the doctor's?" After a moment or so she very slowly nodded her head.  
  
"Okay, then we gotta go. Soon. You gotta get dressed first though. Okay?" Roger nodded at Mark who helped her up from the floor. When she was standing Mark put his hand out and pulled Roger up as well. Mark walked Cass to the bathroom, grabbing her clothes from the counter on the way.  
  
Roger sat down on the barstool. He picked up the cigarette box, took the last one out and lit it just as Mark came over and sat down on the other stool. Mark opened his mouth to say something, but shut it when he looked at Roger. He could see where her cast had hit him in the face. The outside corner of his eye was dark and was already heading towards a black eye. "Are you okay?"  
  
"No. Not really." He said as he took a drag on the cigarette. "That was one of the most miserable experiences of my life."  
  
"Uh huh." Mark agreed. "But I was talking about your eye."  
  
He hadn't even noticed his eye still hurt till then. "Yeah, I'll be fine." He took another drag on the cigarette and then handed it to Mark. Mark looked at it for a second, then took it from Roger and took a long drag. They just sat there, not saying anything else, just sharing a cigarette and waiting for Cass. After another minute she came out of the bathroom dressed in Roger's overalls, cut into shorts and rolled just above her knees with Mark's maroon tee shirt under them. Roger crushed out the cigarette and stood up. Trying to be gentle he asked her, "You ready?" Cass nodded. "Okay let's go then. We need to hurry up."  
  
Mark stood up and grabbed Cass' hand and walked her to the door. "I took some of the money so we can grab a cab to the subway."  
  
"Okay let's go then." Roger opened the door and Mark led Cass out. Roger was about to walk out the door when he looked at his watch to see how much time they had. Maybe we can get her some coffee and a bagel or something still. As he looked down at the time he was the little bell on his watch that shows the alarm is set. Fuck that shit he thought. Roger grabbed his keys and started out the door. In the hallway Mark and Cass were standing there, waiting for him. Looking at him. Looking to him. Oh fuck. He turned around, stepped back inside the apartment, opened the drawer, and gabbed his pills, shoving the bottle into his pocket before flinging the drawer shut. Roger stepped out into the hallway and yanked the door shut hard. He locked the door, and turned to Cass and Mark. "Okay, now let's go."  
  
They climbed down the stairs in silence. As they reached the bottom, Mark turned to Cass. "I'll go try and get us a cab. It's quicker that way. For some reason it's always harder to get a cab when Roger's standing there." Mark smiled at her, but Roger could tell it was forced. Mark ran out the door and down the stoop  
  
Roger put an arm around Cass' waist and pulled her close to him. As they reached the front door he felt Cass tense up. Roger stopped and looked at her. "It's gonna be okay Cass. I promise."  
  
Cass leaned against his chest. "I know Roger."  
  
"We gotta go." He whispered at her. "But I'll be right there. Mark too. We won't let anybody hurt you again I promise." Roger tightened his grip around her waist with his left hand and pulled the door open with his right. Mark had a cab waiting when they walked to the door.  
  
  
  
A/N 10/4/02 More to come in a little over three weeks when I get back to my computer. Hope you like it so far and don't forget about me! 


	18. 18

A/N Well, I hope someone is still interested after three weeks away. But now I'm back home and can use my computer again, so here's the next chapter. I know it's been a long time, email me if you're lost or have any questions. And please review so I know if some one is still reading. Thanks.  
  
Chapter 18  
  
  
  
Mark walked up to the reception desk and signed Cass in. Without really paying him any attention, the receptionist gave him a clipboard with papers to fill out. "Here, hold this." Mark handed Roger his coffee as he sat down and started to fill out the papers while Cass played with her coffee cup.  
  
After he finished he took the clipboard back to the receptionist. Roger could hear her talking to Mark. She leaned forward to look at them. Her eyes went up and down Mark first, looking at his faded tee shirt and stained cargo shorts. Then she turned to Roger and Cass. Taking in his ripped jeans and blackening eye and the overall's Cass wore with the paint spill that ran down the outside of her left leg, she turned back to Mark. Roger could hear her asking about insurance. Mark was trying to explain about Cass' insurance, but Roger cold tell by the look on her face all she heard were the words no and insurance.  
  
"I'll be right back." Roger told Cass and he walked over to the reception desk.  
  
"I'm sorry, but if she doesn't have insurance, we won't be able to see her." She told Mark in a flat, cold tone.  
  
"But," Mark started as Roger walked up to the desk.  
  
"Mark give her Cass' credit card. We'll pay it in full today, don't worry. Go ahead and run it if you're so worried." Roger said about as coldly as possible at the receptionist while giving her an evil look.  
  
"Oh, I see." She said as she took the card from Mark. Roger turned around to go sit back down, but as he did, both Mark and the receptionist heard him say "bitch." Not overly loud, just loud enough for her to hear him.  
  
Roger sat back down next to Cass as his and Mark's watches beeped. A minute later Mark joined them. At 10:03 the office door opened and a nurse stepped out. "Ms. Sullivan?"  
  
Cass just sat there. "Cass." Mark said to her. "We'll be right here."  
  
Roger stood up and helped Cass up. He walked her to the door where the nurse was waiting. "You okay?" Roger looked to her. She nodded. "We'll be right out here."  
  
Cass walked through the door with the nurse. Roger sat down next to Mark who was holding a magazine, trying to act like he was actually going to read it. "Take your pills." Mark said without looking up from the magazine. Roger just sat there. Mark waited a minute before he spoke again. "Roger."  
  
"I know. Leave me alone, I'm gonna take them." He pulled his pills from his pocket and took them with the now cold coffee.  
  
"I don't know why we bought coffee. I think that's the first swallow of it any of us drank." Mark said as he put the magazine down on the coffee table. "Look at this place. Amazing what money and insurance will get you. Did you see how that receptionist attitude changed when she got that credit card? All off a sudden Cass went from 'her' to Ms. Sullivan. You're right, she is a bitch." Mark nodded his head towards the receptionist. "Yeah, this place is a little different from the clinic huh?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Smells a lot better too."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"God, I hate doctor's offices."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Roger, we had to do that this morning. Not all of it, that was an accident. But we had to push her. You had to do it. That wasn't your fault. You had to. We had to."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"I'm sorry I made you do all that." Mark said quietly.  
  
"You didn't make me. Besides, we had to."  
  
They sat there for a few minutes, not talking.  
  
"Roger?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Does knowing we had to do that make you feel any better about it?"  
  
Roger stared straight ahead for a minute before he answered. "No."  
  
"Yeah, me either."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"Mr. Cohen? Mr. Davis?"  
  
Roger had his head against the wall with his eyes closed. He heard the voice but it didn't even register until he heard Mark jump up.  
  
"Yeah, that's us. Is Cass okay?"  
  
Roger's eyes popped open and he stood up.  
  
"You both can come with me if you like. Ms. Sullivan is fine. We cut her old cast off. The new one is setting up right now. It's going to be about another 30 minutes till it's ready. You can wait with her in here till then."  
  
Roger and Mark went through the doors she pointed to. Cass was sitting in a chair with her arm on a table waiting for her cast to dry. "Hey." She said softly as they came through the door.  
  
"You okay? What did the doctor say?" Mark asked.  
  
"I'm okay."  
  
"Good." Mark said as he and Roger sat down with her.  
  
She looked at Roger and saw his eye really for the first time. "Oh God Roger! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that to you. I'm sorry." Her eyes were filling up with tears again.  
  
"It's okay. It's no big deal. Trust me, I've had much worse. Don't worry about it. It was an accident. A lot of this morning was an accident. Okay?"  
  
She nodded her head as she wiped the tears out of her eyes. They all sat there in the small room waiting. After about ten minutes the door opened. "Ms. Sullivan? If you'll come with me we need to x-ray your arm again. After, the doctor will be back to talk to you."  
  
After Cass walked out of the room Mark looked to Roger. "Why would they want to x-ray it again? Does that mean something's wrong?"  
  
"No." Roger told him. "They have to make sure it's set right is all."  
  
"Oh. God, I hate the way this place smells."  
  
"I know."  
  
They sat there for a few minutes not saying anything.  
  
"Roger?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"When do you have to go back to the clinic?"  
  
"Week after next I think."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Cass came back in a few minutes later. After a short time the door opened again and a woman walked in. "Hi." She said to Roger and Mark. "I'm Dr. Cole. And Cass, these are your x-ray's. Let's have a look." She slid them up on the light box. "Good, these look good. Carl did a great job rewrapping them. Perfectly set still, arm and fingers. Okay, here's the deal." She sat down on the rolling stool that is in every exam room of every doctor's office in America. "Your ribs look good. Let's keep them wrapped up for another week. Go easy for anther two after that. We'll cut that cast off your arm in four weeks.  
  
Now about your fingers. Your middle and ring finger we can un-splint in about two weeks. I want to wait on your pinky until we take off the cast. We could probably take it off a week or so earlier, but I'd rather wait. If they had put pins in it, it may be different, but we can't change that. Now I'm not going to lie to you. You're going to have problems with your middle knuckle on that finger. Most likely you won't be able to bend that one all that well. Now, I can send you to a specialist for surgery, but unless you're a concert pianist or something along those lines, I don't think you really need to bother. Okay?"  
  
Cass nodded.  
  
"Now," she turned her attention to Mark and Roger. "Which one of you likes to play with the super glue?"  
  
"Um, that was me." Roger looked from her to Cass and back.  
  
"Relax, it was a good idea at the time." She rolled toward Roger and started looking at his eye, which had started to swell. "I don't however suggest making a habit of that thought." She kept talking to them as she started pressing the bones around Roger's eye. "But her stitches and the glue are out. Just take it easy washing your hair for awhile." She stood up and walked to a cupboard on the wall, opened it and pulled out two small disposable ice packs. She slammed one down on the counter to break the crystals inside and shook it up. She handed them to Roger. "Ice that for awhile. And again later tonight and it should keep it from swelling shut, but you may not be doing any photo shoots for a few days." She smiled. "As far as Ms. Cass here is concerned, you two keep her from running any major races. You know, make her take it easy for while. And try and keep her out of pools. Deal?"  
  
Mark and Roger nodded at her.  
  
"Okay," back at Cass. "Well your face looks good, as far as healing up nicely. However the two of you do make for an interesting pair right now, sort of like black eye book ends." She smiled at Cass and Roger. "So I think that about covers it, unless there's anything else. I'll see you in a few weeks. And stay out of Italian allies unless you've got your two bodyguards here with you. And don't let her stick things down her cast. I know it itches, especially in this heat, but don't stick things in your cast! Your not supposed to do that. Got it?"  
  
"See, I told you not to do that." Mark said to Cass.  
  
"I'm going to give you a prescription for some pain killers. Between cutting off the old cast and everything to reset it, you're going to be sore. So any questions. Okay then, I'll see you in a few weeks."  
  
The nurse gave Mark Cass' filled prescription and her chart to hand to the receptionist on their way out. When they got out into the hall she stopped by the water fountain. "Give me a couple of those." Cass said to Mark gesturing at the painkillers.  
  
"I thought you didn't want to go there?" Mark questioned her.  
  
"Well I changed my mind."  
  
"But Cass you said--" Mark began but she cut him off.  
  
"I promised Carlton and myself no more coke. I promised him nothing else ever. I mean I never really had any intention of anything else, but I only promised me about he coke. I don't have a problem keeping that promise. I'm not really concerned about any promises I made to Carlton." She popped the pills in her mouth and took a drink of water.  
  
No one really said anything on the way home. After they came out of the subway, Mark hailed another cab to take them the six or so blocks back to the loft. As the cab turned onto their block Mark looked up. "Oh shit! Listen," he told the driver "don't stop. Keep going and take us back to 10th and A. Life Café. Roger duck!"  
  
Roger looked out the front window and saw the back range rover parked in front of the building. Normally he wouldn't have cared or bothered, but he was in no mood to even think about dealing with Benny right now. Roger slid down in the seat some and turned his head toward Cass' shoulder. "Was that him out front?"  
  
"I don't know, it could have been. I only saw him from the back. But he's there, that's his yuppie mobile for sure."  
  
Mark looked at his watch and then to Roger. He looked out the front window and back at his watch before he let out a sigh and turned to Cass. "Look Cass, I know all you want to do is go home, but you can't right now. Okay? That was Benny's car and trust me, no one wants to make you have to deal with him. Plus I don't have the energy it will involve if all four of us end up there together. You understand?"  
  
Cass nodded. It wasn't until after she took three of the pain killers that Mark had read the bottle and saw that it had said only one every eight hours. Plus you were supposed to take them with food and he knew she hadn't eaten anything since last night's spaghetti. He could tell she was half stoned already, which, he thought might actually make this easier.  
  
The cab pulled up in front of the Life Café. "Listen, Roger's gonna take you to get something to eat." Mark said, more to Roger than Cass at this point. "You guys have some lunch. Give me at least an hour to deal with Benny. You know how he can be. If he's got nothing else to do and is bored, he'll stand there talking and not leave."  
  
Mark paid the cab and they climbed out. "Here's some money for lunch. And here's some change." He handed it all to Roger as he saw the glazed look crossing over Cass' eyes. "In about an hour, call the loft. I'll take the phone in the office off the hook when I get there. If it's busy, he's still there. I'll try and get rid of him as fast as I can, but you know how he is sometimes. And only when I really need it you know?"  
  
"Yeah. Don't' worry, I'll try and get some food into her. If he's still there when we're done we'll just go across the street and sit in the park. If we don't come back, it probably means she fell asleep. She's wasted. "  
  
"I noticed. Okay, I'll see you later. I'm sorry about all this Roger. I know how you feel about Benny and all."  
  
"No, it's okay. You're right. We don't have a whole lot of choices. You want us to bring you some food?"  
  
"No that's okay. Just watch her. Maybe it's good she's messed up right now. Keep her from freaking out or anything, being out here and all. Look, let me go before he decides to cruise over here looking for me."  
  
Roger still had his left arm around Cass' waist and she was just sort of staring at the ground still. Roger went to turn her towards the door and stopped. "Mark." He reached his hand into the pocket of her overalls and pulled out the painkillers, tossing them to Mark. "Take those with you." 


	19. 19

A/N Another sort of short chapter. I could make them longer, but then they would be really long so I figured it would be better to break it up into more short chapters. Anyway, I hope you like how it's progressing so far. I'm trying to get into a habit of posting at least two times a week. As I've said before, the whole story is already written, it's just a matter of typing it up and sometimes finding time to do that with the baby and all is hard. To those of you who are following, my son Collin is now 3 ½ months old and he went as a cow for Halloween. This of course necessitated me signing "Leap of Faith" and saying "Moo with me" to him as we walked to various friend's houses.  
  
Special thanks to everyone who has submitted a review. Especially Sandy! It's good to know someone is still out there reading! Enjoy and please feel free to email me with any questions. I know at this point it's getting really long and it may be hard to remember some things from earlier on.  
  
  
  
Chapter 19  
  
  
  
Mark heard the bang on the loft door and knew from the sound it was Roger's foot kicking it.  
  
"Trust me, it was easier this way." Roger, who had Cass in his arms, said to Mark after seeing the look on his face. "She's fine, just wasted. And it would have taken forever for her to climb the stairs. Besides, climbing stairs with cracked ribs is no fun, believe me."  
  
He walked through the door and started to set her down. "Hey Marky." She said to him.  
  
"Hey sweetie. How do you feel?" He was starting to laugh.  
  
"Much, much better." She paused for a second. "I think."  
  
"Come on Cass." Roger had her by the waist and was leading her towards the bedroom. "Why don't you go take a nap for awhile."  
  
"I don't want to take a nap. I'm fine." But looking at her Mark wondered if she'd fall down if Roger let go of her.  
  
"Sure you do." Roger continued. "You just told me you wanted to take a nap. Remember? So why don't you go lie down." He took her into the air- conditioned bedroom and closed the door.  
  
After about ten minutes Roger came back out of the bedroom and sat in the armchair. "Well, she's asleep. You know, you don't realize how many steps there are in this place to get up here until you haul somebody up them." Roger laughed. He was actually in a really good mood. Mark was glad to see that. Surprised, but glad. "But such is life when you live in the penthouse!" He laughed.  
  
"Trust me, I know all about how many steps there are in this place." It had stared as a lighthearted comment back to Roger, but as Mark spoke the words he was regretting it by the end of the sentence. He watched the smile slide off Roger's face and could feel the same happen on his own.  
  
After a second or so Roger quietly spoke, with his eyes toward the ground, "Yeah, I guess you would, wouldn't you?"  
  
"Roger I didn't mean, I mean, I'm sorry."  
  
"No, I'm sorry. Sorry for making you do that. Sorry for everything that went with it. Sorry for never ever bothering to thank you back then."  
  
"It's okay." Mark said softly.  
  
"No it's not. I don't know how I thought I got up here half the time. I guess I always knew it was you. Thanks Mark. For all that."  
  
"What was I gonna do, you know? Leave you in the alley? Somebody might have done who knows what to you out there. Besides, half the time you were wearing my clothes." Mark grinned hoping to lighten the mood. It didn't work. Roger's face was still stone cold serious.  
  
Barely above a whisper Mark heard Roger speak again. "No really. For that. And April too. I mean you must have dragged her up here too I guess. I never really thought about it before, but you did didn't you? I know you never liked her either."  
  
"Well, that's not," Mark paused "entirely true. She was well," he stopped again. Roger knew he was lying. Mark could tell by his face. "Okay, yeah. I never liked her. I actually hated her for awhile I guess."  
  
"Yeah me too but then I realized some stuff. Fucked up as my life is, if it hadn't been for April I never would have meet Mimi."  
  
Mark just nodded. This was true. Mark knew it. Mark had thought this before when in the past he had let his brain have this conversation with itself. If not for everything that came before Roger had fallen in love with Mimi, there most likely never would have been a Mimi for Roger to fall in love with. And then, when things were good between Roger and Mimi and good for them, that was the happiest Mark had ever seen Roger up till then.  
  
Mark knew all this, but at the same time he also selfishly knew he would have rather had it the other way. He would have preferred a less happy Roger who never knew Mimi around for the next sixty or seventy years. Mark knew it was selfish and he hated it. He knew Roger had loved Mimi. Hell, Mark loved Mimi as well. But at the same time, deep down, he knew what the truth in his heart was. The truth was that Mark would have preferred giving up the existence of Mimi and the love she had for Roger for Mark's own selfish want to keep his best friend around forever. Mark knew that was the truth.  
  
So yes, life without April would have meant most likely life without Mimi and every good thing that came with Mimi. And while Mark would have preferred that, at the same time the thought of it felt as if something sort of stabbed him in the heart some.  
  
"And it wasn't like it was all April's fault you know? Yeah, she was already using a little when I met her and all, but it's not like she made me or anything."  
  
Mark didn't say anything. He couldn't. He wouldn't let himself. Roger had no idea what April was really even like, especially in the end, but by then it was too late.  
  
April was a greedy little smack whore in the end. Mark knew she always set them up. She always made Roger go first too. Whether it was to make sure the stuff was okay, or to make sure she got more in the end, Mark didn't know. Probably both he thought.  
  
He also knew that when she was hurting she'd do anything to get a fix. Anything or anyone. She hit on Mark on more than one occasion. Whatever he wanted if he'd give her $20. Mark had seen her do the same to others too. Guys in Roger's band. Benny. Even Collins. He knew she even tried it on Maureen. Maureen had told him. Yes, Mark had hated April. Hated her for who she was, what she did and what she represented to Mark. But he'd never tell Roger any of that. After years of all this, Roger had comes to terms with a lot of shit. Mark wasn't gonna fuck all that up now.  
  
"Do you ever think about her?" Roger asked without looking up.  
  
"April? Yeah, I guess. Sometimes." Actually a lot Mark realized. "Do you?" He finally asked Roger.  
  
"Yes. Sometimes. Sometimes a lot I guess. I don't miss her though. Not really. Not like I do Mimi. I mean, I'm sorry she's dead, but I'm not sorry she's gone."  
  
Roger and Mark just sat there for another minute or so before Roger spoke again. "Look, I guess what I'm getting at is, if I could change stuff I would you know. A lot of stuff. I would hate to have not had Mimi. I can't even imagine that actually. But changing stuff would probably have meant that. Mimi and April."  
  
Roger started picking at the duct tape on the arm of the chair again. "I guess I mean if I could go back, I'd change pretty much everything. Which would make pretty much everything else different too. You know what I mean?" He looked at Mark.  
  
Mark actually understood the twisted Roger logic and nodded at him.  
  
"Yeah, so pretty much everything." Roger's eyes went back to the duct tape. "Everything except for us. Me and you. You know? I just wanted you to know that okay?"  
  
"Uh huh." Mark nodded. He really didn't know what to say. Mark just sat there for a second before he softly said "Thanks Roger."  
  
"You're welcome." Roger picked up the remote control and turned on the TV. As he started to flip channels he looked at Mark and smiled. "But you still should have stole the cable from the guy on the third floor. Then we'd have porn channels!"  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"Yeah thanks Jason. It's just till he gets done I guess." Roger was sitting at the counter talking into the phone and holding the second ice pack to his eye when Cass opened the bedroom door and walked out.  
  
"Uh huh. Yeah, no he said it won't be late." Roger grinned at her. "Yeah tell him Friday. I'll let him know for sure. But I gotta go. Sleeping Beauty just got up. I'll talk to you later."  
  
Roger hung up the phone and turned on the barstool toward Cass as she sat down on the couch. "Good morning sunshine." He laughed at her. "How ya feeling?"  
  
"Obviously not as good as I felt before." Cass stretched out on the couch. "God Roger I'm so sorry about your eye. I never meant to do that. Are you okay?"  
  
"My eye is fine it's my reputation that's hurt. Beat up by a girl!" He laughed. "Just so you know, and anyone else that may ask, it was purely a lucky shot. Which I leaned into by the way."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Forget it. I told you, my eye, plus a bunch of other stuff was an accident. Okay? Just move on 'kay?" He smiled at her.  
  
Cass nodded, but her eyes were on the couch. "What time is it?"  
  
Roger laughed at her. "It's just after 7:00. That's pm just in case you're wondering. And it's Thursday now too just so you know."  
  
"Thursday night! You're kidding!" She sat up all the way on the couch. "Oh my God! How many of those pills did I take? And where's Mark? I'm surprised he didn't get my stomach pumped or something."  
  
"Relax." Roger laughed at her again. "I'm only kidding. You were only asleep about three and half-hours. It's still Wednesday."  
  
"Oh. Only three and a half-hours? Not days? You're sure?" She cracked a grin.  
  
"Yep." He was still laughing at her. "Just so you know for future reference, the pain killers she gave you, you're not supposed to pop those like you've been popping the Tylenol. Which by the way you're only supposed to be taking two of at a time anyway."  
  
"Strange," she grinned at him. "I know I still don't have my glasses, but from here you look like Roger, but the words coming from your mouth makes you sound like Mark."  
  
"All I'm saying is maybe you need to be a little more careful."  
  
"Don't start with me Davis, just because you and Mark share one brain and every time you get it back it suddenly has a social conscience is not my fault."  
  
Roger was cracking up at her at this point.  
  
"Speaking of which, where is your Siamese twin?"  
  
"Well, after giving me a hard time about my portion of the grocery list, he went to the store. About a half hour ago."  
  
"Why, what did you put on it? I told you he'd want more than food and beer." She laughed at him this time.  
  
"It did say more." He grinned and she could see a shallow dimple in his left cheek. "It said food, beer, cereal, Twinkies, Oreo's and Doritos."  
  
"Yum, healthy. You planning on getting the munchies or something?"  
  
"Ha ha, very funny. Do you want a beer?"  
  
"Where did we get beer from?"  
  
"Where else, grocery store of Jen." He laughed as he got up and took two beers from the fridge and walked over and sat on the other end of the couch.  
  
"She let you take her last two beers? She wouldn't even give those to Jason last night."  
  
"Well, you know, wounded in battle and all." He twisted off the cap and handed her a beer. "I told Jen the doctor said I would need something cold for my eye." Roger got a cheesy grin on his face and took a sip then held up his beer. "See, something cold. And I feel much better already."  
  
"You're insane Davis."  
  
"Yeah I know. But seriously, how do you feel?"  
  
"My arm's a little sore. And it already itches again. Other than that, just kinda hung over." She shrugged. "I guess I took a few too many pills."  
  
"Yeah, I guess." Roger looked down at the couch for a minute before looking up at her. He slid closer to her on the couch. "Cass? Listen, about this morning. You know I'm real sorry. About all of it. Especially yelling at you and stuff. And especially about freaking you out and all."  
  
"It's okay Roger." She said softly as she pulled her knees up towards her chin and wrapped her left arm around her legs.  
  
"No it's not." He said. "You don't know all of it. We, I mean I did it on purpose. Yelling at your and all." He couldn't look her in the face at this point. "We figured you'd try and get out of going to the doctor's, so we, I, decided if I picked a fight with you, you'd fight back. We were afraid it would be the only way to get you out. I'm real sorry Cass." He took a sip of his beer.  
  
"I never meant to scare you Cass. Really. I wasn't thinking. It was really stupid of me. I'm so sorry. Really."  
  
Cass stared at her beer bottle for a minute before she finally looked up at him. When she did, she had tears in her eyes. Roger met her eyes. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault. And you were right. I didn't have any intention of going to the doctor's this morning. I probably didn't have any intention of ever walking out the front door again to be honest." The tears started flowing down her cheeks. "I'm not mad at you."  
  
He was glad about that. He was afraid once she had time to reflect back on this morning, she would hate him. But she didn't. He just watched her as the tears kept slowly falling off her face. He leaned in and wrapped an arm around her. He felt her let him pull her close. They sat there on the couch for the next few minutes. Not talking. Not moving. Just sitting.  
  
Finally she took a deep, sob wracked breath. Cass stretched her legs out, leaning against. In a hoarse whisper she finally spoke to him. "I'm never going back there, you know. Not LA or France. Ever."  
  
"I figured that. You can stay here as long as you want. You know that right? Or at least as long as you can stand living in this crappy hell hole. And stand living with me and Mark."  
  
"Carlton had to of known all that stuff was going on with him back then didn't he? All the time stuff was happening. He knew and he never did anything. My own father. Nothing. Carlton used to send me to locations with him you know."  
  
"Ya well," Roger said as he interlocked his fingers with hers on her left hand. "I decided a long time ago that whole having a father around thing isn't all that it's cracked up to be most of the time."  
  
"I don't care if I never even see him again."  
  
"Yeah I know Cass."  
  
"Fucking bastard." She sobbed softly. "He fucking kills my mother and then does this crap. He made her get on that plane. He killed her and then he lets that bastard get away with all this crap he did to me over the years. He never stopped him. That fucking bastard." She was crying hard now. And she was mad. So mad her whole body was starting to shake.  
  
Roger just held her as she spoke. "That fucking bastard." She continued. "Both of them. All of them. If he would have done something, none of this would have happened. Fucking bastard."  
  
"I know Cass." Roger whispered to her. "I know." He pulled her back down on the couch. They just laid there. Not talking. Not moving. Roger just laid there on the couch with his arms around her. She rested her head on his chest and could hear his heart beating.  
  
"Fucking bastards." She said softly, one last time.  
  
Roger knew she had to talk to someone. Someone other than him and Mark. Someone that knew what to say beyond "uh huh" and "I know," because truthfully they didn't know. They didn't know the slightest fucking thing about any of this. Any of it except that she needed to talk to somebody more than just them.  
  
Collins said all he had to do was get her there. Get her there and introduce her to Elizabeth. Think of it like a cover he said. Just get her there. It didn't matter to them how he got her there as long as he did.  
  
Jason said tell her you wanted her to go with you. You want her there. You need her there. Just tell her that and she'll go. Tell her whatever it took was what they were saying. But Roger couldn't do that. He couldn't lie to her. Not him too. Not after it sounded like just about every other guy she's ever known has basically done that to her.  
  
No, Roger knew he couldn't lie to her. And he didn't want her to go to Life Support because of him. He didn't want to go there because of him. He certainly didn't want her having to go there for that reason. But she had to talk to someone. And Roger had met Elizabeth. He liked her. But he couldn't lie to Cass.  
  
Jason said tell Cass you needed her there. Cass needed to see Elizabeth. But Elizabeth was there at Life Support. He wanted Cass to be okay, but the last thing he wanted was Cass going there, especially because he lied to her to get her there. Yeah, he wanted Cass to be okay. He needed Cass to be okay. But for Cass to be okay she had to go there to see Elizabeth. So unfortunately he did need her to go there. But he knew he couldn't lie to her to get her there. He couldn't do that to her.  
  
"Cass?" Roger said softly. "Cass I gotta ask you to do something. I need you to do something for me. You gotta go talk to someone Cass. Somebody other than me and Mark. Somebody who knows hot to help you. Cause we don't. We don't know Cass. You need somebody better than us." He was stroking her hair as he talked.  
  
"We know this girl you see. Her name's Elizabeth. She's real nice Cass. I've met her once. And Collins and Jason know her too. I met her one night, with Mimi. You trusted Mimi right? Well Mimi liked her too.  
  
"The only thing is see, Elizabeth works at Life Support. She's a counselor there. I mean she's a regular counselor there, but she's also a rape counselor there too. I need you to go talk to her. Will you do that for me Cass? Please? Will you go talk to her? For me? And for Mark? Please? Will you go talk to her for me?"  
  
She just lay there letting Roger play with her hair. Listening to his heart beat. After what seemed like an eternity to Roger, but was really only a few minutes, she quietly started to answer him. "Will you go with me?"  
  
"Yes. Anything you want. I'll go with you."  
  
"Okay. I'll go if you go with me. No fights this time though. Okay? I'll go, I promise. Just no fights this time."  
  
"No fights." He told her. "No fights. I promise."  
  
"I promise too." She said softly 


	20. 20

A/N Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. It means a lot and is definitely an inspiration. I have so little "me" time now with the baby that I have to pick and choose what I'm going to do. Getting reviews helps make typing worth it! Even if it is a true challenge some times. For instance, I had to type this note with only one hand, and the last two whole pages were typed while holding Collin! (a.k.a. squirming 4 month old also known as "The Insomniac"). Thanks again!  
  
  
  
Chapter 20  
  
  
  
They laid there on the couch like that for awhile longer. Cass listening to his heart beat in his chest and Roger playing with her hair. Not talking. Barely moving. Just laying there in the semi darkness of the living room as the sunlight coming in through the two open windows faded towards darkness.  
  
After awhile they heard Mark's key in the lock and the door opening. Neither of them moved. Mark came in and closed the door behind him. They could hear him setting the plastic grocery bags on the counter.  
  
"I'm back." They heard him call out to them. When Cass still didn't move, neither did Roger.  
  
"Cass? Roger? Are you guys here?" Roger knew from the kitchen you couldn't see anyone lying on the couch.  
  
"I can't believe them!" Mark started.  
  
Cass turned her head toward Roger who was starting to crack a grin. He put a finger to his lips to tell her to be quiet.  
  
"I go to the grocery store, to get them food and they take off! Great! I can't believe they went out!" Mark was throwing food into cupboards and slamming the refrigerator door. "And it's not like they leave me a note or anything to tell me where they went!"  
  
Roger was having a hard time not laughing out loud. And holding it in was making it even harder. Which was making Cass laugh too. She had her hand over her mouth trying hard not to make any noise.  
  
"I can't believe him. He won't go anywhere for months. She's here five days and he take off. Since when does leaving a recluse alone with someone who won't leave the apartment without a fist fight mean they eat out and I'm stuck eating cereal alone." They could hear him opening a box of cereal.  
  
"I can't believe him," Mark set a bowl on the counter. "God Roger, don't waste any time. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised. After all I went and told him it was okay to--"  
  
"Hey!" Roger sat up on the couch so fast he almost knocked Cass onto the floor, but he wanted to shut Mark up before he finished that sentence.  
  
Mark jumped as he heard Roger's voice. "What the! What the hell are you doing? Trying to give me a heart attack?"  
  
"Um, sorry." Roger could feel his ears starting to burn and was glad it was somewhat dark in the living room. "We were, um, taking a nap and didn't hear you come in."  
  
"Right." Mark just looked at Roger and smirked at him. Actually he was pretty proud of himself. Usually he didn't catch on anywhere near this fast, but this time he did. He caught on right away, and dropped the whole subject. For now anyway.  
  
Roger helped Cass up from the couch. "Sorry" he whispered to her. She looked from him to Mark and back to him and just laughed a little. Roger could feel his ears burning again.  
  
"So you, um, got groceries?" Roger asked him. God I sound like an idiot he thought as he and Cass sat down on the barstools.  
  
"Yeah Roge, I got groceries." Oh this could be fun after all.  
  
"Yeah, I guess you did huh? So what did you get? Dinner?"  
  
"Where are my cigarettes?" Cass asked him  
  
"Um," Mark stalled a little. "I got some Twinkies and Oreo's and more coffee and milk."  
  
"Cool Oreo's. Where are they?" Roger asked.  
  
Mark tossed him the Oreo's. Roger opened them, pulled two out; handed one to Cass then twisted the other one open. "That takes care of dinner." He said as he started to lick the filling from the inside.  
  
Cass looked at her Oreo and then Roger and then rolled her eyes at him. "Whatever. Where are my cigarettes?"  
  
"Um, I got some of those microwave black bean and vegetarian burritos you liked Cass. But you'll have to use Jen's microwave I guess."  
  
"Uh huh." Cass was looking at him. "Great, but my cigarettes?"  
  
"I got you gum." Mark said in an almost little kid voice.  
  
"Gum is good," she could tell he was stalling, "but what about my cigarettes Marky?"  
  
"Um, okay I forgot to get cigarettes."  
  
"Right. Forgot." She just looked at him.  
  
"Okay, I didn't forget. But you know what, you want cigarettes, then you go out and buy them." There, that should take care of that he thought.  
  
"Oh give me a break Mark. Just pick them up for me. What's the big deal?"  
  
"Yeah, what's the big deal Mark?" Roger asked, twisting his fourth Oreo open.  
  
"Well the big deal is, you don't smoke Cass. Not any more. And if I keep buying you cigarettes, then you'll keep smoking. And then he'll start smoking again." He pointed at Roger. "And then he'll start burning holes in the couch again."  
  
"Hey! How did I get into this?"  
  
"Why do you think there's duct tape on the chair to begin with?" He said to Roger before turning back to Cass. "And then this whole place will stink of smoke again. And he'll burn holes in my clothes, again. And holes in the floor. And holes in my note books. And over flowing ashtrays, because it must take some special advanced degree in I don't know what to know how to empty those. And then I gotta start getting up at 4 am again to make sure he doesn't pass out smoking in bed and burn the whole place down along with everything in it, which by the way is everything I own. And," Mark suddenly realized he was kinda going off on them. "Besides, I thought you were a marathon runner now?" Well, that was a feeble attempt at a save.  
  
Cass just looked at him for a second. "I see. First I thought you were concerned about my health. Then I thought it was Roger's. But I understand now Mark. You're worried about your wardrobe and all your priceless belongings." She couldn't stop herself any longer. She started laughing. And so did Roger. That only made Cass laugh harder and Mark start laughing when he looked at him as well.  
  
Roger looked at them, still laughing. "What?" He said between Oreo's.  
  
"Nothing Oreo boy!" Cass teased him. "Let's just say your teeth match your eye right now."  
  
"Oh well." He laughed, reaching for another Oreo.  
  
"You're going to ruin your dinner." Mark told him.  
  
"Most likely this is my dinner, Mom."  
  
"Oh very healthy." Cass laughed at him. "Ill tell you what. Now that I'm not the only one with a black eye, I guess I'd be a little more willing to go out. If we go somewhere that's kinda quiet and dark. Maybe not too busy."  
  
"You actually want to go out?" Mark asked her.  
  
"Maybe." She shrugged.  
  
Roger could tell she was losing her nerve quick. "Okay. We'll go anywhere you want. You do realize you are paying right?" He asked as he walked around to the fridge and pulled out the milk. "I can guarantee you we don't have any extra cash. Especially after Benny today I'm sure." Cass laughed. Good he thought.  
  
"Yes, I figured I'd pay." She smiled at him.  
  
"Cool. I'm in." Roger said as he drank the milk out of the carton.  
  
"Will you please use a glass!" Mark yelled at him. "And brush your teeth before we go anywhere."  
  
Roger put down the milk on the counter and walked up behind Mark. "I don't know Cass. Maybe we should leave Mark here." Mark was about to argue with him, but before he could say anything Roger put him in a headlock. "I mean it just won't look right if we take him out with us. He looks wrong. Maybe we need to give him a black eye too. So he fits in. You know, matches the group." He was laughing and smiling an Oreo smile.  
  
"You guys are too much."  
  
"Let me go loser." Mark told him.  
  
After pretending to rough up Mark, Roger let him go. "Hey was that Benny out front today? How did that go anyway? Did we have enough or did you hear shit from him?"  
  
"Yeah, that was him alright. I got back here just in time too. He saw me come around the corner just as he was about to drive over to the Life Café. I think he honestly believes we do nothing but go there when we walk out this door." Mark shook his head.  
  
"You go other places?" Cass asked him, trying to sound astonished.  
  
Mark didn't pay any attention to what she said and kept going. "Yeah, we had enough, sort of. What we were short, I convinced Benny I had worked off, what with the empty apartment and all."  
  
"How much does he make you pay?" Cass asked them.  
  
"Well, it sort of varies." Mark told her. "It depends on how much I had to do for him that month to take care of this dump. Plus it depends on how much we actually have." He gave Roger a look. "It's not like we all don't know there is no way he can legally rent any of the fourth floor the way it is now. Besides lately he doesn't seem to argue too much about however much I do have. It's not like whatever it is isn't going straight into his pocket. I mean it sure doesn't go into a business account or anything I'm sure."  
  
"Maybe Muffy cut his allowance." Roger joked.  
  
"Yeah well," he looked at Roger. "Alison," then back to Cass, "does kinda keep him on a short leash lately."  
  
"Sometimes I wish she would have made him give this place up like she was threatening to do. Then we'd be done dealing with his sorry ass."  
  
"Ah, hello? You do remember our only other option is that cardboard box thing right? So until one of us makes it rich and famous, maybe we should just try to play nice with him. Or I'll play nice and you just stay away from him. Okay?"  
  
"Fine. Whatever."  
  
"Wait, I'm confused." Cass started to ask. "So who actually owns the building? Benny or his wife?"  
  
"Well, that's sort of complicated. See Benny had some money sort of. What happened was, he had inherited like a big chunk of money from his grandmother's estate after selling her house after she died."  
  
"It wasn't a 'big chunk,' only a few thousand dollars." Roger said with a bitter edge to his voice.  
  
"Actually more like closer to 100 thousand before taxes. Regardless, way more than either of us have seen in like forever, hence it's a big chunk."  
  
"Whatever, just tell her the rest."  
  
"Okay so he's got this money see, and he's just started dating Alison. Well this is like what, about a year after we got here?"  
  
Roger nodded. "Yeah, I guess."  
  
"So he thinks it will really impress Alison if he asks her dad for investment advice. I mean Benny's not stupid. At least financially. He knew he would lose a bundle of it to estate taxes unless he did something smart with it. Anyway her dad's got all these investments going and I guess he was a good person to talk to seeing as how he was pretty successful and rich."  
  
"Not to mention also a total ass like Benny."  
  
Again Mark ignored him and kept going. "So he talks Benny into investing in something with him. We all thought he was crazy and her dad was going to royally screw him, because he really didn't like Benny. But apparently his opinion changed after Benny had all this extra cash that her Dad could use for investing in his stuff. But surprise, this stuff actually pans out and he ends up making more money."  
  
"Which her dad kept a real close eye on and kept putting back into his own investments." Roger smirked.  
  
"Yeah well, that's true. I think he was using Benny's money to help all his stuff along. Which meant Benny was actually making money, but he couldn't really touch it. It also meant he had to stay in good with her dad."  
  
"Which meant keep Muffy happy."  
  
"Can I please tell this story?" He gave Roger an annoyed look. "But yeah, keep Muffy, I mean Alison, happy. So he marries her. Which means he gets to use her family's name and money to keep investing in stuff, sort off." Mark laughed.  
  
"He means after Muffy approves it and gives him the money because Daddy still has his all tied up." Roger laughed. "And he can't really do anything about it because Daddy made him sign a pre-nup."  
  
"Well, yeah." Mark smiled. "But so we had all been living here illegally. Well, we were living here, Benny was technically living here but staying at Alison's."  
  
"When she'd let him, and when Daddy wasn't going to be dropping by."  
  
"Anyway," He paused and gave Roger another look; "the old guy that owned this place lived on the first floor. That's why those are the nicest apartments. He bought it when it was a still a working music publishing house. After that closed he started to convert the whole place over. He put basic apartments in floor by floor and then really did up the first floor nice. He lived in the big one and his sister and kid in each of the smaller ones. Unfortunately, or actually fortunately for the poverty stricken us, he started to run out of money and had to slow down. He was doing most of it himself. He was old and retired and after he got the second and third floors done and rentable, he went back and really did up the ones on the first floor. He always planned on finishing the fourth floor, but he had a heart attack before he could do it.  
  
"So that really cut down on his working on it. Well it was here and vacant and his kid knew someone who needed a place real cheap I guess. So they moved in and it got handed through NYU students a couple of times until somebody Collins knew was moving out and finally we ended up here.  
  
"Well we were here a little over a year when the old guy died. And by then the sister had moved to Florida or something."  
  
"Oh she was a bitch too." Roger felt the need to add.  
  
"And the kid inherited this place. Well Benny kind of knew him and all and when he started complaining about the hassles of owning this place Benny told him he should sell it. See Benny had heard rumors, through Alison's dad's company about the zoning changes and stuff. I told you about Benny's Cyber Arts dream and all right?"  
  
Cass nodded.  
  
"So Alison's pissed at her dad about something, so to get at daddy, she helps Benny get the loan for the money to buy this place. So technically, it's Benny's, but he can't really do anything without Alison's okay."  
  
"Or daddy's." Roger added.  
  
"Right. Alison or daddy's okay."  
  
"But why didn't Benny kick you guys out and just finish off the fourth floor like the rest of the building? Then he could rent it out."  
  
"Cause he can't." Roger grinned  
  
"What do you mean? Why not?"  
  
"It's because of the zoning. He thought he could do just that, when the Cyber Arts thing happened. That was his plan. But then it all fell apart. Because of the zoning, to re do the fourth floor he would have to bring the entire building up to new code standards, not just he fourth floor.  
  
See the old guy before, because he lived here on the property and had had it for so long, was grandfathered into all the old zone codes. He could have done it, but not Benny, or any new owner. Benny looked into it. For anyone new, you would have to re-do the whole building which not only meant putting money out, but not getting money in because some of the second and third floor would have to be vacant while the renovations were going on. And Alison wouldn't give him the money he needed to do that."  
  
"And she wouldn't let daddy do it either." Roger said dryly.  
  
"Why not? It would make much better business sense?"  
  
"Basically to punish Benny." Mark told her.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"By that point Alison had found out about some stuff." Mark looked toward Roger, who was pulling apart another Oreo with much more concentration than any Oreo ever warranted. Cass gave him a confused look and was about to ask him what he meant by that. Mark wanted to keep this whole part of the story to a minimum for Roger's sake so he just told enough. He knew she could fill in the blanks. "Benny had some other investments and hobbies." He could tell Cass caught on when her eyes went to Roger and the Oreo for a moment.  
  
"The only way to re-do just this floor would be if the owner was doing it for themselves to live in. Because it was owner occupation or something like that Benny said it could be done. And there were some other rules that went with that too, but it didn't matter, there was no way Alison was going to move to the village and live in this place. She told Benny to go ahead if he wanted to, but there was that whole pre-nup thing so even if he did leave her and move in here, he'd never be able to afford to actually do anything to this place."  
  
"In other words," Roger got an evil grin on his face, "Benny got screwed. And not in a good way."  
  
"Basically, yeah." Mark agreed.  
  
"So technically, by punishing Benny, Alison is saving your butts. That must kind of piss him off a little."  
  
"Yeah it must." Roger grinned.  
  
"I think that's why she keeps it up. Like I said, short leash any more. But Roger's right, it is fun to watch him squirm." Mark laughed. "However Benny and Alison have a somewhat sick and twisted relationship anyway."  
  
"So was he his usual jackass self today? Did he give you a hard time about the money?" Roger asked.  
  
"No, not really, but I thought he would never leave. I kept telling him I had stuff to do, but I think she was home waiting for him or something. He just kept talking. Asking about Collins, my film, even Maureen."  
  
"What? He didn't ask about me?" Roger said sarcastically.  
  
"Um, no. But just when I had him almost out the door, the Fed Ex guy shows up with Cass' boxes and he starts in on that. I thought I'd never get him out. I was about to ask him if he was moving back in or something." Mark said exasperated.  
  
"My stuff came? Already?"  
  
Roger could hear the nervous edge come back into her voice. "What did you tell the nosey SOB?"  
  
"Just that one of my friends was on their way to New York and shipped some stuff they couldn't travel with. Then I started asking him about Alison. She got a new dog by the way."  
  
"Another one? What is that the fifth? What happened to the last one?" Roger was watching Cass. She was staring at the two large boxes just inside the front door.  
  
"Fourth. Last one chewed through the electrical cord on a lamp while they were out. Unfortunately the lamp was turned on." Mark noticed Cass looking at the boxes. "Cass you still want to go to dinner or do you want to go through your stuff?"  
  
"Um, I don't know I guess. Maybe. Mark where are those painkillers the doctor gave me? My arm really hurts again." While she spoke she never took her eyes off the boxes.  
  
"Um," Mark paused. "I, um put them somewhere. Um, where did I put them? I think in my room." He shot a look at Roger who, behind Cass' back held up a finger and mouthed the word 'one' to him. "Yeah, that's right. I was trying to talk to Benny and all. I'll get them." He went to his room for the pills.  
  
"Cass why don't we go eat and we'll do this tomorrow. Didn't you deal with enough crap today?" Roger asked her.  
  
"No. No I want to do it and get it over with. Besides, maybe it's not that bad. Giavanna tends to over exaggerate a lot of things. Maybe it's not so bad."  
  
Roger was pretty sure she was trying to convince herself more than him, especially since she still hadn't moved yet. "Okay, if you're sure."  
  
"Here you go Cass." Mark handed her one small white pill and a glass of water.  
  
"Thanks. Yes, Gia, she tends to get a little carried away. It can't be all that bad. Besides I can get my glasses hopefully. Gia's sweet and all, but she gets excited. It can't be as bad as she said. Right? I mean she just tends to get excited." 


	21. 21

Chapter 21  
  
  
  
Roger put the boxes on the floor in the living room, one in front of the chair and one next to it by the couch. He sat next to the one by the couch and Cass sat right next to him. Mark walked in with three beers and sat in the chair.  
  
"You want me to open them Cass?" Mark asked as he handed them their beers.  
  
"Yes, go ahead." She said as she pulled her knees up under her chin.  
  
Mark opened the first box and pulled out a piece of paper from the top of the box. "It's a note from Giavanna." He looked at her.  
  
"Well go ahead and read it." Cass shrugged.  
  
Mark looked down at the note. "Cass, I did the best I could, but most of the clothes you had here just weren't salvageable. I'm real sorry. It was either covered in paint, soaked and stained form the case of wine, or just ripped up. I didn't bother to send it if it was trashed. Plus some of it just reeked of wine. I was afraid it would stink up what was left." Mark looked at Cass. She just sat there on the couch listening to him, but expressionless. "Your suitcases were all cut up. I think he used the utility knife we were using the other night to cut open the boxes.  
  
"Unfortunately your new leather jacket was destroyed. Along with those boots we just got in Venice."  
  
"Now that's just cruel. That was the greatest jacket. And great boots. I didn't even get to wear either of them. Maybe my skirt made it."  
  
"Um," Mark continued, "I don't think so Cass. She goes on to say your skirt got a big slice in it."  
  
Cass just shrugged and let out a sigh.  
  
Mark kept reading. "It hurts to say, but your channel five wound up against the wall I think."  
  
"What?" Roger asked him.  
  
Cass let out a small laugh. "That's Chanel #5 Mark. It's perfume."  
  
"Oh." He went back to the letter. "I put your jewelry in a envelope. Your necklace was busted, and I haven't been able to find your mom's cross yet. I'm real sorry Cass. Hopefully it will turn up when the villa is cleaned up. If I find it, I'll send it right out to you."  
  
Roger looked at Cass. He could see tears welling up in her eyes. He silently reached over and took her hand and squeezed it.  
  
"I found your glasses. I think they got stepped on. Bother lenses were busted along with the frames, so I just threw them out." Mark stopped reading and looked up at her. "Well at least you know you need new ones now. I love you Cass, you know that. And I'd do anything for you, but we gotta get you glasses soon. This sharing mine thing is making me crazy." He gave her a weak smile.  
  
"Yeah Cass, Mark will do anything for you except let you wear his glasses." Roger gave Mark a playful but evil grin. "Oh and buy you cigarettes."  
  
She laughed a little and that was Roger's goal. "You two are two much. Does it say anything else?"  
  
"Yeah, here's the last part." Mark began to read again. "I did the best I could Cass, really. I'm sorry about all of it. I'm so glad you're okay. Call me if you need anything. Anything at all.  
  
"I also figured you could use it more than my brother, so I sent you a little surprise. Also a big one in the other box. Don't worry I charged all of it to the company. Love you, Gia."  
  
Cass got a small smile on her face. "Well at least tonight won't be a total loss."  
  
"What do you mean?" Mark asked her.  
  
"It means get me three shot glasses. You are about to have the smoothest, most incredible Norwegian Vodka that ever came out of a tiny little distillery ever. Gia had gotten this one for her brother, but we had a bottle of it once before. It's really good. And very hard to find. Even in Norway."  
  
Mark set the glasses down as Roger started to pull the fist few things out of the box. The Vodka was wrapped up in a shirt.  
  
"Well don't just look at it," Cass told him, "pour it and let's get drunk."  
  
Roger poured three shots and handed one to her and one to Mark. Without waiting on them, Cass raised it, drank it back and slammed her shot glass down on the milk crate table. Roger followed her and with a moment's hesitation, so did Mark.  
  
"Told you it was good." She said as she poured another round. "What else is in the box?" She asked Mark as she threw her second shot back.  
  
"Um," Mark began, "looks like some more clothes." He pulled things out and showed her things a few at a time. She told him what to keep and what to toss as he held stuff out for her to see.  
  
"Here's some CD's, looks like some are computer CD's and some are music. Some more regular computer disks. Some computer wires and stuff. Here's a bunch of pictures in this envelope." He handed them to Roger to hand to her, but he started looking at hem first.  
  
"Is that you?" Roger asked Cass.  
  
"Yes. And Gia. We were on the Riviera. That was over last Christmas."  
  
"Nice." Roger said as he showed the picture to Mark.  
  
"Wow. Is that Giavanna? She's gorgeous."  
  
"Yes she is. But she knows it too. Gets annoying sometimes."  
  
"Holy shit Cass, is this on as topless beach?" Roger asked her.  
  
"Let me see!" Mark grabbed at the pictures.  
  
"What are you two, twelve or something?" She poured a third shot for herself and Roger. "Yes it's a topless beach, it's the French Riviera. We've gone there for Christmas the last three years." She threw back her shot and hit the table with her glass again. "What else is in the box?" She tried to get Mark back on track.  
  
"A bunch of papers. Some folders. One says research. This one says 'Invs. Prop.' It looks like it sat in a wine puddle, but she dried it out."  
  
"Toss it. I was thinking about investing in some property. Tax reasons. I was looking into some stuff in Italy. Not now!" She drank back her forth shot.  
  
"There are a couple of books."  
  
"Well at least I've got something to read."  
  
"Here's another picture." Mark said as he pulled two small framed pictures out of a shirt it was wrapped up in.  
  
"That's my mother. That other one is the two of us, on her birthday. About a month before she died."  
  
"Wow, you really do look a lot like her, you know Cass?" Mark said to her as he sat the two frames on the table next to his untouched second shot.  
  
"You really do." Roger added.  
  
"So I've been told. What else?"  
  
"Um, some more papers, an address book and I think this must be your jewelry in this envelope. Here's another envelope. Must be more jewelry." He set the two envelopes on the floor beside him.  
  
"What does it say on that one?" Roger asked.  
  
"What? Oh," Mark said as he turned it over. "It says 'Cass, I'm sorry. I tied off the ends so no more beads fall off, but I can't find them all. If they turn up I'll send them, but I'm afraid they rolled into the floor vent'."  
  
Mark could tell she was unsure of what was in the envelope, but he could also tell she was getting drunk at this point. "Do you want me to open it?"  
  
Cass nodded as she poured a fifth shot for herself. Mark's second and Roger's fourth shots still sat untouched.  
  
"I think it's a bracelet or part of one, with a cross on it." Mark carefully pulled out of the envelope a string of soft pink colored beads with a silver cross attached. "Some of the loose beads are in the envelope."  
  
Roger grinned at Mark and let out a small laugh. "It's not a braclet dummy, it's a rosary."  
  
"Oh. Like I'm supposed to know that." Mark said at Roger as he handed the beads to Cass.  
  
"It was my mom's." She told them as she looked at what was left of the rosary. "It's rose quartz. She always loved pink. She got it on her first communion from my grandparents. She gave it to me on mine. It's from the Vatican. My grandparents got it for her there. It had been blessed by the Pope. Guess it didn't do it much good." She shrugged, but was still holding the rosary in her left hand. "It was a really big deal to my mom though." She was starting to slur a little as she handed Roger his drink from before and she drank back her fifth shot.  
  
Roger drank his shot and then put the cap on the vodka bottle. He handed the bottle to Mark. "Go put that in the freezer, it will be better cold."  
  
Mark got the hint and took the bottle to the kitchen as Cass continued. "Yeah, she used to drag me with her every week while she went to confession. Didn't matter where we were, we still went to confession. And mass. Sometimes twice a week. I could always tell when she and Carlton or she and Andre were fighting. It meant back to confession for the second time that week.  
  
"She always had that Rosary with her till she gave it to me." She shrugged again, still holding onto the rosary tightly.  
  
Roger was watching her and he saw her notice Mark's till untouched shot. Before she moved for it, he reached over and picked it up. "You don't want this right Marky?" Roger swallowed it before Mark could answer or Cass could say anything about it.  
  
She leaned into Roger a little more as she slid down the couch a little. "Well it won't do me much good now, but I guess that doesn't matter much. It's not like I use it all that much you know?" Cass laughed.  
  
"What do you mean?" Mark asked her.  
  
"Well can't you just see it?" She said to both of them. "It's not like I've been to mass all that often lately. I mean I did mass over Easter last year, but that was 'cause of Gia." She laughed a little and Mark knew she was drunk and remembered they still hadn't eaten anything since lunch. Then he remembered the painkillers too.  
  
"But can't you see it. Walk in, sit down." She did a messy version of crossing herself. "Forgive me father for I have sinned, it's been a really long, long time since my last confession. You better pull up a chair, this is gonna take awhile!" She laughed. "Oh yeah, that would be good. Me going back to confession after everything I've been doing over the years." She laughed another soft, drunken laugh.  
  
Roger knew she was upset. "You?" He smiled at her. "What about me? The closest I've come to a Hail Mary in probably 15 years is a Giants game on TV. Forget the actual having sex and stuff, the impure thoughts alone thing would have me stuck in that stupid little booth for days! Not to mention everything else I could tell him. Wouldn't that be funny to watch the look on some old priest face during some of those stories?"  
  
"Yeah, funny. We should do that someday."  
  
"What?" Roger looked at her like she was not just drunk, but crazy too. "Go to confession? Are you nuts?"  
  
"It might be fun, you know? Go terrorize a couple of priests. It's not like they didn't terrorize us as kids."  
  
"I suppose that's true." Roger laughed at her.  
  
"Is the vodka cold yet?"  
  
"No not yet." Roger told her, glancing over at Mark.  
  
"Oh. Where are those Oreo's? I'm hungry. Do you guys still want to go out to eat?"  
  
"Um, you sure you're up for that Cass?" Mark asked her. He had a feeling if they even tried to get any food, Roger would be caring her again before they hit the front stoop.  
  
"Of course I'm up for that. I might just need another one of those painkillers for my arm first."  
  
Roger looked at Mark, who had that worried mother hen look on his face. Out of Cass' line of vision he shook his head at Mark. "You just took one before when we were in the kitchen. Give it a little more time to kick in. Why don't we eat something first?"  
  
"Okay, how about Oreo's?"  
  
"How about the burritos instead?" Mark asked. "I'll go down to Jen's and heat some up. I got vegetarian ones for you and beef and chicken for us." Mark stood up and handed Roger the TV remote. "I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"  
  
"Okay." She said as she slid the rest of the way down on the couch and rested her head in Roger's lap. He turned on the TV and started to play with her hair. "Maybe we'll go to dinner tomorrow night." She said as she closed her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, maybe Cass." Roger told her as he stoked her hair. "Maybe."  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
Mark opened the apartment door and walked in with the plate of burritos. He sat them on the milk crate as he sat down on the couch next to Roger.  
  
"Okay, I know I don't cook often, or ever actually, but since when does it take thirty minutes to nuke a couple of five minute burritos?" Roger asked as he picked up a burrito and one of the paper towels Mark had taken from Jen's kitchen.  
  
"Burritos do only take about five minutes. It's Jen's need to know everything that is going on that takes the other twenty-five. Where's Cass?" Mark asked as he bit into one of the other burritos.  
  
"After like ten minutes she was out cold so I put her in bed. She's out for the night."  
  
"That's what I figured. Probably not the best idea letting her drink while taking painkillers. Plus all this other shit going on too."  
  
"Probably not the best idea letting her drink or take the pain killers because of all this other shit going on."  
  
"True."  
  
"How many of those pills does she have left?"  
  
"After today? Not that many. Maybe she should sort of run out a little early. I mean she's got no idea how many were in the bottle anyway."  
  
"Yeah, that might be a good idea." Roger leaned back on the couch. "We sort of talked about some stuff today."  
  
Mark stopped mid bite into his burrito. "What did she say?" He asked wide- eyed.  
  
"Not much. She's really pissed at her dad. Says she doesn't care if she ever sees him again. She's pretty convinced he knew what was going on. That all of them had to of at least suspected something. She says she's never going back there again."  
  
"Well, we'll never starve as long as she lives with us." Mark said as he finished his burrito, trying hard to find a good side. "You wanna split her burrito?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Did she freak out again?" He asked as he went to the kitchen for a knife.  
  
"No, not really. She's gonna go see Elizabeth thought. Friday night I guess."  
  
"Really? How did you convince her to go? What's the cover story so I know? You know I'm a lousy liar. Maybe you better keep me out of it. She'll smell fear and lies on me and either run the other way or gouge my eyes out to find out the truth." He cut the burrito, then pushed Roger's half toward him.  
  
"There's no story. We're just going. I asked her to go see Elizabeth and she's going. I told Jason to call her, tell her we'd be by Friday night. I gotta bartend tomorrow."  
  
"We?" Mark squeezed his burrito so hard at that statement half of it started to gush out the cut open end. "You're going with her? There? Willingly? And she's going? And she knows why you're going? She knows why we want her to see Elizabeth? And she's going? Willingly?"  
  
"Jesus Mark you're making a mess." Roger handed him back the paper towel. "Yes I'm going. Let's not make a federal case out of it okay? And yes, I told her who and what Elizabeth is. She knows and I guess she's all right with it. I mean she's going."  
  
"Wow. How did you do that? What did you say to her? When I brought up the Women Center she about bit my head off."  
  
"I dunno." Roger was playing with the other half of the burrito on the plate. "I just asked her to go."  
  
"That's it, you just asked her?"  
  
"Uh huh. We were just talking."  
  
"Uh huh?"  
  
"And I told her she needed to talk to somebody other than the current two idiots she's been talking too. Somebody that had a clue as to what to do. Then I asked her to go see Elizabeth."  
  
"That was it?" Mark was still amazed.  
  
"Yeah, that was it." Roger took a bite out of his half of the burrito.  
  
"Wow. That never would have worked for me. She would have gotten out of it. I know it. I can't believe I've known her all these years and you met her, what, five days ago and you manage to pull that off. How did you do that? What's wrong?" Mark stopped when he saw the look on Roger's face.  
  
"What is this?" Roger asked with a mouthful of food then swallowed hard.  
  
"A burrito."  
  
"I know that, but what kind?"  
  
Mark started to laugh. "Well, it's the one I made for Cass. It's tofu." He kept laughing.  
  
"Oh." Roger paused and looked at it for a second. "I guess it's okay, now that I know what it is. Does she always eat like this?"  
  
"Buddy wait till you see. It's amazing. By the end of that summer I was eating meatless everything with a side of hippie style health food stuff. Of course that was just to off set the coffee, bagels, ice cream and alcohol. But everything came with stuff like soybeans and sprouts. I still can't believe she got me to eat some of that stuff."  
  
"Not to mention running." Roger laughed at him.  
  
"Yeah, running too. I don't know how she does it. She just gets to you, you know?"  
  
"Mark," he gave him a dah-ha look. "I'm sitting here eating a tofu burrito. Trust me, I've noticed." Roger laughed as he finished the rest of his dinner.  
  
Mark laughed again. "I still can't believe you got the only person I know who is at least, if not more stubborn than you, to agree to something I know she doesn't want to do."  
  
"Yeah well, we were just talking about it and I asked her to go. That's what we were doing on the couch. Talking."  
  
"Right." Mark grinned at him. "Sure you were."  
  
"We were!" Roger could feel his neck getting hot. "Really. That's all we were doing. Just talking."  
  
"Give me a break. I've known you way too long to believe that. You've never 'just talked' with any girl on a couch, in the dark, since you were like twelve."  
  
"Give me a break asshole, that's not true." Roger laughed.  
  
"Trust me, I lived vicariously through your life from like fourth grade on with that stuff. That's true. And I've been on a couch in the dark with this girl in particular." Mark gave Roger the hugest grin. "So no, I don't believe you."  
  
"Well it's the truth. I'm not saying I wouldn't mind," Roger cracked a grin, "but now is not the time Jerkoff. Show a little sensitivity. There's a lot of issues involved. On both sides."  
  
"Okay, maybe I believe you, but only because of that part. If it wasn't for that, forget it, not for a second."  
  
"Yeah well, I haven't touched her."  
  
"Yet." Mark felt the need to add.  
  
"Drop it Mark." Roger was starting to get annoyed and started channel surfing as Mark started straitening up the stuff that had come out of Cass' box. "Hey, is that those pictures? The ones of her and Giavanna?" He asked Mark.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Roger reached at the envelope, but Mark grabbed it first and held it back out of his reach.  
  
"You want to know if there's any of her on that topless beach!" Mark teased him. "You pig! I thought you had issues?"  
  
"I got issues, but I'm not dead yet!" With that Roger dove at Mark and wrestled the pictures out of his hand. 


	22. 22

Chapter 22  
  
  
  
"Hey Cass? It's Jason." He called to her as he came through the loft door carrying his sketchpad and backpack.  
  
Cass jumped when she heard his voice. Her head spun around to see him. "How did you get in? I locked the door. I know I locked the door!"  
  
Jason saw the look of panic cross her face and he could hear it in her voice. "Oh, um, I'm sorry Cass. I didn't mean to freak you out. It's just habit. I've got a key. I'm really sorry Cass." He could see her start to relax a little. "Just so you know, so does Collins. Actually, Jen might too, I'm not sure. I think she does have one to Maureen's thought. And she's got one to our place. And Maureen and Joanne have one for here too. And of course Benny's got one, but no one can help that." Cass was still just looking at him. "Well, um, how else would we ever get in? I mean it's not like either of them ever move all that fast to answer the door." He joked with her, trying to lighten up the mood and make her feel better. "I mean this is New York you know. It's only on 'Friends' that they leave their doors unlocked so just anyone can walk in."  
  
"Good thing to know I guess." She said back at him. "Come on in. Just throw those papers on the floor." Cass was sitting on the couch with her laptop. It was plugged in and the phone wire ran across the floor to the phone. She had paper stacked and piled all along the couch next to her legs.  
  
"Don't worry about it." He dropped the pad and backpack on the floor next to the chair and sat down. "What happened to all this stuff?" Jason picked up one of the many purple stained pages of paper.  
  
"Wine. Good wine at that. A total waste." She said disgustedly. "It's all stuff from Italy. It got here yesterday."  
  
"Oh." Jason was sorry he had asked.  
  
"So what are you doing here in the middle of the afternoon?"  
  
"Oh you know, I was on my way home from work. My classes end early on Thursdays. Just thought I'd come by and hang out. Collins won't make it home on Thursdays till at least eight or so this term."  
  
"Uh huh." She looked at him. "Well you just missed Roger. He left about twenty minutes ago."  
  
"Yeah I figured that."  
  
"And Mark won't be home till about six or seven he said."  
  
"Yeah, he told me." Cass had been watching him. At that last comment her eyebrows went up as she sort of nodded her head while listening to him. Jason was getting a bad gut feeling.  
  
"I've had the phone tied up with the computer for hours. Did Mark call you?"  
  
"Oh no, I," he was about to say Roger told me yesterday when we talked but he realized she was trying to find out why he was there and quickly changed his direction. "I just thought I'd come by and say hi to everybody." Jason managed a weak smile. If Mark was right and she could smell fear and lies she'd be all over him in a minute or so.  
  
"Uh huh. So." Cass looked at him suspiciously and sort of sized him up.  
  
"So, um, hi."  
  
"Right. Well let's see, Roger's gone, but only just. And Mark won't be home for a few more hours, conveniently not till a time closer to when both Jen or Collins would be coming home. So that makes me wonder what you are doing here Jason?"  
  
"Like I said, just to say hi."  
  
"Bullshit. They sent you to check up on me."  
  
"No, really. I just came by to check, I mean see if, well I just didn't have anything else to do." He knew he was screwed. He lied almost as badly as Mark and he knew it.  
  
"In other words, you're supposed to be babysitting me."  
  
"No, not at all. Just sort of making sure you, or well everything is, well, you know."  
  
"Give it up. They sent you over to babysit me!"  
  
"Well, not really. It's just that they didn't want, I mean you'd be here alone and well," Cass gave him another look and he knew it was over. Save yourself Sumner, Roger and Mark were on their own with this one. "Okay, yes. I'm supposed to babysit. Just till Mark gets home. They didn't want to leave you alone. Don't kill me, I'm just the messenger. It was their idea."  
  
"What am I eight? They think I can't take care of myself? I've been taking care of myself since I was about eight! Even then I didn't need a babysitter!" She was definitely annoyed.  
  
"No, it's not that at all Cass."  
  
"I can take care of myself fine thank you! Okay, maybe not as well as I obviously thought, but fine, none the less. No matter how it looks to anyone! I can't believe them. They don't trust me to sit in this dump by myself? Is that it? They don't trust me? They think I can't handle a few hours alone or something? I'm fine! I can take care of myself just fine thank you!"  
  
Cass never realized she had started yelling at Jason. She was trying to unplug the laptop and move it and the cord, all around the paper piles, while sitting up. The splints on her cast caught the phone cord and when she moved her hand back a pile of papers fell off the couch. As she moved to get those, another pile stuck to her leg and then fell off as well.  
  
Jason got up to help her. He handed her the first few papers that had slid the farthest across the floor. She ripped them out of his hand. As she went to take the next pages, he caught her left hand and held it. "Cass, it's not that. It's not that at all. They're just worried about you. That's all. They're just real worried about you. I mean you've had a really rough week. They're just worried." He told her softly.  
  
She didn't say anything to him after that. She just sat on the couch for the next few minutes. Not looking at Jason. Just straitening and restraining and organizing and reorganizing the wine stained papers.  
  
"They need to just relax, you know? I'm fine. Everybody needs to just stop getting all excited about things, I'm fine." She finally told him, but she was still playing with the papers.  
  
"All I'm saying is that you've had a really rough week. No one thinks you can't take care of yourself. I mean you managed in one day to make it half way around the world, half-blind. Not to mention across New York, with a backpack, a computer, a broken arm and busted ribs. Anybody else would have given up on all that before they ever made it into the Italian airport! Plus, after all that, in front of three complete strangers, you managed to completely put Roger Davis in his place! Believe me what you did to Roger alone that day proves you can take care of yourself. They are just worried about you."  
  
"Well I wish they would stop worrying about me. I'm fine."  
  
"Will you just let them worry if they want." He pleaded with her. "Just let them take care of you a little. For awhile at least."  
  
"Why?" She was getting defensive again. "I told you, I'm fine."  
  
"Damn it, then just let them do it for us. For me and Collins. If not then do it for Mark already."  
  
"Mark is already worrying over the rest of the world, he doesn't need to bother with me!"  
  
"We aren't really talking about Mark!" Jason got louder then he meant to and brought his voice back down. "You want me to say it, then fine, I will. Do it for Roger. Okay! Because since you got here he's gotten his ass off the couch. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Since you got here it is really been the first time since Mimi died that he's, well, done anything!"  
  
Jason was getting frustrated, and he felt like he was walking on areas he wasn't really supposed to be walking on. "Look Cass," he said softening his voice. "All I'm saying is that when Roger lost Mimi, he sort of lost the will to live for anything. He sat on this couch day after day just waiting to die. And the person that was hurting the most wasn't even Roger, it was Mark. And watching that was eating away at everyone else.  
  
"Since you've been here, it's like he's sort of got a purpose in life again. Like a reason to live. This last week he's had something to do, something where somebody needed him. I guess that kind of made him feel a little worthwhile. I don't think he's had a lot of that in his life. Except with Mimi. And of course Mark.  
  
"And if you ask either one of them, they'll deny it, but I really think that there is only one thing that scares Roger more than dying of AIDS, and that's dying and letting down Mark. And up until a week ago, he was sort of just sitting and wallowing in that fear. Living in it and waiting for it to happen, because letting down Mark like that was inevitable to him. And I think he hated himself for that. Since you've been around, he's been different. Better. See?"  
  
She silently nodded at him.  
  
"And I hate to tell you this, but you're not fine. There is no humanly way possible that you could be fine after everything you've been through in the last week. And there's nothing wrong with that. Hell, if you actually were fine, I'd think that was odd. All they want is to make sure you're okay. Will you just let them do it. Please?"  
  
She kept fixing all the papers. "They are so strange you know?" She finally said to him softly. "I mean, to just look at them, you almost have to wonder how they are even friends." Jason nodded as she kept talking. "They just seem so different, but they aren't. They are really so much alike it's not even funny."  
  
"Yeah, I kinda know what you mean."  
  
Cass kept straightening the paper piles. After a minute or two and without even looking at him she spoke again. "I know you're right. I guess I keep trying to convince myself you know, more so than anyone else. Not that anyone else seems to believe me."  
  
Jason just listened to her.  
  
"It's like the more I keep telling myself and everyone that it's all okay, no problems, that I'm fine, the more I think I'll actually believe it next time." She looked up at him. "That's never going to work thought will it? It's never gonna be fine again. At least not in relation to the past week."  
  
Jason shook his head. "No it's not Cass. It'll get better, but it will never just go away."  
  
"Roger's making me go see some girl he knows. Well, I guess not making me. He asked me to go. I said I would if he went with me."  
  
"Elizabeth. She's real nice. You'll like her."  
  
"That's what he said."  
  
"I'm glad you're going to see her." Jason said. "Going there like that might work. Especially with you." He nodded as he finished those last two sentences, more to himself than to Cass.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh, sorry, I was just sort of thinking out loud. It's just that Life Support isn't exactly Roger's favorite place in the world. And the more people tried to get him there, the harder he fought. Especially after Mimi. He would go with her, for her, but after, when he could have used it the most, no way. Taking you there to see Elizabeth may be what he needs to get him in the door. Maybe we can keep him there awhile then."  
  
  
  
*******  
  
  
  
"Iguana." The voice said into the phone.  
  
"Is Roger there? I need to talk to him."  
  
"Yeah, he's here, but they're rehearsing. Hang on they're finishing the song right now." He set the phone down on the counter. "Yo, Davis, you got a phone call."  
  
"Who is it?" Roger called back.  
  
"Do I look like your social secretary?"  
  
"Is it a girl or a guy?" Roger asked as he walked to the bar.  
  
"Guy. You gonna be a few minutes? I need Izzy for something."  
  
"Yeah whatever, take him." Roger said as he picked up the phone. "What's wrong Mark? She okay?"  
  
"How did you know it was me? Nevermind. I was calling to ask you that. Actually I've been calling for hours and the phones been busy. What's gong on? Is everything okay? Is Jason there?"  
  
"She's fine. She's been on her computer like all day. And Jason should be there by now."  
  
"What do you mean should be? You didn't wait for him? Do you think leaving her alone is such a great idea?"  
  
"Well I didn't have much choice, I had to leave before he could get there. And we've going to have to leave her alone someday. Besides if the phone's still busy then she's still on the computer. I mean if anything was wrong Jason would have called here. You did."  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right. She's okay though, after last night? What happened today?"  
  
"Yeah, she was okay. A little hung over I think, but said she was fine. Big surprise there huh? She was looking for the pain killers though."  
  
"What did you tell her?"  
  
"That I thought they were gone and I gave her two Tylenol."  
  
"Good. She say anything about last night?"  
  
"Not much. She opened up that other box though. It had a computer harddrive in it, all wrapped up in a blanket with some hiking boots, a few more clothes and like ten bottles of wine."  
  
"Yeah, she like her wine. What did you guys do today?"  
  
"By the time I got up, not much. She did say something about going shopping which is good I guess. I told her I'd get dressed and take her wherever. She must have realized I wasn't all that excited about that idea ten minutes after I got up because she just laughed and told me I just didn't get it. I don't know. I'll take her wherever she wants to go tomorrow. Other than that, she was just on that computer pretty much all day. But, she did call her dad though.  
  
"She called Carlton? Did she talk to him? What happened? Was she okay?"  
  
"She was pissed more than anything. I mean I was trying not to obviously be listening to the whole thing. As far as I could tell it was just business stuff. That's all I heard, or at least understood. She said a bunch of it in French, but it didn't seem like they were getting into a conversation about everything."  
  
"Well what did she say in French?" Mark was getting excited and it was coming through in his voice.  
  
"How the hell would I know Mark?"  
  
"Well you took like three years of French in high school."  
  
"First off, that was how many years ago? And secondly, high school, hello, drug induced haze for most of it, dah. I'm glad you remember I took French, because I don't." Roger was getting annoyed.  
  
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I forgot. But what did you understand her say to Carlton?"  
  
"She told him she was staying in New York."  
  
"What'd he say?"  
  
"I don't know Mark, I couldn't hear that end of it. She told him she was staying here and she'd keep working, but she'll only do research, she won't do anymore locations. Whatever that means."  
  
"It means traveling to business sites like Italy was." Mark explained to him. "Anything else?"  
  
"Yeah, they got into a fight over her friend Giavanna. You know Cass wants to give her six months severance pay. And I bet that girl makes some damn good money to begin with. But anyway, that's when she started in French, but I could tell they were arguing. It sounded like Giavanna was going to get it."  
  
"That doesn't surprise me at all. She really liked Giavanna. Plus she takes pretty good care of the people that work for her I think. Anything else?"  
  
"Yeah, she did kinda lay down the law in the end about her uncle and that bastard Anton."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"She told him flat out, right in front of me, that he needs to remember that just because she's still working in the company doesn't mean everything is all right between all of them. That right now everything is purely a business relationship. Period.  
  
"Then she told him she doesn't want to have to talk to Andre. Ever. That if he needs something, let him email her. And she told Carlton that he better tell Andre to keep that bastard out of New York. Actually, the whole east coast, or anywhere else she is. Or else. She sort of reminded him that he taught her everything she knows and she doesn't give a damn about their precious little family business anymore."  
  
"And she was okay during all this?" Mark was still worried.  
  
"Like I said, pissed more than anything. But I think she's okay. She made a few more calls, but those were mainly in French so I think they were business calls too."  
  
"Well I guess that's good. I don't know. She say any more about going to see Elizabeth?"  
  
"Not really. I said something about going Friday night. Maybe get some dinner and then go and she seemed okay with that. I'm gonna take her to get new glasses first thought. Those places do it in a day right?"  
  
"Yeah, they should I guess. That's a good idea. Maybe she won't mind going out as much if she can see. You think you're going to have any problems getting her out tomorrow?"  
  
"For her glasses, no. She's ready to be able to see. For dinner and Elizabeth, she may not be as eager, but nothing like the other day. She promised she'd go if I went with her and I promised no fights. The last thing I want is to do anything like that again." Roger touched his black eye as he said that.  
  
"Yeah, me too." Mark could hear Izzy in the background yelling.  
  
"Yo Davis, you planning on playing or talking to your girlfriend all day? After all the crap you gave me when you got here, you better hurry up. You're the one that wants to change all this stuff."  
  
"I'm coming Iz, chill." Roger yelled to him before turning his attention back to the phone. "Mark I gotta go. Call me if you need anything. What time are you gonna be done?"  
  
"Hopefully by around five, but definitely by seven. That's what you told Jason right? What time are you gonna be home tonight?" Mark asked.  
  
"Probably around three. Depends on how trashed this place is. But I'll try and be quiet. See ya." With that Roger hung up the phone.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
Cass and Jason had called a truce shortly after the conversation about Roger. She had told him if he was going to baby sit he might as well either get comfortable or be useful and make more coffee.  
  
"That's it, I've had it with this mess." Cass said as she started moving the paper stacks into one big pile. "It's quitting time. If not here, then somewhere in the world." She dropped the pile onto the floor and started to unplug the laptop from the phone wire.  
  
"I try to leave all the nosey stuff to my sister, but what have you been doing the last three hours?" Jason asked her.  
  
"Trying to organize a huge mess." She pointed at the papers. "Between work stuff and personal stuff, not to mention missing pages and wine stains, it has not been easy. Plus it takes me three times as long to type anything with this stupid cast."  
  
"So what are you going to do now?" Jason asked her.  
  
"Get more coffee and see if Roger left any Oreo's. Want some?" She asked as she got up and walked to the kitchen.  
  
"No thanks, but I meant work wise. What are you going to do?"  
  
"Well, keep working sort of. I mean most of what I do is computer based so I can pretty much do it anywhere. Before when I traveled, it was to save the step of going through everything we dug up through the computer. And get the feel of wherever we were. But I'm not going to do that anymore." She looked at the papers and laptop. "Granted all that means somethings are going to change."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, for one thing, Giavanna, my friend in Italy, is sort of out of a job. She was basically my assistant. But she's getting taken care of and can get something else easy enough. The big changes are the way we are going to have to run my department. Mainly, with me here and everyone else, anywhere but here."  
  
"Can you do that?"  
  
"Well first off, it's my department. Secondly, at this moment I don't thing I'll get much argument from my 'bosses' if you know what I mean. And thirdly, this is the technological age Jason, with a satellite hook up and some extra battery packs, I could do that on a deserted island near Bora Bora." She laughed at him.  
  
"Yeah well, I'm not all that up on technology I guess. I'm still a pencil and paper type of guy." He held up his sketchpad and pencil.  
  
"What exactly have you been doing in that thing all afternoon?"  
  
"Well, I'm supposed to be working on lesson plans for my new art class, but that fizzled while ago. The last hour, I've just been sketching you."  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Uh huh." He held up the pad for her to see. "It's good practice. Sometimes in the spring I go to Central Park and do portraits for extra money. They aren't as detailed at this one, and you have to be quick, but you get the idea."  
  
"Wow, that's pretty good."  
  
"It's a living." He shrugged as the front door opened.  
  
"I'm home." Mark called as he came through the door carrying his camera, a bag and his backpack.  
  
"Hey Marky. You're home early."  
  
"Hey Mark." Jason said from the chair.  
  
"Yeah, I skipped lunch and finished early. I'm starved though. Any chance you thought about dinner?" He asked her.  
  
"Um, sure." She held out the package of Oreo's to him. Mark just gave her a look. "Any other options?"  
  
"Hey it worked for Roger last night." She told him.  
  
"Yeah well, have you seen some of the things Roger calls meals yet?" Jason laughed from the living room.  
  
"Okay, we can order in." Cass said. "How about pizza? Isn't that the tradition meal babysitters order?" She glared at him.  
  
"Um, what do you mean Cass?" Mark looked to Jason.  
  
"Sorry buddy. I jumped ship a few hours ago to save my own ass. You and Roger are on your own on this one." Jason laughed at him from behind his sketchpad.  
  
"Well, um," Mark stuttered.  
  
"Forget it. But don't do it again."  
  
"Sorry. We just didn't want you to have to stay here alone is all."  
  
"It's okay. How was your shoot today?"  
  
"Surprisingly productive. I've got to drop all the film off to be developed tomorrow. How about you guys?"  
  
"Thursday afternoon, Art I, freshman who think it's any easy A and desperate seniors needing one more elective to graduate. Both unproductive and unexciting." Jason told him.  
  
"Well, mine was also unproductive." Cass gestured at the pile of papers, however it did have it's exciting moments." She grinned.  
  
"Yeah I heard you called Carlton." Mark said.  
  
"You heard huh?" She looked at Jason. "Well, yes I did talk to him. And that actually went quite well. Probably because I did most of the talking. I told him I was staying in New York and I was gong to keep working, but I set some ground rules."  
  
"And he's okay with all that?"  
  
"Honestly I don't give a damn if he's okay with that or not, and I told him so."  
  
"Well I guess that qualifies as excitement." Mark said.  
  
"Oh that's not the exciting part." She told them. "The exciting part was when I went shopping." She smiled.  
  
"Yeah Roger said you wanted to go shopping but he said you never went anywhere. That he would take you shopping tomorrow."  
  
Cass laughed as she shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Roger's so cute in a 1980's sort of way!" Mark and Jason just looked at each other. "Sweetie it's the internet age. I went shopping from the couch."  
  
"Oh." Mark told her as he opened a soda from the fridge. "Our couch huh?"  
  
"Yep. Probably the most excitement that couch has ever seen! At least that kind of excitement! I mean how often does anybody spend six thousand dollars in an hour on your couch?" She laughed.  
  
"Six thousand dollars!" Mark choked on his soda.  
  
"In an hour?" Jason asked wide-eyed. "What the hell did you buy?"  
  
"Well, some work stuff. I needed some more computer equipment, plus a desk." Cass wished she hadn't told them how much money she had spent.  
  
"You spent six thousand dollars in an hour? On computer stuff? Wow." Mark had to sit down n the barstool.  
  
"Well no, not all on computer stuff. I got some stuff for the apartment too. Like a new AC, plus a coffeemaker, a microwave and some other stuff." Cass said in an embarrassed voice. "And I got some clothes too." She looked at the ground.  
  
"Wow all that, over the internet, and for only six thousand dollars. I'm definitely in the wrong business." Jason shook his head.  
  
"No." Cass said quietly. "The six thousand didn't include the clothes. That was another twenty five hundred."  
  
"Eighty-five hundred dollars? In one day. Eighty-five hundred dollars." Mark was getting pale and just kept repeating that.  
  
"Mark it's no big deal. It's all a business expense. Don't get mad. I'm sorry."  
  
"I'm not mad Cass. Blown away, but not mad. Are you sure you want to do all this? Take money from them?"  
  
"Yes. It was stuff I needed, for work. And for living you know. Think of it as relocation expenses. Okay? If I worked for anybody else, I would get relocation money. This is business, that's all. I don't want their money. But I'll take what I'm owed. And this is business. As far as I'm concerned, that's all that's left, business. Nothing personal between any of us, just business."  
  
"Okay Cass, if you're sure." Mark told her. He could tell she was upset, but keeping it all under control.  
  
"Can I ask a question?" Jason said. "I mean, I don't mean to be nosey, like I said I usually leave that to Jen, but it's about something your father said the other day."  
  
Cass nodded at him.  
  
"Well that day he was here, he was saying to tell you to use your credit cards for whatever you need. He also said to tell you to use your fun, not give it away again this year. What did he mean? What's a fun?"  
  
Cass laughed a little realizing Carlton did have a slight accent when he spoke. "He didn't say fun, he said fund. My trust fund."  
  
"Oh, of course. I should have known that." Jason said, shaking his head.  
  
"It's from my mom and my grandparents. When I turned twenty-one I got access to it, but I've never needed it. I made more than enough money working. So every year I gave the interest and a good chunk of that year's allotment to charity."  
  
"Look Cass, I know we were joking about you paying for dinner last night and all, but I don't want you to think we, me and Roger, want you to stay here to keep us from starving or anything. I mean we want you to stay, but not because of that. You know?"  
  
"I know Marky. It's okay. Look, I've got it, will you let me use it. Besides I told you I usually give a chunk of it to charity. Jason have you ever seen a place more in need of a little charity than this place?" She smiled at him. "Okay Marky? Just let me do this. Please?"  
  
"Whatever you want Cass. Whatever you want." 


	23. 23

Chapter 23  
  
  
  
Roger opened the door to Mark's room. Mark and Cass were asleep in the air- conditioned room. He was trying to be quite as he climbed onto the twin bed wedged between the wall and the double bed they were sleeping on.  
  
"Hey." Cass whispered to him as she rolled over. "What time is it?"  
  
"It's almost four." He whispered back. "Go back to sleep."  
  
"Did you just get home?" She asked him sleepily.  
  
"A little bit ago. I stunk like beer and smoke. I had to take a shower." He climbed onto the twin bed and laid down. "You okay today? By yourself?"  
  
"What, for the whole twenty minutes I was by myself? You mean before my babysitter got here?"  
  
"Babysitter? Oh, Jason wasn't, I mean we didn't, we just didn't want to leave you all alone. I'm sorry." He whispered to her as he pushed a chunk of hair off her face.  
  
"Just don't do it again. Unless you ask me first. Okay?"  
  
"Sorry. Are you okay?" He asked her after watching her shiver the second time.  
  
"Yes, I'm just cold."  
  
"Yeah, Mark's got that thing turned up real high. What's up with that?" He was trying hard to be quiet.  
  
"Because Mark was hot, that's why. And because it's Mark's room. And because Mark has to get up in a few hours. Now shut up and go to sleep!" Mark told them as he pulled a pillow over his head.  
  
"Don't mind him." Roger whispered. "He's always a grump when you wake him up in the middle of the night."  
  
"Which means he's obviously woken me up in the middle of the night many times before. Now shut up and go to sleep." Mark said from under the pillow. "Please."  
  
"Roger laughed as he watched a sleepy grin come over Cass' face followed by another shiver. "Come'er." He whispered as he put an arm around her and pulled her close to him. "Now go back to sleep."  
  
"Kay." She was almost already there.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
"Beep beep."  
  
"Beep beep." "Beep beep."  
  
"Beep beep."  
  
Roger heard the beeping far, far away, but as he pulled the pillow over his head it kept getting closer and louder. He reached over and pushed the alarm button on his watch. He had been sleeping hard. Probably the best he's slept in a long time. He rolled over and in his still half-asleep state, he realized something was wrong. Maybe not wrong, but missing. Yeah, that was it, missing. Something had been next to him. No, not something, someone had been next to him. Cass.  
  
He opened his eyes. Cass. She had been there last night. That was the difference. Last night she had been right next to him. Right next to him.  
  
He could hear the music coming from the lining room. Roger got up and opened the door. She was standing in the kitchen. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail. She was wearing Mark's boxers rolled down low on her hips and an old tee shirt that she had cut off at mid-drift length. Even from this far away, he could tell she wasn't wearing a bra. She was kinda dancing around in the kitchen, cooking something. And singing to the radio.  
  
God she was gorgeous was all he could think at that moment. Roger just stood in the doorway to the bedroom watching her. She turned around from the stove and was looking at the newspaper on the counter. He watched her lean forward on the counter to read the paper. Okay Davis this is bad. Stop trying to look down her shirt. Think of something else. Anything else. Neither one of you is ready for this. Most likely. No definitely. Not a good plan. But Mark did say, no wait, it doesn't matter what Mark said. You're not ready for this. She's probably not ready for this. You're not ready, she's not, not, not wearing a bra. God she's hot. This is really not good. Whoever could have thought Mark's underwear could look that hot on anyone. She's so hot, she's smoking. Smoking. Oh, smoke.  
  
"Hey." She smiled at him. "Good you're up."  
  
Oh god, you're so right about that. Wait. Stop your brain. Move on Davis. "Hey." He said back from the doorway. "Um, yeah. You're burning something." He gave a small laughed as he pointed to the stove and went to sit at the bar.  
  
"Oh shit!" She flipped around to the stove and saw the pan had smoke coming out from under the lid. She grabbed at the cast iron frying pan to move it off the burner. As soon as she picked it up with her left hand she let it go. "Ow!" She yelled as the pan hit the top of the stove and flipped onto the floor. When it hit the floor the bacon grease splattered up and hit her in the anlke and leg. "Ouch! God damn it!" She hopped up off her foot.  
  
"Are you okay?" Roger jumped up from the barstool and ran around to the other side of the counter and into the kitchen. "Here let me see." He said as he turned off the burner and pulled her towards him, around the eggs, bacon and grease that had puddled on the floor in front of the stove.  
  
Roger turned her hand over to see the burn running across her left palm and all four of her fingers. "Here, put it under the cold water." He grabbed her by the waist and lifted her onto the counter and then turned on the cold water and pulled her hand under it.  
  
"Shit! That really hurt."  
  
"Now let me see your foot." He said as he grabbed some of the dirty coffee cups and glasses out of the sink and put her foot into it under the water. "That might hurt for awhile."  
  
"No shit, you think?" She said looking at him like that was the stupidest thing anyone had ever said.  
  
"I meant it's a grease burn. Maybe we ought to take you back to the doctor's. That looks kinda bad."  
  
"I don't want to go to the doctor's. I'm fine."  
  
"But Cass, your hand looks pretty bad. What if we go to the ER?" He said as he held her hand under the water.  
  
"No! It will be fine! I don't need to go to the doctor's it's fine!" She jerked her hand away from his. "It's fine. See?" She started to make a fist, but stopped about halfway into it and made a gasping noise.  
  
Roger saw the look of pain on her face as she tried to close her hand.  
  
"See. I'm fine." She told him through semi clenched teeth.  
  
"Liar. Okay. No doctor's. Right now. But when we go back week after next to get your cast cut down, she looks at it then. Deal?" She nodded. "Okay, for now we'll get some burn stuff for it." Roger was trying hard not to laugh at her now. Oh well, he thought, at lest he got his mind off where it was before. That thought didn't help though. He started laughing. He couldn't help it.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"Well," he laughed, "where do you want me to start? I mean lets face it, you're sitting here on the counter, in Mark's underwear, surrounded by dirty dishes with your foot in the sink."  
  
"As long as you're amused." She grinned at him. "If you can pull yourself together, can you hand me my coffee? And grab my cigarettes from the couch."  
  
"Sorry." He smirked as he handed her the coffee. "Does it feel any better?" Roger lit two cigarettes and handed one to her.  
  
"Yes. No. I don't know. God look at me. Black eye, broken arm, and now I've messed up my other hand and burnt my foot."  
  
Roger couldn't help smirking at her. "Not to mention, sitting on my counter, in Mark's underwear with your foot in my sink. And eggs all over the floor. But you're still kinda cute."  
  
Cass could feel her cheeks starting to burn. She knew she was starting to blush. "Well, so much for breakfast." She shrugged. "Here," she reached behind her and opened the drawer. "Take your pills. Sorry there is no breakfast to go with those, that was kind of the plan."  
  
"You were making me breakfast?" Roger asked, somewhat surprised.  
  
"Well I certainly wasn't making fried pig flesh for me." She laughed. Actually it was more like attempting to make breakfast. In case you haven't noticed, I really don't know how to cook."  
  
"Not at all?" He grinned at her as he took his pills.  
  
"Like completely not at all. I mean, I know how to microwave things to reheat them." She shrugged again. "I just never needed to really cook anything."  
  
"How did you get this old," he laughed, "and not live with Mark, and still not know how to cook anything?" He turned off the water and lifted her foot out of the sink. "Besides I thought you were some kind of book genius or something. You do know they make this thing called a cook book right?"  
  
"Ha ha, very funny. I just never needed to cook."  
  
"Uh huh." He looked at her hand some more. "If you were Mark, where would you put first aid stuff that you would definitely have somewhere, because of course, you're Mark, so you've definitely got stuff like that. Somewhere."  
  
"Leave him alone. You shouldn't pick on him like that." She grinned. "But the answer is under the kitchen sink or bathroom sink."  
  
"Right." He opened up the cupboard under the sink and pulled out a box with a first aid kit inside. He picked it up and grinned at her. "Okay, so how did you just never need to cook?" He pulled out the tape, gauze and burn cream and started putting it on her ankle.  
  
"Well, there was just always stuff to eat." She shrugged. She didn't want to get into it. Especially after her conversation with Mark yesterday. But Cass had a feeling she wouldn't get away with just that for an answer.  
  
"Let me see your hand. So how do you just always have stuff to eat? If you're not living with Mark that is." He started smearing the burn cream on her palm and fingers.  
  
"Well," she dropped her eyes. "There was just always food okay? There were people at my house that cooked okay? They cooked dinner. Or we ate out. Or ordered in. Or I was on location somewhere and there was somebody there that cooked. Okay? I just never had to do it okay?" Roger could tell she was getting upset as he wrapped up her hand. "And don't give me that poor little rich girl thing again!"  
  
"It's okay Cass. It's no big deal." He hugged her. "I don't care if you can't cook. I can't cook either." He pulled back from her. "That's why we have Mark, remember?" He smiled. "But after you've eaten some of his cooking, you'll realize that doesn't always mean all that much."  
  
He watched her smile at that statement but then he got a more serious look on his own face. "But listen, about the money thing, we keep joking with you about paying or dinner and stuff and we shouldn't do that. And I'm sorry. Just know that if it's up to us, Mark and me, then we probably won't have enough cash around to eat out. Or always three times a day, you know?" He grinned that infamous Roger grin. "I just wanted you to know that we want you to stay if you want. But not because of that. You know? I want you to stay," he said softly, "but not because of that. Okay?"  
  
"Even if I can't cook?" She smiled at him as he helped her off the counter.  
  
"Even if you can't cook." He grinned at her. "Go get dressed. I'll take you to breakfast. I did really well at the bar last night. Plus, we were going to get you glasses today. You still up for that?" Roger paused and lowered his voice as he took her hand. "And for tonight? To see Elizabeth?"  
  
Cass' eyes went to the egg mess on the floor. "I suppose." She said quietly. "As long as you're still going with me."  
  
"Would I ever send you there alone? Now go get dressed and I'll clean up this mess. Mark'll have a fit if he comes home and finds this and not us. And you know he'll blame me." He grinned at her.  
  
"Okay. I can handle that I guess. Sorry about breakfast."  
  
"That's okay. It was still cool you were trying to make it."  
  
"Well, at least nothing caught on fire this time." She shrugged.  
  
Roger's head shot up. "This time? What's that mean Cass? Something did catch fire before? Cass?"  
  
She was walking across the living room, pulling the ponytail band as she walked. She shook out her hair and looked at him over her shoulder and smiled. "I'll tell you all about it sometime. All three times." She grinned and walked into Mark's room.  
  
"Three times? Three? Maybe we better just let you order in. Cass?" Roger laughed. Oh who the hell cares if the whole place burns down.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
  
  
"You guys want another pitcher of beer?" The waitress asked.  
  
"Yeah, we may need it." Maureen told her. "So you don't know where they are?"  
  
"No I don't." Mark told her as he poured himself another beer. They could all hear the familiar Mark worry tone in his voice. "When I ran home the first time, I just ran in, they were gone. I left again to drop my film off to be developed. When I got back home after that I could tell they had been back, but they were gone again." He sighed as he picked up his beer. "And of course in true Roger style, no note or anything."  
  
"Did they know we were meeting for dinner?" Maureen asked.  
  
"Yes. Of course. I think. I don't know." Mark was flustered. "No they knew. He knew. I know he knew." Damn you Roger why do you do this to me.  
  
"Well, when I talked to Cass this morning I said I'd see her tonight. It sure sounded like she knew we were having dinner." Joanne told them, sipping her beer.  
  
"She called you? This morning? At work?" Mark was confused.  
  
"What did she call you about?"  
  
"She just needed to ask a few questions."  
  
"Yeah but, like what? Lawyer stuff? What's up?"  
  
"Jennifer." Jason scolded her. "Stop being so damn nosey. Besides the fact that Joanne would never tell you in the first place if it was lawyer stuff, she wouldn't be able to tell you. Now butt out!"  
  
"He's right. Lawyer client privilege. Sorry Jen." Joanne laughed.  
  
"Oh. So she is a client now though?"  
  
"Jennifer! I'm telling you to drop it. Now. It's none of your business."  
  
"Okay, okay. I was just trying to help. Geeze!"  
  
"Well, you're not." Jason was getting annoyed. God how he hated it when she acted like this.  
  
"Mark do you think they'll pull a no-show for tonight?" Collins asked with a worry in his voice.  
  
"I don't know. Maybe. No, I don't think so. I mean I guess there's a good chance she'll try and get out of it, but I really don't think Roger will let her. I hope. I know he wants her to go see Elizabeth. I know that much."  
  
"True." Joanne added. "But unfortunately Elizabeth isn't exactly located at Roger's favorite place."  
  
"Exactly." Mark sighed. "But I still think he'll go. He said Cass promised him she'd go. He'll show. I know he'll show." I think. I hope. Please Roger, show.  
  
"Well they have to eat right? And it's not like Roger knows any other restaurants or would ever bother to think to cook for that matter." Maureen looked around. "Hey Joellen?" She called to the waitress, who turned and came over to the table. "Have you seen our friend Roger? Has he been in at all today?"  
  
"The blonde hottie? Guitar player?"  
  
Maureen nodded.  
  
"Yeah he was here. End of the lunch rush. He had some chick with him, with a broken arm."  
  
"Did they say anything? Anything about coming back here tonight? Anything about dinner?"  
  
"Sorry Mo. It wasn't my station. They were over in the other corner. I only saw them as they were leaving. Sorry."  
  
"That's okay. Thanks Joellen." Maureen told her. "Well, we know they were here at least. Maybe they went shopping or something."  
  
"Yeah, maybe." Mark said. "I know they were going to get her glasses today. I don't know. Did she say anything to you yesterday?" He asked Jason.  
  
"No I mean she did say she was going tonight." Jason paused and looked around the group. "But I didn't tell you, she did get kinda freaked out when I walked into the loft yesterday. Her not expecting me and not knowing I had a key and all. We maybe shouldn't do anything like that again. But she did say she was going."  
  
"Um, maybe it's love." Jen said with a huge smirk on her face.  
  
"Be helpful or shut up Jen." Jason told her.  
  
"No seriously!" She laughed. "Look!" Jen, who was sitting with her back to the inside wall, could see out both the front and side windows that ran the length of each side of the café. Jason and Collins turned in the direction she pointed, out the window they had their backs to.  
  
Everyone looked up as Roger and Cass, who had walked past the front door by now were about to walk right pass all of them sitting inside the Life Café. They couldn't hear them through the glass, but Roger was talking and Cass was laughing.  
  
Jason knocked hard on the glass and Cass looked up and saw them. "See, told you." Jen said with a smug look on her face.  
  
"Shut up Jennifer." Jason whispered to her as Cass and Roger walked through the door. Roger was carrying a bunch of shopping bags.  
  
"Nice eye Roger. Beat up by a girl again huh?" Maureen laughed at him.  
  
"Yea well." Roger grinned at Cass a he touched his black eye that was starting to fade. "Lucky shot, which I leaned into by the way."  
  
"It was an accident." Cass said softly.  
  
"Well Cass yours looks much better." Joanne told them. "I mean from when I saw you last weekend. Your eye's almost healed up."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"What are you guys doing here?" Roger asked.  
  
"Eating dinner." Mark answered. Even if Roger didn't hear how annoyed he was, everyone else did. "The same thing you were supposed to be doing with us almost an hour ago. Remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah, we forgot." Roger was grinning as he let Cass sit down next to Collins as he dropped the bags on the floor between them. He sat down next to Mark at the end of the table. "Sorry." He shrugged.  
  
"See?" Jen grinned. Jason shot her an evil look. "I mean you can see now huh Cass. Nice glasses."  
  
"Oh thanks. I finally got them today. It's nice to finally be able to see again." She reached up to adjust her glasses with her left hand and Mark saw the bandage wrapped around it.  
  
"He almost knocked over his chair as he jumped up. "Oh my God Cass, what happened to you now?" He asked wide-eyed, reaching for her left hand.  
  
"Oh, um, I burned myself."  
  
"What the hell did you let her do to herself?" Mark yelled at Roger.  
  
"Me?" Roger said, somewhat surprised. "I didn't let her do anything. She was cooking eggs and burnt her hand. It was an accident. How is that my fault?"  
  
"You let her cook? And with a broken arm? Are you nuts? She could have really got hurt. Not to mention burnt the whole place down. Jesus Roger! What's wrong with you?" Mark was over reacting and he knew it, but how could Roger be so stupid.  
  
"Hey!" Cass yelled at him.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry Cass. I should have asked if you were okay."  
  
"Yeah, you should have." Roger told him gruffly.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine. I just can't type with either hand now though." She shrugged as she held up both hands. One casted from elbow down to her three fingers and one wrapped up in gauze around her palm and all four fingers.  
  
"Well is it bad? Did she need to go to the ER?" Mark asked Roger.  
  
"Probably she should have, but she won't. I put a bunch of the burn cream on it and wrapped it up. We got more cream today. She said she'd let the doctor look at it in a week and a half when she cuts the cast off her fingers."  
  
Everyone just sort of watched this conversation, which edged on an argument. Especially Cass, who was getting annoyed at the two of them.  
  
"Well what happened?" Mark demanded from him.  
  
"Don't yell at me! She was cooking and when the pan started smoking, she grabbed it and burnt her hand. Then she let go of it and it hit the stove an flipped on to the floor which splattered bacon grease and burnt her ankle."  
  
"I can't believe you let her cook!" Mark had a note of almost panic in his voice.  
  
"Uh, hello!" Cass was pissed and everyone could hear it. "In case the two of you didn't notice I'm sitting right here. An he didn't let me do anything Mark!"  
  
"Sorry Cass." Roger told her.  
  
"Sorry Cass." Mark said. Neither of them looked at her. "So um, you cooked bacon huh? With bacon grease?"  
  
She just glared at him for a second before Maureen jumped in. "Usually bacon has bacon grease Mark." She joked.  
  
"Um, Cass," Mark said, ignoring Maureen, "the kitchen's okay thought right? No, um, problems?" With huge worried eyes Mark looked from Cass to Roger and back to Cass.  
  
Roger started laughing at Mark. Everyone else was just looking back and forth between the three of them.  
  
"Yes Mark, the kitchen and everything in it is fine." She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm going to order another pitcher. Do you want any food?" She asked Roger. "I'm not hungry."  
  
"No. I'm fine." Roger grinned as Cass went to the bar. Everyone was still looking at him. "What? We just ate." He laughed.  
  
When Cass was out of earshot, Mark turned to Roger. "What are you nuts? How could you let her cook? Especially by herself? And with a broken arm! Remember the cardboard box option!"  
  
Argument over, Roger laughed at him again. "Like I was supposed to know better." Roger tried not to laugh, but the look on Mark's face just made him laugh harder.  
  
All of this just peaked Jen's curiosity even more. "Mark what are you going on about?"  
  
"Let's just say Cass has cooking issues."  
  
"He means I can't cook. Cass said as she set down two empty beer mugs. "She's bringing more beer. As for cooking, I had an incident or two."  
  
"Yeah," Roger laughed as he poured Cass and himself beers, "like setting kitchens on fire."  
  
"There were only actual flames three times." She grinned at him. "And it only required the fire department once."  
  
Everyone started to laugh except Mark, who had gotten that worried look on his face again and was holding his head in his hands. "Yeah, only once."  
  
"Relax Mark." Roger said as he lit two cigarettes and handed one to Cass. "The kitchen's fine and she won't cook anything highly flammable." He grinned at him.  
  
"Relax, right, no problem." He said with his head still in his hands. "I'm gonna have an ulcer by the time I'm thirty living with the two of you. And will you put those out! Neither one of you smokes anymore!" He yanked Roger's cigarette out of his hand and crushed it out. Mark moved for Cass' but the look she gave him stopped him.  
  
"Oh Mark! You've been saying that since I lived there!" Maureen laughed. "So other than giving Mark an ulcer, almost burning down Benny's building," many of them grinned at that statement, "and attempting to blow us all off for dinner, what did you guys do today?"  
  
"Well I got my glasses, so now I can see, so we went to a movie,"  
  
"And we went shopping." Roger said in the most unenthusiastic voice possible.  
  
"Oh shut up." Cass laughed at him. "You had fun and you know it. Besides now Mark can call and check up on both of us whenever he wants." She started digging through the bags and pulled out a tan cell phone and slid it across the table to Mark. "Instead of hiring babysitters." She rolled her eyes toward Jason.  
  
"What's that?" Mark just looked at it as if it might bite him.  
  
"It's a phone Mark. People use them to communicate."  
  
"But what's it for?"  
  
"For you. I had to get a new one. I don't need a satellite phone now that I'm here. And I felt like I was missing something not having my phone with me. So we went phone shopping. I got a deal on three of them. You get 800 minutes a month to start including free long distance, plus vice mail, call waiting and caller ID."  
  
"Cass maybe you shouldn't do this. You know?"  
  
"Already had this conversation with her buddy. You might as well forget it now, you're gonna lose." Roger told him as he held up a blue cell phone.  
  
"Yeah but Cass, this can get expensive and I don't' want you spending money on us like that."  
  
"Mark don't worry about it. You need a phone. So people can get you. It's not like either of you have a desk with voice mail sitting on it in some office somewhere. However I do, and I really should check that one of these days."  
  
"But Cass--"  
  
"Look at it this way, if I need you, I can call you. And don't sit there and even try to tell me you weren't all freaked out cause we didn't show up for dinner and you didn't know where we were."  
  
There were stifled laughs and giggles from all around the table. "But Cass." he started.  
  
"Give it up Mark. She'll make you keep it and threaten to give the phone number to your mother." Roger laughed as he shook his head. "Amazing how well threats like that can work."  
  
"I guess. I still don't know Cass. Are you sure?"  
  
"Relax Marky, it's a business expense. That reminds me," she opened up her wallet and started writing a check. "I'm starting my own side company. Mainly investment oriented with some research on the side. When I feel like it. It will make life easier for somethings business wise." She ripped out the check and handed it to Joanne who folded it up and put it into her purse.  
  
"Pookie was that a ten thousand dollar check?" Maureen almost yelled.  
  
"Will you please keep your voice down Maureen." Joanne answered her.  
  
"It's a retainer." Cass explained. "I fired my lawyer yesterday morning. Actually I fired my financial consultant too. Anyway, Joanne's firm is now representing me."  
  
"I'll drop this off tomorrow." Joanne told Cass.  
  
"Whenever. Once the papers are ready, let me know. I'll come by and sign everything."  
  
"Cool! Pookie's got a new client and I can reach Marky 24-7 now if I want!" Maureen smiled and poured more beer.  
  
"Great. Ulcers, a new need for fire insurance and now both my mother and Maureen can call me anytime, anywhere. Thanks Cass."  
  
"No problem sweetie!"  
  
"Do you guys want anything else?" The waitress asked.  
  
"We're set." Joanne said. "We have to take off soon if we want to make that move. Jen are you still coming with us?"  
  
"I'm in. Marky? It's an independent thing." Jen said, trying to tempt him.  
  
"Um, maybe, we'll see." Mark shot a look at Collins before both of them checked out Roger who was staring at his beer and Cass who was playing with her glass.  
  
"Yeah, I think we're done Joellen." Collins said. "Why don't you bring the check, we've got to go soon too."  
  
"Okay. You two need anything else or are you going too?" She asked Roger and Cass.  
  
"We've got time for one more drink right? I'll have a vodka and cranberry. Want one?" She asked Roger. "Make it two." Cass told her without waiting or him to answer.  
  
"Yeah." Roger said without looking up. "We got time for one more drink." He pulled the shopping bags together and handed them to Mark. "Here, drop those off at the loft on your way to the movies. And the guy already programmed your phone some. I'll call you later."  
  
"Um, okay." Mark stood up, taking the bags and Roger's not so subtle hint. "You guys ready?"  
  
Jen, Maureen and Joanne, also getting the hint, stood up and tossed some money on the table. "Okay," Jen said glancing at Roger and Cass before looking to Jason. "We're out of here. I'll call you tonight bro." She kissed Jason on the cheek and they all said goodbye.  
  
Mark and the girls left and Joellen brought over the two drinks. Roger dropped some money on top of the check and handed it to Joellen. "You guys go ahead over." Roger told Collins and Jason without taking his eyes off his drink. "We'll meet you over there. Soon."  
  
Collins and Jason left and Cass and Roger just sat there a few more minutes. Not talking, just sitting, staring at their drinks. Finally Roger leaned in and pulled her towards him. She never took her eyes off her glass. "Cass." He said softly. "Cass we got to go now. Okay? We've got to go."  
  
She didn't say anything or look up from her glass. Roger stood up, pulled her up and led her out the door. It had cooled down and was actually a beautiful night out. They walked the few blocks in silence. Roger had his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him. As they reached the block Life Support was on, Roger lit two cigarettes and gave one to Cass.  
  
When they reached the front steps of the Life Support building, Roger dropped his cigarette and stepped on it and then did the same to Cass' when she dropped it. He pulled her in close and hugged her out on the sidewalk. Roger could smell her shampoo in her hair. He ran his finger up and down her back slowly. "It's okay Cass. It's gonna be okay. I promise. It's gonna get better, I promise that too. And this is gonna help. Really. Okay? But we gotta go in."  
  
She shook her head. He could feel her whole body tense up as they climbed the steps. Once through the door Roger saw Collins talking to Elizabeth outside her office. As they walked towards them, Jason joined them.  
  
"Hey." Roger said to them.  
  
"Hey Roger. It's good to see you again." Elizabeth said.  
  
"Elizabeth this is Cass." Collins introduced them. "Cass, this is Elizabeth."  
  
"Hi Cass. It's nice to meet you."  
  
"Hi." She said in a very soft voice.  
  
"Well, why don't you come on into my office. We'll talk." She smiled. "Roger you're not going anywhere right? He'll be right out here. Okay?"  
  
Cass nodded and followed her slowly through the door. 


	24. 24

A/N I just want to thank everyone that has reviewed this story for me. Both the new people and the ones that have hung on from the beginning. It really means a lot to me, especially when people tell me they have read the whole thing in about two days! It really helps keep me typing. Thank you all.  
  
Chapter 24  
  
  
  
"Well," Collins began, "considering you're already here and all, why don't we go inside?"  
  
"How did I know that was coming?" Roger grumbled.  
  
"Relax, would you?" Jason said to him. "Do you want some coffee?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Hey Roger!" A voice called from across the room. "How you doing? It's good to see you back here."  
  
"Hey Andrew." Roger said.  
  
"So, you still playing? Got a band now?"  
  
"Yeah, house band at the Iguana. We, well they're okay."  
  
"They suck with the exception of Roger. And sometimes Izzy. Depending on his mood." Jason added.  
  
"Yeah well, they have their moments I guess." Roger said. "You playing anywhere?"  
  
"Me? No. Not really. No real time for real music. I'm working here full time now. Which is pretty cool. Get this though, I'm a back up drummer for a couple of wedding bands."  
  
"Please tell me you're kidding?" Roger almost grinned. "That's like sacrilege to rock and roll. How can you do that?"  
  
Andrew shrugged. "It's that or don't play at all pretty much. I mean stuff like that's booked out far enough that I can schedule around when somebody needs me to fill in. But you're right. It is pretty pathetic at times." He laughed.  
  
"What do you mean? I'm Jason by the way."  
  
"Oh I'm sorry," Collins apologized. "Andrews been around for so long I thought you two had met. Andrew and Roger used to play together."  
  
"Well, sort of," Andrew explained. "More like jammed. We were never actually in a real band together. But as far as the pathetic part, just picture tux pants, gold vest, and anything considered decent music being massacred and slowed down so your grandmother can dance to it."  
  
"Please, don't tell me anymore. I just ate." Roger laughed.  
  
"Yeah well, the only thing that ever gets worse than that," he grinned, "is when the drunk cousin or whoever decides that they have to do a number to let the lucky couple know how much they care. That's usually the most painful part." Andrew shook his head.  
  
"I can't hear anymore. Please." Roger begged.  
  
"Yeah, I gotta go back to work anyway. Look, if you guys need a drummer anytime, give me a call. Or if you just want to jam. It's great to see you again Roger. I'm glad you came back around. Collins." Andrew nodded to him. "Nice to meet you Jason. See you guys inside."  
  
"Yeah, I'll call you." Roger said.  
  
"Good to see you Andrew." Collins said as Andrew left. "Well, lets go sit down." Collins took a step forward and turned to look at Roger. Roger just stood there for a second. Collins could see the concern on his face as he looked towards Elizabeth's office. "Relax. She's gonna be fine. This is the best thing we could possible do for her." Collins said softly. Roger looked towards Elizabeth's office again, before slowly nodding and following Collins into the other room.  
  
  
  
*******  
  
  
  
  
  
In the darkness of the movie theater, Mark fidgeted in his seat between Maureen and Jen. He hit the button on his watch to illuminate the time.  
  
Joanne leaned over to Maureen and whispered to her. "Tell him if he looks at that watch one more time, I'm going to break his little film making fingers!"  
  
Maureen giggled. "Marky, Joanne said--"  
  
"I heard her. Sorry."  
  
"Relax Mark. It will be okay. If he wanted you to go, he would have told you. It's just something he had to do on his own." Jen whispered to him.  
  
"They're fine Marky." Maureen whispered to him.  
  
"I know." Without even thinking about it Mark reached for the button to light up his watch.  
  
Maureen reached over and took Mark's left hand in hers so he couldn't play with his watch. "Really Marky, they're fine." She squeezed his hand. "And the movie's almost over." She smiled at him.  
  
Maureen's right Mark thought. They're fine. Roger would never let anything happen to Cass. And Collins would never let anything happen to Roger. And maybe Jen was right, maybe this was just something Roger had to do on his own.  
  
You can't take care of him forever Mark. Roger doesn't want you to take care of him. Sort of. Roger doesn't want to take care of himself thought either. At least he didn't a week ago. Who knows this week. Things seem to change quickly around here lately.  
  
Maureen gave him another squeeze and a smile. Speaking of things changing. He and Maureen have come a long way over the years. He's gone from worshipping her, to hating her, to hating her while worshipping her to the point they are at now. Where they are now. Where are they now? In a very strange place, sort of. They are friends. Actually really good friends. Maureen is one of his best friends. Just like Cass, Roger and Collins. But sort of different. Sort of. Maybe more.  
  
The movie ended and the four of them left the theatre and headed to a coffee shop. "Mark either drink the coffee or throw it out, but quit playing with it." Jen told him.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."  
  
"So Mark, how did you like the movie?" Maureen asked him.  
  
"It was okay. Pretty good I guess."  
  
The girls talked about the movie while Mark played with his coffee, checked his watch and scrolled through options on his new phone.  
  
Maureen winked at Jen. "So Marky, how did you like the part about the daughter and the cousin? Probably filled with film making symbolism and stuff huh?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess." He kept playing with the phone.  
  
"Mark that didn't even happen! You're not paying attention at all. He'll call you either when he's ready or when he needs you." She told him.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're right, I'm not paying attention." He shook his head as if to clear it. "It's just well, how do I even know if this thing is even working?" He asked holding up the phone. Just as he picked it up, it rang.  
  
  
  
*********  
  
  
  
  
  
"They've been in there for over two hours."  
  
"Roger they've probably got a lot to talk about." Collins told him. "Will you just--"  
  
"Don't tell me to relax Collins!"  
  
"I was going to say go have a cigarette or something."  
  
"Yeah fine. I think I will. Stay here. Just in case." Roger ordered them before walking out the front door to the sidewalk.  
  
"Were you really going to tell him to have a cigarette?" Jason asked him.  
  
"No." Collins sighed. "I was gong to tell him to relax. For all the good it would have done."  
  
"Well think of it this way, we may have Roger, but we left the girls alone with Mark." Jason laughed slightly. "And you can just imagine the state he probably worked himself into at this point, not hearing from us."  
  
"Yes," Collins agreed. "I can imagine."  
  
"Hey guys. How's Roger doing?" Andrew asked as he walked into the entry hall they were sitting in.  
  
"Well," Collins said. "You know Roger."  
  
"Yeah, I do." Andrew said sadly. "So how long has he been seeing this girl?"  
  
"Uh, what girl? What do you mean?" Jason asked, regretting he opened his mouth as the words left it and he heard, again, how badly he lied.  
  
"Relax. I saw you come in with her and talk to Elizabeth. Plus, I work here remember? I know what Elizabeth does here."  
  
"Sorry, I forgot." Jason apologized but decided to stop speaking there before he got himself in trouble.  
  
"Actually, he only met her for the first time last weekend. She's actually a very good friend of his roommate's, Mark Cohen."  
  
"Blonde guy with the camera?" Collins nodded and Andrew continued. "Yeah, I remember him. Nice guy. So is she an old friend, or old girlfriend?"  
  
"Little of both, mainly the first for the last number of years now. But she and Roger seemed to hit it off very well. They seem to have a lot in common."  
  
Andrew was nodding. "Good. I'm glad for him. Hard to believe thought."  
  
"What is?" Jason asked.  
  
"Nothing really I guess. It's just Roger's so, well, Roger." He shrugged. "Most people go through their whole lives hoping to meet someone they, as you said, have that much in common with. And for somebody as complicated as Roger, well you would imagine that could be sort of hard. But Roger manages it not once, but twice."  
  
"Yes, I know what you mean." Collins said looking at Jason. "I know exactly what you mean."  
  
With that Roger walked back into the room. "Are they done yet?"  
  
Collins was about to answer him when the door to Elizabeth's office opened and she and Cass walked out.  
  
"Okay Cass, I'll talk to you Monday then. Hey guys. Hey Andrew, when you get a minute I need you to look at a grant proposal for me."  
  
"Yeah no problem Elizabeth."  
  
"Okay." She looked at her watch. "Oh, I have got to call my husband. Have a good week guys. It's good seeing you again Roger. You should come by more often." She smiled at him. "Maybe I'll see you Monday? I have to go though. Bye Cass."  
  
"Bye. Thanks." She said softly as Roger stepped up next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"Hello?" Mark yelled into the phone.  
  
"It's me. We're leaving now." Roger said as he lit two cigarettes and handed one to Cass.  
  
"What happened? Is she okay? What did she say? Are you going home? Is she saying anything? What's she doing? Are you okay? Did you stay the whole time?" He would have climbed through the phone if he could.  
  
"Mark chill." Roger could hear the girls telling Mark to slow down and how could he ever answer all that.  
  
"Sorry. So?"  
  
"Yes." Roger answered.  
  
"Yes what? She's okay? What? You're going home? What?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Oh is this one of those you don't want to talk right now conversations?"  
  
"Yes it is." Roger told him as he dragged on the cigarette.  
  
"Oh. Right got it." Mark was actually relieved by that answer.  
  
"So she's okay though right?"  
  
"Yeah. We're going home now."  
  
"Okay. What do you want me to do? Go home or wait awhile?"  
  
"No, it's okay. Finish up what you're doing. Jason and Collins are going home anyway." Roger told him.  
  
"Got it. I'll wait. I'll walk Jen home and hand out there for awhile."  
  
"Yeah. Sounds good. Bye." Roger hung up the blue cell phone and put it in his pocket. He still had his arm around Cass' waist.  
  
"Okay. Well, we'll talk to you guys tomorrow." Collins, who had been listening to the conversation and knew they were not supposed to continue to the loft, told them.  
  
"Yeah. See ya." Roger told him as they started to walk down the street the couple of blocks to the loft. After walking almost a block in silence Roger finally spoke. "Are you okay Cass?" He asked her quietly.  
  
"Yes." She answered, louder than a whisper, but not much.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
It took her a minute to answer him. "Not right now. Maybe later."  
  
"What do you want to do?"  
  
"Just go home. Can we just walk home? It's so nice out. Finally not hot out. Can we just walk home?"  
  
"Whatever you want Cass. Whatever you want." He told her as he held her close to him as they walked the rest of the way home in silence.  
  
  
  
*******  
  
  
  
Roger opened the door to the loft and let Cass in as he flipped on the light. "Well at least it's not as hot in here for a change. Do you want to go to bed or stay up and talk?"  
  
"I don't know. I'm gonna change clothes. Why don't we just lie down."  
  
"Okay. I'm gonna turn the AC on though. It gets warm in there with all three of us sleeping in there."  
  
"Just not as cold as last night."  
  
"Whatever you want Cass."  
  
After Roger turned on the AC then he went to his room and stripped down to his boxers and a tee shirt. When he walked back out Cass was standing in the living room holding her cigarette and the ashtray. "You okay? He asked her.  
  
"Um, yes. I'm not really all that tired I guess. I mean I wouldn't mind sitting in bed and talking and having a few cigarettes," she paused and looked at Mark's door, "but smoking in Mark's room is probably not the best idea."  
  
"Yeah, he'll kill us if we smoke in there. It's not that hot in my room with the windows open. We can sleep in there tonight if you want."  
  
"Okay." She said softly.  
  
Roger went into Mark's room and got some of the pillows off the bed. When he walked into his room Cass was sitting on his bed leaning against the wall with her knees up under her chin. Roger stopped when he saw her sitting there. For a moment he felt so guilty. Like he was cheating on Mimi.  
  
They called the other room Mimi's room. But Mime never slept in there. She slept in here. She kept her stuff in there. That room had a closet. This one didn't. That room was bigger but hotter. This room was smaller, but got more air. This one had two windows on the front and one on the side. That room only had two windows, which got little air because of the building next door. That room has Mimi's stuff. But this room, this room had Mimi.  
  
But not any more. Not in what seemed like a long time. A very long time. And now Cass was sitting there, in his room, in his bed. Where Mimi used to sit, and wait for him to come to bed.  
  
Roger hadn't slept as well as he did when Mimi was there. Ever. Even when he was with April he hadn't slept as well as he did with Mimi. Except for last night he thought. Roger used to sleep here every night with his arms wrapped around Mimi. If he closed his eyes he could still smell her, fell her against him. Feel her skin against his. God he missed her. He hadn't felt that in so long. Except for last night. Last night with Cass.  
  
He felt the guilt turning and churning around in his stomach. God Mimi I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please forgive me Mimi, I'm so sorry for, for, for what? Moving on? Living his life again? Doing exactly what she would want him to do? And with her? When she needed him so much? Or was it him that needed her so much?  
  
Cass looked up at him in the doorway. Standing there staring at her. Staring at her, the bed, the room. It was like the thoughts in his head were being projected onto his face. She knew what was going on in his mind. "Roger," she said gently, "we don't have to sleep in here. I don't need a cigarette. We can sleep in Mark's room. I, I can sleep in Mark's room. It's okay. Really."  
  
Roger shook his head. "No. No, it's okay." It came out as a hoarse whisper. "I don't mind. I want to. I think I kinda need to. Please Cass. If I don't now, I don't think I'll ever be able to. Do you understand?"  
  
Cass nodded as she lit two cigarettes and held one out for him. Roger turned off the light and sat down on the bed next to Cass. He took the cigarette from her and leaned against the wall in the dark. The moonlight coming in the window and the cigarettes glowing as they sat there. After a minute Roger slid down on his back and looked at the ceiling. He lay there on his back, finishing his cigarette. "I'm glad you're here Cass." He took a last drag and put out the cigarette. Cass had slid down into the bed some and had her head against the wall. Roger rolled onto his side and put his arm across her. "Really glad. I wish it was for a different reason, but I'm real glad you're here."  
  
Cass put out her cigarette and moved the ashtray to the floor. She laid the rest of the way down in the bed next to him. "I wish I came here for different reasons too Roger, but no matter why I came here, I'm glad I did." She let him tighten his arms around her as they fell asleep like that. 


	25. 25

A/N Thanks to everyone that's been reviewing. As I've said before, it means a lot to me and your support keeps me going. The baby is starting to entertain himself more now, so I'm getting longer segments of time to actually "do" things. Unfortunately, I have more than just typing to do right now, but by the time the holidays are over, I should be able to spend more time typing and be able to update faster.  
  
Note to Kim - Roger was at the phone store with Cass when she bought the phones. That is why he knows what he is doing with the phone. Plus, I try to make him out to be a 'somewhat smart Roger', as opposed to the over used 'cute but dumb Roger'. Thanks for wondering though.  
  
  
  
Chapter 25  
  
  
  
Roger rolled over and started to wake up. He hated dreaming. Weird dreams. Strange dreams. Stuff about things he wanted to forget, but couldn't. And dreams he wanted to remember, but were gone by morning. Like this morning. Like so many mornings. When he woke up, alone, in his room, in his bed. Alone. Again. Still.  
  
In his groggy state this morning was no different from so many others. But what he had been dreaming was different. He wasn't alone. And it had been so nice, so warm, so real. He could still feel her. Still smell her in his mind. But it was different. A different Mimi smell. A different Mimi feel. A different Mimi dream. A different Mimi.  
  
His brain slowly started to come into focus. That was it, a different Mimi in the dream. The dream that seemed so real. The dream that wasn't Mimi. The dream that wasn't really a dream. Was it? It wasn't Mimi. Mimi was gone.  
  
Yet Roger could still smell the sweet girlie shampoo smell on the pillow. He could still feel her touch. It was so real. It was real. Really real. But not Mimi.  
  
He opened his eyes all the way. No it hadn't been Mimi, but it also hadn't been a dream this time. It had been real. It had been Cass. It had been Cass next to him last night. Roger knew that now.  
  
If she was still here now, he may not have believed it. He may have thought it was still a dream. A dream he'd never want to wake from. Just stay here in his bed holding her forever. But she wasn't here now. But he knew she had been. He knew it was real. He knew he'd do anything to have that again. To feel like he did last night, again.  
  
He walked out of his bedroom into the living room just as his and Mark's watches beeped. Mark was sitting on the couch, still in last night's clothes. Jen was sitting behind him on the back of the couch rubbing his neck. Cass was sitting in the chair next to them reading the paper and drinking coffee. "Hey. You want some coffee?" She asked sweetly.  
  
"I got it. Thanks." He said to her. "Hey Jen. Jeez Mark, you look like crap." Roger told him as he poured himself a cup of coffee and took his pills.  
  
"So sweet of you to notice. Ow, Jen not so hard!"  
  
"Sorry." Jen shifted her weight and kept rubbing Mark's neck.  
  
"What the hell happened to you?" Roger asked as he sat down on the floor and started eating the piece of toast on the plate on the milk crate.  
  
"Hey that was my breakfast! Ouch! Jen's couch that's what happened to me. I fell asleep on it and for being relatively new and in really good condition compared to this one, ours is much more comfortable to sleep on."  
  
"That's scary considering what this thing is like to sleep on." Roger told them as he finished Mark's toast.  
  
"How did you end up sleeping on Jen's couch Mark?" Cass asked him.  
  
"We started watching some old movie and I feel asleep."  
  
"So did I," Jen said, "But I got up and went to bed later. I was gonna wake you up, but you looked comfy."  
  
"Next time wake me up. Please. Move to your right a little." He told her as he shifted his shoulder a little.  
  
"That reminds me," Cass said. "Mark you need to unhook your illegal cable from here and Jen's place."  
  
"Why? What's wrong with illegal cable?" Roger teased her.  
  
"Other than it's illegal?" Jen stated with a slight smirk.  
  
"Well, yes actually. And if Mark ever does get arrested for something, don't you think the 350 pound mass murder he's sharing a cell with would have more respect for him if he said he was in for something more impressive than just stealing cable?" She grinned.  
  
"Thanks for the concern Cass."  
  
"No seriously. I called the cable company. They are coming Wednesday to hook up the apartment and my computer. I need a cable modem so I can get some actual work done and not have to plug into the phone all the time. I just think it might be better if we are not illegally hooked up when they get here."  
  
"Yeah, I see what you mean." Mark said as he got up to make himself more toast. "So you order cable huh? What, um, exactly did you order Cass?"  
  
"He means did you order the porn channel?" Roger snickered.  
  
"Well, um, no." He tried to act annoyed but he could feel his face getting red.  
  
"No Mark I didn't get you a porn channel."  
  
"Okay, I was just wondering."  
  
"I did get the Independent Film channel for you though."  
  
"Really?" He perked up. "Cool. Even better."  
  
"How is that better than a porn channel?" Roger joked.  
  
They all rolled their eyes at him. "You're such a pig Roger." Jen told him. "What are you guys doing today?"  
  
"We need to do laundry. Other than that, this could be it." Roger said as he got up off the floor and flopped into Mark's seat on the couch.  
  
"I just did laundry how do we need to go already?"  
  
"There's three of us wearing our clothes instead of two. Remember? Plus it's still really hot out."  
  
"Oh yeah. Well we don't have any quarters. Can we make it till Monday? I hate doing laundry on the weekends. It's so busy."  
  
"I can do the laundry. I don't mind." Cass said "I may not be able to cook, but I can do laundry."  
  
"Are you sure Cass?" Mark teased.  
  
"Yes smartass, I know how to do laundry. Just separate it out. Whites, darks and dry cleaning. How hard is that?"  
  
"What these two have to dry clean would be interesting to see." Jen laughed.  
  
"Where is your washer and dryer anyway?" Cass turned and looked around towards the kitchen. "And what do you need quarters for?"  
  
Roger, Mark and Jen started laughing. "Um, Cass," Roger started to explain, "we don't have a washer and dryer. You have to go to the laundromat. And the quarters are to pay for the laundry."  
  
"Ha, like he would know!" Mark scoffed at him. "Roger hasn't set foot in a laundromat in years. I think Roger thinks the laundry fairy waves a wand at night and produces clean clothes for him or something."  
  
"Well, um, I can do that. I guess. As long as somebody goes with me." Cass paused. "I, uh, don't know were it is."  
  
Roger could hear the hesitation in her voice. He knew she didn't want to leave really. Especially on her own. He could tell. He hoped she knew they'd never make her go out on her own if she didn't want.  
  
"I'll go with you." Roger said as he stuck out his tongue at Mark and mouthed the word 'jackass' at him. "But if we can wait till Monday it will be easier."  
  
"Okay. Whatever." Cass shrugged. "But what's the big deal? I mean don't we just drop it off? How long does it take to get back anyway?"  
  
This produced another round of laughter from Roger, Mark and Jen. Especially Mark and Jen. "Oh girlfriend!" Jen giggled. "Have you got a lot to learn."  
  
"I see." Cass said as she started to pick at the tape on her left hand.  
  
"How's your hand?" Mark asked.  
  
"Let me see it." Roger reached for her hand and started to unwrap the gauze.  
  
"It kinda hurts. And I haven't figured out what I'm going to do about my hair again. Even if I leave the gauze on, I think it's still going to hurt when I wash my hair."  
  
"I'll wash if for you again. Come downstairs later."  
  
"Thanks Jen. I'll see you later then. I'm gonna go take a shower." She got up form the chair and picked up her coffee cup to take to the sink.  
  
"No problem. Well, I'm going home." She got up to go and walked over to the bar to get her keys. "Hey you guys got two messages on the machine."  
  
"Must be from last night." Roger said as he got up and walked over to it. "I never checked it. Bet it's you mom Mark. She'd try to call you on a Friday night." Roger hit the button on the answering machine. It rewound the tape and made a beep as a woman's voice began yelling and screaming into the answering machine in French.  
  
Roger had no idea what the woman was saying, but he could tell she was pissed. Really, really pissed. He heard her say Cass' name a couple of times followed by stuff he figured were either curse words or very, very not so nice stuff. His eyes went to Cass who had been standing in front of the sink and had flipped around towards the machine when the voice started yelling out of it.  
  
Cass had gone pale. She just stood there listening to the machine. Her mouth hanging open in shock. The coffee cup still held between the only two fingers on her right hand not enclosed in the gray cast.  
  
Everyone was watching her to see what she would do as the screaming message ended. In a hoarse whisper she looked at them. "That was Gigi. Andre's wife." She paused for a second. "Gigi's his mother. She's not very happy with me."  
  
Just then the machine beeped again as it started to play the second message. "Cassiopeia, you little bitch you! Look at all the trouble you've caused!" Then the heavily accented voice continued in French. Mark realized the guy wasn't really yelling into the machine, but speaking loudly, as if he wanted everyone to be sure to hear the message when it was played. Mark didn't know what he was saying. The words were spoken slowly and distinctly. He got the feeling whatever he was saying, it was precise, planned and extremely cruel.  
  
Mark looked at Cass, who had gone even paler. Even from as far away as the couch where he stood, Mark could see her start to shake in the kitchen. She had backed up against the sink as the voice started speaking. The coffee cup she has been holding went crashing to the ground after the first few words.  
  
Roger was around to the other side of the counter next to Cass in the split second it had taken for the look of terror to cross her face. Roger grabbed her and hugged her close. "Turn it off!"  
  
Jen slammed her hand down on the machine hitting buttons till the voice stopped. The sudden silence was only broken by Roger's whispering into Cass' ear, trying to calm her down and stop her from shaking.  
  
Mark and Jen just stood there, unsure what to do next. Roger started to walk her out of the kitchen, still whispering in her ear. "It's okay Cass. He can't hurt you again. I'll never let him hurt you again. I promise." Cass kept moving her lips like she was going to say something, but nothing came out.  
  
Roger walked her into his room and sat her on the edge of the bed. Jen and Mark followed them into the room. Roger sat down next to her and with his arm still around her, pulled her face into his chest as he softly stroked her hair.  
  
Jen kneeled on the floor at Cass' feet. She could hear the sobs starting to come and see she was still shaking. "Cass." Jen said softly, lightly touching her knee. "Do you want anything? Can I do anything?" Cass didn't answer or ever acknowledge Jen's question. "How about something to drink? You want some tea maybe?"  
  
"I'll go make her some." Mark said backing out of the room. God how he didn't want to be in that room right now. He couldn't take seeing her like this again. Mark hated that bastard who did this to her. Not only did it, but apparently called to sort of rub her face in it. Damn it!  
  
Mark slammed the spoon down onto the counter after her wrung out the teabag. How could he fucking do that? All that? To her? To Cass? To sweet, wonderful, kind, beautifully, Cass? His Cass? And how could that bitch call here and say all that to her? At her? How could she say that? How could she say, say, what did she say?  
  
Mark was slamming the spoon against the sides of the coffee cup. He didn't hear it hitting. He didn't even realize he was doing it until the hand came down on his and stopped the spoon.  
  
"Mark." Jen said softly. "Mark stop." Jen took the spoon out of his hand. "Here, give me the tea Mark." Jen took it from his hands. She picked up Cass' cigarettes from the arm of the chair and went back into Roger's room.  
  
After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a minute, Jen stepped back out of Roger's room and close the door behind her. Mark was still ghostly pale, and standing in the exact same spot. He hadn't as much as twitched a muscle since Jen took the cup from him. "Mark are you okay?"  
  
He shook his head. "I can't go back in there. Not right now. I can't do it Jen."  
  
Jen hugged him and could feel him shaking. "It's okay Mark. They understand. Besides, I don't want to be in there either. I don't want to hear what she's going to say right now."  
  
"What's she saying?" Mark asked, still hugging Jen.  
  
"You don't want to know Mark. You don't want to know."  
  
  
  
*******  
  
  
  
Roger and Cass were lying on the bed. She was still holding onto him tightly and he never let go of her the whole time they laid there and talked. He just held her and stroked her hair.  
  
"All I did was open the door Roger, that's all I did." She sobbed.  
  
"I know Cass. I know."  
  
"I was going to go to Giavanna's. We were going to hang out. We just got some new wine to try. We were going to sit around, do nothing and get drunk on good wine."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"We had been working so hard the last couple of weeks. Really late. We just wanted to hang out. We met our deadline. We were going to send it all in the next day. That's all we wanted to do was just hang out." She took another sob-racked breath.  
  
"I was supposed to already be there. I was late. I was always late to Gia's. I'd get caught up checking on stuff and would lose track of time. If I would have left that stuff alone, I would have already been gone. I should have just left it alone, but I started going through it again." She started crying again.  
  
"I never should have started looking at that stuff. If I would have left it alone I wouldn't even have been there."  
  
"Shhh Cass. It's not your fault. It wouldn't have mattered." He kept running his fingers up and down her back. "It wouldn't have made a difference Cass. It's not your fault. It's not your fault Cass."  
  
After a moment she started talking again. "He showed up about four days before. I was actually happy to see him at first. We were so busy. We had a deadline to meet. I gave him a stack of papers and a computer. I thought he had come to help. I needed him to go through all that stuff thin it out. I was actually glad to see him." The last sentence broken up by sobs as she spoke.  
  
"Shhhh Cass. I know. I know. It's okay. Its gonna be okay."  
  
"After like two days I knew he was pretty much useless. He was too fried. Too wired. Just too freaked out. Between the coke and the ecstasy and god knows what else, he was completely wired." She stopped for a moment to try and collect herself.  
  
Roger kept running his fingers up and down her back, just stopping every now and then to stroke her hair. He kept listening to her. Listening to what she said. And what she didn't say. Out loud at least.  
  
He hated that bastard. On principle alone he would love to rip him apart. But the fact that he did this to Cass made it worse. Roger realized he hated him. He hated him more this moment than anything or anyone ever. More than he hated Benny. More than he hated what Benny did to Mimi and what Benny put her through. More than he hated what Benny did to Mimi and what that made Roger put Mimi through. More than he hated his father. More than he hated his father's words and actions and fists. More than he hated whoever first got April hooked on smack. More than he hated what that act did to so many people's lives. To April, and his and Mimi's and Mark's.  
  
Even more than the greatest hatred he had ever felt for himself over all the so many years. Back to the days when he couldn't protect his mother form his father. The days he hurt her with all the drugs and lies. The hell he put Mimi through. The hell he's put Mark through for so long. Not to mention everyone else. And the self-loathing and self-pity that only added to the self-hatred.  
  
He hated him with every ounce of his being. He hated him with as much intensity and fire as he had ever felt in his life. He never thought he'd find another emotion that equaled, let alone surpassed the passion and fervor and love he had had for Mimi. But he did. And it was a true hatred for Anton. One that grew with each passing day he spent with Cass. With each word she spoke and each tear she cried.  
  
Yes, Roger had a true hatred for Anton, one that was, he slowly realized driven by how much he actually cared for Cass. By how much Roger cared for Cass. By how much he wanted to take care of her. By how much he wanted to protect her. By how much he wanted to make it all better for her. By how much, he realized, he had started to love her.  
  
"He was useless." She started again. "I tried to get him to go home at first. To get him out of the way. I just didn't have time to deal with his crap. I had too much to do. If he wasn't going to help me, and he wasn't going to leave, then he just needed to not make things more difficult. Not mess up anything we had managed to finish up. That was all I cared about."  
  
She shook her head back and forth. As she moved Roger could feel the dampness on his tee shirt from her tears. "He was so wired. He was creeping everyone out. Gia, the girls working for us, me. I didn't do anything about it either. I just kept working. I ignored him the best I could. We had to get everything done for our deadline. I didn't make him go home. I should have made him go home."  
  
"Cass it's not your fault. You didn't do anything. Will you please, please believe me? You didn't do anything."  
  
"Instead of going to Gia's like I should have, I started double checking everything. I didn't even know how late it was. Not until I heard the door. That's when I looked at the clock, when I heard the door. I figured it was Gia, coming to yell at me for not showing up. Not bring over the wine.  
  
"She did that sometimes. When I would get caught up in work, she'd call me or come over and drag me off the computer or out of the papers. Sometimes she would do that. It wasn't her though." Roger felt her shift and he loosened his grip on her. She rolled onto her back. Roger kept his left arm around her waist as he propped himself up on his elbow.  
  
"He was standing there when I opened the door. He was messed up. He was hurting real bad. He was real jumpy and agitated. And sweating real bad.  
  
"He kind of pushed past me as he walked into my place. I had this cute little two-room place with this great balcony. It was over this little jewelry shop. This really nice old couple owned the whole place. She used to bring my pasta and muffins. It was late, so they had gone home for the day."  
  
She stopped and took another deep breath, trying to force down the last of the heaving sobs. "He just sort of walked in when I opened the door. He wanted to know if I had anything. He was pretty desperate. I told him I didn't. I told him I was clean for a real long time and that he knew that. He knew I never had anything anymore. And anything I ever had before came from either him or Paulie. He didn't believe me. He just didn't believe me."  
  
"It's okay Cass. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to you know."  
  
"I kept telling him I was clean and I didn't have anything. I told him I would take care of him. Hook him up if he wanted. That I'd go get him something right then. He didn't believe that either. He told me I was being a selfish, little bitch. That I just didn't want to share. After everything he's done for me all these years."  
  
She had stopped crying at this point. Roger figured she probably was out of tears. He couldn't really hear any emotion in her voice anymore. More like an even numbness.  
  
"That's when he lost it. I tried to get him to leave but he wouldn't go. That's when I pushed him. I pushed him towards the door. He didn't like that. That's when he backhanded me. That I think he did like, because he smiled and did it again."  
  
Her hand reached up and rubbed along the base of her neck. Roger realized he had seen her do that before. Actually he had seen her do it a number of times since she got here. He wasn't even sure she ever realized she did it.  
  
"I punched him in the stomach then. Hard. Real hard. But he was so messed up. I don't think he even really felt it. But it pissed him off. He grabbed me by my shirt and sort of picked me up. Then he threw me into the wall. I think that's when my necklace broke, when he grabbed me by my shirt."  
  
She rubbed the base of her neck again as she spoke. "It was my mom's cross you know. She almost always wore it. I don't know why she didn't take it with her that trip, but she didn't. It was there at home in her jewelry box. I found it. Afterwards."  
  
She shook her head again. "Anyway, it's gone now I guess. After that it gets a little fuzzy. I remember getting up and trying to push him away. And his hand on my face shoving my head into the wall. Or maybe it was the mirror. I don't know. It's just kind of pieces and parts after that."  
  
"I know Cass. I know."  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
"God Jen, can this whole thing possibly get any worse?" Mark asked her as he continued hugging her.  
  
"I hope not Mark. For her sake, and yours, I hope not."  
  
"Thanks Jenny." Mark gave her a final squeeze and let go of her. "I wish I knew what happened last night with Elizabeth. And actually with Roger. Did you notice they slept in his room?"  
  
"Actually, I noticed how surprised you were to see her coming out of his room more than anything. You okay with that?"  
  
"Me?" Mark leaned back against the sink. "Yeah actually I am. I was just surprised. I mean I'm sure they didn't do anything. I mean, you know Roger. And well, while that," he pointed at the room next to his, "was Mimi's room, the only thing that ever sleep in there was her stuff."  
  
"Yeah I get it. Well, good for Roger. Mimi would have been really upset to see him al these months. He really is doing better all of a sudden."  
  
"Real all of a sudden. Like since the day someone showed up here." Mark had the tiniest of grins as he shook his head. "I really wish I knew what Elizabeth told her last night."  
  
"Probably nothing." Jen saw the look of confusion on his face and decided to explain. "I mean it's her job to listen more than talk Mark. And you do realize getting her there last night was only the first step, not the cure all. This could be a long road to travel. Especially considering all the help she seems to be getting from her dear family."  
  
"I didn't really think about it that way, but I guess you're right. I wonder what Gigi said to her?"  
  
"I don't know, and I'm not about to ask. Even super nosey me knows where to draw the line." She smiled at him.  
  
"And what he said. She didn't hear the whole message from Anton. What if her said he was on his way here or something? What if he said something like that after you turned it off?" That panic edge had crept back into Mark's voice.  
  
"I didn't think of that." Jen said as she started picking up the broken pieces of the coffee mug Cass had dropped when she heard Anton's voice on the machine. "That would be something that would be helpful to know a head of time."  
  
"Right." Mark nodded in agreement. "Well I can't handle gong in there and listening to what happened to her. And standing here waiting for Roger to come out and tell me what's going on is not only unappealing, but will probably make me even more nuts." He grabbed his phone before he quickly wrote a note and left it on the counter for Roger. "So let's go find out what's going on here." He popped the tape out of the answering machine. "Maybe it will help."  
  
"Where are we going?" Jen asked picking her keys back up.  
  
"To get this translated."  
  
"But who do we know that can speak French? Especially well enough to translate that?" Jen was almost running down the hall trying to keep up with Mark.  
  
"We've got two options." Mark told her. "The first is Joanne. I'm really hoping she's around and can do this, because I'd rather not have to use option number two. That could get really, really messy."  
  
"Why? Who's option number two?"  
  
Mark paused and looked around first as if he was checking to see if anyone else was around to hear him. "Option two," He told her as he started to dial Maureen and Joanne's apartment, "is Alison."  
  
"Alison? Alison who?" Jen asked jogging along to keep up. Mark had never moved this fast before.  
  
"Coffin. As in Muffy, Benny's wife."  
  
"Oh, you're right, that could get messy." 


	26. 26

A/N As usual my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has reviewed. Note to Sandy: you crack me up! But don't worry about Mark. I have plans for him! Thanks so much!  
  
Chapter 26  
  
  
  
"Cass?" Roger whispered. "Are you asleep?"  
  
"No. I was just thinking."  
  
"Oh. Do you want anything? Something to eat?"  
  
"No. I'm okay. Well, I guess I'm not okay, but I'm not hungry.  
  
"Okay. So what do you want to do?" Roger asked her. He was lying on his side propped up on his elbow. He still had his arm around her waist. Roger had started playing with the lower edge of her shirt. As he listened to her talk he was flicking the material between his fingers. As he looked up to ask her what she wanted to do, his fingers slipped. He missed the edge of the shirt and his fingers accidentally landed under it. It was only the tips of his fingers, and only for the slightest of seconds. Two, three seconds at the most. But as he made contact with her skin Roger could feel the electricity from that one little touch, run through his entire body. He jerked his hands back, fast and hard. So fast and hard that he knew she had to of noticed. Smooth Roge, real smooth.  
  
Cass felt his fingers touch her skin. Up till that moment, she had been afraid that the next guy that touched her, real actually touched her would make her puke. The idea of it alone had been enough to almost make her sick. She didn't think she would ever be able to have anything to do with any guy like that ever again.  
  
That was one of the reasons she came here. She and Mark were such good friends. They were more than friends. They had grown too much. They meant too much to each other. They loved each other with all their hearts and souls, but Cass was pretty sure they would never go back to where they started. And she was okay with that. And so was Mark as far as she could tell. She knew that no matter what happened, or how she looked or felt to anyone else, Mark would always be there for her. He would always lover her. No matter how revolting the idea of touching her was after all this, to anyone else, she knew Mark would never judge her. He would never hate her, never pull away from her. He would always lover here.  
  
Up until he opened the door, what seemed like so long ago, she had forgotten all about Roger. Roger who was so different but so the same as Mark. She had always known what she could count on and expect out of Mark. Cass has begun to hope for the same out of Roger. Actually, secretly, deep down inside she had started to hope for even more.  
  
All the time she had spent with him. Everywhere they went, anytime any thing had happened, Roger was there for her. He held her. He talked to her. He comforted her. He took care of her and protected her. He swore he would never let anyone hurt her again. But he had never touched her. Not like that at least. Not until now.  
  
Now, right now, in that spilt second when his fingers touched her, she felt it. She felt the heat and electricity that came out of his fingertips. She felt some of the fears she had been holding deep inside start to move. Start to just shift in the slightest. Maybe start to fade a degree or two. Maybe. Someday maybe.  
  
All of that ran through her mind during that one second. It ran through her brain and started to make her feel better. So much better. Until that next second. The next second when he yanked his hand away from her skin. Almost as if it hurt him to touch her. Hurt him. Revolt him. Disgust him.  
  
What did she want to do was what he was asking her when he accidentally touched her and he couldn't stand the feel of her. She rolled over away from him. "Nothing." Cass snapped in an icy, emotionless voice. "Don't worry." She said as she stood up and stormed out of the room. "I don't want anything."  
  
Roger sat up on the bed as she stood up like that. "Cass." He hopped up as she stormed out, slipping on the garbage bag Mark had brought the laundry home in last week. Roger fell down to one knee when his foot slid forward. "Cass! I didn't mean to! It's not you Cass! I, Cass I never, I'm sorry!" He yelled after her as he pulled himself off the floor. "I'm sorry Cass! I'm sorry!" He yelled as he heard her slam Mark's door closed.  
  
You fucking idiot Roger! How could you be so stupid? You're a fucking chickenshit who's scared of getting hurt again and because of that she thinks you hate her! How could you have been such an idiot?  
  
He heard her slid the dresser in front of the door a little, just enough to keep it closed. "Go the fuck away Roger!" She screamed at him through the door. "Just go away!"  
  
"Cass I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean anything by that Cass. I'm sorry! It didn't have anything to do with you Cass! I'm sorry!" Roger slid onto his knees in front of the door. "I'm sorry Cass. I'm so sorry I'm such a fucking idiot Cass! I'm so sorry I'm an idiot." Roger started sobbing as he spoke to her from the floor in front of the door.  
  
I'm a chickenshit idiot, who has managed to fuck up one more person's life Roger thought. He didn't know it was possible to let down and hurt as many people as he has in his life, and the list and number just seems to keep growing. How could he do that to her? And Mark? For this Mark would hate him. Over the years he had done a lot to Mark. He had given Mark plenty of reasons for himto hate him. But Mark never did. Until now. He'll hate you now. He'll have to now. He loves her. He'd have to hate him for hurting Cass like that.  
  
Mark you're going to hate me and I'm so sorry. I was trying to do better by you and I've blown it beyond any repair. Roger could hear the conversation in his head. He could see the look that would wash over Mark's face. The way Mark would start to shake as the anger built up. And the way Roger would feel when Mark would silently turn and just walk away from him. Leaving him alone with nothing. Maybe for good this time.  
  
Oh God Mark I'm an idiot. Can you ever forgive me? No of course you can't. Cass. Mark. Mark. Mark? Where is Mark? He should have been over here by now. Asking Roger what the fuck he did? How could he have done that? Making sure Cass was okay. Taking care of her.  
  
"I'm sorry Cass." He told her again softly. God he was tired all of a sudden. He didn't have an ounce of energy left in him. "I'm sorry Cass. I'd never do that to you Cass. Please believe me. Please Cass." The tears were rolling down his face. "I'm such a chickenshit Cass. Really I am. That had nothing to do with you Cass. I swear Cass. If I wasn't such a big frigging coward that never would have happened. I'm so sorry Cass. Please believe me." His voice started to trail off. "Please believe me. I'd never do that to you Cass. I couldn't. Cause, cause I think I love you." Roger dropped his head into his hands and rested his elbows on his knees.  
  
He sat there like that for a few minutes. Not saying anything. Just listening to the quietness of the loft. Finally he stood up. "Cass, I'm, I'm going back in the other room, if you want to come out of there or anything. I'll go back in my room. So you don't have to see me or anything if you don't want."  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
Mark, Jen and Maureen sat at the table staring at Joanne. She had headphones on and they were plugged into Maureen's walkman. She would listen, sometimes rewind, and listen again. Sometimes she would flip open a French dictionary. Then she would write down a few words. They cold all tell by the look on her face that whatever she was hearing, was not very nice.  
  
Joanne turned off the tape and pulled off the headphones. "I remember now why I never wanted anything to do with family law. That is one fucked up family." She shook her head.  
  
"That much we already know. But what about what they said?" Jen asked. "He didn't say anything about come here or anything did he?"  
  
"No, not really. Not in so many words."  
  
"Well what did they say in so many wards then?" Mark asked.  
  
"Well," Joanne began as she looked around the table. "The first one, her aunt? Well she was really upset with Cass. She wanted to know how Cass cold make up all those lies about her wonderful son. There were also a bunch of not so nice names and things she said. I know a lot of them were curse words, just not exactly what they all translate too. Not that that really matters."  
  
"Okay, so we now know Gigi's a bigger bitch than we imagined before." Mark swallowed. "What about him?"  
  
"Basically, he called her a lying little slut whore who got what she deserved for holding out on him. And then he started going on about how if she starts any more trouble for him how then she'll really get it."  
  
"Did he say anything else?" Jen asked.  
  
"Not really." Joanne said, but she dropped her eyes down to the table. Those intense, direct lawyer eyes that always made contact with who ever she was talking too.  
  
It was not a move that Mark missed. "What do you mean? What else did he say?"  
  
"Nothing really Mark. It was just a lot of talk."  
  
"Tell me what he said." Mark demanded.  
  
"Mark you don't want to know." She told him in one of her strongest lawyer voices.  
  
"Joanne just tell me."  
  
"No Mark! You don't need to know. He's just a rude bastard that was out to hurt her even more by saying what he said. Nobody needs to hear that part. Okay? Will you just trust me? Please?"  
  
"Marky," Maureen said quietly to him. "Maybe you better just trust Joanne on this. You know? I mean if it was something vital or would change anything that would be different. But if it was only said to hurt her, then Joanne's telling you, just means he got what he wanted. To hurt her more. See?"  
  
Mark nodded. He wanted to know, but just like the conversation Cass and Roger were having when he left, he really didn't want to know. He didn't want details. The stuff his brain could come up with on it's own was bad enough. Mark decided Maureen was right, and there was no point in helping his brain. Or that bastard Anton.  
  
"Joanne is there anything they can do? Like legally?" Jen asked.  
  
"Well I don't know about Italian law, but I would assume rape and assault and battery are illegal there as well as here. But I'm sure to press charges she would have to do it there. Which meant doing it before she left, which I don't see having happened. The only other option is going back over there to press charges now."  
  
"That'll never happen." Mark told them.  
  
"It doesn't matter anyway." Joanne explained. "Unless he's there in Italy. And probably walks himself into the police station. I doubt they would go looking for him. And definitely not out of the country."  
  
"But what about here, in the states?" Jen asked.  
  
"Yeah Pookie, isn't there any way to keep him away or make him stop calling?"  
  
"Well speaking as your attorney, pro bono of course, I'd have to say no, not really. I mean we could try and get a restraining order against him. But I hate to say it, a piece of paper doesn't really do much to stop anyone from anything. Especially when they aren't really scared of getting into trouble with the police." She let out a heavy sigh. "Other than that, no not really. Sometimes the legal system really sucks." She tossed the pencil onto the table.  
  
"You're right." Jen started. "He's not scared of getting into trouble with the police I bet. But maybe he's scared of her father and uncle. Maybe letting them hear that, or part of that at least, might help. Maybe they'll do something about him then."  
  
"She might be right. That could help control him some." Maureen said.  
  
"What?" Mark asked her. "You want me to call Carlton and say your filthy pig of a nephew is leaving dirty messages on my answering machine? That will get me far I'm sure. And there's no way I'm letting Cass do that."  
  
"No, Mark's right." Joanne agreed. But she had gotten that sharp lawyer look back into her eyes. "I don't want Cass to have to ever hear the rest of this tape if we can help it. She doesn't need that. And her uncle and father won't respond to a call from Mark I don't think. But Mark's attorney may get a little more respect. That's someone they are more inclined to be used to dealing with. As opposed to one of their kids little friends. No offense Mark."  
  
"No, it's okay. And you're probably right. They are real corporate types. More so than anyone we would ever see or deal with here in New York. Me they'd laugh at, but Joanne Jefferson, attorney at law, might just work. Will you do it?" He asked with huge, pathetic begging blue eyes.  
  
"Of course, but we have to check with Cass first."  
  
Mark stood up from the table. "Well let's go then."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Roger walked into his room and stepped into the puddle of tea on the floor. Mark and his damn tea. He turned and went back out to the kitchen for a towel. On his way he saw the note from Mark.  
  
He was still standing there, debating if he should call him. But call him and say what? Come home. Your no good fucking roommate and supposed best friend is a complete moron. Who let you down again by the way. Not to mention what I did to Cass, which Mark your gonna hate me for. Oh yeah that's a phone call he wanted to make. Well you've already established you're a complete chickenshit Davis, you might as well wait for Mark to come home and find out on his own now. That way he'll have something else to use against you.  
  
Just then Mark's bedroom door opened and Cass stepped out. She just looked at him for a second. "Where's Mark?" She asked quietly.  
  
"He's not here." Roger's eyes dropped. He couldn't look at her. "They went to see Joanne. To have her translate the rest of the messages. They just wanted to make sure he didn't say anything about coming here or anything. He didn't want you to have to listen to the rest of it." With eyes still on the floor he kept talking. "I can call him if you want. If you want him to come home now."  
  
"No it's okay."  
  
"Are you sure?" He asked her in a defeated, beaten down voice. "I will if that's what you want. If not I'll leave you alone. Just give me like five minutes and I'll take off for a while. Unless you don't want to stay here alone. I'll just go in the other room then. Whatever you want Cass. Whatever you want."  
  
"No, don't leave Roger. I want to, I need to ask you something."  
  
Roger walked around the bar into the living room area as Cass walked over towards the couch. But she didn't sit down. She never took her eyes off of him.  
  
"What did you mean?"  
  
"I never meant for you to think anything like that Cass! I just didn't expect to, you now, feel that. And I wasn't ready for that. And not cause it was you or anything either. You gotta believe that. It wouldn't have mattered who it was. I wasn't ready for that."  
  
"Okay. I sort of understand. I guess. But I meant what did you mean about the other part? The last part?"  
  
Roger had to think for a second. The other part? That he would leave? Go back in the other room? That it wasn't her? It was him? That he would never do that to her? No, he knew it was none of those. It was the other part that he said. The words that had floated in and out of his brain, but he hadn't even realized they actually came out of his mouth, at least audibly.  
  
"I, I never should have said that." Out loud at least. "I'm sorry Cass you don't need crap like that," like me, "right now. I'm sorry."  
  
"Roger tell me again what you said." She asked him never taking her eyes off him.  
  
"I said, I said I think I love you." He told her barely above a whisper with his eyes still on the floor. "I'm sorry Cass."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why what?"  
  
"Why would you say that? Why would you even think that? You don't even know me. Hell you didn't even remember Mark talking about me. Why would you even think that? You don't know anything about me." Her voice was losing some of the strength she was used to possessing when she wanted to make a point. "You don't even know me. You only met me a week ago."  
  
"You're right, I did only meet you a week ago. But it doesn't matter. You're not the same person you were two weeks ago. Neither am I. I can tell. Not only from me, but in Mark. Look at him. You can tell. He just sort of looks at us sometimes lie he's trying to figure out what's going on with us. Who we are, because I'm not he same recluse who wouldn't get off the couch and your not the same person he's talked and written to for years."  
  
She just nodded at him. Cass didn't know what to say. She only knew that he was probably right. And that scared her some.  
  
"I was sitting on the couch waiting to die when you knocked on the door. I didn't give a shit about anything or anyone, including myself. And you changed all that in me." Roger was speaking slowly, in a clam, hushed voice. He didn't have the energy for anything more than that. "So, no I didn't know you a week ago, but I know you now. And that's what's important I guess. Do you understand what I'm saying?"  
  
She understood exactly what he was saying. "I, I guess I do." She softly stammered. "And, and I guess maybe, maybe you're right. About this week verses the week before."  
  
"Yeah, I'm right." Roger told her with his eyes still on the ground. He couldn't bear to look at her when he told her the next part. "And I'm sorry I said that to you. You don't need to deal with crap like that right now. I'm sorry."  
  
"Crap like what? And why do you keep saying you're sorry?" She asked moving towards him.  
  
'It's just, it's just," he flopped down on the couch. "I never should have thrown that out there. You've got enough to deal with right now. You don't need some total fuck up giving you that to have to think about too. The last thing you need is to have to deal with all that, with somebody like me. I'm too fucked up with too much baggage. You don't need any of that!" He was getting defensive.  
  
She sat down next to him on the couch and laid her burnt hand on top of his. "Roger you're not a total fuck up. You're wonderful. I never could have made it through this week with out you." The tears started rolling down her cheeks. "Never." She hugged him. "Never." She whispered.  
  
Cautiously he put his arms around her "You mean it? You don't hate me?"  
  
"No, I don't hate you! I was really pissed at you for awhile but I don't hate you. Really. I never would have gotten through without you. You and Mark. But especially you."  
  
"Oh god Cass." He said into her ear as he started running his fingers through her hair. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to think anything by that. I just wasn't ready for anything, you know?"  
  
"Uh huh. Me either I guess."  
  
"So we're okay? Me and you?"  
  
Cass paused to think. "Yes." She told him as they broke apart and she wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Just a little different I guess." She watched the worried look come over his face. "Not different bad, just different from say yesterday. Sort of."  
  
"Okay." He said softly. "I guess you're right. I can't take back what I said. Not that I want to." He looked in to her eyes for the first time since this whole mess began. But we can't pretend it's not out there either." Roger knew at least he couldn't  
  
Cass nodded in agreement as Roger continued. "I guess, maybe, we need to just keep going. Moving forward. With everything. You, me, this whole thing, everything. Let's just, can we just sort of take this whole thing slow? Real slow?"  
  
"That's probably a really good idea." She agreed 


	27. 27

Chapter 27  
  
  
  
"Where's Cass?" Mark asked as he opened the door and saw Roger at the counter. "Is she okay? Did she say anything? Did anything else happen? Well where is she?" Mark looked around the room and back to Roger as he stepped through the door followed by Jen, Maureen and Joanne.  
  
"She's in the shower." Roger told him. As for the rest of Mark's questions, yeah, a lot else happened and yeah, she said a lot and I said a lot and we aren't even going to go into any of that.  
  
"We've got an idea." Jen told Roger as Cass came out of the bathroom in a towel.  
  
"Hey." She said as she walked over to Roger. He untaped the plastic bag over her cast.  
  
"Let me see you other hand." Roger told her. She held out her left hand. Roger looked at her burn and put some burn cream on it before he started to wrap it up with the gauze.  
  
After Cass got dressed she came back out and sat on the couch next to Roger. He lit two cigarettes and handed her one. She took a deep drag. "So what's your idea?"  
  
Joanne gave them a basic run down of what the answering machine message said. Without going into any great detail. Then she explained about calling Carlton and Andre in a lawyer capacity.  
  
"That may work." Cass told them. "Or at least help some. Especially if they hear it. That way it's not my word against his."  
  
"So do you want me to call them?" Joanne asked.  
  
"Yes. Call them. But do me a favor. Do it as their attorney, not mine. They'll take you more seriously that way, if you're calling on behalf of Mr. Cohen and Mr. Davis as opposed to me."  
  
"Got it. No problem.  
  
"Good. You ready?" She asked Roger.  
  
"Uh huh." He told her as he pulled her up off the couch.  
  
"Where are you guys going?" Jen asked with a smirk returning to her face.  
  
"To get cigarettes." Roger said simultaneously as Cass said "For a walk."  
  
"I guess we're going for a walk too then." Roger shrugged. "But we're out of cigarettes. We'll see you guys later. I've got my phone Mark." He told him as they walked out the door.  
  
"But neither of you smokes anymore!" Mark yelled after them.  
  
At that all three of the girls started laughing at him. "Well they don't you know."  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
  
  
"No thank you, Mr. Sullivan. Yes, definitely. Mr. Cohen and Mr. Davis will be happy to hear that. Yes. Thank you again. Goodbye."  
  
"Okay she's off the phone." Maureen yelled towards Mark's closed bedroom door. "You can let him out Jen."  
  
"Thank god." Jen exclaimed as she came out of the bedroom with Mark. "I don't know how much longer I would have been able to keep him in there. Without restraints that is."  
  
"Ha ha very funny. What happened?"  
  
"I spoke, he listened. He spoke, I listened. Went well I think. He seemed to understand your concerns and will look into what he can do to make sure it does not happen again. I'll hear from him in the next few days."  
  
"That's it?" Jen asked wide-eyed. "He's her father. He didn't ask how she was or anything?"  
  
"Well," Joanne began, "in his defense, he would have no way of knowing I have ever even met Cass."  
  
"Yeah well, we'll see I guess." Mark said, but he did not sound very convincing.  
  
"Look Mark, right now that's all we can do. Let's just wait and see what happens."  
  
"Yeah, I guess."  
  
"Well guys, if I plan on doing anything tonight I need to get home and take care of a few things."  
  
"Do you have to go back to Washington this week Joanne?" Jen asked.  
  
"Yes. Tomorrow afternoon. I'll be down till Wednesday or Thursday."  
  
"Yup. We gotta go then." Maureen said, grabbing Joanne by the waist. "So do we have any plans for tonight?"  
  
"Not that I know of so far." Jen said.  
  
"Marky we still taking care of that stuff tomorrow night?"  
  
"As far as I know. I guess I better double check with Roger. And I gotta find something for Cass to do. I think I'd rather do all that alone. Just you and me." He turned to Jen. "Are Jason and Collins going to the Iguana tomorrow night?"  
  
"I don't know. You can ask him later thought. Jason's coming over soon to fix the hole in my bedroom wall."  
  
"What hole?" Mark asked her.  
  
"The one that mysteriously appeared last weekend." She rolled her eyes at Mark. "When two psychos wacked my bedroom door open so hard the doorknob went into the drywall."  
  
"Oh, sorry."  
  
"Don't worry about it." She laughed. "Jason is very capable of fixing dry wall. Plenty of holes knocked in walls over the years back home."  
  
"Okay, well we're out of here so we can go out tonight. Marky you find out from Roger about tomorrow. 'Kay? Jenny we'll see you later. Tell Mr. Fix it and Collins we'll see them tonight hopefully. Think cheap tonight guys."  
  
"Yeah, that's a good idea." Mark agreed. "Bye guys. Thanks Joanne."  
  
Maureen and Joanne left as Mark and Jen continued talking. After a few minutes there was a banging on the front door, as if it were being kicked.  
  
Mark got up to open it. "You two thirsty or something?" He asked as Roger walked in carrying two cases of beer with two bags of ice laid on top. Cass also had her hands full with three grocery bags she was struggling with because of her cast and burnt hand.  
  
"Very funny. Move, this is heavy." Roger told him as he set the cases on the counter.  
  
Mark took the bags from Cass as she closed the door. "You just missed Joanne and Maureen. They just left."  
  
"Oh we saw them on the steps." Cass said. "They'll be back tonight."  
  
"Yeah," Roger started to explain. "I talked to Izzy. He's coming over tonight. We're gonna have a mini jam session. Andrew too. You remember him? Drummer. I used to play with him once in awhile."  
  
Mark was somewhat amazed. Roger was having a party? Anti-social Roger? Invited people here, to our place? And Andrew was one of them? Oh yeah, Mark remembered Andrew. Did Roger know what Andrew did now? He must. Especially after last night. "You mean the guy that used to drum with you guys sometimes during practice? The one that works at," uh, let's word that differently, Marky. "The one that was going to school to get an MSW?"  
  
"Yeah him. I saw him last night. Get this," he grinned, "he plays wedding receptions sometimes!" He laughed. "Well he said he wanted to jam sometime. Play some real music. I talked to Izzy, who wanted to do the something tonight. So I called him."  
  
"Uh huh." That was about all Mark could say at this moment. He was slightly shocked. "So we're having a party?" Mark never thought he would utter those words again. Not about here. Not involving Roger.  
  
"No, we're not having a party. Just a few people." Roger told him.  
  
Just then they heard a key in the lock and the door opened. "Hey guys what's up?" Collins asked as he and Jason walked in.  
  
"Apparently we're having a party." Mark told them.  
  
"It's not a party. It's just a few people." Roger said as he put the ice in the freezer.  
  
"Some people being Andrew the drummer." Mark said with a look at Collins. "And Izzy. Which means really Izzy and his following. Plus all of us."  
  
"Fine. If you want to get technical, then it's not a few people, it's some people. That doesn't make it a party." He was moving stuff around in the fridge to fit the beer in.  
  
"Okay," Jen said. "It's not a party. It's just a bunch of people." She gave that devilish evil smirk to Mark. "With music."  
  
"Live music." Mark added.  
  
"And beer." Jen smirked.  
  
"Lot's of beer." Mark raised an eyebrow.  
  
"And junk food." Jen said as she started to help Cass unload the chips, pretzels and other stuff from the grocery bags.  
  
"But it's not a party." Mark started laughing.  
  
"Definitely not a party." Jen was laughing too at this point as well as Collins, Jason and Cass.  
  
"Fine, whatever." Roger shook his head and grinned at Cass. "I guess were having a party."  
  
"I'm noticing that." She laughed.  
  
"So Andrew is coming over? With his drums?" Mark still couldn't believe it. "We better go downstairs and invite the girls. And that idiot in the big apartment. Maybe if we get him drunk we won't have to listen to him bitch and moan."  
  
"Go ahead if you want," Roger told him, "but what's he gonna do? Complain to the building manager?"  
  
"Probably. He's such an ass sometimes."  
  
"Uh, Mark?" Jen grinned at him as Roger rolled his eyes. "That would, uh, be you. Remember? You're the building manager."  
  
"Oh yeah! I forgot." He gave them all a big dorky grin. "See I told you there were perks working for Benny."  
  
"Whatever." Roger told him. "But get this, you know that waitress at the Life Café? Um, what was her name?"  
  
"Joellen." Cass told him.  
  
"Yeah, Joellen. Well she's Andrew's girlfriend's sister. Twin sister." He laughed.  
  
"Oh great!" Jen joked. "Just what we need, more twins around here!"  
  
"Lovely." Collins piped in. "More twins, double the trouble."  
  
"I didn't know you two are twins." Cass said.  
  
"Oh we're twins alright." Jason grabbed Jen in a headlock hug. "Bet you can't guess who the evil twin is thought?" He started pointing at Jen above her head.  
  
"Oh shut up little brother! And go fix my wall." She started to push him out the door. "So I can get everything done before the party that's not actually a party party. Little brother."  
  
"Oh don't even go there." He laughed. "You're only two and a half minutes older than me!"  
  
"Whatever you say, baby bro! We'll see you guys tonight. Do you want me to stop down stairs and tell Ginny and Leslie about tonight?"  
  
"Yeah you better. It's gonna be loud, if there's gonna be drums, and Izzy." Mark laughed. "He doesn't even need instruments to be loud."  
  
"Okay. We'll stop on our way down." She looked at her watch. "Ginny should be up by now. I'll take care of it. Cass give me a few minutes and I'll wash your hair if you still want."  
  
"Okay. I'll be down in a few."  
  
They left as Cass flopped onto the couch next to Roger who was starting to tune his guitar. "What did Jen mean about the girl downstairs being up by now? It's four in the afternoon?" Just then, as if on cue, Roger and Mark's watches went off, signally it was time for Roger's afternoon pills.  
  
Mother hen Mark was about to say something to Roger who had hit the button to silence his watch and went back to tuning the guitar. Before he could though, Roger put the guitar down on the couch and stood up. "Oh," he grinned, "Ginny's got worse hours then me when we got a gig. She's going to what? Nursing school? So she goes to night school, then to work then comes home and does her homework." He had this stupid grin on his face as he nodded at Mark.  
  
Mark just watched as, without any prompting, Roger still talking comes into the kitchen and pulls out his pills and takes them. "But see the funny thing is she's a dancer at the Cat Scratch Club. Mimi was good friends with her. She moved into her old apartment when Mimi moved in up here permanently."  
  
Mark couldn't believe it. Taking his pills on his own, on time? And talking about Mimi? And laughing while doing it? Wow.  
  
"But what's funny about that?" Cass asked.  
  
"Well," he kept chuckling, "she didn't always have a lot of time between school and work and stuff. Mimi said she used to go to school dressed for work. A lot. And she used to study in the back between sets. When I'd pick Mimi up sometimes she'd be sitting there studying. She'd go dressed from work to her 6:00 am study group. Mimi said she had to go see the head of the nursing department once because one of the first times she showed up at school dressed for work, it was in this little nurses' outfit. You remember that outfit?" He grinned.  
  
"Yeah," Mark nodded, a grin crossing over his face as well. "I remember that outfit." The thought of that temporarily pushing the amazement Mark previously had over Roger's actions.  
  
"Got it." Cass laughed. "Nursing school student stripper in super short, super tight nurses outfit. Basically ever 15 year old boys wet dream?"  
  
Mark almost choked on the water he was sipping as she said that. Roger cracked up. "Basically, yeah I guess."  
  
"Okay boys! I'm going to Jen's to get my hair washed. I'll see you later." She walked out laughing.  
  
Roger went back tot his guitar still laughing. Mark wanted to ask him about Mimi's stuff. He wanted to talk to him about all this, but he seemed so happy. Mark didn't want to screw that up. He would do anything to keep that going. But he needed to talk to him. Alone. And Mark wasn't sure when he would get another chance. Who know, maybe this could go all right after all.  
  
"Hey Rog," Mark said sitting on the couch with him, "can I talk to you?"  
  
"What's up Marky?" He said still tuning the guitar.  
  
Good sign Mark thought. He only ever calls me Marky when he's in a very good mood or very sarcastic mood. Mark was hoping for good mood. "Um, you remember that thing we were talking about?"  
  
"We talk about lots of things Mark, can you be a little more specific?" He laughed without looking up from the guitar.  
  
"Oh, um, right. The thing you wanted me to take care of? Me and Maureen?"  
  
He stopped picking at the guitar, but kept fiddling with the string pegs with his left hand. After a moment and without looking up, in a voice devoid of emotion Roger answered him. "You mean doing something with Mimi's stuff."  
  
"Um, yeah." Mark was starting to sweat and it wasn't from the early September heat. "Do, um, you, um.still want me to, um, do that? Tomorrow night?" Mark squeaked out the words.  
  
"Yeah, I guess I do." He kept playing with the pegs.  
  
"Okay, as long as you're sure." He paused. "I just wanted to double check." Mark watched him for a moment. "Is there anything um, special you want, uh, want me to do with everything?"  
  
"I guess not. Just give it all away I guess. To some shelter or something. I know I told you to pull out anything Cass can use, but um, let's not do that. Okay? I don't think I want to do that."  
  
"Okay. Whatever you say. Do you want me to take care of all of it tomorrow night? Like be all done with it then?"  
  
"Yeah. No, wait. Can you just sorta clean it up and put it together tomorrow. I, I just want to go through some of it. You know, before. Just incase."  
  
"Yeah, I know. We'll do that. When you're ready, go ahead. Then just let me know and I'll finish it up."  
  
Roger finally looked up from the guitar. He looked him straight in the eye. "Thanks Mark."  
  
"It's no problem Roger."  
  
"No, really Mark. Thank you. For everything." He went back to tuning the guitar. 


	28. 28

Chapter 28  
  
  
  
"Mark, somebody's at the door." Cass called to him from the couch. "Mark, the door."  
  
"I hear it. You know you can open the door Cass. You do sort of live here."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
He watched her give him a forced smile as he went to open the door. Why did she seem so uncomfortable all of a sudden? Mark was getting lost in his thoughts when he all of a sudden got brought back to reality by the banging on the door again. Mark opened the door to find Andrew and two girls in the hall holding Andrew's various drum parts in their cases.  
  
"Hey Mark how you doing?" He started hauling in the drum kit. "You guys would have to live on the fourth floor wouldn't you?"  
  
"Wouldn't be the penthouse if it wasn't on the top floor." Roger joked with him as he came out of the bathroom with wet hair and a towel around his waist.  
  
"If this was an actual penthouse, I could have rode up in the elevator. Instead of hauling my drums up three flights of stairs." Andrew told them as he walked into the living room followed by the two girls who were each holding a drum case with a six pack of beer stacked on top.  
  
"Andrew, I'm your girlfriend, not your roadie, do something with this crap."  
  
"Hey, watch how you talk in front of them. They are very sensitive!" He grinned.  
  
"I swear sometimes I think you love those dumb things more than me." She told him before turning to the rest of the room. "I'm Jolene by the way."  
  
"Oh, sorry. She flustered me when she insulted my babies. Roger Davis, Mark Cohen this is my girlfriend Jolene and her sister Joellen."  
  
"Hey." Mark smiled at them. "This is my friend Cass."  
  
"We've met before." Joellen explained to Andrew. "At Life Café. Except usually when I see them," she giggled, "Roger's wearing pants."  
  
"Um, yeah, maybe I'll go get dressed." He said with that incredible Roger grin.  
  
"Might be a plan." Mark told him. "Well come on in and sit down."  
  
Their arrival was soon followed by Joanne and Maureen. "Hey Andrew! Long time no see!" Maureen said as she threw her arms around his neck in a sloppy hug. Mark had a feeling she had already had a few drinks before she left home. Especially when he saw the perturbed look run across Joanne's face.  
  
"Hey Mo." He said as he peeled her off of him. "Have you met my girlfriend Jolene? And her sister Joellen?"  
  
"Oh we know Joellen. I mean we eat almost every meal with her!" She laughed at her own joke. "Ain't it a small world?"  
  
"Hey Mo. How you doing?" Mark cautiously asked her.  
  
"Great Marky. How 'bout you?" She said, throwing her arms around his neck this time.  
  
Joanne's annoyance was still evident as she moved to the other side of the room near where Roger was helping Andrew set up his drums. Cass walked over to check on her. "You okay Joanne?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. But I do need to talk to you. Can you give me a few minutes? To, ah, talk business." Joanne steered her into Roger's room.  
  
Cass had just given the door a small shove to close it some when it flew back open. Roger bounded into the room and grabbed Cass by the waist, spinning her sideways. "What's going on girls? You telling secrets?" He asked handing them each a beer. "So what's up with Maureen? You guys fighting again?"  
  
"Yes. No. Oh I don't know. She's just mad about me having to go back to Washington tomorrow. What does she want me to do? It's my job. They're one of our biggest clients." She shrugged as she twisted the cap off her beer.  
  
"You know Mo." He said resting his chin on Cass' shoulder as he took the beer she was struggling to open with her only two non-injured fingers. "Drama queen to the bitter end." Roger said, handing Cass back her beer.  
  
"It's the bitter part of end that worries me sometimes." Joanne shrugged. "Oh well, nothing I can do about that now. But back to business. I spoke to your father this morning."  
  
"I don't want to know." Cass told her flatly.  
  
"What do you mean?" Joanne was confused.  
  
"Look, I'll deal with him, well them, for business. Other than that, forget it. This isn't business. I don't want to know. I don't care."  
  
Roger was still standing behind her hugging her around the waist looking over her shoulder. He could feel her tense up and lean into him some. "Well, I care. You're my lawyer, pro bono of course."  
  
"Of course." Joanne smirked.  
  
"Well as me and Mark's lawyer you called to find out about us not getting harassed, so tell me what he said."  
  
Joanne's eyes flicked to Cass first before settling on Roger to answer. "He thanked me for making him aware of the situation, said he would prefer to handle this himself, not have to involve any more lawyers, and will be speaking with both parties. He hopes we can come to an amicable solution. I should hear back from him later this week. He also wanted me to express his sincerest apologies to both Mr. Davis and Mr. Cohen for any inconvenience."  
  
"And he damn well should." Roger grinned. "Because Mr. Davis would be just as happy kicking his ass as suing it."  
  
"As you lawyer Mr. Davis, I'm not advising either action at this current moment. Especially the first one. God you are insane Roger!" She laughed as she walked out the door.  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
"Oh god it's back!" Jen exclaimed as she walked in the door with Collins and Jason.  
  
"Like you thought it was out of our faces for good." Jason laughed at her.  
  
"I'm surprised it was out of sight for as long as it was." Collins pointed out, with a grin breaking through in the end. "And the fact that Mark didn't go through withdrawal and was able to function all week without playing with it was somewhat amazing."  
  
"Yeah Mark how did you manage to handle it all week?" Jason joked. "Were you getting laid on the side and no one knew it?"  
  
"You guys are assholes, you know that right?" Mark told them form behind his camera. "And for your information, I worked all week, so I was shooting things and getting paid for it as opposed to filming all you idiots for free!" He laughed.  
  
"Okay, party can officially begin, we're here and we brought beer and pizza!" The voice roared as it and a small group of people came through the door.  
  
"Hey Izzy." Mark said as he lowered the camera. "How you doing?"  
  
"Okay. Actually baffled I guess." He set the case of beer down on the counter and opened it. "What the hell is up with your little girlfriend? He shows up at practice early and starts bitching and moaning about how we suck and we only do covers and never want to try anything new. New? Is he kidding?"  
  
Mark just grinned at him.  
  
"And when we start playing, it's like a whole different Davis. I mean yeah, we do suck in comparison to him. When he actually wants to play that is, not just go through he motions. Which by the way is all that he's done in that band for months, or ever I guess. So of course we suck next to him. Duh!  
  
"And now he wants to start changing stuff and having more rehearsals and things. And get this, he was actually nice to my customers the other night when he worked. And what the hell are you grinning at Cohen?"  
  
"Well Izzy, let me ask you this. How long has this been going on?"  
  
"All of a sudden. He calls me Wednesday, says we need to talk about the direction of the band. Gives me a real hard time on Thursday at practice and at work. Not to mention the three or four phone calls between yesterday and today. What is up with him anyway?"  
  
"Did he say anything to you about us having company?" Mark asked still grinning. He was loving this. It wasn't just him and Collins that were seeing all this in Roger. It was other people too. People outside their little circle.  
  
"Yeah, some friend of yours came to visit. Some guy you knew in high school or something."  
  
Mark looked at him. "Did he say that? Some guy?"  
  
"Maybe. I don't know. I guess not. I think I just assumed it was a guy." Izzy started to grin. "So I'm assuming now that it wasn't some guy, but some girl. That would explain a lot!" He laughed loud. "God that boy does fall in love fast. And hard. So where is he? And who's the girl?"  
  
Mark looked around for Roger. Suddenly he realized there were a lot of people here, but he didn't see Roger. Or Cass. Just then Roger's bedroom door opened and Joanne walked out. He saw Cass through the door about to follow her. "Here they come now." He told Izzy as he watched Cass start to step through the doorway. But before she got all the way out Mark saw Roger's arm grab her around her waist and yank her back into the room. Even with all the people in the room Mark heard that great laugh of Cass' as the bedroom door closed again. Mark started laughing. "Or maybe not."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"Hey." Cass giggled as Roger pulled her back into the room and spun her around to face him.  
  
"Hey." He grinned at her. "You okay babe?"  
  
"Yes. I just know he' full of shit though. He won't do anything. Not really."  
  
"I know." He told her as he hugged her close. "But don't worry about it. Okay? It's not even worth getting mad over."  
  
Cass hugged him back tight. He always made her feel better. He made her feel good. Actually, she thought, he always just felt good. Real good. And he smelled good too. Real good. "Uh huh." She said into his neck. Hold up there Cass. After this morning this may not be good. Slow. We said real slow. We agreed on that. Remember?  
  
God she smelled good Roger thought. Girl shampoo and all. Jen had washed her hair and braided it again. It looked so good pulled back off her face and all. Slow your brain down Davis. As well as everything else on you. We said real slow. Right? But how slow is real slow? And how fast is too fast? "Um, okay. You want to go back out there with everyone or do you just want to hang out in here?" He asked her as he started running his fingers up and down her back, over her shirt.  
  
Cass leaned her head back some and looked up at him. Their faces were only inches apart now. As she tilted her head up their eyes met. God he was gorgeous. With those incredible green eyes. "Um, well, you did kind of invite all these people over."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"To play and all."  
  
"Uh huh." Roger whispered as their lips got closer.  
  
"And you can't really play in here. The guitar. Play the guitar from in here." She whispered to him.  
  
"Uh huh." He grinned at her just before their lips met. Met and locked. God he wanted her was all Roger could think. He kissed her and held her tightly against him. Roger couldn't think of anything else at that moment, but that exact moment. All the problems they had were fading away at that one moment. His hand went down her back and slid under her shirt. His fingers touched her lower back. He felt the shiver that ran up it.  
  
He kissed her and she kissed him back, hard. Cass felt like she was melting into him. She held him tight, as if for dear life. His hand caressed her back, which sent more shivers up her spine. She could feel one of them shaking but she couldn't tell which one. Please God she thought don't ever let him let me go.  
  
Suddenly there was a loud banging on the wall. "Yo Davis, we gonna play or what?"  
  
They broke apart and Roger grinned at her. "That would be Izzy. Sorry."  
  
Cass had a feeling she had a grin on her face that was as big and stupid as his. "That's okay." She giggled. "That went better than this morning."  
  
Roger laughed. "That's for sure. So far you haven't slammed any doors at me." Their lips had parted, but the rest of them stayed the same. Roger still had his hand on her back. He was holding her so tight he was almost lifting her up.  
  
"Yeah let's go." Andrew yelled as he played a drum roll. "I didn't haul my drums up three flights of stairs for nothing." He crashed the cymbals.  
  
"I guess you better go out there." She told him.  
  
"Uh huh." Roger whispered through his grin. "I guess." Roger started to let her go, but before he did, he pulled her back into him and kissed her again. "Okay. Let's go." He grinned at her as he opened the door.  
  
"Bout frigging time." Izzy grinned at him as he started plucking at his bass. "That must be the infamous Cass." He said so only Roger could hear as he jerked his head toward Cass as she came out of the bedroom. "Explains a lot. An awful lot. Very nice." He kept nodding his head with a cheesy grin on his face as he checked out Cass.  
  
"Just chill. I was taking care of something."  
  
"Right." Izzy told him shaking his head.  
  
"Hey Cass."  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Cass this is Izzy." Roger said to her.  
  
"So."  
  
"Okay enough." Roger almost begged. Both Cass and Izzy were laughing at him. She walked over and sat on the couch next to Jen.  
  
"What do you want to play first?" Izzy asked Roger.  
  
"I don't care." He told him as he picked up his guitar. "Just play something. Anything." Roger could feel his neck getting red.  
  
"Okay." Mark said from behind his camera. "Roger's jam session." He panned around the room stopping and zooming in on Roger.  
  
"Oh joy!" Roger said as he plugged in his guitar. "Marky's camera has returned. Gee I've missed that so!" He said sarcastically.  
  
"Haven't we all." Jason laughed.  
  
"Oh you are all soooo funny." Mark said dryly.  
  
"Okay lets go." Roger said as he flipped on the amp. He didn't notice the kitchen light start to dim.  
  
Andrew picked up his drumsticks and hit them together to start off the beat. "One, two, three, four!"  
  
As the sound of the first notes Roger and Izzy played came through each of the amps, there was a popping sound and then nothing as the power blew.  
  
"Well that was fun!" Andrew laughed along with many other people in the room.  
  
"Shit!" Roger yelled. "Flip off the amps. Mark!"  
  
"Ah, just like the good old days." Collins voiced joked in the darkness.  
  
"I know, I know I'll go find a fuse. Here hold this." He handed his camera to Cass.  
  
"Well, it's nice to know something's never change." Maureen called from the kitchen. "Who wants another beer?"  
  
Calls for beer came from around the room. "Hey where's your flashlight?" Someone asked.  
  
"Yeah, like they have one of those." Someone else laughed.  
  
"Ha ha. Use a lighter." Roger scoffed. "Mark?"  
  
"I'm working on it." Mark called back. "As soon as I find the fuses."  
  
"Somebody complain to the building manager." Jen joked in the dark.  
  
Just then the front door opened showing how dark it was in the hallway. "Davis I know this is your fault!" The first voice called.  
  
"Yeah Roger!" The second voice laughed. The whole building is out too, just so you know."  
  
"Oh goody, my night is now complete. The Super Bitch sisters have arrived." Roger called out sarcastically.  
  
"Ginny is it really the whole building?" Mark asked the girls at the door.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Okay, everybody sit tight. We gotta go to the basement then. Come on let's go." Mark said to Roger.  
  
"We who?" Roger asked flicking his lighter on.  
  
"Don't give me a hard time, just come help me."  
  
"How did you two manage to blow the whole building?" Andrew asked.  
  
"Because the building we live in is crap." Roger said as he tripped over someone's foot. "We gotta unplug some stuff first. What else was turned on other than the amps?"  
  
"The A/C," Cass started, "plus the two fans, all three phone chargers, my batter pack was charging and my laptop. Just to name a few things. Sorry."  
  
"It's okay. Just get some of it unplugged. Come on Roger. We'll be back." He walked out the door leaving it open. "God I hate the basement. Roger, come on!"  
  
"Fine, fine, owe, sorry. Where's my beer?" Roger stepped into the hall behind Mark, flicking on his lighter. "What the hell am I supposed to be doing? Protecting you from rats?"  
  
"Just shut up and help me." Mark's voice trailed off as they went down the stairs.  
  
"Does anybody else think maybe those two have lived together too long?" Someone asked to rounds of laughter.  
  
As Jason turned off the phone charges, fan and A/C everyone else was sitting in the dark talking. Cass got her laptop and turned it on.  
  
"Okay, give it a second to boot up, and we'll have some light. We have got to get an electrician in here. There is in way I can plug in like three computer systems. Okay, we have light." She started hitting buttons with her one free finger. "God I'll be happy when I can type again. Okay, now we have music." She said as the CD she had in the laptop disk drive started to play.  
  
After about ten minutes the power kicked back on. Mark and Roger appeared a few minutes later. The jam session proceeded. Music played. Beer was drank. Junk food and pizza were eaten. More beer was drunk.  
  
Mark had yet another beer. He had forgotten to pick his camera back up about two beers ago. Tonight was going too good. Everyone was having a great time. He hadn't seen Roger play like that in what seemed like forever. He hadn't seen Roger smile that much in forever either.  
  
Even with Mimi he realized. Yeah sure Roger was happy with Mimi. Very happy. But there was always something. Something behind Roger's happiness. Like he knew it wouldn't always be there for him. Because with Mimi, Roger knew it wouldn't. But now was different. Mark could see it. Collins could see it. So could Maureen. Even Izzy saw it. And Mark was really happy about that. Drunk, but happy none the less. He knew he would regret the beer tomorrow, but he didn't care. With the exception of Joanne and Maureen, tonight was perfect.  
  
About the same time Mark was thinking that, Maureen came over and plopped herself down on the couch next to him and Cass. "Who needs another beer?" She asked him as she handed Cass another beer.  
  
Roger finished up the song they were on and came over and sat down on the floor in front of them. "You want another beer Rogie?" Maureen asked him.  
  
"Rogie?" He laughed at her as he took the beer, opened it and traded it for the one Cass was struggling to open. "Oh man, you're plastered Maureen. Where's the cigarettes?" He asked Cass.  
  
"I am not!" Maureen argued.  
  
"Trust me Mo, you're toasted." Mark slurred at her.  
  
"You're not to far behind there buddy." Roger laughed as he handed Cass a cigarette.  
  
"Roge," Maureen pouted at him as she did one of her best lean forward so you can look down my top moves. "I wanna sing. Can I sing next? Please Rogie?"  
  
"Yeah Izzy," his girlfriend Krystal started. "I wanna sing too. And so does Carrie. And you said we could tonight."  
  
"What is this, Open Mic night at the loft?" Roger joked. "I don't care Maureen. If you can stand, you can sing I guess." He laughed at her.  
  
"Hey," Mark kicked a foot at Roger. "You should get Cass to sing too."  
  
"You wanna?" He asked her.  
  
"Me? Mark are you nuts? Or just drunk?" Cass looked at him shocked.  
  
"Yeah, you can sing. I've heard you."  
  
"Yeah, I heard you in the kitchen the other day. You sound great Cass. You want to sing?" Roger looked up at her.  
  
"Um," Cass looked at him, "I don't think so. Not tonight."  
  
"Whatever you want Cass." Roger told her.  
  
After Maureen sang she and Joanne left. After a few more hours and a lot more beer people started thinning out. Roger flopped on one end of the couch. Mark was passed out at the other end with Cass using him as a pillow. Izzy dropped in the chair as Andrew, Jolene and Joellen said their good-byes. "Guys, it was awesome! We sounded awesome! Roger you were awesome!"  
  
"That's it, I'm driving." Jolene said, taking the keys after listening to him speak.  
  
"Are you sure you don't mind me leaving my drums a few days?"  
  
"No problem."  
  
"Okay, we're out of here."  
  
"To say the very least." Jolene laughed at Andrew. "It was nice to meet you guys. I'm sure we'll be doing this again. He gets so grumpy when he can't play with his toys."  
  
"Yeah," Joellen yawed. "Great party. I'm sure I'll see you guys soon at the Café."  
  
"Yeah, bye guys." Roger told them as they walked out. He looked at Cass still leaning against Mark. "Come're you." He said to her as her pulled her to his end of the couch.  
  
"Know what?" Cass said to him as she moved over.  
  
"What?" Roger laughed at her, he knew she was trashed.  
  
"Mark's totally wasted." Cass laughed.  
  
"Know what?" Roger grinned at her. "I think you are too."  
  
"Not me! Well maybe a little." She chuckled.  
  
Roger picked Mark's camera up off the floor. He switched it on and looked through the eyepiece. "Close up on Mark. Totally smashed and passed out on the couch. A moment to be documented for posterity, as it happens so seldom." Roger laughed as he paned around the room at the few remaining people and stopping on Cass. Even drunk and tired she was gorgeous. Roger switched off the camera and set it back down on the floor. "Give him a little laugh when he watches that one." He grinned.  
  
"God I'm tired." Collins proclaimed. "Jason you want to take a cab home? I'm too tired to walk."  
  
"If you guys want to stay here you can." Roger told them. "You can crash in my room. All three of us have been sleeping in Mark's room with the A/C."  
  
"Let's just do that." Jason told him. "I'm beat."  
  
"Okay, night."  
  
"I gotta go to sleep." Cass told him as she stood up.  
  
"Okay. Looks like Izzy's crashing too." Roger motioned toward him in the chair starting to fall asleep. "Iz," Roger kicked his foot. "You staying here? You can have the couch if you want."  
  
Izzy mumbled something incoherent as he got up to move to the couch. Roger grabbed Mark by his shirt and hoisted him up. "Let's go Marky." Mark mumbled something back to him as Roger took off his glasses and handed them to Cass. "Boy are you gonna feel this tomorrow." Roger laughed at him as he took him in and dropped him on the bed. "Night Marky." Roger watched as Mark raised a hand and moved his lips like he was saying something but no sound came out. "Man are you gonna hurt tomorrow."  
  
Cass came out of the bathroom and walked towards Roger who was listening to Izzy babble something. "I'm going to bed." She told him.  
  
"Okay. I'm right behind you." He told her. Roger stacked up some of the empty pizza boxes and took some of the beer bottles to the kitchen. He had started thinking about how cool tonight had been. All of it. Playing, the girls singing, just plain hanging out. But especially kissing Cass. After the way this morning started, this evening sure turned out awesome.  
  
He turned out the lights and stepped into Mark's room. Cass must have taken off Mark's shoes and pants. He was laying there, snoring in his boxers. Cass had laid down on the edge of the Mark's bed, almost on the twin mattress. She was already asleep.  
  
Roger took off his shoes and pants and laid down next to her. He just lay there and watched her sleeping. God she was gorgeous. Her eye was almost heeled. If he hadn't known she had had a black eye, he never would have noticed it now. He watched her eyes twitch as she dreamed. Roger scooted over closer to her. He reached out and brushed a few hairs off her face. She stirred slightly in her sleep and rolled onto her side, right next to he. Roger dropped his arm around her. When she felt the warmth of his body, she leaned more into him. Roger wrapped his arms around her tightly. He kissed her on her neck a few times. A slight sound escaped her lips, but she didn't wake up. Roger fell asleep holding her. 


	29. 29

A/N As usual, my thanks to everyone that has reviewed. It really helps. While I don't find this to be one of the most exciting chapters, we do have some excitement coming, so stick with me. Please!  
  
Chapter 29  
  
  
  
At first Cass thought the beeping was just the pounding in her head. Then she realized there was pounding in her head as well as beeping next to it. She sat up and looked around. The beeping was coming from Roger's watch which was on the arm that had been shoved under the pillow she was laying on. No wonder he hadn't moved yet.  
  
Mark was in a similar state, but he had two pillows over his head. Cass pulled herself out of Roger's arms. She picked up his wrist and turned off the alarm. She let go of his hand and it hit the bed with a thud. Roger mumbled something as he rolled over. Cass crawled across the bed and turned off Mark's as well.  
  
She climbed out of the bed and stepped into the bright living room. Izzy was asleep on the couch. Ugh was about as much of her vocabulary she could really string together at this moment. She walked into the bathroom and decided brushing her teeth might make her feel better. It didn't work. She went to the kitchen and got a glass of water and Roger's pills.  
  
"Roger." She nudged him. "Roger." He rolled over and opened one eye. "Here." She handed him the water and pills as she sat back down next to him on the bed.  
  
"Thanks." He said groggily. "What time is it?" He swallowed more water. "Oh, stupid question, huh? It's to early." He laid back down, pulling her down with him. He pulled her in close and kissed her on her neck.  
  
Cass snuggled into his arms and rested her head on his shoulder. She could hear his heart beating in his chest as he entangled his fingers in her hair. In a few minutes they were both asleep again.  
  
"What's that noise?" Mark asked from under the pillow. "Please make it stop."  
  
"What is that?" Cass asked getting up off the bed.  
  
"I don't know," Roger told her, getting up. "But it's the last thing whoever it is may ever do."  
  
"Marky you okay?" She asked him.  
  
"I think my head might exploded." He started to sit up on the edge of the bed. "What time is it?"  
  
Roger looked at his watch as he opened the door. "Twelve thirty. Get up, you'll feel better." He laughed.  
  
"Asshole." Mark said to him as he stood up. He looked at Cass. "How the hell does he drink like this and stay up all night and still it doesn't bother him?"  
  
"Talent I guess." He grinned as he walked into the living room. "What the hell is all that noise?" Roger yelled into the living room.  
  
"Good morning sunshine." Jen called from the kitchen as she poured the freshly ground coffee out of her coffee grinder into a filter.  
  
"I have yet to see anything good about it." Maureen said sourly from the chair.  
  
"You never made it home Mo?" Cass asked as she fell onto the couch next to Roger.  
  
"Yes. But I came back. Joanne had stuff to do before leaving today. We decided she could get more done if I wasn't there. So I slept at Jen's."  
  
"Oh." Cass was sorry she asked.  
  
"Please tell me there is coffee." Jason said coming out of Roger's room, followed by Collins.  
  
"Eww Mark you look like crap." Maureen observed as he walked in and flopped down on the couch and leaned on Cass.  
  
"Well then it matches how I feel at least. Does anybody know what happened to my glasses?"  
  
"I set them somewhere last night." Cass told him.  
  
Collins and Jason sat down at the counter. "We're getting too old to drink like that and stay up all night." Collins said as he took Mark his glasses from the counter.  
  
"Speak for yourself." Jen laughed pouring scrambled eggs into a pan. "The coffee's going, give it a few minutes.  
  
"So you guys are coming to the Iguana tonight right? Do this all over again? Right Marky?" Roger joked, apparently feeling no ill effects of the night before.  
  
"I hate you sometimes, you know that right?"  
  
"Okay coffee's done, and so are the eggs and toast."  
  
Everyone but Mark and Maureen got up to get breakfast. Cass came back to the couch with a few pieces of toast on a plate. She handed one to Mark as she started to sip her coffee.  
  
"Hey what happened to Izzy?" Roger asked as he handed Mark a cup of coffee and a bottle of aspirin.  
  
"Okay, hate maybe a strong word sometimes." Mark told him.  
  
"I don't know." Jen answered Roger's question. "He was gone when we got here. Cass you don't want any eggs?"  
  
"Yuck, no, I'll pass. No offense Jen. Toast and coffee are fine though." She told her as she started scratching at her shoulder.  
  
"You sure?" Roger asked holding out a forkful of eggs.  
  
Cass slapped her hand over her mouth and plugged her nose as she pushed Roger's hand away. "Sorry." He laughed at her through a mouthful of scramble eggs.  
  
"I can't believe Izzy gave Krystal $10 and told her to take a cab home last night." Jason laughed.  
  
"Yeah, he'll be paying for that one." Roger said, taking a bite of toast. "She's gonna be pissed."  
  
"Who names their kid Izzy anyway?" Jen asked.  
  
"That's not his real name." Roger explained, taking the third piece of toast that neither Mark nor Cass had touched. "It's actually Izador or something I think."  
  
"Well that's worse than Izzy. Why do people do that?"  
  
"It's no worse than my name." Cass said.  
  
"Why what's your real name?" Maureen asked.  
  
"Yeah I thought it was Cassandra or Cassie or something." Jen said.  
  
"No that's just what my mother calls her. Among other things." Mark grinned at her.  
  
"Do I look anything at all like a Cassie?"  
  
"No. Not at all." Roger said bluntly.  
  
"It's actually Cassiopeia. Cassiopeia Isabelle Du Bartas Sullivan." Mark was grinning and everyone else was just looking at her. "Give me a break, it's a family thing. It sounds better in French." She shrugged, scratching her arm.  
  
"Your name is actually Cassiopeia?" Jason asked in amazement. "As in the chick from Battlestar Galactica? The one that was actually a space age hooker? And was doing Starbuck? And Lloyd Bridges when he guest stared? You're really named after her?"  
  
"No," she looked at him strangely. "I'm not named after, whatever it is you're talking about."  
  
"Jason you are such a geek!" Maureen joked.  
  
"How do you remember all that? Collins laughed.  
  
"Why do you remember all that?" Roger asked him.  
  
"Oh you don't even really know that half of it." Jen laughed. "Jason may be out of the closet on the big issues, but he's still in there as far as everyone knowing he's a sci-fi, Star Trek, super geek!"  
  
"Hey that was a really good show!" Jason tried to defend himself.  
  
They were all still laughing at him when Cass got up to get more coffee. The phone rang just as she stepped in front of it.  
  
"Don't answer it." Roger told her. "Let the machine get it."  
  
"Hello?" The voice screeched into the machine. "Mark? Mark are you there? It's me. Your mother. In Scarsdale."  
  
"She needs to specify, in case he confuses her with his other mother or something." Roger commented.  
  
"Mark I need your help. We got a new VCR and I need to know how to tape my show. Call me back. Soon. I want to tape something tonight. Daddy said you should be able to help me, having gone to school for that and all. I'll call you back later." Beep.  
  
"Great she'll call back later." Roger said.  
  
"Oh yeah, that's exactly what I went to school for." He shook his head. "If I'd gotten my degree that's exactly what it would have said. Bachelor of Arts in VCR programming. Yeah there's a conversation I want to have with the world's most clueless person. I'll let the twins teach her how to do that I think."  
  
"Mark does your mom have e-mail?" Cass asked.  
  
"Yeah I guess. I mean they bought Molly a new computer. I think she's got her old one."  
  
"So why don't you just email her. Then you wouldn't have to talk to her. She could email you everyday if she wanted. And you wouldn't have to actually talk to her all the time."  
  
"Only one problem." Mark began. "I don't have a computer on this end."  
  
"Hello? What exactly do you think I do for a living? You can use my computer you know. Once I get all that crap set up and running. Right now I don't have the energy or patience to deal with it. But if I don't do it soon, I'll never get caught up." She shook her head.  
  
"Oh I know exactly what you mean." Maureen said sarcastically. "I have the same problem at the copy shop."  
  
"Yeah." Jen laughed. "For this I went to college."  
  
They all laughed at that. "True. Who knew in high school that whole permanent record thing was total bull?" Collins said.  
  
"I knew." Roger announced,  
  
"You didn't know." Mark said, looking up from Cass' lap where he had laid his head. "You just didn't care."  
  
"Or that your SAT's really don't mean squat in the real world." Jason joked.  
  
"Yeah I spent enough time stressing out over the SAT's and for what?" Jen shrugged.  
  
"Yeah." Mark agreed. "A lousy 1100. Little did we realize that stupid number meant nothing."  
  
"You got a 1100?" Jen asked. "I got an 1100 too."  
  
"I don't even remember what I got." Maureen said.  
  
"I got a 1250." Collins said. "Thinking back, I always thought that would translate to more money in the long run."  
  
"Yeah." Jason laughed. "Me too. Well okay, not really, I only got an 875."  
  
"What did you get Cass?" Jen asked.  
  
"Um, well you have to remember I didn't go to traditional high school and all that."  
  
"Tell her what you got." Mark grinned. "Or I'll tell her."  
  
"Oh alright. I only got a 1560." She frowned. "Both times."  
  
"You took it twice? And scored that high both times?" Collins asked amazed.  
  
"Yes. I still don't know what I got wrong."  
  
"Gee Cass you know you probably could have gotten a 1600 had you bothered to 'apply' yourself. Kinda like someone else." Mark said looking up at Roger.  
  
"Well I had stuff to do the night before. I got in late both times."  
  
"Yeah just like somebody else I found sleeping in the backseat of my car the morning of our SAT's."  
  
They all looked at Roger who was drinking his coffee and trying hard to ignore them. "What? I needed a place to crash. Why do think he left the car unlocked?"  
  
"Roger took the SAT's?" Jen asked amazed.  
  
"Roger can spell SAT's?" Maureen said snidely as Roger gave her a sideways glare then ignored her.  
  
"What did you get?" Jen continued.  
  
"I don't know. I don't remember." He tried to blow it off.  
  
"He got a 1025." Mark told them. "With a hangover."  
  
"Roger?" Jen asked wide-eyed. "I don't believe it."  
  
" So don't." Roger said as he stood up to get more coffee.  
  
"He doesn't like stuff like that getting around." Mark laughed. "Afraid it will ruin his bad boy image or something."  
  
"Whatever. I'm gonna take a shower."  
  
"Yeah we gotta take off too." Collins said.  
  
"What time do you guys play tonight?" Jason asked.  
  
"At nine. You guys coming?"  
  
"Yes. We'll come by for awhile." Collins told him. "We'll see you guys later. Mark you gonna be okay?"  
  
"As long as my head doesn't explode."  
  
"I can second that feeling." Maureen echoed. "Jen can I take a shower and borrow some clothes?"  
  
"Sure. I need help picking out what to wear tonight anyway. What are you guys gonna do?" Jen asked Mark and Cass.  
  
"I think I'm gonna go back to bed for awhile." Mark said from his spot on Cass' lap still. "I don't feel so hot."  
  
"Big surprise there." Roger laughed. "I gotta run through some stuff before tonight, that's all. Can you bring Cass home tonight if she wants? So she doesn't have to sit there till 2 AM."  
  
"Yeah we'll do that. We'll see you two tonight then." Collins said. "Mark, hope you feel better buddy."  
  
Mark just waved as they left. Roger went to take a shower and Jen headed back to her place. Cass was still sitting on the other end of the couch flipping through the newspaper Jen had brought up.  
  
When it was just the three of them left, Maureen spoke. "Marky? Um, are we still on for tonight? To do that, that thing?" Her eyes glanced towards Mimi's room.  
  
"Yes." Mark said slowly.  
  
"What are you guys doing?" Cass asked from behind her paper.  
  
"Um," Mark began, "I'll tell you later."  
  
"Okay." Cass let it drop. If Mark wanted her to know now, he would tell her. If he says he'll tell her later, Cass knew he would. She could wait. 


	30. 30

A/N Special thanks to Sashay and Sandy for keeping up and reviewing for me! I live to hear from you guys! And everyone else that has stuck with me so far! We made it through 30 chapters! Wow! And you all are still reading ! Yeah! I love you guys!  
  
Chapter 30  
  
  
  
"Hey." Mark said as he opened the door to let Maureen in.  
  
"Hey. Are they gone already?"  
  
"Yeah. They went to get something to eat before going to the Iguana. Thanks for coming to help me Mo. I really appreciate it. He really does too. Even if he never says anything to you about it. Which he probably won't."  
  
"I know. Let's just do this okay? Do it and get it over with." She forced a smile for Mark's sake. "How you feeling sweetie?"  
  
"Better some. I can't believe I drank that much last night. I never drink that much." Mark shook his head. "How about you? You were on your way to toasted when you got here. What' s going on Mo?"  
  
They were sitting on the couch. Trying hard to avoid going into Mimi's room.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Liar." Mark grinned. "I've known you too long and too well. What's going on Mo?"  
  
"We, um, well, we had a fight. Again. What did you expect?" She shrugged.  
  
"I figured you had a fight. What about?"  
  
"The usual stuff. Her going to Washington. Me working at the copy shop. Us. Me. Her. Us. I don't know."  
  
"You guys will work it out, you always do."  
  
"I know. I just kinda wish it wasn't like that. You know, the always part. I just wish we didn't fight so much. I just wish we didn't have to work it out so much and I'm just kind of tired of all that. Tired of fighting I guess." She sighed.  
  
Mark didn't know what to say to her so he just reached over and gave her a hug.  
  
"Thanks Marky." She said as she pulled back. "You know I'm glad we're still friends. Really good friends. After the way we started, and the way our relationship went, there was a really big potential for us to not have ended up this way."  
  
"Yeah, really big potential." He grinned.  
  
"Let's just go do this." She stood up with that famous Maureen determination. She held out her hand and pulled Mark off the couch.  
  
"Okay." He said quietly as he got up.  
  
"Come on, we'll do this together." She told him, holding onto his hand with both of her's as she walked them over to the door of the room they always refereed to as Mimi's. Maureen gave his hand a squeeze as she turned the knob and they stepped into the room.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"What's the matter?" Roger asked as he took another bite of his burger.  
  
"Nothing." Cass told him.  
  
"You're not eating."  
  
"Yes I am." She pushed her food around with her fork.  
  
"No you're not, your just playing with it." Roger put his burger down. "Are you mad at me? What did I do now?"  
  
"Nothing." She looked up in surprise. "You didn't do anything. Why would you even think that?"  
  
"Uh, I don't know. I just figured I did something. If your not mad at me, then why aren't you eating your tofu," he made a face, "whatever that thing is."  
  
Cass laughed a little. "It's a tofu scramble with spinach. And it's really very good." She held out a forkful for him.  
  
"I'll pass, but thanks anyway. If it's so good why aren't you eating it?"  
  
"I'm not that hungry. I guess I still don't feel that hot after last night."  
  
"You okay? Do you still want to go tonight? You don't have to you known. If you want to go home I'll take you home. If you don't feel good."  
  
"No, I want to go. I just don't want anything more to drink I think." She smiled at him. "Maybe I'll just stick to ice tea tonight." Cass scratched at her neck.  
  
"Okay, if you're sure. You want to get something else instead?"  
  
"No, just more tea." She grinned at him. God Cass you're grinning like a fourteen year old with a crush.  
  
They finished up their dinner and Roger paid the check. It had cooled down and was a beautiful night out. Roger opened the door and they stepped out. He was carrying his guitar in one hand. He wrapped the other around her waist and pulled her in close. He kissed the top of her head as they started to walk toward the bar. "Last night was really cool." He told her. "Did you have a good time?"  
  
"Yes, it was great. It was neat watching you play. You get so, intense."  
  
"So I've been told." He grinned.  
  
"So did you protect Marky from rats?" She laughed at him.  
  
Roger couldn't help but love her laugh. It was incredible and infectious and it made him feel good when he heard it. Everything about her made him feel good actually. The way she laughs, and talks and moves. Even the way everybody else is when they're around her. Roger didn't mind people then. Everybody else was different then, easier to deal with. Or was it him?  
  
Dah Roge, it's you not them. You're a little more tolerant of people all of a sudden. For years now, the person you tolerated the most was Mark. More accurately the person who tolerated you the most was Mark. Even Mark seemed different all of a sudden. At least different to him.  
  
"Um yeah, we made it out of the basement without any incidents. And we did get the power back on. Well, Mark got the power back on. I held the lighter so he could see. That and of course protected Mark from rats." He gave her a grin. "But you guys seemed to be doing okay in the dark. Thanks to you and your little computer. Not only lights, but music. Very impressive." He teased her.  
  
"Well, it is the computer age you know. I told you I can do about anything with a computer."  
  
"Anything huh?" He gave her a look.  
  
"Well almost anything." Cass could feel her face getting hot and was grateful for the on setting darkness.  
  
"Uh huh." He was grinning at her.  
  
"Um, I need to ask you a question."  
  
"Okay." Roger got serious. What could she possibly need to ask? She sounded serious. Shit. This could be bad. Well Davis, just tell her the truth, no matter what. He took a breath. "Go ahead, ask me anything."  
  
"What you said last night, were you kidding?"  
  
What I said? I said a lot. God, how could she think I was kidding? What, what are we talking about? "What are we talking about? What did I say?"  
  
"To Mark, about protecting him from rats. Were you kidding? There aren't really rats in the basement are there?"  
  
Roger just started laughing. That was it? Rats? I'm worried she's thinking I was kidding yesterday and she's worried about rats. No wonder you've got it so bad for this girl Davis. "No," he was cracking up. "As far as I know there aren't any rats in the basement. I was kidding about that. The only rat that has anything to do with that building would be Benny." He laughed at his own joke. "You're afraid of rats?"  
  
"Well, afraid would be a harsh word. More like well, okay, yes, afraid of rats." She looked up at him and saw he was going to laugh. "It's not funny, I had a really bad experience once."  
  
"With a rat?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How do you have an experience with a rat?" He was laughing.  
  
"I, fine. Nevermind."  
  
He could hear the hurt in her voice and he stopped. "I'm sorry baby, I thought you were kidding around. What happened?"  
  
"I. well there was this old barn, at the vineyard when I was growing up. It had rats, and I," her voice got softer, "I sort of got locked in it once."  
  
"In the barn? And what you saw a rat?"  
  
"No." Tears started to well up in her eyes.  
  
Roger lifted her chin up. "What happened Cass?"  
  
"Anton locked me in the barn. He dumped all this feed that had rat poison in and then locked me in there. All the rats were coming out, eating it, and just freaking out before they died. It was horrible. They were coming out of the field, and they were everywhere and I couldn't get out. And he just stood outside laughing, for over an hour." The tears ran down her face.  
  
Okay, another reason to hate Anton. God help him if ever showed up here Roger thought. He pulled her into a hug. "Baby I'm so sorry." He leaned back and looked at her. He couldn't help it, he kissed her. Hard and long and wantonly.  
  
When they finally broke apart Cass looked up at him. "So you'll protect me from the rats?" She asked in a raspy whisper.  
  
"Baby I'll protect you from everything." He whispered back to her as he hugged her hard.  
  
They walked the rest of the way in silence. Every few steps they would exchange longing glances. When they reached the Iguana they went in. "I'm warning you, it's not much of a place." He led her through the already growing crowd to a stool at the far end of the bar. "I don't see Collins or Jason yet." He waved over the bartender.  
  
"Hey Roger. You want something to drink?"  
  
"No, I'm good. Dave this is Cass. Give her what ever she wants and don't let anybody bother her."  
  
"No problem. You staying for the whole show?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Collins and Jason are supposed to meet her here. See if you can get them one of the tables."  
  
"You got it. I heard you guys had quite a party last night. Izzy was looking a little rough earlier today."  
  
"Yeah, last night was pretty good." Roger looked at Cass and grinned. "All of it. Hey is Krystal here? Maybe she can keep Cass company till Collins gets here."  
  
"Oh she's here all right. And on a major war path, at least with Izzy. What did he do last night?"  
  
Roger shook his head at Cass. "I told you he'd pay for that move." He turned to Dave. "Let's just say Krystal was ready to go and he wasn't."  
  
"Oh he didn't throw cab money at here again?"  
  
"You got it. Then he crashed on our couch." Roger grinned. He turned back to Cass and ran his hand up and down her back as he turned her on the barstool to face him. "I gotta go. You gonna be alright?" She nodded to him. "Okay, tell Dave if you need anything or anybody bothers you. I'll see you in a little bit." He wiggled her fingers on her casted hand and grinned at her as he picked up the guitar and started to back away. Roger took about three steps, before he stepped back towards her and kissed her. When he finally pulled away he just looked at her for a second. "I gotta go." He whispered to her.  
  
Cass grinned at him. "I'll see you later. Go. Play." She laughed at him as she turned back towards Dave.  
  
Roger started to back up again. He knew he had a stupid, cheesy grin on his face. He could hear Dave starting to talk to Cass.  
  
"So, you're the girl that beat up Roger and gave him the black eye?"  
  
"It was a lucky shot." She told him as she glanced over her shoulder at Roger walking away. "Which he leaned into."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Roger set down his guitar on it's stand and hopped off the stage. "Hey guys." He said sitting down at the table with them. "Hey Krystal."  
  
"Where's Izzy?"  
  
"He's still in the back." Roger told her without looking up.  
  
"Uh huh." She got up and walked towards the back without saying anything else.  
  
When she was out of earshot, Roger reached for a glass and the pitcher of beer. "Hiding from you."  
  
They all started laughing. "He's in so much trouble for last night." Jason said. "But on a more positive note, you guys sounded really good. Like everyone for a change, not just you."  
  
"Thanks I guess." Roger laughed. Cass looked at him and he started grinning again. "We've got one more set and then we're done. You guys gonna hang for awhile longer?"  
  
"No we need to take off soon." Collins told him finishing off his beer. "I've got an 8 AM class."  
  
"You're still gonna take Cass home?" He asked as he ran his hand up her thigh under the table.  
  
"Yeah no problem." Jason told him. "Then if the lights are on, we can stop by Jen's and find out how her date was."  
  
"Oh you're just looking to get yourself in trouble aren't you?" Roger laughed at him.  
  
"Uh, Jason? What if the lights are on, we stop, and he's still there?" Collins asked him.  
  
"Hmmm, I didn't think of that."  
  
"I thought not." Collins grinned.  
  
"Point taken. Not up for a suicide mission tonight I guess. But yeah, we can still take Cass home." Jason yawned.  
  
"Okay, thanks guys. We go back on in like five minutes." He looked at Cass. "Come on, you can help me pry Krystal's claws out of Izzy's throat so we can do the last set." He stood up, grabbed Cass' hand and dragged her into the back.  
  
They took about three steps into the back of the bar when Roger stopped, grabbed her and kissed her hungrily. "God I missed you." He told her breathlessly as he started kissing her neck.  
  
"What about Izzy?" She whispered to him.  
  
"Screw Izzy. He's a big boy. Let him fight his own battles." He pulled her in close with both hands.  
  
"Roger." She was fighting with herself to be able to speak. "Roger.I.Roger wait."  
  
He pulled back from her.  
  
"Just, I mean, not here, not yet."  
  
"I'm sorry. God I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry Cass. I just, I mean I've been looking at you for the last two hours and I couldn't touch you, or anything. I missed you I guess. I'm sorry. Please forgive me." He begged her, still holding her tight and running his fingers through her hair.  
  
"I'm not mad, just not ready. For that, well, here I guess." She was holding onto him tightly. "I'm sorry."  
  
"No baby." Roger sat down in a nearby chair and pulled her onto his lap. "It's okay. I'm sorry. I should think more. You okay?" She nodded at him. "Good." He picked up her burnt hand and kissed her fingers. "So you feel any better?"  
  
"A little. I'll be okay. What time will you be home?"  
  
"Maybe two, two and a half hours. But I gotta look at something Mark did tonight when I get home though. So I'll be up for awhile when I get home." He brushed a piece of hair off her face. "Marky's there though. He's got to get up tomorrow and work, but why don't you sleep in there in the A/C. We can sleep in tomorrow."  
  
"Yo Davis, get your tongue out of her throat and let's go." Izzy yelled at him from down the hall.  
  
Roger rolled his eyes. "I gotta talk to him about his timing. It really sucks." They stood up and he kissed her again. Gently, tenderly with passion. "I'll see you later." He whispered as he hugged her tightly once more before he let her go and walked back out to the stage.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Mark started to wake up. Had he heard something? It was still dark out. Must be Roger coming home he thought as he fell back into sleep. He woke up again suddenly as something hit him in the jaw. Mark realized at the last second before he made noise that it was just Cass. She was still sound asleep and must have rolled over and cracked him in the jaw with her cast.  
  
It was still dark out. His watch said it was almost six. Mark sat up. Where was Roger? Hadn't he heard him earlier? Shouldn't he be home by now?  
  
Carefully Mark shifted away from Cass. He didn't want to wake her up. Mark quietly climbed off the bed and opened the bedroom door.  
  
As he stepped out into the living room he saw Roger sitting on the couch, looking at a bunch of stuff he must have taken out of the shoe box next to him. Mark realized it was the shoebox he had found earlier in Mimi's room.  
  
"Hey." He said softly as he walked up behind the couch.  
  
"Hey. Did I wake you up?"  
  
"No." Mark grinned as he rubbed his jaw. "I think I sorta got whacked."  
  
"Yeah she is kinda dangerous with that thing. We'll all be happy when she gets it cut off. It'll be safer."  
  
"You okay?" Mark asked gesturing towards the stuff Roger was looking through.  
  
"Yeah. I guess. I was sort of dreading this, but it's okay I guess." He paused and looked down at the small piles of items in front of him. "I went through the stuff you organized. There really wasn't that much when you folded stuff and stacked it neat and all. Was there?"  
  
"No, not really I guess. I found some of your clothes. Mine too. Left in a bag of clean laundry. I put them on your bed. Mark just watched him for a minute or so. When Roger still hadn't spoken Mark continued. "But no, there really wasn't a lot. She got rid of a lot of stuff. After she got clean and quit her job and all."  
  
"And right before." Roger said in an emotionless voice, without looking up. "Right before she got sick she was getting rid of stuff wasn't she?"  
  
"Yes. I guess she was." Mark told him quietly as he sat down on the couch.  
  
"She knew didn't she?"  
  
"Yeah, I think she did." Mark knew she did. As soon as she found that box earlier tonight. As soon as he saw it, with Roger's name written across it in Mimi's handwriting. Mark knew that Mimi had known her time was coming near. That's why she had put those things in a box. For Roger to find and have later. After. When she was, well, gone.  
  
"Did you put the stuff in the box or did she?" Roger asked him.  
  
"She did." Mark told him, looking at the box. "I opened it to see what was in it, I mean to see if it was shoes, but that's all. I didn't look at any of it. Any of the stuff inside."  
  
"It's okay even if you had. It's some pictures. And a tape I made her, with her song on it. Plus some other stuff. Sentimental girl type stuff. Movie ticket stubs, posters for old gigs, even a matchbook from the Life Café with a note I wrote on it for her. And these." He gestured at two envelopes. The one on top had been opened and had Roger's name on it. The other was still sealed.  
  
"It took me about two hours to work up to opening that." Roger explained as he lit a cigarette. Mark knew this had been hard on him. If for no other reason then by the overflowing ashtray on the milk crate table which Mark had emptied earlier that day.  
  
"I almost totally chicken out and woke you up to make you do it." He took a drag on the cigarette.  
  
"You could of." Mark said meekly.  
  
"No I couldn't." Roger explained. "I mean I know you would have gotten up and all, but I had to do this myself."  
  
Mark nodded at him. He understood completely. Mimi wrote Roger a letter before she died. She put it and some other important stuff together for him. To let him know how much she loved him. Roger was right, it was something he had needed to do himself. And Mark was grateful for that. The last thing he wanted to do, aside from going through Mimi's room, would have been to sit there and read a letter Mimi wrote when she knew she was going to die soon. He would do anything for Roger but he really didn't want to do that.  
  
Roger reached for the envelope and picked up the sealed one on the bottom. "This one's for you." Roger told him as he held out the envelope with Mark's name.  
  
"Me?" Mark squeaked as he reached out for it with a trembling hand. "She wrote me a letter? Why would she do that?"  
  
Roger just stared at him blankly. "Why wouldn't she?" He asked him. "She wrote one to me, why wouldn't she write one to you too?"  
  
"Because she was in love with you." Mark told him. "I was just her boyfriend's best friend and roommate."  
  
"Do you seriously believe that?" Roger asked in astonishment. "I mean you do realize that yeah, while she was in love with me, she still really loved you."  
  
"I guess I never really thought about it that way." Mark said as he turned the envelope over in his hands. "Wow." He just sat there starting at the envelope he held.  
  
"Well yeah, of course she did. We both did, or do or well you know what I mean." Roger said as he put the items back into the shoebox and stood up. He realized Mark was still staring at the unopened envelope. "Marky you okay with all this stuff? I kinda dumped a lot on you I guess. Having you do all that with Mimi's stuff and all."  
  
"No it's okay. I'm just still a little surprised by this I guess." He held up the envelope. "But about Mimi's stuff. Did you, are you, um." He couldn't figure out what to say next.  
  
"Yeah, go ahead and do whatever you need to do with it. I'm okay. I got what I wanted. Besides with all the stuff Cass ordered the other day, she's gonna need some space soon. And you're probably ready to have your room back."  
  
"No it's okay. With the exception of getting whacked every time she moves." Mark sort of grinned.  
  
"Maybe, um, maybe when you get Mimi's room cleaned out, maybe we should move your office stuff in there. That way, that way you'd have more room." And I won't have to walk in there Roger thought.  
  
Mark looked at him for a second. He had a feeling there was more to that than Roger suddenly wanting to make sure Mark had enough work space. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. We can do that."  
  
"Okay." Roger looked at his watch. "It's after six already. I gotta get some sleep. You shooting today?"  
  
"Uh huh. I might as well stay up now. I was getting up at 6:45 anyway." Mark flipped the envelope over again.  
  
"Um Marky?"  
  
Mark looked up at him.  
  
"Um, I gotta take Cass to see Elizabeth again tonight at well, at her office. Do you wanna come with me? To, a, wait with me, while she's talking to her?"  
  
"Yeah Roge, I can do that. I'd like to do that. To go with you." Mark smiled.  
  
"Okay. I'll see you later then. Goodnight." Roger punched Mark in the arm.  
  
"Yeah, night."  
  
Roger went into the bedroom and took off his jeans. He climbed into the bed in his boxers and tee shirt. Cass rolled over when she felt the movement on the bed.  
  
"Hey. You're home? What time is it?"  
  
"It's really late." He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. "Or really early. Go back to sleep." He told her as he kissed her on the neck a few times.  
  
"Okay." She said sleepily as she snuggled in closer to him.  
  
Roger silently laughed at her as he realized she was never really awake in the first place. He kissed her on the neck again as he played with her hair as he fell asleep as well. 


	31. 31

Chapter 31  
  
  
  
Cass opened the bedroom door and stepped into the room. Roger was lying on his side with a pillow over his head. She sat down next to him on the bed and watched him sleep for a few minutes. So much had happened in the last week. So much good came from so much bad.  
  
"Roger." She shook his arm. "Roger wake up."  
  
"What?" He grumbled at her.  
  
"It's ten o'clock. Here." She handed him the pills.  
  
"Thanks." He told her with half closed eyes as he sat up and swallowed his pills.  
  
"Go back to sleep." She told him as she kissed his forehead.  
  
Roger grabbed her around the waist and tried to pull her down with him.  
  
"Roger I've got to get up."  
  
"No, lay down with me. Please." He whined as he started kissing her neck.  
  
"Okay, just for a few minutes." She told him as she started to kiss him back. "Just a. few.. minutes." She told him, kissing him back.  
  
After a few minutes Roger broke apart from her. He stopped. He had to stop. Before things went too far. Got out of hand. Before he did something stupid. Like usual.  
  
They just lay there for a few minutes. He kept running his fingers up and down her arm. "You should go back to sleep." She told him as she ran her fingers through his blond tipped hair.  
  
"Yeah, I'm still pretty tired." He told her as he rolled over and rested his head on her chest.  
  
"What time did you come to bed last night?"  
  
"I didn't. It was this morning, after six."  
  
"What were you doing at the Iguana till then?" She asked, still playing with his hair.  
  
Roger took a deep breath. He needed to tell her. She needed to know where he stood on this as much as he did. "I wasn't at the Iguana. I was here. Mark cleaned out Mimi's room. I was going through some things and looking at stuff, before Mark gets rid of it all."  
  
"Oh." She kept stroking his hair, never stopping. "Are you okay?" She asked him tenderly.  
  
"Yeah. It was time to do it."  
  
"If you say so."  
  
"Mark and I thought we would move his office into Mimi's room. Then he would have more room for work. And we could put your stuff in where his office is now. It that okay?"  
  
"Whatever you guys want to do."  
  
"Thanks Cass." He told her.  
  
"Go back to sleep. I've got to go do some work." She kissed him on the forehead and got up from the bed.  
  
"'Kay." He told her as she got up. God she was incredible. Even at the mention of Mimi's name. It doesn't phase her. She never flinched. He flinches still. So does Mark. So does Maureen and everyone else, but not Cass. She never pushed the subject farther than Roger wanted to go. He figured she had no idea how much that meant to him. That was what he was thinking as he fell back asleep.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
"Quick Print and Copy. How can I help you?"  
  
"Um, is Maureen there?" Mark asked. He did have to admit having a cell phone was more convenient than trying to come up with change for a pay phone. "This is Mark."  
  
"One second." Mark heard the phone move some as the person called to her. "'Reen, it's Mark."  
  
"Hey sweetie. What's up?" Maureen asked him.  
  
"Hopefully, lunch. I need another favor."  
  
"You're starting to rack those up." She joked at him. "Why are we checking up on them today? What did Roger do?"  
  
"No, it's not them."  
  
Maureen stopped joking when she heard the seriousness in his voice. "Okay, no problem. Whatever you need. I've got lunch at 1:30 today."  
  
"Good. You want chocolate again?"  
  
"Um sure. Marky are you okay? Is something wrong? You don't sound right?"  
  
"Yeah I'm okay. It's more of a moral support thing than a favor I guess."  
  
Moral support? Why would Mark need that? Maureen was confused and concerned. This was Mark. He was everyone else's moral support. And why wouldn't he go to Roger for this? "Sweetie is something wrong with Roger? Or Cass? Is everything okay?"  
  
"Yeah, their fine. It doesn't have anything to do with them."  
  
"Marky you're starting to scare me. Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah Mo, I'm fine. It's not them, or me." Mark touched the envelope in his pocket. "It's about Mimi. I'll tell you when I get there. Bye." Mark hung up the phone.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
  
  
Roger pulled the pillow off his face and sat up. He knew he wasn't going to get back to sleep so he might as well get up. He could her Cass talking to someone. He opened the door and watched her.  
  
She was on her cell phone. She could have been in a boardroom somewhere the way she acted. All business. Straight and to the point. She moved different. She sounded different. It didn't even matter that she was barefoot in his tee shirt and boxers.  
  
"Get all the stats and send me the info. I want you to pull the blue prints as well. Have the engineer go through them. He may need to do a pre inspection as well." She had this voice of authority as she paced around the living room, which to Roger just made her seem even hotter.  
  
"No, don't worry about that. No, I told you I'd take care of that. I don't want anyone asking questions around the property. Not yet." She had a cigarette out and was trying to light it with her casted arm and hand.  
  
Roger walked in and sat down at the counter. He took the matchbook and cigarette out of her hands. He lit one for her and one for himself and just kept watching her.  
  
"I know that." She said into the phone as he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her over to him between his knees. Cass grinned at him. "I have someone working on that. I don't believe that it will pose too much of a problem."  
  
Roger ran his hands up and down her lower back and smirked at her as he pulled her onto his lap. Cass wrapped an arm around his neck as she flicked her ash into an ashtray. "I am very well aware of your opinion at this moment Mr. Spencer. Please remember when I would like your opinion, I will ask you for it and currently, I did not ask you for it."  
  
"Oh. Get mean and bitchy. I love it." Roger whispered to her as he started to kiss her below her neck.  
  
Cass had to work to keep her composure. She was laughing at him and playing with his hair again. Cass winked at him as if to say well them listen to this. "I do believe, Mr. Spencer that is what I pay you to do. Now you can either do your job and what I am asking, or I can find someone else to take my money. Do we have an understanding Mr. Spencer? Good, I'm very glad to hear that. And Mr. Spencer ask around, you will find out I never joke when I am talking business. Good day Mr. Spencer. I'll be looking for your information." With that she hung up the phone and started to laugh.  
  
"Oh baby! Way to drive me crazy. Threatening to fire people while wearing my underwear. I love it!" He pulled her forward and started kissing her down her neck.  
  
"Roger you're nuts!"  
  
"Uh huh." He grinned at her. "You're right."  
  
"Let me go you wacko!" She told him, climbing off his lap. "Do you want something to eat?"  
  
"Are you cooking?" He asked cautiously.  
  
"Uh huh. You have your choice of Captain Crunch or Frosted Flakes. I'll have to talk to Mark about his overly healthy shopping."  
  
Roger leaned over the counter and reached for the Captain Crunch as Cass got him a bowl and milk. "Mark will tell you to go to the store yourself if you don't like it." Roger laughed. "It's his version of reclusive behavior tough love."  
  
"Got it." She grinned. "You want some coffee?"  
  
He nodded as she poured them both coffees.  
  
"I called an electrician. He should come by on Friday. The cable guy comes on Wednesday."  
  
"You know Benny will never pay for an electrician. Even telling him one is coming may not be such a great idea." Roger told her with some concern.  
  
"Don't worry about Benny. We won't even mention it to him. None the less, I can't do any work until I can get my systems up and running. And I can't do that until we get an electrician out here. Besides, what's the fun of having toys if every time you go to use them the power blows?"  
  
"What do you mean by toys?" He asked her suspiciously.  
  
"You'll see. Did you get enough sleep?"  
  
"Uh huh. What time do you have to meet Elizabeth?"  
  
Her eyes dropped to her coffee. "At eight."  
  
"Cass you okay with that? With Elizabeth?" Shit what do I do if she says no? She's got to go he thought.  
  
"Yes, it's okay. It's a good idea I guess."  
  
"Good. What else do you have to do today? Do I get to watch you fire anybody else this morning?" He raised his eyebrows up a few times on that statement.  
  
"No." She said coming around the counter and moving to right in front of him. Cass moved in close as he wrapped his arms around her. She held onto his neck as she learned in towards him and in a sultry whisper into his ear told him "I don't have to fire anyone else. But you know what we could do?" She asked him as she walked her fingers up his chest.  
  
"What?" He asked her, wondering how he even got the word out.  
  
"Well, we could get out of these clothes."  
  
"Uh huh?"  
  
"And go do laundry." She laughed as she hopped off his lap she had almost been sitting on.  
  
"Oh you are such a tease!" He told her as he smacked her on the ass as she moved away.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
"I'm on lunch." Maureen announced to the Quick Print counter staff as she saw Mark walk in the door. She opened the swinging gate at the counter to let him in the back. He followed her to the break room.  
  
"Marky what's gong on? Is Roger upset about last night? I thought he wanted us to do that?" She sat down across from him at the table.  
  
"No, actually he was fine. Really fine. He looked through everything last night when he got home. I found him on the couch looking at stuff at six this morning."  
  
"But he was okay?'  
  
"Yeah, he was. Remember that shoe box, the one with his name on it?" Maureen nodded. "Well, it had some stuff she must have put in there for him."  
  
"Wow."  
  
"And a letter for him."  
  
"What did it say?"  
  
"I don't know, I didn't ask him and he didn't tell me." Mark reached in his pocket. "She wrote one to me too." He told her as he laid the still unopened letter on the table.  
  
"You haven't read it yet?" Maureen asked as she took Mark's hand.  
  
"No. I was surprised she even wrote it to me. I just, I want to read it, I just didn't want to do it alone. You know? And I couldn't do it with Roger there." Maureen just kept silently nodding as he spoke. "And well, it didn't feel right to ask Cass, for well obvious reasons. So I thought of you."  
  
"Oh. Okay. You want to read it now? I'll sit here with you. I won't even ask any questions. I promise."  
  
"Yeah. Maybe I just want to do it and get it over with." Slowly Mark opened the envelope. He took a deep breath as he pulled out the one piece of folded paper. It was Mimi's big loopy handwriting. Even Maureen could tell that from the other side of the table. He laid it down on the table and reached for Maureen's hand as he read it silently to himself.  
  
Dear Mark,  
  
If you're reading this, then it's all over. No more pills, no more hospitals, no more problems. But also no more Roger. And no more you. Roger's not real good at expressing emotion. Suppressing is more his style. Unless it's in his music, then it comes out. And I don't see him writing you any songs anytime soon. So it's up to me I guess.  
  
I wanted to make sure you knew how special you are Marky. And how special you are to Roger. And to me. We both got so wrapped up in each other that we would sometimes forget about you, and I apologize for that. I know you sometimes felt funny around us too, like a third wheel and I apologize for that too. Please know you never were. We always wanted you there.  
  
Mark I just wanted to thank you. For everything. Everything you did for Roger before, because without you, I never would have had him. I know that's true. For everything you did for me. And everything you did for us. Neither of us deserves you. Roger had said that more than once.  
  
I guess I just wanted to make sure you knew that. That and the fact that Roger and I love you. Roger loves you. And I love you. There is nothing either of us could want more than for you to be happy.  
  
I know it won't be easy for Roger when I'm gone. Which means it won't be easy for you, because I know you'll take on, once again, the burden and responsibility that is Roger. Please love him (I know you will) and do what you can for him, but Marky, please don't let him or us become your life.  
  
Please just be happy. Know that you're a wonderful, special person who is loved by a lot of people. But especially by Roger. And especially by me.  
  
Remember all the good stuff we had. Forget our bad days. And keep going, because there is no day but today.  
  
Love you Mark. And my life, and Roger's life and the world is a better place because of you.  
  
Love,  
  
Mimi  
  
Mark let go of Maureen's hand so he could take off his glasses and wipe the tears that were running down his cheeks. He folded up the letter an returned it to it's envelope.  
  
Maureen watched in silence as Mark put it back in his pocket. "You okay Marky?" She asked softly.  
  
"Yeah, actually I think I am." He almost felt like he had a new found inner strength. "She was really special wasn't she?"  
  
"She sure was. But so are you Mark."  
  
"Yeah, I guess so." He told her, patting his pocket the envelope was in.  
  
Maureen didn't ask what the letter said. She knew Mimi. She had a pretty good idea what it said. Hopefully, she as right. Hopefully, Mark would start to see it as well.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"Roger." Cass called to him from the couch. "Roger, somebody's at the door. It's probably the UPS guy."  
  
"I'm going." He said setting his guitar down on the bed. He looked at her as he walked out of his bedroom. Why didn't she get the door? Especially if she knew who it was? Come to think of it, she was always telling them to get the door. Even when she was closest. Had she answered it at all in the week she was here? Didn't Jason say something about her freaking out some when he came over and walked in that day? Maybe he ought to tell Elizabeth all this. Maybe, maybe he ought to open the door he thought as the knocking brought him out of his thoughts. He opened the door to find not one, but two UPS guys with full dolly's.  
  
"Yeah, I've got a delivery for CD&S." The UPS guy said. " A Mark Cohen. Is this the right address? I was expecting a business."  
  
"This is it." Cass called from the couch. "Just put it there, against the wall." She pointed by Roger's bedroom door. "No chance you all have an elevator hidden away in this building I guess." He joked at Roger while the second guy went down stairs for the rest. In case I ever have to come back here."  
  
"Um no, I mean yeah there is a freight elevator, but it's boarded over. Cass what is all this?"  
  
"Oh you'll be back, I'm sure. There really is an elevator? I didn't know that."  
  
"I had a feeling. It's always the places with no elevators on the top floor that seem to get the most deliveries." He held out the electronic clipboard for Roger to sign for the delivery.  
  
"Oh, um, sorry." Roger told him as he signed his name. He closed the door after they brought in the rest. "Cass what is all this stuff?"  
  
"Well, it's not my computer stuff, but oh well, I can't do anything until the electrician gets here anyway. We probably can't use any of this until then either thought." She got up off the couch and walked to the stack of stuff.  
  
"But what is it?" Roger asked her again.  
  
"Well, some of it is toys I guess."  
  
"You bought all this stuff? For here? Are you crazy?"  
  
"No, and don't worry about it. I was going to get an apartment when I left Italy anyway. I would have bought it all then anyway. So don't go getting all weird on me about spending money."  
  
"Okay. If you say so." He wrapped his arms around her waist. "So what did you by Ms. Trump?"  
  
"Don't be sarcastic. And I just got some basic stuff. Like a microwave and coffeemaker so we don't have to use Jen's anymore. And a vacuum cleaner."  
  
"For what?" He joked. "No seriously, what else?"  
  
"All right. A TV, VCR, DVD player, another air conditioner and a small stereo. Like I said, a few basics and a few toys." She shrugged.  
  
Roger could tell she was sort of embarrassed. She had spent more money in the last week between shopping and that retainer check to Joanne, then he and Mark had seen in a year. "Got it, basics. And toys. What no CD burner?" He kidded her.  
  
"Um, that's part of the computer stuff. It should be here by tomorrow." Her eyes were down at his chest. "Are you mad?"  
  
Roger laughed at her. "No I'm not mad. It's your money, do whatever you want. Just remember you don't have to spend it on me and Mark okay?"  
  
She nodded at him. "I know." She hugged him. "It's just, I thought it would be nice to have some of that stuff. It would be nice for you guys to have some stuff. Decent stuff. Instead of hand me down, decrepit A/C's and borrowed coffee makers."  
  
"What ever you want Cass." He laughed softly.  
  
"Okay, then you know what I want to do?"  
  
"I'm almost afraid to ask." He laughed again. "What?"  
  
"To have you take me to go do laundry!" She told him with a grin as she pulled him towards the bedroom.  
  
"Does that qualify as me taking you on a date?" He grinned as he followed her into the room. "Because if it does, that I can even afford."  
  
"Let's go Davis. Start sorting clothes." She laughed as well.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
"Hello?" Roger laughed into the blue cell phone. He was sitting out the bench outside the laundry mat, smoking a cigarette with Cass on his lap.  
  
"Where are you guys?"  
  
"We're at the laundry mat." Roger said into the phone.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have the wrong number." Mark laughed. "I'm looking for Roger Davis."  
  
"It's Mark. He's trying to be funny again, but it's not working." He told Cass before turning his attention back to the phone. "What do you want smartass?"  
  
"What are you guys doing?"  
  
"We're at the laundry mat dork, what do you think we're doing? Laundry." Roger rolled his eyes at Cass who was cracking up on his lap.  
  
"Seriously? Roger Davis does laundry? I didn't know that was possible." Mark was cracking up by now. "First beat up by a girl, now doing laundry. Yep there goes that bad boy image."  
  
"Again I'll ask, what do you want smartass?"  
  
"What time does she have to see Elizabeth tonight?"  
  
"Eight o'clock."  
  
"Ask him if he wants to eat first." Cass told Roger.  
  
"Cass wants to know if you want to eat first?"  
  
"Is she planning on cooking?" Mark asked.  
  
Roger grinned as he looked at Cass. "He wants to know if you're cooking?"  
  
"Hey!" She whacked him in the shoulder with her cast.  
  
"Ow! I didn't say it, Mark did. But now that he brought it up, you weren't planing on cooking were you?" Roger teased her.  
  
"Oh please!" She stood up crushing out her cigarette. "I'm going to check on the clothes." She walked back into the laundry mat.  
  
"Well, at least we're both in trouble together this time." Roger laughed.  
  
"Great, just what I need." Mark told him. "Um, what's with all the stuff here? The TV, VCR and everything? She buy all that?"  
  
"Yeah, she did."  
  
"Why'd she go and do all that?" Mark whined into the phone.  
  
"I know, I told her. You know she's not going to listen. She's gonna do what she wants. Pick your battles buddy, this one ain't worth it."  
  
"Yeah I guess you're right."  
  
"So you cooking Marky?"  
  
"Well I don't want her doing it. You either for that matter." Mark laughed. "So I guess I'm cooking. I'll see you later."  
  
"Yeah, bye." Roger hung up the phone. He stood up to go back inside the laundry mat. He could see Cass inside pulling clothes out of the dryer and folding them. She looked up and saw him just then. When she saw him looking at her she stuck out her tongue at him before breaking into a huge grin at him. Roger couldn't help but laugh at her. 


	32. 32

"Roger wake up." Cass pushed at him with her cast. "Turn your watch off."  
  
"Sorry." He hit his alarm on his watch.  
  
"How do you sleep through that thing?"  
  
"I don't. I just don't always move all that quick when it goes off."  
  
"I see." She told him as she rolled over and snuggled up next to him. "How was work? Were you busy last night?"  
  
"Not real busy. I only made $150. But school just started. Izzy said we need to wait another week or so till classes get going. Then they start hitting the bars harder. Tuesday nights are usually slower anyway. Thursday will be a better nights. Always is."  
  
"So you play tonight or bartend?"  
  
"Band plays tonight. So I'll be home earlier than last night." He was twisting her hair around his finger.  
  
"Hey are you guys awake," Mark said as he pounded on their door.  
  
"Yeah come on in Mark." Roger yelled to him.  
  
Mark opened the door to Roger's room. "Here." He threw the pill bottle at Roger. "And so you know the cable guy is here. He needs to know where you want the modem hook up or something Cass."  
  
"Okay, okay I'm coming." She told him as she sat up in the bed for a second before letting out a low moan and lying back down.  
  
"You okay Cass? You don't look so good." Mark asked worriedly.  
  
"Yes." She said slowly. "My head is just killing me is all. I'll be okay." Cass dragged herself out of the bed and went to the counter and sat down.  
  
"You want some coffee Cass?" She nodded and Roger poured her a cup and fixed it. "Here. You want something to eat? You want some toast?" Without waiting for a reply he dropped two pieces of bread into the toaster.  
  
"God, I'm so tired. Where are my cigarettes?" She laid her head back down on the counter as Roger went back into the bedroom looking for cigarettes. While she was sitting there the cable guy knocked on the door. "Mark, somebody's at the door." She called to him.  
  
"I got it." Roger said as he lit two cigarettes and handed one to Cass. He opened the door and let the cable guy in.  
  
"Hey how you doing? Um, I've got your line run to the building, but because you guys were never cable ready, I'll have to send a different crew out to run it in the walls and all. So you know, that costs more." He told them apologetically.  
  
"Don't worry about that right now. Just run the lines. We'll have them capped on the walls instead of run inside them."  
  
"Okay, I can do that, but it's not all that pretty."  
  
"Look around you, does pretty seem overly important at the moment?" She laid her head back down on her arms as Roger put the plate of toast in front of her. "Let's just go for functional. Okay?"  
  
"Are you sure?" He looked from Cass to Roger.  
  
"If that's what she says, that's what she wants." Roger told him.  
  
"Alright. Where do you want the cable modem installed?"  
  
"How about in that corner? Is that okay Roger? If I put the desk and computer stuff over there?"  
  
"Whatever you want Cass. That's fine."  
  
"Okay put a cable hook up in each bedroom, the living room and Mark's office. Wait you guy might move that. Just put one in all four rooms and the living room with the modem in the corner."  
  
The cable guy was about to ask her something else but he looked at Roger first who shook his head. "Um, yeah sure." He set to work getting everything hooked up.  
  
Mark came back out and walked over to the counter and sat down next to Cass. "You don't look so hot Cass." Mark put his hand on her forehead. "She doesn't have a fever." He said to Roger who was still standing in the kitchen watching her as she smoked.  
  
"I'm okay I just have a migraine. Will you make me another cup of coffee?" She handed Roger her cup.  
  
"Why don't you eat something." Roger told her.  
  
"Ewww. No. I just want some more coffee." She started scratching at her neck.  
  
"Why don't you go back to bed Cass?" Roger asked her.  
  
"I can't. I've got too much to do." She laid her head back down on her arms.  
  
"Like what?" Roger asked her.  
  
"I have got to get that stuff set up. I'll never get caught up if I don't start working soon. Mark, scratch my back. I'm gonna be swamped for the next three weeks. I need to put that desk together, set up all the computer equipment, load up the systems, and log into the main frame. God, how did I get so far behind? Where's the Tylenol?"  
  
"Here." Roger gave her two Tylenol's, which she took with her coffee. "Now go back to bed. At least for awhile."  
  
"I can't. I don't have time."  
  
"It doesn't matter. First of all you can't put that desk together anyway. Not with a broken arm. Not by yourself. And we're not helping you. Not right now. Besides, you said you can't hook anything up till the electrician comes out so you aren't blowing fuses every five minutes."  
  
"But I don't have time."  
  
"Give it up Cass. He's the only person I know more stubborn than you." Mark told her.  
  
"Go lay down and we'll put the computer desk together for you." Roger pulled her off the barstool. "And what are you scratching at?"  
  
"I don't know, something must have bit me." She stood up wit her coffee and followed him back into the bedroom. Roger came back out about ten minutes later and sat down next to Mark on the couch.  
  
"She okay?"  
  
"I guess. She says she just feels like crap. Let her sleep awhile, it will go away. She said she's just got a killer migraine."  
  
"Just don't let her get you sick."  
  
"I'll be fine."  
  
"Is she doing okay Roger?"  
  
"You mean as far as all that other stuff? Yeah, I guess. She doesn't seem to mind going to see Elizabeth. And she's relaxed a lot since she first got here. She's still got a way to go though."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, like last night, when I got home, she was sitting on the couch watching TV. Trying real hard to stay awake."  
  
"So?"  
  
"I don't know. I mean she was so tired I asked her why she didn't just go to bed. She said she was waiting for me. She didn't want to bother you last night so she waited up for me."  
  
"For what?" Mark was confused.  
  
"I don't know. To go to sleep I guess. I mean think about it, has she gone to sleep by herself since she got here. Even just now, she made me lay down with her till she fell asleep."  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right."  
  
"And another thing," Roger continued, "have you seen her answer the door once? Even when she's right there by it? I mean yeah, this morning she doesn't feel good, but any other time? She yells to one of us that somebody's at the door."  
  
"You know, now that I think about it, you're right. But that day, when she got all up set, when her father was here, didn't she just keep saying something about opening the door?"  
  
"Yeah she did." Roger's eyes went down to his coffee. "That's kinda what happened you know. She thought it was Giavanna that night, at the door, but it wasn't."  
  
"Oh." Mark didn't know what else to say. He wasn't sure he wanted to know anymore. "Maybe, maybe we should tell Elizabeth that stuff."  
  
"Yeah, I was thinking that." Roger sat there for a moment and played with his coffee cup. "She um, Elizabeth, wants me to go with her next Monday."  
  
"You always go with her."  
  
"No, to see Elizabeth, like while they are talking and stuff. Like sit in there with her."  
  
"Oh. Are you okay with that?"  
  
"I guess. I mean she already told me what happened, which is part of the reason Elizabeth wants me to go I think."  
  
"I don't think I want to know." Mark said softly. He couldn't look at Roger.  
  
"No, you don't want to know." Roger told him.  
  
"Well then it makes sense why Elizabeth wants you there."  
  
"Yeah, but that wasn't what Elizabeth said to me."  
  
"What do you mean?" Mark looked up at him.  
  
"What she said was because I was her boyfriend she wanted me to come with her."  
  
"Oh," Mark grinned, "is that all."  
  
"What do you mean 'is that all'? Don't you think that's kinda, extreme?"  
  
Mark laughed at him and the more he laughed, the more upset and confused Roger seemed to get.  
  
"What is so damn funny Mark?"  
  
"Okay, okay. How can I put this without you wanting to beat my skull in?"  
  
"You're running a bigger risk by giving me a hard time Cohen."  
  
"Um, right. Kay let's just say, hypothetically of course, that perhaps you're a bit, well, commitment phobic."  
  
"What? You're crazy! You don't know what you're talking about Mark!" Roger was getting defensive.  
  
"I don't huh? How about the first two years with Mimi? Or the first year and a half with April? Then there was the string of groupies, all of which would disappear as soon as they started talking anything, more than super casual. And before that was Amy, Lauren, Crissy and Nickie in high school. You do remember the huge scene and catfight at the homecoming dance between Crissy and Lauren cause both of them thought they were dating you. And all of it stems back to your problem of just committing. Plain and simple."  
  
Roger just glared at him.  
  
"Believe what you want, but as favor to me, let me take my glasses off before you hit me."  
  
"Do you really think that?"  
  
"Well, yes. I mean for somebody who has a self proclaimed and extremely wide jealous streak, a lot of your problems would be solved if you didn't have so many commitment issues."  
  
"What makes you think you have any clue as to what you're talking about Mark?"  
  
"How about the fact that I've had the same conversation with like everyone of your girlfriends, or whatever you want to call them, since like tenth grade!"  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
"Yes seriously. They just never sort of knew where they stood I guess, so they were always asking me. Like I had some clue as to what was going on in your brain or something."  
  
"Can we just get back to Cass please?"  
  
"Okay, what about Cass then?" Mark asked him.  
  
"Well, I mean, what would you call it?"  
  
"Honestly," Mark looked at him. "The same thing Elizabeth called it. What would you call it?"  
  
"Um, I, I don't know. I guess."  
  
"Well, maybe you ought to figure it out." Mark got real serious on him. "Before somebody else gets hurt. Because the somebody in question this time has been through enough crap. And isn't just some 19 year old band groupie. And this one happens to be a real good friend of mine, kinda like you dork. And I kinda think the two of you might actually be good for each other. Provided neither of you decide to do your usual shit and sabotage your own relationship."  
  
"Are you done?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess I am." Mark realized he had been preaching at him. "Look, I know you, and how you are. Both of you. And I just don't want to see either of you screw something up. Something you'll both regret later on. You understand?"  
  
"Yeah." Roger told him slowly. "I understand." He paused. "Fuck!"  
  
"What?" Mark flinched as Roger yelled.  
  
"I hate it when there is even the slightest inkling of a possibility you may have some clue as to what the fuck you're talking about."  
  
Mark grinned, but turned away so Roger wouldn't see his face. "As usual, thank you so much for appreciating my brilliance."  
  
Normally a conversation like this would have completely rubbed Roger the wrong way. He would have flung down his coffee cup and stormed out of the room. But for some reason this time he didn't. What the hell is wrong with me he thought. My brain is totally whacked. How the hell does Mark do this to me? Damn it Mark. Roger looked at him. Somehow he couldn't be mad at him. Somehow, Roger kind of knew he was right. "Oh shut up and come help me put this desk together." He told Mark as he stood up and walked over to the large box on the floor. Mark was still turned away from him with his head down. Damn you Mark. "And get hat stupid ass grin of your face too!"  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
After a fair amount of difficulty, they got the desk and chair put together. The cable guy finished up all the hook ups and capped the wires. Roger got the new TV out of it's box while mark hooked up the DVD and VCR that had been deliver earlier in the week.  
  
"Damn." Mark said shaking his head back and forth.  
  
"What?" Roger asked as he flipped through channels on the remote, trying to figure out how to work the picture in picture feature.  
  
"I really hate that she bought all this stuff."  
  
"Yeah, I know what you mean. I told her not to do it."  
  
"Yeah well," Mark got a small grin on his face. "I hate that she did it, but God, that TV looks good in here."  
  
"Yeah, I know what you mean." Roger laughed. "Real cable, no snow, no fuzz and look at this," Roger started flipping channels, "not only all the HBO's, but Cinemax! Which just so you know Marky, is only a step or so down from the porn channel."  
  
"Yeah?" Mark asked. "Really? Cool. Porn and Independent Film Channel. Not to mention now we can actually rent videos and DVD's and watch them here. Instead of sneaking into Jen's place while she' at work and using her VCR."  
  
"Um, Mark, you may want to remember to not broadcast that last part, you know, about Jen's."  
  
"Oh, good point."  
  
"Okay, I'll flip you for who get to put the old TV in their room. You want heads or tails?" Roger asked as he took a quarter out of his pocket.  
  
"Un uh."  
  
"What?''  
  
"No. I get the TV." Mark told him, surprised at his own boldness.  
  
"Why do you get the TV?"  
  
"Well, because." Mark looked at him and knew that wouldn't cut it with Roger. "Because, well, why do you want a TV in your room?" He asked Roger with the slightest of grins or his face.  
  
"So I can watch it?" Roger just looked at him.  
  
"So I can watch it where?"  
  
"In bed?" Roger was confused.  
  
"So you want to lay in bed and watch TV?"  
  
"Yeah Mark, seems like a plan."  
  
"Okay," Mark told him. "If all you want to do is lay in bed and watch TV, but aren't you forgetting something?"  
  
"What?" Roger was starting to loose patience in this.  
  
"What about your," Mark paused to drive the point home from their previous conversation as he turned toward Roger's bedroom door, "girlfriend?"  
  
"What are you talking about Mark?"  
  
"All I'm saying is, you need to consider your girlfriend." He stressed the word. "If it was me, and she was my girlfriend, sleeping in there with me, I'd be more inclined to give up the TV. Especially considering my best friend and roommate is sleeping alone in the other room. But hey, she's your girlfriend." Mark got a cockeyed grin on his face.  
  
"You're an ass you know that?" Roger laughed. "Fine, take the TV. You know, my life would be easier if I just found you a date. Or got you laid." He grinned at Mark. "Yeah, take the TV, you need the Cinemax movies way more than I do Marky."  
  
"Oh thank you very much."  
  
"No really, you're right. I don't need a TV, because I've got," Roger paused and looked to make sure his bedroom door was still closed before looking Mark straight in the eye, "my girlfriend." Roger smirked at him as he picked up the TV and took it into Mark's room. 


	33. 33

A/N Thanks for all the reviews. And to Sandy and everybody else that is worried about poor Marky. I have plans for him. Plans beyond Skinamax! Marky is going to get some action soon!  
  
Chapter 33  
  
  
  
Roger quietly opened the loft door and walked in with his guitar. He was hoping Cass would have gone to bed, but she was on the couch, asleep, with her laptop on her legs. Mark was asleep in the chair. He had a feeling, after their conversation earlier, that Mark was sitting up with her because she wouldn't go to bed by herself. Oh well, he'll ask Mark about it tomorrow.  
  
Roger shook Mark's shoulder. "Hey, Marky. Wake up."  
  
"What time is it?" Mark asked as he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.  
  
"Almost two. Go to bed." Roger turned of the TV. "Cass wake up." He shook her gently.  
  
"Hey you're home." She gave him a sleepy smile.  
  
"Yeah, I'm home." He laughed. She always cracked him up when she was half- asleep. "Why didn't you guys go to bed?"  
  
" I was working on something." She told him.  
  
"Yeah," Mark said giving Roger a look as he shook his head. "She was working on something."  
  
"Come on lets go to bed." He pulled her up off the couch. "I gotta take a shower first, I smell like the bar." Roger walked Cass over to their room and kissed her before going to take a shower.  
  
"Cass you still awake?" He softly asked as he climbed in bed.  
  
"Uh huh." She tried to sound convincing. "How was work?"  
  
"Lonely." He told her as he pulled her almost on top of him.  
  
She smiled at him and started to play with his hair, which was still wet from the shower.  
  
"Do you feel better?" He asked her as he ran his finger down her back.  
  
"Yes. Much better. I just had such a horrible headache it was making me nauseous."  
  
"Did you ever eat anything? You still hadn't eaten when I left. I don't want you getting sick on me."  
  
"Yes, I ate some toast. And an apple."  
  
"That's not very much Cass." Roger's mind briefly went back to the days before she got there, that whole week and a half ago. Back to the days when there was no such thing as a refrigerator full of food or money to buy any. Roger knew toast and an apple were not a lot of food. "You want anything? I'll get you something. What do you want?"  
  
Cass looked at him for a second and got a crooked grin. "Yes, you know what I want?"  
  
Roger sat up and started to move to get out of bed. "What?"  
  
"Breakfast, in about eight or nine hours."  
  
"Smartass!" He grabbed her and tickled her for a second. "And here I was ready to go cook you something."  
  
"How chivalrous of you Mr. Davis."  
  
"Yeah well, like I said I don't want you getting sick on me, I don't think I can take it. Way to stressful. And annoying."  
  
"Oh, thanks for the warning Mr. Concern and Compassion." She jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. "What exactly is so stressful and annoying?"  
  
"In a word, Mark." Roger laughed. "Trust me he'll drive you crazy if you get sick."  
  
"Please, the Boston tea party didn't involve as much tea as that boy tried to force on me tonight." Cass laughed.  
  
"Do that again." He told her with a funny look on his face.  
  
"Do what?" She laughed again at the strange request.  
  
"Laugh like that. I like it." He realized he really did like it. It sounded good. It sounded right to Roger. More than that, it felt right to him. All of it did. Her, being here, with him, talking, laughing, all of it. It just felt right to him. And he liked it. Roger really, really liked it.  
  
"You're very strange Roger Davis."  
  
"I know, and damn proud of that fact too!"  
  
"Hey everybody needs a goal I guess." She giggled again.  
  
He smiled at the sound of it. 'Yeah? What's your goal Cassiopeia bunch of other stuff Sullivan?"  
  
"Don't play the middle name game with me unless you know what you're doing Roger Jackson Davis." She smirked at him.  
  
"Hey how did you know that?" He was a little amazed.  
  
"I have my sources, and it wasn't Mark either. Well not exactly." He just looked at her for a second before she continued. "Okay, Joanne needed to know so she could have stuff ready for tomorrow."  
  
"Joanne? For what? What's tomorrow?"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry baby we forgot to tell you. She called, after you left. She needs to see you, both of you. We need to meet her at ten thirty. At her office."  
  
Roger sat up, confused and a little alarmed. "Why does Joanne need to see us? What about?" As he said it he could feel Cass tense up next to him. Even in the dark he could see the storm clouds cross her bright eyes.  
  
Cass rolled on her side away from him. "We don't know. We never actually talked to Joanne today. Her assistant called Mark and got the info and set up tomorrow."  
  
He heard her take a deep breath and he knew she was starting to cry. "Oh Roger," She sobbed, "it's them. I know it is! It has to be! I mean Joanne calls Carlton as your lawyer and now this! It's all my fault. "I'm so sorry. I should have known they would do something like this. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault." She was crying hard now.  
  
Roger pulled her up into his arms. "Please don't cry Cass. It's okay. Whatever it is."  
  
"No it's not. Now they are just going to make life difficult for you and Mark. I'm so sorry Roger. If they make it too bad, I'll leave, I promise." She told him through her tired tears.  
  
"No! Don't you dare say that." He squeezed her tight before grabbing her by the shoulders and holding her out some so he could look at her. "You don't ever have to leave. Do you hear me? No matter what happens. I don't want you to leave. Ever. Unless you want to because I'm a total fuck up, but never because of them or what they can or think they can do."  
  
Roger put his arms around her again and held her tight while he started stroking her hair. "Okay Cass? Please promise me that. Promise me if you ever leave, it's cause your tired of me, or I'm a fuck up or something like that, but promise me you'll never leave because of them."  
  
"But Roger."  
  
"No, no buts. I mean it. There is nothing they can do, or even threaten to do that would make it worth you leaving. Please believe me on that Cass." Please he thought, I don't think I can take you leaving me. Not you too. Roger could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and starting to burn down his cheeks. "Please Cass." he said softly, still stroking her hair.  
  
They had laid back down but he was still holding her tightly. She had stopped sobbing but Roger could feel tears still hitting his bare chest. "But Roger, what if they try and sue you or something? Andre plays so dirty! The legal fees would be outrages by the time he's done. And you guys could lose everything!"  
  
It took a moment for what she had said to register in his tired brain, but when it did, Roger realized that what she had just said was about the funniest thing he had ever heard. He started laughing and wasn't sure if her would be able to stop.  
  
"Roger I'm serious. This could be really bad."  
  
He could hear the panic in her voice and he tried to pull it together enough to at least calm her down, even if he couldn't get her to see the humor in what she said. "I'm sorry baby. Really. It's just that, I mean look around. What would they ever sure us for? A couple of beat up mattress that sit on the floor? A couch and chair held together with duct tape? And let's not forget the matching milk crate coffee table." He chuckled at that.  
  
"I mean if you didn't bring it or buy it, what else is there? A bunch of our old clothes? Mark's $2000 Visa bill he'll be paying $28 a month for the next ten years? The only thing we've got worth anything is my guitar, the one amp and Mark's camera stuff. And those are only valuable to us. Trust me. They really aren't worth money. Never enough to make hocking them worthwhile.  
  
"And it's not like they can sue us for this place. Our illegally rented penthouse, which no one else in their right mind would want to stay in but us." And hopefully you he thought.  
  
Suddenly she pulled back and looked at him. "Oh Roger! What about Benny? What if they find out about Benny somehow? What would he do to you?"  
  
Benny. Fuck. He hadn't thought about that. Yeah, that could be a problem. All they would have to do is throw a little cash at Benny and he would be their lap dog, no problem. Just one more reason to hate Benny.  
  
Yes, Benny could pose a problem. Really the only problem. And losing this place, no matter how bad it was, would suck, and make life difficult, but he couldn't let her know that. Especially now.  
  
He pulled her in close again. "Don't worry about Benny. He's too lazy to kick us, well at least Mark out. Then he'd have to deal with this place on his own."  
  
"But Roger."  
  
"No really. Besides even if he did, we'd be okay. Might be a little hard shoving all those computers out there into a locker at Grand Central," he laughed at that thought, "but hey this time we would at least have some warning. We could get some of our stuff out. And this time hopefully it wouldn't be so cold out."  
  
"What do you mean this time?" She asked him, wiping away a tear.  
  
"What, Mark never told you about that week between Christmas and New Year's? When I first met Mimi?"  
  
"You mean Maureen's protest and all?"  
  
"Yeah, but he didn't tell you we were homeless?" She shook her head. "Leave it to Mark to leave out the good details. But in his defense, Maureen had just not only fired him as her stage manager, but also dumped him for Joanne. So his brain wasn't exactly on the current situation."  
  
"Oh that part I heard about. All about. In long, drawn out, gory details."  
  
She was perking up, so he kept going. "Well," he began, "Benny had the door bolted shut, with plywood over it, along with a chain all padlocked up. Mark and I had the clothes we were wearing. Period. Oh and his camera of course."  
  
"Of course." She gave a small laugh.  
  
Roger smiled. "Yeah so he's got his camera, we've got zero money, my guitar locked inside. Mimi at least had some stuff at work at the club. And Benny had somebody standing guard the first few days so we couldn't break in either."  
  
"But what about the rest of the building? And what did you guys do?"  
  
"Well Mimi's apartment was the only one with anyone in it on the second and third floor then. He wanted them empty so he could do the whole studio/condo thing he was planning. I don't know what he did about the three on the first floor. He was going to need to get rid of them eventually for his plan to work anyway."  
  
"But what did you guys do? Where did you go?"  
  
"Well we crashed on a few floors. Angel's for a day or two. But that place was already tiny with Angel alone, not to mention Collins who had suddenly shown back up in town. It was only a one-room studio. You should have seen it. Angel and Collins on this twin bed, me, Mimi and Mark on the floor. You had to go outside to change your mind."  
  
She laughed at him. "So what else?"  
  
"Well we tried Maureen and Joanne's new place. Joanne, who only just met all of us, was not overly thrilled. Little miss lesbian lawyer, all organized and neat, already dealing with El slobo Maureen. But only days after meeting us we end up on her floor. One guitarless, unemployed ex junkie guitar player, one current junkie stripper and Mark. At first I thought she was afraid Mimi and I were either gonna murder her or rob her blind for smack money, but then I realized it was Mark who was just really freaking her out. And he's lucky he lived through those two nights too. Man does he owe Mimi his life for that. He was making me crazy with the whole Maureen thing."  
  
"I could see that happening."  
  
That time she actually laughed. God how he loved the sound of that from her. "So we spent the next few nights on the floor of some of my old band member's. Stayed at Izzy's one night too. Finally, by New Year's Eve Benny stopped paying his guard dog so we decided to break back into the building. If for nothing else, to get our stuff."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Well, Angel got a blow torch somewhere. That was one of those you don't want to ask how things. But he cut through the bolts and chain. But the funny thing was Mark and Joanne, scaling the fire escape like Spiderman or something. With Maureen in tow, not real happy with Mark and Joanne's new found friendship." Roger couldn't help but laugh thinking back at all of it. For as bad as it was, it had some really good moments. Kind of like now.  
  
"So you got back in?"  
  
"Well yeah, after trashing the front door. And then about ten minutes later Benny shows up, claiming he was going to let us in anyway."  
  
Roger started playing with her hair again. "So see it all worked out. It will this time too."  
  
"I just have a really bad feeling about all of this. Roger I just know it's gonna be something bad. And it's all my fault."  
  
Uh oh, here we go again he thought. "Cass don't worry about it, okay? None of it is your fault no mater what happens."  
  
"But if they do something. If something happens and they come after you guys. I couldn't stand the idea of it happening just because I came here."  
  
"It will be okay. Nothing is going to happen. They can't do anything to us. There's nothing to do. And I won't let them do anything to you. So stop worrying about it. Please? It'll be okay. I promise. It will be okay. Nobody is going to make Mark and me go anywhere. We're staying right here. And so are you." He assured her. "No one's going anywhere and nobody's leaving. Got it? Nobody."  
  
Roger realized he was holding her tight, real tight. Almost squeezing her. He figured if he was hurting her she would have said something by now. Roger loosened up his grip on her, but was still holding onto her tightly. Almost as if he was afraid to let her go. Afraid that if he didn't keep his arms around her she might just disappear into the darkness of the night.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"You guys it's time to get up." Mark banged on the bedroom door as he opened it. "Are you awake yet? Cass? Cass wake up and make him move. I'm going to take a shower."  
  
"Roger." She said sleepily, gently nudging him, but never opening her eyes.  
  
"You guys get up!" Mark yelled at them. "We are gong to be late if you two don't move!"  
  
"Okay, okay," Cass mumbled at him. "I thought you were going to take a shower? Roger wake up."  
  
"I was, twenty minutes ago. Roger wake up!"  
  
"ShutupMark." Roger grumbled at him and it all came out as one long word.  
  
"Roger we have to get up."  
  
He felt like he only went to sleep a few minutes ago. His brain went back to last night's conversation and he realized he still had his arms wrapped tightly around her. "Okay, I'm awake."  
  
"Good, but we have to get up as well." She laughed at him as she slowly untangled herself from Roger's arms. "Come on sleepy head, we can take a nap when we get back."  
  
"Okay, okay." Roger rolled over and stood up as Cass climbed over and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm moving." He told her as he walked out of the room.  
  
Cass reached over for the cigarettes on the floor by Roger's side of the bed. Her head was swimming and sending waves of nausea to her stomach. She lit a cigarette and laid back on the bed.  
  
"Cass you moving?" Mark called to her. "You want some toast? We can stop and get coffee on the way. I guess we can get food too if you don't want toast."  
  
"No toast is fine. Thanks Mark." She laid there smoking for a few minutes.  
  
"You okay?" Roger asked her as he walked back into the room and saw her lying there.  
  
"Yes I'm just tired." She said as she sat up and moved to get off the bed.  
  
"Are you sure? You don't look so good. Are you still worried about today? I told you it's going to be okay. I promise." He pulled her into a hug.  
  
"Yeas, I guess I am." She let out a big sigh. God she was glad he was here. He made her actually feel better.  
  
They stopped at he coffee shop and Mark went in as Cass and Roger stood outside and smoked. "Okay, here you go. We gotta hurry up." Mark told them as he handed them their coffee. "Cass are you sure you're okay? You just look a little green."  
  
"Yes I'm fine. Can we please move on."  
  
Roger flicked out his cigarette and put his arm around her waist. "Will you stop worrying. You're getting like Mark." He gave her that mischievous grin. "And look at him. He's not worried at all, so it can't be that bad."  
  
"He's right." Mark told her. "Nothing to worry about. This is going to be no big deal." Okay shut your mouth now Mark, before you keep talking and you blow it. She may actually believe you if you stop there. He watched Roger kiss her on top of her head and nod at him. Maybe he was getting better at this whole lying thing.  
  
They walked up to Joanne's building. "You done?" Roger asked as he finished his coffee. She handed him her empty cup and he threw them out.  
  
"We have time for another cigarette right?" Cass asked as she scratched at her forearm.  
  
"No we don't." Mark told her as he pulled open the door. They took the elevator to the floor her firm was on and walked into the lobby. Mark told the receptionist who they were and they sat down and waited.  
  
Mark couldn't help but fidget. Now that they were there, he really was worried. What could Joanne possibly have needed to see them about? And couldn't do it at the loft? Or her place? Mark was getting an uneasy feeling.  
  
They were taken into a conference room to wait. Roger was holding Cass' left hand under the table. Every now and then she would let go to scratch at some itch. Roger watched her scratch and Mark fidget. He finally couldn't take it any longer.  
  
"Oh for god sake will the two of you cut it out and relax!" He took Cass' hand in his and grabbed Mark's right wrist and pinned it to the table. "Can you hold off panicking till we at least know if there is something to panic about. It doesn't matter. We'll be fine. Geeze Mark we've dealt with worse."  
  
"But--" Mark began.  
  
"Enough! Just sit still and stop fidgeting. You're making me nuts!" It came out meaner than he meant. "I'm sorry I'm just tired. Tired and you're both driving me a little nuts at the moment. Cass what are you scratching at?"  
  
She was clawing at her left shoulder with a pen from the table. "I don't know. It must be nerves or stress. God this thing itches." She switched hands with the pen and started scratching inside her cast again.  
  
Mark opened his mouth to say something, but only gave a disapproving look.  
  
Roger sighed and started to laugh a little. "It's a good thing I love you two." He reached over and took the pen from Cass and handed it to Mark, who had a strange look on his face now. "You've only got like two more weeks and it will be off. By the way how's your other hand?" He gently picked up her left hand and turned it over to look at her burn, which had pretty much healed up and was only wrapped across her palm now.  
  
"It's okay. I'll just be happy when I'm done with tape, and gauze, and casts and can move around without all this crap around my ribs. And I can type. And move my fingers. And I can go running again." She looked up at him. He was just looking at her funny. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to bitch and moan." She tried to smile while scratching at her neck.  
  
"Well you only have a couple more days for your ribs to be wrapped up. And she's gonna cut the cast off your fingers then too. Two more weeks and it will be all over." Roger smiled at her and kissed her burned hand.  
  
Mark had just sat there watching this whole thing. Had Roger really just said that? Yes he did. He said it was a good thing I love you two. A casual comment. No problem. Casual in reference to Mark, but what about Cass? Maybe this whole thing with Cass was more serious than Mark had realized? 


	34. 34

Chapter 34  
  
  
  
The conference room door opened and Joanne came in. It was the first time they had ever really seen her at work. Sure, Roger had seen her in suits, still dressed from work, and they had heard her on her cell often, but this was different. This was the first time they had ever really seen her working. It was the most relaxed he had ever seen her. She was completely in her element. He couldn't help but wonder how she had put up with all of hem over the years, because while it was her element, it certainly wasn't any of theirs.  
  
"Hey guys how are you doing this morning?" She asked them as she looked from one to the other.  
  
Roger looked from Mark who was still holding the pen and had started fidgeting again to Cass who had started scratching again. Both had a deer in the headlights look on their faces. Cass much more so than Mark. Roger hated seeing that look on her face. It seemed like he had seen it so many times in the few days she had been with them.  
  
Roger carefully took her hand under the table. He not so carefully yanked the pen away from Mark and slapped it on the table. As he looked at Joanne. "They're a little nervous. And driving me crazy. You know, Mark's usual prediction of doom and gloom and no matter what we tell her," he nodded his head at Cass as he smiled at her, "she won't believe us that none of this is her fault and that there's nothing they can really do to us. She's afraid they're going to sue us or something." He laughed at that last part, hoping to lighten both their moods by saying it. It actually worked some.  
  
"Sue you two?" Joanne laughed. "Now that is funny. For what? The huge dust bunnies residing in the loft or the yet undiscovered species growing on something in your fridge."  
  
Mark grinned. "Well there are all our worldly possessions." He had started laughing.  
  
"Oh just what they would want I'm sure. Hours upon hours of film Mark shot. Most of it comprised of either Maureen throwing herself in front of the camera or the rest of us yelling at Mark to get out of our faces with it."  
  
Even Cass was laughing now. She had lived her first week at the loft camera free, but that ended when her black eye faded. She had seen that camera pointed at her more than she wanted in the days since their party last weekend.  
  
"Okay seriously thought. Let's talk business." Joanne's whole demeanor changed. "I heard back from your father Cass. Do you want to know what he said?"  
  
"Not really." Her eyes went down to her lap. Roger gently squeezed her hand under the table. "Just sum up the high points."  
  
"Okay. He said the situation had been handled. You won't be receiving any more phone calls like those two before. Neither your aunt or cousin have any reason to call you again so it should not be a problem."  
  
"What about," Roger gave a sideways look at Cass, "visitors?"  
  
"I asked about the need for any type of restraining orders. He said that won't be needed. You can travel the entire East Coast with no problem. The whole country for that matter. With the only real exception of California and Miami. He said that would be the only places you would run the risk of crossing paths. There and various points in Europe. You just need to have me notify him in advance if you're going anywhere like that. He'll make sure no one in question has any, uh, similar travel plans."  
  
"Good. See problem solved." Roger told them. "Is that it Jo?" Roger asked optimistically.  
  
"Well, no, not completely." She turned back to Cass. "He did want to discuss some work arrangements with you. I suggested for the moment we limit it to email only contact, until you notify him of anything different. He was in agreement on that."  
  
Cass just nodded her head. Roger could tell she wasn't really looking at Joanne anymore. More like past her or through her. He really thought she was going to cry for a second but she just sat there, staring, listening and nodding. She was also holing on for dear life to his hand under the table. She wasn't really squeezing it, but it would have taken the Jaws of Life to pry them apart at that moment.  
  
"Okay," Joanne switched her focus to Mark and Roger. "Now for you two."  
  
For all his talk, Roger still felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. Whatever you do, don't flinch Davis. If either of them sense you starting to get nervous this could go worse.  
  
He knew he'd be able to take care of the three of them for the short term. Till they got back on their feet, or at least as on their feet as they currently are. But he also knew it would be easier if they believed that he believed it was just no big deal. Just another day in the lives of alphabet city residents.  
  
Joanne could tell Roger was somewhat nervous, but she knew him well enough to know he was hiding it for Mark's sake. Apparently Cass' to. Wow he had really changed in the last two weeks. A whole different Roger. And that really made her happy.  
  
Now Mark on the other hand, he was exactly as Joanne had expected. A bundle of worried nerves expecting the worst. This is really going to be fun to some extent she thought.  
  
Joanne had a definite dislike for Cass' family. She didn't like their attitude, how they treated the situation, how they treated Cass, or how they were about to treat Mark and Roger. Well, hopefully the guys won't see anything in this beyond face value.  
  
Look for the good Joanne. She had been telling herself this since Tuesday in Washington when she got all of this information and such. Look for the good and take what you can find. And enjoy the moment. There haven't been many like this upcoming one. For her or them especially.  
  
"Well Mr. Cohen and Mr. Davis," Joanne smirked at them. It didn't matter how old they were at this point, that just still sounded weird. "Uh, first, here Marky." She slid a small brown paper bag like you pack a lunch in across the table at him. She tried hard to stifle a laugh. "Just in case you need it for anything."  
  
"Oh god!" Mark said leaning back in his chair and bringing his hand to his head. "It's that bad? So bad you think I'll puke? Oh we are so doomed." He paused then suddenly leaned forward and looked at Cass. "But it's okay Cass, because we don't blame you at all. None of this is your fault so don't think that. Just before you got here Roger and I were talking about moving or redecorating or selling vital organs for spare cash." Shut up Mark! Stop while you're ahead, or at least before you dig the hole deeper! He thought to himself.  
  
"Shut up Mark!" Roger glared at him. "Stop while you're ahead. Or before you make the hole you're digging yourself into deeper!"  
  
Mark looked at him and closed his mouth. Maybe they had lived together a little too long? At any other moment, that would have been really funny.  
  
"I was actually thinking incase you needed to breathe into it." Joanne told Mark about the paper bag. "But breathe, puke, whatever you need it for Mark. I know you get uptight sometimes." She was almost laughing.  
  
"Moving on though," Joanne opened the file she brought in with her and took out a piece of paper and began to read from it. "Mr. Sullivan would like to express his most," Joanne almost couldn't say it, "heartfelt apology. The phone calls and messages left on your answering machine were completely uncalled for and are being dealt with. He would also like to apologize for any other problems, or inconveniences that have been thrust upon either of you since your involvement in the current situation." Joanne's eyes went to Cass as she said that last part.  
  
Roger swallowed hard and kept holding Cass' hand. She never moved a muscle. She just kept staring out the window behind Joanne. Her fucking bastard of a father basically just called her an inconvenience and a problem. God I hope for his sake I never see him again Roger thought.  
  
Joanne continued. "With that in mind, please accept the enclosed gift as not only an expression of my gratitude, but also my most sincere apology for all you have both done and been forced to deal wit thus far."  
  
Joanne set down the paper on the table. "It finishes up, Carlton Sullivan, yada, yada, yada, legal stuff, yada." She slid the letter across the table to the space between the now very pale Mark and the highly pissed off Roger.  
  
She opened the file again and took out two envelopes and slid one in front of each of them. They both stared at them for a second. Roger finally reached down and picked up the envelope with his name on it off the table. He turned it over and undid the sealed flap. Without taking it all the way out of the envelope he raised the piece of paper up some, read it and shoved it back into the envelope. A second later he did the whole thing again. After reading it the second time he laid it down on the table and took Cass' hand in his again.  
  
Mark was still staring at the envelope, not moving. Come on Mark, it's only a lousy piece of paper. What can it do to you? Don't be such wimp! Screw it, at this moment you're a wimp. Luckily, Roger's about to bail you out.  
  
Roger sighed as he let go of Cass. He picked up Mark's envelope when Mark still hadn't moved. He looked at Joanne, who obviously knew what was in both envelopes and he could tell was trying hard at the very least not to burst into a huge smile, if not start laughing all together. She had managed to contain herself to a slight smirk when Roger looked at her and she nodded.  
  
Again, Roger undid the envelope flap and pulled the paper up enough to read it. He started to grin as he picked up the paper bag, shook it open and set it in front of Mark.  
  
"Oh god." Mark said dreadfully. "What is it? How bad?"  
  
"She's right, you're gonna need that to breathe in." He couldn't help it, he started laughing as he grabbed Cass again. He smiled at her before turning back to Mark.  
  
"Just tell me what it is." Mark was sitting there with both hands flat on the table. One on either side of the envelope, watching it. Guarding it. As if it might jump up and bite them at any moment.  
  
"It's a check." Roger told him slowly. "For fifteen thousand dollars." He watched Mark's eyes get wider as he started breathing fast.  
  
"Fifteen thousand dollars?" Mark asked in a small voice as he reached for the envelope. He pulled the check out and set it on the table staring at it. "Fifteen thousand dollars?" He repeated to himself. "They sent us fifteen thousand dollars?"  
  
"No. They sent us fifteen thousand dollars each. That's thirty thousand dollars."  
  
"Thirty thousand dollars?" Mark squeaked out. At that point he reached for the paper bag and started breathing into it.  
  
Joanne and Roger started laughing at him, but then Roger realized Cass wasn't laughing. She wasn't really doing anything. She was just sitting there, with her head down, looking at the table. "Are you all right Cass? I mean this is good. Isn't it? You don't have to worry about anybody showing up, or calling and harassing you. That's a good thing."  
  
Mark put the bag down and looked at her. "It's the money. It's kinda like they are trying to buy us off or shut us up or something. That's it isn't it?"  
  
Joanne knew that was exactly their attempt. Her father had seen where they live. How they live. She was sure he had had both Roger and Mark checked out. Probably her as well. She had a feeling he figured if he threw a little money at them, they wouldn't be a problem. Then, eventually either Cass would get tired of them, or them of her, and she would come home. Situation over.  
  
Between the letter and the money, he had treated her like some kind of business deal. They may be good businessmen, but Cass wasn't business. She was his daughter. And she was smart. Smart enough to realize all this on her own. Joanne knew that had to hurt.  
  
She was happy about Roger and Mark getting the money. God knew they could certainly use it. However, she had hoped neither would have drawn Mark's conclusion about it. That they could just take it at face value. Something good that they could really use. Not that they were being paid off or anything  
  
Joanne knew that those checks, whether they were fifteen thousand dollars or fifteen million dollars, would never change the way Mark and Roger felt about Cass. She didn't worry about that at all. She just wished that Cass' jerk of a father hadn't thought they could be so easily and cheaply dealt with. Did he think they were poor and stupid?  
  
She couldn't help but wonder if either her father or uncle had any clue or idea about what had developed between Roger and Cass. She doubted it. Most likely not something they would ever even have considered. Good. They didn't need to know that anyway. Joanne also knew Roger well enough to be positive that he wasn't going to let anything happen, or let her go anywhere without him anytime soon. She was real happy about that too. For both of them.  
  
"Is that what they are doing Cass?" Roger's voice broke into Joanne's thoughts.  
  
"Maybe. Most likely." She said quietly. "I'm sure that was their first trip into the Village ever. Like I said, they are somewhat used to getting their own way. A lot of time they need to throw money around to do that. They probably took one look and figured all it would take is a little money." Cass shrugged then shook her head. She was almost in tears when she spoke again. "I'm sorry you guys. I'm so sorry they treated you like that. They are such idiots. I'm so sorry."  
  
Damn them Roger thought. All they do is upset her and make her cry. "For what? Being related to a bunch of fuckheads? That's not your fault."  
  
"No." She said softly. "But I'm sorry they are treating you guys like this. That is my fault."  
  
"What do you mean?" Roger gently asked her.  
  
"Andre just has this tendency to, well." she paused a moment. Joanne could tell she was almost embarrassed to say what she wanted to tell them. "He just has this tendency to treat anyone who isn't successful, or rich or whatever as like second class people. Sometimes almost non- people. I think he thinks anyone who hasn't managed to do what he's done, just doesn't have the brainpower or whatever. He tends to act like they don't count.  
  
"He's some sort of God and everyone else, everyone normal like you guys, just don't count. Throw a little money at them and they'll do what you want them to do. They just don't know any better. I'm so sorry." She couldn't hold back the tears that had welled up in her eyes and a few started to escape down her cheeks.  
  
"Hey." Roger wiped away a tear from her cheek. "Don't worry about us. We can take it." He laughed a little. "The last thing me and Mark are worried about is what a bunch of idiots think of us. If Mark was ever concerned about that, he'd never leave the house in some of his geeky outfits he's got. You know, where it looks like his mommy dressed him."  
  
Joanne tried hard to hold in a laugh. She just smirked at Mark who rolled his eyes at Roger. It had always amazed her how they were ever friend I the first place, but it was moments like this when she could see how deep their relationship really went.  
  
"Too bad we can't get them to understand that." Mark said as he picked the check up and just looked at it. "That we don't need or care what they think. You know, let them know, in the whole scheme of things that they are the inconsequential ones."  
  
"Yeah, we could, um, send the checks back." Roger told her with no hesitation. "Tell them we don't want or need their money. Tell them where to put it too. We could do that Cass. If that 's what you want, we'll do that. If that will help." Roger slid the check back across the table at an obviously stunned Joanne.  
  
Mark kept holding his check for a second. He looked from it to Roger and then back at the check. Mark softly sighed and looked at Roger again. He watched him wipe another tear off Cass' face. He knew it was pointless, there would be no reason to argue with him. No matter what Mark told him, tried to make him realize, it wouldn't matter. Not now. He knew Roger was gonna put Cass ahead of all that other stuff. No matter what. He quietly slid his check across the table to Joanne as well.  
  
Joanne could not believe it. If she ever knew two people who could use that money, it was them. And they weren't even thinking or debating about it. She couldn't get over Mark especially. Mark who actually thought out things. Mark thought of the future. Fifteen thousand dollars isn't a lot of money really, but if, when Roger gets sick, it could, no it would help. Somewhat at least.  
  
She could understand their reasons, but hey needed that money. Mark should be telling Roger all this right now. He had to of thought of all that. Roger may not of, he doesn't tend to think that way, but Mark did. Mark knew they needed that money. If not now, then later. That Roger, that they were going to need that money. What was Mark doing? She just looked at him.  
  
Mark saw the look on Joanne's face. Roger didn't. Roger had never taken his eyes off Cass. Mark just shook his head at her. "Yeah Cass," he said softly, "we can do that. If that's what you."  
  
"Don't you dare!" She almost yelled at them. "First of all, you guys deserve that money. Not to mention the fact that you need it. Secondly all that would accomplish would be them, and a whole lot of other people thinking you two are completely either stupid or insane. Right?" Cass asked of Joanne.  
  
Joanne let out the breath she hadn't even realized she had been holding. "Well.okay yes. She's right. I mean I completely understand the point you would be trying to make, but in my opinion it would be lost on them."  
  
"Exactly! They won't get it. And even if they did, it wouldn't do any good. The only people that would hurt would be you two. You're keeping the money. You don't want to spend it, fine. But you're keeping it. It will come in handy someday."  
  
Finally a voice of reason. Joanne pushed the checks back over to them. She was glad Cass got them to keep the money. The look on Mark's face told her he was too.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
  
  
Cass watched Mark write on the napkin as he listened on his cell phone. She pushed her lunch around on her plate with her fork.  
  
"Izzy called. He said something about rehearsal today. That you need to call him ASAP."  
  
Roger looked at his watch. "Crap, I forgot about practice." Roger pulled out his own blue phone and started to dial Izzy. He picked up the ice tea the waitress had just brought him, pulled the lemon out and dropped it in Mark's tea along with Cass' lemon.  
  
"Iz, what's going on?" He asked into the phone. "Uh huh." He watched Cass push her food around some more on her plate. "Yeah, right," he yawned into the phone. "Well, what about tonight? You think you can survive without me? Yeah well, you know." He grinned at Cass. "Yeah. Cool. I'll talk to you later. Bye."  
  
He hung up his phone and put it back in his pocket. "Cool. No practice and no work. Where'd Mark go?"  
  
"I don't know." She told him as she set down her fork. "He said he would be right back."  
  
"Why aren't you eating? You want something else?"  
  
"No, I'm just not that hungry I guess."  
  
"You okay? With this morning and all?"  
  
"Oh yes. I'm glad it's over though. But I feel better knowing that was all it was. And I'm glad you guys kept the money."  
  
"Yeah, what about that? Are you okay with that? With us having that money?"  
  
"Yes. You need it. Use it for whatever you want."  
  
"Okay. Say we go out someplace. We go to dinner and go clubbing or movies or something. Is it gonna bother you if that's were the money came from?"  
  
Cass shrugged as she drank more of her tea. "No, I guess not. I mean technically, all my money comes from the same place."  
  
"Okay, just checking." Roger nodded. He leaned in close over the table and grinned at her. "So? You wanna? I mean now that I don't have to work or anything?"  
  
"What?" She looked at him quizzically.  
  
"Go out. Like to dinner and stuff. Like a, you know, date."  
  
"Go out on a date? With you?" She said to him, completely straight-faced. "Um, I'll have to check my date book, to see what night I might have open."  
  
Roger tilted his head and gave her a serious look.  
  
"So where are you taking me? Wait let me guess. Dinner at, maybe the Life Café and then hanging out and drinking at the Iguana?"  
  
"Um, actually no." Actually yes but he decided maybe he would go with something different after he realized that was pretty much standard for all of them. "How about someplace else. Someplace like," he started to look around as he thought. He looked down at his tee shirt and remembered something she had said to him early last week. His grin got bigger. "Someplace like where I gotta wear a shirt that still has sleeves."  
  
She remembered and smirked back at him. "Okay, that's a start. Then where?"  
  
"I don't know. Go to a bar and hear a band"  
  
"So you looking for new recruits or a place to send you resume?"  
  
Point taken. "Clubbing? I'll take you dancing."  
  
"Possibly. But I don't really have any 'clubbing' clothes."  
  
"Well, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but we could go shopping." He rolled his eyes at her. "Over on St. Mark's again."  
  
"If we're going out I'm gonna need a nap first, and you might too." She laughed as he yawned.  
  
"Yeah, that might be a good idea. Considering what time the alarm clock nazi made us get up. And what time we finally went to sleep last night." Roger remembered he wanted to talk to her about why she won't go to bed by herself, but that can wait. "Mo should be home soon, we can swing by there and get you some clothes from her."  
  
"What about Jen? She's right downstairs."  
  
Roger was thinking how to answer that when he saw Mark heading back to the table. True, Jen would have club clothes Cass could wear. But Maureen was a little more adventurous. Okay a lot more adventurous then Jen. Maureen never really did anything for Roger. She had a nice chest and all, but he could never really see much past that.  
  
Partially because you could almost always see her chest. Few people had to bed over braless as much as Maureen did. She had been doing it for so long, she didn't even realize it anymore. Otherwise why waste it on him? And Collins and Jason?  
  
Yeah, Jen had club clothes. But Maureen had hot club clothes. A sly grin spread across his face as he pictures Cass in some of Maureen's outfits. And Cass had a much better body than Maureen anyway. "Um, well, let's just say I think Mo might have more stuff you'd like."  
  
"Uh huh. If you say so. I'll call her later."  
  
Mark came back and sat down. He dropped his phone on the table. "Okay. Cass you had a message on the machine too. Margaret or something? With a heavy accent."  
  
"Marguerite." She laughed. "Her English is, let's just say, not the best. I'll call her later."  
  
"So who was the other message from?" Roger asked him.  
  
"Um, it was for me." He told them evasively.  
  
"Yeah Marky?" Roger asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Who called? That who you been talking too?"  
  
"A, nobody you, a want to um, nobody."  
  
"Right." He winked at Cass.  
  
"Don't you need to go get your guitar or something? So you can go to that thing you call work?"  
  
"Nope. No practice, no work. So I'm a free man tonight."  
  
"You're gonna be home? Tonight? Not at work?" Mark said, almost alarmed.  
  
"Why Mark? What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing." He replied very quickly.  
  
"Who was on the phone Mark?" Roger stared him down.  
  
Cass watched Mark fidget under Roger's stare and had to fight to hold back a laugh.  
  
"Um, Benny called. He needs a small favor I guess." Mark told him meekly as he braced himself for what was to come.  
  
"Oh, okay. Just don't let him screw you is all. Remember the last time he needed just one small favor."  
  
"Oh, okay Roger." Whoa, this is different Mark thought.  
  
"Don't sweat it Mark. I'm in a good mood. Benny's not on my list today. Besides, we're going out tonight."  
  
"We are?" Mark said still looking at Roger.  
  
"Um," Roger chewed at his lip as he glanced at Cass. "Well, no not us, but us." He wagged a finger between himself and Cass. "Kinda like a date type sort of thing." Shit! Good move Rog. "Um, is that okay?"  
  
"Oh yeah. No, go out. Really. Have fun. Please. Besides, I think I'm gonna end up seeing Benny tonight."  
  
"Okay. Just be real careful. If he's looking for favors, something's up." 


	35. 35

A/N Okay, I think it's funny how so many people are worried about Mark! Well don't fear, I have plans for him in the up coming chapters. He gets a girl! But not yet! So you have to wait and see! Anyway , thanks again for all the reviews I have gotten and thank you all so much for caring what happens in this story! It means a lot.  
  
Chapter 35  
  
  
  
By the time Mark heard a knock at the door, he had started worrying about Benny coming over again. While Mark was definitely amazed at Roger's reaction to Benny's name earlier, he had no intention of taking it as anything more than Roger being in an especially good and possibly brief mood. He wasn't holding out any hope for anything more than that. Not between Benny and Roger. Not after everything that has happened in the past.  
  
What Benny needed was really no big deal. It actually might even be fun. If it was anyone else asking, he would have told Roger right in the beginning. At least asked him if he minded. But had he done that this time, with the favor coming from Benny, Mark knew what Roger's answer would have been.  
  
Mark felt bad about lying to Roger and keeping things from him. At this point they were honest to each other about everything. Even if it hurt. They just knew it was better that way. Mark just thought it would be easier to tell him after. After the girls come over, and see it. That should work. Girls love stuff like that. They'll all tell Roger how cute it is and all and then Roger won't give Mark such a hard time later for helping Benny. But who knows, with Roger's sudden new attitude towards Benny, maybe he wouldn't have anyway? But don't go looking for miracles there he told himself as he answered the door.  
  
"Oh hey Mo. I, uh, thought you were someone else. What's up?"  
  
"Hey sweetie. I brought over a bunch of clothes for Cass. She said you guys were going clubbing and stuff tonight. She needed something to wear." Maureen was confused. She figured Mark would be expecting her. Actually she was surprised he hadn't called earlier to invite her with them. One of the reasons she brought so many choices for Cass was so she had something left to put on if she went with them.  
  
"Uh, actually, it's not a we thing as much as a them thing. An alone, date type thing I guess." Mark closed the door behind her and pulled two sodas from the fridge and handed her one. "But I'm glad you're here. Wanna hang out wit me? It will be fun, eventually."  
  
She laughed and took the diet coke. "What do you mean eventually?"  
  
"Well, after somebody, well, oh, you'll see."  
  
"Sure always up for an adventure and Joanne's gonna be working late anyway." She hopped up on the counter. "So, a date type thing huh? Very interesting." She grinned. "But I'm glad for them. Where are they anyway?" She asked looking around.  
  
"They're laying down. I made them get up early to see Joanne today. And before you ask let's just say it went well, and we shouldn't have anymore problems. And drop it there for now. Okay?"  
  
"Sure. No questions. But you know that little speech won't stop Jen. She'll need more info." Maureen laughed. "God she's nosey. But I love her anyway!" They sat around talking for awhile longer before Cass got up to take a shower. Roger came out and sat down with them, smoking a cigarette.  
  
"So where are you guys going?" Maureen asked him with a huge cheesy grin on her face.  
  
"I don't know, to dinner. Some place other than Life Café." He gave a small laugh thinking aback to their conversation before. "Then I told her I'd take her to a club to go dancing."  
  
"Really? Sounds like fun!" Still with the huge grin.  
  
"Forget it Mo. If you're looking for an invite, you're not getting one. If you're just being a smartass, cut it out. You can keep Marky company. Help protect him from Benny."  
  
"Benny?" Maureen said with a note of alarm. "What's going on with Benny?"  
  
"Nothing. He needs a small favor is all. He may come by tonight. Hopefully I can meet him on the street again." Mark shot Maureen a drop it and I'll tell you later look, and for once she actually took the hint.  
  
Cass came out of the shower in a towel. She walked over to Roger and held out her arm for him to undo the plastic bag taped over her cast. "I don't think I can take two more weeks of this stupid thing." She motioned to her cast as she took Roger's cigarette from between his lips and took a drag. "So what did you bring me to wear?"  
  
"Oh a whole bunch of stuff." Maureen picked up the clothes and followed Cass into the bedroom.  
  
"Marky you gonna be okay here alone?" Roger asked him as he crushed out his cigarette. "I mean honestly? Are you really okay with us going out like this?"  
  
Mark could tell Roger was sincere. That he was still concerned about Mark getting hurt over him seeing Cass. "Yes, for the last time. I'm fine with it. Will you just take her out and have a good time already."  
  
"Okay. I believe you. But what about tonight, with Benny? You sure you don't want me to wait with you? Or maybe it would be better to call Collins." Roger grinned slightly.  
  
"No, it's cool. It's no big deal. Really. Take her out and have fun."  
  
"Okay." Roger grinned. "Hey do you know where some of my half way decent clothes are? Like something a little better then a tee shirt?"  
  
"Oh yeah. They are hanging in," Mimi's closet, "um, the uh, other room, I think, um, I'll see if I can find them for you."  
  
Roger smiled. He knew Mark was about to say all that stuff was hanging in Mimi's closet. And actually he seemed to be okay with that whole idea. But Roger really appreciated Mark still trying so hard to protect him. "Okay. I guess that's one of those cleaning up things, huh?"  
  
"Yeah," Mark laughed. He knew Roger knew what he was gonna say. "But don't start changing now. I'm used to you being a slob at this point."  
  
"Hey, go with your strengths!" They both started laughing when Cass and Maureen walked out of the bedroom carrying Maureen's clothes.  
  
"We're going down to Jen's for some things. We'll be back." Maureen told them.  
  
"I'm gonna go get a new pack of cigarettes. We're out. That was the last one we had." Roger told Cass as he stood up. Anybody want anything?"  
  
"Nope, but here's a thought, if you're out of cigarettes, why don't you guys, I don't know, quit? Again?" Mark told him.  
  
"Well, that's one idea Marky," Cass told him, taking her wallet out of her bag and getting money for Roger. "But maybe not." She grinned at him. "Nice try though." She turned to Roger again. "Just get a carton this time instead of buying a new pack every other day."  
  
"That's like fifty bucks Cass.' He told her.  
  
"Here." She handed him the money. "It costs the exact same by the time you're done whether you buy one carton or a bunch of separate packs. At least then we'll have some for awhile."  
  
"Okay. I'll be back. Then we can go whenever you're ready. I'm getting hungry."  
  
When Roger came back with the cigarettes the girls were still downstairs. Mark had pulled out a number of Roger's clothes that had been hanging in Mimi's closet. Once they made that into Mark's new office and his old office became Cass' room he could hang up stuff in there.  
  
Roger put on his black leather pants and a black and white shirt. He ran some gel through his hair, which needed to be bleached again. Maybe Jen will cut it this weekend for him.  
  
"I'm leaving Mark." Roger told him as he picked up his keys and wallet. "We'll see you later. I got my phone, call me if you need me."  
  
"Have a good time."  
  
Roger paused in the doorway. "Just be careful with Benny okay? I just don't trust him. Especially asking for favors. I'll see you later." Roger closed the door behind him and went down to Jen's.  
  
She opened the door and let him into her apartment. "Hey. Come on in. She's almost ready. Maureen's doing something else to her hair. You want something to drink?"  
  
"No I'm cool." He told her, dropping his cigarettes on the coffee table and sat down on the couch. "I do want you to cut my hair sometime though. It's getting too long again."  
  
"Okay, we'll do it this weekend." She told him sitting on the other end of the couch. They sat around talking for another ten minutes before Jen's bedroom door opened and Cass and Maureen came out. She had on black almost bell bottom type pants that laid low on her hips. The matching black halter- top tied around her neck and back. It was midriff cut and backless so it exposed her tan abdomen and her entire back.  
  
Roger actually remembered Maureen wearing the outfit Cass had on. However he never, ever remembered it looking anything at all on Maureen like it looked on Cass right now. Whoa was all he could think at that moment. All the bruising on her ribs had faded. He couldn't get over how hot she looked. Maureen had blown out her hair and pulled it back off her face, but left the back down and long. He had a feeling his mouth was hanging open and that he needed to say something. "Um, you, um look good." Was the best he could come up with just then.  
  
"Maureen," Jen said to her, "that was the first outfit you made her try on."  
  
"That's what I told her!" Cass laughed.  
  
"Well, I was having fun." Maureen told them. "The sucky thing is that looks better on Cass than me."  
  
"Uh huh." Roger said nodding his head.  
  
"Oh thanks Roger!" Maureen laughed.  
  
Oh shit, didn't mean to say that out loud. But yeah Maureen, way, way better. "Um, are you ready, I'm hungry." He could feel his neck starting to burn.  
  
"Right." Maureen said sarcastically. "Here's the jacket to go with that. I would keep it on. If not, keep the ties double knotted, so some unknown pervert doesn't try to undo your top. That goes for known perverts as well." She smirked at Roger.  
  
"Whatever, we're leaving." He grabbed Cass' hand and pulled her out the door. "Bye."  
  
"Bye you guys!" Cass said grinning, letting Roger lead her out of the apartment. She could hear Jen and Maureen laughing as the door closed behind them.  
  
They made it from Jen's door on the second floor, down the first set of steps to the landing before Roger stopped. He turned to her and grabbed her, pulling her into him and kissing her hungrily. "You look really good." He told her almost breathlessly.  
  
"You said that." She teased, pulling him towards her.  
  
"No. I mean. really good. really, really good." He barely stopped kissing her to get the words out. "Like incredibly.hot. good."  
  
"Thanks." She told him.  
  
Finally they broke apart. Roger gave her a cheesy grin as his hand traveled across her bare back and down her arm, over to her hand. Feeling he could finally move on for awhile he started to lead her down the steps towards dinner.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
About five minutes after Roger left, Mark heard the door again. He was grateful Roger had left when he did. Benny and Alison were standing in the hall. Mark had forgotten how pretty Alison was. And she really was a nice person. Mark would have helped her anyway, not necessarily because he was afraid of repercussions from Benny, but just because he actually liked Alison. He had never understood what she had ever seen in Benny in the first place. Why she stayed with him, and put up with all the crap he pulled and the way he treated her, Mark just didn't get.  
  
Alison looked sad and Mark could tell she had been crying. She was holding onto a small, fluffy caramel colored dog. The dog kept reaching it's nose up and trying to lick Alison's chin.  
  
"Hey." Mark said to Benny as he opened the door and let them in. "Hey Alison. "I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother."  
  
"Thanks Mark." She told him, petting the dog.  
  
Benny looked around the loft. "Where's your, um, friend?" He asked hesitantly.  
  
He used to by your friend too you fuck, until you, never mind Mark, don't waste your energy even thinking on that stuff. "He's not here right now."  
  
"Mark are you sure this is okay? Roger's not going to mind?" Alison asked him, setting the dog down on the floor and holding his leash.  
  
"No he doesn't mind at all. It will be kinda fun to have a dog around for a few days." He bent down and started petting the dog.  
  
"Yeah, well, are you sure the dog's gonna be all right? With him?"  
  
"Benny don't be an ass!" Alison glared at him, almost yelling. She was stressed out, upset and mentally exhausted and not in the mood for his crap. "You know perfectly well Roger would never do anything at all to Gerogio. And if you hadn't been so horrible and such an ass to him and everyone else, it wouldn't even be something you would ever have to consider. I'm sorry Mark." She apologized to him.  
  
"It's okay Alison. There's a lot of um, hostile history there, going way, way back to the very beginning." Mark sighed. "So how long do you think you'll be gone?"  
  
Benny started to speak but shut his mouth after Alison gave him an evil look. "At least through next weekend. They only think she's going to make it through maybe one more night, two tops. Then the funeral and such. I may need a few days to help Daddy take care of somethings then too. Is that all right? Do you mind that long?"  
  
"No, really. Like I said, it'll be kind of fun to have a dog around."  
  
"I really appreciate it. He would just need more attention then we would ever be able to give him with everything going on." She looked as if she was about to start crying. "Mark can I use your bathroom?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, sure. You know where it is. It may not look like it, but it really has been cleaned since the last time you actually stayed here. Maybe even three or four whole times." Mark smiled at her while still petting the dog.  
  
"Really?" Alison smiled as she stepped towards the bathroom. "A whole three or four times in all these years. I'm impressed." She left Benny and Mark alone in the room.  
  
"So." Mark said not really looking at him.  
  
"Yeah, so, um thanks for taking the dog. She really didn't want to leave him at a kennel. Him still being a puppy and all. And let's face it," Benny sort of grinned an lowered his voice, "Alison hasn't had the best of luck with dogs."  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Mark laughed. "She sure loves those dogs though. Like they're babies or something."  
  
Benny's eyes shot to the closed bathroom door. He looked back at Mark and in a real low voice, "Um, do me a favor and uh, don't bring that up. Okay? Real sore subject is all. Especially right now. Her dad called her about her grandmother like ten minutes after she got home from another bad doctor's appointment."  
  
"Oh." Mark said standing up. "Sorry. I didn't know."  
  
Benny shrugged as the bathroom door started to open. "So what's with all the computer stuff?"  
  
"Oh, ah, it belongs to a friend of mine. She um, had a small accident and a few problems and needed a place to stay for awhile." Mark wanted to give Benny as little info as possible.  
  
"What's she do? That's a lot of system."  
  
"I'm not real sure. Some kind of research I guess."  
  
Alison rejoined them and picked up Georgio. "Benny I can't believe you make them live like this! That bathroom is ancient! Is the rest of this building like this? God you really are a slum lord!"  
  
Mark was happy to get off the Cass subject. "It's not so bad, and the rest of the building is in better shape than up here. So is there anything I need to know?"  
  
"I wrote everything down. The phone number is on there as well." She pulled out a piece of paper from her purse. "The vet's number to. He can sleep in his cage if he needs too, or you can leave him out, whatever you want. You need to remember, he's still a puppy, so you may want to keep your shoes off the floor where he can't get to them."  
  
"Yeah I found that out the hard way." Benny scoffed.  
  
"A, yes, well I packed his chew shoe and toys, and plenty of dog food. Benny give him some money." She told him.  
  
He opened his wallet and looked into it. "All I have is three fifties." Benny told her.  
  
"Well give them to him." She snapped. "Mark we have got to get going. I," she looked at Benny, "we really appreciate it. I just couldn't put him in a kennel and considering you guys don't work regular nine to five hours, I thought of you. Somebody who wouldn't be gone for fifteen hours of the day and who would pay attention and everything to him."  
  
"Well it's no problem Alison. Roger and I are happy to help you out." Mark kept his eyes on Alison. He couldn't look at Benny and make his last statement. "Just call us when you get back."  
  
"Okay, we're leaving. Goodbye sweetie. Be a good boy." She hugged the dog. "Thanks again Mark. And please tell Roger that I really do appreciate this."  
  
"No problem. Good luck." Mark closed the door. "Well Georgio, it's just you and me now. And hopefully we'll live through the week once Roger finds out I did this." He laughed at his own joke as he started to unpack the bag of dog stuff.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
Roger and Cass walked down 11th street heading towards the subway. He had his arm around her as they talked and walked. Roger started patting at his pockets on his pants and shirt. "Um Cass," he said as he stopped and looked at her, "we need to go back for a minute. I forgot the cigarettes and my lighter at Jen's."  
  
She just laughed at him. "How did you forget your cigarettes?"  
  
"Well, I set them on the coffee table and well," he grinned at her, "I guess I got distracted by something."  
  
"Oh I see, well if that's the case, I guess you're forgiven. This time."  
  
They turned around and headed back toward the building. "Gee thanks." He told her as he hugged her close. "Cut me a break. I managed to remember my wallet, keys and pills. That's pretty impressive in itself, ask Mark."  
  
If I ask Mark he'll say it was your sub conscious telling you to quit smoking."  
  
"Probably." He laughed. "But I did actually remember everything including my cigarettes and lighter when I left the loft. It wasn't until somebody totally blew my concentration that I walked out of Jen's without them."  
  
"So it's my fault?"  
  
"Yep. Completely." He told her as he unlocked and opened the front door to the building. Cass was about to step through the door when she saw the two people coming out. She stepped out of the way, closer to Roger so they could pass.  
  
Roger was still laughing when Cass moved over towards him. Just then he looked up and saw Benny walking out towards them. Instinctively he wrapped an arm around Cass and moved her back some, placing himself between Cass and Benny. He didn't exactly glare at Benny, but he didn't exactly have a friendly look either.  
  
"Roger." Benny said, nodding and acknowledging him.  
  
"Benny." Roger never took his eyes off him. He didn't even see Alison at first.  
  
Alison sighed. She hated this stupid, childish behavior from supposedly grown men. "Hello Roger. How are you?"  
  
"Hi Alison." His eyes moved to Alison as he talked, but they kept going back to Benny. "I'm okay. How are you doing?"  
  
"Okay, considering the circumstances." She sighed again. "Listen, I told Mark before, and I really do mean this, but I really appreciate you guys helping out like this. We really appreciate it, don't we Benny?"  
  
"Yeah, thanks." Benny said sourly.  
  
"It means a lot to me." She gave Benny another evil look.  
  
Roger had no clue what they were apparently helping Alison with, but he wasn't going to let them know that. "Uh, yeah, no problem. Besides, you know Mark."  
  
"Yes, he is a sweetie." She smiled softly at him. "I'm glad you two are doing well, especially after, well everything." Her eyes hardened some for a second as she turned from Roger to Benny. She turned back to Roger. "Well, water under the bridge hopefully."  
  
You could feel the tension between Roger and Benny. Alison couldn't help but notice the protective way Roger was wit the girl he was with. Benny hadn't been that way with her since almost ever. She couldn't blame Roger for being that way around Benny either, not with their history. At the same time it brought up all the old pain Benny had caused her over the years. Why couldn't they just be happy? She got the feeling, oh so briefly before Roger had realized it was Benny, that he seemed happy. She was real glad for him, and had a feeling it had a lot to do with this girl he was trying so hard to shield form her husband, the occasional bastard.  
  
"Hi. I'm Alison." She said to Cass, ignoring Benny.  
  
"This is Cass." Roger told Alison before Cass even had a chance to speak.  
  
"Nice to meet you. Mark and Roger are really great guys. Your lucky to have friends like them." She put some stress on that last part. "Come on Benny, we need to get to Connecticut. Hopefully we can still get into the hospital without too much trouble."  
  
"Yeah, right." Benny said as they started to walk.  
  
"Thanks again Roger. Have a good night. We'll talk to you later. It was nice to meet you Cass."  
  
"Ah, you too." She said.  
  
"Yeah, bye Alison." Roger said. He had shifted as Benny walked past, as if trying to block Cass from Benny.  
  
They watched them get into the Range Rover and drive away. When they were gone she turned to Roger. "What was all that?"  
  
"That was Benny. Oh and Alison. You know, Muffy."  
  
"But what was she talking about?"  
  
"I have no idea, but I'd never tell them that. I guess we'll find out later."  
  
"Are you okay honey?"  
  
"Me? Yeah actually I'm fine. I refuse to let that idiot ruin our night though. Come on, let's get the cigarettes from Jen's and go eat. I'm starved." He grabbed her and started biting at her neck. She started to laugh. The more she laughed, the more he did it.  
  
"Well then let's go Davis! I want to go dancing." She started to run up the steps as he chased her. 


	36. 36

Chapter 36  
  
  
  
"You are so cute!"  
  
"I know I just want to squeeze him."  
  
"No chance you two are talking about me right?"  
  
"Dream on Cohen." Jen replied.  
  
"Sorry Marky." Maureen laughed. "Well you know about that guys and puppies thing. Take him to the park, you'll have girls all over you."  
  
"Yeah Mark. See worked already. One puppy, two girls, back at your place."  
  
"Great. It got me one super sarcastic Midwestern occasional man-hater and my ex-girlfriend, who by the way my father is convinced I turned into a lesbian. Yeah, working like a charm!"  
  
"So where do you think the love birds went for dinner?" Jen smirked.  
  
"I don't know. I still can't believe he actually took her out on a real date. That's just so not the former anti social Roger." Mark laughed.  
  
"I can't believe she looked so much better in that outfit than I do." Maureen pouted.  
  
"Get over it," Jen told her bluntly. "Because she did. And believe me, Roger noticed too. It was so cute Mark! The great Roger Davis, flustered! He was desperate to get out of there with her!"  
  
Mark would have loved to have seen that. Just imagining that was enough to make him laugh. Super smooth, super cool, super bad ass Roger, who could always have gotten any girl he wanted. Always knew exactly what to do and what to say, totally shaken by Cass. That was almost too much.  
  
His thoughts were broken when there was a knock at the door. Maureen, who was in the kitchen, went to get it. "Hey Joellen what's up? Come on in. You want something to drink?"  
  
"No thanks Maureen. Hey Jen. Hey Mark. I hate to bother you guys, but there's no chance Andrew and my sister were or are coming here? Maybe to pick up his drums?"  
  
"No." Mark told her. "Come on in and sit down. I haven't talked to Andrew since Monday night, and I haven't seen Jolene since the party. Why? Is something wrong?"  
  
"Only that some idiot at the café dropped my keys in the trash and I can't get into my apartment now. You guys are the closest to the café, I figured I would give it a shot here first. Maybe he'd be coming by for his drums, you know?"  
  
"Did you call Life Support? Is he working?"  
  
"He was, they think he'll come back by but of course no one knows. And I have no clue where to even begin looking for my sister."  
  
"Well try calling there again." Mark grabbed the phone and as he dragged it over the dog attacked the phone cord, tripping Mark. "Georgio no! Crap. Uh sorry. Here." He handed her the phone and picked up the dog.  
  
"Mark he's so cute! Where was he Saturday?"  
  
"Oh he's not ours, we're just dog sitting."  
  
"Marky we gotta go." Jen called to him.  
  
"We do?" Maureen asked confused.  
  
"Yes we do. Remember? You're going to help me do that stuff? Before it gets too late." She pulled Maureen's arm.  
  
"Uh- oh yeah, sorry. Brain spasm. Okay bye Mark. Good luck Joellen. Bye Georgio, you little cutie!"  
  
"Yeah we'll see you later. Bye Georgio." Jen petted him as Mark set him down on the ground. As soon as he did, the dog hopped onto the couch and jumped in Joellen's lap.  
  
"Sorry. He's still a puppy. Plus he just got here a few hours ago. I think he's a little excited." Mark picked him up again and walked to the door. He was about to ask Jen what she was talking about but she cut him off before he could speak.  
  
"Okay so bye guys!" She almost yelled. Then in a whisper to Mark, "See told you, guys and puppies!" She winked at him as she pulled Maureen out the door behind her.  
  
Mark closed the door and set the dog down again. Georgio immediately ran over and jumped into Joellen's lap again. "Sorry. Again." Mark told her as he rushed over.  
  
"No it's okay. He's really cute."  
  
"I think he likes you." Mark smiled at her. She is real cute. "So, um any luck?"  
  
"No he's not back yet. But I should go. I guess I can hang out there till he comes back by."  
  
"Well, you can wait here if you want. Watch a movie or something. We've got power tonight." Mark laughed and so did she.  
  
"So I see. Think it will make it through the night?"  
  
"Uh yeah. And tomorrow we've got an electrician coming so hopefully then, no more blackouts." Mark laughed again. "So yeah, I got deserted tonight anyway. Leave Andrew a message and just wait here. It's better than hanging out at Life Support all night."  
  
"That is definitely true. Okay. If you're sure you don't mind."  
  
"Nope, not at all. Besides, I don't think he'd let you leave anyway." He told her pointing at the dog that had curled up in her lap and gone to sleep.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
  
  
Roger ordered two more drinks and then moved back over to where Cass was dancing. He loved watching her move. As she turned around, he came up behind and put his hands around her waist. She looked up and grinned at him as she reached over her head and wrapped her arms around his neck. Roger leaned in and started to kiss her ear and neck while she danced right up next to him.  
  
"I got you another drink." He almost yelled into her ear so she could hear him over the music. He motioned back towards the bar and she started to move that way.  
  
He handed Cass her drink and picked up his own. "Are you tired yet?"  
  
"Nope. I'm wide-awake. It must have been my power nap before."  
  
The guy next to them got up and Roger pulled his barstool over and sat down. He pulled Cass over between his knees. "Are you okay?" He had his hands on her bare back under the jacket.  
  
"If you mean am I drunk, then no. Let's go with just a little loose. If you mean am I having a good time then oh definitely!" She put her right arm around his neck and leaned in and kissed him. Hard and with passion and need. "If you mean all that other stuff," she told him in a low, raspy voice, "then yeah, I think I'm okay. Really okay. Like maybe next step ready."  
  
"Really?" He asked her wide-eyed. "So you wanna get out of here?"  
  
Cass set her drink down on the bar. She leaned into and held him tight for a moment, taking in the feeling he gave her when he held her. "Yes, I think I do."  
  
He jumped up and tossed some money on the bar. "Baby you don't have to tell me twice." Roger almost knocked people over as he made their way through the crowd and out the front door.  
  
He knew he must have a huge stupid grin on his face. One that gets bigger every time he looked back at her. Roger slid the metro card throght the reader and let Cass go only long enough for her to walk through the subway turnstile. He slid it again for himself and grabbed her again as soon as he was through. Roger didn't want to let her go. He was afraid to. Afraid this was all a dream or something and if he didn't have his hands on her, he might wake up and it would all be gone.  
  
They got onto the waiting subway train. He led them to the far corner of the car and sat down, pulling Cass onto his lap. It was so late, the car was almost empty, only a few other people, most likely coming home from somewhere like them.  
  
"Did you have fun?" He asked as he started kissing her just below her neck.  
  
"I had a great time." She was playing with his hair and kissing the top of his head. "Thank you."  
  
"For taking you out? My pleasure." He told her, between kisses. "Believe me."  
  
She stopped playing with his hair and pulled back from him. "Well yes, for taking me out, but for everything else too."  
  
Roger just nodded. He didn't know what to say to her.  
  
"I mean it Roger." She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. "Two weeks ago I never could have imagined having a night like tonight ever again. Ever." She leaned back against him and wrapped her arms around his neck again.  
  
Roger hugged her tight and kept running his hand over her bare back. "Good. I'm glad. I.. I want you to be okay Cass. With everything. Him. Them. Italy. But especially us. I just want you to be okay." He stroked her hair for the next few seconds as their train pulled into a stop.  
  
They got up and climbed the stairs to the street. He pulled out his cigarettes and lit two, handing one to her. They walked most of the six blocks home in silence.  
  
When they reached the steps to their building she paused. "Can we just sit here for a few minutes? Have another cigarette?"  
  
"Sure." Roger sat on the step with Cass on the step below him, between his knees. He handed her a cigarette and lit it for her. He could feel her tensing up as he rubbed her arms so she didn't get cold. "Are you sure? I don't want you to do anything you're not ready to do. It's okay, really if you're not ready."  
  
Roger was ready. He knew that now. Especially after reading the letter from Mimi. He had moved on. He was happy. Cass actually made him happy. That was all Mimi had wanted. For Roger to know that she loved him and wanted him to be able to move on and be happy. To go on with his life, never go back to the horrible place he had been before. Cass was the answer to Mimi's prayer. Roger made Cass happy. Cass was what Mimi wanted for him. That would have made Mimi happy. All that made Roger happy. No matter what happened tonight.  
  
"I just want you to be sure you're ready." He told her softly. He wanted her. Badly. But not like that, not if she wasn't ready. The last thing he would ever want to do is hurt her. But maybe she wasn't ready yet, it had only been two weeks. Two weeks ago tonight for that matter. Someday she'll be ready. He could wait. She was worth it. He knew that. He had pushed past his own fears and was ready.  
  
No one knew, not even Mark, but Roger went and saw Elizabeth Wednesday before practice. He talked to her about Cass, and him, and him and Cass together. That had made Roger realize how badly he wanted Cass. He was willing to wait for her if wanting her like that made things worse for her. He was willing to go to Life Support and confront the realities of his own life. He was willing to do whatever it took to have Cass happy. And safe. Safe from them and him. If that meant going to Life Support, he would. For her.  
  
"No." She said softly as she leaned into him. "I need to. I mean I want to. I really do. But I need to too. Waiting won't make it easier. It will never get easier than it will tonight, with you."  
  
Roger wrapped his arms around her and stood them both up. "Come on, let's go home." He whispered into her hair. Silently they climbed the three flights of stairs. The loft was dark when they came in. Mark had already gone to bed. Between the moon and the streetlights there was enough light to see as they walked in.  
  
Cass went into the bathroom as Roger walked into what had become their room. All the clothes Mark had taken out of Mimi's closet were on the bed. Trying to be somewhat neat, Roger took them and put them on top of the dresser. He took off his shirt and threw it in the laundry pile in the corner. He tossed his leather pants on top of the dresser and sat on the bed to wait for Cass.  
  
When She came out of the bathroom she had washed off the little makeup she had on and undone her hair. Roger was sitting on the bed, leaning against the wall in his boxers. Even though the lamp was off, there was still enough light coming into the room to see. Cass kicked off her shoes and crawled onto the bed next to him.  
  
Roger put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head as he pulled her into him. He held out the cigarette he had just lit and she took it. They sat there sharing the cigarette in silence. Roger kept stroking her hair as they sat there.  
  
When they finished the cigarette Roger crushed it out in the ashtray. He shifted over and set the ashtray on the floor. He laid down and pulled Cass down next to him. Wrapped in his arms she felt safe.  
  
"Are you sure?" He whispered while softly kissing her neck.  
  
"Yes." She kissed him back. "I'm sure."  
  
"Okay. whatever. you want. Cass." He said between kisses. "Whatever. you. want. is. okay."  
  
She could hear her heart beating in her ears. She could feel the electricity as it ran from his fingertips when he touched her. As his hands came down her back and over her bare mid drift she felt her stomach quiver. She pulled him close, trying to almost melt into him. "Don't ever let me go." She whispered in his ear as she kissed it.  
  
"Never!" He told her as his hand went under her top as he nipped at her neck. His other hand went to her back and untied her halter-top. As her top fell away her rolled her on her back. "God you are so beautiful." He told her as his lips moved over her chest.  
  
She let out a low moan as he kissed down her stomach. He moved his hands over her hips to the edge of her pants. As Roger hooked one finger of each hand into the waistband of her pants he kissed her stomach again. "Cass?" He asked her in a throaty voice as he looked up. She nodded at him as she ran her fingers through his hair. Roger gently slid the black pants off her and tossed them to the floor. Cass sat up some to keep her hands on him. They went to his boxers and slid under the waist. She started to push them off of him. Roger helped her as he laid her back down. He reached over her and into the bottom drawer of the dresser next to the bed. He never stopped bathing her in kisses as he yanked open the drawer and pulled out the condoms. He ran his lips up to her ear and whispered into it. "You know I love you Cass."  
  
"I know." She whispered as she pulled him towards her. 


	37. 37

A/N Okay, something strange is going on with ff.net, and I can't seem to get the spacing correct between the chapter title and the story, and between the sections of this chapter. Sorry if it looks strange.  
  
Chapter 37  
Roger rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. He traced his finger down Cass' arm. "Are you okay Babe"  
  
"Yes, actually I am." She pushed him down on the bed and laid across his chest. "What about you?" She whispered.  
  
"Yeah, I am." He started running his finger through her hair. He felt her shiver and pulled the blanket up around them. "You want anything Babe?"  
  
"Just this. And you." She light ran her fingers down his chest. "And to take my contacts out. Too much smoke at the club I think."  
  
"As long as your content Baby." He laughed as he squeezed her.  
  
"I need to get up. Let me go."  
  
"Never."  
  
"Only for a few minutes. I'll be back. I promise."  
  
"You promise? Only a few minutes?" He pouted.  
  
She nodded and he reluctantly let her go. She groped on the floor and found one of his tee shirts. Roger watched her go and then reached for the cigarettes and ashtray along with his boxers. He sat back against the wall and waited for her. He heard the bathroom door open as he lit his cigarette.  
  
Cass walked back into the room. "See, I'm back." She climbed into the bed next to him.  
  
"About time. I've been lonely." He whined as he scooted her closer to him and handed her the cigarette.  
  
"Ow, poor baby." She smiled as she dragged on the cigarette before handing it back to him as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "You better now?"  
  
"Much better." He crushed out the cigarette before dragging them down into the bed and brushed her hair out of her face.  
  
"Good." She kissed his chest as he ran his fingers up and down her back. They laid there silently for the next few minutes. Cass heard Roger yawn and felt his hand on her back slowing and getting heavier. "Roger." She whispered.  
  
"Uh huh." He replied sleepily.  
  
"Roger," the whisper even softer this time. "I do love you."  
  
"I know Baby. I love you too."  
**********  
Cass heard the beeping and nudged Roger. She felt him move and the beeping stopped. He mumbled something and moved Cass closer to him. She was still half-asleep but she heard him mumbling. He moved over and buried his face in her hair.  
  
She started to fall asleep again when she felt him move again. She had just started to smile when she realized it wasn't Roger moving, but something else. In that spilt second she was wide-awake.  
  
"Roger! Roger wake up!" She yelled as she covered her face with her hands.  
  
"What! What's the matter?" He jumped up in the bed.  
  
"A rat! There's a rat on the bed!"  
  
"What?" Roger looked around and started laughing.  
  
"What's the matter? What's wrong?" Mark about fell through the door.  
  
"Come here." Roger said still laughing and snapping his fingers. "It's okay Cass, it's not a rat."  
  
"A rat? What are you, hey! How did you get in here?" Mark asked.  
  
"It's not a rat?" Cass opened one eye.  
  
"No," Roger laughed. "It's not a rat. I think it belongs to a rat though." He said as he gave Mark a look.  
  
Cass opened her other eye just as Georgio walked up and licked her face.  
  
"So Marky?" Roger asked.  
  
"Um, yeah, well, um." Mark babbled.  
  
"Well said Mark." Roger told him. "And you," he tickled Cass. "not afraid of rats huh?"  
  
"That's beside the point." She ruffled the fluffy fur around the dog's face. "The question is where did you come from cutie?"  
  
"Scarsdale, New York, but you already knew that. Now about the dog?" Roger said trying to keep a straight face.  
  
"Trust me, she was talking about the dog." Mark told him dryly.  
  
"But where did it come from?" Cass asked, laughing as he licked her face.  
  
"I'm guessing it's Benny's. Or more accurately Alison's. This the big favor Mark?"  
  
"See I told you it was a little favor. He only weights about ten pounds!" Mark gave a please don't kill me smile.  
  
"Funny. What's going on? And why didn't you just tell me yesterday? At least that it was Alison who needed the favor instead of him? And what was she talking about last night?"  
  
Mark's head shot up from the dog. "You saw them last night? What happened? Where?"  
  
"Relax. Nothing happened. Alison had him on his leash."  
  
"They both behaved Mark. It was okay. We ran into them on the steps when they were on their way out."  
  
"Oh, okay." Mark relaxed some. "Well apparently Alison's grandmother is dying so they're on their way to Connecticut and she wouldn't put him in a kennel. You know how she is, a little over protective about her dogs."  
  
"Just a little." Roger said sarcastically as he rolled the dog on it's back and rubbed it's belly.  
  
"Yeah well, cut her some slack on that. From what Benny said it sounds like she's trying to have a kid and it's not going too well."  
  
"Oh." Roger reached for the cigarettes and lighter. He felt bad for Alison for that. She really was a nich person. He couldn't understand why she ever hooked up with Benny. "Well, what she said last night makes a lot more sense now at least. How long do we have him?"  
  
"Probably till next weekend. You're not mad?"  
  
"Naw," he handed the cigarette to Cass. "I don't care. You should have just told me."  
  
"I know, I'm sorry. I mean I knew you wouldn't mind, once he got here and all, but I was afraid if you found out ahead of time you'd just freak out first."  
  
"What am I eight? You think I'm gonna throw a tantrum or something?"  
  
Mark and Cass just looked at each other and tried not to laugh. "So what's his name?" Cass asked, changing the subject.  
  
"Georgio."  
  
"Well Georgio, are you hungry? You want some breakfast? I need some food. Come on." She stared to stand up from the bed in Roger's tee shirt and boxers. "I'll cook breakfast."  
  
Mark was about to comment on her cooking when he saw her sway and grab the edge of the dresser. "You okay Cass?"  
  
Roger looked up from the dog when he heard the concern in Mark's voice.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine. I just got up to fast. Too many cigarettes not enough food." She gave them a small reassuring smile. "So? Frosted flakes or Captin Crunch?"  
  
"Captin Crunch." Roger answered as he watched her walk out.  
  
"Roger take your pills." She called from the living room as the dog ran after her. "Marky what do you want?"  
  
"Oh, um, nothing. I ate. And the electrician is here. He's in the basement."  
  
"With the rats?" Roger joked loud enough for her to hear as he finished his cigarette and reached for his pills on the floor.  
  
"So how was last night?" Mark asked in a low voice.  
  
"Cool. We had a good time. We went to a club on the west side."  
  
"Uh huh." Mark noticed Cass' clothes thrown in random heaps on the floor. "That all you did? Just go clubbing?"  
  
Roger could tell Mark knew so there was no point in even ignoring it. "No." He told Mark with a small smirk on his face. "That wasn't all we did."  
  
"Uh huh." Mark nodded at him before getting serious again. "She okay?" He whispered.  
  
"Yeah, she's okay I think." He smiled slightly. "Everybody's okay I think."  
  
Mark knew what he meant and was glad. Still worried, but somewhat less now. He started picking up Roger's boots and Cass' shoes off of the floor.  
  
Roger stood up and stretched. He grabbed a tee shirt out of a drawer and put it on. "What are you doing?" He asked Mark as he watched him dump the shoes on top of the dresser. "Because if you're suddenly inspired to clean my room, you're doing a crappy job."  
  
They walked out into the living room. "Oh, ah safety precaution." Mark saw the look both Cass and Roger gave him and he picked up Georgio's chew toy, which at one time had probably been one of Benny's shoes.  
  
"Probably something to remember." Roger laughed as he sat down at he counter and poured milk on his cereal. Cass handed him a cup of coffee as she sat down next to him. "Where's your breakfast? I thought you were hungry?"  
  
"So did I, but I guess not. I just want some toast and coffee."  
  
Roger just watched her for a few minutes. Something was up. She had been picking at food for a couple of days now.  
  
"So what did the electrician say?" Cass asked him, finishing her coffee and getting up to make herself another cup.  
  
"Not much. He got here around nine and has been in the basement since." Mark started to drink his coffee but set it down al of a sudden. "Crap. Roger you gonna be here right? This afternoon? I forgot about the electrician and I sorta made plans."  
  
"Yeah, we're gonna be here." Roger realized Mark was starting to turn pink and fidget. That intrigued him. "What kind of plans Mark? Work stuff?" He gave a look to Cass.  
  
"Um, no, not work, more like lunch."  
  
"You meeting Mo for lunch again?" He had a pretty good idea it wasn't Maureen, but he didn't know who.  
  
"No I'm not meeting Maureen." Mark wanted to drop it, and usually at this early hour of the morning for Roger at least, he could usually get away with that. He could tell today that wouldn't work. With either of them, because now, Cass was interested as well. "I'm having lunch with Joellen, before she goes to work at Life Café."  
  
"Really? She's cute." Cass said hoping up on the counter.  
  
"How'd you manage that? Where did you see her?"  
  
"Here, last night. She came over hoping Andrew might be coming here for his drums. Her keys got thrown in the trash at work and she had to find her sister."  
  
"So, during that five minute conversation you just spontaneously asked her to lunch last night?" Roger asked sarcastically.  
  
"Well, no, not exactly."  
  
"No kidding." Roger laughed at Cass, who grinned at that comment.  
  
"Well, she started playing with the dog and we were talking and stuff. And we ended up deciding we'd go to lunch before she goes to work today."  
  
"So did she ever find her sister? And get her keys?"  
  
"Oh yeah, I guess. I mean when I dropped her off at Andrew's her sister was on her way over."  
  
"You walked her all the way to Andrew's?" Roger asked.  
  
"Well the dog needed to be walked and all."  
  
"I'm sure." Roger smirked.  
  
"Whatever Davis." Mark walked over to the bathroom.  
  
"Why do you pick on him like that?" Cass asked from the counter.  
  
"Because it's fun." Roger laughed.  
  
"So what are we going to do today?"  
  
Just as he was about to answer her there was a knock on the door. Cass was still sitting on the counter, a few feet from the door. Roger watched her to see what she'd do. He knew she heard it but she didn't move, and neither did he. When the knock came a second time she hopped off the counter. Roger thought she was actually going to answer the door.  
  
"I'm going to go get dressed." She told him as she scratched below her neck. "Get the door baby." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked into their room.  
  
Roger sighed as he got up to get the door. He better tell Elizabeth about that, she's definitely not answering the door. "Yeah?" He asked as he opened the door.  
  
"Hey how you doing? I need to get into the fuse box in her for a few minutes. I'm gonna have to turn the power off for a few hours in a little bit too."  
  
"Okay, come on in. Can you give us a little bit before you turn it off?"  
  
"Oh yeah, I need at least 45 more minutes downstairs anyway. I just wanted to give you a heads up."  
  
"Yeah no problem. Anything for real power I guess." Roger let him in and went to tell Mark and Cass about the power. 


	38. 38

Chapter 38  
Roger shook out the blanket on the grass and sat down. As soon as he did Georgio ran into his lap. "This is weird." He told Cass as she laid back on the blanket putting her head in his lap as the dog jumped off.  
  
"What's weird?" She asked, petting the dog.  
  
"This. Us. Hanging out in Thompkin Square Park. With Benny's dog of all things!" He shook his head laughing.  
  
Cass laughed at him. "Well it was either this or sit home in the dark. Besides it's beautiful out, and I feel like I haven't been outside in the daylight forever. And it's not like either of us can work without electricity anyway."  
  
"I suppose. Just don't let go of his leash. God for bid we lose that dog. No one would ever believe it was an accident." He laughed.  
  
"Well I'd tell them all it was an accident." She looked up at him.  
  
"Oh yeah that'll help I'm sure! I can see it now. Everybody going on how Mark left Benny's dog alone with me and the only person that can give me an alibi is my girlfriend." He grinned.  
  
" I guess that wouldn't work huh?"  
  
"No I guess not." He reached over and pushed the leash down on her wrist. "That's why we'll make you totally responsible for the dog." He grinned at her.  
  
"Great! Just what I need." She told him sarcastically. "Write your lyrics Davis."  
  
"Fine." He bent down and kissed her on the nose. Roger opened Cass' bag and pulled out her wine-splattered book and his spiral notebook. They sat there like that for the next hour, Cass reading and Roger writing and re- writing lyrics.  
  
"Aggggh! This is impossible. I can't do this right now. This is a lot harder without my guitar." He tossed down the spiral notebook and after she lifted her head up he laid down on the blanket next to her. Cass had rolled onto her left side and propped her head up on her hand. "What are you reading?' He asked as he ran his finger along her arm and over her shoulder.  
  
"My book." She smiled as he started to kiss her shoulder.  
  
"Hey it's after one. And today's Friday right?" Roger sat up as he spoke. Cass nodded as she put her book down and sat up cross-legged. Georgio came over and sat in her lap.  
  
"If I ran to pick something up, would you be okay here alone? For like twenty, maybe twenty five minutes?"  
  
A look of panic started to cross her face. Roger could tell she was trying to force it back down. She had to stay by herself sometime. She said so last night, waiting won't make anything easier. He didn't want to push her, but why not try. See what happens. All else fails, he either wont' go, or he'll take her with him.  
  
"Where, where are you going to go?" She asked him, wide eyed.  
  
"Only like two blocks away. I need to pick something up and they said it would be ready today after one." He took her hand and held it.  
  
"What do you need to get?"  
  
"It's a surprise." He smiled at her. "If you don't want me to go I won't. But you're going to have to go outside by yourself one of these days Cass." He started stroking her hair. "And today's as good as any."  
  
"You'll only be gone twenty minutes?"  
  
"Twenty five max. I promise. And you can call me if you need me."  
  
"O-okay. I guess." She had a feeling she didn't sound very convincing. She just wasn't sure she wanted all that today.  
  
He could tell she wasn't excited by this idea and he felt bad now that he had brought it all up, but she had agreed to it. Sort of. "I'll be right back. And it's the middle of the day Cass. Nobody should bother you in the middle of the day."  
  
"I know. I mean I really do. My brain knows all this stuff. It's just." She trailed off.  
  
"I know Baby." He kept stroking her hair. "I know. It's freaky. Kinda like the first time I went out on my own after getting clean. And I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do yet. But you are gonna have to do it someday. Mark and I can't be with you 24-7 forever."  
  
"I know. I really do. And I don't want you guys babysitting my forever." She sighed. "I hate this! I hate feeling like this!"  
  
"I know Baby." He pulled her close and kissed her cheek. "But it's not gonna go away on it's own. You're gonna have to push past it. When you're ready, you'll get there. And I'll be with you the whole time." She nodded as he pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "Besides, last night was kinda the same thing, that turned out pretty good." He smiled at her.  
  
"That's true. I guess it did." She could feel herself blushing. "You're right." She told him more confidently this time. "It's okay. Go. Just come back quickly."  
  
"Quick as I can. You call me if you need me. It will only be like twenty- five minutes I promise." He kissed her. "And Life Café is just across the street. Joellen should be there soon. Even if she's not, you know enough of the people that work there. If it gets bad just go there and call me. Okay?"  
  
She nodded as the dog climbed in her lap.  
  
"And you got that vicious guard dog with you too." He grinned at her.  
  
"I know. It's stupid. I'll be fine." She told him, petting the dog.  
  
"Okay. I'll be right back." Roger kissed her on her forehead then reached down and flipped the dog over and wrestled with him, almost covering his body with his hand. "And you," he told the dog, "guard Cass. Anybody comes near her, you bite 'em in the ankle. Got it Killer?" Georgio growled back playfully as Roger shook him.  
  
He stood up, and started walking backward. "I'll be right back Babe. Promise." He turned around and almost ran out of the park.  
  
Roger felt like he forced her into this. He knew she'd be fine. And he had to do it. He would have to leave her alone sometime. It had to be better now than waiting forever and suddenly having to up and leave her alone with no warning. If something came up, now at least she would have stayed by herself. As far as he could remember, she had only been alone for about a half-hour the day Jason came to stay with her.  
  
Roger reached the shop he needed. Good, no line he thought. Cass hadn't called him yet either. Of course he'd only been gone about eight minutes. Okay Davis, stop arguing with yourself about this. You did the right thing. She wants to get past all this crap. She said so. She wants her life back to normal. You're just helping her along.  
  
This is no different than your sorry ass not wanting to leave the loft. Except Cass probably would eventually go out on her own. Left to your own devices Davis, you would have sat up there till you rotted away.  
  
Mark used to do the same thing as this. He was always trying to get you out. So this must be okay. It's basically the same thing. Except you were so damn stubborn, it never worked for Mark. Good thing you're more stubborn than Cass, or at least a bigger pain in the ass than Mark. The thought of that made Roger smile somewhat.  
  
Roger checked his watch. Just over twenty minutes. He reached the corner of 8th and B, just before the park. Cass hadn't called him. He could see her still sitting on the green, across the park. He stopped in the deli and bought two drinks.  
  
Cass was sitting on the blanket, petting Georgio's belly rolling him back and forth. "Hey." He said to her as he dropped down on the blanket next to her. "You okay?" Roger opened her water and handed it to her.  
  
"No problem. Of course I had my killer watch dog with me."  
  
"I can see where a vicious thing like that would be comforting." He joked, as Georgio curled up next to her and yawned. "I think all that protection is wearing him out."  
  
When Cass laughed he couldn't help but kiss her. He loved it when she laughed.  
  
"What was that for?" She asked him.  
  
"Nothing." He shrugged. "Just cause."  
  
"Oh I see. Now, where did you have to go?"  
  
"Nowhere." He grinned. "Did the electrician call yet?"  
  
"Yes he did, we need to go back soon." She just looked at him staring at her. "Where did you go? And don't tell me nowhere. I can tell you're lying by that stupid grin!"  
  
"Okay you're right, I lied." He teased. "I went somewhere."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Somewhere."  
  
"Oh you are impossible Davis!" She leaned forward to swat at him and he grabbed her and pulled her over to him.  
  
"Do. you . really. want. to know?" He asked between kisses.  
  
Just as he leaned in again, she pulled back and he lost his balance off the elbow he was leaning on. Cass laughed at him. "Considering you're being so secretive, yes I do."  
  
"Okay, okay. I suppose. If you're gonna make me tell you." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out the small box he picked up. "I got you something. Sort of."  
  
"What?" She grinned.  
  
"Well, um." Suddenly he got real nervous. This could go either way. Real good or real bad, depending on how she takes this. "If you hate it, or you're mad I did it, I'm sorry. I can have it undone. I just figured you'd rather have this than have it broken. And it wasn't until, well right now, that I realized it might make you, well, feel funny." His eyes were on the box on the ground.  
  
"Roger what is it?" She asked softly.  
  
"Here. Like I said, if you hate it, I'm sorry. I mean I hope you like it, but if you don't, it's okay. Really. And if you want it undone, that's okay too. Really. Just tell me."  
  
"How about you stop convincing me to hate it and just give it to me." She smiled at him.  
  
"Oh, sorry." He grinned up at her as he slid the box over to her. "Here."  
  
She just looked at him for a second before picking up the box. Roger never took his eyes off of her as she slowly lifted the lid. He watched the recognition come across her face.  
  
"Roger it's beautiful. How did you, where did you, why would you ever think I'd hate it?" She lifted her mother's rosary out of the box and fingered the beads. The rose quarts beaded together with slightly smaller white, pearl like beads.  
  
"Well you were so upset about your mom's rosary being busted, I felt bad for you." His eyes dropped down and he started tracing shapes on her leg with his finger. "See Mimi had her grandmother's rosary, and it's not like she ever went to church either, she just had it. Kinda like you. Just to have it. And then Mark found it when he cleaned out Mimi's room. And when I saw it, it seemed like a good idea at the time."  
  
"I love it." Cass whispered over the lump that had formed in her throat.  
  
Roger looked up at her. "You don't mind? That the white ones were Mimi's?"  
  
She shook her head and wiped away a tear that started to roll down. "No not at all. I loved Mimi. She was a sweetheart. Besides, she loved you didn't she? That makes her pretty good I guess."  
  
"So you really like it?"  
  
"I love it." She leaned over and kissed him. "Kinda like you."  
  
"Good." He kissed her back. "So now that I got you one of the most well know religious icons in Catholicism," he leaned in and started kissing her again, " you. wanna. go home. and do something. real. uncatholic?"  
  
"Agh! You are terrible Davis! 


	39. 39

Chapter 39  
"Ewwww. Morning sunshine. You must have had a good night."  
  
"Shut up. Please. Or at least abuse me quietly."  
  
"Wow. Little Marky Cohen with two hangovers in one week. After like 15 years, I've finally corrupted you." Roger laughed.  
  
"Remind me again why I'm friends with you?" Mark asked Roger as he flopped himself down on the couch.  
  
Roger brought him a cup of coffee and sat down in the chair, trying hard not to laugh too much.  
  
"Oh shut up. But thanks for the coffee. It may be more effective though if you just throw it in my face."  
  
"So what, or should I say who were you doing last night?" He laughed at his own joke.  
  
"Ha ha, very funny." Mark rolled his eyes at him. "I met Joellen after she got off work if you must know."  
  
"Impressive. Two dates in one day. So?"  
  
"So what? She asked me if I wanted to hang out with her and a few friends after they got done working. I forgot about the motto of all bar and restaurant employees." Mark told him. When Roger gave him a look he explained further. "You know, the night is still young at 2 am."  
  
Roger just laughed at him.  
  
"So where's Cass?"  
  
"Still asleep. I went to bed at like one. Not like there was anything around here to do. You were gone, and there was nothing on TV. And she was working all night. Something about time zones. I think she came to bed around six."  
  
"How did it go with Elizabeth last night?"  
  
"Actually pretty good. She doesn't go back for two weeks. Elizabeth is going on vacation, but she seemed pretty psyched about her hanging out in the park by herself."  
  
"Yeah, that's real cool. You say anything to Elizabeth about her not opening the door? Or going to sleep by herself?"  
  
"No." Roger looked down at the couch. "I didn't get that far. Plus I kinda thought I pushed enough issues in a 24 hour period."  
  
"Yeah, I can understand that. What time is it anyway?"  
  
"Just past noon. What are you doing today?"  
  
"Recovering from last night. Then Maureen's coming over for awhile. Which means later I'll be recovering from that. I think her and Joanne are fighting again. I think the Washington thing is stressing her out."  
  
"Yeah I was getting that. You wanna do something tonight?" Roger went to the kitchen and started digging through the fridge.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"You want some food? Now that we have and can use a microwave without blowing the power? We got left over pizza and left over Chinese."  
  
"Oh god no! That sounds disgusting right now!"  
  
Roger just laughed at him.  
******  
Cass rolled over and realized she was alone. She could hear Mark and Roger talking in the other room, but her head hurt too much to even try and listen. All she could hear was the voice in her head. "You've got to get up. You've got to get up. You've got to go to work." After a few more minutes of her own conscience badgering her, she finally sat up.  
  
Her head was swimming again. She was tired of feeling like crap. Maybe you should quit smoking again Cass. You didn't feel this crappy until you started smoking again. She spotted Roger's green fleece in the corner and pulled it over her head.  
  
She opened the door and walked into the living room. "Hey baby. You want some food?" Roger asked from the kitchen, taking some left over Chinese out of the microwave.  
  
"Not right now." She told him taking a cigarette off the counter and lighting it. "God that stuff stinks Roger."  
  
"Sorry. You want something else? Coffee?"  
  
Cass made it through the second drag of her cigarette before the nausea over took her. She dropped her cigarette in the ashtray and took off for the bathroom.  
  
"Are you okay?" Roger asked her through the bathroom door.  
  
"Just let me puke in peace. Please."  
  
"Okay. Holler if you need something."  
  
Mark didn't say anything. He just sat on the couch with the dog and watched. He knew she hadn't felt well the past few days. But what if she was sick. Mark was always worried about Roger getting sick. Cass being sick added a whole new element to that. Mark had seen them locked at the lips so much the past few days he couldn't help but worry. Whatever Cass had, most likely Roger was gonna get it too.  
  
A few minutes later Cass came out of the bathroom and sat on the couch. She pushed the dog away as he walked over to her.  
  
Roger handed her a glass of water as he stood over her behind the couch. "Are you okay Babe?"  
  
"Yes, it must have been the Chinese food we had last night."  
  
"Considering you only ate about four bites of it, and we both had the same thing, I doubt it." He told her skeptically.  
  
"Yeah Cass." Mark finally spoke up. "You haven't felt well for a couple of days now. When do you go back to the doctor?"  
  
"Tuesday." Roger answered him.  
  
"Well maybe--"  
  
"I'm fine." Cass cut him off. "Geeze will you guys just , I'm tired is all. Just let me get caught up on work and sleep and I'll be fine."  
  
"Okay, whatever you want babe." Roger told her. He saw Mark about to say something and shook his head.  
*******  
"Roger, somebody's at the door." Cass called to him from in front of her computer.  
  
"Well answer it." He called back from the bedroom. Hoping if she knew he was right here she'd get it.  
  
"I'm working."  
  
"So am I and you're closer."  
  
"I'm busy Roger." She whined.  
  
He sat there for another minute waiting to see what she would do. When she still didn't move, he put the guitar down and got up.  
  
"Oh for God sake, I'll let myself in. It's a good thing I still have my key." Maureen hollered at them as she walked in the door and slammed her keys down on the counter. "Where's Mark?"  
  
"He went to the Food Emporium." Roger told her.  
  
"Well where's Jen?" She demanded as she flung open the refrigerator and pulled out a beer.  
  
"With Mark at the store." Must have been some fight she and Joanne had he thought.  
  
"Oh." She flung herself onto the couch, grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV.  
  
"You okay Mo?" Cass asked her cautiously. Over the years she had heard a lot about Maureen's temper from Mark and Cass wasn't sure she wanted to deal with that right now.  
  
"I'm fine." She said in a tone that said she obviously wasn't. She popped open the beer and took a sip. She realized they were both looking at her. "Really. Joanne and I just had a small disagreement."  
  
"Really. I never would have guessed." Roger said sarcastically. Cass shot him a look for that comment. "Sorry." He said trying to sound sincere. "They should be back soon. Have a beer or three and relax."  
  
"Yeah, thanks. Sorry I'm a tad bitchie today. I didn't mean to bother you guys. I guess you got your computer all set up and running, huh? You all caught up on work?"  
  
"Hardly. That's gonna take like another week. But your okay, I was going to stop for awhile anyway." She said standing up. "Maybe I'll even get dressed at some point tonight." Cass said looking down and realizing she was still wearing Roger's boxers and green fleece over his tee shirt.  
  
"But it's only seven o'clock, we don't want to rush you or anything Babe." Roger said, coming up behind her and putting one arm around her neck and shoulders. "Okay, okay I get the hint. I'm done working, I'll go get dressed. I need to get up at six tomorrow anyway. "  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Work stuff. Time zones are a bitch." She shrugged. "I just need to get everything settled. Then it'll be okay." She told him, feeling like she had to explain.  
  
"Oh." He told her as he kissed her on her ear and tried to move her towards their room.  
  
"Mo are you going to be okay?" Cass asked as Roger started kissing her neck.  
  
"Oh yeah. I'm just gonna hang out and watch TV till Mark gets home."  
  
"Uh huh." Roger told her without ever looking at her and still kissing Cass' neck as she started to laugh. "Whatever. you. want.to do.Mo."  
  
"Oh for god sake get a room! Geeze!" Maureen kidded as she picked up the remote again.  
  
"Okay!" Roger agreed excitedly as he scooped Cass up and walked the few step towards their room.  
  
"Ugh! Heteroes!" Maureen mocked disgust as she turned back to the TV.  
  
Roger laughed at her comment as he kicked the door closed and tossed Cass on the bed and flopped down next to her. Cass hit the bed laughing then heard the dog yelp, which made her laugh even harder. Watching her laugh and hearing the dog cracked Roger up.  
  
"Oh Georgio! You poor baby!" She laughed. "Did mean old Roger drop me on you?" She rubbed his belly.  
  
"Oh, so it's my fault! Great! Again, just what I need, something happening to that dumb dog with me around." He grinned at her while playing with the dog.  
  
"Then I guess you better be careful around him." She petted the dog. "Isn't that right Georgio? You are so cute!"  
  
"So I've been told." He faked modesty and she just rolled her eyes at him. "Do you feel better Baby?" He asked her, stroking her hair.  
  
"Uh huh. I'm getting hungry too."  
  
"Are you okay Cass? I mean you haven't felt well for a few days now. And it seems like you hardly eat anything."  
  
"Yes, I'm fine. I think I've just been smoking too much lately."  
  
"Oh." Roger said as he put down the cigarette he had picked up from the floor and was about to light. "Sorry."  
  
She laughed at him as she rolled over and laid her head on his chest. "So you still want to go to the movies tonight?"  
  
"I don't know. It's up to you. You're the one who has to work at six tomorrow."  
  
"That's true. And my commute is hell at that time of day!"  
  
"You know it's a good thing you're cute, cause you're one hell of a smart ass Babe!"  
  
"Takes one to know one Davis!" She said scooting up and kissing him on the cheek, just as Georgio walked up his chest and licked his chin.  
  
"Yuck!" Roger said as he sat up.  
  
"Thanks!"  
  
"Not you silly." He said kissing her nose. "Him." He picked up the dog. "Don't do that, you've had Benny's shoes in your mouth. Yuck!"  
  
She smiled at him. "Let's just get something to eat and stay here tonight."  
  
"Okay." He grinned and pulled her on top of him, sliding his hands under her shirt and up her back. Georgio walked up to his face again and started to whimper and cry as Roger started kissing her neck.  
  
"Oh, I think he needs to go out." Cass said rolling off Roger and sitting up.  
  
"He can wait." Roger told her leaning into kiss her.  
  
"No he can't he's just a puppy."  
  
Roger rolled back onto his back and covered his face with his hand. "Aaaaagh! And I suppose I need to take him?"  
  
"Well, if Mark's not back yet, and I could get dressed while you're gone."  
  
Roger sat up and started to put on his shoes. "You know, I really, really don't like Benny."  
  
"But Roger, he's only a puppy. When he's gotta go, he's gotta go. Somebody's got to take him out."  
  
"Yeah and that's another reason to dislike Benny." He gave her a wicked grin. "Tonight, the dog sleeps with Mark."  
  
Cass just laughed as Roger picked up the dog and walked out talking to him about his lousy timing.  
******  
When the alarm clock went off, Cass woke up and tried to reach for it to turn it off, but before she could, Roger must have heard it. He pulled her closer, trying to bury his head between her shoulder and the mattress. The more she moved away from him and towards the alarm on the floor, the more he struggled in his sleep to keep her there.  
  
"Roger, I can't reach the alarm clock. Baby you have to let go." She finally pried his arm up and reached off the bed, hitting the off button. God that boy is strong in his sleep she thought. She watched him for a second while he slept. He looks like a little kid. His arm went out, blindly searching for her and his hand landed on her hip. He mumbled something that sounded like it may have ended in bed and tried to pull her back over by him. Cass took his hand off her hip and turned and kissed him on the forehead. "I need to go to work." She whispered to him.  
  
"Mmmmff."  
  
Cass picked Roger's fleece up off the floor and pulled it over her tee shirt. As she stood up the head rush she got lurched her stomach as well. She swallowed hard and held onto the edge of the dresser. Oh this is just really beginning to suck. Was getting back to work stressing her out this much? If Marguerite wasn't coming into the office on a Sunday to help her, Cass would have just climbed back into bed.  
  
The computers were on, they just needed to come off the screen savers. Cass hit a button and went to the counter for her cigarettes as she waited for email to come up. She started typing and was soon talking to Marguerite in France. Even though she felt like crap, she managed to get a lot of work done. By 9:30 she said good bye to Marguerite and got of the computer.  
  
Maybe you could try making breakfast again she thought. Mark would have to get up to take the dog out soon. And Roger had to wake up at ten anyway. After scanning the cupboard, and wanting to actually make something more than cereal, she settled on pancakes. They had butter and syrup, and the mix only needed water.  
  
Okay Cass, she told herself, you've got a pretty high IQ, you should be able to do this without burning yourself or the loft down. She got out the big flat fry pan and put it on the stove to heat. Meanwhile she mixed up some batter in a bowl and used a coffee cup to scoop it out and pour it onto the fry pan. As she made coffee she realized the more she was up and moving, the better she felt.  
  
She figured it must be time to flip the pancakes, so she picked up the spatula, and remembered to use a potholder this time to grab the pan. Two more days she thought, then I'll at least have my fingers back. When she went to shove the spatula under the first pancake she realized it was stuck fast to the pan. After mutilating the four pancakes in the pan, she scraped them out onto a plate.  
  
Before pouring the next batch in, she poured some oil into the bottom of the pan. Cass made herself some coffee while she waited. When she flipped this batch, they didn't stick, they were just real drippy with oil. After a lot of trail and error, and mixing up more batter, she finally had a few decent or at least somewhat edible pancakes. She poured another batch in and took her coffee and Roger's pills into their room. His watch was due to go off any minute.  
  
"Hey baby wake up." She shook him as she held out her coffee. "Here."  
  
"What time is it?" He asked as she sat down on the bed next to him. As if on cue his watch went off. He silenced it as he sat part way up against the wall. Roger took a sip of her coffee as she handed him his pills.  
  
"You're almost out of your pills."  
  
He could tell she was worried, and he kind of liked that. Not that she was worried, but that she was worried about him. "It's okay. I go back on Tuesday, remember? I'll get a new prescription then."  
  
"Sorry. I forgot. Honestly, I was really only thinking about how I'm going to get at least part of this stupid thing cut off." She grinned as she held up her cast.  
  
"I can understand that." He smiled back at her thinking back to his black eye, Mark's crack in the jaw, plus all the other whacks he's taken by accident while she was sleeping or whatever. "I think we'll all be happy when you get that whole thing off. You're kind of dangerous with it."  
  
"Ah yeah, sorry." She blushed, knowing what he was thinking. "What time is your appointment?"  
  
"I think your's is at nine and mine's at twelve. That should be enough time to get you back here before I go to the clinic. You're going to have to stay by yourself till I get back though, Mark's got to work. Is that okay?" He watched her eyes, knowing they'd tell the truth before her words did.  
  
"Well why don't I just go with you. I mean I don't mind staying here by myself. I'm okay with that during the day. Really. But I can go with you. You said it was a lot of waiting around. I can wait with you."  
  
"No." He said a little gruffer than he meant to. "I don't want you going there. You don't need that. It's not like some nice doctor's office. It's just. I just don't want you going there okay?"  
  
Cass was somewhat surprised by his reaction. She hadn't expected that from him. Not now at least. "Um, okay. If that's what you really want."  
  
"Yeah." He felt like he sort of jumped at her, but he really didn't want to be dragging her down there. He just didn't want her seeing that place. Not that it was that bad, Roger just didn't like the idea of the whole thing. "I'm sorry Babe. I didn't mean it like that. I just don't want you to have to go there. Okay?"  
  
"It's okay, I understand." She did somewhat, but not completely, however she wasn't going to press him. "Are you going to have time to come back here before band practice Tuesday?"  
  
He shook his head as he drank some more coffee. "No, I never know how long I'll be sitting there, so we have band practice on Mondays on the weeks I gotta go to the clinic. So tomorrow I've got practice and then I bartend."  
  
"Oh good, so Monday night you'll be home late, which means Tuesday morning you'll be your usual happy, chipper self when we have to get up early." She teased him.  
  
"You know us morning people." He gave her a mischievous grin as he ran his hand up her leg and drank more of her coffee. "So do you feel better today?"  
  
"Oh much better now. Of course I've been up for four hours too. But once I had some coffee my headache went away which really helped my stomach."  
  
"Did you throw up again?" He asked her, sitting the rest of the way up.  
  
"No." She tried to blow it off. "I told you once I had some coffee I felt much better." She said as she started scratching her chest.  
  
Roger was getting a bad gut feeling about the whole thing. Her not feeling good like that, for a few days now just wasn't sitting right with him. And what is she always scratching at lately? He knew her well enough to know she probably wouldn't even mention it to the doctor on Tuesday. Maybe it's a good thing he'll be there. He was about to say something to her about telling the doctor when suddenly a shrill, screeching sound pierced the quietness of the loft.  
  
"Oh shit! Breakfast!" Cass hopped up off the bed, followed by Roger who had started cracking up when he heard her say that and realized what the sound must be.  
  
Cass went to grab the smoking fry pan and pull it off the burner when Roger, who was right behind her, gabbed her by the back of his fleece she was wearing and pulled her back. He just gave her a look as he picked up the pan with the potholder she hadn't bothered to grab. "Didn't learn the first time huh?" He grinned at her as he nodded towards her left hand where the burn had almost healed.  
  
"Oh, ops." She shrugged. "Guess not."  
  
"Open the door."  
  
Mark had been getting dressed to take the dog out when the smoke alarm went off. He came out of his room followed by the dog. "Cooking again Cass?" He laughed at her as she bent down to pick up the dog. Mark walked over to the door still laughing as he watched her sit at the counter with Georgio.  
  
"You don't mind my cooking do you Georgio?" She asked the dog, trying to be serious.  
  
"Yeah, ask the animal that eats Benny's shoes. There's a good plan." Mark laughed at her. He started swinging the door open and closed trying to get the smoke out of the loft. Roger started laughing so hard at Mark's comment he almost couldn't jump up onto the counter to fan at the smoke alarm. The phone rang just then making them all laugh even harder.  
  
"Hello?" Cass said loudly while still laughing. "Um, he's a little busy can you hold on a minute.Oh no, it's okay he's just trying to get the smoke detector to turn off. Hold on one second."  
  
She moved the phone just as Roger got the smoke alarm to stop. "Hey Fireman Fred, your mom's on the phone."  
  
Roger almost fell off the counter when she said that. It took a second for it to register as he hoped off the counter. As he did he saw the two stacks of pancakes Cass had already made which started him laughing again. He had the feeling one was supposed to be the good stack, and one the mistake stack. Unfortunately he wasn't sure he would have been able to tell her honestly which one was which. "Hello?" He laughed in to the phone.  
  
"Roger? Is everything okay? Is this a bad time?" She asked.  
  
He could hear the concern and nervousness in her voice. "No it's okay Mom." He told her as he sat down at he counter and pulled Cass over between his knees. "We just had a small incident with breakfast."  
  
"Are you guys okay?"  
  
"Oh yeah, we're fine, we never actually got as far as eating the food." He teased at Cass. "Luckily it burnt up before we got that far."  
  
Mark stopped swinging the door and left it open to get the rest of the smoke smell out. He could tell even thought Roger was picking on Cass, he was having a good time joking around with his mom.  
  
"Hey, talk to your mom, don't pick on me. At least I was trying to make breakfast." She swatted at Roger as she announced she was going to get dressed.  
  
"Sorry Mom," He laughed, "Cass isn't exactly Betty Crocker."  
  
"Oh. Well I guess I should be relieved to know you have a working smoke detector."  
  
"Yeah, I didn't even realized we had a smoke detector. Must have been Mark."  
  
Hearing that Mark looked up. "Oh, yeah, after Cass' bacon and egg incident I thought it might be a good idea."  
  
Roger laughed. "Did you hear that?" He asked her.  
  
"Yes." She laughed. "I heard him. I'm also not surprised. At either of you I guess."  
  
Roger could hear her relaxing as she spoke and it was the first time he remembered hearing her laugh with him in he didn't know how long. This is actually going pretty good he thought.  
  
"And I guess I should be glad to know you have a stove too, not just living off cold cereal."  
  
"Yeah we still eat a lot of cereal." He laughed looking up at Mark. "Usually when Cass cooks. We try to keep her away from the stove, but sometimes she gets adventurous before we get up."  
  
Mark laughed as he looked at the plate of pancakes next to the stove. He picked up one that was dripping in oil, burnt black on one side and almost white on the other. Mark held it out for Roger to see. "Do you think it's safe to feed these to the dog?"  
  
Roger looked up at him while talking to her. "Un huh. Wait, hang on Mom. What?" He looked at Mark. "Oh, um, no, greasy burnt pancakes are probably not he best thing to feed him." Roger looked at Georgio who was sitting by his feet holding his leash. "But I think this is a hint that he wants to go out Mark."  
  
"Did you guys get a dog?"  
  
"No, Mark just got conned into dog sitting." He gave Mark a famous annoyed Roger look before going back to the conversation. "It's not too bad though. He's kinda cute."  
  
"Mark or the dog?" She joked.  
  
Wow, my mom cracking jokes. "The dog, definitely the dog. Mark's still ugly as ever."  
  
Mark couldn't get mad at the comment. He figured Roger's mom had made probably the first joke with Roger in about ten years. He went to his room and got dressed. When he came out they were still talking. "Georgio?" He called the dog who came running with his leash. Mark picked him up and walked out the loft with him.  
  
Roger lit a cigarette as Mark went out the door with the dog. He heard the water go on in the bathroom.  
  
"So, ah, how is your friend? The one with the cast?"  
  
"Oh she's okay. She got a new one put on. She's got like two more weeks till she gets it off."  
  
"That's good." She hesitated. "So, um, who's Cass? I mean, oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so nosey."  
  
Roger grinned at the mere mention of her name form his mom. This isn't so bad, if we would both just relax and stop stressing out over talking to each other. He wasn't sure if he was really ready to get into the whole issue of who Cass was with her though. "Cass? She, ah, knows Mark from way back. From when he first went away to school." That's the truth he thought, just not all of it. "She, uh, lives here too. She's really great. Can't cook to save her life though."  
  
"So I gathered." She laughed, partly at the statement, partly at the very evasive answer, but she wasn't going to push the subject. If there's more to tell, hopefully someday he'll tell her. "But everything else is good? You're playing?"  
  
"Yup. House band a couple nights a week, bartending a few too."  
  
"That's good. Real good. I'm glad." She said as her voice went up a pitch.  
  
Roger remembered this, she was building up to something.  
  
"So I talked to Mickey. He was really excited to find out I talked to you. He would really like to see you, or at least hear from you. He said something about maybe coming to the city to see your band someday."  
  
"Yeah, maybe. Someday." Whoa Mom, let's not get crazy here and go rushing into things. Talking is one thing, hanging out with is another. "What about Patrick?" He asked hesitantly.  
  
"Patrick?" She said with apprehension. "Ah, he and Shelly were both really glad to hear you're doing so well right now."  
  
"Uh huh." Translation, glad you're clean, but keep your distance you bastard. Don't take it personal Roger, you got that coming. "Look Mom, about the wedding, I'm real sorry. Really. I didn't, we didn't, we never should have come. I'm real sorry. We were really doing bad then. I mean that's no excuse and all, but it wasn't anything personal against Pat and Shelly."  
  
Roger let out a long sigh, no matter what happens, he'll never live down what he and April did to them. "We were just really, really messed up then. Mark tried to stop us from going. Really." Roger's streak of self- hatred ran through him as he thought back to that day. He and April, hurting bad, trying to get clean long enough to go to Patrick's wedding. And Mark, good-hearted Mark, trying so hard to help them as well as save Patrick and Shelly from them. To the point where Mark tried to physically stop them.  
  
Roger dragged on the cigarette as he thought back to that. Damn it Mark, never try and stop a hurting junkie who's almost six inches taller than you. What the hell had Mark been thinking? Roger knew what Mark was thinking, that's what made it all hurt so much. That, and he could still see the look on Mark's face. The look Mark got when he fell back into the wall. There's lot's of stuff Roger didn't remember, but that he'll never forget. The look on Mark's face and the feel of his fist making contact with Mark.  
  
"I know sweetie. Everybody's moved on, including Patrick and Shelly. It was a long time ago. Everybody is just glad you're doing so well now. Really."  
  
Cass came out of the bathroom and walked over to him. He pulled her close to him between his knees and held her there, resting his head against her chest. Cass didn't know what they were talking about, but she had a definite feeling that this wasn't an I missed you while you were out of the room hug. She could see it on his face, the pain in his eyes. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him on the forehead. "I love you Baby." She whispered into his other ear.  
  
Roger squeezed her tighter as he looked up at her. "Thanks Mom." He said into the phone, still looking at Cass. "And I am, really. And so's Mark. We're all doing real good now. Really."  
  
"I'm glad sweetie." She smiled on her end of the phone. 'We're all' implies more than just he and Mark she thought.  
  
The door opened and Mark came in with Georgio just as Roger's stomach growled. "Listen Mark's back, and seeing as how our breakfast kinda got destroyed," he winked at Cass, "we got to go out now. So I gotta go, okay?"  
  
"Okay. I'm real glad we're talking again honey. I've missed you. We all have."  
  
"Yeah, me too Mom."  
  
"I love you Roger."  
  
"Me too Mom. I'll talk to you later, I promise." He realized as he hung up the phone that he really did mean it. 


	40. 40

A/N My thanks once again to all my reviewers. It really helps keep me typing.  
  
To MorganaPendragon - this takes place about three and a half years after the end of the play.  
  
The next few chapters are building up to a high point in the story. I have a few chapters already typed and waiting to be posted, so I get excited for future chapters. So stay tuned, one of my favorite Roger and Mark confrontations and moments are coming up in the next week or so. I can't wait to hear what you all think!  
  
Thanks again! Love you guys!  
  
Chapter 40  
"Roger!"  
  
As they came through the door of the Life Café he turned as he heard his name called followed by a whistle. Seeing Jason standing up at a table in the corner he led Cass and Mark that way.  
  
"Okay, I gotta ask, what was all the noise this morning?" Leslie who was sitting next to Jen asked as she scooted her chair over to make more room from the two chairs Collins yanked from a near by table.  
  
"Yeah Davis, what the fuck was going on up there this morning?" Ginny said trying to sound as annoyed as possible.  
  
Roger smirked as he sat down next to Cass. "Ah, breakfast had issues."  
  
"Hence the reason we're now here for food." Mark grinned, trying hard not to laugh as he sat down between Maureen and Jen. "How did all of you end up here? And I thought you were supposed to be going home and playing nice or something." He directed the last part to Maureen.  
  
"I was, I did, and I'm back. End of story." She threw back the last of her bloody Mary and put the glass back down hard.  
  
"Okay, well let's just hope for all of our sakes there is truth to that whole safety in numbers thing." Mark joked at her.  
  
Maureen scoffed as she stood up quickly, grabbing her empty glass back up and headed towards the bar.  
  
"Not a good move Mark." Jason shook his head.  
  
"Yeah," Jen yawned, "be grateful for a change you live on the fourth floor. She would have had to bang on all three of our doors at three a.m. before she made it up to you guys."  
  
"Then why did she start at my place? We're on the third floor." Leslie asked.  
  
"I think she was 'confused' and thought it was my apartment." Jen said reaching for Jason's coffee when she realized her's was empty.  
  
"Well what happened?" Mark asked concerned. "When she left she was going home to talk to Joanne. Supposedly rationally."  
  
"Dah Mark! Obviously it didn't work! And on one of the first nights in weeks I get to sleep like a normal person." Ginny bitched.  
  
"As opposed to hanging from the rafters as usual?" Roger joked as he lit two cigarettes and handed one to Cass.  
  
"Fuck you Davis!"  
  
"Oh yeah, there's that sweet nurse like disposition all you patients are gonna love. You realize Ginny that bedside manner means being nice and caring towards your patients. Not how politely you pick your money up off the side of some guy's bedside."  
  
Ginny gave him the finger and drank her coffee. Cass could tell she was trying to act annoyed, but she could see Ginny smiling behind her cup. When Cass first met her, she thought Ginny and Roger really disliked each other, but in the few times they had been together since last weekend Cass had come to realize she was wrong. They have this weird relationship. Almost like they love to hate each other. They get this big kick out of insulting each other. Almost trying to see who can out do the other. If anyone else, even Mark, had said some of the comments and insults Cass had heard Ginny throw at Roger this last week, she would have expected major fireworks. But not Ginny. It was almost as if there was a strange kind of admiration from whoever won the so-called battle.  
  
Cass was glad it was just playing around. She really liked Ginny. She actually really liked all of Roger and Mark's friends. Aside from Giavanna and Marguerite and Mark, she really didn't have any close friends anymore. Not even close, just any friends anymore. Between travel and work she claimed to not have time. She knew that wasn't the only reason though.  
  
The last time she had a group of friend like this was when she was with her ex boyfriend Paulie. And even then they weren't really friends. There was Paulie and his cousin Brian and his girlfriend Renee of course, but then there was also the rest of them. The party people, the hangers on, the connections.  
  
Most of it centering around the drugs. Rich kids with nothing better to do then shove their money up their noses. Not so rich kids that learned how to party with and like the rich ones. Everybody looking for a good time. Everybody claiming to be one of your best friends. Especially when you had the liquor, or the pills, or the coke, or the party, or the credit card or the beach house or the shopping spree.  
  
The only ones that came to see her in the hospital right after the accident were Brian and Renee. And supposedly Paulie, but she never saw him. Whether that was his fault or her family's she would never know, and really didn't care. And by the time she got out of rehab, she had no idea what happened to any of them. They weren't her friends. They weren't even really friends with each other. Not like these guys were. Not like they all are with each other. Not like Cass wanted, and was beginning to realize she had actually found. Found with all of them, not just Mark, and Roger now too, but actually all of them. She couldn't help but smile at the thought of that while listening to all of them go on with each other.  
  
"Well maybe I should go talk to her." Mark said.  
  
"I wouldn't advise that right now." Collins said.  
  
"Yeah," Jason said holding up his now empty coffee cup to get the waitress' attention. "Safest thing to do right now is live in fear of Maureen for awhile. At least till this, whatever it is, blows over."  
  
Roger couldn't resists, he knew it would get him in trouble, but he had to open his mouth. "That should be easy," he said giving an evil grin, "Mark has always lived in fear of Maureen! How do you think they ever went out in the first place?' He started cracking up at his own joke.  
  
Collins almost choked on his orange juice at that statement. He knew Roger was right, but the more he coughed on the orange juice, the more he and everyone else started to laugh.  
  
"What the hell are you two laughing at?" Mark demanded from Roger and Collins. "You two never wasted anytime running and hiding in your room from her when we all lived together." Mark grabbed his coffee cup and stood up. "At least when I ran and hid in our room from her I at least got laid later that night!" He announced with a newfound sense of triumph as he walked over to Maruzen at the bar.  
  
For a change neither Roger nor Collins had anything to say as a come back, and seeing that just made all the girls, especially Cass laugh.  
  
Roger looked at Ginny and Jen. "What?" He barked at them before turning to Cass. "And what are you grinning at?" He said trying to sound mean, but tickling her at the same time.  
  
"Not at thing." She laughed. "Not a thing." Which only proceeded to bring about more laughter from everyone.  
  
After awhile Mark and Maureen returned to the table and the waitress brought their food and more coffee.  
  
"God I'm starving." Roger commented.  
  
"Me too." Mark agreed slapping butter on his pancakes. He stabbed one with his fork and held it up. "You might want to note Cass," he teased her, "pancakes are usually a golden brown color, not pasty white on one side and blackened on the other." He started laughing and Roger joined him.  
  
"Yeah these don't have that smoky aroma either." Roger picked on her.  
  
"Or accompanied by the piercing sound of the smoke alarm going off." Mark said, barely able to get the words out. The two of them started laughing so hard their faces were turning red.  
  
"Are you two finished?" Cass asked them. "Keep it up and I'll never cook anything for either of you again."  
  
"Promise?" Mark asked through a mouthful of pancakes, all of which brought about another round of laughter.  
  
"Mark!" Jen scolded him. "Be nice. I swear, what are you two? Twelve?"  
  
"Yeah Mark," Roger said between laughs, "What are you twelve?" The two of them started laughing so hard Mark was having a hard time breathing.  
  
"Great. I can see it now. A string of fart jokes and loogie contests are coming next." Ginny said. "Think we can convince them all girls have cooties and they'll leave us alone?"  
  
"Nope!" Roger told her as he and Mark started shooting spit balls across the table.  
*****  
As Roger opened the loft door, he hoped the dark living room meant Cass had gone to bed. He stepped the rest of the way in and realized no such luck. She was sitting at her computer with her feet up on the desk.  
  
He and Mark talked about it earlier, and Mark said he wouldn't sit up with her. He wouldn't let her sleep in his room either. They'd see if they could get her to go to bed on her own. Oh well Mark, once again, you're tough love theory is blown to hell.  
  
She didn't turn around when he came in and he thought she might be asleep in the chair. He set down his guitar and dropped his jacket on the couch as he walked over. Roger saw her head drop down then bob up again quickly. He could tell she was struggling to stay away.  
  
"Hey Baby, you awake?" He asked her as he kissed the top of her head.  
  
"Hey." She looked up and stretched out her legs.  
  
Roger pulled her up out of the chair and hugged her. "What are you doing up still? You've been up since six this morning?"'  
  
"Waiting for you." She said sleepily as she shivered. "Brrrr, it's cold in here."  
  
He rubbed her arms to warm her up. "Come on, let's go to bed." He walked her to their room and then went to take a shower.  
  
Roger walked back into the room in a towel. His hair was still dripping. She was sitting up against the wall with her head rolling sideways, still fighting to stay awake. Roger leaned in closer and shook his head showering her with water.  
  
Cass' eyes popped open. "Hey! What are you doing?"  
  
He just grinned at her as he dropped the towel and put on a pair of boxers. Roger crawled into bed and she laid down next to him. "Why are you still up Cass?"  
  
"Because somebody just gave me a shower. Ewww, Roger you're getting the pillows all wet." She moved over as he sat up and grabbed the towel off the floor.  
  
Roger dried his hair out and laid back down as she moved back over next to him. He had to talk to her about this not going to sleep thing. Might as well try now. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her almost on top of him. "Cass are you still awake?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Cass we gotta talk." He said and was surprised at how serious his own voice sounded.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Roger could hear almost panic in her voice as she tried to sit up, but her was holding her too close and too tight for her to move like that. "Oh nothing Baby, nothing like that." He started stroking her hair.  
  
"I just need to know why you're still up."  
  
"Because I was waiting for you silly."  
  
"No, Cass that's not it. It's just that, no matter how tired you are, you won't go to bed. Not by yourself. Not once since you've been here. You either stay up till I get home or lay down with Mark. Never by yourself."  
  
"That's not true. I just, I wanted to, I have so!" She tried to make excuses but was getting upset.  
  
"No Baby, you haven't, but it's okay. It's okay really. You just gotta remember that. Nothing is gonna happen here. I won't let it. Neither will Mark. It's okay here Cass. Really. You can go to sleep and not worry. I promise." He stopped talking to kiss the top of her head. "You gotta go to sleep by yourself one of these days Cass, but when you do, just remember we won't let anything happen to you."  
  
They just laid there like that for a few minuets. She didn't say anything. She didn't even make any noises. Roger just held her as he felt the tears run off her cheeks and fall onto his chest.  
  
"I just want to forget all that and move on. I thought once I got my cast off in two weeks, that would be it. The end. All that other stuff would be behind me and I'd never have to think or deal with it again. It's not going to be that simple is it?"  
  
"Probably not. But it will definitely get better."  
  
"Well I guess it couldn't possibly get any worse. And it already is better some. I got you out of all this didn't I?"  
  
"Yeah Baby, you got me." He told her, running his fingers up and down her back. "You got me." Roger meant it too, with all his heart and soul. He just couldn't help but notice that bad feeling returning to his gut though as he thought about what she said about things getting worse.  
******  
When Cass looked at the clock she realized the alarm wouldn't go off for almost another thirty minutes. She tried to remember what time Roger got home last night. Sunday night the band played but last night he bartended. He always gets home later on the nights he bartends.  
  
It was probably at least 3:00 am when he got home. That was a mere four hours ago. And then he lay there talking to her for awhile too. Poor baby, he's gong to be so tired today she thought. And he has to spend the entire day sitting around doctor's offices. But she had gone to bed at least last night. She didn't really sleep, not well at least, more like dozed off a couple of times while waiting for him to come home. But he did actually find her in the bed last night. And it wasn't like she was trying to stay awake. Her brain just wouldn't let her relax enough lying there by herself. It was a start at least, and he did seem really happy about that last night while they talked.  
  
Cass decided she could at least have some coffee ready for him. She climbed out of bed quietly, but as she stood and started walking her stomach started rolling over again. She headed towards the bathroom, followed by the dog who had been sleeping on the couch.  
  
She closed the door quietly and turned on the water in the sink. Hopefully, no one would hear her if she did actually throw up this time. Especially today she thought as she sat down on the bathroom floor, hoping the feeling would just pass. If they find out she's not feeling well again, they'll just make a huge big deal about it and Roger will make sure the doctor finds out, and then it becomes a big deal all over again.  
  
It's just stress, that's all. She felt like she was going to drown in work trying to get caught up. Not to mention life in general had hit a new high point on the stress-o-meter the last few weeks. Why didn't anyone believe her on that? Believe that she was fine? Believe that, that, that she was definitely going to puke again.  
  
When Cass opened the bathroom door, Roger was sitting at the counter smoking a cigarette, watching her. "Are you okay?" He asked her, never moving his gaze off her eyes. "Did you get sick again?"  
  
"Oh no, no I'm fine." She lied. "What are you doing up? The alarm shouldn't have gone off for like another five minutes. I was going to make coffee. Want some?" Oh way to obviously change the subject Cass. Ask eighteen questions and don't wait for an answer to any of them.  
  
"Yeah, coffee's good." He still didn't take his eyes off her. He knew she was lying about being sick again. If she doesn't say something to the doctor about it today, he will. Roger didn't care if it did piss her off.  
  
Mark got up at the smell of coffee and came into the kitchen. When Cass went to get dressed, Roger quietly told him about her being sick again and how he was going to tell the doctor. Mark nodded as Cass came out of the bedroom. Georgio came running over to him, dragging his leash and dancing around at Mark's feet. "Okay, okay, I'll take you out. Can I put pants on first?" Mark asked the dog as Cass walked back into the kitchen. As he stepped behind Cass, where she couldn't see him, he made a motion like he was holding a phone and mouthed the words 'call me' to Roger.  
  
Roger nodded to Mark. "You ready?" He asked Cass.  
  
"God yes! Think there is any chance I can convince her to cut the entire thing off? Not just the part on my fingers?" She smiled at him.  
  
"Probably not but good try though." He grinned at her. "Give me ten minutes and then we're out of here."  
  
Cass dropped the spiral notebook with Roger's lyrics in it into her backpack along with the guitar magazine he had been reading the other day. She opened the drawer and took out the envelope that had the cash in it her father had left. After putting some more money into her wallet, she dropped it and her book into the bag as well. She figured she would bring her book, just incase he changed his mind about her going with him and Collins to the clinic. 


	41. 41

A/N Okay, this begins my favorite part of the whole story. It builds up to the really good part, but that's in the next chapter. So you'll have to wait. But here goes! And my usual heartfelt thanks to everyone that has reviewed for me! 

Chapter 41

Roger realized he was wearing the same ripped jeans as the first time they came to the doctors' office when he caught the look the receptionist gave him. He threw it right back at her and kept the attitude up even after her's changed. And did it ever change when this time Cass not only had the insurance card Marguerite had sent her, but it was private insurance at that.

"Bitch." Roger said softly as he sat back down after giving the receptionist back the clipboard. 

"Behave." Cass told him. She was actually in a good mood knowing at least part of her cast would be gone today. 

"Sorry." He picked up her left hand that he was holding and kissed it. "I'm tired and grumpy I guess." Just then they called her name and she stood up dragging Roger with her. Good, he thought, then I'll have a chance to tell the doctor if she doesn't. 

After a few minutes Dr. Cole came in. "So you ready to get at least two fingers back?"

"You have no idea." Cass grinned. "How about we save time and just cut it all off now?"

"How about not." She kidded back at Cass. "Nice try though. And believe me, I understand. Three weeks before the end of my sophomore year of college I broke my wrist, hand and two fingers playing drunken volleyball." She laughed thinking back. "So not only did I have to take all my finals like that, I lived at the shore!" She said as if that explained it all. 

"You know, the Jersey shore, with the boardwalk. Haven't you ever been there?" When Cass shook her head Dr. Cole turned to Roger. "I know you're either a New Yorker or a Jersey Boy, probably from birth. What's wrong with you? Take this girl to the shore. I'm sure it would be an experience for her!" She laughed again. 

Roger couldn't help but laugh. Normally he hated doctors, just on principle alone. But he really liked this one. She was friendly, and down to earth. She actually talked to them, not at them. He was sure part of it was the fact she wasn't swamped with patients. Most of which couldn't afford the visit, let alone the advice being given to them. But other than that he just liked her. She was probably like that as a person too, not just a doctor. 

"So anyway," she continued as she got the hand held cast saw out. "School finishes, and I had big plans for that summer. Waitress at night at a boardwalk bar, and sleep on the beach and tan all day. Well that job was out, couldn't hold a tray." She kept talking as she cut at the cast. "So I ended up working days at one of the little boardwalk game booths. So my tanning days were then messed up, and there is a big difference in pay between the two jobs. And do you have any idea how annoying sand in your cast is?"

Cass and Roger laughed at her again as she finished up. "And mine was much worse. I wore that stupid cast till the week before school started! The whole summer!" She shook her head thinking back. 

"There. Free at last. At least somewhat. Let's see you bend those." As Cass bent her middle and ring finger Dr. Cole held her hand up and watched. "They'll be stiff for awhile, just take it easy till they loosen up. Two more weeks, you'll be done for good." She smiled as she started marking in Cass' chart.

"Great! I can't wait!" Cass looked at Roger and laughed. "Apparently that's a popular feeling at home." 

Dr. Cole looked up at Cass. "Oh really?" She turned to Roger. "She one of those dangerous types? Always whacking people and things with it?" Roger's laughter was all the confirmation she needed. "Yup, me too. I had more bruises and knocked over and broke more water glasses that summer. But you're not looking too badly beat up. This time." She said as she tapped her face next to her eye. Thinking back to his previous black eye.

"It was a lucky shot." Cass told her. "Which he leaned into."

"I'm sure." She smiled as she stood up. "Well anything else? If not, I'll see you guys in about two weeks."

"Nope." Cass said. 

"Yes." Roger said, not looking at Cass, only Dr. Cole. "She's felt like crap for days. Her head hurts, her stomach's a mess and she's throwing up." 

"Uh huh. What's up with that?" She asked Cass as she sat down and jotted more notes in the chart. "Any clues?"

"No, I'm fine. I just got all stressed out over a bunch of stuff with work, and my family was harassing me. That's it. I'm fine." Cass protested. 

"Well, let's run a few tests. Just to be safe. Make sure life didn't give you an ulcer or anything." She gave them a warm smile and walked out. 

"Why did you tell her that?" Cass asked him with a bitchy edge to her voice. 

"Because it's the truth. And because I knew you wouldn't." He didn't care if she was pissed. He wanted to know what was going on. If for no other reason, to get rid of the nagging gut feeling he had developed the last few days. 

Cass was mad. Maybe not mad she thought, but very annoyed. She had no plans of letting either of them, Roger or Mark off easy on this. She knew Mark was in on this as well. 

She was still sulking when the nurse came in with a blood drawing kit. As she set everything up Cass looked at Roger who was turning a little green. "Are you okay Honey?" She asked him."

"Uh huh." He told her while seriously studying the rip in the knee of his jeans. 

"Has anyone ever told you that you have good veins?" The nurse asked skeptically as she tied off Cass' arm and started slapping the inside of her elbow.

When she said that Roger looked up. He felt his stomach lurch. "I'll, I'll be right back."

"Guess he's not big on needles huh? Oh well, it's always the big, tuff ones that go down first." The nurse laughed. 

  
"Um, yeah I guess." Cass said suddenly way more concerned than annoyed at Roger as she watched him walk out. "But no, no one ever told me that about my veins."   
  
"Honey, they never will either." She shook her head. "You my dear, have crappy veins. And unfortunately we only have one arm to choose from. Make a fist a few times." 

After a few minutes she was able to get enough blood and was all done and packed up her stuff. "Give me a chance to run this through and Dr. Cole will be back in to see you." When she opened the door back up Roger was waiting there. "She's all done." She told him as he came back into the room. 

"Honey are you okay?" Cass asked him as he sat back down in the chair.

"Yeah I'm fine." He said a little too quickly. 

Cass got up and walked over to him and sat on his lap. "I'm sorry I got bitchy. I mean you were right to tell her I guess." She started playing with his hair. "Roger are you sure you're okay? I mean you looked a little peaked before."

Roger wrapped his arms around her waist. "Yes, I'm fine. I just, well I'm not real crazy about needles."

"You're kidding?" Cass almost laughed out loud before she realized how serious he was. "You mean now or always." 

"Well, always sort of I guess. But especially now I guess. And then when she tied you off and stuff, I just couldn't sit in here." His eyes dropped down to her lap.

She hugged him tight. "Oh Roger it's okay. I mean it makes a lot of sense, sort of. I mean you went through a lot to get clean and that's just stuff you don't want to remember."

"Yeah, I guess. I mean it doesn't bother me as much when it's my blood getting taken and all. I mean that will happen this afternoon, but I couldn't watch her do it on you." He leaned his head against her chest. 

"It's okay Baby." She couldn't help it a small giggle escaped her lips and he looked up at her. "I'm sorry Roger. Really. I mean I can understand. Completely. But I need to ask, did you really not like needles before you started using?" 

Roger had an idea where this was going and cracked a small grin. "Yeah, even before I was using." He shook his head. 

More giggles escaped. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh, but you do see the irony of the whole thing right?"

Roger had to laugh listening to her. "Yeah, yeah, I see it. A junkie who's scared of needles. Ha ha, very funny." But he was laughing harder now too. "What did the nurse say?"

"She said I have crappy veins."

He picked up her left arm and looked at it. "She's right." He laughed at the absurdity of his own expertise on the subject. "You do have crappy veins. You would have made a lousy junkie."

"Thanks, I think." She laughed as she squeezed him tight.

**********

One of the nurses took them to Dr. Cole's office instead of waiting for her in an exam room. It was a good size office with a large desk piled high with files and journals and things. Cass sat on the small couch in the sitting area bending her new found fingers as Roger wandered around looking at the various pictures and degrees that were framed and hung on the wall. 

"I don't know how doctors go to school for as long as they do. I never could have done that." He said shaking his head. 

"You and me both. I mean you've heard the sorted details of my sporadic if not erratic college career. I know I could never have handled all the years involved in becoming a doctor."

"Yeah well," he gave her an impish grin. "There's always the next best thing."

"And what would that be?" She asked suspiciously. 

"Well," He paused as he picked up a stethoscope off the desk; "you could always just play doctor." He gave her a huge, cheesy grin as he wiggled his eyebrows at her. 

"Put that down you'll get us in trouble!" She playfully scolded at him. "You are too much! Come sit down before somebody sees you playing with stuff and the bitch receptionist out there tries to have us arrested!"

Roger sat down next to her and reached across her lap for her right hand. He started playing with her newly exposed fingers, kissing them as she flexed them to work out he stiffness. He could tell she was edgy about waiting, but trying hard to hide it.

Finally, when she couldn't pretend any more she hopped up off the couch and started pacing around the room. "What is taking so long? I mean how long does it take to run a few stupid blood test and stuff? I told you I'm fine. I'm just stressed out, and this by the way is not helping." 

"I know. Will just let them make sure? Just to be on the safe side? Please? For me?" He pleaded.   


"I mean I'm fine. That's what's taking so long. It's the fact that I'm fine. They are going to keep running tests till they can find something wrong. All because you made a big deal about having a headache for a few days." 

  
"It wasn't just a headache and you know it." He started to defend himself. 

"Yes it was. That's all it was. A headache, along with a lot of cigarettes, which I could use right now, not to mention a little too much alcohol a couple of times in the last week."

He knew she was making excuses, and grasping at straws for those almost. "Damn it Cass! Can we just let them run the stupid tests and make sure you're not," he stopped in his tracks as the truth behind the nagging gut fear feeling rose to the surface of his mind. The thought he had been able to, for the most part, suppress deep back down. Back to that illogical area of his mind. The area that still housed the belief that you had to be careful. Careful not to think such things. Thinking it gave it a greater chance of being true. And here he almost went and said it out loud. 

She was just looking at him, waiting. Waiting to hear what he was about to say. Say something idiot. Anything. Anything but that. "Just let them make sure you're not sick or something." Well that sounded like a pathetic attempt to not say something. Roger could tell she was afraid of something. Afraid and didn't want to admit it, maybe not even to herself. He wondered if the thought he kept pushing away and hiding in the dark corners of his brain, was the same one she had running around in the dark areas of her's as well. 

"Fine!" She walked back over and sat down hard on the couch. She reached across Roger, grabbing his left wrist and looking at his watch. "We'll give them ten more minutes, then we're out of here."

He was about to say something back to her when the door opened and Dr. Cole walked in with her chart. Roger felt the anxiety run through her body. He twisted his wrist, which she was still holding and slid his hand into hers. As he interlocked their fingers with one hand, he wrapped his right arm protectively around her shoulder. 

Ignoring her desk and the chairs in front of it, Dr. Cole came over and sat in the small arm chair across from them. She set the chart down on the coffee table and looked up at them. "Well, I've got the preliminary results from your blood tests." She wasn't looking at them, as much as watching them, both of them. Their body language was telling her plenty, but she watched for more. She had had this conversation with many couples, and these two weren't that different. Many of them had similar reactions waiting to hear news like this. But with these two it was deeper, more intense. She could often sense the hesitation or fear involved, but Cass and Roger gave off a different feeling. 

It was a true fear, just not the usual sort. Not the 'my parents will kill me sort' or the 'how am I going to do this sort.' This was a different kind of fear. More of a dreadedness. She watched Roger's eyes go back and forth from herself to Cass and linger there for a moment, as if waiting to see what she may do. Cass on the other hand never looked up. Never moved. She just stared at he floor. 

"The lab will run a few more tests and we'll have the results to all those in a few days. However, we do know why you're not feeling so hot Cass. You're pregnant." She watched Roger's eyes close tight as he bit his lip as if trying to hold something in. She was getting a vibe of anger coming off of him, but not directed at Cass, more at some unseen person or thing. It totally contradicted the care and concern he expressed at the same time towards Cass. That, along with Cass' reaction, or lack there of, just put more confirmation behind the theory that had started to develop in her mind. 

"I would say a couple of weeks by the hormone level in your blood, but an OBGYN would be able to tell you better. Unless you know the conception date?"

Cass never moved, never looked up, almost as if she hadn't heard a word spoken and the carpet below her feet was the most amazing thing she had ever seen. Without taking his eyes off Cass, Roger slowly answered her. "Three weeks ago Thursday. I mean I guess it was Thursday, with Italy's time zone and all being ahead." He rambled on for a second, not even realizing as he did the math he was speaking aloud. "Yeah, Thursday night there would still be Thursday night here."

"Okay. Then almost three weeks pregnant. Look as your doctor, it's helpful to have all the facts, and sometimes those are hard to give. But am I safe in assuming there was more to the mugging in Italy than just a broken wrist and cracked ribs?"

Without looking up, Cass silently nodded her head. Knowing she wasn't going to get many answers out of Cass at the moment Dr. Cole turned to Roger. "Were you in Italy? Did the doctors there know what went on?"

"No." Roger said almost guiltily. "I wasn't there, but yeah I think they knew. She said it's just different over there, not like on TV in American ER's. But she didn't press charges against him or anything if that's what you mean."

She nodded at what Roger said. "Cass I want to run some standard tests. Normally the ER does that when you come in, but since we don't know what the hospital there did, I just want to be sure. Okay?" She asked her gently. Cass only nodded again. They talked awhile longer. She was glad to know Cass was seeing Elizabeth. She gave them a referral for the OBGYN in their practice and set her up with an appointment. 

"I know this is a lot to take in Cass. And you've got a lot to consider and a lot of decisions ahead of you."

**********

As the cab pulled up in front of the deli, Collins looked at his watch. "This is why I always lie and tell you it's a half hour early then it actually is. Come on, I'm starving. Hey Cass, I thought you were going home?"

Roger paid the cab driver and led Cass towards the deli door. "Something came up." Was all he said. 

Collins knew Roger well enough to know not to push it right now. Roger will tell him when he's ready. And Collins could wait till then. Whatever it was it was big.

They found a table in the back and Cass sat down. "What do you want to eat?" He asked her.   
  
"Nothing." She said. 

"Cass."

"Just get me something to drink." 

"You gotta eat something!"

"Don't yell at me. Just get me a sandwich then." 

"Okay. Fine. I'm sorry. Really. We'll be right back." She nodded to him and started staring out the window as they walked up to the counter and placed their orders. 

Collins still hadn't said anything besides his order. Roger looked at Cass and then back to Collins. "She's pregnant." 

Collins wasn't sure what he heard in Roger's voice, but none of it was good. "Oh. Wow. I'm guessing it's uh, it's um…"

"Yeah, it's his." Roger said. 

This time Collins recognized some of what he heard. He had heard it before from Roger. Anger. Pain. Even jealousy. He knew that it was directed at Anton, but Collins had a feeling there was something more as well. "What's she going to do?"

"I don't know. She hasn't made any life altering decisions in the last twenty five fucking minutes!" He snapped at Collins. Roger looked at he tray as the girl behind the counter put their food on it. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little pissed off at the moment." 

"Don't worry about it. You've got bigger issues to deal with than worrying about biting my head off. But can I make a suggestion. Don't bite her's off. She didn't do anything wrong. Especially to you." 

"I know. I know." Roger clenched his jaw as he spoke. "I swear Collins, if I ever see that bastard." Roger picked up the tray as he started to walk towards the table.

Collins grabbed his arm and stopped him briefly. "I understand. Luckily that will never happen. But you need to get over that. Quick. Because that's your issue, not hers. And she's gonna need you to help her deal with her own issues." 

Roger nodded. He knew Collins was right. At the moment that was about the only thing he knew. "Here, I got you a turkey sandwich and ice tea." He told her, trying to be gentle as they sat down. 

"Thanks." She said softly as she picked at the sandwich. They sat there like that for the next ten minutes not really talking, and barely eating.

"Will you eat at least half of it? Please?" Roger said looking at her barely touched sandwich. "So you want me to just take you home? I never should have brought you here anyway. Come on, we'll just go. I'll get you something to eat there."

Collins watched silently as Roger stood up. "Where are you going?" Cass asked as if she hadn't heard a word he just said. 

"Come on, I'll take you home."

"We can't. You can't. You've got an appointment."

"Screw it. I'll cancel it and get another one later. You don't want to be out here, I'll take you home." 

"You can't cancel it. You're almost out of pills. You need a new prescription."

"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it later."

"How? You can't." 

"Don't worry about it. This is more important. Come on."

"No!" She realized she had yelled at him when some of the other tables turned to look at them. "We're not going home. You're going for a new prescription." She said lowering her voice. 

"Then eat some of the damn sandwich!" He growled. 

"Fine!"

"Fine! God you are so damn stubborn!"

"And you're so damn agreeable to everything." She hissed at him, biting into the sandwich. 

If the whole thing weren't so serious, Collins thought it would actually be quite amusing. He had all he could do to stifle the laugh at the edge of his lips. 

"What?" Roger asked when he saw the look on Collins' face. 

"Oh, um, nothing. We need to get moving soon though." 

"We got time." He told him looking at his watch. 

"Not if you're going to whine about wanting a cigarette first." 

"I'll survive." Roger told him, watching Cass eat.

She finished most of her sandwich and they left the deli. No one spoke during the one block walk to the clinic. Cass walked with her eyes on the ground. Roger had his arm around her waist and never let go of her the whole way there. 

When they reached the clinic Roger took out his wallet and handed Collins his ID card. "Here. Sign me in. I'm gonna have a cigarette." 

Collins took the card and went inside. Roger sat down on the step and pulled Cass down in front of him. "Are you okay Baby?" He asked her, lighting two cigarettes and handing her one. 

Cass sucked on the cigarette as she nodded her head. 

"Cass, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to tell you. I don't even know what you want. Do you?" He asked her as he put an arm around her. 

She shook her head no and then just sat there smoking the rest of her cigarette. Staring out into the street. 

"It's gonna be okay Cass. I don't know how but it's gonna be okay." He kissed the back of her head and held her tight before resting his chin on top of her head. As they sat there Roger's phone rang. 

"What Mark? No, she's right here. I'll talk to you later. Bye." He hung up the phone and just sat there with her. 

"Rog you're up." Collins called from the doorway. 

"I'm coming." He said not bothering to turn around. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Come on inside Cass." Collins said. "I'm not back up for a while. You can keep me company." 

Roger stood up and they walked inside. "I'll see you in a little bit." He kissed her and went through the door to the back, stopping once to look back at them, giving Collins an almost pleading look. 

Collins wasn't sure what Roger was hoping he could do, but he figured he would give it a shot. They walked over to two empty seats and sat down. "How are you doing Cass?" He asked cautiously. 

"I'm okay." Her voice was almost emotionless. Numb. 

Collins figured she was still somewhat in shock over the whole thing. "I guess it hasn't really sunk in yet huh? The whole reality of all this. I guess you've had a lot of reality to deal with lately?" He realized he was babbling now and tried to refocus in a helpful direction. 

"Just remember, when it does sink in, the reality of it all, just remember you're not alone. And I don't mean just Mark and Roger. You've got Jason and me too. Not to mention Jen and Maureen and Joanne. No matter what you choose to do, we would all stand behind you." Collins reached over and lightly put a hand on her shoulder. "Really." 

"Thanks Collins." She was surprised she was able to squeak that out. She quickly wiped away the tears that had welled up in her eyes. She brought her knees up under her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs as best she could.

They called his name after awhile and he went inside, leaving her alone. Alone to think. No matter what you choose to do he said. Choose to do? That implies choices. What choices? Those weren't choices. The longer she sat there, the more abstract the things that went flying through her brain became. Anton. Italy. Roger. Mark. Babies. Cases of wine. Vineyards. Her mother. Sunday's at mass. Confession booths. Rosaries. Busted necklaces. Her father. Paulie. Coke. Mirrors. Straws. Screeching tires. Flashing lights. Hospitals. Rehabs. The smell of this place. Lines. Needles. Roger. Burnt pancakes. Smoke alarms. Cigarettes. She needed another cigarette.

**********

When Collins got into the back waiting room, he walked over and sat next to Roger. He had his head in his hands, and his elbows resin on his knees. "Hey."

Roger didn't even look up when he heard him. He just started talking, shaking his head at the same time. "I don't know what to do Collins. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to tell her. I don't know. I just don't know. What do I do?"

"I can't tell you that buddy. I mean you can't tell her what to do anyway. All you can do is support whatever she decides to do." 

"I know. But how…? But…? Damn it! I hate this. I hate this for her. I hate this for us. I hate this whole fucking thing." 

"Well, we can't change any of that. Like I said, all any of us can do is listen to her and support whatever she decides to do. Any ideas on what that might be?"

"No. I don't think she even has any idea yet." He snapped at him. "I'm sorry. I really don't know. I mean she got brought up really catholic, but who knows how much that will affect things in this case. I mean it's not like it's some guy she's been dating forever. It's her fucking step cousin. And he fucking… you know." He was getting defensive. 

"Yeah, I know. Just calm down a little. Can I ask you a question? Do you love her?" 

Roger lifted his face out of his hand and looked at him for a second. "Yeah, I do. I really do." He said shaking his head.

"Does she know that?"

"I told her if that's what you mean. I know I've only known her like two and a half weeks. But…"

"They have been very intense weeks. Yeah, I know. I know how that is. And how you are." Collins said with a slight grin on his face.

"Damn it. It's not like I don't already feel guilty enough falling in love with her, then this happens." 

"What do you mean?" Collins asked, somewhat confused. 

Roger dropped his head back into his hands and ran his fingers into his hair. "I mean, she's not like Mimi. Cass is, well, she's incredible." He shook his head. "I don't mean Mimi wasn't incredible. She was too, just in different ways. What I mean is, well Mimi was... I mean Cass isn't going to…" He shook his head again, pulling at his hair. 

"You mean because Mimi was positive and Cass isn't. You're worried about going off and dying on her?" 

Roger shook his head again without looking up. "You think it's any different with Jason? Why can't you just learn to be happy and grateful for what you have got? For however long you've got it. Cass isn't stupid. She knows that. Especially with the life she's lead. Just try and be happy with what you've got today. For however many today's you've got. That's all Jason and I do." Collins shrugged as Roger looked up again. 

"Yeah well, I don't see too much chance of Jason coming home with a kid someday." He said sarcastically. "I mean what if she wants to keep it? What then?" 

Collins shrugged again. "Uncle Mark and Uncle Roger? Or Uncle Mark and, well, you said you loved her. Do you lover her enough to take on somebody else's kid? I mean," he paused, "would you even want a kid?"

"Yeah, I guess. I mean yeah. I wouldn't mind it."

Collins had no idea where he was going or what he was talking about at this point. This was totally uncharted territory for him. Never did he envision having a conversation like this with Roger of all people. "Uh huh." That was all he could think of to say at that point.

"I know Cass can take care of herself. And I know she could take care of a kid by herself too. But what if that's what she wants to do? What if she wants to have it? And keep it? Where does that leave me?"

"I don't follow you?"

Roger was getting agitated again. He licked his lips out of nervousness so much today they were almost chapped. "What if she wants to do that? Bring a kid home and then I go off and die on it!"

Collins let out a long sigh. "I can understand that. But think of it this way. Is that so bad? For the kid I mean. I mean isn't a period of something that's good and decent, no matter how short, better than nothing? Would that be any worse than growing up with Anton? Knowing who and what he is? Or worse, then say growing up with someone like Jason and Jen's father?" Collins paused, not sure if he should make his next statement or not. "Or worse then having grown up your father?" He knew he hit a hot button with that last example, but he meant to. He hoped it would drive his point home. Literally. "Do you see what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He said hesitantly, as one of the nurses called his name. He stood up to walk into the other room but stopped first. "Thanks Collins." 

"No problem." Collins told him as he watched him start to walk away. "Roger!" He called to him. When he turned around he continued. "Don't go home and have this conversation with Mark. As a matter of fact, don't have it with anyone. Not Mark, or Jason or even me again. Tell it to her. She's the one that needs to hear it. And she's the only one that can give you answers."

Roger nodded in agreement. He knew Collins was right. 

********

Cass had no idea how long she had been sitting there like that. Staring. Thinking. Zoning out. Finally she heard Roger's voice. "Huh?" She looked up. 

"I said are you okay Cass?" He asked, the worry very evident in his voice as he took her hand and stood her up. 

"Uh huh. I was just thinking."

"Come on." He pulled her close as he wrapped his arm around her waist. "Let's go."

She started to let him lead her out but stopped all of a sudden and looked at him. She saw the tape on his arms from where they drew his blood. Her eyes slowly moved to his face. "Are you okay? Did you get a new prescription?"

He kissed her forehead. God he loved her. "Yeah, I'm fine. And Collins is gonna wait on my pills. He'll meet us at home later." He started to lead her out the door and down to the street again. 

They walked the few blocks towards home in silence. As they came up to Thompkins Square Park, Roger finally spoke. "Do you wanna go home or walk around a while longer?" When all she did was shrug he continued. "I just don't feel like going back there just yet."

He didn't feel like dealing with that yet. Roger wasn't ready to deal with Mark yet to be truthful. He loved Mark, but he knew what would happen as soon as they got there. From the moment the door opens, Mark would start in the questions. And that would be it. Question after question after question. Most of which he didn't have answers for.

And it wouldn't just be Mark. Jason would be there, waiting on Collins. Which meant Jen would most likely be there too. As well as anybody else Mark, in all his nervousness dragged into this, looking for him, Cass and answers. 

No, they couldn't go home yet. At least he couldn't. And he wouldn't send Cass up to deal with all them alone. Maybe they just needed to sit in the park awhile. Sit and talk. Maybe not even talk, just think. He knew that was the best idea right now. As mad as he was, home was the last place he should be. Roger just wanted to hit someone right now. Hit, scream, kick, fight, break things. And if he went home right now, he wouldn't be able to control all that. Mark would start with his thousands of questions and that would be it. That would do it. Roger was afraid if they walked into that, right now, he'd end up punching out Mark. He loved Mark, but he knew himself well enough to know, right now, he couldn't control the anger within himself. If they went back he would end up taking it out on someone there, and he was 99% sure that someone would be Mark. 

"Yeah, um, going home right now isn't the best plan. Let's just sit in the part for awhile okay?"

Cass never really answered him, she just let him lead them into the park. Roger found a bench and sat down on it sideways, letting Cass sit and lean against his chest. He wrapped both arms around her tightly and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. She held onto his arms as she pulled her knees up towards herself. 

"I love you Cass." He whispered into her hair. That was all they said. They just sat there like that. Watching the people cutting through the park as the sun slowly started to set.


	42. 42

A/N Here's to you guys that had that figured out! Glad you're liking this so much. We've got some exciting and intense stuff coming up, so stay tuned!

Chapter 42

Mark came out of the bathroom pulling his shirt over his head. His hair was still wet from the shower. "Are they back yet?" He asked anxiously to no one in particular. 

"Not yet. And before you ask, they didn't call either." Maureen told him looking up from the magazine she was taking her aggressions out on as she flipped the pages. Damn it Mark! How do you manage to always do this, she thought. You work your self up into a state, and somehow the rest of us end up getting there too. It's almost like we suck it up by osmosis from you! The only person that ever seems to be immune to that is Roger. How does he do that? More importantly, where the hell is he?

"Well have you heard from Collins yet?" Mark asked Jason who was working on something in his sketchpad. 

"Yeah Mark!" Jason snapped at him. "He called, told me everything that's going on, but I decided to keep it as one big fucking secret! What the hell do you think? No, I haven't heard from him."

"Fine! I'm sorry. I was just asking. I'm just a little on edge at the moment." Mark sank down into the couch. 

"No fucking kidding." Jason snapped back. 

"Enough!" Jen yelled at them both. "We will find out what's going on when one of them either calls or shows up. Not before. And bitching each other out until then won't help matters any." 

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." Mark said as he reached for the remote and started flipping channels on the TV. 

Jason really couldn't blame Mark for being upset. Mark hated and dreaded these days as much as Jason did. The sitting around, and the waiting for Collins and Roger to come home from the clinic. Waiting to hear about T-cell counts, and if their prescriptions changed, and if anything is wrong. Always knowing this time it could be different. This time something cold have changed. Could have gotten worse. Always knowing someday that it will. Always knowing that in the back of your mind lives that unrealistic wish that they would walk in and say it was all a big mistake and that they are fine. 

Yes, he and Mark were really in about the same place. Actually all four of them were pretty much the same he thought. Not that he ever thought of Mark and Roger as gay, but with the exception of the physical side of his and Collins' relationship, theirs was pretty similar. They were as committed to each other as he and Collins. 

Like Jason, he didn't think Mark could imagine life without Roger at this point. He figured the same held true for Roger about Mark. Even when they were in relationships. Granted Jason had only known Roger while he was with Mimi. But he had seen Mark date a few girls since he had been around. That one girl even somewhat seriously. But it never seemed to make a difference. No matter how into their relationship they were, and Jason saw Roger blow Mark off for Mimi often, it didn't matter. They were always there for each other. They always would be too. For however long always was at least. 

With Cass in the mix, he knew today was even harder on Mark. It was like he could see the movie that played in Mark's mind. Running through every possibility of what could have, or at least to Mark, most definitely did go wrong. 

Jason knew as well as Mark how much Roger hated going to the clinic. That was the reason Collins changed his schedule so they could go together. That was even before Jason was around and still, what four, four and a half years later it's still no easier on Roger. He still hates it as much. 

For Roger to have taken Cass there with him, something had to be up. Jason knew that. He also knew Mark knew it. And now Roger wasn't answering his phone. And they were late getting back. Damn it Collins where are you? Jason looked at his watch again and then back at Mark who was just sitting there blankly staring at the TV as he flipped over all the channels, not really watching any of them. 

"Yeah Mark, I'm sorry too. Here." Jason said as he signed his name on the sketch and ripped it off his pad, handing it to Mark. "Now you've got a signed Jason Sumner original. Hold onto that it could be worth money someday." He grinned. 

"Wow Jason, this is great! I mean really, really good." Mark said looking down at the sketch of his camera, surrounded by his glasses, an open pack of cigarettes, a book of matches, a coffee cup and a few guitar picks. 

"Wow!" Maureen said grinning. "Art at the loft. Who would have ever guessed? Big step up from Roger's old band posters you used to use to decorate and cover up the holes Benny and Roger punched into the walls."

Mark got up to look for something to hang it on the wall with and set the sketch on the counter. 

"That's really cool Jason." Ginny called from the kitchen. "This stuff should be warm in like another twenty minutes or so I guess you guys." 

"What exactly is that you're feeding us Ginny?" Jennifer asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "And why do you have an army sized portion of it?"

"It's Hungarian goulash and because I saw my grandmother last night." She shrugged. "What can I tell you, she's old, she likes to cook, and she thinks I don't eat. What she thought I could do with all that I don't know. My freezer is still full from the last time she made me meatballs." 

Everyone jumped just then as they heard the knock on the door. Jen answered it to find Joanne standing in the hall, holding her briefcase, and toting a suitcase. 

"Pookie!" Maureen hopped out of the chair wide eyed, dropping the magazine to the floor. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be getting on a train to Washington in like," she looked at her watch as a confused look crossed her face, "twenty minutes ago."

"I'm not going. Not this week at least. I told Steve something came up. He'll survive without me." 

"But, but, your job…" Maureen Johnson speechless. 

"It will still be there." Joanne said, setting her bags down. "And all I've been doing is working, or fighting with you. And when I talked to you before, you just seemed so, well, upset and well, here I am. Have they come home yet?"

"No not yet." Maureen said, sitting herself and Joanne down on the couch. "And Mark keeps calling, but Roger turned his phone off." 

As they all settled in to waiting again they heard keys going into the lock. Before it could get unlocked from the outside, Jen was off the barstool and opening the door. 

"Hey." Collins said walking through the door. "What smells so good?"

"Where have you been?" Jason asked. 

"And where the hell is Roger? And Cass?" Mark demanded. 

"The pharmacy was short handed, I had to wait awhile. And I had to stop back by school and pick up some papers." Collins scanned the group of friends, all of whom seemed to be waiting for something big from him. "Roger's not back yet?"

"No, they're not back. What's going on Collins? Why did he take her instead of bring her home? What's wrong? And where are they?" Mark couldn't have hidden the worry in his voice even if he tried. Not from all of them. They all knew him too well. 

"Um, well," Collins stalled. It wasn't his place to tell all this he thought. "He brought her because he didn't have time to take her home." That was true. "And she's fine Mark. She got her cast cut down. Roger's fine too. Everybody's healthy." That was true too, sort of, one of them was just currently a little more "healthy" than the other two. "As for where they are, I don't know. They left before me. I stayed to wait on our prescriptions." He said dropping Roger's pills into the kitchen drawer. "I'm sure they are fine Mark. They probably went for a walk or shopping or something. Did you call the cellphone?"

**********

They were sitting on the bench watching the onsetting darkness when Roger felt her shiver. "Are you getting cold?" He asked as he ran his hands up and down her arms to warm her up. 

"A little."

"I guess we should go home. Crap." He looked at his watch. "I didn't realize it was that late. Aaagh! Mark's gonna really start now. Well, don't worry about it, let's just go home. Okay?" He said softly, almost trying to convince himself more than Cass. 

All the way up the stairs Roger just kept telling himself to remain calm and don't take it out on Mark. High strung, over sensitive, over worrying, over protective, going to be a pain in the ass tonight Mark. He won't mean it, he'll just be upset. Just remember all that Davis. All he's going to want to know is where you've been, what happened, and is everything okay. Simple, that's it. Just remember he'll ask it by way of a thousand questions and it's only because he cares. Remember all that and don't bite his head off. Don't bite his head off. Don't bite his head off. 

As they reached the door, Roger saw it wasn't shut tight and he pushed it open for Cass to walk in. He was right, he realized as he looked around the room at everyone eating, it wasn't just Mark, Collins, Jason and Jen. Somehow he managed to end up having Maureen, Joanne and even Ginny and Leslie as well. 

"Where the hell have you been?" Mark yelled at him from the kitchen as he closed the door behind him. 

"Don't start Mark!" Roger told him trying hard to be firm but not mean as he watched Cass walk into the bathroom. He pulled out his cigarettes and lit one. Roger had a feeling it was going to be a long night and was suddenly grateful Cass had made him buy a carton of cigarettes. 

"No! You were supposed to be home like two hours ago! You were also supposed to call me back! Or at least answer your goddamn phone! As a matter a fact, you were supposed to bring her home this morning! So I'm gonna start! Where the hell have you been?"

Mark was yelling at Roger and Collins could see Roger trying hard not to yell back. 

"Maybe we should go." Joanne leaned forward and whispered. 

"It's either sit here, listen, try and be helpful or at least prevent Mark's murder, or we sit down stairs and listen to everything, including Mark's murder through my ceiling." Ginny whispered back. No one moved. They all just watched Roger and Mark. 

"Mark, I'm telling you, don't start right now." Roger told him again through his clenched jaw. 

"No! What the hell is going on Roger? Where have you been? What's wrong?"

"She's fucking pregnant okay!" He yelled back at him. "Shit!" Roger walked over to the counter and sat down. Dropping his face onto his crossed arms. 

"Pregnant?" Mark asked meekly. Of all the thoughts that had run through his mind today, that was never one of them. He never thought that. His subconscious probably would never allow his brain to go there.

Pregnant. Cass is pregnant. Fuck. Cass is pregnant. The words kept running over and over through his brain. And with each replay, stuff he never really wanted to see or hear again came with it. Stuff he really didn't think Cass was really up for dealing with right now. And it scared Mark. 

"How pregnant? I mean how far gone pregnant?" He asked Roger. Please don't say almost three weeks. Please don't make it Anton's. Pleas God. Make it some guy in a bar or something if you have to, just don't do that to her. Please don't say almost three weeks. Tell me two months, three months, nine months, even tell me it's yours. Just don't tell me almost three weeks and make it his. Mark silently begged all that from God and Roger as he stood there, unable to move.

Without picking up his head Roger answered him. "Almost three weeks."

Fuck! I begged you not to tell me that he thought. "So that means it's …" his voice trailed off. 

"Yeah Einstein that's what it fucking means." Be nice Roger, he's only worried about Cass. Be nice. 

Roger looked up when he heard Cass come out of the bathroom. She walked over and sat on the other stool next to Roger. 

Mark just stared at the two of them for a second. It seemed the three of them had forgotten everyone else was even in the room. "Cass what are you going to do?" Mark asked, hearing the edge of worry and fear return to his voice. 

"I don't know Mark."

"Well, what do you want it?"

"I don't know Mark." She told him quietly again. 

"Well do you not want it?"

"I don't know Mark." She was getting testy.

"Mark." Roger warned him. Don't bite his head off he told himself again. 

"Well if you don't want it, then get rid of it."

"That gets complicated, you know that Mark." She glared at him. 

"Leave her alone Mark." Roger warned again. 

Mark looked from Cass to Roger. Yeah he knew what she meant by complicated. He remembered. He remembered and really wanted to forget. Forget and never see it again. From either of them. But that was it. Suddenly he knew that was it, what his brain had been playing around and hiding from him. If it came to that, he would lose her there again. And he was pretty certain Roger would end up following her. 

"No. No it's not complicated. If you don't want it, you get an abortion. Period." The worry had left his voice and was replaced by anger. He could hear it. He could hear it and he didn't care. She almost died once. He wasn't going to watch her do it again. And maybe take Roger with her. 

"Mark I said leave her alone!" Roger yelled at him, standing up. He never expected this. Questions yes, but not this. Roger didn't know where it was coming from or what it was really about, but he didn't like it.

"Mark it's not that simple!" She yelled back at him wiping at tears on her cheeks. 

"No it is that simple. Do you want it or not? If you want it, then fine. If you don't want it, fine too. What do you want Cass?" 

"I don't know Mark! Maybe! Maybe not! I don't know!"

"Well if you don't want it, then you get a fucking abortion!"

"Mark shut the fuck up!" Roger yelled at him. 

"You know I can't just go do that." She cried. 

"No! It doesn't work that way. Don't go fucking hiding behind a bunch of ancient religious crap again. If you don't want it, you get a fucking abortion!"

"You don't know what the hell your talking about Mark." Tears were running down her face so hard now, she didn't bother to even wipe at them. 

As the conversation turned from a heated discussion to a screaming match between Cass and Mark, Jason had moved around to the backside of the couch, closest to Roger.

"I said leave her the fuck alone Mark!" Roger yelled at him as he went for him over the counter. At that Jason dove at Roger, grabbing him before he could get a hold of Mark. 

Collins was right behind him. He had never seen the two of the like this before. Ever. He knew where Roger was coming from, but not Mark. Mark, the eternal peacemaker. Something else was the driving force behind Mark at the moment. Something he didn't think any of them, including Roger knew. Except for maybe Cass. Collins stepped in front of Roger. "You guys, calm down."

"I know exactly what I'm talking about! Tell him! Tell him why you ended up in the hospital!"

"I was in a car accident! You know that!"

"Tell him why you were in a car accident! Tell him!"

"Cause her fucking boyfriend was wasted out of his mind on coke! Quit being a fucking ass Mark!" Roger yelled at him while struggling against Jason and Collins. 

"Tell him where the fuck you were going! Tell him why! Tell him how you almost fucking died! Tell him why Paulie almost got you killed in that fucking car!"

"It was a car accident and Paulie was wasted." She sobbed into her hands as Maureen walked over and put an arm around her. "It was just an accident. You don't know anything Mark." By now she had lost most of her strength to fight with him as she leaned against Maureen. 

  
"Mark leave her alone. You're just upset. Everybody's upset." Maureen yelled at him while trying to comfort Cass. 

"Bullshit!" Mark yelled, flinging the empty coffee cup he had been holding the whole time. He didn't even hear it break as he stormed into his room. 

No one knew what to do or what to say. They had never seen Mark like this before. Not even Roger. Jason was about to let go of Roger when Mark's door flew open again. 

Mark stormed into the kitchen carrying a videotape. He flung open a drawer and pulled out the envelope that had the remainder of the cash her father had left. 

"Fine! Deny it all you fucking want. All I'm saying is if you want it, fine. If you don't, fine get an abortion. But if you just want to make it and everything else go away, don't fucking do it here! I don't want to see it!" Mark threw the money down on the counter in front of her. "Got to the fucking park if you want! Somebody there will hook you up! Shove what ever the fuck you want up your nose! Just stay the fuck away from me then!"

He realized he was still holding the video as he continued. "Don't sit there an tell me I don't know! When you tape over something Cass, you ought to make sure the rest of the fucking tape is blank! He slammed the video down on the counter in front of her so hard everyone else saw both Cass and Maureen jump. "Yeah, happy fucking birthday to me! Don't you fucking dare go there again. Not here where I gotta see it!" He pointed at the tape and then flung open the door. "If that's it, and you plan on fixing it by way of your nose again Cass," Mark paused and looked at Roger. "If you take him with you, don't come back! Either of you!" Mark slammed the door and took off down the steps. 

"Fuck you Mark!" Roger was screaming at him and Jason and Collins had all they could do to keep him from taking off after him. 


	43. 43

A/N So now you see why this is one of my favorite parts of the whole story! Glad you guys are loving it so much. I figured I better update soon, before someone hunts me down looking for what happens next! Love this part!!!!

Chapter 43

"Get the fuck off me Jason! Let me go!" Roger growled at him. 

Jason looked to Collins who shook his head with a sigh as Jason released his grip off Roger. "Sorry man, but if I didn't grab you, your were going to hurt him. You okay now?"

Roger lit a cigarette and glared at Jason. "Yeah I'm okay. And don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt him. I'm gonna fucking kill him!"

"Oh shut up!" Maureen snapped at him and it wasn't with the usual selfish drama queen diva bitchiness. She was serious. Damn serious, and everyone knew it. She yanked the cigarette out from between Roger's lips and handed it to Leslie. "She wants a cigarette."

Leslie started towards the bedroom where Maureen had taken Cass after Mark stormed out before turning back towards Ginny who was talking her own cigarette out of Roger's pack. "Should she be smoking if she's pregnant? I mean that can't be good for her." 

"Oh and being made hysterical by two frigging idiots screaming at each other and her is so healthy?" Ginny glared at Roger while she lit her cigarette. "Yeah give it to her. One more won't hurt her, besides it may help her clam down."

"I'll take it to her." Roger snapped. 

"No you won't. She's in there trying to remember to breathe like a normal person again before she hyperventilates." Maureen stepped in front of him, joined by Ginny. "And she doesn't need any help from you right now!"

"Fine!" He moved the other way and threw himself down on the couch. "I'm gonna kill him Collins. I'm gonna fucking kill him." 

"Just shut up Roger! You are not!" Maureen stood there, hands on her hips. She hadn't been this mad at them ever. "Stop acting like some jealous little kid who didn't get told the big secret! He's your best friend for god sake! And if you stopped to think about it, that was about the most un-Mark like thing any of us, including you, have ever seen! Doesn't that tell you anything Roger?"

"Just that he's a fucking ass!"

"No dipshit! He obviously is really worried about Cass! And for some stupid reason, you too. Although after tonight I wouldn't blame him for never speaking to you again for being so damn stupid as to not see that! But we all know that will never happen."

"Go to hell Maureen." He told her blowing out smoke. 

"Where's the video?" Cass asked meekly as she came to the bedroom door. "I want to see what he's talking about." 

"It's right here sweetie. Are you sure?" Jen asked her. 

Cass shook her head as she walked over to the couch. Roger reached out to take her hand as she came by him, followed by Maureen, but she kept going. She sat down on the far end of the couch, trying to shrink into the cushions, putting Maureen between herself and Roger. She pulled her knees up towards her chin as Jason put the tape in the VCR. 

Roger got up off the couch when Cass blew by him. He shoved another cigarette into his mouth as he sat down at the counter and glared at Maureen. Trouble making bitch! Roger didn't know what to do. He was so pissed. Pretty much at everyone. Maureen, Jen, Ginny, Jason, Collins and especially Mark. What the hell was he thinking? Screaming at Cass like that? What the fuck is wrong with Mark? Hasn't she been through enough crap? Without him acting like an ass? And getting Roger caught up in it too. Great, we're the best she's got and we're fucking idiots. That's just perfect he thought to himself. 

"Okay. Here goes." Jason said hitting the play button. "What exactly are we looking for?"

"Well, he said something about the rest of the tape." Joanne pointed out. "About taping over something else. Try going to the end of whatever it is and looking after that."

"Happy Birthday Marky!" Cass' voice came out of the TV. Jason started to fast forward through the video, stopping every now and then at what he assumed were various friends of Cass' talking in what seemed like a mock type interview about Mark.

"Cohen?" Some guy with extremely blood shot eyes behind a desk said. "Oh yeah, when I first met him, I knew then. He was going to be bigger than Tarentino some day." 

Jason fast forwarded some more and stopped on a girl, poolside, in a very small bikini. "Marky?" She gave a big cheesy grin. "Oh yeah, I know Marky. Real well. I know Quinton too. Let's just say, there's no comparison between the two. If you know what I mean." She smiled and winked at the camera. 

It actually seemed like a very funny video, from the parts they were watching. Finally they came to what seemed like the end. Jason hit play again. Three girls in low cut bikini tops, leaning over on a bar to fully show their cleavage that had "Happy Birthday Marky" written across it. All waving and blowing kisses at the camera before the screen went dark. It stayed like that for about thirty seconds before suddenly cutting back on. It was obvious Mark's birthday tape had been put on another tape of a party. 

Right away it cut to a group of girls, Cass among them laughing and joking. Roger watched Cass. He could tell she was wasted out of her mine that night. She had that glazed look in her eyes. And all three girls kept wiping at their noses. 

After awhile it went back to Cass and the girls at a table, cutting up lines. A guy's voice off camera started talking, oblivious he was being recorded. 

"God Paulie you been playing with that thing stupid thing all night, will you put the fucking camera down."

"Come on Bri," the second guys' voice said, "this is the new one, it's got all sorts of new stuff on it." He zoomed in on the girls again as they continued talking off camera. 

"What did you get a new one for anyway?"

"Cass needed it for that thing she was doing. For that guy she knows, for his birthday."

"That stupid interview thing? What was that?"

"I don't know. He makes movies or some crap like that. She said he'd like it."

"Oh. Hey you got anything, or are the girls hogging it all?"

"Yeah here." He said as he zoomed in on Cass. "Oh baby. Damn she's never coming down tonight." Apparently, he set the camera down on the table, not realizing it was still on and recording. The two voices kept talking unaware.

"Is that so bad?" The first voice said slyly. "Come on Paulie spill it. Cass give blow jobs as well as the job she does on blow?"

"You are a sick and twisted man Bri. But damn she is doing one hell of a job on the blow lately." 

"She still knocked up?"

"Yeah, and it's costing me a fortune." 

They stopped talking for a moment. Roger could hear them off camera, snorting up lines. 

  
"Why won't she just get an abortion?" Bri asked. 

"Oh the damn Catholic thing. One lousy abortion would cost me the same as one night's coke binge. She's like tripled her lines and she still hasn't lost it yet!"

"What do you expect? It's your kid Paulie, it's gonna have a high tolerance." They started laughing. 

"Turn it off. We saw enough." Maureen told them, putting an arm around Cass, who was still just sitting there, staring at the duck tape on the arm of the couch. 

Jason reached up and turned off the TV and VCR. Just then the dog, who had been sleeping in on Mark's bed, came running in, dragging his leash. He ran over to Roger and sat at his feet. When Roger ignored him for a minute he started dancing in a circle and whimpering. "Go away." Roger told him. 

"Come here Georgio, I'll take you out." Leslie called to him. 

"I'll go with you." Ginny said, standing up. 

Roger just sat at the counter. He didn't know what to do. What to say. Cass hated him at the moment. Mark hated him at the moment. All of their friends probably hated him right now too. In the past he would have just taken off. At least for the night, maybe longer. But he couldn't go anywhere now. He couldn't leave Cass. He didn't want to leave Cass, but he couldn't either. Not now, especially with Mark having taken off. So he sat there, and waited. 

"Cass do you want anything? Something to eat maybe?" Jen asked, taking some of the dinner bowls to the kitchen. 

She only shook her head and continued picking at the duct tape on the couch arm. After a second, still without saying anything, she got up from the couch. With her eyes on the ground she walked into the bedroom and shut the door. Roger watched her close the door and dropped his face back into his hands on the counter. 

"Roger do you want some dinner. Something more substantial then nicotine?" Jen asked softly as she pulled one of his hands away from his face and held it. He just shook his head at her, before laying it down on his arms on the counter again. She knew he thought they all hated him right now, and they didn't. None of them did, she was sure of it. Convincing him of that tonight would be hard though. She started to clean up the broken coffee cup from the floor. "Seems like all I do up here lately is clean up broken coffee cups. You guys aren't going to have anything left to drink out of at the rate you're going."

Maureen got up form the couch and filled a glass with water. She set it down somewhat hard on the counter, slopping water over the sides and hitting Roger in the arm. He looked up at her and softly said "thanks" as he reached for the glass. 

If looks could kill, he would have been dead on the floor just then. "It's not for you, it's for her." Maureen told him. 

"Oh." Was all he said. 

Maureen waited a moment for him to do something. Finally she gave an annoyed sigh. "Well take it in there you big idiot! God are all straight guys as stupid as you two?"

Roger just looked at her for a second before he picked it up and walked into their room, closing the door behind him. 

Jen stood there, with her arms crossed and watched him walk into the bedroom. After the door closed she simply said "yes."

"Yes what?" Jason asked, confused. 

"Yes all straight guys are as stupid as those two." She sighed. "Unfortunately, few are as nice too." 

"Poor Cass." Joanne said sadly. "She's really been through hell."

"Yeah and now she lives with those two idiots." Maureen said sarcastically. 

"You lived with those two idiots." Collins pointed out. "Remember?"

"Yeah, yeah I remember." Maureen waved him off, flopping on the couch next to Joanne and leaning into her. "Do you think Mark's okay?"

"Would you be if the person you basically worshipped and idolized just told you to fuck off?" Jen asked from the kitchen. 

"Mark will be okay. Eventually." Jason sighed. 

The door opened and everyone's head spun towards it, hoping it was Mark, but it was only Ginny and Leslie with the dog. "Anything happen?" Ginny asked. "We hear form Mark yet?"

"No!" Maureen told her. 

"Where do you think he went?" Leslie asked Collins. 

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Movies? Bar maybe. I mean we're all here so it's not like he could go to any of our places." 

"But he might eventually." Joanne said. "Maybe we should go home just in case. I mean I really don't see him coming back here tonight." 

"That's true. Going home might be a good idea. But do you think leaving those two alone is a good idea." Jen asked, pointing towards the bedroom.

Collins stood up and walked to the kitchen, taking a beer from the fridge. "I'll stay here." 

Maureen looked up at Joanne. "Pookie would you mind if I stayed here awhile with Collins? I know you cancelled your trip and all, I'm just worried about Mark and Cass. And idiot boy too I guess. Would you mind?" She asked meekly. 

Joanne let out a small sigh. She had always known there was some strange bond between Maureen and Mark, Roger and Collins. She could understand Maureen wanting to stay. Besides, if Maureen went home with her now, they wouldn't talk anyway. Maureen would be two busy stewing over Mark, Roger and Cass. "No, it's okay. I'm gonna go home and try and get some stuff done so I'll be done early tomorrow then."

**********

The lights were off in the bedroom, but there was enough light coming in from the street to see. Cass was lying on the bed facing the wall. She didn't move when he came in and sat on the edge of the bed, setting the glass on the floor. 

"Cass?"

She didn't answer him. 

"Cass? Baby please talk to me. Please." He begged, lying back on the bed.

"We were going to the hospital." She said into the pillow. 

"What?"

"Paulie was taking me to the hospital. When we hit the pole."

"Oh." He rolled over next to her and carefully put an arm around her, hoping she wouldn't push him away. She just lay there.

"He was really messed up and he hit the pole. We had been doing serious lines and, and I didn't know Mark knew all that stuff. He was taking me to the hospital. I was having a miscarriage and we were so messed up. Paulie was freaking out and I was so messed up I couldn't even move." She started crying again. "God Roger, I'm so sorry. I was so messed up back then. But I couldn't get an abortion. I just couldn't."

"Shhh. It's okay Baby." He pulled her close. "It doesn't matter now." 

"I just couldn't. And we were already doing so many lines and were so messed up when I found out. I figured what was a few more? And the more I did, the less of a problem all that other stuff was. And it just seemed like the whole baby thing would just go away."

"You don't have to explain anything to me Cass. Especially about being messed up."

"But I couldn't get one and I just figured I'd lose it if I did enough coke. That was the plan. Do enough coke and it would go away. Then it wouldn't be an abortion. I wouldn't have murdered it." She couldn't stop crying as she spoke.

"It's okay Cass. I know Baby." He kept stroking her hair hoping she would stop crying.

"We were so messed up Roger. I was so messed up. I didn't mean it."

"It's okay Baby. Nobody's gonna understand that better than me." He whispered into her hair. "Really. It's okay." 

All of a sudden Cass sat up and looked at him. "I didn't know Mark knew all that Roger, I didn't know, really. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

Roger pulled her back down to him on the bed. "For what Baby, you didn't do anything to be sorry for." She started crying hard again. "Oh god I did. I didn't know Mark knew all that. He knew I was pregnant and he knew about the car accident, but I didn't know he knew the rest. I sent him that tape for his birthday, and we got into the car accident a few days after I sent it. I didn't know Mark knew all that. I didn't know that was on the tape. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry Roger. I'm so sorry."

"What Baby? Nothing is your fault. Nothing."

"Yes it is. Mark hates you now. You hate Mark. You both should hate me. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry Roger. I'm so sorry."

"Shhh Cass. It's okay. Nobody hates you. Especially me. Or Mark." 

"Right. I'm only the person that destroyed a life long friendship now that you and Mark hate each other."

Roger rolled back onto his back and let out a long sigh. "I don't hate Mark. I was just really pissed at him at the moment. Besides, it's Mark. How can anybody hate Mark? We'll be okay. Don't worry, okay Baby? Please?" Roger realized he meant it too. How can you hate Mark? Sure he can be annoying beyond belief sometimes, but he knew, no matter what happened he could never hate Mark. It would take more than this. And it would have to be something out of spite and malice. Roger knew that wasn't Mark. Mark could never do that. Ever. He may not always do what he does the right way, but it's always with the best intentions. Like tonight. Because Mark really does care about what happens to Cass. And to him. 

"And Mark will get over it too. Don't worry about us. I'll talk to him and we'll be fine. And nobody hates you either. Mark doesn't hate you. You know how he is. Right now he's hating himself for yelling at you. I can promise you that."

"But what about you?" She asked him hesitantly. 

Roger rolled onto his side right next to her. "What?" He asked in amazement. When he looked her right in the eye, she tried to turn her head away. He touched her chin and tilted her face back towards him. "Cass I love you. I really do. Even if Mark never spoke to me again, it wouldn't change that. Okay? Nothing will change that. Not this morning, or tonight, or whatever happens tomorrow. I'll still love you. No matter what happens. No matter what you want to do. Okay?" Roger wrapped his arms around her as he rested his head on her chest.

Cass' arms went around his back as she took another heaving breath. "You have no idea how much that means to me." They lay there, in the dark in silence like that for awhile longer when the bedroom door opened and Collins stuck his head in. 

"Roger, Izzy's on the phone. He needs to talk to you." 

"Tell him I'm busy. I'll call him tomorrow."

"I did. He says it's important. Real important. He won't tell me anything. Says he needs to talk to you. Now." 

"Okay, tell him to give me a minute." Collins nodded and closed the door. "I gotta talk to Izzy. Maybe he's seen Mark. I'll be right back." 

Roger got up from the bed and walked out to the phone on the counter. Collins was standing by the phone. Maureen, the only other person in the room, was right behind him, arms crossed over her chest glaring at Roger as he walked to the phone. 

"What?" Roger said, sounding more annoyed then he meant as he lit a cigarette. 

"Davis what the hell is going on? Are you okay?"

Roger was surprised at the sound of concern in Izzy's voice. "Um, yeah. Why?"

"Then why is camera boy almost passed out on my bar, mumbling about how he doesn't give a fuck what you two do?" 

"He's there now?" Roger asked anxiously. 

"Yeah he's here. He's not going anywhere fast. Believe me."

"Keep him there. Don't let him leave Iz. I'm on my way." Roger crushed out the newly lit cigarette as he hung up the phone. "I gotta go get Mark. Will you stay here with Cass Mo?" 

"Is he alright?" She asked. 

"I don't know. I guess. I'll find out when I get there." Roger went back into the bedroom. 

Cass sat up when he came into the room. "Is it Mark? Is he okay?"

Roger knelt on the floor next to her. "Yeah, he's at the Iguana. Izzy's gonna keep him there. I'm gonna go get him right know. Are you gonna be okay here with Maureen and Collins? Everybody else left I guess."

"I want to go with you." She said getting up. 

"No stay here. Please. I need to do this by myself. Besides, it sounds like I'll be carrying him home anyway." 

"Okay." She said somewhat hesitantly. "If you're sure. I'll be okay. Just hurry up and bring him home." 

He grabbed her and hugged her close. "Okay. Mo's here. I'll be back soon. It's gonna be okay Cass. I love you Baby."

"I love you too." She whispered into his ear, hugging him tight. 

"I gotta go." Roger told her, pulling back and kissing her on the forehead. She nodded as they broke apart and he went out the door.

Collins was standing by the door waiting for him, holding his cigarettes and lighter. "Let's go. I'm going with you."

Roger was about to argue with him, but changed his mind. He nodded as he took his cigarettes and walked out the loft door. 


	44. 44

A/N Thanks to everyone for all the great reviews! I told you this was one of my favorite parts of the whole story. I think it brings out a lot of the relationship between Mark and Roger. Well, keep reading!

Chapter 44

"Twenty thousand fucking cabs in New York and I can never fucking find one." Roger blew out smoke as he spoke for the first time on the twenty-five minute walk to the Iguana. 

"Mark always says you can never get a cab when you're around."

"Very fucking funny Collins." 

"Sorry. Are you okay?"

"I'm not planning on beating Mark's skull in anymore if that's what you mean."

"I figured, but yes, pretty much that is what I meant. You know Mark didn't mean to do any of what happened tonight, don't you? He only meant to make sure Cass was going to be okay. And you too, you big stubborn, pain in the ass."

"I know." Roger said sullenly, not looking at Collins. 

"Mark's just, well passionate. And extremely intense on stuff he cares about." 

"No kidding." Roger said dryly. 

"Well, yeah. Intense. Passionate." He paused as he looked at Roger as they walked. "And previously burned."

They walked for a moment before Roger answered, looking straight ahead. "Yeah, I know." He said slowly as he flicked out his cigarette. They walked the rest of the way in silence till they reached the bar. 

"Hey Rog! You want anything?"

"No. Where's Izzy at Dave? And Mark?" He asked the bartender. 

"Izzy took him in back a little while ago. Afraid he was gonna toss his cookies I think." 

"Thanks." Roger walked into the back. "Iz?" He hollered over the music being played. 

"Back here Davis." Izzy called. "Now what the hell is going on?"

"Long story. I'll tell you later. Where is he?"

"He's in my office, with his head hung over the wastebasket."

"Great. What was he drinking?"

"Screwdrivers. And a few shots. Dave started feeding him orange juice and water instead of vodka after I talked to you." 

"Lovely." Roger pushed open the office door. Mark was siting at Izzy's desk, his head resting on his arms. 

"Hey Mark, how you feeling buddy?"

Mark looked up from the desk as Roger walked into the room. "Are you gonna beat the crap out of me now?" He slurred at Roger, taking off his glasses. 

Roger grinned slightly. "No, you'll be punished enough tomorrow when you wake up." He hoisted him out of the chair and led him out of the office and down the hall. "Thanks Iz. I'll talk to you later. We'll go out the back." 

"No problem. You're gonna be able to pull all your shit together to play tomorrow night right?"

"Yeah." 

"Good." Izzy grinned. "You can settle up his tab then." 

"Whatever." Roger shook his head. He was glad to know at least Izzy wasn't pissed at him. "We're out of here. Let's go Marky." He said as Mark slumped against him and he gave him a shove over, knocking him into Collins. "I'll be there Iz. Don't worry."

"Hey Collins." Mark slurred at him as Collins held him up some. "If Roger's gonna hit me, will you take my glasses first?" 

"I think your safe Mark. He seems to be somewhat rational. For Roger at least." Collins grinned at Roger as they stepped out into the alley. 

"That's good I guess." He slurred. "We okay?"

"Yeah, we're okay. Come on let's go home Marky."

"Good." Mark stopped walking for a moment. "Roger?"

"What?"

"I'm gonna puke."

"Yeah." Roger said, holding onto the back of Mark's shirt as he leaned him over and pointed him towards the wall of the Iguana. "I guess I deserve that." 

**********

God TV is pathetic Maureen thought to herself, flinging the remote onto the couch. Where are they? Why aren't they back yet? They have been gone, okay only about fifteen minutes, she realized looking at her watch. Okay so TV and and Maureen Johnson are pathetic. Real good, you can't even sit by yourself for fifteen minutes before having to go and bother the poor pregnant girl who's been through hell tonight she thought as she walked towards the bedroom. 

Just as she was about to open the door, the phone rang making her jump. "Hello?" She asked a little more anxious sounding then she meant. 

Cass heard the phone ring and Maureen talking. She couldn't lay there any longer. She got up and went into the living room just as Maureen hung up the phone. 

"Hey sweetie, how are you?"

"Was that Roger? Does he have Mark?"

"No. That was only Jen. But I'm sure they'll be back soon." I hope.

"Oh." Cass dropped onto the couch. "Mo are they really gonna be okay?"

"What?" Maureen went over and sat next to her on the couch. "Oh honey those two idiots will be fine. Roger already calmed down, in record time no less. And Mark, well give him a day or two to get over yelling at you guys and he'll be fine too. Then they do that stupid macho guy thing, 'Yo dude we cool? Yeah dude, no problem.' Then they punch each other in the arm." She laughed. 

"I guess you're right." 

Maureen thought Cass was about to start crying. She put an arm around her. "Sweetie it's gonna be okay. Really." 

"How? How is it going to be okay? Mark has to hate me." She started crying. "I never knew he knew any of that stuff. Really I didn't Maureen. I tried to forget all that stuff. You guys must think I'm horrible." She buried her face in her hands. 

"Oh Cass, we never thought that and nobody ever would. I mean look around at the people we hang around with. Our friends really don't have a whole lot of room to be judging people. Besides, for the most part we are all most of us has got. It wouldn't do any of us any good to be alienating the only real family most of us have."

"But Mark and Roger…"

"Please! Mark and Roger will always be Mark and Roger. Some stupid argument will never change that." 

"Maureen what am I going to do?"

"As far as those two idiots? Get over it and move on. As far as the baby? I don't know what to tell you Cass. That's your call. All I know is whatever you did before and why you did it is no big deal today, especially to any of us. And if you decided you didn't want to have this one either, that would be no big deal to any of us either. Now if you planned on taking the same approach today, that you did before, that would be a slightly different story. Mainly because Mark wouldn't be able to sit back and watch you. And that's because he cares about you, and worries about you. I mean it's Mark. He worries about everybody. Especially his friends. Especially you and that other idiot. You understand?"

Cass nodded, her hands still covering her face. Georgio came over and hopped up on the couch, climbing into her lap. "Maureen, but what am I going to do? I can't have an abortion. I just can't."

"Well that's okay sweetie." Maureen gave her a hug. "That takes you from three choices down to only two choices then. That means you either have it and give it up, or have it and keep it. It's gonna be okay. Really."

Maureen wasn't sure who she was trying to convince more. Cass or herself. She knew that was what she was supposed to tell Cass. That it was going to be okay. She knew that was the right thing to say, that it should help to make her feel better. The problem was, Maureen agreed with Cass. How was it ever going to be okay?

Maureen didn't know what else to tell her. For a change she decided to basically just keep her mouth shut. If she couldn't make things better, maybe at least she could keep from making things worse. They just sat there on the couch for awhile. Cass lay down when Maureen got up to get her more tissues. Maureen sat on the floor next to her until she finally cried herself to sleep. 

**********

Maureen heard them outside in the hall and hopped up off the floor to let them in. "Shhh. Cass is asleep on the couch." She told them, opening the door. She took one look at Mark and shook her head. "You're not going to be happy tomorrow Marky." 

"Tell me about it." Roger whispered, dragging Mark into his room and dropping him onto his bed. "He puked three times on the way home. I don't know why he thinks he can drink vodka." 

"Because you do." Maureen said sarcastically under her breath, but not really caring if Roger heard her or not.

Roger didn't say anything, but the look he gave Maureen let her know he heard her. "How's Cass?"

She knew Roger really didn't do anything. All he really did was try and protect Cass. Granted, it was only from Mark screaming at her, but still. She just needed to be mad at one of them right now. She felt horrible for Cass, and she knew Mark meant well. All that left was Roger, so he was it. He was the one that was going to hear it for this. This and probably some of the brut of her problems with Joanne at the moment. "Upset, scared, asleep and exhausted. What did you expect?"

"Yeah, I guess." He was trying really hard to be nice, but she wasn't making it easy for him. 

"Where's Collins?" Maureen snapped at him. 

Roger clenched his jaw trying hard not to make things worse. "He went home." 

"Oh great! Now I have to walk home alone!"

"I'll take you home Maureen. Just give me a couple of minutes. Okay? I gotta take the dog out anyway." 

"Fine. I'm going to go check on Mark." She turned and went back into Mark's room. 

Like I don't have enough shit to deal with today he thought. Drama Queen Super Bitch has to help me out. Just be nice to her Davis that's all you gotta do. She's just pissed at the world right now and you're most convenient. Just be nice and don't start back at her. 

He knelt down next the couch and gently put his hand on Cass' shoulder. "Cass, Baby wake up." 

She slowly opened her eyes and just looked at him for a second. Suddenly the events of tonight came rushing back at her. "Did you get Mark? Is he okay? Is he mad? Does he hate me? Is he speaking to you? Is he okay? What did he say? Is he still mad?" 

Roger had to almost laugh at the barrage of questions she threw at him. "Yes I got Mark. He's in his room. We didn't really talk too much on the way home. He's okay. At least he will be." 

"What do you mean he will be?" 

"Let's just say tomorrow won't be one of the best days of his life. But don't worry about it. Why don't you go to bed? I have to take the dog out and take Maureen home. Will you be okay for like twenty five minutes?"

Cass nodded as she got up off the couch. Roger got the leash and picked up the dog. Maureen came out of Mark's room and told Cass goodbye. As they got out onto the sidewalk, Roger put down the dog and lit a cigarette. He realized then he was hungry and they hadn't eaten in almost twelve hours. "Did Cass ever eat anything?" He asked Maureen. 

"No. She was too upset I'm sure." Attitude dripping off every word. 

"Look Mo, it's been a really long, stressful day. I don't want to fight with you too. Okay? Please? I mean I'm sorry." Roger couldn't take it anymore. He just started yelling at her as they walked. "I'm sorry Mark got upset. I'm sorry he's pissed at me. I'm sorry he's pissed at Cass. I'm sorry I yelled at him. I'm sorry he worries about the crap he has to worry about. I'm sorry you got upset and caught up in the middle of it all. And I'm sure as hell sorry any of this happened to Cass! Okay! I'm sorry! And you know what? Being sorry about all that doesn't change one damn thing! It doesn't change it or make any of it any fucking better!"

Maureen just looked at him. She hated it, but she knew he was right. No matter how sorry, or pissed any of them were, it wouldn't change anything. "Um," she said softly, "can I have a cigarette?"

Roger gave her a sideways look as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it for her. He almost grinned. He knew he'd never get an apology, but this was at least a truce. "Did she say anything?" He finally asked her, looking straight ahead. 

"Some." She said, never looking at him. "She's worried about you and Mark." 

"Yeah I know. I told her not to worry about that."

"Well she'll get over that, as soon as she sees you guys are okay. You are okay right?"  
  
"Yeah we're okay. At least we will be. Don't worry. She tell you anything else?"

"I don't think she could take having an abortion Roger. Especially not now." 

"Yeah, I know." He said, blowing out smoke. 

"All I'm saying is, don't push anything, alright?"

"I won't. I mean I wouldn't anyway, but especially now."

"Good." Maureen said, flicking out the cigarette. "Roger?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you heard her talk about any friends? I mean other than that girl Gia she worked with?"

He thought for a moment. "I guess not. I mean I knew she dated that Paul guy. And that they had a party crowd they hung out with, but I guess not. Come to think of it, the only people she's talked about are Giavanna. And Mark I guess. Why?"

"I just don't think she's ever had any real friends. Or ever even saw anybody who did." She saw the confused look on his face. "She was really kind of afraid of what all of us would think of her, now, after hearing all that. You know?"

"What did you tell her?" He asked cautiously. 

"To look around at the pathetic group of people she's talking about. Most of who don't have any real family, career, life or anything else to speak of. Anything except for the rest of the pathetic group of people they hang out with." 

They walked for a few seconds before Roger flicked out his cigarette. He put his arm around her shoulder and gave her a hug as they walked. Roger gave her a kiss on top of her head. "Thanks Mo."

**********

  
  
  
  
Cass was dozing in bed when Roger sat down on the bed, followed by the dog. "Is Mark okay?" 

"Yeah he's okay." He told her, wrapping his arms around her. "Are you okay Baby?"

"I don't know. I'm better than I was, but I don't know. I just don't know Roger." 

He couldn't see her face but he knew she was crying again. "Come on Baby, don't cry. It's gonna be okay. I promise. It's gonna get better." Roger meant it, he really meant it. But he was saying it so often, he was starting to wonder if it sounded as hollow to her as it was beginning to sound to him.

"How? That's what Maureen kept saying. How is it going to be okay? How is it going to get better Roger? How?"

"I don't know Baby. I just know it is. Or it will. If I could make it all go away you know I would, right? If I could make it better for you, I'd do it in a heartbeat." He whispered into her hair. "All I know is, it's gonna get better." He pushed her hair behind her ear. "And even if I'm wrong, even if it doesn't get better, I'll still be here with you Baby. I'll still love you, no matter what." 

"I can't get an abortion Roger. I just can't. I know it's stupid, and I don't even go to church anymore, but I can't!"

"Shhhh Baby don't cry. Please. It's okay. Nobody said you had to or even should have one. So all that means is your going to have to have it."

"Great!" She started crying hard again. "Maureen said that narrows it down to just two choices. Some choices! Have Anton's kid, keep it and live with the fact of who and what it's father is. That's just great. Oh by the way kid, your bastard father's a no good rapist. Or, option two, have Anton's kid, give it up, and live with the fact that not only does it have a total bastard for a father, but it got abandoned by it's mother too." 

As she sobbed, alarms and whistles started going off in Roger's brain. He rolled her onto her back so she was looking at him. "Cass," he said softly, "you know this is different right? It's not the same thing. It's not the same as your father. It's not the same thing as your mom either. She didn't abandon you Cass. It sounded like she really loved you, you know? And if you give it up, that's not abandoning it either. It's just somebody else taking care of it. Somebody that decided and chose to want to do that. Not somebody who ended up having to deal with all this." 

  
"I know. I mean I guess I know that. My brain should know that. It's just, it's just…"

"It's just what Baby?"

"It's still Anton's baby. Even if I give it up, what if it comes looking for me someday? Wanting to know who it's father is? And if I keep it, then it's still going to want to know who it's father is." 

He laid down on his side right next to her, leaning on his elbow. Roger hadn't really thought of that. He had thought about how he felt and how Mark probably felt, and tried to imagine what Cass was thinking and feeling about the whole thing. But it never occurred to him that someday Cass' baby might want to know that. 

He thought back to the conversation he had with Collins. Roger knew he would have been happier never knowing his own father. He knew a lot of people like that. And Larry, his mom's husband had been more like a father to him than Jack Davis ever was. Too bad Roger was too busy getting messed up, screwing around and attempting to defy authority back then to appreciate it. 

"So don't tell it." He as surprised at how serious and bluntly the words came out of his mouth. "Don't tell it about Anton. Tell them it was somebody else. Tell them it was me. Or Mark or Jason or somebody or even make somebody up. Just don't tell it about Anton."

She just stared at him for a moment. "You mean lie to it for it's whole life? Would you want to have been lied to your whole life?"

"Well, no, I guess not. But at the same time, I wish I would have never known my father either though." He could tell she was contemplating all this. 

"But even if I did that, everyone else knows the truth." 

"Everybody who? Me and Mark? Collins? Maureen and Jason and Jen? Don't worry about that. If you say that somebody else is the father, they'll except that and move on from there. No questions asked. Trust me." He knew his friends. Even if she said the tooth fairy was the father, they would go with that. Forever. 

"Yes. I guess you're right." She yawned. "That might work. And it does have to be better than knowing the truth. At least about Anton." 

"Uh huh." He laid his head down next to her. He couldn't believe how tired he was. God it had been a really long day. He still had one arm across her and was drawing little circles on her skin with his fingers. He heard her yawn again and realized how tired she had sounded when she spoke. "Go to sleep Baby. We'll figure it out tomorrow. Just don't worry. Okay? We'll figure it out." He gave her a soft, gently kiss. "It'll work out, because I love you Cass." 

She pulled him close to her so his head was resting on her shoulder. "Good. Because I never would have made it through all this without you Roger." Cass wouldn't have thought it possible tonight, but she did finally fall asleep in his arms. 

**********


	45. 45

A/N My usual thanks to everyone that has reviewed and emailed me! I'm still can't get over the response I've gotten to this. It still shocks and thrills me that you all seem to like it as much as you do. Thanks you all. 

So here we go, entering into the next phase of our favorite Bohemians' live. Hope you all keep enjoying it as much as me!

Chapter 45

As Roger's eyes opened his saw her. Cass was sitting up on the bed, leaning against the corner with her arms wrapped around her knees. 

"What are you doing?" He asked her with a sly grin. 

"Watching you sleep. And thinking."

"Uh huh. What time is it?" He looked at his watch. Ewww, 7:45 in the morning. "Way too early." He closed his eyes again. 

"Roger?" She said hesitantly.

"Uh huh?"

"Do you really love me?" 

His eyes flew open as he looked up at her. "Yes. Why?" 

"But you've only known me for about a little over two weeks." 

"They haven't exactly been the average two weeks Cass. What's wrong?"

"Well what happens if, in say another two weeks things do get more like average weeks. What then?" 

"Average for around here? Well then I'd get to sleep in, till ten at least." He stopped as if he were done talking before grinning at her. "Oh and I'd still love you too."

"Are you sure?" 

"Yep. Why, aren't you?" He asked hesitantly. 

"Oh God yes, I just needed to be sure." She just looked at him very intensely for a moment before continuing. "Roger will you tell me the truth? No matter what it is? No matter if it's going to hurt or not?" 

He wasn't sure he liked where this was going as he sat up in bed. "Yes." 

"So you promise?" 

"Yes." 

"Roger would you ever want to have a baby?"

"His mind went to a thousand places at about the same speed. His conversation with Collins. His arguments and guilt with himself. Even conversations he and Mimi had over the years. He wasn't sure what she was asking. It could be one of two totally different questions. Each has a totally different answer. "You mean right now or ever?" He asked her cautiously, watching her face to see what she does. 

"Well, ever. Anytime, I guess." 

"That's complicated Cass. Real complicated." 

"Oh." Her eyes dropped to the bed. 

"No wait. You don't understand." He told her picking up her hand. "It's not that I wouldn't want to have one ever. I mean I can't. Ever. Any kid I have would be positive. You know that. And I can't do that." 

"Oh."

Roger explained what he meant, but by the look on her face he wasn't sure he answered her question. He also wasn't sure that was really the question she meant to ask him. Okay Davis, maybe you better answer the question you thing she's really asking. "Um, Cass?"

She just looked up at him. 

God she's got such sad eyes he thought. "Are we talking about ever having one, or are we talking about having this one?"

"This one I guess." Here eyes dropping back down tot he bed. 

"This one's different." 

"I know." She said softly, not looking up. 

"Not different bad, just different from what we were just talking about. As in it wouldn't be sick is all. That's a good thing remember? You understand me?" He smiled at her. 

She looked up at him, but still not meeting his eyes. 

"Cass, do you want to keep this baby?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I think." She told him meekly, looking down. 

"Okay. So your gonna have a baby." He grinned at her. 

"But…" She said barely above a whisper.

"But what Baby?" He moved right up next to her, putting his arm around her. 

"But what about us? And what about the fact that it's Anton's?" Tears started to roll down her cheeks. 

"What about us? I told you I love you. No matter what. Baby or no baby. If you want to have the baby, then great, have the baby. That would actually be pretty cool I think. I mean I wouldn't mind having a baby, especially with you. And I can get past the Anton thing, if you can."

"Really?" Cass was amazed hearing all that.

Cass was almost as amazed to hear all that as Roger was. What amazed him even more was how much he really meant it. "Yeah, really. I won't mind that. At all I guess. I mean I guess I'd kind of like it." 

"Really?" Even more surprised showing in her voice. 

"Yeah really. But Cass there is one thing you gotta remember. I love you. I really do. And I'll love you forever, but I don't know how long forever is going to be." 

"Nobody does Roger." She told him, still somewhat amazed. 

"Yeah but Cass, you gotta remember, I'm not like everybody else. That makes things different. I mean yes, I love you and yes it would be kind of nice to have a kid. But I'm gonna die." 

"I know." She told him in an extremely serious voice. "Do you think I never thought of that? I've thought about that a lot. And I hate it. But I can't do anything about that. All I can do is take what I can get and make the best of it."   
  
"Oh." Actually Roger was really relieved. He didn't know if she had ever even thought about that. He had. Many times. And he always knew he was going to have to have this conversation and he always dreaded it. But here it was, and it went okay. Because of that, he decided to push the subject, just to make sure she was sure. 

"But what about the baby? I mean I know you'd be okay, but what about the baby? Is it fair to a baby to go off and die on it?"

"No it's not." She told him as tears ran down her cheeks. "It's not fair at all." 

"And what if it wants to know why? What if you tell that kid I'm it's father and then you gotta tell it I got AIDS from being a junkie? Are you gonna be able to do that? Do you want to tell your kid that?" 

"What? That you were a junkie? Or the fact that it's mother was a coke head?" She said trying to make a point. "Roger I would rather tell this baby that it's father was once a messed up junkie, who yes, got AIDS. And yes is someday going to die on it and on me. Then tell it anything about that bastard Anton. Ever." 

She wiped the tears off her face and looked at him. "Because you know what else? I'd be able to tell it how even though you were a junkie, you got clean, and stayed clean. Not to mention how you were Mark's best friend. And how you took care of him, and of me, and the baby. And how you loved me, and Mark and the baby. So yes, I think I can handle it." 

"Oh." Now Roger didn't know what to say. He just grinned at her as he pulled her over and kissed her. Pulling her down next to him on the bed. He kissed her again and reached for his cigarettes off the floor. 

They laid there for a few seconds while he lit his cigarette. "So…" He started. 

"So…" She said back, taking a drag on his cigarette. 

"So I guess we're gonna have a baby." He said, grinning at her as he sucked on his cigarette. 

"So I guess we are." She grinned back at him as she kissed him. Cass took the cigarette from between his fingers and took another drag on it. 

"You know, maybe you should quit smoking, considering you're pregnant and all." 

"True. Maybe _we _should quit." She stressed the "we" part as she gave him a sideways grin.

"We?" He looked at her. "Um, yeah, we'll talk about that later." Roger grinned as he finished his cigarette and crushed it out. "You know I didn't smoke anymore till I met you."

"Well good, since it's only been a few weeks," she told him as she climbed over him and straddled his lap, "then quitting shouldn't be to hard." 

"Oh you think huh?" He laughed as he grabbed her and rolled her over on her back, kneeling over her. 

"Uh huh." 

"Uh huh." He repeated, kissing her. 

Cass kissed him back as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and started running her hand through his hair. 

Roger's kisses left her lips and traveled down her neck as his hands traveled up her shirt, which quickly made it's way to the floor. Soon followed by the rest of their clothes. 

"God I love you Cass." He told her later as he rolled onto his side. "You are so beautiful." 

"Thank you Baby." She leaned over and kissed him. "You know what else I am?"

"Sexy, funny, intelligent and mine?' He grinned at her. 

"Yes, all those of course, but also hungry. I haven't eaten since the deli yesterday." 

"Yeah, food sounds like a good idea. So much for going back to sleep. We probably should check on Marky too." He told her pulling his boxers back on.

"You're so cute, you and Mark." 

"Great. I'm cute like Mark." He flopped back on the bed next to her. "I don't know if that's good or not." 

"That wasn't what I meant." She leaned over onto his chest. "What I meant was, well, you know the way you two take care of each other. It's sweet. Even cute." 

"Did you notice how it only takes me to take care of Mark and Mark to take care of me?" He gave her his famous mischievous grin. "But it takes both of us to keep you out of trouble Cassiopeia Sullivan." 

"Well good, then you'll both get plenty of practice in during the next nine months." 

"Great. Hey Cass?" He paused as he brushed a piece of hair off her face. "Do you know anything about babies?" 

"Honestly, no. Nothing at all. I've actually never even held one. What about you?"

"Does taking care of Mark count? Because if not, then nope, me either." 

"Oh God, what are we doing?" She asked, the nervousness evident in her voice. 

"It'll be okay Baby. You're some kind of book genius remember? And besides, I thought you could do just about anything with that computer of yours." He tried to be reassuring. "Don't they write directions on diapers?" 

She just laughed at him. "I don't know about that. But if you want some practice, I thing you've got a volunteer." 

"What?"

Cass just pointed towards the door where Georgio sat wagging his tail and holding his leash. "Agh! We are never, ever getting a dog!" Georgio just looked up at him and wagged his tail again. "Okay, fine. Can I put on pants? Please?" He asked the dog.


	46. 46

Chapter 46

On the walk from the subway, Roger was surprised by how cool it was getting as the sun set for only being the end of September. And last night, coming home from playing at the Iguana, he almost froze. It had to be in the 40's at two this morning. That's not good he thought. That could really mean a cold winter and the loft doesn't exactly have that much heat.

Crap! How were they going to keep a baby warm living in that dump? Especially when it seems like they were always freezing themselves? Granted it had gotten better over the years. They weren't burning things in a trashcan anymore. And they had gone from no heat to at least some heat in the loft. Not that Benny had been all that generous, but when he had to do something to the rest of the building's heat, Roger and Mark reaped some of the rewards of that. 

But it was still cold up there. They were just going to have to find someplace else to live. Someplace with heat. Someplace where you can keep a baby. Someplace where he doesn't have to worry about a pregnant girlfriend. Not to mention someplace they can actually afford. 

And Cass doesn't even have any winter clothes he realized. She keeps wearing his green pull over around. She doesn't have a coat either. Not that his leather jacket hadn't seen better days or was all that warm without at least his pullover under it too. And he knew Mark had been wearing the same coat since high school and it was on the verge of falling apart. 

It seemed like something happened to Mark's coat the end of last winter too. Roger thought he remembered Jen having to sew it back together or something. Well, maybe they could find both Cass and Mark something over in one of the shops on St. Mark's.

Great! He ran the mental list through his head one more time. Food, always on the list. Pills, also always on the list, more so because he knew neither Mark nor Cass would let that slide. Winter clothes for Cass. Coat for Cass and for Mark. New place to live with heat. Not to mention baby stuff one of these days too, whatever that means. Maybe Izzy would give him some more shifts at the bar. Well it's a good thing they were quitting smoking he thought. It's too expensive a habit. And beer too he guessed. At least at home. Cass can't drink so he and Mark might as well give that up at home too. Save some more money. Well, he could drink for free when they played. If Mark wants a beer he'll have to come to the bar on nights when Roger's working. Not that he saw Mark wanting another drink of anything anytime soon after how he felt the other day when he finally crawled into the living room at almost three in the afternoon. 

God Davis, how did you ever afford to live, smoke, eat, drink and buy smack as well as various other drugs before? You worked even less then? Granted food and everything else was much less a priority then as well he realized. 

All that kept running through his brain as he walked. Roger pulled out another stick of nicotine gum. A gift from Mark, but he wasn't sure who it was really a gift for, Roger and Cass, or Mark. He knew he and Cass were cranky about giving up smoking, and driving Mark a little crazy too he figured. 

The more he worried, the more he chewed. The more gum he chewed, the more he remembered why he was quitting smoking to begin with. The more he thought of that, the more he started worrying again. Lost in all of that he didn't even hear his name being called at first. When he finally heard Maureen calling him, she had caught up with him. 

"God Roger, what's wrong with you? I've been trying to catch up to you for half a block. Did rock and roll stardom finally make you deaf or something?" 

"Huh? Oh sorry. I was just thinking about something." 

"Wonderful. Now you're getting just like Mark. That's just what we need. A punk rock Marky with a sucky attitude." She teased him. "So Marky the Second, lost in work stuff or just worrying over the fate of the world in general?" 

He had to almost laugh, she was right. He did sound like Mark. In his head at least. Had anyone been able to hear what was running through his brain they probably would have thought it was Mark. Well, Cass said he and Mark shared one brain. Looks like it's finally starting to get to him. 

"Fate of the world I guess. Or fate of all the current occupants of the loft at least."

"Why? What are you so all of a sudden worried about?"

"Oh," he shrugged, "the usual Mark type concerns. You know things like food. Plus heat and a place to live in to go with the heat. Of course I can't afford the shit hole with no heat we live in now, so I don't know how in the hell I can afford to move somewhere with heat." He kicked the ground with his boot out of frustration before starting to walk again. "No to mention I don't think any of us have any clue as to what baby stuff is, much less how much it coast. Or how we're ever going to pay for all of it." 

Maureen started laughing again. "Well, it's finally happened." 

"Come on Mo, I'm serious. This is big time stuff. What's so frigging funny? What finally happened?" He was getting annoyed and was sorry he even told her. 

"I know Rog, I'm sorry." She laughed. "It's just that well, if I had closed my eyes just now, well, you could have been Mark!" 

"Ha ha. Real funny Mo. I'm serious. How the hell am I gonna pay for a kid? Much less feed it and us? Plus you know perfectly well there's no way we can keep living in that dump. Not without heat. Not with Cass pregnant. Definitely not with a baby. How the hell am I gonna do that?" He almost yelled at her. What was she laughing at? This was a big deal. He was cranky from lack of nicotine and lack of sleep. Pissed at the way she found all this so funny. And, he realized, a little over whelmed and freaked out about the whole thing.

Maureen stopped laughing when she realized how serious he actually was. Serious, and almost scared. "Sweetie, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you weren't kidding around. It'll be okay Roger. Don't worry." 

"Don't worry? Maureen have you listened to a word I've said? How the hell am I gonna ever afford all that?"

Maureen just looked at him for a second. She was confused.

They rounded the corner onto 11th Street. Roger's mood suddenly improved. Even from the corner, he recognized he green fleece, along with all the long brown hair pulled into a lose ponytail, falling down her back. Cass was sitting on the steps, reading a book. The dog was sitting by her feet looking out at the people and cars as they passed. 

He couldn't believe it. Cass had gone outside. Alone. She had to have been. Mark wasn't even due home from his shoot for at least another hour. They had left her alone a few times, and she was okay with that. But, with the exception of the twenty-five minutes in the park a week ago, it was always inside the loft. And she always made sure the door was locked when they left. 

But there she was, sitting outside, all alone. Maybe it's the dog. Maybe she feels safe with the dog. What that noisy little ten-pound bag of fluff could ever do to protect her he wasn't sure. But maybe it is the dog. He really hoped it wasn't the dog. Roger really didn't want to get a dog, but if it was the dog, and she wanted one, he'd get her a dog. Right now he didn't care. 

He was so excited he didn't even care about Maureen anymore. He heard her start to say something. "Never mind Mo. Just drop it. Look," he pointed, "Cass is outside." 

Maureen still didn't understand what was going on. One minute he's yelling at her, then next he's grinning like an idiot because Cass took Benny's stupid dog out. Big deal. She couldn't figure out what he was so worked up over. What was the big problem? Something about that whole conversation confused her, but something about it bothered her too. She just couldn't figure out what it was. 

Cass stood up and stepped down to the sidewalk when she saw them coming. 

"Hey Baby." Roger said, wrapping his arms around her as he pulled her in close and kissed her. "You're outside. By yourself. You okay?" 

"Uh huh." She nodded as she reached her arm around her neck, kissing him back. "I couldn't take sitting up there any longer. And you guys kept telling me I had to go out at some point by myself. And Georgio needed out." She grinned. "Besides, it was either me or that stupid computer, one of us was gonna end up out her on the sidewalk." She kissed him again. "I took the stairs down. If it ended up being the computer, it would have come down by way of the window." 

"That's right baby," he kissed her again, harder this time. "You show that computer who's boss. Or at least which one of you can open the window." He grinned as he started running his hands up and down her back, under the fleece jacket. "So you feel better Baby?" 

"Uh huh. Much better." She said, into his eyes as she started playing with his hair. 

"Oh for god sake." Maureen exclaimed. She had been patiently standing to the side, waiting for this whole little scene to play out. "Will you just get a room already? Or use the one you currently have? It's not like you didn't just see each other a few hours ago! Or like you haven't spent almost every waking as well as sleeping moment together since she got here. And it's not like one of you two are taking off for Washington DC again. For a week or so. Again. Geeze!"

"Sorry Mo." He told her sitting down on the steps and pulling Cass down to the step below him, between his knees. "I'm guessing Joanne went back to Washington?" 

The look Maureen gave them was confirmation enough. "You want to have dinner with us Mo? I'm cooking." Cass asked as Roger's arms went around her and he was kissing at her neck as she spoke. 

"Um," be polite Maureen. She's trying to be sweet. "Tempting as that offer sounds, I'm going to the Life and then shopping with Jen. But, uh, thanks anyway Cass." 

"Chicken!" Roger teased her before turning back to Cass. "You're cooking huh? So that means we're having what? Cereal? Toast?" He asked raising an eyebrow and nipping at her neck. "Microwave popcorn? Peanut butter and jelly?" He teased as he tickled her. "Maybe Chinese takeout?" He added hopefully. 

"You are horrible!" She swatted at his leg. "No I'm cooking spaghetti!" 

Roger grinned and pulled out his phone, holding it to his ear, pretending to make a call. "Hello 911? Can we reserve a fire truck and an ambulance? It will either be a kitchen fire or food poisoning." He laughed at his own joke. 

"You are terrible Roger Davis!" Cass turned towards him on the step and poked him in the ribs. She couldn't help but laugh at him though. When he grabbed her to kiss her again she didn't fight it. 

"Oh I'm going up to Jen's!" Maureen started up the steps, shaking her head. 

"Hey Mo," Roger called after her, "save us two seats at the Life. We'll probably be there eventually." He kept laughing even after Cass hit him in the leg again with her cast. 

"Are you done giving me a hard time?" She asked him after Maureen left. "Or will you pick on me like this always?" 

"Considering your cooking gives me so much opportunity, probably always." 

"I see." She leaned back against his chest as the dog came up the steps and stood with his front two feet on Roger's leg. Reaching up with his nose at Roger. 

"Ahhh, get down." He told the dog. "How much longer is he gonna be here?" 

"Allison called today. She's going to pick him up tomorrow afternoon around four." 

"Four?" He sounded somewhat alarmed. "I gotta leave for practice at two. Will Mark be home by then?"

"Um, I don't know. Probably not I guess. Why?"

"Un huh. No way are you staying by yourself with that asshole around." He said standing up. "If Mark's not gonna, no never mind that, I'm skipping practice. I'll call Iz right now." He started to walk up the steps, pulling her behind him. 

"Roger wait." She yanked on his arm to stop him but he kept going up the stairs.

"No. Forget it." He was getting pissed. He was dragging her and the dog along. Roger knew it wasn't fair, but right then he was pissed at Mark. How could he be such an idiot, agreeing to do Benny a favor? Putting Cass in that kind of position. 

"No, you forget it!" She snapped at him as she stopped walking all together. "First of all, I can, to some extent, take care of myself. Secondly, I know perfectly well you had and have issues with Benny. Some of them had a lot to do with Mimi. Well, in case you have forgotten," she glared at him as she said it, "I am not Mimi!" 

"Cass I didn't--"

"So you either trust me or you don't!" She cut him off. 

"That wasn't what I--"

"And thirdly, did I say anything at all about him? No! Had you been listening, or at least bothered to ask before raising holy hell, you would have found out that Allison is coming to get Georgio. By herself. Alone. Then going back to wherever she's been. Benny came home yesterday and is working, trying to catch the two of them up on everything at their office from last week." She said she may not even see him tomorrow." With that she picked up the dog and started walking up the steps. 

"Oh." He said quietly as she walked past him. Real frigging smooth Roger. Totally piss her off. Make her think you don't trust her around that asshole. Even better, make her think you're comparing her to Mimi. Just perfect. Just fucking perfect. 

He opened the door for her and she went in and sat on the couch with the dog. Roger walked over and sat down next to her. "I'm sorry." He said softly, reaching for her hand, hoping she would let him take it. She did and he gave a silent sigh of relief. "It's not that I don't trust you. I trust you completely. It's Benny I don't trust. I mean I don't even like leaving Mark alone with him." 

Georgio climbed into his lap and put his front paws up against Roger's chest, trying to lick at his chin. Roger pushed him down but kept petting him. "He's just so…" He started. "I mean he makes me so…" Roger sighed. "I'm really sorry Cass. For yelling at you. For getting upset. All of it. I tend to be a real jackass where Benny's concerned. I'm really sorry. Forgive me? Please?" He said sincerely, but giving her his best puppy dog eyes. 

"I suppose." She said, giving him a sideways look. "But God you are a crank today!" She gave him a sly grin. "Probably lack of nicotine." 

"Yeah, I've been a little bitchie I guess."

"Well, maybe, just to help keep world peace and all, maybe we ought to have a cigarette. Just for everybody's personal safety." 

He grinned, knowing what she was trying to pull. "Yeah, I could really use a cigarette. I might be easier to deal with for the rest of the night." 

"Up, we better have one. For Mark's sake." 

"For Mark's sake?" That's pathetic Cass. "We huh?" 

"Well you don't want me biting your head off all night do you?" 

"No, not really." He grinned at her. 

"And if you get one, I get one."

"I suppose." He said slowly grinning at her as he reached into his pocket. "Have you seen my lighter?" 

"I'll get it." She almost leapt off the couch and into their room. She was back so fast he had to laugh. "Here you go." She told him, obviously excited. 

"Oh, thanks. Okay, one cigarette." He told her as he handed her a piece of the gum and popped one into his mouth. The look on her face was priceless. Roger was holding his sides, trying not to laugh as hard as he wanted to. 

"But… I thought… damn it! I want a cigarette! If you weren't going to smoke a real one what did you have me get your lighter for?" She was mad, but she knew he had set her up and it was a little funny. 

"I didn't tell you to go get it." He was rolling at this point. "I just asked if you knew where it was. Besides, you aren't even supposed to be chewing that gum. So if you don't want it, give it back." He held out his hand to her, still laughing. 

"Forget it!" She popped it into her mouth and started chewing hard.

*******

Around the time Roger realized his nicotine gum had gotten hard and completely lost any flavor it may have had, he realized Cass had fallen asleep snuggled against him. He started flipping TV channels, trying not to wake her up. He couldn't blame her for being tired. She had still been up when he got home last night from playing at the bar.

He didn't think she had been waiting up for him this time though. It was more like she was just working and completely lost track of the time. She seemed genuinely surprised to see him last night when he walked in. Wondering what he was doing home so early from the Iguana. He had to laugh at the look on her face when he told it was 2:30 already. 

Roger really didn't understand what Cass actually did. All he knew was, she got real intense in front of the computer. When she worked there was a lot of numbers and pages of information she was always flipping through. He liked to watch her though. She got these funny looks on her face while she was reading. She'd chew on her lip and make little pouty faces. Sometimes she'd get really into something and her mouth would fall open. 

And she did different stuff depending on whether she was reading computer stuff or stuff on paper. When it was on paper, she'd end up tilting her head way over to the left, almost holding her paper sideways to read it. When she was just reading on the computer, it was her feet. She'd have them propped up on the desk. Or on top of the computer tower, under the desk. One time he found her, sound asleep, in the chair with her feet up against the edge of the desk, her chin almost on her knees. She was wrapped up in a blanket with her hand still on the mouse. 

The best was to listen to her though. She would talk to the computer like it was a real person. Sometimes in English, sometimes in French. Roger didn't really remember any of his high school French when he was in high school, much less now, but he could always tell when she was getting pissed at the computer. He did remember the curse words though. Not what each one meant, but he knew when she was cursing at the computer in French. That was funny. Whether it was for what it was telling her or for what it was or wasn't doing he never really knew. 

She caught him watching her the other day. He was sitting on the couch, with his guitar on his lap, supposedly working on a song. He blew it off when she busted him, saying he was trying to think up another line and just happened to be looking that way. She had been right though, he had been watching her. 

The idea of her being pregnant had pretty much sunk in by then. Sunk in, but still a foreign and strange concept. A little less now, since they went to the doctor this morning, but still strange. Cass was going to have a baby. And she wanted him around for it. They were going to have a baby. Together. It was still a freaky concept, but he liked it. He actually really liked it. Roger didn't know how they were going to pay for it, but he liked it. 

He had started worrying about all that again. Looking around the loft, he knew they would have to move. He put another piece of gum in his mouth. He couldn't help but think how much he really wanted a cigarette. Cass stirred a little and snuggled up closer to him on the couch. He stroked her hair as he looked at her. She was actually having a baby. They were actually having a baby. Cass and Roger were having a baby. 

He snapped out of his thoughts as he heard the keys in the lock. And Mark he thought. Cass and Roger and Mark were going to have a baby. That made Roger feel somewhat better. No matter what happened, even if he got sick tomorrow, he knew Mark would never desert Cass. He would always be there for her and the baby. 

"Shhh." Roger said as Mark came in the door followed by Ginny. "She's asleep." He whispered to them. 

"No I'm not." Cass sort of mumbled out as she sat up. 

"Well then you been doing a pretty good impression of somebody who was asleep for the past half hour." He laughed at her.

"Hey Marky. Hi Ginny." She said snuggling back up against Roger and pulling her arms inside of his green pullover she was wearing. "I wasn't sleeping, it was just cold in here." 

Crap! That whole heat issue again. He and Mark were going to have to talk about that tonight. That and the other stuff. Try and figure out some kind of plan. 

Mark set his camera and bag down on the counter. "I got the best shot today! This thing is actually going really good. Tony really likes what we got so far."

"Cool." Roger was really glad for Mark. He had spent so many years working on stuff to be told by the people who actually pay money that it was crap. Granted this was some sort of thing for this guy's company, but still, the guy seemed to really like Mark and what he did. Mark deserved that. Mark needed that. 

Mark had spent so many years working like crazy. Working on films that got rejected and never got paid for. Working crappy jobs he barely got paid for so they could eat and stuff. It always seemed like when he was working he'd find stuff he could have filmed and when he would be filming something he'd have to stop to work at he record store or whatever. Then he'd get fired because he'd get caught up in film work and be late or totally miss work at the crappy paying job. 

Mark had been doing all that and making himself crazy. While Roger had locked himself in the loft for six months after April died. Mark had supported him almost completely then. The sad thing was, it wasn't until Mimi pointed out how well his then band was doing, compared to Mark's career that Roger even realized it. 

That was when he told Mark to quit the deli job and just do film work for awhile. That it was Roger's turn to support them. That was how he had ended up hooking back up with Izzy. He started bartending one night a week for him for the extra cash. It was a good thing too. Probably what saved him from himself this time he figured. 

When Mimi got sick, the band fell apart. Izzy let him bartend when he could and understood when he couldn't make it in because of Mimi. Izzy had already started the house band. Getting Roger to come play just to get him out. 

After Mimi died, Izzy never quit on him either. He didn't really give him the chance to revert to total recluse like before either. Izzy still expected him to show up for work, practice and play. He even came and picked him up sometimes in the beginning. Mark always let Roger get away with sitting at home. Izzy didn't. 

That was what kept Roger going. Out of guilt to Mark. Out of obligation to Mark. Out of obligation to Izzy. And simply for something to do. Even at the lowest point he had gotten to after Mimi died, Roger still knew if it hadn't been for the Iguana, he probably would have gone insane. 

His mind was still running through all this and trying to figure out how they were ever going to afford a new apartment and a baby when Ginny sat down in the armchair. 

"So Mark's got a hot date, what are you two doing tonight?" Ginny asked. 

Roger looked at Cass, who had woken up some more, but was still cuddled up next to him. "Probably this." He told her. "Hey, who you got a hot date with?" He asked Mark as he came out of his office. 

"It's not really a date, it's just sort of dinner with somebody." He could feel his ears burning. "It's not a date. It's Joellen. We might go to a movie. That's all." 

"That's all Marky?" Cass teased him. "Just dinner." 

"And a movie." Roger joined in. 

"Um, yeah." Mark could feel his face starting to pink up. He knew they were going to pick on him. He knew it before he ever walked in the door. So if you knew it Mark, why does it still make you look like a human beet?

"With Joellen." Cass kept going.

"Just Joellen." Roger grinned at Cass. 

"Yes, alright it's a movie and food and Joellen."   
  
"But it's not really a date Roger." Cass explained grinning. 

"No not at all." He agreed. "Movie, food and Joellen doesn't constitute a date at all. Especially if you've already been on a few other non dates during the week. So you're right, it's not a date Mark."

"Fine, fine, whatever. It's a date then. I gotta go take a shower." He started walking towards his room shaking his head as Roger, Cass and Ginny all started laughing. "You two do know that other people's best friends don't amuse themselves by tormenting their supposed best friend and roommate. You know that right?"

Roger winked at Cass before turning back towards Mark. "Yeah I've heard that. I don't know what's wrong with those people. They don't know what they're missing." 

"Oh you are soooooo funny Davis!" Mark said dryly and walked into his room to the laughter of all three. 

"We are bad." Cass told him. "Very bad. Especially you." She took his hand she was holding under the pullover pulling it up through the neck opening and kissed it on his knuckles. 

"I've told you before," he joked, "you gotta go with your strengths." He squeezed her tight around the waist and she giggled.

"Okay, yeah, whatever, moving on to point of visit." Ginny said in her usual style of playful bitchiness, "Davis, I want your body." 

"So many women do." He shot back at her with a cocky grin. 

"Oh really?" Cass turned and looked at him. "I thought I was the only one crazy enough for that." 

"Oh yeah, lot's of women want my body." Roger told her, pulling his arms out from under the pullover and grabbing the sleeves of it, wrapping them around her tight, straight jacket style. "But you're the only one crazy enough to actually want something to do with the rest of me though." He grinned, kissing her on the ear. 

"Stupid, stupid women, they don't know what they're missing." She tried to pull her arms out to turn towards him, but he still had the sleeves pulled tight. "Hey let me go."

"Nope." He grinned. "Public service. Got to keep you crazy people locked up. Since we don't have a padded cell, I better keep you right here." He started kissing and nipping at her neck while tickling her.

  
"Um, hello? Other person still here. I mean you got a room, use it, but first, back to me." Ginny told them grinning.

"You know, we keep getting told that today." He laughed then whispered in her ear. "Maybe we should listen to them?" 

Cass pulled one arm free and swatted his leg. "Behave." 

  
"Oh yeah, right. What do you want Ginny?"

"Oh gee, back to me, I'm honored." 

Roger rolled his eyes at her as if to say hurry up and talk or get out.

"Okay, as I was saying, I do want your baby Davis, but purely out of need. And don't even start to make any comment what so ever over that statement. You're the tallest one around and I need the light bulbs in my living room ceiling changed. They are both burnt out now." 

"What's the problem Gin, too short?" He teased her. 

"Give me a break Davis. I'm 5'5". While that's okay for stripping, it sucks for nine-foot high ceilings. Luckily not all of us are built like he Jolly Green Giant." 

"Right Sprout! And I suppose you want this done right now?" 

"Well it is easier to study with light. Besides you can change the batteries in my smoke detector too. Just in case your little girlfriend there decided to cook and the fire makes it all the way to the third floor." 

"Hey, how did I end up in this?" Cass protested. 

"Guilt by association." Ginny explained. 

Roger couldn't stop laughing, even after Cass whacked him in the leg with her cast again. "I'm sorry, she's right thought. Maybe we better make sure the whole building has new batteries in their smoke alarms." 

"Oh just go. Both of you. Now." Cass tried to act annoyed as they got up, but she knew he was right. And it was kind of funny. She did have cooking issues. "And you do remember I am cooking dinner tonight right?" 

"Um yes, and I'm completely looking forward to it. Really Baby." 

"Liar!" She called back as they went out the door.


	47. 47

A/N Another slightly long chapter, but it had to be. Last chapter was more of a fluff piece building up to this one. Enjoy! I also wanted to point out, Cass arrived in New York on Saturday of Labor Day weekend and now it's nearing the end of September. So in 47 chapters, we've only gone about four weeks. This whole thing started out as just a short story! I'm glad that while it has grown, it's managed to grow so well.

Note for Sandy – It's just sort of implied that they told Mark and he was okay with everything. I mean like I said, it took 47 chapters just to get through September, so we can put in _every_ little conversation!

Chapter 47

"And Roger said, 'Let there be light'!" He told Ginny screwing in the second light bulb and stepping off the chair. 

"Great, on top of everything else you've got a God complex. How has Mark lived with you this long?" She asked sarcastically flicking the light switch on. "However it is nice to be able to see again." 

"Where's the smoke alarm at shorty?"

"Mark's right, you're soooo funny. In the kitchen. You want a soda? I gotta find the batteries." 

"Yeah. Thanks." Roger opened the fridge, pulled out a soda and sat in on the couch to wait. Ginny had her nursing books spread across the couch. He picked one up and started flipping through it. 

"You doing research or just looking for naked pictures?" She teased walking back into the living room. 

"Ha ha." He slapped the book closed quickly. 

"Seriously though," her whole tone changed. From super sarcastic and bitchie to actually sounding concerned. Something she knew Roger didn't hear from her often so it didn't surprise her when his head snapped up as she spoke. "How are you guys doing?" 

"Okay I guess." He shrugged. "What are we talking about exactly?"

"Duh. Baby dork." She rolled her eyes. "How's Cass?"

"Tired, but she was up late working last night and we got up early this morning to go to the doctor's."

"She's got a real doctor with insurance and stuff right? Not the clinic thing?"  


"Yeah she's part of the same office as the other one. The one Joanne sent her to for her stitches and cast." 

"You like the OB?"

"Huh?" He just looked at her, not a clue what she was talking about.

"The baby doctor idiot." She shook her head. "They're called OB's. Did you guys like her?" 

"Yeah, I guess." He shrugged. 

"How's Cass feel?"

"Kinda crappy. She's puking a lot."

"Already?"

"Is the bad?" He asked, alarmed. 

"Oh sorry. No it's not bad. But if she's that sick already, it'll probably get worse before it gets better." 

"Oh." Roger ran his hands through his hair. "Ginny can I ask you something?" 

"Yep. I'll tell you whatever I can." She was serious. She could tell he was a little freaked out. 

"Is that baby gonna be okay?"

"What do you mean Rog?" 

"I mean in three weeks, we've drank a lot. And smoked a lot. Plus all the x-rays on her arm and her ribs. Not to mention being totally traumatized. A few times." 

Ginny realized he was more than a little freaked out. Roger Davis was just plain scared. For a twisted moment, that really amused her, but she didn't let him know that. "Um, I don't know Roger. I mean, it's supposed to be all or nothing at this point. So I guess, most likely, yeah. It should be fine." 

"What's that mean? All or nothing?" 

"Basically, when it's only the first few weeks, I guess because so many people don't know yet at that point, that if you do anything that is gonna cause any major damage at that point, you either lose it right away or it doesn't hurt it. So I'd say don't worry about all that." 

"Great." He popped another piece of gum into his mouth before running his hands through his hair again. "That's one thing down. Where's the batteries? I gotta get back upstairs. I need to talk to Mark before he leaves."   
  
"Here you go." She handed him the batteries. "Listen Rog, I know we have this love to hate each other relationship," she grinned at him, "but if you guys need anything, just ask. Okay? And if I don't know, I can find out."

"Thanks Gin. Really." 

**********

"I'm really, really sorry Mark." Joellen told him, pouring more ice tea into his, Maureen and Jen's glasses. 

"It's okay. We've got plenty of time to catch the move. We just have to eat someplace quick, or eat here." 

"As long as you're not mad. I mean I'm mad enough for both of us, believe me. If they don't fire that girl for pulling this crap again, I don't know what I'll do." 

"Really, it's okay. Just do what you gotta do. When you get done we'll go. If we miss the movie we'll go another time. Besides, you're making more money. Except for this table." He joked. "Maureen always tips crappy."   
  
"Oh thank you so much Mr. Rockefeller."   
  
"You guys are too much. Okay, let me get back to work. Hopefully I'll be done soon." Joellen headed back towards the kitchen.

"Geeze Mo, I was just kidding. What's your problem?"

"Nothing." She chewed on her straw. "Hey what's Roger's deal? He about bit my head off earlier." 

"Yeah, I should have warned you guys. They're a little crabby with the whole not smoking thing." 

"I suppose. You should have heard him though Jen. He sounded just like Mark." She laughed. 

"Roger? Turning into Mark huh?" Jen giggled. 

"What do you mean?" Mark asked, confused. 

"Sorry Marky." Maureen told him, surprising a laugh. "He was just, I don't know, going on and on worrying about, well, Mark type stuff." 

"Like what?" He wasn't mad, and he actually knew what she meant. About him at least. When it came to worrying about stuff, Mark did the worrying. Roger on the other hand, well Roger pretty much left it all to Mark. 

"Well," She began as she ate a french frie, "he was saying something about baby stuff and heat and paying for stuff. I mean just not Roger type stuff. I honestly thought he was kiddin around, till he about went ballistic on me." 

"What else did he say Mo?" Jen asked, obviously concerned. 

"Well he started yelling at me about being able to afford a kid and food and a new apartment and--"

  
"A new apartment?" Jen almost choked on her tea as she cut Maureen off. "You're moving?" 

"Um…" was all Mark could say. He felt like he had just been punched in the stomach. 

Jen's head was flipping back and forth from Mark to Maureen. She realized Mark had no clue as to what Maureen was talking about. Jen also knew Maureen didn't always have a clue as to what she was talking about either. She had a tendency to see things slightly differently in her brain then what was actually going on in real life. She didn't think Maureen even realized right now the implication of what she just said. 

"Wait. Mo slow down." Jen took Mark's hand. "Tell us what he said. Exactly."

"I don't know." She shrugged, eating another frie. "He was just going on about how was he gonna be able to afford all that stuff. I mean what's the big deal? It's not like Cass isn't loaded." 

"Maureen what did he say?" Jean almost demanded, slapping her other hand down on the table so hard Mark and Maureen jumped. 

Maureen was slowly catching on to the fact that this had nothing to do with Roger yelling at her. It had nothing to do with her at all. After Jen slapped the table, she looked up from her food. That was when she saw the look on Mark's face. Suddenly she realized what it had been about that conversation that was strange to her. At no point during it did Roger ever mention Mark. 

"Oh god Marky. I'm, I'm sorry. I didn't think, I never thought, I'm sorry." She babbled at him. She felt like she had just slapped him across the face.   
  
Mark still hadn't said anything else. He couldn't. 

"Maureen?" Jen said again, anxiously. 

"I asked him what his problem was and he started going on about food, heat and baby stuff. I thought he was kidding around. Really. That's when he freaked out."   
  
"But what did he say about moving Mo?" Jen was getting impatient. 

"Don't yell at me I'm thinking. He said," she stopped to think. "He said they couldn't stay at the loft with no heat. Not with Cass being pregnant and with a baby." She stopped and sighed. "And he kept going on about how was he gonna afford all that. That's one reason I couldn't figure out what he was talking about. I mean Cass is like rich right?" 

"Yeah, sort of I guess." Mark finally said softly. 

"Marky are you okay?" Jen asked him. 

"Um, yeah. I, ah, I gotta go." He stood up.   
  
"Mark, I'm sorry." Maureen stood up and gave him a hug. "Call me later. Okay?" He nodded and started to step away but she grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "What about Joellen?" 

"Damn! I forgot." He looked around for her and realized she must have been in the back. "Will you?" 

"I'll explain. Don't worry."

"Tell her I'll call her later. And I'm sorry. Thanks Mo." He turned, walked out the door and headed towards home.

***********

The large pot of water seemed to be taking forever to boil. Cass checked it again as Roger came back in the door. 

"Okay Baby," he grinned at her, grabbing her by her hips and pulling her close. "Ginny's got batteries in her smoke detector, so it's safe for you to cook again." 

"Oh very funny." She kissed him as she hopped up on the counter.

"I told you, I'm a very funny guy." He tickled her, making her giggle and squirm as he kissed her hungrily.

"Uh huh." She said into his mouth as she kissed him back hard. 

As his hands went under her shirt and up her back his lips moved down her throat. "Where's Mark?" He asked in a low throaty whisper. 

"He's already gone." She pulled at his shirt. 

"He left already?" Roger asked, pulling back some. 

"Yep!" She tried to pull him close again. "I gave him sixty bucks from your wallet. He won't be back for hours."   


"He took all my money? Damn it Mark! And I needed to talk to him too." Roger turned around and walked over to the sink, leaving Cass sitting on the counter. 

"Roger what's the matter?" She asked, sliding off the counter and wrapping her arms around his waist. 

"Nothing Baby." He hugged her, kissing the top of her head. "I just really needed to talk to Mark is all. I'm sorry. It's okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Hey your water's boiling."

"Oh. Ops. Well that's better than breaking I guess." She laughed. 

"Huh?" Roger just looked at her, quite confused. 

"Bad joke. Sorry." He kissed his cheek. "Hey do you want to run across the street to the deli? Salad sounds really good with spaghetti right now." 

"Salad? But that's filled with vegetables." He teased her. "Yeah, I'll get you salad. As long as you don't make me eat any." He grinned as she rolled her eyes at him. "Any chance you're gonna make meat sauce?" 

"What am I gonna do with you?" She laughed.

He gave her an evil, mischievous grin. "I could make a few suggestions if you want?" 

  
"Go get some salad Davis!" She pulled ten dollars out of her pocket and tucked it into the waist of his jeans. "But I've got a suggestion too." She told him in a sexy whisper into his ear. 

"Yeah?" Both his eyebrows went up at that statement.

"Uh huh." She nodded, running a finger down his chest. 

"And what would that be?" He grinned as his hand went down her back and rested on her butt. 

"You could take Georgio with you." She giggled, moving back over to the stove and dumping the entire box of spaghetti into the boiling water.

Roger let out a loud annoyed sigh as he rolled his eyes. "We are so never, ever getting a dog!"

**********

"Roger!" Mark yelled, bounding in the door.

Cass looked up from the computer desk as he came in. Hey sweetie. What happened to your date with Joellen?" 

"Where's Roger?" In the short two-block walk from the Life, Mark had managed to run through a few emotions and he had landed on angry. Angry at Roger and angry at Cass too he realized. 

"He'll be back in a minute. He ran to the deli. But maybe it's good you're back, he really wanted to talk to you about something." Cass paused to look at him for a second. "Mark are you alright?"

He could hear the concern in her voice, but right then he didn't care. Screw the peacemaker crap. He was pissed and wanted to stay pissed. At least until he saw Roger. "Yeah I bet he wanted to talk to me!" Just then Roger opened the door. Mark didn't even give him a chance to come all the way in before verbally attacking him. "Well?" He demanded from him. 

Roger almost stepped back he was so surprised. "Well what? I thought you left. Where's Joellen?" He moved into the kitchen and set the bag with the salad on the counter. 

"Were you gonna tell me this time? Or was I supposed to just figure it out again when I don't see either of your for a few days? At least last time I had an idea where you went."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Roger was really confused as he set the dog on the floor and took off his leash. 

Cass had gotten up from the computer and walked over near them by the counter. "Mark what's wrong sweetie?" 

Mark's head spun towards Cass. "What's wrong? Nothing's wrong! Why should anything be fucking wrong?" He almost spit the words out. "Other than the fact that I have to find out from Maureen of all people!" 

"Find out what?" Roger was getting annoyed, but he kept telling himself not to yell at Mark. He did not want a repeat of the other night. 

"You two want to run out and play house fine. Go ahead. Have fun. But couldn't you at least have told me?" He turned back towards Roger. "You tell my ex-girlfriend turned lesbian, and let her tell me! I'm supposed to be your fucking best friend Roger!" 

"You are my best friend Mark, but I still don't know what the fuck you're talking about. And stop yelling at her. If you're mad at me fine. But don't take it out on Cass. And tell me what the fuck you're talking about!" He walked past Mark as he spoke and sat down on the barstool, pulling Cass over next to him. 

"I'm talking about the fact that not only are you just gonna move out, but you told fucking Maureen before you ever fucking told me!"  
  
"What?"

"You guys please don't start fighting again. Please." Cass begged. She could feel the tears starting to build up and blinked them back. She didn't know what was going on, but she had a feeling it was her fault. "Roger what's he talking about?" 

He could hear the panicky edge returning to Cass' voice. God she so didn't need this. What was going on with all of them? He wrapped his arms around her hips. "Mark calm down. As a matter of fact, sit down." He kicked the other stool out towards him. "What the fuck did Maureen tell you?"

"That you two were moving out. And it sounds like soon, before it gets could outside or inside for that matter."

Roger rolled his eyes as his head fell to his hand as he rested his elbow on the counter. "God Maureen's an idiot! Actually, I'm an idiot for opening my mouth in front of her." He looked up at Mark. "And you're an idiot for listening to her!"

"Roger what's going on?" Cass asked nervously. 

He wrapped both arms around her and pulled her onto his lap as Mark sat on the other stool. "It's okay Baby." He started to laugh. "Like I said, me, Mo and Mark are just messed up idiots." 

"Uh huh. I'm an idiot all right." Mark said sarcastically. 

"Oh relax you big bonehead. We're not moving."

"You're not?" Mark asked somewhat surprised. He got a bad gut feeling all of a sudden. One that told him he may have to kill Maureen later. 

  
"No we're not. Not right now at least." He shook his head. "And not without you dumbass!"

"Oh." Yep, Maureen's gonna die. 

Cass was really confused. She didn't want to move. She really liked it here. Granted the place was sort of a dump and needed work, but she liked it. It was the first time in years she actually felt like she had a home. Not just a place to stay between jobs. But an actual home. And Cass wanted that. She really, really wanted that. Especially right now, with the baby and all. "But why would Maureen tell Mark we were moving out? And why would she say without him?"

"Did she say that Mark? That Cass and I were moving without you?" Roger asked trying to make a point. He knew the answer immediately by the look on Mark's face. 

Mark chewed on his lip as he spoke. "Um, no. I guess not. Not exactly in those words I guess." 

"Uh huh." Roger nodded his head. "Let me guess. Jen was there helping to translate the babble coming out of Maureen's mouth too?"

"Um…"

"Okay, both of you just relax. Yes I said some stuff today. Not that stuff, but other stuff. I was just annoyed and like an idiot, went off on Maureen. But of course, because it didn't directly involve her, she only heard like every third word." 

"Well what did you tell her?" Mark asked. 

"And what were you so upset about before? When I told you Mark left already? And that I gave him some money?" She asked putting an arm around his neck and lightly touching his hair. 

"Okay." He started. "How do I explain this? When I ran into Maureen I had just been running a bunch of stuff through my brain." 

"Like what?"

"Don't sound so fucking amazed Mark! I do tend to do that once in awhile." He grinned at him. "Okay, seriously though. What I said was we, meaning the _three_ of us, couldn't stay here." 

"But why?" Cass asked. 

"Because we don't really have any heat Baby." He told her. "And you can't stay here all winter with no heat. And we really can't keep a baby here. Not as cold as it gets in here. Right?" He asked Mark.

"Um yeah, I guess not. I never thought of that."

"I guess I sorta freaked out about all that on Mo." 

"But what about the other stuff she was saying? About you going on about a kid and food and a new apartment? And how were you gonna afford all that?" 

"Well how am I?" He just looked at Mark. "I mean I can barely afford this dump with no heat. And Cass doesn't have any winter clothes. Or even a coat. And yours is falling apart too. Not to mention feeding three people or four I guess, I don't know, either way, if you recall we've had problems feeding just the two of us. Plus baby stuff has got to be expensive. Thirty thousand dollars isn't going to go that far." 

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Well I'm actually getting paid for this film. Maybe that will turn into something else too. But I'll just get a job again. That will help." 

"Yeah some." He sighed. "I'm sorry. I know I told you you didn't need to do that." 

"Well this is different. And that was what almost two years ago? Besides the goal of me quitting the crappy jobs I was doing and letting you support us was so I could actually make and sell a decent film. And I'm actually doing that right now." 

"Yeah. I guess. I just feel bad. I know how much you hated doing all that stuff. At least I like bartending at the Iguana." 

"Well don't worry about it. We'll figure it out. We haven't starved yet." Mark grinned. "Hey this is a switch, me telling you not to worry about something." 

"Yeah, I guess. I'm sorry I said anything to Maureen. She was just sort of there." 

"Yeah, me too. I should know better than anyone to really listen to Maureen."

Roger laughed. "Yeah, you should."

  
Cass just sat there the whole time they talked. It was almost as if they had forgotten she was even there. They amazed her, they really did. Not about forgetting about her, it wasn't just that. It was the fact that they could get so wrapped up in each other, that they could almost forget she was there. Even though she was still sitting on Roger's lap, gently stroking his hair on the back of his head. 

Cass just watched them talk. They cared about each other so much she thought. It made her realize how much she loved them. Both of them. She couldn't imagine life without either of them. Together. Here. At this place. In the loft. 

They had both been through so much in their lives. Yet they were always there for each other. That's how strong their friendship was. How much it meant to them. She knew all about how Mark had totally taken care of and supported Roger after April died. And everything that had gone on when Mimi was still alive. And after. Mark had told her all of that. She also knew about Roger making Mark quit the horrible jobs he had worked to support his film career. And them. She knew how much that had meant to Mark. 

Over the years she had tried to send Mark money. To help them out. He wouldn't let her. She'd send him a check, he would either rip it up and send it back as confetti or draw funny little doodles all over it, making it worthless. 

She would still try every now and then, but she had been forced to get somewhat ruthless. Making payments to the power and phone company every now and then. She couldn't do it often for fear he would catch on, but once in a while a large "mistake" in their favor would happen. When Mark would tell her how incredible it was that they had screwed up again Cass had all she could do to keep from losing it on the phone to him. 

She had always known they were best friends. Close solid best friends who would do anything for each other. That was what she had always gotten from Mark. But it wasn't until she got here that she saw just what all that really meant. Cass knew her arrival had tested that friendship more than once since she got there. And they always seemed to come out of it even closer.

That settled it for her. The decision she had been flipping around in her brain for over a week or so now. Actually it was an idea she had thought of a few years ago. If only she had done something then. Things would have been so different for them. Different. Better. Well, better at times at least. She would start working on all that tomorrow. 

They had just kept talking. Trying to figure out how they were going to take care of and pay for a mess that they didn't create, or deserve to have to worry about. If she had gotten off that plane anywhere but New York, they wouldn't even have had to even think about any of that. But she did. And she was so glad she did. Cass realized there was no where she would rather be and no one she would rather be with than here, with them. 

That was what she wanted her baby to see. To grow up with that. With them. To learn what true and real friendship and love really was. The baby would never have learned anything like that with her family. But here it would. With Roger and Mark who she knew both would love it and take care of it. 

Cass shook her head. They were still talking. Still trying to figure out what to do about everything. About her. She listened again for a second and smiled. It was really nice to actually have people worry about you and want to take care of you, but his was getting almost too funny. She knew they loved her, and this proved it wasn't for her money. 

Cass slowly started laughing. "Um, excuse me?"

Both Roger and Mark stopped talking and looked up at her. "Oh, sorry Babe." 

"While I hate to interrupt this meeting of the minds, can I say something before Roger rations us down to toast, no name cereal and cheap no frills brand coffee?" 

"What's wrong with store brand coffee?" Mark teased. 

"I'll ignore the ignorance of that statement. However while I appreciate the fact the two of you are making yourselves crazy over all this, are you forgetting anything?" 

Thinking she was completely serious they started listing things off. "Food, heat, new apartment." Mark counted out on his fingers. 

"Baby stuff, winter stuff, I guess name brand coffee." Roger teased as he hugged her on his lap. 

"Your pills." Mark added. "And electricity is kinda nice too." 

"God we are so screwed." Roger almost laughed as he sighed. 

"No," Cass shook her head. "Not screwed. Just hopelessly pathetic, sweet, adorable and maybe just a little dense. But I love you for it." She slid off Roger's lap and kissed him. "Both of you." She gave Mark a kiss on the cheek as well. 

"But you both seemed to forget something." She gave them a second to catch on, but could tell by their faces they didn't. Cass rolled her eyes. "Fine make me say it." She looked at Roger. "Hello? Rich girlfriend? Trustfund? Really good paying job? Any of that sound familiar to either of you?" Blank stares answered her at first. 

"Oh yeah." Mark said finally. "I forgot about that."

"Yeah." Roger chuckled. "So did I. I guess we're so used to not having any money, my brain didn't know what to do with all that info." 

"I guess." Cass agreed with him, somewhat sarcastically as she grinned at him. 

"You know what the sad thing about all this is?" Mark started to laugh. "I just realized part of the problem with getting information out of Maureen tonight was that she was so confused by you earlier." 

"What do you mean?" Roger asked as he wrapped both arms around Cass and pulled her between his knees. 

"Well," Mark said getting up and walking to the sink. "She thought you were kidding at first." He filled up a glass with water. "Going on about finding enough money for food and all that stuff. I guess Maureen couldn't figure out why. Unlike us, she of course remembered Cass made more money last year than you and me put together in all the years we lived here." 

"Yeah, that's pretty bad I guess." Roger agreed. "I guess I sort of got a little caught up in all that." 

"You know you should have told me you were worried about all that stuff." Cass told Roger, putting her arms around his neck and hugging him. "I'm sorry I put you through all that. But I kind of liked you worrying about me." 

"Yeah well, Mark was busy, so somebody had too." He grinned running his hands up her back.

"But you don't have to worry about the money for stuff, okay? Neither of you. Mark can keep filming stuff. You can quit the Iguana if you want. And we're always gonna have food. Okay?"

"No, not okay. What if they find out about he baby? What if your uncle cuts you off? Or fires you? What then?" He looked at her. "I mean Mark and I have spent a lot of years on the edge of starving. But this is different. This isn't just me and Mark now." 

"Honey don't worry. First of all, Andre would never fire me. It wouldn't look good and we know how important that is to him. Plus he's afraid of what I'd be able to do in the company system. You know, stuff like electronic back doors and things. And even if he did, I could get another job very easily. I have a very good reputation." She told him. 

"Plus, no one can legally get to my trust fund. It's from my mother and grandmother and since I turned 21, no one but me has been able to touch it. And I've invested and re- invested so much from it, they wouldn't even know where to look. 

"But Cass…"

"No buts. This is the first time since I've gotten here that I've been able to say don't worry about it, it will be okay. So let me. Please?" She whispered into his ear. "Please don't worry. Because that I can promise will be okay." 

"Well it's just kinda weird, you supporting me and Mark." 

"Get over it. I like having a fridge of food. Speaking of which, how long has the spaghetti been boiling?" Mark asked turning the burner from high to off. 

"Oh shit!" Cass hopped up and ran around the counter into the kitchen side. "Well it hasn't been that long I guess." 

Roger was trying hard not to laugh out loud. Mark wasn't bothering to even hide it as he watched Cass pour it out of the pot into the colander in the sink. 

Roger walked into the kitchen side also and looked into the sink. The pasta that had been at the very bottom of the pan had burn marks on it, while the rest was so over cooked, it was starting to ooze through the holes in the colander. "So we're eating out again tonight huh?" 

Cass just looked at him. "I just don't understand how that happened. I guess I cooked it too long." 

"I guess so Babe." He told her, picking up a chunk of burnt, stuck together noodles. "So back to Life Café?"

  
"Oh shit! I forgot about Joellen! I gotta go!" 

"You ditched your date to come back here and yell at me? That's no way to get laid Marky." 

"Roger behave!" Cass laughed. 

"Well not really ditched. And Jen and Maureen were going to," he slapped himself in the forehead, "Oh crap! Just hurry up if you're coming with me!" 

Roger handed Cass the fleece and put on the sweatshirt he just got off the floor of his room. They headed out the door and down the stairs. "Well," Roger started, "I guess I feel better about the whole baby thing now that I don't have to worry about it or us freezing or starving." 

"Well good." Cass told him, hugging him as they walked down the steps. 

"Yep. That solves half the problem." 

"What do you mean?" Mark asked, as Cass took his hand. 

"Well like I said, I'm relieved to know I don't have to worry about the baby starving." He started to laugh. "Now I just gotta worry about you cooking for it Babe!"

Mark started laughing so hard he couldn't breath. 

"Agg! Roger Davis you are so horrible!" She tried to act annoyed and pull away but he put both arms around her, lifting her higher up off the ground. Cass wrapped her legs around his waist as he walked.   
  
"Yep! And I'm all yours Baby. I'm all yours." He laughed as he scooched her around onto his back and carried her down the steps piggyback. 


	48. 48

A/N Okay, since it's been awhile since a few of the characters in this chapter have been mentioned and because their names are so similar, I figured I should run through them real quick. Hopefully it will keep everyone from getting confused. 

Joellen – sort of dating Mark. Works at Life Café. 

Jolean – Joellen's twin sister. Dating Andrew. Met everyone when she came to the party that night at the loft.

Andrew – Works at Life Support. Plays drums and used to jam with Roger once in awhile. He came to the party at the loft. Known Roger since way back.

Hope this helps!

Chapter 48

"Hey Mark!" Jen called to him. "Where's Joellen? I thought she was coming for dinner?"

"Yeah. She'll be here soon. Her sister and Andrew are coming too." 

"You want a beer?" Jason asked, sliding Collins an empty glass to fill for Mark. 

"Thanks. What's up?" 

"Nada." Maureen told him, finishing off her beer as Joanne came back to the table with another pitcher. 

"Hi Mark." Joanne set the pitcher down and gave him a hug. I haven't seen you in forever. I did however hear about the events of last week." She rolled her eyes at Maureen. 

"Heard about that huh?" 

"Duh Mark." Maureen said sarcastically. 

He grinned. "Yeah, you know Joanne, Roger felt real bad about that. We're both real sorry." 

"You should be." Maureen said smugly. 

Joanne gave her a look. "For what? What did you do?"   


"Well," he couldn't hide the fact he was going to enjoy this some. "Roger actually realized it."

  
"Realized what?" Jen asked. 

"Just that, that was what?" He looked to Collins. "The third or fourth time he forbid Maureen to speak ever again." He laughed. "And every time it happens, you're not around to enjoy it." 

Joanne tried to swallow the laughter at that statement. She could tell Collins was doing the same. "Tell him I appreciate that. But don't worry, we all know it will happen again." 

"Excuse me?" Maureen said, not realizing till the last second she was being picked on. 

"That's not nice Mark." Jen chipped in. 

"Don't help her anymore Jen. Remember what happened last time Sis." Jason laughed at her. 

"Oh shut up. Both of you." 

"Moving on." Collins said, eyeing Mark. Wondering about the new found outgoing attitude he had started developing in the last few weeks. "So how are things at the loft Mark?" 

He gave an exasperated look and rolled his eyes. "Oh man." He shook his head. "Bitchy. Cranky. Down right psychotic." 

"And that's just Roger." Joellen said from behind him. "I snuck in the back door."   
  
"Hey." Mark grinned at her as she sat down. "Yeah he's still a little cranky about the smoking thing." 

"That's a little cranky?" She raised her eyebrows at him. 

Mark had to laugh at her. He was so used to Roger's moods he forgot how it must look to other people sometimes. She had been around the loft a lot lately. At least enough to see him, Roger and Cass in full action. And she still came back. He was almost amazed by that. Mark realized he really liked Joellen. But at the same time, he wasn't sure if he really liked her liked her, or only just regular liked her. 

Sure they had a lot in common, and she was fun. Not to mention the fact that the sex was great too. But he was kind of afraid they were just sort of going through the motions of a relationship. Almost for lack of anything better to do. It seemed to him like she kinda of felt the same way too. And Mark was glad about that. He would have hated the idea of their relationship meaning more to her than Mark thought it really was. 

"How's Cass Mark?" Jason asked, snapping him out of his thought. 

"She's okay I guess." He shrugged. "I mean I don't know who named it morning sickness, but it's more like an any time of day thing." 

"I feel horrible for her." Joellen told them. "She is sick a lot." 

"That's what Ginny said. And that if she's throwing up that much now, it'll get worse before it gets better." Jen told them, refilling her beer as the waitress took their orders. 

"Yeah. Whatever you do," Mark explained, "stay away from her with any kind of food that smells. Especially Chinese or eggs." 

"Unfortunately coffee is like the one thing that wasn't making her sick." Joellen poured herself a beer.

"Yeah, that's not helping anything." Mark said as Andrew and Jolene made their way to the table and joined them. After all the pleasantries were exchanged and Andrew and Jolene's order was placed as well the conversation turned back to Cass. 

"What did you mean about the coffee not helping Mark?" Collins asked. 

"Oh, well you know how she was always scratching? It turns out she was becoming allergic to coffee or caffeine or something."

Joellen shook her head. "Did the two of them exist on coffee and cigarettes?"   
  
"Yup." Jen answered without looking up.

"Well Joellen actually figured it out." Mark told them. 

"What was there to figure out?" She asked nonchalantly. "The girl had hives within five minutes of drinking coffee. And it seemed like it was getting worse and lasting longer." 

"Wow. Roger Davis with no cigarettes and no coffee. Hard to imagine." Jason laughed. 

"Yeah well, I'm still having a hard time with Roger Davis, Daddy." Andrew laughed. 

"Yeah I kind of know what you mean." Collins smirked trying to picture that. 

"Oh please." Maureen scoffed. "With the string of groupies that used to run through that place until April. It's amazing it never happened before."   
  
"What? April of this year? What happened then?" Joellen asked as an eerie silence fell across the table. 

Collins looked at Mark. He knew Mark's feelings on April. On who she was and what she stood for to him. He knew Mark well enough to also know the inner battle he had that went between hating her and pitying her. And the guilt he felt for hating her. And blaming her and knowing, deep down it wasn't really her fault. Mark knew Roger was a big boy and April never made Roger do anything he didn't want to do. 

Maureen regretted the words as they left her mouth. She had forgotten the girls would have no way of knowing who April was. She was before Jason and Jens' time. Even before Joanne had been around. 

Stupid Maureen. You know how Mark feels about her, but you open up your mouth anyway. No wonder Roger kept forbidding you to speak. She thought back to the many conversations she had had with Mark about April over the years. Both before and after. True, she never really liked April. Never really trusted her. But never as severely as Mark.

With Joellen's question she looked at Mark. She saw his eyes close tight as he clenched his jaw. Maureen knew what he was thinking. Knew what he saw in his mind. 

She was the one that cleaned up the bathroom. That night. After the ambulance left. She was the one that watched Mark try and comfort Roger. She was the one that sat with him when he couldn't hold it together for Roger anymore. She was the one that laid there watching Mark's fitful sleep, and held him when he'd wake up in a cold sweat from the nightmare he had for the many weeks that followed Mark and Roger finding April. 

"Um, no. Maureen said softly studying her beer, not looking up. "Not the month. She is, I mean she was, I mean…"

"April was Roger's girlfriend. A long time ago." Collins said softly. 

"Uh yeah." Maureen continued. "Back when Collins and I lived at the loft with Mark and Roger. And April. She uh, died." The words came out quietly as Joanne took her hand under the table. Maureen's foot went further under the table, bumping up against Mark's ankle and staying there. He looked up and caught her eye as well. She felt his leg shift and press against her's. They may be with other people she realized, but hey will always be there for each other at least.

"Oh." Was all Joellen could think to say. She saw the look on Mark's face. She had a pretty good idea there was more to it then she just died. She felt horrible having brought everyone down like this with one simple question. Maureen should have known all this. Why did she even bring it up? Joellen had mixed feeling about Maureen, especially where Mark was concerned. But at the same time, she sort of had mixed feelings on Mark too sometimes. 

Jen tried unsuccessfully to stifle a small laugh. Jason heard her and shot her a look, which only made her laugh again. "I'm sorry. Really." She told them, covering her mouth with her hand as their food arrived. "I mean I just keep going back to that Roger as a daddy thing."   
  
"I know what you mean." Joanne had a small grin forming. 

Jason was still giving her evil looks and Mark hadn't really looked up yet, but Jen kept laughing. "I mean it wasn't that long ago we were joking about Roger even knowing how to wash dishes, much less change diapers."

Mark got a small smile at that. She was right, it was kind of funny to think of. "Yeah, I think I know what you mean."

"Please! Roger needs Mark's help to change his mind." Maureen started to laugh a little too. "How is he ever gonna change a diaper?" 

"Can't you just see it now?" Andrew asked. "A two year old in a leather jacket." 

"With biker boots and bubble gum cigarettes." Joanne giggled. 

"And a sucky attitude." Jen started laughing again. 

"Whose first words will be either 'fuck' or 'whatever'." Mark grinned. "Dripping with attitude of course." 

"Yeah," Jason started laughing too now. "The kid's first sentence will either be "Mark get that fucking camera out of my face' or 'Maureen shut the fuck up'!"

By then the uncomfortable silence that followed the mention of April was long gone. They spent most of the rest of the meal laughing and joking at images like those. 

"So when is she due?" Jolene asked. 

"May 24th." Mark grinned.

Jen shook her head. "This kid's gonna turn out totally twisted." 

"Jennifer!" Jason yelled at her. 

"It's not a bad thing." She tried to explain. "I just mean with those two for parents. And Mark as whatever Mark's supposed to be."

"Hey!" Mark protested. 

Jen kept going. "Not to mention the strange assortment of, well, aunts and uncles it's gonna have. It's just not gonna be your normal everyday childhood." 

"Maybe that's a good thing." Collins said. "Think about it. We all had, to some extent, what is considered a normal childhood. And look what happened. We all left that for what? A chance to be who and what we want? Live the way we want? With people who understood and appreciated us?" 

Always the professor, he continued after the dramatic pause. "So would that be so bad? I mean wouldn't you have rather grown up with people like us? At least to some extent, then with who and how we actually did grow up? Waiting eighteen or so years to go looking for a place where you feel like you fit in and belong?" 

"Then in Scaresdale with Howard Cohen, father of and I quote, 'that idiot who still can't get a real job after wasting all my money at Brown'? God yes." 

"Or hearing your whole life about how 'those freaks are going to burn in hell.' Yeah, preferable." Jason said leaning against Jen, who reached down and held his hand.

"Or being called a dumb slut tramp? Just like your mother. Yeah, could have lived without it." Jen said with her eyes on the table. 

"She's crazy and insane if she thinks that crap is art! Or if she thinks she's getting any more of _my _money. Especially if she's dating girls!" Maureen imitated her father. 

Joanne shook her head. "You went to Harvard for God sake Kitten! I can understand you doing pro bono work there, but living down there? Like you're one of them? Really! And how much longer is this lesbian phase going to last? People are starting to talk!"

  
"When are you going to have some clue as to what you're going to do with your life?" Joellen joined in. 

Jolean looked at her twin and grinned. "Things like that are nice hobbies dear, but what do you want to do for real?" 

Mark was staring at his beer. "I walked into a fucking door and I don't want to fucking talk about it!" He imitated Roger. "And my mom and my brothers walked into the same fucking fist shaped door and I don't want to fucking talk about that either! Whatever!" Mark drank back the rest of his beer. 

Collins looked around at the group as another silence fell among them. No one was looking at anyone. He hadn't meant to depress anyone. He actually started out that little speech in a positive direction he thought. 

Mark looked up and realized no one else was looking up. But Maureen was getting this huge grin on her face. "What's with you Mo?" 

"Well," she beamed, "Collins is right. All things considered, that's gonna be one lucky ass kid. I mean it's gonna have all of us to begin with. But think about it." She almost couldn't contain herself. "We're gonna have a baby! We are actually gonna have a baby!"

Mark looked around the table and knew he wasn't the only one to realize what Maureen meant and was actually saying. She didn't meant just Cass and Roger. And she didn't just casually mean all of them. No, they were family. They were _a _family at this point. He was glad about that. He knew Roger and Cass would be too. Especially Roger. "Yeah, your right." Mark smiled back. "We are gonna have a baby!"

********************

As they walked into the Iguana, Mark spotted Cass about halfway down the bar, filling a pitcher. "Yo! Bar Wench! Bring us some beer!" He yelled to her. Cass just gave him a look and finished filling the pitcher she was working on. 

"Oh there's a good way to get yourself killed." Roger said as he walked up behind him with a rack of glasses. "It's not like she can't get you while you're sleeping Marky. And don't expect me to protect you." He grinned at him.

"Yeah I know. So, where's our free beer?" 

Roger looked at Jason and Joellen. "Christ, he's already half lit isn't he?" Their laughter answered him. "Hang on." He turned. "Hey Cass, fill two." He started putting glasses up for them. 

"Having only seen her with the cast on her arm it looks strange to see her without it." Jason told Roger as he watched Cass fill the pitchers. 

"Yeah kinda. But thank god it's gone. She couldn't take much more of that thing. And she was killing me with it. She was dangerous in her sleep with that thing. Nothing like waking up feeling like you been hit with a baseball bat all night." He laughed, leaning against the cooler behind the bar. He watched her, talking to customers and taking money. She filled the two pitchers from the tap and brought them over. 

"Hey guys!" Cass set the pitchers down and leaned into Roger. 

"So," Collins grinned, "you ready to give up that high powered, well paying job of yours and take up bartending?"

"Um…no!" She grinned at him. "It's kinda fun once and awhile though." She looked up at Roger as his hands went around her hips and landed on her belly. "Yeah, if she did this, she would have to get dressed before seven at night." Roger teased her. 

"Oh look who's talking." She teased back. 

"How did you get conned into doing this anyway?" Maureen asked, pouring herself a beer. 

"Izzy had to take Krystal to Jersey. And Dave couldn't cover for him. So that only left poor Roger with no one to help him but Rob." Cass explained, giving Roger a pouty face and saying it all in a pity voice. 

"Oh, so in other words, Roger begged?" Maureen joked, taking a drink. 

"Exactly. It was pathetic." Cass laughed. 

"Hey! I never beg!" He slipped his arm up across her chest to her shoulders, almost putting her into a playful headlock, kissing her ear as she looked at Maureen. And did I tell you that you were allowed to speak yet?"

"Hmf!" Maureen glared aback at him as the other bartender called Roger for help. 

"Go help Rob. You're supposed to be working!" Cass told him, nudging him in the ribs with her elbow. 

"So are you." 

"Oh you mean I'm actually going to get paid money for helping you out tonight?"

"Well, maybe not money, but I'll pay you, don't you worry Baby." Then he whispered into her ear. "I'll do something to you, or um, for you." He grinned, cocking an eyebrow to let her know that wasn't a mistake. 

"Go help Rob. We'll talk to you guys later." She let him move her down the bar, giggling as he whispered something else into her ear. 

Jason and Joellen took all but the three beers Mark, Collins and Maureen were holding over to the tables where everyone else had sat down, leaving the three alone at the bar. Maureen took a sip of her beer and watched Cass and Roger down the bar. "You know, I never thought I would see it." 

"What's that Mo?" Collins asked. 

Still looking at them, "Roger Davis, actually happy." 

"What are you talking about?' Mark asked somewhat defensively. "He was very happy with Mimi, and April too I guess." 

"No, he was content and happier than he ever had been alone. But never just plain happy. I don't think he ever was. That boy was mad at the world already the day I met him and that was before April, and everything." 

She looked at Mark, who was studying his beer. "I don't mean it badly Mark. I know he loved Mimi. I mean she was one of my best friends. I'm not saying he didn't love her or wasn't happy with her. But there was always something else there. Even at their best times. Even at his best times with April back before things got so bad. It's just like there has always been this thing there. Like the world has been crushing in on him for a number of years, and even when he is happy, there was always still a shadow that hung over him. That he couldn't escape from.

"All I'm saying is he seems actually happy this time. No dark cloud following him around that he's just waiting to pour down on him. So much so that he isn't just locked away in his own little relationship world. Where everyone only sometimes exists. He's out here, with the rest of us, and he just seems really and truly happy this time. And for a change he's in a relationship that is more than just drugs and sex like April or well sex and sex like Mimi."

She saw the look on Mark's face. "Oh give me a break! Don't look at me like that! You know it's true. Him and April and especially him and Mimi, it was constant sex! They were like rabbits and you know it." Maureen shook her head. "I mean think about it, if he and April weren't too wasted, they had nothing else to do or say but have sex! And with Mimi, well I think that was a little different, they had a different kind of, I don't know, spiritual bond or something. Where they were afraid to let each other go for any length of time. Which resulted in constant sex! Collins you were there. Am I right?" 

"Well…" Collins trailed off. 

Mark got a little smirk. "No you're wrong. There was more than that with both of them. You forgot the fighting."   
  
Maureen grinned. Mark had realized her point. "Okay, so there was that too. All I'm saying is, this time actually seems to be different all the way around. Like he's not waiting for the next bad thing to happen. And I'm really happy for him." 

"She's right." Collins agreed. 

"Yeah, she is. Wow. Wonders never cease. Roger Davis truly happy and Maureen Johnson actually right about something." Mark hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.


	49. 49

A/N Short little chapter (especially for me) but very important because it sets up future events.

I was also asked to do a few more character recaps. I know this has gone on a long time, and has pulled in a lot of new characters. So anytime anyone needs a little "review" please don't hesitate to ask!

Jennifer Sumner – Lives on the second floor. Works at a design firm, but in a low-level gofer type job. Moved to NY from Minnesota.

Jason Sumner – Jennifer's twin brother. Jason is gay and has been living/dating Collins for a few years now. He teaches college art and design. 

Ginny – She lives in Mimi's old apartment on the third floor. She moved in there when Mimi moved up to the loft. She was friends with Mimi from the Cat Scratch Club. She is still working as a stripper, but goes to nursing school and is due to graduate in December. She and Roger have that love to hate each other relationship, but they really do get along.

Izzy – Has known Roger for a long time. He owns the Iguana, the bar Roger works at.

Krystal – Izzy's longtime girlfriend. She teaches fourth grade.

Leslie – She also lives on the third floor next door to Ginny. She's quiet, so we don't hear from her often, but she is good friends with Ginny, so she is often with Ginny. She just usually let's Ginny do most of the talking. 

As for Cass' family, I know that gets a little confusing sometimes, so while they aren't in the story line any time soon, we'll run through them quickly too. 

Carlton – Cass' father. 

Andre – Cass' uncle.

Anton – Cass' step cousin and the source of all the problems.

Gigi – Andre's wife. 

Marguerite – she works for the company and is a friend of Cass'. She handles a lot of the business type things for Cass so we see her name come up when she has work related things. 

Hope that helps. Like I said, just let me know if anyone gets confused at any point. I'll gladly post this again. And as usual, thanks for your continual support!

Chapter 49

Roger had been laying there watching Cass sleep for almost thirty minutes now. Just watching her. Listening to her breath. She absolutely amazed him. She stirred as he ran his fingers along her arm. Her eyes slowly fluttered open as she looked around and saw him. Before she could say anything he leaned over and kissed her. 

"What was that for?" She smiled at him as she interlocked their fingers. 

"Cause you're amazing. And beautiful. And I love you." He leaned down and kissed her again. When he pulled his head back up he grinned at her. "And if I do that now, before you start moving around, there is less of a chance you'll throw up on me!" 

"Oh thanks!" She pulled him down so he was laying across her chest some, running her fingers through his hair. "Go back to the amazing beautiful part." 

"Okay." He grinned, knowing she couldn't see his face as he ran his hand across her stomach, staring at it. "You're one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I knew that the day I met you." 

"That's because I yelled at you for being mean to Mark."

"Well, that's part of it. A small part." He rubbed his hand over her stomach again. "And you're absolutely beautiful." 

"You think so huh?" 

"I know so." 

"Well I'm definitely looking better than I was. No more bruises, taped ribs and casts." She scratched at his back with her now cast free right hand. 

"Nope." 

"Nope what?"

"Nope, you are as gorgeous as the day I met you." 

"Oh thanks." 

"No I mean it. All bruised up, with that black eye, I still thought you were beautiful. And I still do." 

"Yeah well, we'll see how long that last, when I'm all fat and huge." She sighed.

Roger moved his hand from her stomach and placed it under hers, kissing each of her fingers before setting both their hands back down onto her stomach. "Nope, you'll still be beautiful and I'll always love you." 

"Thank you Baby. I love you too." She picked up her hand off his running it through his hair. 

"How big do you think it is?" He asked after a moment.

"I don't know. Pretty small. Maybe almost microscopic still I guess." 

"Yeah I guess." He realized he sounded almost disappointed and hoped Cass didn't hear that in his voice. 

"We could find out. On the Internet. There has got to something on there somewhere. We'll look it up." She stretched her arms out over her head. 

"Really? We can do that? That's on the Internet?" He surprised himself at how excited he actually sounded as he sat up. 

Cass just looked at him. She was surprised at his interest in the baby. She was also amazed as usual of both Roger and Mark's almost total lack of a clue as to what you could do with a computer now. She laughed. "Yes Roger, that's probably on the Internet. I keep telling you two just about everything is on the Internet." 

"Let's go look!" He almost jumped off the bed.

"Okay, okay, slow down you technologically disadvantaged, still living in the 80's, Atari playing…."

"Just get up!" He laughed at her. 

"Okay. What time is it anyway" 

He pulled on a shirt and looked at his watch. "Almost noon. Come on!" 

"Noon! Did you take your pills? I never heard your watch go off." She stood up quickly from the bed. As she did it she realized it was too quickly as she fell back down onto the edge of the bed. 

"Are you okay?" He dropped down to his knees next to her. 

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm fine. I just got light headed. I stood up too fast. But did you take your pills? Are you two hours late?" 

"Yes, yes, I took my pills. On time. I woke up before my watch went off, that's why you didn't hear it. Now are you sure you're okay? You want some crackers? Or soda?" 

"No. Maybe. I'm okay." 

Roger crawled over to the milk crate that served as a nightstand and grabbed the box of crackers. "Here eat these." He handed her some crackers. "And don't go jumping off furniture anymore." 

"Yes dear." She told him in a sarcastically obedient tone, but smiling at him the whole time. 

Roger was still sitting on the floor rubbing her leg. "Well somebody's got to make sure you're okay. You're sure not going to do it on your own. Somebody's got to take care of you." 

Cass chewed on the cracker and just looked at him. She swallowed and smiled again. "Oh look who is talking. If only Mark could hear you now." 

Roger grinned, knowing she was right. "Well he can't. And if you love me he never will!" He leaned up and kissed her on the forehead. "And like I said, the less you move around the less my chances of getting puked on."

**********

After a few more crackers and about twenty more minutes they came out of the bedroom. Joellen was sitting at the far computer typing. She looked up when they came out. "Good morning. Cass I hope you don't mind. Mark said I could finish typing this up here instead of the computer lab at school."

"Oh yeah, sure. That's one's not a work computer. Just do me a favor, don't put any disks in it that have been in the school lab computers. Email yourself and save it that way. I don't want to pick up anything. I hate cleaning up viruses." 

"Where's Mark?" Roger asked, pouring himself and Cass orange juice into two coffee mugs. 

"He left about an hour ago. There are bagels in the bag if you want. What time did you guys finally get home last night?" 

"About four. Did we wake you guys up?" She gave Roger a look and grinned. 

"Nope. I never heard you. And Mark pretty much crashed when he hit the bed. Oh Cass, Fed Ex delivered this a little while ago." She held up a package. 

Roger set the juice and bagels down on the counter and walked over to Joellen for the package. Cass watched Joellen check out his ass as he turned and walked back towards her. That had amused her when she first got here. Neither of them were modest in the least. It didn't phase either Roger or Mark to go walking around in their boxers or even a towel. That had surprised her some. At least about Mark. 

Cass picked up the cup of juice and made a face as Roger sat down at the counter, handing her the package. "Pretend it's coffee." He told her digging bagels out of the bag. "What is all that?" 

"Well," she ripped open the large envelope. "Yes! Good. Oh Marguerite, I love you! I swear, you want something done in this stupid company, you have got to go to her. I'll bet Andre has no clue how screwed he would be if he ever lost her." 

Cass smiled at him. "Here. Look." She slid the letter from the top of the pile of papers over to Roger. 

He picked it up and looked at it. A grin came over his face. "Um, Babe?" 

"You're not mad are you? I mean it just makes sense. And it'll be easier." 

"Cass…"

"I'm sorry, but damn it, it's my department, and I can hire whoever I want, for whatever I want." 

"Cass?"

"And it's not really a paycheck. It's just a consultant position." 

"Uh, Cass?" 

"I know I should have told you, or at least asked you, but I was afraid you would say no." 

Roger was still holding the letter. "Cass the letter's in French. I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Oh sorry! Sometimes I don't realize what language I'm reading in." 

"Start at the beginning." He could tell she was getting nervous to tell him. "What did you do?" 

She chewed at her lip for a second then looked at him, taking a deep breath. "Okay, you know I'm in charge of research. Well, my department, I can hire who I want." 

"Uh huh." Roger bit into the bagel, not sure where this was going. 

"So I hired two research assistants. Freelance assistants for now. Who only work when I need them." 

"Uh huh." 

She chewed at her lip again. "So I set it up so that while it's freelance work paycheck wise, it still comes with benefits." She looked down at the counter and played with her cup of juice. He voice dropped down low. "Like dental. And health insurance." 

"Cass!" 

"Oh wow, look at the time, I got to be at work in like, four hours. Well, got to go, don't want to be late. See you at the Life after Cass cooks. Ugh! I mean, sorry. I'll just leave now." Joellen gave a very uncomfortable laugh, collected her papers, grabbed her bag and almost ran out the door. 

Roger and Cass watched Joellen nervously pack up her stuff and take off. As the door closed they looked at each other and laughed. "I think we scared her off." Cass laughed. 

"Yeah. That was a faster exit then I ever even saw Mark make." He looked at her and took her hand, interlocking their fingers. "Come here." He pulled her over between his knees. 

"Are you mad?"

"Tell me again what you did."

Cass sighed. "I hired you and Mark so you would have health insurance. Real health insurance. The same as mine." 

  
"Why?" 

"Well, because you don't have any. And I saw what the meant the other day." 

"Cass I don't want you--"

"No! I don't want you going back there! Roger you are one of a million people going to that clinic. You need to go to a real doctor's. A good one. Where you aren't sitting around for five hours. To see somebody completely different each time!"

She started crying at that point. "I know you don't want me doing stuff like that, but tough! Damn it! I have the money and I'm sorry, but that is what it is going to take to get you a decent doctor."

"Cass." He said softly, putting his arms around her. "Shhhh. Come on don't cry. Please." 

She was crying harder now. "And what about Mark? He could get an appendicitis. Or an ulcer. Or need his head super glued or something. And, and, because we're going to have a baby." She sobbed into his shoulder, her arms around him, squeezing tighter than ever before. "And I want you around for that. For a long time." 

"Okay, okay. Just don't cry. I'm not mad. I understand why you did it, I'm not mad. It's okay Baby." He kept rubbing her back. "I want to be around for that too."


	50. 50

Chapter 50

"There's Mark." Jen pointed out the window as he walked by, obviously having a heated conversation on his cell phone. 

"Where are his glasses?" Maureen asked looking up. "God I hope he didn't break them again."

Mark came through he door, still talking. "No! I'm not gonna call him. You want her cell number, you call him." He walked over to the table where they all sat. "Damn it Roger. She'll think I'm checking up on her if I do that." 

"Hey where are your glasses?' Maureen interrupted him. 

Mark looked up but ignored her. "Hold on." He said into the phone before moving it some. "Is Cass here?" He asked definitely annoyed. 

Collins, along with everyone else, looked up at that statement. "Um, no. Should she be?" He asked, somewhat alarmed. 

"No she's not." Mark said back into the phone. "No. They are fine. For God sake Roger it's only Jersey! They are probably stuck in traffic." At this point Mark had everyone's undivided attention. "Because she is a nice person and she'd never let anything happen. I… No… Fine! You want me to say it I will!" He turned around and walked back out to the sidewalk. "I know because there is no way in hell Allison would ever take any girl who has anything what so ever to do with you around Benny! Look I'm sorry okay? Can't you just relax and be happy she went out with someone other than us?" 

Mark tuned around and realized all their friends were watching him through the window. He turned back towards the street, away from them. "Look, I'm sure she'll be home soon. And I know she's fine. Call me back in ten minutes and I'll call you if she shows up."

Mark hung up the phone and walked back into the Life Café. Jason poured a beer and set it in front of the empty seat. Mark fell into the chair, dropped the phone on the table and picked up the beer. "Thanks." 

Everyone was still looking at him, waiting. Finally Jen broke the silence. "Well?" 

"Huh?" Mark looked up. 

"Mark is everything okay?" Collins asked. 

"No, it's not." 

"Well?" Jen asked again almost unable to contain herself. "What's wrong?" 

"What's wrong is they are going to give me an ulcer." 

"Mark! What is going on?" Maureen asked. "If you're here, and Roger's where ever, looking for Cass, where is she?" 

"They are making my crazy!" He dropped his head into his hands. "Cass is shopping." He sighed and leaned back in the chair. "Actually, if Roger wasn't making me crazy the whole thing would be pretty funny." He grinned. 

They were all still looking at him. "Okay." He began, still grinning. "Out of all of our friends, who does Cass have the most in common with? Like life, job, school, money, stuff like that?"

"That's easy." Jason said, nodding towards Maureen. "Joanne." 

Collins got a small grin. "That's true, but he's talking about Allison I think."

"Bingo!" Mark said, touching a finger to the tip of his nose. 

"Ewww." Jen said, making a face. "That could be messy." 

"Yeah, tell me about it." Mark drank back more of his beer. "Anyway, Allison comes to pick up the dog, they start talking. Next thing you know, they're like all buddy buddy or something I guess."

"So where's Cass right now?" Jen asked. 

"She went shopping at Paramus Park mall in Jersey with Allison."

"So what's Roger's problem? He should be grateful he doesn't have to go shopping." Maureen asked, pouring more beers. 

"You mean other than the obvious Benny thing? Just that they had said they would be back like forty-five minutes ago and Cass isn't picking up her phone for some reason." 

Their waitress came over and took their order. Joellen stopped by on her way back to the kitchen. "Hey! God, we are swamped tonight! This is the first chance I even got to say hi to you guys. What's going on?" She put a hand on Mark's shoulder as he looked up at her. 

"Honestly, the same stupidity that has been going on for years!" He laughed. "I'll tell you later." 

"Okay, I got to go. I'll stop by later." She went back to work. 

"It is kind of funny." Maureen laughed. "I mean Cass and Muffy as friends. Can't you just picture the four of them going out to dinner together." 

Mark started grinning. "No place that involves steak knives. Or actually any type of eating utensils for that matter. Those two could turn chop sticks into weapons!" 

"Yeah! Roger might try to use one like a wooden stake and drive one through Benny's heart!" 

"Naw!" Mark kept going. He and Maureen were cracking up. "That would never happen. Roger doesn't believe Benny has a heart!" 

"Oh and can't you just hear the conversation! One word answers followed by multiple expletives mumbled under their breath!" 

"And don't forget the stare down! Both of them trying to glare each other to death!" 

Everyone was amused, but by now the two of them were almost falling out of their chairs. Maureen was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes. "God I would love to be a fly on the wall for that!" She wiped at her eyes trying hard to not mess up her makeup.

Mark was turning bright red as he dropped his head into his hands, trying to pull himself together. "I don't know what I'm laughing at, somehow I know I'm gonna get shit for this." 

"Probably." Collins agreed, watching the two of them. "You two think you'll be able to make it through the night?" He grinned at them. His question bringing a whole additional round of laughter from the two of them.

"Heads up." Jason said seriously looking out the window. "Benny's Range Rover just pulled up." Upon hearing that Mark and Maureen tried again to pull themselves together.

"Holy shit!" Jen said as she watched Roger open the door to the Range Rover. 

"He doesn't look too happy." Jason observed. 

"When does he ever when Benny's involved?" Jen asked. 

"Maybe I'll go say hello to Allison." Collins told them standing up. 

"Can I hide in the kitchen?" Mark joked. The look he got from Collins was answer enough and he shut up. Their food came as Collins started outside. 

*********

Roger opened the back door and was helping Cass out as Collins came around to the driver's side window. 

"Collins! I haven't seen you in ages! How are you?" 

"Pretty good. I'm back at NYU." 

"That's what Cass was telling me. I'm glad to hear you're doing so well." 

"So I hear you finally found a shopping soul mate." He nodded towards Cass. "Roger should be grateful. If you take her shopping he doesn't have to go. Not that he couldn't use the fashion advice I'm sure." 

Roger just sort of looked at him as Cass leaned into the open passenger window. "Well you can only do so much Internet shopping. You lose your mall edge otherwise." She joked. 

"I think you have a way to go before that happens." Allison laughed. 

"We were just getting ready to eat Allison, do you want to join us?" 

"Ah, tempting offer, as I haven't had a tofu anything in forever," she leaned back and glanced into the Café window, where she could see everyone very intently watching them. "I think I better pass. It's bad enough your sweet innocent Cass was kidnapped and corrupted for the day by the wife of the number one bastard and slumlord of the Alphabet City. I don't know if Maureen and everyone could handle me for an entire meal." 

"You know it's not like that." Collins said gently. 

"I know, I'm just being extreme. But I really do have to go. Poor Georgio is probably ready to burst. Cass, I had a wonderful time. I'll email you the stuff we talked about. I think it's a great idea." 

"Thanks. I'll forward you the info I was able to pull out. I had a great time. I'll talk to you later." Cass told her backing up herself and Roger away form the car. 

"Great! I'll talk to you. Bye Collins. It was great seeing you. Tell Mark and Maureen I said hi. Bye Roger. Sorry again about us getting back so late. You gonna let her come out and play with me again?" Allison put on a pouty face. "Please?" 

"Yeah, I suppose." He got a small grin. "You brought her back in one piece I guess." The possessively wrapped arm that had gone around her stomach earlier was joined by his other arm, which tightened his grip around her waist, as he pulled her back towards him even closer. "And it looked like she had a good time. Or at least bought a lot of crap. That's the same thing with girls right? Shopping equals happiness?" 

"Something like that." Allison grinned. "I gotta go. See you later. She waved and pulled away from the curb. 

Collins watched her drive off then looked at Roger and Cass. "Well it looks like my dinner's here. You guys coming?" He asked them pulling open the door to the Life Café. 

"Yeah, we'll be right there. Hey, order me a cheeseburger dinner." Roger called. 

"Me too." Cass told Collins. "Soy. And a coffee shake."

"Right. Two soy cheeseburger dinners and a shake. Got it." Collins grinned at Roger.

"Funny. One soy burger, one cow burger." Roger grumbled at him as he went through the door. They were still standing in front of the window and Mark, Maureen, Jason and Jen were still watching them like they were the movie of the week. Roger turned back towards them and smacked the window. "Get a fucking life!"

Cass rolled her eyes and dragged him over to the side where they couldn't be seen. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asked. He held both her hands as he leaned against the wall. 

"You're mad at me. Now whether it's for running off and going shopping without you, or running off and going shopping with Allison, or running off and going shopping with Benny's wife I don't know. I've got my suspicions, but I'm not going into that right now. You got issues with Benny. And I should have remembered that. So I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put you in that position."

"Oh crap. Come here." He pulled her close and whispered into her ear. "No, I'm sorry. And I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at me. For being an idiot. It's just that… you were… I don't know, gone. And really late." His hands traveled from her waist and up her back, pulling her so tight almost lifting her off the ground. "And not answering your phone… and with Benny. Sort of." His voice trailed off as he looked down and away. 

"But Roger I wasn't with Benny. I was with Allison. And now I'm with you. And I'll always be with you Roger. Forever. Believe me. Please. Because I loves you. You." She backed away and held his face gently in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "Do you hear me Roger Jackson Davis? I love you. No one else.

"Especially Benny. Honestly, Benny repulses me. The way he treated you. All of you. It makes me sick to think about what he's done and how he's treated all of you guys over the years. You. Mark. Collins and Maureen. Allison. Mimi."

She was still holding his face, but he couldn't look into her eyes. He had kept his focus on her mouth. Watching her lips move to make the words he so desperately wanted to hear. Then she said Mimi's name. His eyes shot up to her's. 

When their eyes met it was like knives stabbing him in the heart. Remembering Mimi. Remembering how much he lover her. Remembering Mimi and Benny. Remembering how much he hated her then too. And that made him feel horribly guilty. For as much as he loved Mimi at times he hated her that much too.

And here he was, convicting Cass of doing the same thing as Mimi. Cass, who had done nothing at all to provoke that. Nothing but try to love him, like Mimi did. And that made him feel horribly guilty as well. His eyes dropped to the ground. 

Her hands were still on his face. "Yes Mimi too. What? You think she got out of that scott free from him? He treated her like crap before she ever even met you. And he would have continued doing it whether she was with you or not. The fact that being a bastard to you hurt her and being a bastard to her hurt you was just an extra plus for him." 

Cass bent down some so she was looking up into his down turned eyes. "Roger I love you. But if you can't get past the Benny thing, I'll deal with that. But do you understand that nothing could ever make me give you up, especially for Benny. Do you remember that I'm going to have a baby? With you silly?" 

At the mention of the baby a small smile came over his face. "Yeah, I remember that." He pulled her close and kissed her, long and hard and needingly. "And I'm really glad about that too. All of it. You and me. The baby. All of it." He spun her around and pinned her against the wall and kissed her again. "I'm so sorry Cass. I love you. I really, really do."

"Good. Now take me to dinner, I'm starving! I feel like I haven't eaten in days." 

"Well come on. Let's go feed you. Both of you." He started to pull her towards the door. "And I really am sorry. I want you to be friends with Allison, I really do. She's really a nice person. It's just, I don't know." He shook his head. 

"It's okay Roger. I understand. This is a really big thing for you. It's going to take time." She pulled the door open and looked back at him. "I'll tell you what. Until you are more comfortable with this whole thing, anytime Allison and I are going shopping you can come with us. She promised to take me to all the best malls in the tri state area. Is that a deal? Just you, me and Allison, mall shopping till we drop!" She winked at him to let him know she was kidding. 

"You're evil!" He nipped at her neck as they walked in the door. "But very tasty!" 

*********

Maureen slowly put a french frie in her mouth as she watched the scene unfold outside. "Well this is cheaper than the movies." 

"What do you think they are saying?" Jen had twisted herself around to see, not caring about being obvious. 

"You gotta love Collins. He's only going out there to try and appease Roger. I'm sure he could care less about that little bitch." Maureen told them snidely. 

"No, he always really liked Allison. And honestly she never really did anything to us. It was all him." Mark dumped more ketchup on his burger as he spoke. "But you're right about the appeasing Roger part. He's a braver man that I am." 

"That's apparent, considering you're sitting here and he's out there with them." Maureen came back at him. 

"Hey I got to live with them remember? I pick my battles, because no matter what I do, I'll get sucked into the war." He told her though a mouthful of food.

"Don't be such a pig! And where are your glasses? And why aren't you squinting?" 

Mark swallowed and grinned at her. "Because now that I have insurance, I got contacts. I picked them up on Wednesday. Apparently I desperately needed new glasses, I just didn't know it until I looked through the new ones. But now I've got glasses and contacts." 

"That's great Mark." Jason told him. "It's going to take some getting used to seeing you without glasses though." 

"Ewww! Roger's saying something!" Jen was almost jumping up and down as she spoke. "I wish he would turn around a little at least. Then maybe we could read his lips some. I'd love to know what's going on out there." 

"Jennifer you are pathetic! For god sake will you just leave them alone. Stop being so nosy." Jason scolded her. 

"I can't help it, I just need to know." 

"Well here comes Collins, maybe he'll tell you." Maureen pointed out.

"Doubtful that he will feed into her incredibly rude and undying curiosity. He's better than that." Jason told her. 

Roger turned back towards them. They could see what he said more than hear it, but when he smacked the window, all of them jumped some especially Jen who let out a small yelp of surprise. "Scare me half to death!"

"Jennifer it serves you right for being such a nosy pain in the ass. Now turn around and eat your dinner. And when they do come back in let it all be unless they bring it up!" 

"But Jason!" 

"No butts!" 

Collins came through the door, stopping to speak to the waitress as he did. "Well Allison said to tell you all hello." He told them sitting back down to his salad. 

Jen opened her mouth but shut it after a look from Jason. 

"Just tell me everything is fine. Please?" Mark pleaded. "I don't have time to go following him all over the city while he hunts down Benny wanting to kill him. And besides, the last time they got into it, I was the one who ended up on the ground." 

"Marky when are you going to learn to stop trying to break up Roger's fights. I mean he's like six inches taller than you are. So is Benny almost for that matter. You're going to get hurt." 

Wow, concern from Maureen. You rarely got that when you dated her. Mark pushed those thoughts out of his mind for now. "I know, I know. Just tell me he's cool Collins. Please." 

"I think so. He seems to be acting fairly rational, for Roger at least. It's strange, I feel like I've been saying that a lot about him lately." He let out a small laugh. 

"Well he looks like he's in a decent mood." Jason said as he watched them walk through the door. "So just let it be Jennifer." 

"Hmf!" Was all she said, pouting in the corner of the booth. 

"Collins did you order us food?" Roger asked as he and Cass sat down. 

"Yes, she already put the order in." Collins told him, taking a bite of his salad. 

"Okay," Mark began, "so where were you and why didn't you answer your phone?"   
  
"I was in New Jersey. Interesting place. Never been there before. Nice Mall though." She told him sarcastically as she took a few of his onion rings and started to eat them. "As for my phone," she looked at him, "the battery mysteriously went dead. Strange considering it was plugged in last night."

"Yeah." Roger reached his arm around behind Cass' shoulders and flicked Mark in the ear. 

"Ow! That hurt. What the hell was that for?" Mark cried out, rubbing his ear. 

"Her phone was plugged in until somebody unplugged it to charge their dumb camera battery."

"Oh." Was all Mark could say as Roger flicked his ear again. "Ow! Cut it the fuck out Roger. See," he looked at Jason and Collins, "I told you somehow I'd get shit for this." 

Roger grinned and flicked at his ear again, but Mark smacked his hand away. "Cut it out, you fuck! You're gonna whack my glasses." He reached over to flick him back. 

Roger smacked him in the back of the head. "You're not wearing your glasses dork! You got contacts. Remember?" He tried to hit him again as their waitress brought out the cheeseburgers and set them in front of Roger and Cass. 

Cass leaned forward for the ketchup, as they play fought behind her. She let them go on and just started eating. 

"Oh for god sake cut it out both of you!" Maureen yelled at them. "Now!" 

"Fine." Mark said, pulling his arm back down. 

Roger got a small grin and as Mark turned his head he picked his arm up to flick his ear again. Until then Cass had been ignoring them and eating her cheeseburger. When she felt his arm move behind her back she swallowed the bite in her mouth. Without ever looking from her burger she hollered at him. "Roger cut it out. Now." 

He dropped his arm back down around his shoulder as she went back to her burger. "Fine." He gave Mark a look, who gave him one back. 

Collins and Jason just started laughing at them as Roger dumped ketchup on his fries. "What the fuck are you two laughing at?" 

"Yeah? What's so funny?" Mark demanded, the dispute with Roger forgotten and suddenly they were teamed up again. 

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Collins laughed. 

Jason coughed into his hand while saying whipped. 

"Bite me." Roger told them picking up his burger. 

"No thanks. We'll leave that to Cass." Jen laughed. 

"I swear I don't know how you live with them Cass. Always acting like idiots." Maureen told them. 

Cass just shrugged and grinned as she bit into her burger again. Roger, still holding his burger turned to Maureen. "You lived with us and you survived." He told her, biting into his cheeseburger. 

"Yeah well, I was young and stupid then." She laughed. "What's the matter?"

"Ugh." He swallowed hard. "This is yours. Eww. Fake meat." He drank down the rest of Mark's beer. "Yuck!"  


As everyone else laughed at him, Cass just looked at him for a second then down at what little of the burger was left in her hands. "I ate meat?" She told him through a mouthful of burger. She swallowed hard. "I can't believe I ate meat." 

"I can't believe you couldn't tell the difference considering your soy thing tastes like cardboard." He laughed at her, along with Mark. 

"You want the rest?" She held it out to him. 

"No," He laughed, "I don't want the one bite of my burger that's left." He grinned eating his french fries. 

"Sorry. I told you I was starving." She dumped her fries onto his plate, picking up the soy burger. "I can't believe I ate meat." She shook her head finishing off his burger. 

"How long have you been off meat Cass?" Collins asked her. 

  
"Like four or five year." She said, drinking her shake. "I tried going totally vegetarian except for fish, but it was too hard to find food when I was traveling. I had to go back to poultry too. But I stayed off red mean and pork. Except for bacon sometimes." 

"How did you manage to do that anyway?" Jen asked as she finished her dinner. 

"Actually it was pretty easy. I mean you're already off meat on Fridays in lent, especially in Europe. And you have to give up something, and it wasn't going to be alcohol again. So one year I gave up meat all together for lent. The hard part wasn't even the wanting it. The hard part was just finding something else to eat." 

"No way." Maureen said, stealing one of Roger's fries. "I never could have done it. I don't have the will power for that. I would have cheated." 

"No fucking kidding." Roger said dryly. "Who ever would have guessed that." 

"Behave." Mark snapped at him as Maureen gave him an evil look. 

"Oh, sorry." Roger told her. "I, ah, didn't mean it quite like that." He gave Mark an apologetic look. 

"Right." Maureen said bitterly. 

"I didn't. I was actually referring to my french fries which you always steal. But maybe if it wasn't so damn true and you weren't so damn guilty, maybe you wouldn't be so damn sensitive about it." 

"Fuck you Roger." 

"No Maureen, I'm about he only one you didn't--"

"Okay! Moving on!" Mark yelled at both of them.  
  
"Fine!" She snapped back. 

"Sorry." Roger said, but it was obviously directed at Mark more than Maureen. 

"So ah, Cass, what did you buy today?" Jen asked, trying to move away from the previous conversation. 

Cass had already started in on the soy burger, and as Jen asked her the question she was putting one of Mark's onion rings into her mouth. 

"Obviously not lunch." Roger laughed at her. "I've never seen you eat so much." 

"I told you, I was starving. That girl can shop. She had me up and down that mall. We must of hit every store there. I swear, I think she can smell a sale." 

"Yep, sounds like Muffy." 

"Allison." Mark told Maureen. 

Ignoring Mark, Maureen continued. "So what did you get?" 

"I bought a coat." 

"She bought a jacket. You'll freeze if you think you can wear that all winter in the city." 

"Will see." Cass ran though some of the clothes and things she picked up during the day.

After awhile Joellen came back over and sat down with them. "God I thought I would never get a break. I swear, it must be a full moon. Every table I've had has been filled with loonies." She looked around, pulled a coffee cup out of her apron pocket and poured some beer into it from the pitcher. "Shhh!" She told all of them. "Ewww, this is warm, do you guys want another one?" 

"Is it free?" Mark teased her. 

"Maybe." She grinned, "I'll see what I can do." She turned to Roger. "So when did you guys get here? Cass burn dinner again?" 

Roger didn't say anything, but both he and Mark started laughing. 

"Shut up, I'm not that bad." 

"Babe, you burnt spaghetti." Roger laughed at her. 

"That's easy to do." Jen tried to help. "Spaghetti sauce burns easy." 

"Uh-uh." Mark laughed. "This was just the pasta, no sauce involved."

"Oh, I've done that, boiled off all the water. Ruins the pot." Jason said. 

"Yeah," Jen gave him a look, "my pot of course."

"No," Roger laughed, "I don't know how she did it, but there was plenty of water left, but a whole bunch of the noodles were just burnt black and all stuck together."   
  
"It didn't say it had to be stirred on the box." She told him, finishing off her shake. 

"Cass, I don't understand how, being as smart as you are you can have so many problems cooking anything beyond cereal, toast and coffee." Joellen laughed. 

"My brain just functions on levels much higher than that is all." She told them sarcastically as she casually picked up Roger's beer, realizing her shake was gone. 

"Oh excuse me Miss Smarty Pants!" Mark needled her. "You would think your high functioning brain would be able to figure out that there are temperatures between off and high on the stove." Just as casually as Cass picked up his beer, he took it out of her hand. "And you're not supposed to be drinking that." 

Cass sighed and looked at Joellen. "Don't you have work to do instead of starting trouble?" 

"Honey, starting trouble is my work! This place is just a job! I gotta get my kicks somewhere." She stood up, picking up the almost empty pitcher. "I'll get you guys another one. Are we still going out later?" 

Mark looked at Jen and Maureen who nodded. "I guess, how much longer are you here?" 

  
"Maybe another hour, hour and a half." Just then Roger's phone started ringing. "Can I take a quick shower at your place first?"

"Yeah, we'll be there." Mark told him, ignoring the ringing. 

"Roger are you gonna answer that?" Jen asked. 

"Why?" He asked her like it was one of the strangest questions he had ever heard. "They're here." He pointed at Cass and Mark. "And you guys are here. Who does that leave I'd actually want to talk to?" The ringing stopped. "Besides, if it was actually important, whoever it is would call Mark anyway."   
  
As if on cue Mark's phone started to ring, which produced laughter from everyone. "Hello?" He grinned and handed the phone to Roger. "Izzy said to tell that jackass that he knows you're sitting right there and answer your damn phone so he doesn't have to bother poor Mark." 

"Right." Roger took the phone. "What?"

"Okay so maybe Izzy didn't say that last part, but I'm sure he was thinking it." Mark along with everyone else laughed at that. 

"Give me a fucking break Iz. How the hell did he do that?" They were all listening to Roger when Joellen returned with the pitcher and set it on the table. "Well what do you need me for?… Oh whatever! Hold on." He looked at Cass. "Are you going to kill me if I have to go save Izzy's ass?" 

She shook her head no while yawning. "Uh-uh." 

He realized how tired she actually looked after being out with Allison all day. "Yeah, all right. I'm coming. You so fucking owe me Iz!… Oh whatever!" He grinned and hung up the phone.

"What happened?" Mark asked him pouring beers for everyone.

"Vinny, the bouncer on Friday nights, is a dumbass. He was trying to impress some girl by juggling beer bottles and he cracked him self in the head with one." He laughed.

"I'll bet it didn't work." Collins told them. 

"Probably not." Roger laughed again. "But he was already short handed for tonight. So now Izzy's gonna bounce and I gotta run the bar." Roger stood up and tossed some money on the table. I got to run back by the loft first. I'll see you guys later. You want to go back with me or wait for them?" 

Cass tried to say something, but only yawned instead. She stood up, pointing at Roger. "I'll see you guys in a little bit." They said goodbye and Cass and Roger left the Café. 


	51. 51

A/N Another short but important chapter. I was hoping to post this sooner. I'm trying to get chapters out faster, but it didn't seem to work this week. Oh well, enjoy!

Chapter 51

When Mark and everyone came into the loft, Cass was sitting on the couch reading, surrounded by wires and computer equipment. She started moving things so someone else could sit on the couch. 

"Roger leave already?" Mark asked her. 

"About Twenty minutes ago. Jason throw that stuff on the floor and you can sit there." 

"Okay, despite my personal opinion of certain people, she does have incredible taste in clothes, so show me what you bought." Maureen told Cass, flopping onto the chair. 

"Oh it's all piled up in the other room. I need to buy a dresser." 

Maureen opened up the door to the room that had been Mark's office and saw Cass' stuff. Good. That meant Mark's work stuff had been moved into Mimi's room. That made it Mark's office now instead of Mimi's room. She knew that was a good thing. That all of them has sort of moved on. And that is what Mimi would have wanted. But while she was glad about that, for all of them, including herself, she couldn't help but still feel a tiny bit guilty. After looking through all of Cass' new clothes she closed the door and came back over to them sitting back on the arm of the chair. "What is all that stuff Cass?" 

"That's what I was trying to figure out." Jason said picking up a few wires and looking at them. 

"It's a splitter. So I can burn CD's." 

"I thought you already had a CD burner. What do you need that for?" 

"It's a splitter." She shrugged at Jason. "It splits stuff sort of. I don't know, I just do." Frustrated, she threw down the manual on the couch and went into the kitchen and started to get a glass of water. 

Mark rolled his eyes and shook his head at Jason, silently mouthing "meow." He picked up the splitter and looked at it. "Relax Cass, it was just a question. Geeze." 

"I'm sorry. I'm just tired and I don't feel good all of a sudden. Maybe I ate too much at dinner."   


"Yeah think?" He teased her. 

"Leave me alone, it was like the first time I've wanted food in just about forever." She snapped at him. 

"Cass I'm glad you're eating, just maybe you shouldn't try and make up for it all in one meal. You know?"

"Shut up and explain to Jason what a splitter does." 

Mark laughed at her before turning to Jason. "It should take different signals and let you put them all together. But what are you gonna do that has that many signals?" 

"Roger's band. All the mics and the amps. I didn't need one this big, but it's got room if we need to add more stuff later." 

"Wait, so you can make like an actual, real CD of his band?" Jen was impressed. 

"Uh huh. The acoustics won't be perfect, but I can set the levels through the computer. And taking it directly out of the sound system, and burning it onto a CD it will be a much cleaner copy than any tape." 

"Wow. That's so cool!" 

"Uh huh. Plus, if I can ever get Mark to move into this century, he could digitally film and edit too." 

"What? Sell out to electronically, computer generated filmmaking? Never!" 

"Yeah Mark," Jason laughed, "we wouldn't want you to do anything like that. I mean, god forbid you ever do anything computer generated. Like those losers that did that movie you like so much, what was it? _Toy Story_?"

"Or the poor, and I emphasize poor bastards that made your other favorite, _Terminator 2._ With the cop morphing into that silver stuff." Maureen said sarcastically. "Yeah those sellouts just don't know what they are giving up." She grinned as she spread her hands out, gesturing to the whole loft. 

"Everybody's a fucking critic!" Mark laughed. "But that's cool about making CD's. Are you coming with us tonight?" 

"No." She shook her head. "I'm gonna finish this and go to bed. I'm so tired." 

"Are you sure?" Jason asked. "We'll take you past the Iguana." 

"No really, I'm too tired and I have a really bad headache. That's like the last place I want to be at the moment." 

"Are you gonna be okay here by yourself?" 

"I'll be fine Mark. Go out and have a good time. I don't want you blowing off Joellen to sit here while I sleep." 

"Oh I wasn't going to stay. I'm going out with Joellen. I was gonna make Jen or Maureen stay with you. They've got no lives!" He laughed at them, joined by Jason and Collins. 

"Hey!"

"Jerk." Maureen looked at Cass. "Are you sure sweetie? I mean I hate to admit Mark's right…"

"Oh let me get that on film!" Mark cut her off as she gave him an evil look. 

"As I was saying, while I hate to admit he may, possibly be right. At least until Joanne comes back. Or actually this whole Washington thing is over. But if you want me to stay with you I will." 

"No I'm fine really. When is she coming home?" 

"Well, she's actually off this weekend, but her parents are in Washington for something. She got sucked into that. But she'll be home two weeks from tonight." 

"That's Roger's birthday isn't it Mark?" Jen asked as he nodded his head. "What are we going to do for it?"

"I don't know." Mark shrugged. "Sit around drinking beer someplace. Like we do for everyone's birthday. Or just because it's a weekend night. Or weekday night for that matter." He laughed. 

Maureen got a mischievous grin and looked at Cass and Mark. "You know, for something different, we could throw him a surprise party." 

They all just looked at her like she was crazy. Cass was the first to speak. "You want to throw a surprise party for Roger?"

"Mo have you lost your mind?" Mark laughed. 

"Sorry Mo, you must be confused. We're talking about Roger Davis. You know, you've met him." Jason teased her. 

"Yeah, tall, occasionally blonde, brooding, sulking, shitty attitude. Last person in the world that would ever want a surprise party." Mark explained to her like she was a four-year-old. "Lives here, and oh yeah, would kill me if I ever let you do that!"

Maureen shook her head, grinning. "No not a real surprise party." 

  
"What then, a pretend surprise party?" Cass asked her. 

"Well sort of." Maureen was getting excited, this was one of the best ideas she had had in a long time. "We make him think we're having a surprise party, but the surprise part is, there's no actual party." 

  
"In other words, make him sweat it out, drive Cass crazy, kill Mark, all so you get the satisfaction and thrill out of watching him think we're throwing some big party?" Collins asked her. 

"Well…" 

"Mo, it's his birthday, not yours!" Jason laughed. "But it would be kinda fun to watch. Play it up big, drag him someplace, just to walk in and find just us." 

  
"The look on his face would be pretty good when he found out it was only us." Collins said as he considered the whole idea. "We would have to set it up so he found out a little at a time. Just to give him the suggestion that something may be up at first." 

"Right, leave little clues. Let him put it together himself." Maureen said anxiously, excited they had caught on. 

"Um," Mark waved his hand in the air to get their attention. "While I hate to break up this great meeting of the minds, can I point out one thing? This is Roger we are talking about here! Are you all out of your minds? Hello? We have to live with him remember?" He looked to Cass for support. 

"It's a really good plan Maureen, but his might not be the best year to do that." 

"Uh huh." Mark agreed. He didn't know where she was going, but he didn't care provided she backed him up on this. 

"I mean he won't admit it, but he's still a little stressed out over that whole food/heat thing." 

"Uh huh." Mark was vigorously nodding in agreement. "Real stressed out. Over that and ah, other stuff too. Real bad year to do that." 

Cass gave a small grin to Mark. "Besides, it will never work." 

"Why not?" Maureen asked, surprised. 

"Because you told Mark all of it." She shrugged. 

Again, Mark didn't care how, as long as she talked them out of this really bad plan. "Right, you told me already, so it will never work." 

"Mark can keep a secret." Jen said. 

"True, but not from Roger, not when he's trying to pry it out of him. You'll drop a hint, he'll take it, go directly to Mark, knowing he'll get it out of Mark. Mark tells him it's a surprise party. He freaks out wanting to know how Mark could let you do that. To keep from making life extremely difficult for the next two weeks, Mark gives up the rest and tells him the party is actually a hoax.

"Now Roger would actually respect that set up. Probably even find it funny. But when he finds out it was Maureen's idea, he'll do everything possible to get back at her. To the point of making you think he almost wants and expects a surprise party. 

"So in the end, it'll go from setting up Roger for your amusement to Roger setting up Maureen for his amusement. And you know he'll take down anybody else that gets in his way on the that little mission." Cass laughed at them. 

"She's right." Collins agreed. "It'll never work."

"Thank god, a voice of reason. So, back to the original plan? Sit around, drinking beer someplace?" 

************

"Bye Roger, see you next week." 

"Yeah see you Tina." He closed the front door and locked it. "Izzy let's go, we're done." 

"Hey you got a few minutes? I want to talk to you." 

"It's 3:30 in the morning. Where do I have to go besides bed? You want a drink?"

"Yeah pour us a pitcher." 

Roger did and sat down at a table with a bowl of pretzels, kicking his feet up onto the table. Izzy came over and sat down, pouring himself a beer as well. He lit a cigarette and held the pack out to Roger who shook his head. Izzy grinned, having forgot Roger had quit smoking again. "So how you doing?" 

"I'm tired because I hadn't planned on working tonight and your bouncer's a jackass. I'm hungry too. Cass ate my burger." 

"Yeah I kinda meant about all that."

"You mean the baby thing?" He grinned. "I'm okay. Actually I'm pretty cool with the whole idea now."

"You got enough money? I could probably fire Vinny for being a dumbass. Get you more shifts." 

Roger laughed. "You should fire Vinny for being a dumbass, but if you set that as criteria for employees around here, you'd only have us and a couple of the girls left. But yeah, we got enough money. Cass gets paid very well. And for some strange reason she doesn't mind living like the rest us poor folk. But yeah she's got a great paying job. And family money too. She keeps telling me not to worry to just trust her." 

"Do you?" 

"Yeah, it's just a strange concept at this point. You know, having enough money as opposed to not enough, or any for that matter." 

Izzy nodded as he drank his beer. "As long as you got enough money. You know if you need more shifts you just gotta tell me."

Roger was spinning his empty beer glass on the table. "Yeah, thanks Iz. I appreciate that."

Izzy filled up both of their glasses. "So did you go to that doctor Cass got you?" 

"Yeah, yesterday." 

"What did he say?"

"That I'm fine. She actually lowered my dose. Gave me a bunch of vitamins. She said something about going to some nutritionist or something. Cass is all into that I think. Since she's been here she must have told me and Mark we eat like crap almost every day." 

"Could be a good idea though. You know how Krystal's all into that stuff." 

"Yeah, so's Cass, that's what worries me." 

"What do you mean?" 

"You know Cass doesn't do meat really. Just fish and like turkey and chicken." 

"So?" 

"So, have you ever eaten a soy burger?" 

"Uh, no, I've never eaten a soy anything." Izzy laughed. 

"Yeah well, after the bite of the soy burger I had today, I wish I 'd never eaten a soy anything either." Roger laughed, pouring himself another beer. 

"I can appreciate that I think." Izzy laughed. "So, um, how's Cass?" He watched Roger get a small grin at the mention of her name.   


"She's great. I mean she's tired and puking a lot, but other than that she's great. She went shopping all day today." 

"By herself?" Izzy asked somewhat surprised. 

"No, but with just Allison. All the way in Jersey. First major place without me or Mark."   
  
"That's good. So she's doing a lot better on her own. She still seeing Elizabeth?" 

"Yeah, once a week. But Elizabeth says she's doing really good. I mean I guess she wouldn't say anything else, but Mark and I think she's doing really good. Especially compared to when she first got here."

"That's good. Really good." He looked up at Roger, watching him for his reaction. "So uh, you think, considering she's doing so good, and Mark and everybody is here with her, she would be okay if, um, you were gone for about two weeks?" 

"Huh?" 


	52. 52

Chapter 52

"Cass you want something to drink or some toast?" Joellen asked through the bathroom door. Cass opened it and came out, shaking her head as she walked over to the couch and flopped down on it.

"Hey sweetie how do you feel this morning?" Mark asked her in way to good a mood for eleven in the morning. 

"How the fuck do I look like I feel Mark? I want a cigarette and a cup of coffee and to stop puking up absolutely everything I put in my mouth! And I'm tired of scratching and itching for no good reason. And having to pee every twenty minutes. And my chest hurts and my face keeps breaking out. And I'm sick and tired of everyone asking me how I feel when it's damn obvious I feel like crap!" She was almost crying. 

Mark wasn't sure what to say to her as he watched her on the couch. "Um, sorry Cass. Do you want anything?" 

"No." 

Mark looked at Joellen who just shook her head at him. "Just leave her alone for awhile." She whispered as the phone ran she moved to answer it. "It's Jen Cass. She said Mo's on her way over." 

"Tell her I'll be down in a little bit, but I don't know if I'm going." 

Joellen relayed the message to Jen and hung up the phone. Why don't you make her some tea and toast Mark. I'm going to go take a shower." 

After it was ready Mark carried the tea and toast to the couch. Cass looked like she was sleeping, with her arms held tight over her chest. When he set the plate down on the milk crate, she opened her eyes and smiled at him. "Thanks Marky, you're such a sweet heart." 

Confused, Mark just smiled at her. "Uh, no problem Cass. You want anything else?" She shook her head and she sat up to drink her tea. 

"What time did Roger get home?"

"After six. I think he and Izzy were sitting around drinking. He came home mumbling something about telling me something. Actually, I don't know if he was mumbling or if that was just how I heard it. I was so tired." 

"Yeah, I thought I heard something around then." Mark stopped there. Lately he wasn't sure what was safe to ask her. 

Cass stood up and stretched, making a face like it hurt. She picked up the herbal tea and piece of toast. "I'm gong down to Jen's. Are you going to be here if I go with them or do I need my keys?" 

"Yeah, I'll be here. All day I think." 

Cass nodded as she slipped on her shoes and walked out the door. Mark went into his office and started looking at his notes from the other day. After awhile he heard Joellen get up from the couch and answered the door to let Jason in. 

Mark came out into the living room as they sat down on the couch. "What are you doing over here this early?" 

"Oh you know, Jen calls." He shook his head. "God help the idiot that marries her."   


Mark laughed as Joellen swatted him with her notebook she had been working in. 

"Oh come on, it's the truth and you know it!" Jason laughed.

"Uh uh. I'm staying out of this one. I got enough problems up here, without adding your evil twin into it." Mark sat down as Roger's bedroom door opened and he came out. "Ewww. Morning sunshine." 

Roger gave him the finger as he walked into the kitchen and poured himself some of the coffee Joellen had made earlier. "Where's Cass? And what are you doing her so early?" He asked Jason. 

"She's downstairs with Jen and Mo. That's why I'm hiding up here. That apartment is way too small to be locked in with the three of them. Especially right now. I'll finish up Jen's sink after they leave." 

"What do you mean?" Mark asked. 

"You know. Jen has perpetual PMS, Mo is well, just Mo and Cass," he shook his head, "I don't know how you guys are surviving that rollercoaster ride." 

"Leave her alone," Roger told him from the kitchen "she's sick." 

"She's not sick," Joellen just looked at them, "she's pregnant. And completely hormonally out of wack. That poor girl has so many more hormones running through her that her body has got no clue as to what to do with all of them." She shook her head. "That's why she's been so moody, emotional, wacky and bitchie." She shrugged. "That's why she was like that this morning."

"What happened this morning?" Roger asked Mark. 

"I don't know exactly. I asked how she felt, she bit my head off and was almost crying. Five minutes later, she was regular, sweet Cass. Now that I think about it, you're right. She's been kinda like that a lot lately." 

"Yep. Hormones. She's probably having a boy. Between the major mood swings and all the rashes and how sick she is, I'd definitely guess boy." 

All three of them were just looking at her. Joellen gave a small laughed. "Men. See you guys are difficult from before you're even born."

Roger ignored that last part and asked Jason where the girls were going.

"Jen was getting her nails done and I think she talked Cass into it too. When I left they were trying to decide how to fix Cass' chest." 

"What?"

"I don't know. I try not to listen too much. It can get dangerous. Something about her chest exploding. I don't know." 

"Yeah," Mark added. "She said something about her chest killing her this morning too." 

"Like I said, hormones." Joellen told them. When she realized they still didn't get it she continued. "Haven't you noticed her chest is getting bigger?" 

"Oh yeah. Definitely bigger. All of a sudden too." Jason told them. Mark, Roger and Joellen all just looked at him. Shock and surprise were evident on Roger and Mark's face. Jason started laughing. "What? Because I'm gay I'm not allowed to notice? I'm an artist, I notice stuff like that. Especially when it sort of, well, jumps out at you like that." 

"Um, yeah, sorry Jason. Never really thought about it from your uh, perspective." Mark started. "As for Cass, I hadn't noticed. Or didn't want to look. I don't know." He shook his head. "Did you notice that?" 

Roger thought about it. "Sort of. Maybe. I don't know. I guess I just thought it was wishful thinking." He grinned as Jason and Mark just laughed at that comment. 

"You guys are sick and twisted. All three of you. The two of you don't know anything about pregnant women or babies do you?"

Mark and Roger just shook their heads. "Well considering you're living with one, and having the other don't you think maybe you should find out a little at least?" 

"Yeah I was thinking that." Roger said, biting into an apple. "Cass pulled something up on the Internet the other day. To find out how big it was." 

"What?" Mark asked. "The Internet?" 

"No dumbass, the baby." 

"Oh. Well? How big is it?" 

"Like a half an inch long." He walked over to the computer she had said they could play on and turned it on. "She said she put a bookmark in the place we were looking. You know what that means?" He asked Mark who just looked at the computer screen for a second. 

"Oh for god sake." Joellen moved over by Roger. "You two have been living this little bohemian lifestyle you are so proud of for too long." She sat down at the computer. "After you two find out how babies and pregnancy works maybe you should consider finding out about computers. I swear." She shook her head. 

Joellen pulled up the site, gave them some basics on the computer and Internet searches and left. Jason went back down to Jen's leaving them alone. He knew if he stayed, he would just end up getting himself in trouble watching them.

**************

Roger was sitting on the couch working on a song with his guitar as the door opened and Maureen and Cass came in. 

"Looking up porno sites Marky?" Maureen teased him sitting at the computer. 

"He better not be. Those things are like breeding grounds for computer viruses." She gave him a wink as she walked around and sat down next to Roger who put the guitar down on the floor.

Roger turned so he was leaning against the side of the couch. He put both arms around her, pulling her close and nuzzling her neck. "Hey Baby. Where have you been?"

"Jen dragged me with her to get our nails done. I haven't bothered since like last June. But they are growing really well now. The girl at the nail shop said that happens when you're pregnant." 

Roger grinned, thinking back to the conversation earlier as she said that. Yeah, her chest was definitely getting bigger. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mark. Roger realized immediately he was trying to check out Cass' chest to. "Mark!" He growled at him then laughed as he watched him start to turn red.

"Sorry." Mark got up form the computer, motioned to Maureen and walked into his office. 

"What was that?" Cass asked, confused. 

"Nothing." Roger laughed. "Let me see your nails." She held out her hands in front of her. "Nice color." He grinned at the blue polish. He held her right hand, playing with her fingers. When he looked at her pinky he felt the anger and hatred bubbling up inside of him.

Cass felt him tense up and knew he was thinking about everything. He did whenever he looked at her finger that she couldn't quite straighten out. "It's okay Baby. Like the song says, 'that's just my battle scar'." She whispered to him, kissing his fingers. 

  
He nodded, holding her tight still. "Did you eat anything?" 

Form the office Mark heard Roger ask Cass if she had eaten. He grinned, looking at Maureen. "Listen to this, it'll amuse you." She gave him a strange look, but listened to them none the less. 

"No. I'm not hungry." 

"Cass you gotta eat something."

"I had a piece of toast earlier." 

"You gotta eat something more than that." Roger told her. 

Maureen got a twisted grin on her face as she whispered to Mark. "Does he have any idea how much he sounds like you talking to him?"

Mark shook his head. "Wait, it gets better." He whispered back. 

"Well, did you take your pills?" He asked her. 

"What's the point? I just throw them up anyway." 

Because the doctor said you had to take the vitamins, especially if you're throwing up." 

Maureen clamped a hand over her mouth to keep form laughing out loud. She watched Mark silently chuckling away at her and them. 

"But the pills are one of the things that make me fell like throwing up." 

"Well so do mine sometimes, but you don't see me complaining."   
  
Maureen went wide-eyed at that statement. "Tell me Roger Davis did not just say that!" 

Mark was laughing out loud by now. He couldn't help it. Between hearing Roger almost quote word for word the conversation it seemed the two of them had had for years, along with Maureen's reaction, it was too funny. 

"He's got no idea how ironic that whole little scene is does he? Or the irony of all that coming out of his mouth?"

"Nope, not a clue. Told you that you would find it amusing." 

"Well, I'm hungry. Let's go get some dinner. I'll take you anywhere you want to go. Besides, I want to talk to you about something." 

Maureen was about to walk out of the office when Mark heard Roger tell Cass he wanted to talk to her. Quickly, he grabbed Maureen, pulling her back into the room. He pulled her harder than he meant, and that, mixed with her surprise, landed her right up next to him, their faces only inches apart, her hands on his shoulders to brace herself. 

"I, ah, um, let them, um, finish. He's got to talk to her about something." 

Maureen could tell he was suddenly flustered. She tried to hold in the smile she felt coming to her lips. She could still fluster Mark. He used to call her a goddess and here they were, years later and she could still get to him. That felt pretty good. She needed the ego boost. Especially lately, the way things had been going with Joanne. So knowing that definitely felt good. But she realized that wasn't the only thing, Mark felt pretty good too. 

That sort of freaked her out. She wasn't supposed to even like guys anymore. Especially Mark. But here she was, again. Looking into those blue eyes, again. Actually liking it, again. "What, what do they need to talk about?"

"Um, I um, I'll tell you later. After." She seemed to be moving closer to him he thought.

"After what?" Maureen asked him, almost in a whisper, still looking into his eyes. 

"After, um, after they uh…"

Just then the door flew open the rest of the way as Roger stuck his head in the door, making both of them jump back some from each other. 

"Mark we," he paused for a second, looking for words as he took in the scene, having seen them jump apart and how nervous they were acting now. "We, um, we are going to go get something to eat." He told them backing out of the room. "We, uh, I'll uh, talk, I mean see, we'll see you later. Bye." He said quickly grabbing Cass by the arm and hurrying out of the loft. 

************

"What's going on?" 

  
"Nothing. We're going to eat."  


"Then why are we running down the stairs Roger?" 

He hadn't realized they were running. Actually he did realized they were running, what he hadn't realized was the idea of Mark and Maureen together again would bother him quite so much. 

"Sorry." He kissed her on the cheek as he opened the door to the outside and they went down the steps to the street. 

"Roger what's going on?" Cass stopped walking. "Nothing. Well something. But not that." He babbled. 

"Roger, what is going on? Why did we almost fly out of the apartment? Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? Something is really wrong isn't it?" 

"No, maybe, I mean the big thing no." He looked into her eyes, which were patiently waiting. "Okay. Yes I've got something big to talk to you about. But it has nothing to do with just now. That could be absolutely nothing. And when I find out, I'll tell you about it then. Okay?"

She nodded. She trusted him. When he was ready to tell her, he would. They walked on in silence till they reached the Life Café. 

Roger looked up, realized where they where and laughed. "I tell you I'll take you anywhere you want and we end up back here? Are you sure?" 

"Yep." She kissed him, pulling him through the door. I want pancakes." He grinned and let her pull him in. They got seated, and the waitress took their orders. 

"Okay what is going on? What's the big thing you wanted to talk to me about?" Cass knew it was big. And that it was important to him. She could feel that. She was also confident that whatever it was, it wasn't bad. She watched him hesitate, afraid to tell her. Cass put her hand on his, running her finger over the cross tattoo on his hand. "Roger, just tell me." 

God she was incredible. He took a deep breath. "Okay. Izzy's got a cousin, Trey. Well he's got a band. A good band." 

"Uh huh." She was listening intently, never taking her eyes off of him. 

"Well, one of their guitar players, well, long story short, he screwed up, and has to serve two weeks community service or get locked up for six months. So they need somebody to fill in for him." 

"Baby that's great! Izzy will let you do it?"

"Yeah Izzy's the one that told me about it. But there's one catch." 

  
"There always is." She grinned at him, her enthusiasm not waning a bit. 

"Well, like I said, they're a good band. They're an opening act for a bigger group."

"Roger that is so good. Is there any chance it may go longer than two weeks?"

"Cass wait. You don't understand. When a band has an opening act, that means they're touring. Not just a house band like us at the Iguana." 

"Oh. But it's only two weeks?" 

"Yeah Baby. It's only two weeks. But It's in Philly and Pittsburgh. Then Cleveland, Detroit, Columbus and Indianapolis." 

"So that mean you get to play on tour with real bands? Bands like on the radio?" 

"Yeah, they're on the radio, But Cass I would be gone for two weeks if I take it." 

"What do you mean if?" She asked wide-eyed as the food got set in front of them. "Roger you have to do this. This is like the first step in everything you ever wanted!"

He just looked at her. She was amazing. "But Babe, I'd have to leave for two weeks. I can't take you with me. You'd have to stay here."

"I know." She looked down at her pancakes, pushing the butter around. "But you have to go Roger. It's important to you. I'll be okay." 

He reached up and pushed a piece of hair back behind her ear. "You're important to me too Cass." 

"I know that." A tear ran down her cheek and he wiped it away. "But I'll be around for more than two weeks. You have to do this now. While the chance is there. You have to go." 

"You are the most amazing, incredible person I have ever met. Have I told you lately I love you?" 

"Not since this morning." She smiled at him. 

"Well I do." 

"Good, because I love you too." 

"Are you really sure?" 

"About loving you?" She pulled back in surprise. "Of course I'm sure." 

"No, I know that." He held her hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles. "I mean are you sure about me going?" 

"Yes. You have to go. And then that means I'm in love not only with the most talented, incredible, sexy, guitar playing, songwriter in all of New York, but he's also a famous touring rock and roll star!" 

"It's a long way from famous rock and roll star Cass." 

"You're famous to me." She smiled at him. "Does that make me a groupie?" 

He gave her a mischievous grin. "Yep. My own personal groupie." 

"As long as I'm your only person groupie." 

"The one and only."

"Good. When do you have to leave?" 

"Two weeks from today. I need to be there for the Saturday night show. See how it runs. I need to learn the music between now and then too."

"Well you'll be here for your birthday at least." 

"Yeah, I guess." H looked own at heir intertwined hands. "I'm sorry Cass." 

"For what?" She asked, taking a bite of her pancakes. 

"For leaving you alone." Someday for good he thought. 

"But you're coming back Roger. It's not like you're dumping me for life on the road. Besides, I've lived out of hotels and traveled like that for work remember? After awhile, you'd hate it." She winked at him. "I'm not worried, you'll be back." She grinned at him. 

"I just feel bad, like I'm deserting you." 

"You're not deserting me. And you're not leaving me alone. Mark will be here. And everybody else. And it's not like you are going to miss anything while you're gone anyway." 

"I'm going to miss two whole weeks of you." 

"Lucky you! Two whole weeks of not having to watch me puke. Or watch me scratch at the latest batch of hives. Or get bitched out. Don't think I don't know you and especially Mark are almost scared of me at time. Even I know I'm like emotionally psychotic lately." 

Roger just started laughing. "Yeah but you're cute anyway." She looked at him skeptically. "Okay, maybe a little less cute when you're throwing up, but you're still cute." 

"You're crazy Roger Davis. You know that right?"

"Yep. Completely certifiable." He grinned at her. 

They finished their food and headed back outside. Roger stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing and sucking on her neck as he walked them along. "God, I'm gonna miss you. What am I gonna do for two whole weeks without you? Don't know if I can go that long not having you near me. Not being able to touch you and everything." 

Cass just gave him a sly grin over her shoulder. "Well then, we'll just have to make sure you get as much of me as possible."

"Okay!" He gave her the most mischievous grin she had ever seen on his face. "You want to start now?"

"Relax. You're not leaving yet. We got time." She grinned. 

"Okay." He looked around for a moment. "How about now?"

Cass rolled her eyes at him. "Grow up!" She laughed. 

"Okay." He told her, sounding disappointed, but he kissed her on the ear and grinned at her to let her know he was kidding. 

"I don't want to go home yet. Can we go for a walk?" 

He slid up next to her, keeping his arm still around her. "I guess. Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know." She headed away from the loft and towards St. Mark's Place. Cass stopped and looked Roger over from head to toe. "You know Baby, I'm so excited for you. This whole thing is just so completely awesome. We really should celebrate." 

"Okay!" He grinned, scooping her up and turning back towards the loft. 

"Roger!" She laughed at him. "You're crazy! Put me down!"

"You said we should celebrate." He teased her. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him on the ear. "Uh huh." She ran her tongue down the edge of his ear biting at this earlobe. "We should celebrate." She told him in a low whisper. "So you know what I'm gonna do?" She ran her hand down his chest. 

"What?" He asked, barely able to get the words out. 

"First, I'm going to get you out of those pants. And then…" she purred into his ear. 

"Uh huh?"

"Then I'm going to buy you some new clothes!" She laughed as he let go of her legs, dropping her feet to the ground. 

"Your evil Cassiopeia Sullivan! Incredibly cute and sexy, but truly evil." 

"No I'm not!" She was hanging from his neck, standing on her toes. "But if you're going to be an incredibly talented guitar playing, song writing, famous touring rock and roll star, you're going to need to look good." 

"You left out sexy. You said that one before." 

"I know I left it out. I don't want you looking too good out there. Besides, I'd hate to think you would need to have laundry done while you were gone. Then I may have to worry about those willing to do laundry groupies." 

"Cass I don't want you buying me clothes." 

"But you need stuff. Please. Think of it as an early birthday present. And it would make me really happy." She looked up at him, arms still around his neck. 

"I'm not going to win this am I?" 

She shook her head.

"Fine. Buy what ever you want." He wrapped his arms around her tightly and pulled her close. "I love you Cass." 

"I love you too Roger." She held onto his neck. It seemed the longer he held her, the tighter he held her. Finally not wanting to let him go, but she had to say something. "Roger," she said taking a breath. "Roger you're crushing my chest." 

He let go quickly. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?" He asked thinking back to the conversation earlier that day involving Jason and Joellen. They were right. Her chest was definitely getting bigger. 

"Yes I'm fine. I'm just a little sore. In case you haven't noticed, I'm having chest issues." 

"Oh I noticed!" He stopped. "I mean, well, you know." He watched her laugh at him. She is so beautiful. They walked a little farther before he stopped in front of a baby store. It was closed for the day, but they looked at the clothes in the window. He hugged her from behind, his hands sliding down and stopping on her stomach. "When do you go back to the doctor?" 

"The morning of the 31st. Halloween." 

"Oh." He tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. 

"She turned some to face him a little. "You'll be gone by then won't you? I can change it, if you want. Move it up some." 

"Whatever you want to do Cass." 

"She did say we should be able to hear it's heartbeat that time." 

"That's cool." 

"I'll move it. I want you to come with me. I want you to hear it with me." 

"Yeah," He grinned. "That would be really cool to hear. I'd kinda like to hear that." 

A/N After returning from getting her nails done, Cass makes the statement "Like the song says, 'that's just my battle scar'." She is referring to the Third Eye Blind song "Wounded." It is also the song that was the inspiration and basis for this whole story. I had been on vacation, and was running about 4 – 5 miles a day. Unfortunately, I think I only had that one tape with me, so consequently I ended up listening to it a number of times. From that, what was supposed to be a _short_ story was born and eventually evolved into what is now _Another Second Chance_.

You all have hung with me for so long with this story, and you have no idea how much I appreciate all the reviews and just knowing someone is enjoying this. It is because of that I have been waiting for this scene to explain the basis for the whole story to you. It was important to me you all know that.

Now go listen to "Wounded" and tell me if you can't just hear Roger all over that song and so many other Third Eye Blind ones.


	53. 53

Chapter 53

Roger opened the door to the loft. He and Cass walked in, loaded with bags. Joellen turned around on the couch when she saw them. "Hey. Nice jacket Rog." 

"Um, thanks." His eyes went to Mark, who was getting up from the couch. "Uh, Mark? Can I talk to you?" 

"Yeah, I ah wanted to talk to you about, that ah, thing." 

"Yeah, right. That's what I meant."

Joellen rolled her eyes. "Oh… cryptic." She laughed at how weird they were acting. "I don't know, I could be totally wrong Cass, but do you think they want to talk about something, like not in front of us?" She kept laughing at both of them as they both got a little red. 

"You think?" Cass asked her, taking off Roger's old leather jacket and dropping it onto the other end of the couch. 

"So what did you get?" Joellen motioned to the bags Roger was taking into their room.

"Oh, clothes. For Roger. I love the fact that you can find a place open to shop this late at night. What time is it anyway?" 

Joellen picked up the remote and pointed it at the TV. "Eleven thirty. We were just starting a movie. You guys want to watch it? You only missed like fifteen minutes. I'll rewind it if you want." 

"I don't know. Maybe. I should check my email too. I'm so tired though. And my feet are killing me." She told her as he undid her boots and took them off. "I don't know why I'm so tired." 

"Because dragging me all over New York, forcing me to shop is exhausting." Roger teased her as he followed Mark into his office. 

The office door closed behind him as Roger looked at Mark. "Well? What did she say? Are you going?" Mark knew what Roger wanted to talk about, but he tried to blow it off with the whole band tour issue.

"Don't give me that! What the hell was that? Before? With Maureen?" He asked him in a loud whisper. 

"Nothing! Really." 

"Nothing nothing, or nothing cause I walked in nothing?" 

"Um…" Mark looked at the ground as he sat against the table. 

"Jesus Mark! What, are you doing drugs now? Have you lost your mind?" 

"Roger, keep your voice down." Mark whispered back at him. 

"Sorry." He whispered. "But I mean, Maureen? Again? Are you nuts? And what about Joellen? You realize cheating on her, especially with Maureen, especially knowing perfectly well about Joanne, makes you no better than Maureen ever was." Roger stood there, with his hands on his hips, looking down at Mark. 

"First of all, we didn't do anything." 

"Yet. Give her time." 

Mark ignored that and kept going. "Secondly, Joellen and I aren't really dating. More like hanging out a lot. We just happen to have a lot in common. Like movies and stuff." 

"Don't forget sex." Roger said bluntly. 

Mark got a small grin. "Okay, that too. But that's sort of all. We're really just friend. Who happen to have sex. It's not really a relationship." Roger just looked at him. "Well it's not like I never had anything like that before." He jerked a thumb towards the door, meaning Cass. 

"That's not the point. And what about Joanne?" Roger wasn't sure who or what he was getting so defensive over. Mark sort of acting like Maureen, or Maureen acting like Maureen, yet again. 

"Joanne and Mo are well, having issues. Me and Mo, well, we're me and Mo." He shrugged. "We're friends Roger. Like me and you." Mark was trying hard to stand his ground. 

"No! Not like me and you! I never slept with you, then cheated on you, lied to you, took advantage of you, fucked with your mind, constantly let you down and just plain broke your fucking heart! Repeatedly." 

As Roger watched the look on Mark's face form and he watched Mark's eyes slowly drop to the ground he regretted those words. All the words. Fuck Roger! You idiot! He stood there for a second, his hands shoved in his pockets, his eyes closed tight.

Still in a low whisper he spoke again. "Mark." He said slowly, opening his eyes. Mark still hadn't looked up. "Look, I'm sorry. Really. I just. I know how she is." Damn it Davis, can't you say anything right? Roger turned and sat against the table next to Mark. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant, okay yeah, I did mean it like that. I now how she is. I know what she does. And how you are, and what she does to you. And I hate the way she treated you. I'm sorry, I love Mo, now, but I hated the way she treated you like crap, and I don't trust her not to do it again."

Mark slowly raised his eyes to Roger. "How do you even remember?" He said snidely. Mark was getting mad, but he wasn't sure at who. Roger? Maureen? Himself? He and Maureen were friends. But so were he and Roger. What right did Roger have to say all that? Back then, in a lot of way, Roger and Maureen weren't all that different.

Roger knew what Mark was thinking. He always knew what Mark was thinking at this point. He also knew Mark was right. Roger looked straight ahead at the wall. "Yeah I guess I had that coming." 

"I'm sorry." Mark said, looking straight ahead as well. 

"Don't be. You're right." Roger looked down at his new boots. A slight grin crossed his face. "Well, even if I did, sort of do all that other stuff, at lest I never slept with you." 

Mark wasn't expecting that and started laughing. "That's true I guess." 

"What do you mean you guess? You were the sober one all those years!" Roger joked with him. "I was pretty certain on that one Mark, but I was kinda hoping you'd be absolute on it!" 

Mark was really laughing now. "No, I mean yes definitely, that is true. No question about it." 

"Well that's good to know." He grinned. 

They both laughed. After a minute Mark spoke again. "She's different now you know." 

"Yeah I guess." 

"We're different now too you know." 

"Yeah I know. You're right." 

"People change Roger. We changed."

"Just be careful. Okay. Please. I just don't want to see her do all that stuff all over again."

"I know. I'd rather she not do all that stuff all over again either. But like I said, right now, we're just friends." 

"Okay." Roger looked at him seriously. "Are you going to be okay if I leave for two weeks? I mean with everything?"

"She's making you go isn't she?" He grinned. "Good. I can't believe you ever considered not doing it. But I knew she would make you go. She'd never let you turn it down." 

"She's not making me. I mean, she's right, it is like the first step in what I had always said I wanted." 

"Why does that sound so past tense? I mean that is what you want, isn't it?" 

"Yeah, I guess. I mean at least it was." 

"And now?"

"Now?" Roger looked down at his boots again and then back at the door. "I'm glad I'm getting the chance to at least do it. I mean I spent so many years figuring nothing like this would ever happen. That I'd ever get much farther than playing for free beer. And getting a chance to do this meant, at least somebody other than you and our friends, thought I was good enough to maybe someday get there." 

"But?" 

Roger laughed at Mark. He realized Mark knew him as well as he knew Mark. "But I guess it's not as important as it used to be. I guess my priorities sort of changed." 

Mark grinned. "Yeah, I guess they did." 

"So are you going to be okay here? With Cass? And Maureen?" 

"I think I can handle it Roger." He laughed. "I mean I did manage to take care of your sorry ass all these years." He gave him a crooked grin. 

"Uh huh." He looked at him. "Just promise me you'll take care of her." 

Mark just looked at him. "Like I ever wouldn't?" 

"I know. It just makes me feel better leaving her if I hear you say it." 

"Of course. I'd never let anything happen to her. You do remember she was my friend and sort of girlfriend first. Like way before you ever met her." 

Roger grinned as he bumped his shoulder into Mark's. "Yeah, I remember. It's kind of funny. I always figured if one of us was ever gonna date the other's old girlfriends, it would be you dating mine, never the other way around." 

"Actually, I never figured it would happen at all." 

"Really?" He looked at him somewhat surprised. 

"Yep. Honestly, with the exception of Mimi, most of your girlfriends scared me." 

Roger laughed at him. "You're kidding." 

"Nope. Actually, thinking back on it, I think Mimi scared me a little the first few days too. You know, trying to be that super touch chick and all." He watched Roger start laughing. "And sleeping on the floor of your various band mates apartments wasn't helping. Some of those people scared me too. I was never so happy to be back in this dump as I was then." 

"What about Cass?"   


"Never before, but with the hormonal Jekel and Hyde thing, yeah, a little." He grinned at Roger, knowing he knew he was really kidding. "Sorry buddy, you date freaky, scary women." 

"First of all, Cass knows we both fear her at times lately. Secondly, all women are freaky and scary at least to some extent. But it's okay, because at times Maureen still to this day still scares the hell out of me." 

They sat there laughing for another minute both knowing everything was okay between them. "Hey." Joellen knocked on the door as she opened it. "Are you guys almost done? Are we gonna watch this movie?"   
  
"Yeah, we're coming." Mark told her, standing up from the table. They walked into the living room. Cass had changed into an ancient pair of old flannel pajamas of Mark's and an old long sleeve tee shirt of Roger's. She was sitting in the chair with a blanket over her. Mark watched her get up, let Roger sit down and then sit on his lap. "How is it, with all the shopping you've done, you're still wearing our old clothes?" 

"I don't know." She shrugged, getting settled. "I like them, they are comfy." She leaned against Roger's chest. 

"Who wants a beer?" Joellen asked, walking back into the living room carrying a six pack. She held it out for Roger, who reached up and pulled one off, as did Cass. Roger watched her, handed his back to Joellen and took the one from Cass' hands, opening it.

Mark restarted the movie, back at the beginning. He watched Cass get comfy on Roger' lap, pulling the blanket up over them both. 

Roger wrapped his arms around hr waist, still holding his beer. Under the blanket his left hand fell onto her stomach, absently rubbing it lightly. He handed her the beer, letting her have a couple of sips. She rested her head again his chest and started watching the movie. 

"Cass." Roger moved his shoulder to gently shake her awake. "Baby wake up." 

"I feel asleep." She said groggily. "What did I miss?"   


Roger smiled at her as she stood up, wrapping the blanket around herself. "Remember when they got into the car? About ten minutes into the movie?"

"Uh huh."   
  
"All you missed was everything after that." He laughed. 

"Oh." She was confused. "Did I miss the whole movie?" 

  
"Yeah Babe." He grinned. "You missed the whole movie. You want to go to bed?" He laughed as he watched her nod her head. She was so funny and cute when she was half-asleep. "Let's go to bed Baby." He led her into the bedroom, thinking again how much he was going to miss her while he was gone.


	54. 54

A/N Well I have a lot of pages typed, so hopefully I'll be able to update more often. Glad you are all still hanging with me and enjoying it. And all your reviews mean a lot. Please keep them up. And remember, if you ever need a character refresher, just let me know. There will be some new characters coming up in near future chapters, so just tell me. I don't want anyone getting confused. Thanks again.

Chapter 54

Roger sat at the bar watching Cass at her laptop while Izzy was picking out notes on his bass. He watched her type some more and then tell Izzy to do it again. He got up, walked around to the other side of the bar and poured himself another soda as Krystal walked in and sat down in front of him. 

"Hey. Want something while they finish up?"

"Yeah, give me a diet coke." He poured it and handed it to her while she watched Izzy and Cass. "Thanks Rog. Is she really making a CD of you guys through the computer?" Krystal asked looking back at him. 

"Yep! She made a whole one of my stuff the other day. It sounded as good as a regular CD. Apparently this is a little more complicated with all the mics and the amps." 

"But it will really come out as good as a studio version?" 

"Well, it won't be as clean, and it will have a live version sound, but she can control the levels and stuff, just like on a sound board. And it will come out way better than any tape recording." 

"Wow, that's pretty impressive. Only thing I ever figured I'd hear Izzy on was my answering machine." Krystal watched for a few more minutes before turning back to Roger. "She's pretty good, huh?" 

"She's like brilliant. She can do anything on a computer." 

"I can see that, but I meant overall. She's really good for you Roger. Don't fuck this up, you know?" 

"Yeah, thanks Krystal, I really didn't have any intention of doing that." 

"Few guys ever do." She laughed as Cass and Izzy joined them at the bar. 

"Okay, we're set. Nobody touch anything if you can help it." 

"Can we eat now?" Roger asked, walking around the bar and grabbing Cass, biting at her neck. "See, I'm starving." He grinned and did it again. 

"Just give me a minute to tell Dave some stuff and I'll be ready." Izzy walked back toward the storeroom to talk to Dave who was head bartender that night.

Krystal sighed and sat back down on a stool as she watched him walk away. "Sometimes I hate this bar." She saw the looked that went between Roger and Cass. "Sorry. It's just… you know," she shrugged, "I spend my weekdays dealing with fourth graders and my nights and weekends dealing with a very over grown fourth grader. Who by the way, sometimes I think loves this smelly dump and that stupid hunk of polished wood and wires more than me." 

Roger saw the confused look on Cass' face and got a small grin. "She means his bass." Cass nodded to say she understood. 

"Sorry. Needed a vent moment." 

"Don't sweat it Krystal. I'm getting used to hormonally unstable psycho women." 

"Hey!" Cass swatted at him. 

"I'm just kidding!" He hugged her from behind. "But don't ever call my guitar a stupid hunk of polished wood." 

"Okay, just don't ever suggest naming this baby Fender or anything stupid like that!" 

They all laughed at that as Izzy came back and they left for dinner. After awhile the conversation turned back to Roger's joining the band tour. 

"Izzy isn't there anyway we could go see Roger and Trey in Philly? We could take Cass?" 

"Sure Krystal, no problem. We'll go." 

"Really?" She asked shocked.

Roger looked at Cass and bit his lower lip. He had a bad feeling about where this might be going. Roger leaned back in the corner of the booth and sipped his beer. He pulled Cass in closer to him with the arm he had wrapped over her shoulder. 

"Sure, no problem. All I got to do is have my head back up bartender cover the Iguana." 

Oh crap, Roger though. Considering that was him, he knew Izzy was about to be a total jackass. 

"Oh wait, that's Roger, so that won't work now will it?" 

"Fine Izzy be a total ass! I was just asking." 

After a moment or two of awkward silence Izzy poured more beer for himself and Roger. "So are you guys moving out of that dump or what?" 

"Way to be tactful Iz." Krystal snapped at him. 

Roger laughed. "Um yeah, I guess. I mean we have to considering the lack of heat." 

"We have heat." Cass said. 

"No, we really don't." He told her, playing with her hair. "I guess we'll start looking when I get back. 

"Well," Cass was stalling, "we can just buy some space heaters." 

"We need to move Cass." 

"But I don't want to move." She told him, looking up at him. "I like it there." 

"Why?" Roger, Izzy and Krystal asked at the same time, producing laughter from all of them. 

"I don't know, I just do. Let's just not talk about it now okay?" 

"Fine. Eat your dinner." 

"I am, I'm not that hungry." 

"How do you feel Cass?" Krystal asked her, watching her pick at her food. 

"Okay." She shrugged. "It kinda comes and goes. I did get a treadmill though so I can start running again. Maybe that will help. I don't know." 

"You run?" Krystal asked. 

"Uh huh. Off and on for years. I haven't in awhile. Like the last three months. I was too busy, on deadline, in Italy the last month I was there. And then, well…" she trailed off, leaning into Roger who squeezed her. 

"Mark used to actually run with her." Roger told them, trying to get out of Italy and back to a better time for her. 

"Camera boy? Can't see it." Izzy said shaking his head. 

"Yeah well, apparently he only did it to watch her ass in spandex shorts." Roger laughed as Cass shushed him. 

"Oh yeah, speaking of Mark, when is your new doctor's appointment?" Roger asked her. 

"This Wednesday. They were able to move it up a week. She said we should still be able to hear it though." 

"Hear what?" Izzy asked pouring another beer. 

"Heartbeat." Cass told him eating one of Roger's fries. 

"Oh, that's cool. Can they tell you what it is?"

"Duh. Not from the sound of a heartbeat Izzy." Krystal told him, rolling her eyes at him.

Roger was amused at Izzy. He knew he shouldn't be, a few weeks ago he didn't know anymore about babies than Izzy. He pulled Cass close against him again, still leaning against the corner of the booth. He realized his right hand was resting on Cass' stomach again. "Anyway," Roger began, "what time is your appointment?" 

"Um," she thought for a second, "Wednesday they have late hours. It's either four or four thirty. Either way, it's enough time to go, then meet everyone for dinner and be done in time for you to play at the Iguana." 

"Cool. I gotta remember to tell Mark so he can meet us." 

Cass looked up from her plate. "Why is Mark meeting us?" She had a feeling she wasn't going to like this answer. 

"Um, I sorta told him he could come with us." Smooth Davis, he looked at Izzy who was starting to laugh. 

"Roger," Cass said slowly, "when you say 'come with us' do you mean as in come along for the ride or more like come with us, come with us?"

"Um, more like the second one." He gave her a pleading grin. 

"And when you say Mark, do you mean Mark or Mark and his camera?"

"Well… he asked and what was I supposed to say? You know how excited he gets. Especially when he's got an idea for a film. I think he wants to make you a star." 

"Roger!" She sat up and looked at him. "Like he doesn't point that stupid thing at me enough!"

  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll talk to him, I promise." 

Izzy and Krystal were laughing at them again. "Oh I can see it now." Izzy laughed. "Delivery room footage, up close and personal." 

"Roger!" Cass whacked him in the chest as if he had said it. 

"Ow! Okay, okay, I'll talk to him!" He laughed at her. "Nothing up close and personal, I promise." 

**********

Mark walked along the sidewalk, following Roger and Cass in the viewfinder of his camera. After all the years, he had gotten very good at walking and filming at the same time. He filmed them talking as they walked along towards the Life Café to meet everyone for dinner. Watching them he realized, since Roger announced he was going away for two weeks, barely a moment had passed when they were together that Roger didn't have his hands on her. Almost as if he was afraid he'd forget what she felt like while he was gone. 

The walked on, Roger's arm around her waist. Cass had on his old leather jacket, her arms crossed in front of her, blocking out the slight wind coming down the street. Roger looked back at Mark, realizing he had fallen more than ten feet behind them. "Mark turn that damn thing off! Geeze! You bitch you get left out of stuff, well what do you expect when you're a block away?" 

"Sorry." He flipped off the camera and caught up with them, walking next to Cass as she took his hand. 

"Well Joanne was supposed to be back by now." Cass told them.

"That's good." Roger said giving Mark a look over Cass' head. 

"Uh huh." Was all Mark said. He and Maureen had sort of kept their distance in the last week and a half since that day in his office. They have still talked on the phone, but Mark decided he didn't want to be alone with her if he could help it right now. Not till both of them worked through some stuff in their own brains. He didn't think he completely trusted himself alone with Maureen. Not right now. He knew he didn't trust Maureen alone with him. 

Roger was right, give her time and she gets what she wants. Mark knew both of them well enough to know that could be bad. He knew how her mind worked. If things were not going well with Joanne, bad enough that Maureen needed someone to treat her with the praise and respect she so often felt she deserved, she'd come to Mark. He used to call her a goddess and she ate that up. She loved it. Pretty much anytime she was looking for a little adoration, she always went to him back then. The scary thing was he realized back then he meant what he told her. Even after all this time, he didn't know if he could turn her away. 

Cass hesitated for a moment before going on about Joanne. She needed to talk to them about what she had going, and what she had planned, but she was afraid they would freak out. She had to tell them. They were involved in it whether they liked it or not. 

However the timing on this was tricky. She had to wait on Joanne and Allison. And then there was Roger's leaving. That was going to make it a little difficult too. Cass didn't want them thinking she was keeping stuff from them, but she was afraid they wouldn't understand about the confidentiality issues, as well as some of the other aspects in a business deal. 

And that was what it was, a business deal. It wasn't personal. Mark would be able to accept that, given a minute or two. Roger however, he would see it as personal. Cass was afraid he'd see it that way and not be able to get past it. Worst would be that he would see it as her using her money to settle his scores. Fight his battles. Cass didn't see Roger accepting that real well. She would just have to convince him otherwise. 

"Remember how I told you I was starting a side business? Pick up some work outside of Andre?" She asked hesitantly. 

"Uh huh, but if you do that, does that mean you're going to have to work more thane you already do?" Roger asked her. He thought she was already in front of the computer way too much. Add that to the way she gets mad at the computer too. None of that seemed like it could be good for her.

"No actually it should cut back on some of it. I'm slowly letting go of some of the smaller stuff I do for Andre. And this side company is more for investment and tax type purposes anyway." 

"Good, you spend too much time in front of that thing."

"Well it's not all work. Sometimes I'm just playing around on it or something." She tried to explain. Cass knew he thought she worked too much on the computer. "Anyway Joanne emailed me and said she had everything set up. I need to get all the papers signed. I also need to take care of some investment stuff, shift a little money around." 

"So you have to go back to her office? When?" Mark asked. 

"Um, she said either tomorrow or Friday morning we could come in and sign everything." She slid that we part in. 

"Okay, I'll take you down there tomorrow." Roger told her. 

"Ah, okay. Marky are you coming with us? Yes?" Please say yes.

"I don't know, I'll have to see. Depends on what time you go." 

"Oh." She sighed. This was going to be hard. She could feel it. God, I'm too tired for this she thought. 

"You okay Baby?' Roger asked her, hearing her sigh.

"Yes. I'm just so tired is all." She sighed again. 

Roger gave her his famous mischievous grin. "Poor Baby!" He grabbed her, scooping her up in his arms. 

"Roger! Put me down!" She laughed at him. 

"But I don't want you all worn out before tonight." He told her as she put her arms around his neck. 

"Please! By the time you get home, I will have been asleep for a couple of hours!" 

"Actually," he laughed at her as he kissed at her neck. "I meant to come back to the Iguana tonight to hear me play awhile, but now that you mention when I get home…" he trailed off starting to kiss her. "I mean it's not like you wouldn't have had a nap by then." He kissed down her neck.

Mark rolled his eyes at them. "Oh for God sake, get a room!" 

"I'm working on it." Roger grinned, still kissing her. "I'm working on it." 

**********  


"That fuck!" Maureen declared, slamming the letter Leslie just handed her to read down on the table. "I'm sure he enjoyed deliver those too. The bastard. I wish Roger had been there when he did!" 

"Let's just be grateful he wasn't or this whole thing would be worse." Collins said, setting down his coffee. "We don't even know what it means. Wait till Joanne gets here and let her read it." 

"She should be on her way." Maureen looked at her watch. "And where the hell is Mark? Maybe he knows something. I mean he's the damn building manager." 

"God Maureen," Jason looked at her, pouring himself a beer. "You don't even live there anymore. What are you getting so up tight about." 

"Because Benny's a total ass!" 

"Here comes Jen and Joanne now." Jason said pointing at the door. "Hey sis. How you doing sweetie?" 

"Other than it sounds like I may be homeless soon." Jen dropped into the chair. "Oh and work sucked. Pour me a beer. Where's Mark? What did he say?"   
  
"Nothing, we can't find them." Leslie said.

"Hey Pookie." Maureen pulled Joanne down next to her.

Joanne gave Maureen a kiss as she sat down. "I talked to Cass this morning. She had a late doctor's appointment. They should be coming here directly from that."

She looked around at the group of friends. "You guys all need to relax. No one's going to be homeless. Benny's just trying to show off. Besides, new owners are better than Benny, right?" She was trying to sound optimistic, without giving away vital information. 

"But this says it's a company. Why would a company want that dump unless they want to knock it down or something." Jen whined. "God I don't want to deal with moving. Mark didn't say anything?" 

"I'm sure he didn't know anything." Collins told them.

"Yeah," Jason laughed, "otherwise he would have called Joanne to meet him at the hearing." 

"What hearing?" Jen looked at him. 

"Roger's bail hearing for beating the crap out of Benny." He laughed and everyone joined in knowing it was true. "There they are." He told them looking up and seeing Roger and Mark, Roger still carrying Cass. He put her down outside the door and they walked in. 

"Hey!" Cass said with a huge grin on her face as she sat down in the booth, dragging Roger behind her. "Hey Joanne. How was Washington? Are you back for a while now I hope?"

"Washington was fine. And for at least two weeks. What did the doctor say? Did you hear it?" Joanne was trying hard to skip past the Benny issue.

"Mark what the hell is going on?" Jen demanded.

So much for that Joanne thought. "Benny, uh, delivered some letters to the building today apparently." She began to explain, more to Cass then Mark or Roger. 

"Really?" Mark looked up. 

The grin on Roger's face instantly turned into a scowl as he leaned forward, his arm going protectively around Cass. "Letters saying what?" 

  
"Well, all the letter says is the building has had an offer made on it and it is seriously being considered by the current owners." Joanne explained. 

"And all that jackass said when he saw Leslie was he was making a chunk off selling that dump and how none of you knew how good you had it with him as a landlord." Maureen told them all bluntly. 

Oh shit! Cass thought. They are all taking this personal she could tell already. Business is not personal. She knew she would never be able to really convince them of that. She didn't even believe it completely. Benny would make it personal.

"I didn't believe he could, ah, do anything like that Joanne?" Cass shot her a look. 

"Well he is supposed notify the building of things like the sale. However, implying what he did is somewhat outside the area of good business practice. Especially if there is any type of confidentiality." 

"Damn him." Roger said, picking up a beer glass. "Well now we are definitely moving, but I say we beat the crap out of him first, just for fun." 

"We're not moving." Cass said, still looking at Joanne. "If he violates a confidentiality agreement, isn't there something we, I mean whomever, can do about that?" 

"Well I suppose they could contact the managing partner of the property as well as any uh, silent partners."

Collins sat back in his seat and looked around. Jen, Maureen, Leslie, Jason and Roger were grumbling and sulking to each other. Mark was watching and listening to all of them, as well as Cass and Joanne. Cass and Joanne however seemed to be having a somewhat different, somewhat obscure conversation. Collins had a feeling they knew more than they were letting on. 

Mark looked around the table taking in what everyone was saying. Everyone but Collins, who was sitting there silently listening to Joanne and Cass. Mark started paying more attention to the two of them. After a minute or two he knew something was up. 

"What's going on?' He asked firmly. Everyone else looked up surprised at the tone of his voice. 

"Duh Mark? Benny's being an ass, yet again. Welcome back to reality." Maureen told him.

"What's going on Cass?" He asked again. "Joanne?"

"Um, Mark we're just, you know talking." Joanne started to babble. 

"Cass?" He said firm enough to grab Roger's attention and he started watching her as well. 

"Um, nothing Mark." Her eyes at the table. 

"Cass?' He said again, looking to Roger for back up. 

"What's going on Babe?" Roger asked her. 

"Um, well, nothing, really." Cass looked to Joanne for help. 

"It was a buyer instigated confidentiality agreement." Joanne said to Cass. "Which has been broken by the seller."   
  
"But what about the other part? We don't even have papers yet?" Cass went back to Joanne, the two of them speaking again as if they were the only ones there. 

"I know I'm thinking. Look even if we had the papers you need the signature of all partners, no matter how minor to sign on the closing. They are willing to move it all up, which I think is a good thing, but him being gone may make that difficult." 

"Well," Cass thought, "What about Friday? Is that enough time? I know it's quick, but she wants out, he doesn't count for squat in this, plus he broke the confidentiality clause. Can't we use that as leverage?" 

"Maybe. But are you sure you want to use leverage? I thought you were friends." 

"This is business, not personal. She'll get that. Probably a whole lot better than some other people." 

"What the hell is going on?" Roger broke the silence of everyone else at the table. 

Cass just looked at him for a second. "Just let us figure this out. We'll explain. I promise."

Roger wasn't thrilled, and was definitely confused, but he decided he would wait. She'll tell him. And he was definitely getting curious.

"Okay. I can get that part together, but we still need to set up the partnership agreement." Joanne told her. 

"What about temporary status, until we can file full term papers? It's only this one thing and it' more name then practice."

"Okay." Joanne opened up her briefcase and pulled out a yellow legal pad and started writing. "How about a deposit on investment?"

"What are you two doing?" Mark asked again. He had been following the conversation from almost the beginning and succeeded at only becoming more confused. 

"Something I should have done years ago." Cass told Mark before turning back to Joanne. "How much?"

Joanne thought for a moment. "Ten percent for good faith. Say $100. Each." 

"Cass…" Roger started. 

"How much money do you have?" She asked him. 

"What?"

"Roger how much money do you have? Mark too?" 

"I don't know." He was definitely confused.   
  
"Look. Please. Mark?" She was almost pleading. 

Mark pulled out his wallet, as did Roger. "I've got seventeen dollars." Mark said. 

"I've got forty – eight dollars now what's going on?"

  
Joanne looked up at Maureen. "Give them all your money. You guys too." She told Collins and Jason. "They need two hundred dollars." Maureen stared to say something but closed her mouth. Collins and Jason silently did as they were told.

After a minute or two, and the emptying of a few wallets with the exception of Cass and Joanne there was a pile of two hundred dollars on the table. Everyone was staring at Cass and Joanne, waiting. 

"Now what the hell is going on?" Roger was really starting to get pissed. Not really at her, but at not knowing what was going on. 

Cass looked at Joanne, who ripped two sheets off the legal pad and handed them to her. "Well, um… okay. Just remember business is business, it is never personal." She gave both Mark and Roger a pleading look. 

"Just tell us what's going on." Mark said. 

"Okay, well remember what I said about starting a side company? For investments and tax stuff? And how I was looking into investment properties, for tax reasons? Well, I found one. An investment property." 

"Uh huh." Roger said hesitantly, never taking his eyes off of her. 

"But to get this investment property, it's easier with a company name, for tax and zoning reasons. And a company is easier with partners." 

"Cass…"

"Just tell them." Joanne told her. 

"Okay," she hesitated and in one breath spit it all out. "So to make the company I made you two secondary partners with a thousand-dollar investment, because I found an investment property, this property. The building." She bit her lip as she finished and waited for the flashback she knew was coming. 

"What?" Mark almost yelled with surprise. 

"You fucking bought that bastard's building from him!" Roger did yell as he tried to get up, but was blocked in by Mark who wasn't moving. 

"Roger sit down and be quite." Mark told him, surprised not only at his own voice but the fact that Roger sat down and shut up. 

"You don't understand! I needed to buy something! And this has nothing to do with anything else." She was getting upset. 

"I can't believe you're giving that bastard money!" Roger almost spit the words out. 

"Roger I don't want to have this conversation here, now, like this!" 

"Fine then let's go home and have it!" 

"Fine!" 

Roger looked at Mark. "Well get the fuck up, we're going home." 

"Roger." 

"Mark!"

Mark sighed and got up. The three of them walked out the door. Jason looked at Joanne. "What the hell was that?" 

  



	55. 55

Chapter 55

Roger flung open the loft door and walked through followed by Cass and Mark. He flung down his keys on the counter and spun around to face Cass. "What the hell are you doing?" 

"Investing my money." 

"You could have done that anywhere." 

"I wanted to do it here." 

"Why?" 

"Because it's a good investment." 

"Bull shit! Because it's Benny's!"

"Roger!" Mark finally jumped in. 

He couldn't help himself he knew she didn't even know Benny. He knew Cass had nothing to do with Benny. He knew she loved him, but he couldn't help but get jealous and angry over the whole thing. 

Cass felt like he slapped her with those words. She just looked at him for a second, her lip trembling. Suddenly she couldn't take it anymore she bolted from the room, slamming the bedroom door and throwing herself on their bed. 

Roger just stood there, staring at his new boots she had just bought him, hating himself. 

Mark stared at the bedroom door even after it slammed. He finally looked at Roger. "You're a fucking ass Roger! You know that?" 

"Yeah I know." He told him, barely audible, still looking at his boots. Why are you such an ass Davis? You know she doesn't want anything to do with him. Why the hell are you always so damn jealous? Why can't you control it? 

Slowly he walked to the bedroom and opened the door. He heard her crying softly in the dark into a pillow. Since she'd gotten there, he'd heard her cry a number of times. Each time it broke his heart, but none as badly as this time. This time, he had caused it. "Cass? Baby, can I come in?" He sat on the edge of the bed in the dark. 

"It's your room, you can do what you want." 

He clenched his jaw. That really hurt. He laid back on the bed next to her. "No, it's our room." He paused. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that before. About Benny." 

Still facing away from him she spoke. "No you shouldn't have. Roger do you trust me or not?" 

"Baby I love you." 

"Love and trust are two different things Roger." 

"I love you and I trust you. Really. I just, I get so upset at the thought of you and him having anything to do with each other." 

"His only involvement in this is a signature. It's really Allison's building. Remember?" She sobbed. 

"Yeah, I know. I just…" he put his hand on her arm, gently turning her to face him. "But why here?" 

"Why not?" She wiped the tears off her face. "Roger I'm tired of living in hotels and little places on location. I haven't been 'home' in forever, and I'm never going back anyway. Besides, all it was was a bunch of rooms that had a bunch of people living in it who would buy and sell you for their own purposes. Don't you know how different this place is?" 

"Baby, this place is a dump." 

"It's a good investment." 

"There's no heat." 

"We can put heat in." 

"There's hardly any hot water." 

"We'll get a bigger hot water tank." 

He looked at her for a second before he spoke. "We aren't getting anything. You are. You're paying for it all. Again. Remember?" He was getting defensive again. 

Cass thought for a moment. "Roger," she sat up, "what's your real problem. That it's my money? Or that it's Benny's building?" 

"Well," he looked down at her. "Both I guess. I mean you're always buying me stuff. I hate that. I'll never be able to get you anything." 

She moved closer to him and put her hand on his. "Roger I don't want anything. Can't you understand that? I don't want you to buy me stuff. I don't need you to buy me stuff. I just need you to be here with me. That's one of the reasons why I was getting this place."

"What do you mean?" He laid back on the bed, looking at the ceiling. 

"What I mean is, I don't know." She laid back next to him and sighed. "I mean it never really mattered to me before, but now, with the baby, having a place to go home to is a lot more appealing. Especially if you are there. And Mark." 

"But Baby…"

"No. Just listen. I never really thought about I until you got all upset, worrying about where we were going to live and heat and the baby. That's when I knew we had to buy this place." 

"Because I'd never be able to afford anything better than this place!" 

  
"No! Roger who cares where the money comes from! That was one of the reasons why I was making you and Mark partners. So it wouldn't matter about the money." 

He heard her start to cry again. "Please don't cry Baby. I don't want to fight with you. I hate fighting like this. Especially with you. You're the first girl I've ever been involved with that I don't constantly fight with and drive to tears. Plus I gotta leave for the Iguana soon. And the last thing I want is you mad at me while I'm gone. Tonight or for the two weeks." 

"I'm not mad." She stared at the ceiling. "I'm just… I don't know, I'm exhausted. It's funny, I mean I figured you'd get a little excited when I told you all this, and you weren't supposed to find out like this by the way. I actually thought you'd get a kick out of it all in the end. When Benny found out and all." 

Roger rolled onto his side to look at her, running his fingers up and down her arm. "What do you mean when Benny finds out?" 

"Well he doesn't know. That's probably why he sent out those stupid letters. To try and stick it to you. I mean he's got no idea CDS is us." 

"Wait, how can he not know? And what's CDS?"

"He doesn't know, because Allison decided he shouldn't. She's tired of his crap and what he tends to pull, especially with you guys. And she was more than happy to talk about selling this place. I did some research on the zoning laws for here. Allison knew some too. You were right about renovating and owner occupation. Allison said so too. She also said how there was no way in hell she'd ever live here." 

"But how can Benny not know?" 

"Because Allison has controlling interest in this place. All he knows is some company called CDS wants to buy the building. I mean I thought you'd love walking into the closing and him looking up and seeing you guys there. Benny sitting there thinking you guys are about to become homeless, when actually you're in on a great business deal." She laughed. 

"But what's CDS?" Roger wasn't angry anymore, now just confused. 

"Us. Cohen, Davis and Sullivan. I did it alphabetically. It's just a company name you know? For investment reasons." 

"So that's what we needed the $200 for?" 

"Uh huh. As a down payment on your thousand dollar investment into the company. Legally it offers you guys more protection that way."   
  
"I'm sorry Baby. I never should have got upset at you. It was never you I was mad at I guess."

"So are you okay with all of this?" 

  
"Yes. Well no, not completely. But give me some time. I'll get used to it I guess." 

"You know I only did it for all of us. For a little security. And in the end it's a damn good investment." 

Roger started to laugh a little as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "Baby I love you, you know that right? And I may not know anything about big business, but buying this place isn't anything more than a good way to get back at Benny." 

"It's a good investment Roger." 

"It's a dump." He laughed. 

"Not when it's renovated. And everything is brought up to code. The whole building." 

"If it's so great then why didn't Benny just due it himself?" 

"Well, there's the whole living here issue. Plus, it's going to cost a good chunk of money to bring the building up to code. Money Allison didn't want to give him."

"So you want to go through all that, fix the building, put heat in up here, all of it and then live here. The three of us and a baby. You realize if you shop for a baby like you do for you me and Mark, we're going to run out of room." He laughed at her, watching her grin.

"There will be plenty of room."

"Uh huh. We don't even have a closet in here. You gonna put the baby in that hot little room." He jerked his thumb toward Mark's old office. "At least then it'll have a closet." He grinned at her.

"No silly. I sort of have it all figured out. The baby's going to go in here." 

"In here?" He sat up on the bed. "Cass you and me barely fit in here, let alone with a baby." 

"No Roger, we'll make this the baby's room."

"Great, then where are we sleeping? In the hot little room with the closet, but only one window? That will be fun."

She sighed as she shook her head. If he would let her finish he might understand. "No. The baby can go in here. And we'll take the wall down between this room and the other little one. That way it will have a total of three windows."

"And were are we sleeping?" 

"In Mark's room." 

Just then the bedroom door came opened the rest of the way as Mark, flipping around from where he was sitting outside on the floor, sort of fell into the bedroom. "My room?" He got all high and squeaky as he said it. "If you two are sleeping in my room, where am I supposed to sleep?" Mark crawled over and sat on the floor by the bed looking up at them, starting to laugh at him. 

"What are you doing? Sitting outside on the floor listening?" Roger asked him, starting to laugh. 

"Um," Mark looked down and realized how strange and sudden his entrance must have looked. "Okay yes. But where am I supposed to sleep?"

"Why?" Roger asked him, confused. 

"Because knowing where I'm sleeping is one of those little facts I enjoy knowing." 

"No dork! Why were you sitting out there listening?' Roger wasn't sure at this point if he should be amused,confused or pissed.

"Well," Mark felt his face getting red and was grateful for the light being off in the room. He looked down at the floor, and even in the darkness he could feel Roger staring at him, waiting on an answer. "Well okay, any other time I can hear everything in here. And believe me, I could live without that. But the one time something is actually going on in here that does involve me, I got to sit outside to hear what's up."

At that Cass and Roger both broke into hysterics. "Don't laugh at me!" Mark yelled at them. He was getting pissed, as he still didn't have an answer. "Just tell me. If you're putting the baby in here, and taking out the wall. And you two are moving into my room, where are you sending me?" 

"Honestly," Roger said through his laughter, "I don't know what she's doing with you." 

"Both of you just relax." She shook her head at them. "The baby goes in here. We go where Mark's room is now. Mark, his office and his bathroom go in the corner, across the hall." 

"Across the hall?" Roger asked suddenly not laughing. 

"Oh, so I don't get to live here anymore. Great." 

"Oh good lord. Shut up, both of you and listen. From the beginning. You two are secondary partners in our company CDS. You are going to take one thousand dollars each from the fifteen thousand you got from my uncle and give it to me to invest in that company. Then CDS is going to purchase this building as an investment because it has good resale value. But we have to renovate both the legal apartments and the fourth floor. This floor. When we do that, the entire fourth floor, both this side we are currently in, as well as the other side that is currently a vacant open area, will become one big open area loft apartment. Thereby doubling our space, tripling our bathrooms, creating heat and hot water. Not to mention, moving Mark to the opposite side of the place and putting insulation into the walls so he can't hear absolutely everything that goes on!" She brought her hand up to her face, covering her eyes and shaking her head. 

*********

Cass rolled over in bed again. She realized she wasn't going to fall back asleep. No time soon at least. Not while she was still alone. She was glad the whole mess about the building was out in the open. They had all, including herself, made too big a deal about it. She should have just told them what she was thinking from the beginning. She should have just bought the stupid building a few years ago, when she had first thought about it. When Mark first told her about all the trouble they had been having with Benny. 

Fool. Why hadn't you done that then? Think Cass. He told you, you thought about it. Actually did some research on it. But what happened? Why did you stop? It was winter. She remembered that. She had been in France then too. France. Winter. Hospital? That was it. She had ended up back at the hospital. For a concussion or something. 

She pushed the thoughts out of her head. She didn't want to think about that stuff. Didn't want to remember. She was here now, with Roger. And Mark. She didn't have to worry about drugs, or Anton, or her uncle or any of it. Life was good now. Simple and good. They were all happy together. And she and Roger were going to have a baby. 

Well, okay, not exactly she and Roger, but as far as the world was concerned it was going to be Roger's. As far as she was concerned it was Roger's. 

God how could they have been fighting like that before? Cassiopeia what is wrong with you lately? Other than the obvious pregnant thing I guess. Oh you are an emotional, bitchy mess sometimes lately. 

And Roger's birthday was only the day after tomorrow. It upset her somewhat that he told her not to get him anything for his birthday. True she had just gotten him a new jacket, boots, jeans, pants and some shirts, but she considered it more of a congratulations you'll need them on your trip gifts. Not birthday gifts. But if that's what he wanted, she would do it. 

She realized again how much she really did love him and how special he really was. God this hormone thing is going to drive me crazy she thought. How can you be so happy about loving a person, so upset about fighting with them, so excited they're getting such a great opportunity and yet so depressively sad they are leaving all at the exact same time? Have I always been like this? She couldn't even answer herself at the moment. 

She flipped over in the bed, trying to get comfortable. Her back hurt and rolling over just made her realize how she better appreciate being able to do that now, because she won't be able to soon enough probably. 

The bed was lonely and cold without Roger in it she realized. It was amazing to her how much she had grown to depend on him in the mere two months she had been here. Cass was thrilled for him that he was getting the chance to go on tour with that band. The only thing she wanted more than him was for him to be happy. 

He did seem happy about going, and he should be. But he also seemed hesitant. God she was going to miss him while he was gone. She started to feel guilty about being here, alone in the empty cold bed. Roger had been so excited earlier today. So had Mark. Even though she had said she wasn't crazy about Mark's camera being right there with them, she knew it was a lost cause. She realized Roger, Mark and his camera, were going to be a package deal.

It amazed her and thrilled her how Roger was so excited about a baby that, biologically, wasn't even his. But none of that mattered to him. And his enthusiasm was only fueled more by how excited Mark was getting too.

Laying there thinking about it Cass had to laugh at the look on the nurses face when they took her into the back, followed by Roger, Mark and his camera, filming all the way. Mark seemed to have started a whole new documentary on having babies it seemed sometimes. And Roger, she smiled to herself. When that girl put the Doppler microphone up to her belly and they heard the thump bump, thump bump, thump bump sound of it's heartbeat, the look on his face was the most incredible thing. She had seen it a few times before to some extent. That intense look as he worked though a piece on a song. Worked through it and was actually happy with it as opposed to saying it was crap like he thought the other 99% of everything he wrote was. It was the same look he got as he studied something he thought sounded the way true music should. It was like it was the most amazing thing he had ever heard.

The guilt about being here alone returned again. He had so wanted her there watching him tonight. And then they had that stupid fight. And by the time it was all over, even though they were fine, she was just too emotionally and physically exhausted to go back to the bar. Thinking back to how he was as he left, he was disappointed, but trying hard to hide it. 

She was awake now though. She must have slept for over two hours after Roger left, and Mark went down to Jen's undoubtedly to fill them in on the building situation. The clock said 11:30. If she got up now she could be there for most of his last set.

Roger had really wanted her there tonight, and she really had wanted to be there with him. She could ask Mark to take her. He would, she knew that. But then poor Mark would be stuck with the two of them, all over each other. 

Cass knew that Mark had always felt like a third wheel around all Roger's girlfriends. Especially Mimi and April. They had talked about it often over the years, and since she became involved with Roger. Cass knew Roger and Mark had talked about it too. Roger said Mark seemed a lot more comfortable around him and Cass then he ever did around Roger and anyone else. And that was before Mark and Joellen had even started seeing each other really. 

No, she didn't want to make Mark take her. But how else could she get there? By herself? She still hadn't gone anywhere by herself. She had gone out with a number of people beyond Mark and Roger, but not by herself. Except that day in the park, with the dog. But that was different. It was daylight and she had a dog with her. And Roger was only going to be gone a few minutes. 

You're a fool Cass she thought chewing on her lip. Two and a half days from now that boy is getting on a train and you won't see him for two whole weeks. Stop being a baby, get up and go. She sat up on the edge of the bed, willing herself to move. 

Well, if you sit here long enough, he'll eventually come to you. But if you do this, it would probably thrill him beyond belief. She took a deep breath and stood up. Throwing her jeans and a top back on, she called a cab as she wrote Mark a note. She took her phone and pulled on Roger's old leather jacket, picking up the keys Mark had given her weeks ago. 

When the cab pulled up in front of the building she just stood inside a second, looking at it on the street through the small window to the side of the door. You could chicken out the voice inside her head told her. Go back upstairs, throw out the note and wait in bed for him to come home. No one would even know. She took a step back towards the steps, about to do just that, when the look on Roger's face crossed her mind. It was his expression when they first heard that fast pounding little heart beat. Before she had a chance to talk herself out of it, she pushed open the door and hopped into the cab, giving the driver the Iguana's address. 

When she got inside the bar, she was almost as excited as she thought he would be when he found out she came on her own. She heard him immediately. The place was still pretty full so she was fairly sure he wouldn't see her right away. 

Dave saw her walking over to the bar and set a drink down before she even sat down. "He said you weren't coming in tonight." 

"He didn't know I was." She beamed. 

"Well good, I'm glad you're here. He's been in a weird mood all night. Almost like he's trying to not be grumpy, but it's not quite working." Dave laughed. "You want anything else?" He asked dropping two cherries on a toothpick into her soda. 

"Actually, I'm kinda hungry." 

"All I've got is pretzels, unless you want to go in the back an check Izzy's personal stash." 

"Nope, pretzels will do fine." She picked up her glass and took a sip. "You know, I never used to even drink ginger ale, and know it's like my new best friend. You guys and the Life Café just bring me one as soon as you see me now!" She laughed. 

"You just missed Krystal. She had some fun giving the barely legals up by the front a hard time. They've been ga-ga over the entire band all night. After making me check multiple forms of ID on each on them, right before they guys took a break, she managed to let them all know Izzy, Roger and John the drummer were all seriously involved." 

Cass laughed. "How did she do that?"

"You don't want to know." Dave laughed as he got her a bowl of pretzels and went back to work. 

Cass sat in the far corner watching him. He was amazing. She knew they were almost halfway through the set by now. Cass got a piece of paper and a pen, wrote her phone number down on it with the words "just in case you're lonely later!" And gave it to Tina.

Tina waited until they finished their song, then went up to the stage, taking them more drinks. "Hey Rog, one of your many groupies asked me to give you this." 

Cass saw Tina hand him the note. He looked at it and was about to toss it, when he stopped and started to study it again. Cass started laughing. She knew immediately what was going on. Roger recognized the number, but didn't know who it belonged to. He rarely called Cass' cell phone, and her number was already programmed in his so he never had to actually dial it. It took a second but he figured it out, she could tell by the grin on his face as his eyes scanned the bar looking for her. He found her and his grin grew. They started up again and the whole time they played Roger had a stupid grin on his face. 

When the last set ended, Roger practically bolted off the stage and over to where she was sitting at the bar. "Hey Baby!" He told her as he grabbed her and kissed her. "I thought you were sleeping." 

"I was." She smiled at him as she intertwined their fingers. "But I woke up and I was cold, and lonely and I missed you." 

"We can fix all of that." His grin went from simply happy to mischievous as his eyebrows went up. 

"Plus I felt bad about before."

"Don't worry about that. That wasn't your fault, it was mine. I was acting like a dumbass." He started kissing her fingers as Izzy walked up. 

"Well that explains why you suddenly started playing better!" Izzy joked at Roger as he walked behind the bar. "How you doing Cass? Oh hey, I got to tell you again what a great job you did on those CD's. Everybody is loving it." He looked back at Roger. "Make sure you give a copy to Trey when you get to Philly on Saturday. He wants to hear us. Probably to laugh at us, but still." 

Roger wasn't even really listening to Izzy he was too busy concentrating on Cass. "Yeah whatever. So where's Mark at, I didn't see him." 

"Probably asleep in bed." She said coyly. 

"Really?" He was surprised. "Then who brought you down here?" Roger looked around for any of their friends. 

"A cab brought me. I came by myself." She beamed. 

"You did? Really?" Roger hugged her and kissed her again, running his hand up and down her back. "Baby that great! You okay with that? I can't believe you did that!" 

"I'm fine. I just woke up and I missed you. And I felt bad because I knew you really wanted me to come hear you, at least for awhile tonight." She looked into his amazing green eyes. "So I made myself do it." 

"I can't believe you came down here, this late on your own. Just to hear me play." 

"Well you wanted me too. And like I said, I missed you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you for two whole weeks." Her arms were around his neck now as she played with his hair they had just re-bleached the other day.

"I know. It's going to be hard. We'll have to make the best of it before I go." He pouted at her. 

"Well," Cass leaned in close to him. "We still have tonight and tomorrow and of course your birthday." 

"Yeah we do don't we?" 

"Uh huh." She moved so her lips were brushing his ear as she spoke. "And I did have a nap before." She slowly ran her tongue along his ear. 

Roger leaned back, pulled her off the stool and looked at Izzy as he started towards the door. "By Iz, we're out of here!" 

Izzy grinned. "Hey Casanova? You might want to remember your guitar, you might need that while you're gone the next two weeks." 

Roger stopped, just before the door. "Oh, right. Be right back." He told her as he sat her at a table and went to get his stuff. As he walked past Izzy, who was laughing at him he just gave him a look. "Oh shut up Iz!"


	56. 56

A/N So??? Everyone that said they were going to go check out the lyrics to the Third Eye Blind song _Wounded_ what did you think? Couldn't you just hear Roger all over that? Actually I think you can hear him in a lot of their songs. Except for _Ten Days Late. _ In that all I can see is Mark and Maureen.

Anyway, here's the next chapter. Glad everyone is still enjoying it. And as always thank you all so much for leaving reviews. They are very inspirational to keep me typing!

Chapter 56

Cass knew before she even opened her eyes that the headache she fought all day yesterday was still there and not going away anytime soon. Roger's watch had started beeping signaling ten AM. The only move he made was to shove his head further under the pillow and roll closer to her. 

She reached over and turned off his watch, pulling the pillow off his head. She ran her fingers down his bare chest and leaned over him kissing his neck, up to his ear. "Happy… birthday…. to Roger…"

His eyes opened and he grinned up at her, rubbing his rough callous fingers down her back and resting them on her ass. He started to kiss her back, softly sucking on her skin. "Happy… birthday… to me!" He grinned, rolling her over on her back. 

"It's cold in here." Cass told him pulling the blanket up around them. 

"I'll warm you up Baby." He gave her a mischievous grin as his hands went up and down her body, still naked from the night before.

"Roger we don't have that much time." She laughed. "We need to meet Joanne." 

"Real quick… I promise." His lips moved own her neck onto her chest.

"But Baby we need to get up." 

"I'm up, believe me, I'm up." He said evilly as he started to tease her. 

"Roger you," the words caught in her throat for a second. "You shouldn't start something you can't finish right now." 

"Oh I can finish it, believe me." 

"Baby we need to go shopping. We used the last on up last night." 

That paused him for a second as he kissed her belly button. "I'll get one from Mark." He told her as his kisses started to work their way back up to her mouth. 

That was the last thing she wanted. She never really cared before, but taking into consideration her history with Mark, it bothered her some now that she knew that Mark could hear them to begin with. Roger borrowing condoms from him was like sending out engraved announcements that they were about to have sex. 

This wasn't where she meant to end up when she woke him this morning. They did have to get up so they could get to Joanne's office. She also had a feeling, considering her head still throbbed, she was glad to have built some time into their schedule. It may take her awhile to get moving this morning. At least moving without puking or feeling like she was going to pass out. That was how she felt yesterday, but she didn't tell either Mark or Roger that. 

"Roger…" God she wanted him, but now was not the time. She wanted to make it to the closing, then they could come back here. 

"But it's my birthday Baby." He pouted at her. 

She only had one ace she could play. She decided she may have to before this went any farther. "I know it's your birthday." She ran her fingers through his hair, pulling his face up to her's. "But wouldn't you rather do it on your birthday in your building. If we go now, we can stop at the store, pick up some food and uh, other necessary supplies, and spend the rest of your birthday here in bed. At least until your friends come in here and drag your incredibly sexy, hot naked butt out of here." 

"We can still do all that." He grinned softly kissing her throat, still running his hand up and down her body. "That actually… sounds like… a really … good plan. Except for the naked butt dragging part." He laughed before returning to kissing her face. "Especially the rest of my birthday in bed part." 

"Okay if that's what you want." She laughed softly, wrapping her arms around his back, pulling herself closer to him. "But you know Mark's going to want to hang out with you today. Now I don't have a problem with that, but then again I've slept with him before." 

She heard him groan a little and smiled. Not that Roger minded that she and Mark used to have sex, she just knew Roger didn't want to be reminded of it while they were about to have sex. It slowed him down, but didn't deter him. 

She kept going. "Okay Baby, you want to make us late, that's fine. But you are the one who will have to explain why we're late to Joanne and Allison. And of course Benny, he'll be there too." She could tell instantly that worked. 

Roger rolled onto his back and groaned again. "Well if you were looking to kill the mood, which I know you were, that really worked. Bad enough you bring up Mark images, which, so you know, I can so live without. But please don't ever bring up that bastard's name, especially when, you know."

"I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have." She started to stand up. But we really need to," the throbbing in her head got suddenly worse and she got lots of big black splotches in front of her eyes. The dizziness set her right back down onto the bed. "To get moving." Her hands covering her face.

"Baby are you okay" 

"I'm fine." She told him, still covering her eyes with her hands. 

"Liar. Look at me." He pulled her hands down. "Are you okay?" 

"Yes. I'm fine. When I'm lying down at least. So see, we go, we sign, we come back here and get back in bed." 

"Are you going to be able to make it there? You been getting sick a lot more often too Cass. Maybe we should call your doctor." 

"No. I'll be fine. Ginny said it was going to get worse before it got better. We need to get moving thought." She pulled on one of his tee shirts. "I may be a little slow this morning." 

Slowly he helped her stand up, then he quickly threw on his boxers. "You want some crackers? Those seem to work for you." 

She sat down on the couch while he went to the kitchen. "Take your pills while you're out there." 

He did, knowing taking her the crackers before he took his pills would get him no where. She would just fuss until he did. He brought over the box of crackers and a glass of flat ginger ale for her. Lately they have just been buying it and putting it in the fridge with the cap off so it loses its fizz.

Just then Mark came in the door carrying a deli bag. "Oh good, you're up. Happy birthday." He tossed the bag to Roger on the couch who started to open it. "I got breakfast. Taylor ham, egg and cheese on a bagel. They actually had onion bagels left, so I got yours on that Rog." 

Roger was opening the bag as Mark spoke. The smell of the egg and grease mixed with the onion bagel was more than her stomach could take. Cass bolted for the bathroom.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry." Mark told Roger who picked up the glass and walked to the bathroom. 

"Don't worry about it. Are you ready?" 

"Almost. Ask her if I have to wear a tie."

"Tie?" Roger hadn't thought of that. God he hoped not. Not that it mattered, he didn't even own a tie. He helped her into the shower and went back out to Mark, picking up his onion bagel sandwich. 

"She said a tie on you would be a nice touch." He laughed. 

"I'm guess you won't be wearing one." 

"Uh, no." He bit into his sandwich. "I still can't believe she's doing this."

"We are doing this. Remember? And I can believe it. That's just Cass." He shrugged. "Savior of lost causes." Mark laughed at his own joke. 

"What are you talking about?" He asked through a mouthful of food. "Savior of lost causes?" 

"You know," he shrugged again, "us." 

"What?" 

"Well she almost tried to buy this dump once before." 

"When?" 

"Christmas time, a few years back. When you, me and Mimi were temporarily homeless." 

"Oh." Roger looked down at his food for a second, starting to lose his appetite. "So, um, what happened? Why didn't she?" 

Mark looked down at his shoes, which suddenly became very fascinating. "Um, she, uh, had an accident or something. Ended up in the hospital." 

"Oh." Yeah there went this appetite all right. 

"Come on Rog, that's just Cass. And all that other stuff, well it's over. She doesn't have to worry about it. Ever again." 

"Yeah, I know." He played with his sandwich. 

"You know I never knew about all that stuff. If I had known Roger, if I had any idea, I would have done something. I don't know what, but something." 

"Yeah, I know you would have." Roger looked at him. "She is pretty amazing isn't she?" 

"You don't even know the half of it." Mark grinned. 

Just then Cass came out of the bathroom in a towel, looking somewhat pale. 

"You okay Baby?"

"Peachy. You're going to be cold if that's all your wearing." She motioned towards his boxers. 

"I'm coming." He stood up and walked over to her grabbing her around the waist. "Any chance you're wearing that?" 

Cass covered her nose with one hand and pushed Roger away with the other. "Uhg! Onion bagel breathe! Go brush your teeth and get dressed." 

Roger laughed, letting her go. "Okay, okay I'm going. But I'm not wearing a tie!"

After about twenty minutes later she came out of the bedroom ready to go. Mark had dug out a tie and Roger had on his leather pants and his new leather jacket. 

"Wow." Mark said as Cass came out in the only business suit she currently owned. "I mean, uh, I, ah, sorry." He started turning red. 

Roger just started laughing at him. "He's right thought. You look damn hot in that Babe."

"Let's just go. Please?" Cass was not looking forward to today. She just wanted to get this over with, come home and lay down. Hopefully to feel better later. God this was so not how she wanted to spend Roger's birthday.

**************

With his arm around her waist Roger just looked at her again as he reached for the lobby door. "Stop looking at me like that or next time I'll throw up on you." She told him as she stepped into the lobby. She saw Mark open his moth to speak and she cut him off. "That goes for you too. And stop asking me if I'm okay. God corporate takeovers are supposed to be fun. What are you doing here?" 

Roger and Mark looked up at that statement surprised. "I, uh, I thought maybe we could all go to lunch, you know, after." Maureen smiled trying to act innocent. 

"Bull Mo, you came hoping to see fireworks." Mark told her bluntly. 

"Okay, yeah." She shrugged. "That and lunch."

"Can we stop talking about food please." Cass pleaded, dropping into a chair. 

"You want something to drink Cass?" Roger asked her softly rubbing her back. 

"No. Mark tell them we're here please." 

"So do I get to watch?" Maureen asked. 

"No." Roger and Mark told her at the same time. 

After a few minutes, Joanne came out to get them. Okay are you guys – Maureen what are you doing here?" 

"She came to be nosey." Roger told Joanne while helping Cass up.

"Maureen!" Joanne scolded, wide-eyed as she opened the door back into the inner office. "I can't believe you!" She looked at Cass who had turned ghostly pale. "Cass are you okay?"

"No." She swallowed hard, closing her eyes. 

"Honey take her down to the bathroom by my office. We'll be in the small conference room."

Maureen started to walk Cass down the hall. She turned towards Joanne with a grin. "You mean the one we--"

"Yes Maureen!" Joanne said sternly. "The small conference room by my office." She gave her a look that said shut up as Maureen started down the hall again. 

The way she snapped at Maureen peaked Roger and Mark's interest who started laughing as Joanne dropped her head into her hand. "I swear, sometimes she is so, so, aghhh!" Joanne tried to regain her corporate composure. "Will you two please be quite. I do have to work here you know." Joanne opened the conference room door and let them in. After the door closed and they got settled she briefly explained what was going to happen. 

After a few minutes Joanne looked at her watch. "I'm guessing we aren't gong out tonight. Happy birthday by the way." 

"Thanks. And no, most likely we aren't going out. Maybe we can just hang out at the loft. Order in or something." 

"Yeah. She puked before we left and again on the way here. I think the subway did her in." 

"Yeah maybe we better take a cab home." 

Just then Cass and Maureen came into the room and sat down. Joanne gave Cass some papers and briefly re-capped what she told Mark and Roger already. She gave them all papers to sign. "Congratulations. You two together now own almost ¾ percent of your own company. I guess you have to give up your bohemian, vagrant, freeloader union cards now."

"Ha ha. What now?" Roger asked looking over at Cass. 

Joanne looked at her watch again. "Allison and her father are due any minute. So now we wait. Cass you want something to drink? Maureen go down to the kitchen and get her a soda. And if you dig around you may find some crackers." 

Maureen gave her an annoyed look, but did as she was told. She came back and gave Cass a coke and a few packets of crackers. The receptionist followed her in. "Joanne, the Grey's are here."

"Thank you Cathy. Can you give me three minutes then show them in?" 

"Sure." 

When she was gone Joanne turned to Maureen who was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Hunnybear can you go wait in my office" 

"What?" Maureen said wide-eyed. "But I wanted to watch!" 

"Maureen you can't be in here. It's inappropriate." 

"But I wanted to see his face!" 

"You can't. You shouldn't even be here. Please wait in my office. Please?"

"Mo, just go, please." Mark pleaded. "I'll give you all the details later. I promise." 

"Fine!" She stood up in a huff. "But I want full details Mark. Hmf. The one time you don't bring that stupid camera!" She stormed out. 

"Ever the drama queen." Mark said sarcastically. 

"I swear!" Joanne said shaking her head. "She had no clue as to what, okay here they come." Joanne stood back up and smiled. "Mr. Grey. Ms. Grey. Mr. Coffin." Joanne had all she could do to keep from cracking up when she saw the look on Benny's face. The smug look dissolved as his mouth feel open seeing Roger and Mark. "Robert." She shook hands with the last person through the door. "Robert Stroud, meet me clients Cass Sullivan, Roger Davis and Mark Cohen. Owners of CDS Enterprise." She looked toward Cass and the guys. "This is Robert Stroud, he's the real estate attorney for Grey Investments." 

"Nice to meet you. Glad we could put this together so quickly." He told them sitting down and opening his brief case. 

"Yes this is splendid. Hell of an investment you all are getting, if you can handle working within the zoning laws." Mr. Grey told them. "Yes sir, as long as you don't mind dropping that initial money into the necessary renovations and upgrades. A couple of years from now the re-sale on that place should be great. What I always said eh Ben?" He slapped Benny on the back. 

Mark has all he could do to keep from cracking up. He knew how much Benny hated it when his father in law called him Ben. He was also loving the look still on Benny's face. Mark looked over at Roger who was glaring at Benny. Damn he thought he really should be enjoying this moment. It was clear Benny had no idea coming here it was going to be them sitting across the table from him. Mark whacked Roger in the leg with his own knee. Roger looked up from Benny to Mark who mouthed the word "relax" and motioned towards Allison, who was obviously enjoying this moment. 

"You did Daddy." Allison grinned at him. "When Cass and I first talked about this, I knew you would think it was a good idea. So much better than that stupid Cyber Arts thing." 

"Yes, Ben that wasn't exactly one of our finest moment. Now was it?" Mr. Grey asked him. Benny said nothing. "And after that, we got locked into that place. We've been looking for someone willing to take that building on for awhile now. From what Allison tells me Ms. Sullivan, you've got a very good sense of these matters. Good long range vision. See what an investment has potential for in the long run." 

"Well are we ready to begin?" Mr. Stroud asked, setting papers in front of Joanne who briefly looked through them. 

Joanne flipped through the papers and handed them to Cass. "Okay you need to sign here, here, here, here and here. Roger you and Mark need to sign there as well." They completed all the necessary signatures and Joanne handed the papers and a bank check over to Mr. Stroud. 

He took the check, handed it to Mr. Grey and had him, Allison and Benny sign as well. "Well that's it. Congratulations. You now officially own the building and the adjoining lot." 

Mark, Roger and Benny were still sitting there, somewhat in shock. Allison started to speak to Cass. "Well I'm so glad to be out of that!" She picked up the check. "That opens up a little playing around money as well." 

Benny suddenly perked up. "That's true. That place was always been a financial drain the last few years. Having that extra money will be nice."   
  
"Yes, now we can roll that over into that long term investment I told you about Ben." 

Mark watched Benny's grin fade. He knew Benny figured he was going to get his money out of all this. Apparently Mr. Grey had other plans.

"Yes sir Ben, ten years from now, I guarantee we can triple that money." 

Mark wasn't sure what would happen first, Benny would start crying or Roger would break out laughing. 

"See Benny, I told you Daddy would make you rich someday." She grinned. "Who would have ever though that tiny little initial investment from the sale of your grandparent's house could turn into this. And just think, like Daddy said, ten years from now what we'll be able to do with it. It's a good thing Daddy's such a genius." 

"Yeah, great." Benny told her, very unenthusiastically. 

  
Just then Mr. Grey's cell phone ran as he excused himself to answer it. Mr. Stroud started packing up papers. Benny just sat there, glaring back at Roger, who had a stupid looking grin on his face.

"So Cass, here's that contractor's information I told you about." She gave her the paper. "He's really good. Reliable, dependable, fairly priced and quick too. Right Benny?" 

"Yeah, whatever." He just shook his head and looked down at the table.

Allison gave him a disapproving look and kept going. "Well once you're done and ready to decorate let me know. I love to redecorate. Don't I Benny?" 

"Oh, um, yeah, I guess, whatever." He obviously wasn't paying attention.

"We'll go shopping again. Get you guys some new furniture. Benny do you know they still have that ugly old couch your uncle gave you when you lived there! I couldn't believe that when I picked up Cass last week. We'll have to go shopping again soon." 

"Sure, soon." Cass told her. 

Roger leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Baby are you okay?" 

"No. I'll be right back. Excuse me." Cass quickly got up and walked out of the conference room. 

"Roger is she okay? She suddenly went from pale to kind of greenish." Allison asked 

Joanne looked from Mark to Roger. "Well Robert," she tried to hurry them along, "anything else?" 

Before the other lawyer could answer Benny glared at Roger and Mark. "I guess living with you two and being in business with you two is enough to turn anyone's stomach." 

"Benny!" Allison yelled at him. 

"Or is she just another of your strung out girlfriends?" He said evilly. 

For once in his life Mark moved faster than Roger. Joanne's mouth dropped open. Roger Stroud looked around uncomfortably. Allison looked like she had just been slapped. For the first second Roger sat there stunned. He didn't know what surprised him more. The fact that Benny would say that, especially considering he supposedly cared so much about Mimi, or Mark's reaction. 

Before Roger could even react Mark had jumped up and grabbed Benny by the shirt and started screaming at him. "You fucking bastard! You used to be one of our friends remember? And don't you ever fucking say anything about her ever again. She's fucking pregnant you low life!" 

By then Roger had grabbed him. He hadn't stopped him or anything but he had grabbed him. Finally he spoke. "Just never mind Mark. He's not fucking worth it." 

Allison had slunk back into her seat. Mark thought back to what Benny had said about her trying to get pregnant. He knew as much as it hurt him and Roger to hear him say things like that about Mimi, it had to hurt Allison as badly. The way Benny had treated her during all that. And here Cass was pregnant on top of it all. 

"Wow." Allison said almost numbly. "She uh, didn't tell me she was pregnant. That's really great Roger. Congratulations. We should go. I'm really sorry." She looked at Benny as they stared to come around the table. "Tell Cass I'll call her. I'm really sorry. I had hoped this would go really well. You know, new start and all." 

Mark just sat in his chair, fuming as Roger stood up. "It's okay Allison. It's not your fault." Roger told her, surprised not only at his own voice, but he words coming out of it. Never before had he sounded so much like Mark. Or Mark reacted so much like him. What a weird day. "But call her, okay?" 

Allison nodded as they started to walk out the door towards the lobby where her father still was on the phone. Roger saw Benny reach for Allison's arm. She shook free of him. "Don't fucking touch me!" And with that they were through the door. 

A minute later Maureen opened the conference room door. "I saw them leave." Was all she said as she picked up Cass' soda and walked back out to her. 

Cass and Maureen came back a few minutes later. Roger stood up as they walked in. "You okay Babe?" 

"I'll survive. I just can't get rid of this migraine." 

"Sweetie have you been able to keep anything down recently?" Joanne asked. 

"Crackers. And ginger ale. That's about it." 

"You gotta eat something besides that Cass." Roger told her, taking her hand. 

  
"I know, it's a vicious cycle. You eat, you throw up. You don't eat, it makes the migraine worse, and you throw up. How about some soup? There is a nice place not far from here. They have really good soups." Joanne suggested to them. "Maybe we could go get a bite for lunch?" 

"I think I just want to go home and lay down."

"Okay, I'll see you tonight after work then. And congratulation you guys." Joanne smiled at them.


	57. 57

Chapter 57

Maureen realized she had been playing on the Internet for over two hours when the phone ran. "Hello?" 

"Something is wrong with the door. Throw down the key." 

"Oh, um, okay." She picked up one of the new keys the locksmith had left, opened the window and leaned out, looking for Collins. She waved at him and Jason and dropped the key down. A few minutes later they were at the loft. 

"Hey Mo. What's up with the door?" Jason asked. 

  
"Oh, Cass had Mark call the locksmith as soon as we got back. Apparently she set it up yesterday. Had him waiting for everything to get signed. She changed the front door and every apartment as well. No more Benny just walking in." She grinned.   
  
"Just a little déjà vu instead." Collins laughed. "At least until everyone gets a key again. Or the speaker box is fixed."

"Yeah she said that should be soon, once the contractor gets started." 

"So Jen doesn't have a key yet?" Jason asked. "Or Ginny or anyone?"

  
"Um no, they are all right here." She pointed at all the envelopes on the counter with apartment numbers written on them. She had helped Mark put them together earlier when they came back from lunch. Letters saying the sale had gone through and telling about the renovations to come. Also how there would be no rent increases at this time either.

"Wow," Collins said sitting at the counter putting down the letter. "With Cass as a landlord, I may actually miss living here." He laughed. "But if no one has a key, maybe we should prop the downstairs door and leave a note telling everyone to come up here for their keys." 

"Oh crap!" Maureen exclaimed. "I was supposed to do just that, like three hours ago!" She hopped up, grabbing the note and ran down the steps.

"I wonder what she's doing here?" Jason asked, falling on the couch. 

Collins got up and moved over next to him, setting the bag they carried on the floor. "Knowing Maureen, she was looking for trouble." 

Jason laughed. "Too true. I wonder how many times she and my sister have spoken since the closing this morning?" Just then the bedroom door opened and Cass came out. "Hey sweetie. We're sorry if we woke you up."

"Oh, um, no you didn't wake me." When she went to sleep it was daylight and now it was dark out. She felt much better and her headache had died down a lot, but she was still a little dazed and confused from sleep. "Um, where's Roger? And Mark?"

"They're gone I guess." 

"They're gone?" She was very confused. "He left? Wait what day is this? How long was I asleep?"

Jason started laughing. "It's still Friday Cass don't worry. You didn't miss much. It's only going on seven at night. Maureen was here. They must have just run out for awhile. Everyone else should be getting here eventually." 

"Oh." She picked Roger's green pullover up off the chair and put it on, sitting on the other end of the couch, tucking her feet up under her. 

Maureen came back in then. "Okay took care of that. Hey Cass. Do you feel better?" 

"Uh huh. Much. Where are Roger and Mark? And how long was I asleep?" 

"Um, I don't know how long you've been asleep. We got back here a little before two. And Roger got up at four. They went to the laundry mat and the Food Emporium. They should be back soon." 

"Oh. So I was asleep for almost five hours?" She shook her head. Why are you still so tired then? Oh yeah, body over taken by alien life form. Good Lord, she thought, now it must be messing with your brain if you're thinking thoughts like that. She pushed herself more into the corner of the couch and pulled the blanket off the back of it over her legs. 

She sat there zoning out and trying to wake up in front of the TV as Maureen and Jason handed out keys to various tenants of the building. She hadn't realized she had dozed off again until the cold hands that touched her neck about made her jump off the couch. "Jesus Roger! Your gonna give me a heart attack."

"Sorry Babe." He was laughing as he kissed her. "But at least you're awake now."

"Awake and starving. What are we doing about dinner? I'm finally hungry." 

"So you feel better?"

She nodded. "My migraine seems to be gone too." While she had fallen asleep Jen and Leslie had arrived. "Yeah, what are we eating? I'm starved too." Jason asked. "It's your birthday, you pick." 

"How about pizza? Order enough for Izzy and Krystal, they should be here soon." Roger yelled back, walking into his room followed by Cass. He threw the laundry bag on the floor and fell down on the bed, pulling her down onto his lap. 

"Where have you been? I didn't even know you were gone until I got up. A mere five hours after we laid down." She smiled at him. 

"Good." He grinned at her insidiously. 

"Good what?" she asked him, puzzled. 

"Good that you slept for five hours. You'll need it." He shifted over, pulled the laundry bag closer and pulled the shopping bag out of it, dropping it into her lap. "I went shopping." 

Opening the bag, she peered in. "Gee Roger, couldn't you find a bigger box?" 

"Nope, biggest one they had. But even on my best night I don't think even I could use all 24. But I'm more than willing to try." He grinned at her. 

"I don't know if I'm that ambitious, it was only a five hour nap." 

"But Baby, it _is_ my birthday."

"So I've heard." She grinned at him, running her finger up his chest, under his shirt. "Maybe we'll have to do something for that." She started kissing his neck as her hand went back down and into his pants. She heard him give a slight moan as she ran her tongue up his neck to his ear and gently bit it before starting to suck on his earlobe and play with his earrings with her tongue. All the while she still had her hand in his pants. 

"Yo! Get the fuck out here or I take your birthday present home!" Izzy yelled as he pounded on the wall. 

Roger's eyes flew open as Cass pulled her hand back out. "Later, I promise. Buying the building won't be the only good investment you made today." She winked at him, standing up. 

"God his fucking timing sucks! Again! As usual!" 

Cass just laughed at him as she dropped the box into the bottom drawer of the dresser. 

******************

"So you're actually going to convert the whole fourth floor into one giant apartment. Wow. Space. In New York. Who would have thought." Krystal joked, picking up another slice of pizza. 

"Not that much space. At least storage space. I can't figure out how to work in more closet space without yanking the elevator. But if we do that, we could turn the elevator space into storage on each floor for the two smaller apartments." 

"That would be great. It's not like it works anyway." Leslie added. 

"That's true. And bringing that thing up to code would be expensive. And it's low on the list of priorities. What would you rather have storage or an elevator?" 

"Elevator." Mark, Roger, Jason and Collins all said at the same time, surprising everyone and causing all the girls to laugh. 

"Lazy asses." Ginny told them, biting into her pizza. 

"A- we live on the fourth floor. B- think back to who had to carry half your crap up to your apartment when you moved in. And C- it's my birthday so either give me a present or be nice to me for one fucking day a year!" Roger told Ginny. 

"Yeah." Mark added. 

Roger just looked at him then back to Ginny. "Screw that, you should give me a present and be nice to me." 

"He's right. We're the ones that had to move all your crap up two flights of stairs." Mark said to her. "And don't any of the three of you forget that stupid dresser either." 

"What dresser?" Cass asked. 

Mark looked at Roger who started laughing. "You tell her. I'm tired just thinking about it." 

Mark looked at Ginny, Leslie and Jen who were sitting next to each other, refusing to make eye contact with anyone at that moment. "Okay, so basically, Mimi's gonna move up here and Ginny's gonna move into Mimi's apartment. Should be simple right? Well as soon as those three got involved," he pointed at the girls, "it got complicated." 

"Real fucking complicated." Roger shook his head. 

"Complicated, but highly amusing." Collins laughed. 

"Thank you so much Mr. Jason-and-I-can't-help-because-we'll-be-in-Atlantic-City-that-weekend." Mark scoffed at him. "Okay so we move all Mimi's stuff up here. Not so bad. But then, the Witches of Bitchwick and Mimi all get talking. Mimi was leaving some of her furniture down there for Nurse Cratchet, but they want us to move what's left out into the hall so they can paint." 

"Notice he said 'they'." Roger pointed out to her. 

"Anyway, we get stuff moved around and it suddenly goes from they to us. So first we have to move it, then paint, then move it back." 

"But what about the dresser?" Cass asked. 

"Oh he's getting there." Collins laughed. 

Mark gave him a look again, this time even Roger laughed. "So we move it all back in. But then we gotta move Ginny's stuff in. So Mimi left this very big-"

  
"It's not so big." Ginny said sarcastically. 

"Did you ever move it?" Roger asked.

"Anyway," Mark continued, "very big, very awkward, very heavy dresser. Well, it and Ginny's stuff won't fit. So Ginny tells us to take it up here. So like idiots we do. But we get it here and then Leslie tells us 'oh I was supposed to tell you to take the big dresser to Jen's, Ginny's dresser up here and Jen's to Ginny's. Got to go to work. Bye.' So now we are playing musical dressers." 

"Musical heavy dressers that cover three floors." 

"So being that we are total shmucks, we move them all. Again."   
  
"Ask him which dresser up her was Ginny's old one Cass." Jason said grinning. 

"I don't know what you're ginning at, you had to move all Jen's crap in originally on your own." Mark said to him dryly.

"So which one?" Cass laughed. 

"None of them." Roger glared at the girls. 

"What?" Cass was cracking up by now. 

"None of them." Mark said in an almost defeated tone. "In the end, we had to move the big dress back downstairs to Leslie's right next door to where it started. Ginny's from here down to her place, and Jen's back down to her place." He sighed as everyone stared laughing. 

"You mean after all that only change was from Ginny's right next door to Leslie's?" 

"Yup." Roger told her. "That and we had to move an entirely different dresser somebody at the club gave Mimi all the way up here. So that's why we say elevator. You four can buy less crap and you won't need more storage. An elevator is useful." 

"I'll keep that in mind Baby." She laughed at him. 

"Yeah by the way, I'm thinking of getting a new couch." Jen laughed. 

"Yeah I'm gonna buy a new bedroom set." Ginny joked. 

"Well then you two better start dating more, so you can find some sucker to move it all for you, cause we're done." Roger told them. 

"Bite me!" Ginny told him.

"Be nice to me Super Witch, it's my birthday." 

"I'll try and remember that." She laughed, walking to the fridge. "Who wants a beer?" 

"Okay, pizza's done. I suppose we should give you an actual present now, huh?" Mark joked. 

"Cool, presents." He pulled Cass closer and kissed her on the cheek. 

"Oh, we should have gotten ice cream. Chocolate, no coffee ice cream with chocolate in it. No wait, coffee, with Oreo's, no with chocolate in it and Oreo's on top. With chocolate syrup. And whip cream." Cass looked around at everyone looking at her. "What? I said I felt better." 

"Apparently." Mark said getting up off the floor and walking to his room. 

"Here. Krystal said I had to shop so, well, you know." He handed Roger a brown paper bag that had been twisted around a bottle. 

Roger pulled the bottle out and looked at it. "Vodka. What a surprise. How did you ever guess?" 

"Well, while we're at it. Here's from Ginny and me." Leslie handed him another bag wrapped bottle. 

"Ew, let me guess. Could it be vodka?" He pulled the bottle out of the bag. "Or, half a bottle of vodka." He laughed. 

"Ginny!" 

"Shit I knew there was something I meant to do." She looked from Leslie to Roger. "Sorry, I had a date the other night." She shrugged. 

"And here I thought that was just dogs howling at the moon." Roger teased her. 

"Enough." Jen handed him a gift-wrapped box. "Happy birthday. And it's not Vodka." 

"I can tell." Roger opened the wrapping paper, sticking the bow on Cass' head. "Cool. Coffee cups. I don't know what happened. We used to have a ton and all of a sudden we've got like three. Thanks Jen." 

Jennifer shook her head. He had no clue how many busted coffee cups she'd cleaned up off the floor in the last two months.

"Okay here. Mark handed him a Quick Print bag. It's from me, Mo and Joanne. Maureen made it at the copy shop." 

  
"Well I transferred it. We got a new machine. Makes iron on transfers. Mark found the originals. And Joanne figured out what to put them on!" Maureen almost couldn't contain herself. 

Roger reached into the bag and pulled out about the littlest piece of clothing he had ever seen. 

"It's for the baby!" Maureen explained, as if none of them could figure it out. "Look at the other one too!" 

Roger handed the first little outfit to Cass and pulled out the second one.

"Show them what it says!" Maureen told him. 

"Wow. One says Artie and the Iguana's and the other says the Well Hungarians." 

"They look like tiny little band shirts. Those are so cute." Jen cooed. 

"Yup. And those things are called onesies." Mark said, very knowledgeably. 

"And how do you know that?" Jen asked him. 

"Well, Joellen told me. But the point is, I know. And according to the lady at the store, you're gonna need a bunch of those." 

"Okay." Collins said standing up and getting the bag he walked in with. "They say knowledge is power. And no offense, but you getting your baby knowledge from Mark worries me. So," he tossed Roger a plastic bookstore bag. That's from us. And just so you don't feel left out…" He tossed one to Mark as well. 

"Roger that's a book. And those little squiggly things inside are called words. Be nice and maybe Cass will read it to you." Ginny said sarcastically. 

Roger ignored her and pulled the yellow book out of the bag. "_Pregnancy for Dummies_. Cute. Real cute. What's the other one?"

"_The Idiot's Guide to Pregnancy_. Oh you guys are real funny. Completely correct and accurate, but real funny." Mark laughed. 

Cass pulled the blanket up over her legs and cuddled in closer to Roger trying to get warm as they all sat around talking. She looked over his shoulder as he flipped through the book. She heard the phone ring and felt him shift on the couch. "I'm awake." She said as her head bobbed up as Roger tried to slide out from next to her without waking her.

"Sorry Baby." He told her as he got up and walked into Mark's office, picking up the phone and closing the door to hear over the talking and music. 

"What's going on?" She yawned. "God, why am I so tired? Mark who's he talking to?" 

  
"His mom." Mark told her. "She just called." 

"Oh." She yawned again. 

The office door opened and Roger leaned back in the chair and called out. "Mark did I get any mail?"   
  
"Um, hold on." He got up off the floor, went to the desk and picked up the cards, taking them to Roger in the office. 

"You okay Cass?" Maureen asked her. "You want something to drink?"

"Yeah. I'll get it. Maybe it'll wake me up." She went to the kitchen and got herself a drink. Leaning on the counter she watched Mark come out of the office with a strange look on his face. He walked over by Collins and sat down. 

"Wow, I don't believe it." Mark said to Collins. 

"What?"

"His mom and his grandmother. They each sent him twenty bucks. Cash." 

"Wow. Impressive." Collins said. 

"What's the big deal?" Jen shrugged. "So they sent him twenty dollars." 

"Doesn't she usually send him gift certificates for Food Emporium?" Maureen asked. 

"Uh huh. And his grandmother would sometimes send him movie rental tickets, but mostly Food Emporium certificates. But actual cash. That's good." Mark got a small grin on his face. 

"So what's so impressive about a lousy twenty dollar bill?" Ginny asked. 

Cass listened to all this from the kitchen. She didn't know all that other stuff, but it all clicked and she understood the astonishment Mark and Collins seemed to feel. 

"Yeah, I don't get it." Jen said, looking at them confused. 

"The big deal is you don't give an addict cash." Cass said form the kitchen. "You can give them gift certificates to the grocery store and hope they eat and not trade them out. But you don't give them cash and make it easy for them." She took a drink of her ginger ale. "Unless of course you're my father. Who gives you a thousand dollars cash and says go buy something that will make you happy sweetheart." 

"You're kidding." Mark said wide-eyed. 

"He really did that?" Maureen asked. "What did you do?" 

Cass shrugged as she walked over and flopped down on the couch. "Went out and bought myself something to make me happy." She laughed, realizing not everyone got the joke. "You know." She sniffed twice and rubbed her finger under her nose, laughing. 

"Don't do that!" Mark snapped at her. 

"Sorry sweetie." Cass yawned. 

"Well, I gotta go. I gotta do a late set at the club." Ginny said standing up. 

  
"Yeah we gotta go to." Izzy said. "We gotta go to the bar and close up." 

"You gotta close up, not me." Krystal said standing up. "Tell Roger we said good bye. And happy birthday." 

After a few minutes Roger came out of the office and sat down on the couch, pulling Cass almost on his lap. "Hey are you going out with Joellen later?" He asked Mark. 

"No she's working late and then going home. She's gotta do something early tomorrow morning before we go out."

"Oh." Roger looked at Cass as he ran his fingers up her arm. "So you guys want to go out? Get a couple of drinks?" 

"Sure." Maureen agreed, looking to Jen who shook her head. 

"Cool." Roger reached into his pocket and pulled out some money. "Here's twenty bucks. Have fun and be quite when you come home." He told them handing the money to Mark. 

"I think we just got kicked out." Mark laughed. 

"Uh huh." Maureen agreed. "Definitely kicked out." 

"I still gotta pack and stuff." 

"More and stuff then pack I'm sure." Maureen said sarcastically. 

*********************

Cass lay on the bed and watched him pack while she flipped through one of the books. "It's kind of funny what you got for your birthday. Vodka and baby stuff." She laughed. 

"Uh huh." He grinned, closing up the bag and setting it on the floor. "Last year all I got was alcohol." He sat down next to her on the bed, picking up one of the baby outfits. "I can't believe we have actual baby stuff. It kinda seems more real now then before. Sitting here looking at it, knowing it's gonna be an actual little baby."   
  
"I know what you mean. Are you okay with this still?" 

He looked up at her from the clothing he was holding. "Yeah I guess. It's just a little freaky. I mean look at this thing." He held up the Well Hungarians outfit. "It's so tiny!" 

"From a baby perspective, I can see that, but, ah…"

"What?" He grinned at her pulling her close to him. 

"Oh don't know. I guess form the perspective of getting it from in here," she pointed to her stomach before running her hands over the outfit, "to out here, it looks a little huge to me." 

Roger started laughing as he kissed her. 

"It's not funny Roger. It's really gonna hurt. Don't laugh at me!" 

"I'm sorry Baby. Really." He ran his fingers up her back. 

"Tell me about the Well Hungarians." She said, resting her head on his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist. 

"It was a band I had. Actually a good band for awhile. Most successful one I ever had. And we lasted a pretty long time too. Until I fucked it all up." 

"What do you mean?" 

  
He shrugged. "Too wasted to get to practice. Stuff like that. And then April…" He trailed off. 

"I'm sorry Baby. But now look at what you're doing. Going on a tour! You've come such a long way. I'm real proud of you. I'm going to miss you terribly, but I'm really proud of you." 

He smiled a little knowing she couldn't see his face. "Thanks Baby." He played with her hair for a few minutes. "My mom sent me twenty dollars for my birthday. It's been a really long time since she did that." 

"I know. I heard Mark and Collins talking. That's good. That means she trusts you again." 

"Yeah, I guess it does." He ran his fingers through her hair again. "She's got this crazy idea about me coming to dinner on Thanksgiving." Roger told her hesitantly.

"Oh." 

"What's the matter?" 

"Nothing. I just was kind of hoping we could do something for Thanksgiving together. I've really only ever had a couple Thanksgiving dinners in my life." 

"Well, I didn't say I was going, and if I did, I'd take you with me silly. How have you only had a few Thanksgiving dinners?" 

She shrugged. "I was always either in the wrong country, or no one was around. We went to Paulie's mom's once. I was kind of looking forward to a turkey and that red stuff. I've never had that red stuff before." She grinned. 

"You mean cranberry sauce? Yeah, real food sounds good. And my mom is a really good cook too. Ask Mark." 

"How long has it been since you saw her?" 

He kept playing with her hair as he stared out over hr head. "I don't know. Six or seven years. Maybe more. Before April..."

"Well, maybe now would be a good time to see her again." 

  
"Maybe. I don't know, let me think about it. Maybe we could go. We'll see. I wouldn't mind seeing her again. Someday. It would be kinda nice for her to meet you too. Prove I'm not a total fuck up." 

"You're not a fuck up Roger." She said softly, running her hands over his stomach. "You've just made some not so great choices and had lousy luck because of those." 

"That's the polite definition for fuck up." 

She sighed, knowing she'd never be able to make him think otherwise. "Roger does she know about me?" 

His hand went down her arm to her hand where he intertwined their fingers. "She knows you live her and your name. I guess that's about all." He told her apologetically. 

"Does she know I'm pregnant?" 

"I haven't told her. And no matter what, it wouldn't change anything between us. We'd still be you and me and the baby. Our baby as far as anybody is concerned." 

"I love you Roger." She said softly as a tear ran down her cheek. 

"I love you too Baby. I don't know what I'm gonna do for two whole weeks without you." He ran his hand up her back, under her shirt. "Now what about the rest of my birthday?" He asked, grinning. 

Cass sat up and shifted so she was straddling his lap. "So what do you want for your birthday?" She asked him, running her hands up under his shirt. 

"What are you offering?" He asked, giving her that incredible grin of his. 

"Whatever you want." She told him wiggling around on his lap. 

Roger kicked off his boots as he grinned up at her. "For what I want for my birthday, you are way overdressed." He ran his hands up her back and in one motion he undid her bra and pulled her shirt off over her head. "That's much better." He smiled at her as his hands grouped up her chest. "God you are so beautiful." He told her. 

"If I'm over dressed," she slid off his lap onto her knees on the floor, "then so are you." She undid his jeans and slid them off him, leaving him in his boxers and tee shirt. 

Quickly he yanked his shirt off and lay back on the bed. Cass started to crawl back up onto the bed, leaning on one hand while the other went up the leg of his boxers. Leaning forward her nipples brushing across his skin as she moved up to his mouth, kissing him hard and wantingly. 

He started to kiss her back, but she pulled away and grinned at him, shaking her head. She started to move down his neck, towards his body alternating between kissing, sucking and biting at his skin. She pulled off his boxers and she kissed back up his thigh. 

A low moan escaped his lips as his eyes squeezed closed under her touch. He felt her tongue run up him as her mouth closed down over him. God that felt so good he had almost forgotten what it felt like to be touched like that without condom between them. Suddenly his eyes flew open. "Cass!" 

She knew immediately what he had been thinking. She could tell by the tone in his voice. The way he said her name. Not with passion but panic. "Shhh Baby, it's okay, we'll get one before we get that far. Don't worry." She felt him lay back down the rest of the way, but he didn't relax. "It's okay Baby." She moved to the dresser and opened the new box. "It's okay." 

"No it's not." He told her pulling her up to him on the bed, kissing her. "But I _really_ love you." 


	58. 58

A/N Wow! I can't believe somebody read this whole thing in 2 days! I can't thank you guys enough for sticking with me! Your continuous reviews just make my day. As always, thank you all for reading and liking this. You guys are great!

Note to Sandy – I knew that about Alison. I even checked when I was writing _Lonely Nights_. I don't know why I couldn't remember to do that in this one. So please forgive my faux pas.

Chapter 58

"You got extra strings? And your toothbrush?" Mark asked him. 

"Yes." 

"And your phone? And the charger? And your sunglasses? And your wallet?" 

"Yes." 

"And the CD from Izzy to give to Trey?" 

  
"Yes Mom!" Roger grinned at Mark. "You know I have managed to go away before and pack all by myself. God Mark, what's next? You gonna tell me you wrote my name in my underwear too?" 

Cass laughed from the couch. "Did you pack all you pills?" 

"Yes I packed my pills." He told her sitting down next to her, pulling her close.

"Are you going to remember to take them?" Mark asked him. 

"Yes Mark I think I can remember to take them. So don't call me three times a day." He called over the back of the couch to him. "When's Mo getting here?" 

"Soon." Mark looked at his watch. "We need to leave here at one. That's in thirty minutes, just so you know. I gotta go down to Jen's, I'll be back." 

"I'm sure you will." Roger said dryly as he grinned at Cass as Mark walked out the door.

After Mark was gone Cass turned to Roger. "Why can't I come with you to the train station?" 

Roger hugged her close to him, kissing the side of her neck. "Because you don't feel good." 

"I feel fine." She protested. 

"Liar!" He kissed her nose. "Want me to dig out that onion bagel or some cold pizza to prove it?" 

"Um, no. But I want to go." 

"Nope. Mark's not coming back her until later. And Mo is coming over to hang out with you. Plus we need to take two different subway trains to even get there. I'd prefer the last time I saw you it wasn't to watch you puke or turn that pretty shade of green you get after riding the subway." He grinned at her. 

"Please?" She begged. 

"No. Stay here. Please?" he asked her. 

"If that's what you really want."

"Yes that is what I want. That and you." He laughed grabbing her and pushing her down on the couch, kissing her hard. She kissed him back and as they moved around on the couch they almost fell off. Before they knew it Mark was back. 

"Okay we got to go." He called walking through the door.

"Knew he'd be back." Roger whispered to her as he sat up. He looked at his watch. "We got ten minutes. You said one." 

"I figured it'd take that long to make it out he door." He knew he would be right about that. Ten minutes later he all but was dragging Roger out the door. "We gotta leave now. Cass he's gonna miss his train if you don't make him leave." 

"He's right. You need to go." She hugged him in the bedroom. 

"I know." He told her in a low voce, but not letting go. 

"I'm gonna miss you."

"Me too." He ran his hand up into her hair, taking in the smell trying to memorize it. 

"You're gonna be awesome." 

  
"I love you Cass." 

"I love you too."

He pulled her up and kissed her hard. "I gotta go. I love you. I'll call you tonight after the show. I promise. I love you Cass." 

"I love you too. Be careful. Don't forget to take your pills. Or to call me. I'm so proud of you Baby." She pulled back and sat down on the bed, pulling her knees up to her chin. 

Roger picked up his bag, her backpack and his guitar. "I love you Baby. I'm gonna miss you." Without giving her a chance to even say anything he almost bolted out of the bedroom. 

She just sat there. She heard him tell Mark he was ready. She heard the front door open and Mark call to her that Maureen should be there any minute. Call him on his cell if she needed anything and he'd be back later this evening. Then the door closed and she was alone.

*************

Roger sat down next to Mark on the subway, his guitar between his knees. "Maureen should be there by now right?"

"Yeah, and besides she knows both Jen and Leslie are home. She'll be fine, will you stop worrying and just enjoy this!" 

"Yeah I know, I just feel bad leaving her alone to run off and have fun." 

"First of all, she's not alone, I'll be there. Secondly, you deserve this. This is what you always wanted. Always worked for." Mark sighed. 

Hearing Mark sigh like that, he knew what Mark was thinking. That just made him feel even more guilty. "You're gonna get there Mark. Really you will." 

"Huh?"   
  
"You're gonna get the one film that both you and those idiots love one of these days. I know it. You've always worked for it. You deserve it a lot more than me. I've always just been playing around and for once got lucky instead of fucking up." 

Mark looked at him for a second. "So is that a direct Jack Davis quote or are you paraphrasing?" He knew he would hit a nerve at the mention of Roger's father, but he didn't care. He hated it when Roger beat himself down like that. The self-pity act was one thing, but this was down right lying to himself. 

Roger thought about it for a second. He started to get pissed at Mark for saying that, but he realized Mark was right. "Yeah I guess that was sort of a la Jack. Sorry I just feel like, I don't know, overwhelmed, somewhat freaked out. Okay, scared shitless." 

"About what?" Mark grinned. "You toured before." 

"Yeah with my band. This is a slightly bigger deal than anything the Well Hungarians ever did. And it's not just that. It's Cass. And leaving her alone. What if I come back in two weeks and well, things have changed?" 

"Like what?" 

"Well I mean it's only been two months. And it's not like she hadn't gone through a lot of stuff. She needed me. What if after two weeks with me gone, she doesn't need me anymore? She realizes she's perfectly fine on her own?"  


"Roger, she stayed because she wanted to, not because she needed to. She loves you you big idiot!" 

"I know. Look promise me you'll call me if anything happens." 

"She'll be fine, but yeah, I promise." 

"And make her eat something besides crackers. And make her take her vitamins, she doesn't like to take them. Says they make her sick." 

"I can handle that. I've got experience with stubborn people that don't like to take pills." Mark grinned at him. "And since when did you start sounding so much like me? Worrying about stuff and all?"

"Me? You almost flew over the table at Benny yesterday. Fight first has never been your first reaction." Roger pointed out to him, laughing. 

"Yeah I guess there has been a slight role reversal lately. Me I can understand, but why in God's name would you ever want to start becoming more like me? Worrying about everything? Suddenly having priorities. What brought that on?" 

"I don't know," he shrugged, "I guess it's this whole baby thing. I mean did you see how little those clothes were?" 

"Yeah I did, before you as a matter a fact. God we know so nothing about babies. Any of us. And well don't take this the wrong way, but the last person I ever envisioned at a father was you." Mark said sheepishly. 

"Yeah I've been thinking about that a lot, especially since yesterday. With Allison and then last night." 

"What about Allison?" Mark asked as their train pulled to a stop. They got up and started up the platform steps. 

"Well it was always sort of Cass was having a baby and we were just sort of along for the ride. But yesterday, when Allison found out, she looks directly at me and tells me congratulations like I had anything to do with it. Then last night you guys and the baby stuff." He shrugged again as they stepped into Grand Central Station from the subway.

"I mean I'm okay with the world thinking it's mine. Actually I kind of like that part. It's the world looking at me as somebody's father. Like actually being a father, that kind of scares me."

Mark took all this in as they headed towards Roger's train. Finally he spoke as they reached his platform. "Rog you know you're nothing at all like him. You never could be either. That was one of your biggest problems between you two. You could see how horrible and what an ass he really was, your brothers couldn't." 

"But what if…" He shook his head. 

"What if nothing. Jack was a mean, hateful, bastard to you guys and your mom. You are nothing like your father. And you never will be either." 

Roger's eyes went down to the floor. He couldn't look at Mark, right now. "You know my mom said some crazy thing about us coming there for dinner on Thanksgiving." 

"Really? That's great. Are you gonna go?" 

"I don't know. I said something to Cass and she's kinda excited. Said she's only ever had Thanksgiving dinner a few times and really wanted to have a real dinner this year." 

"Well that's good. It might be fun. Are you two going to go?" 

  
"Like I said, I don't know. And if we go, so do you. So what do you think?" 

"That you are going to force me to go to Scarsdale, but luckily my parents will be at my aunts in Albany for the weekend." He grinned. "But I think your mom would really like to see you. And you wouldn't mind seeing her. And if she found out you were having a baby, it could only help things." 

"Yeah, I don't know if I'm ready for the whole happy family thing though." 

"Okay, so don't mention the baby. But I will tell you this, if Cass really wants a Thanksgiving dinner, I'd much rather your mother cook it then Cass." He laughed. 

"Yeah I can understand that!" Roger laughed. "I've kinda missed her cooking. Especially since Cass has been making so many attempts lately. And not that your Ramon noodles aren't world class or anything Marky." He grinned. 

"Get on the train Davis!" Mark laughed at him. "And don't forget to take your pills. And to eat. And to call us. And don't worry, everything's going to be fine." Mark gave him a quick hug. "Now get on the fucking train!" 

"Yes mom." Roger laughed, picking up his bag that Mark had been carrying. He got a big stupid grin on his face. "Thanks. I'll talk to you soon. Uncle Marky!" With that he got on the train.

****************

By the time Mark reached the door of the Life Café he could see Joellen sitting at the bar waiting for him. Crap he thought, late again. "Hey, I'm sorry. Again. As usual." He told her. 

"I'm used to it." She laughed. "You ready? We're still going up to the MOMA?"

"Yeah, sure. Let me just call Cass real quick and check on her. See if she wants any food." He pulled out his phone. 

"Hey of course, gotta check on Cass." She said turning on her stool, saying it more to the other waitress she had been talking to before he got there.

"Okay she's fine. She's sitting around with Mo, Joanne and Jen. Something about nails and wax." 

  
"Great. Now can we go?" 

"Um, sure." Mark said hesitantly. He had the feeling she was annoyed at him but he didn't know why. He decided not to push it unless she said something. They went to the museum and walked through almost the whole thing. They got back on the subway headed back towards the loft. 

"That was really fun. I haven't been there in a really long time." 

"Yeah that was nice. What do you want to do now?" She asked him. "I'm getting hungry." 

"Yeah me too. Where do you want to go?" 

"How about we pick up some movies and food and I'll cook at your place." 

"That sounds good. Oh wait, if we do that there's a good chance there would be more than just the three of us."

"The three of us?" She was confused. 

"Yeah. Jen and Mo and Joanne are probably still there with Cass. You probably don't want to cook for all of them." Mark said apologetically. 

"Yeah why don't we just stop somewhere." Because no, I do not want to cook for all those people.

"Okay. I'll take you anyplace you want. Are you mad at me?" 

"No. Don't mind me. I'm being bitchy today. Let's just go eat." 

They finished their dinner and picked out some movies before heading back to the loft. "Are you sure you're okay?" Mark asked her again, as they climbed the stairs up to his place. 

"Yes, I'm just a little tired after work today. Maybe we can watch one movie and got to bed?" 

"Well if you're that tired, maybe I should let you go to sleep now." He teased her. 

"I said go to bed, not sleep." She grinned as Mark opened the door. Her grin fell as she saw Cass, Jen and Leslie watching TV 

"Hey." Cass looked up from the couch. You guys are back early." 

"We brought movies."   


"Cool what did you get?" Jen asked. 

Mark dropped the bags next to them on the couch as he tossed their jackets into his room. "Did you eat?" 

"Yes." Cass flipped through the movies. 

"What did you eat?" 

"Food." 

"Cass." 

"Mark." She mocked back at him.

"Fine be obnoxious." He walked into the kitchen and whispered to Jen who was getting more drinks. "What did she eat?" 

"I can hear you Mark." Cass laughed from the living room. 

"Mark leave her alone and get me a beer please." Joellen called from the armchair. 

Jen just shook her head at him and handed him two beers. "Spaghetti." She whispered to him. 

"Hey let's watch this one." Leslie held up a tape. 

"Eww. I wanted to see that." Jen said. 

"Me too." Cass took her drink from Jen as she sat between Cass and Leslie on the couch. 

"Oh great." Joellen said unenthusiastically. 

Mark put the tape in and settled in on the floor at Joellen's feet. "So has he called yet?" 

"He's not supposed to call till after the show. But he was going to play through the sound check." 

"Wow I wish we could have gone to see one of the shows." Jen said. 

"Oh that would be fun. We can't go for a ten-minute subway ride, can you imagine two hours on a train. She'd turn Kermit the Frog green and be puking the whole way." Mark laughed.

"Change of subject please." Cass announced. "Start the movie." 

Grinning, Mark started the movie. After it ended Leslie got up to go home. "Okay, I'm going to bed. Are we doing brunch tomorrow?" She asked. 

"Uh huh." Jen told her. "I guess up her as usual. Say 11:30ish Mark?"

"Yeah sounds good. What are you cooking?" 

"What if I say nothing, I'm making you cook?" 

"Then I'd tell you to bring cereal." Mark laughed. 

"Okay I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow. Buy Joellen. You joining us for brunch?' Leslie asked. 

"Ah, I guess." 

"Okay see you guys tomorrow." With that she left. 

"Put the other movie in Mark." Jen told him. 

"Okay, which one do you want?" He held up two tapes. Mark put the film in and he started it. He got up and got the blanket from his room and brought it back, handing it to Joellen. "Cass are you warm enough?" 

"Uh huh." She said sleepily. Pulling the blanket she had before up to her chin. She settled into the corner of the couch. Before she knew it, Mark was waking her up. 

"I fell asleep again? Am I gonna be this tired for the rest of my life?" 

"No, according to my mother it only lasts for about eighteen to twenty years." Joellen laughed. "And she had twins so she was twice as tired." 

"Yeah Cass," Jen joked, "wouldn't that be funny. I mean think about it. You're already surrounded by twins. Me and Jason, Joellen and Jolene, not to mention the Siamese ones." She chuckled. 

"What?" 

"You know Siamese twins, Mark and Roger, attached at the hip." 

Even Joellen found that funny. "Yeah wouldn't it be funny if you had twins?" 

"That is about the most unfunny thing I have ever heard." 

"Sweetie why don't you go to bed?" Mark asked her. 

"I want to wait for Roger to call." 

"Go to bed, I'll get you when he calls. Come on we're going to bed. Jen we'll see you tomorrow." Mark said standing up. 

As they went into Mark's room, Joellen fell onto his bed. "You know, I thought they would never leave and Cass would never go to bed. You have too many people hanging out here all the time." She grinned at him. "At least at my place it's only my sister and sometimes Andrew. And most of the time they're at Andrew's anyway." 

"Yeah well, there has just always been people hanging out at the loft. You got to remember," Mark told her, stripping down to his boxers and a tee shirt, "at one point there were five official people living here. That doesn't include various overnight guests and crashers." He hopped on the bed next to her, flicking off the light first. 

"Well that's too many people for me." She told him cuddling up close to him. "Maybe you could stay at my place more often."   
  
"That's possible." He grinned at her in the dark. "But I gotta stay her with Cass while Roger's gone." 

"Right. Of course you do." She said softly. 

****************

"Mark." Joellen nudged him. "Your phone's ringing." 

He leaned over her, groped around on the floor for the phone. "Hello? Ow, um sorry Jo. Hello?" He said sleepily into the phone trying to climb over Joellen off the bed. 

"Mark?" 

"Hey! Yeah, sorry. I like fell off the edge of the bed trying to get the phone." He grabbed his boxers and pulled them on. Picking up a shirt and pulling it over his head as he closed the bedroom door. "So? What's it like? Are you totally loving it? How was the show? Better yet how was playing the sound check?" 

Roger laughed at his barrage of questions. "Yeah it's awesome. How's Cass?" 

"She's asleep. She's fine. She hung out with Jen and Mo and Leslie and Joanne all day. I guess she's feeling pretty good." 

Mark walked to Roger and Cass' bedroom and quietly opened the door. "Cass." He said gently, shaking her shoulder. "Sweetie wake up." 

"Did Roger call?" She asked him in a sleepy voice.

"Uh huh. He's on the phone." Mark handed her the phone and sat down next to her on the bed, leaning against the wall and pulling the blanket up over both of them. 

"Hey." She said softly. "I missed you. Are you loving it?" 

"Yeah it's incredible. Trey's great too. I can't wait to actually play the show." 

Cass leaned the phone out so Mark could hear Roger as well. He told them all about it so far. All about the sound check. All about the band and the roadies and everything. 

While Roger talked Mark and Cass had slid down on the bed, the phone resting on the pillow. Eventually Mark fell back asleep. When Cass realized that, she took the phone and rolled over on her side. 

"I'm glad you're having a good time Roger. Is it everything you expected?" 

"Oh yeah! Definitely! But it's a good thing I never got the chance before though." 

"Why? What do you mean?"

"Way too many drugs. Way too easy. It wouldn't have been a good thing before." 

"But you're okay?" 

  
"Yeah. I'm okay. Got more to stay clean for now. But I wouldn't have been that good a couple of years ago I don't think." 

"I'm glad Baby. You going to be okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Except I miss you. A lot. Is Mark still on the phone?" He asked, all of a sudden. 

Cass laughed. "No he fell asleep a few minutes ago." 

"Oh. Okay. I was just checking. I do miss you though." 

"I miss you too. I want you back here, but I want you on your tour too." 

"I know Baby." He laughed for a second. "You know, one of these days I'm gonna have to stop calling you that. It's gonna get confusing."   
  
"Yeah I guess it might." She laughed. 

"Okay. Go back to sleep." He told her softly into the phone. 

"No I'm awake. I want to talk to you." 

  
"Liar." He laughed at her. "Go to sleep. I'll call you tomorrow night after my first show." 

"Okay," she yawned, "but I'm not really sleepy." 

  
"Right. Go to sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow night. I miss you."

"I miss you too Baby." 

"I love you Cass. Both of you." 

  
"You mean me and Mark?" She teased him. 

"No I don't mean you and Mark smarty. You know what I mean." 

"We love you too Roger. Goodnight." 


	59. 59

A/N Well here's the next chapter. Thanks to everyone who has been faithfully reviewing for me. I'm so glad you guys are liking this, especially because I think I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome from typing it! Oh well, it's worth it!

Just to let you all know, it may be a little bit before I can update again. We are moving on Monday June 2, 2003 so I have to unhook my computer today. It may be two or three weeks until I get Internet access again. I have a lot already typed, so once I'm back on the net, I can update right away!

Don't forget me while I'm gone!

~Kelby

Chapter 59

"Tell me again what Izzy said Cass." Jason asked as they rounded the corner to the Iguana. 

"He said wear jeans because he had tee shirts for all three of us." 

"He did say tee shirts right? The word costumes never came up? Right?" Mark asked hesitantly. 

"Yes. Tee shirts. God it's Halloween. Where is your sense of adventure? From Mark I'm not surprised that much, but Jason I expected more from you." She poked him in the ribs as she spoke.   
  
Mark groaned as they walked in. "I'm gonna hate this I know it." 

"Hey!" Izzy called to them. "Great, you guys are here. Yeah Jason I really appreciate this. I'll run you through the basics of where everything is. Cass has done beers with Roger a few times. She pretty much knows where stuff is and how much. And anything special anybody wants that you don't know how to make either grab me or Dave or tell them we don't have it." 

"If you and Dave are both bartending what do you need me for?" Jason asked him. 

"I need you to be backup bartender for Dave. "I'll help some too, but I gotta mainly help bounce tonight. Full moon on Halloween, it's gonna get crazy. Mark you mainly gofer tonight. Cool?" 

"Sure Izzy." Mark told him.

"Okay I figured you guys could pool tips, plus $50 bucks cash. Deal?" 

They all nodded as Krystal walked over with a box, followed by Dave, the other bartender and two of the waitresses. She sighed before she spoke. "Okay, before I open this box, let me just say, none of this was my idea. I do think it is somewhat cute, but not my idea at all." 

"Oh God. Izzy what did you do?" Dave groaned. 

"Here!" He was too excited to wait any more and opened the box. As Krystal started pulling out bags with everyone's name on them. 

"Does Jason get Roger's?" She asked him. 

"Um yeah. I ordered them like two days before I found out he wouldn't be here, but it still works with the theme." 

They opened their bags and Cass started laughing immediately. 

"Oh Iz this is too funny. Roger may almost be sorry he missed this." She said holding up her tee shirt.

"Oh don't tell me." Mark said looking at Jason holding his up as well. "If Jason's got Batman, and Cass has Batgirl," he paused as he opened his bag and pulled out the yellow and red tee shirt, "then I end up as Robin." 

"Cool! Green Lantern!" Dave exclaimed, pulling his on. 

"Yeah that was more exciting than Aquaman. The girls get to be the Wondertwins an me and Krystal, well it's my bar!" Krystal just sighed again as Izzy grabbed the edge of the white button up shirt he was wearing, ripping it open to reveal the giant S under it. 

"He's been doing that for three days now. He made me sew on fake buttons and velcro so he can reclose his shirt and redo it Clark Kent style." 

"What about you?" Cass asked her, laughing. 

Krystal rolled her eyes as she held up her shirt. "Wonder Woman." 

"Yeah and don't forget the bracelets Krystal, I paid extra for those." 

"Yes Izzy." She patronizingly told him. 

"Okay, let's go to work!" Izzy said excitedly.   


They changed into their shirts, finished setting up and let Krystal take pictures as people started filing in. 

Izzy leaned against the bar, watching people as they ordered drinks and the band started to play. 

"So did Roger's leaving really screw you up Iz?" Cass asked him, filling a pitcher. 

  
"Naw, not really. We weren't playing tonight anyway. I would have needed him more behind the bar. Plus he wouldn't do it anyway. Stubborn fuck." 

"That I know, but why wouldn't he play tonight?" 

"You know Roger." He shrugged. "We start talking about all the usual corny Halloween type stuff and he tells me 'we're not playing that crap!' Amazing how supposedly this is my band. Then he goes into this whole spiel about music and art and talent and true rock and roll. And how it's bad enough we cover so much crap. Yada, yada, yada. You know, Roger stuff." 

She smiled at that. Cass could just picture that whole conversation. 

"Can't blame him I guess. He's so into it. It's really just a hobby for me and he knows it. That's the only reason I let him act like that. So you talked to him?" 

"Every night." She beamed. "He's loving it. He said he's writing a lot too. Getting a lot done. He seems to really like your cousin too." 

"Yeah I talked to Trey. He said he really liked what he heard on that CD of us. Especially Roger's songs. I knew he'd love working with Trey. I'm glad he went. It'll be good for him."

Cass just looked at him for a second. Almost studying him. She didn't know what it was about Izzy and Roger. It wasn't like they were close friends like he and Mark. They were just good friends. As least as far as Roger realized. She just felt like there was almost something more with Izzy. 

Izzy had put up with a lot from Roger over the years. And through it all, Izzy never let Roger down. The job. Basically letting him run the band. Working around his doctor's appointment. Always kinda keeping him floating. And now this, with Trey. 

She watched Izzy as she spoke about Roger. He had a look of almost pride on his face. There had to be something more she didn't know or understand about Izzy and Roger. Maybe someday she'd find out or understand. Either way she was glad Roger had had Izzy all these years. 

Cass smiled at him. "Izzy thank you." 

"For what?" 

"Everything you've done for him. The tour. The band. The job. Everything. Thank you. For him and for me thank you. Really." 

***********

Roger opened his hotel room door and motioned Trey into the room while still talking on his cell phone. "Baby I know, but you got to eat something." He pointed at the chair for Trey to sit down. "I know Baby, but it's only gonna get worse if you don't eat something." He picked up a soda, offering it to Trey. 

"What if I have Mark go get you some soup from that place you like? Would you eat that? I'll have him get you some coffee ice cream too." He listened to her for a second. "Okay Baby I'll have him do that. But you gotta promise me you'll eat it. Please?" 

Trey watched the grin spread across Roger's face. He knew he had to be talking to his girlfriend. He picked up the sheet music Roger had been working on off the bed near his guitar. He started to read through it while waiting for Roger to finish. 

"Okay, I'll call him and have him get you some. Get some sleep and I'll talk to you later, okay?" She must have said something that annoyed him, because Trey watched his eyebrows knit together. "I don't care what kind of computer problems that ass is having. He'll get over it. You work too much. I don't like you working for him anyway." 

After a second he calmed down. "I know. I'm sorry. I miss you too Baby. Call me later when you wake up. I'll call Mark and have him get you some soup. I love you Baby. Bye." He hung up the phone and sat down on the bed across from Trey. "Sorry." He told him. 

"Don't worry about it. Your girlfriend?"   
  
"Yeah." Roger beamed. 

"She sick?" 

"Um, yeah. Sort of." Roger got back up as he heard someone knocking on his door again. 

"Rog you seen Trey?" Scott the drummer asked as Roger opened the door the rest of the way, revealing Trey in the chair. He let Scott and Brad the bassist in. 

"She going to be okay?" Trey asked Roger. 

"Who going to be okay?" Scott asked, walking in. 

"Roger's girlfriend is sick. What's her name? Kate?" 

"Cass." Roger corrected him. "Yeah, she'll be fine in awhile." 

"Like in nine months?" Brad joked, picking up the yellow _Pregnancy for Dummies_ book from the dresser and holding it up for Trey and Scott to see. 

"Um, yeah." Roger took the book from him, tossing it on the bed. He could feel his face getting hot. "Actually more like six and a half months at this point." He grinned. 

"Wow, that's really cool! Why didn't you tell us?" Trey asked. 

Roger just shrugged a response, picking his guitar back up as he sat back down on the bed. 

"Cool." Brad said, looking at his watch. "Look, seeing as we are off tonight we were going to go for food. Walk over to the mall across the street. You want to come with?" 

"Yeah, I could do that. I just gotta make a call first." 

"Trey?" Brad asked and Trey nodded. "Cool. We'll meet you guys in the lobby in like ten minutes." With that Scott and Brad left. 

"So I came down to talk to you about some of the stuff I heard on the CD you and Izzy made. You've got some good stuff." 

"Me and Izzy?" Roger laughed.  
  
"No." Trey laughed, shaking his head. "Izzy's a total hack. I meant your stuff. Izzy sucks and he knows it. He just likes to have fun. But you're good Roger. Real good." 

"Thanks."   
  
"So yeah, I want to talk to you about some stuff. Maybe later tonight?" 

"Sure. No problem." Roger pulled his boots on as they spoke. 

"Okay. I'll see you down stairs in a few. Hope your girlfriend feels better." 

  
"Thanks." Roger picked his cell phone back up and dialed Mark as Trey closed the door behind him. 

"Hello?"

"Hey it's me." 

  
"Roger! What's going on? Where are you? Is everything okay?"   
  
He could hear the excitement in Mark's voice and he knew it was mixed with worry because he was calling at this time of day. "Yeah I'm fine. What's going on with Cass? Why aren't you feeding her?" He asked in a stern voice to tease Mark.

"What? Of course I'm, oh." He realized Roger was picking on him. "I guess you talked to her?" 

"Yeah, about ten minutes ago. She asleep yet?" 

"I guess. I was just in my room a few minutes ago and she was. She's got a nasty migraine again. Making her throw up a lot. She was laying in my bed watching TV." 

"Yeah I know, I talked to her. She promised me she'd eat if you got her some soup from that place she likes. And ice cream. Coffee flavor of course." 

"Of course." 

"So what's going on, is she not eating at all?" 

"Well," Mark sighed into the phone. "It's the same sort of thing again. She feels like crap, throws up, then doesn't feel like food or can't keep it down. So then she gets a migraine which makes her throw up more. Which makes her not want to eat. Which of course makes the migraine worse. And so on and so on. You know, vicious cycle."

"Yeah I know. Did you call her doctor?"

"She's as stubborn and mule headed as you, what do you think?"  
  
"I'll take that as a no. Anything else?" 

"Yeah her nose won't stop running and it's making her crazy. The book said that's normal, but it's probably not helping her stomach any, draining down her throat like that." 

"Anything else?" 

"Well, she just feels crappy and has cramps sort of. I mean her stomach's upset and all, but she has got too. The book said that was normal too though. Something about her uterus stretching or something." 

"Yeah I read something about that too but she's okay?"

"Yeah. She said it's more dull and annoying than anything. I got to tell you Rog, I learned way more than I ever really wanted to know and I haven't gotten past month five in the book yet."

He just started to laugh. "Just wait, it gets better! Remember how Ginny was joking about wait till we find out what a mucus plug is? Well I found out." 

"What is it?" Mark asked hesitantly. 

"Trust me, you don't want to know." 

"I'll take your word on it." Mark laughed back.

"So what's wrong with her computer?"

"I don't know. Something's wrong. Her father called and they argued some. So far, since yesterday I've heard her argue with people in English, French, and Italian. She's been working a lot. Like all night because of the time difference. I'm sure that's not helping her any." 

"What'd her dad want?" He asked with concern. 

  
"Work stuff. It was purely an icy cold work call. Only reason I knew who it even was on the phone was because I answered it. She could have been talking to some moron in customer support instead of her father from the sound of it." 

"Oh."

"He, ah, he still doesn't know, does he?" 

"No. And she's got no intention of telling him anytime soon either. What did he say when he called?"   
  
"Just who it was and he wanted to talk to Cass. They still only have the apartment phone number. She never gave them her cell phone." 

  
"Yeah I know. Her cell isn't even registered in her name, it's under yours. That way they can't find it as easily." 

"Oh. Well other than that she's okay. She talked to the contractor. He's getting all the permits and they should be starting across the hall by the end of this week." 

"That's good. When will they be done?"

"He said livable by Christmas with some finishing touches needed like paint and carpet and stuff." 

"Great. Anything else?" 

"Nope. She's been sleeping in my room with me though. She says she's cold and lonely." 

"Oh that must be thrilling Joellen to death. She still mad at you for the night I left?" 

"Naw, she's pretty much over that. Of course currently she has no idea your girlfriend has been sleeping with me in my bed. Probably better off if we keep that quiet, but I figure if you don't get upset, why should she?" 

"That's twisted logic Mark." He laughed. "And Joellen doesn't quite understand the twisted relationship you and Cass and me have anyway." 

"Yeah I know, no big deal. Anyway, I wish there was something I could do to make Cass feel better." 

  
"Well, getting her to eat will help her a lot."

"Maureen and Jen are trying to talk her into getting acupuncture." 

"Ewww! If she does, you're taking her. I don't want to see that. But if you rub the back of her head sometimes that helps." 

"Okay. Anything else work?" 

Roger laughed into the phone. "Yeah there is one more thing that helps some, but if I find out you did _that_, you're in big trouble buddy!" 

"Huh? Oh! Right got ya, yeah no worries there. I'll get her soup and ice cream and leave it at that." 

"Good idea Mark." He laughed. "Just promise to make her eat. And if she gets worse you'll call the doctor." 

"No problem."

"And call me if anything else happens I can be there in a few hours." 

"You got it." 

"Okay I got to go. They're waiting for me." 

  
"Okay. Bye Roger." 

"Mark?"

"Uh huh?"

"Thanks." 

"No problem." Mark hung up the phone. 

*********

Quietly Mark opened his bedroom door and went in. He started to get undressed for bed. 

"I'm awake, you can turn on the light if you wan t Mark." 

  
"Sorry. Did I wake you?" He flipped on the TV for light. 

"No I woke up a little while ago." 

"Do you feel better Sweetie?"   
  
"Somewhat. I guess eating helped some." 

"I told you it would. But don't listen to me or anything." He teased her. "Of course Roger can tell you the exact same thing and it's like God himself has spoken." 

"Oh don't be so dramatic!" She laughed rolling close and cuddling up next to him, kissing his forehead. 

Mark threw an arm over her to keep her warm. "Roger's right. This whole thing is twisted." 

"What's twisted?" She asked, rolling over and facing away from him.

He started to rub the back of her head. "This whole strange relationship you, me and Roger have." 

She understood exactly what he meant. "Marky are you okay with all of this? Me and him and all?" 

"Yes. For the zillionth time. Yes. I'm really happy you guys are happy together. You deserve it. Both of you." 

"Okay, as long as you're sure. Your know I love you Mark. He does too." 

"I know." He sighed. The thought that had crossed over his brain so many times over the years floated to the top again. He couldn't stop his mouth from asking it. "Cass, can I ask you a question?" 

"Anything Sweetie." 

Mark hesitated, and when he did speak, his voice was slow and soft. "Cass, why didn't you ever come back?" 

She knew he might ask her that someday. She had always known that. But that didn't mean she would ever have been able to come up with an easy answer. 

"Cass?" He asked her again softly when she still hadn't said anything. 

"I, I don't know Mark." She said looking away. After a second in a barely audible voice she spoke again. "That's not true. I know why." 

  
"Well, why?"   
  
"I was scared. And hooked. And I knew you'd make me give it all up if I came out here. But Paulie…" she trailed off for a second an Mark listened. "And then after, I wanted to, I really did Mark, but I was scared. And stupid and, and I don't know Mark." 

"Scared of what Cass?" 

"If I had stayed the first time Mark, what would that have done to you and Roger?" 

"I don't know." He shrugged. 

"Or me and you? I mean we were great then, but would that have been enough? If I had stayed, and Roger moved in. And April moved in. You know me, do you really think I wouldn't have ended up with them? And what would that have done to you? Watching Roger alone almost killed you." 

"So that's why you stayed away? For all those years? To protect me? I don't buy it Cass?"

"Well in hindsight that seems like why. But I don't know. What was I going to do? Wipe my nose and hop on a plane? Come ruin your life too?" 

"Cass you never could have done that. I just wish you would have stayed, or at least come back. And not just for me. God I would have loved to have you back here. But for you. So you wouldn't have had to go through all you had to go through. You know I would have given up all that we had, or could have had to keep you from having to go through all of that." 

"I know Mark." A tear slid down her cheek, running off the tip of her nose. "I'm sorry." 

"It's okay sweetie. I just wish I could have changed it all for you." 

"But you can't and you couldn't have. And if it would change anything we have now, I wouldn't have wanted it changed." 

"But…"

"No, no butts. What we have is great. I wouldn't want to give it up for anything." She paused for a second. "You know I've always loved you right Mark?" 

"Yeah I know." 

"I love Roger too." 

"Yeah, I know you do and I'm glad for that. You guys really need each other right now." 

"I'm glad you're here with me Mark. I miss him." 

"Yeah me too. I still can't believe he's gone on a tour." 

She laid there silently for a second. "Someday he won't come home will he Mark?" 

"No, he won't." He said barely above a whisper. He stopped rubbing her head and just held her close. 

"I'm really glad you're here Mark." 

"Me too sweetie. Me too." He picked up the remote and clicked off the TV. They just lay there like that till they both fell asleep.


	60. 60

A/N Yeah!!! I am finally back on line! We have moved to Warner Robins, Georgia (home of Robins Airforce Base – the husband's new job!) and we are finally all settled in to the new house and our internet service finally got hooked up today! I was a little worried, the husband's computer went up no problem, but because we now have wireless internet, the guy had to add something to my computer and wasn't even sure at first if it would work! He politely called my computer a "classic." But thank god, here I am! I have missed all you guys, your reviews and your stories so much! So glad to be back on online.

Because it has been so long, I'm going to give a recap of where everything stands and who everyone is. 

Currently, Cass is pushing three months pregnant. Roger is on tour as a temporary fill in guitar player for two weeks, leaving Cass and Mark home alone. 

To recap all the characters (if I forget anyone, or if anyone has any questions, just ask.)

Jason – Collins boyfriend, teaches art at a local college. 

Jennifer – Jason's twin sister. Lives downstairs on the second floor. 

Ginny – Old friend of Mimi's from the Cat Scratch Club, lives in her old apartment on the third floor. She is in her last semester of nursing school and works as a stripper to support herself while still in school. 

Leslie – Lives next door to Ginny. She is very quite. 

Izzy – Owns the Iguana, the bar where Roger works and supposed it's his band Roger plays in, but Roger really runs the band. 

Krystal – Izzy's long time girlfriend. She teaches fourth grade and works at the bar. 

Trey – Izzy's cousin. Has an up and coming band. Currently they are the opening act for a bigger name on tour. One of their back up guitar players had to do community service that is how Roger got the job for the two weeks. He really likes Roger's songs and was talking to him about them in previous chapters. 

That should do it for now. I'll recap more as we come to more people. 

Chapter 60

"Mark?" Collins called as he walked through the door.

"Hey." He walked out of the office. 

"Hey. Cass said I could use the computer to type up my final exam. I hate using the department one." 

"Yeah, come on in. She's taking a shower. Want a soda?" 

"Sure. How does she feel?" 

"Crappy. She's been throwing up all day again. I can't get her to eat anything again either. And her computer's making it worse I think. She's having major computer problems I guess." He handed Collins a soda. 

"Am I going to be in her way?" 

"Naw, she'll put you on the play computer as she calls it."

Just then Cass came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of Roger flannel pants and Mark's sweater with her hair in a towel. 

Mark looked up as she came out. "You feel any better Cass? You want some food?" 

"No, the last thing I want is food. My head is killing me." She squeezed her eyes shut as she said that. "Hey Collins." 

"Hey sweetie. You sure you don't mind me using a computer to type this up? I could probably use Jen's if I need to." 

"Huh?" She looked up from where she had started hitting keys. "No it's fine. Work you no good piece of industrial crap!" She hit a few more keys. "Okay you no good mother, frigging son of a … you better work now or I trade you in for a dishwasher!"

Cass stood up. "Yeah. Mark can get you onto the other computer. Whatever you do, don't touch these two. Just let them run through their systems while I dry my hair. I'll cuss at it more later." She said disgustedly. 

"Oh okay. If you're sure." Collins laughed as she walked into the bathroom. 

Mark got up and opened the door letting in Jason. "Hey Mark. Collins here yet?" 

"Kitchen." He told him turning on the computer Cass lets them mess around on. He heard Collins and Jason talking in the kitchen. Sometimes they were as sickly sweet as Cass and Roger to listen to. God they were going to be disgusting to hear the first few days after he got home. 

Jason and Collins came out of the kitchen. Jason paused to toss his keys on the counter. "Hey Mark, you guys got a message." 

"Huh? Oh, um hit the button. I heard it ring early this morning before we got up and I completely forgot about it." 

Jason hit the button and the machine re-wound to the beginning. The woman with a heavy French accent began to speak, obviously to Cass. "Dis is Marguerite, I am looking for Cassiopeia." 

"That's the lady that like runs their office in France." 

The voice on the machine continued. As she spoke Mark got pale. The message got the attention of both Collins and Jason. Mark dropped down, the couch ended up under him as the message ended. 

"Mark are you okay?" Collins asked him from the barstool he sat on.

Jason stood by silently. He didn't know what to do or to say. He felt like it wasn't his place to do either. All he could do was stand there. 

Mark opened his mouth but no sound came out. Just then Cass came out of the bathroom. They all looked up as she came out. 

"What?" She looked at them. 

Collins was watching Mark, who wasn't moving and wouldn't look at her. Finally Jason spoke. "Um, you got a message on the machine Cass. From Marguerite?" 

"Ugh." She said with a fair amount of displeasure in her voice. "What now?" She shook her head as she hit the button. 

Marguerite began to speak. "Cassiopeia you received a telephone call form Dodge. He seemed necessary to speak to you. I would no give him your telephone number and he said he could no computer speak to you." 

Cass laughed a little as she shook her head. "That office would be lost without her, but God she can murder the English language. His name is Dodger, not Dodge. What did that ass do now?"

"He say to tell you," the voice continued. "He is very extremely sorry, and you need call him. He had a test and he have a illness? He told me in English, I am so sorry Cass. He say he has a, a virus? He say you need test and he very sorry. You call him yes? Have good day. You call me, I miss you." 

Mark had gotten paler as he heard it again. As she said the part bout the virus Cass jumped up. "No! I can't deal with this right now!" She quickly started moving to the computer trying to shut down the systems she had been trying to re-boot all afternoon. "That Fuck! I'm going to kill him if he did this!" 

"Cass…" 

She ignored Mark and just kept yelling punching numbers into the phone. They all watched her. Jason could see the color draining from her face as she hopped around and it was slowly replaced by a greenish hue. 

They heard the hello through the phone as Cass attacked the person at the other end of the line. "You Fuck! What did you do?" She kept punching keys. "Damn it! What am I supposed to do now Dodger! You Fuck! You had to go screwing around on me! What the hell is wrong with you?" She listened for barely a few seconds. "I don't give a fuck where you got it from! It is your fault. All you fault, especially if you gave it to me!" 

She took in a breath and was about to start yelling again, but stopped herself. "Okay. I'm not going to yell anymore. It's making my head hurt worse." Her hand went to her stomach. "Just tell me what you're going to do about it." She paused. "Yes you! You fucked it all up! You're going to fix. Because I don't feel up to spending the next 48 hours going through and rewriting a trillion lines of computer code!" 

Mark had been staring at the ground, Collins had been watching Mark. Jason was the only one really paying attention to Cass. At her last statement, something clicked. He listened to her tell this Dodger guy he had five hours to be standing in front of her or else.

He looked back at Collins and Mark, realizing what an everyday fact of life logic like they had right now had become for all them. That made him sad, which in turn made the whole scene funnier. He started laughing. 

Cass slammed down the phone. "God I so don't need this fucking mess right now!" She stormed into the bathroom slamming the door behind her. 

Jason kept laughing, Collins then Mark looked up at him like he was insane. "It's her computer. She's got a computer virus. That Dodger guy gave her a computer virus." 

I never even thought that." Collins said slowly grinning. 

"What?" Mark was confused. 

"Her computer Mark, she's got a computer virus. That's probably what's been going on the past day with her systems. That's all it is, a computer virus." Jason explained

"A computer virus? That's all? Just her computer?" 

"Apparently." Collins told him as some of the color returned to Mark's face. 

"Just her computer? Oh God, cause I thought, well you know."   
  
"Yeah," Collins shook his head. "I know. I thought that too." 

"You okay Mark?" 

"Yeah, I think so." 

"Okay. Listen we'll go down to Jen's and use her computer. Call us if you need us." 

"Okay." Mark told them from the couch. He sat there for a minute or two after they left. He could hear Cass throwing up in the bathroom. Finally he got up and got her a drink taking it to the bathroom. "Sweetie are you okay?" He asked softly. 

"No. I work for idiots. I have idiots that work for me. My entire system has probably crashed. My headache is worse and now I've got this stress like stabbing pain behind my left eye."

Mark could see she was almost in tears. All he could do was rub her back and sit with her. And he was more than happy to do that. After what had just been running through his mind, she could throw up all over him and he wouldn't care at this moment.

The term computer virus never entered his mind when he heard it. His thoughts immediately went to the other virus. The only definition of it Mark had come to know. The one that already claimed four of his friends lives, two of them already taken away. He didn't care if he sat on the cold bathroom floor the rest of the night now. 

Mark sat there for the next hour. Cass had her head in his lap and he just kept rubbing it for her. She shivered again and woke up. "Sweetie, why don't we go into the other room. You're gonna catch a cold laying on this cold floor." 

She nodded and got up, headed to the couch. Mark realized both his legs had fallen asleep, but he hopped on the pins and needles next to her on the couch. 

"What time is it?" She asked lying back down on Mark's lap. 

He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered her up. "Almost seven. You want something to eat." She shook her head. "You gotta eat something Cass." 

"I will later, I promise. I can't believe that idiot could be that stupid! He better be able to fix this. And now I have to call Carlton and Andre too. God this whole mess is making my head worse." 

"Well try not to think about it. Who is that Dodger guy anyway?" 

"Honestly? He's a hacker. He's good. Very good. But he's also very young and stupid." She shook her head. "I just have to wait till he gets here, talk to him, and we'll work it all out. Eventually, I hope."

"If you say so Cass." 

"Mark?" She said hesitantly. "Do me a favor and don't tell Roger about all this. Please?" 

"Why?" 

"He already thinks I spend too much time in front of that stupid thing. He'll just get upset and he doesn't need all that. Not now. Just let him finish up playing the tour. Please?" 

"Okay, if that's what you want I won't mention it." He won't like it, but I won't mention it he thought to himself. 

******************

At about 9:30 that night Mark heard a knock on the door. He opened it to find two skinny guys. Both looked barely legal and were carrying laptops and other computer equipment. 

"We're looking for Thena." 

"Who?" 

Cass sat up on the couch. "It's about time you idiots got here." 

"We're real sorry Thena. It was an accident."

"I don't want to hear it Dodger, just fix it." She snapped at him. 

"Nice place Thena." The second guy said sarcastically, looking around as he walked in. "When I heard you were moving to New York this wasn't what I was expecting." 

"Shut up Skee! There's the computers, there's the bathroom. You can order a pizza if you want, just fix it. And did you bring your passports, because you may be going to France."

"France? Why do we have to go to France?"

"Because I'm not! And you two idiots were the one that fucked this up! And for what I pay you two this never should have happened." She snapped. 

"Okay, okay. We said we were sorry. Let us just look at it. What's the matter with you anyway?"   
  
"I got a stomach thing. Just get to work." She got up and walked into Mark's room, flopping on the bed. "I still can't believe this is happening." 

Mark laid down next to her. "You head still hurt Cass?"

"Yes." She told him, her arm covering her eyes. 

"I'm guessing they don't know you're pregnant?"

"No and let's keep it that way. Let them think it's just a migraine." 

"Okay. So who's Thena?" 

"Me. Athena. Daughter of Zeus and Zeus alone. His favorite child. She sprang from his head full grown and in full armor. In the _Iliad_ she's a fierce and ruthless battle-goddess, but the rest of the time she is more of a protector. She's also supposed be the goddess of wisdom and reason and purity. What a joke all that turned out to be." She laughed. "God my head hurts." 

  
"You really need to eat something Cass." 

"I can't. I tried." 

"Well, try again. Either you eat something or, or, or I tell Roger!" 

"That's blackmail." 

"Yup. But it will work." 

"Fine. I'm gonna throw it up, but I'll try. Just don't tell Roger how sick I am. Deal?" 

"Okay. Deal."   
  
  
  
******************

"Okay so explain to me again who the two freaks sleeping in Roger's room are?" Jen asked. 

"Apparently some kind of computer hacker geniuses. They work for Cass. Or at least did. She' s already fired them three times today." 

"And they built a virus?" Collins asked

"Well what they said was they were trying to see how hard it was to do. Not that they planned on sending it anywhere, just to build it and try it out on an old computer they were going to rebuild anyway." 

"So in other words, they're stupid teenagers who got bored." Jason stated flatly. 

  
"Probably, I guess. Either way, they accidentally sent it out to Cass." 

"Man was she pissed too. I swear that kid's first word is gonna be fuck." Jason laughed. 

"Well I don't blame her for being mad. Those two have been working on the computer since last night. They're running something now. That's the only reason they're allowed to sleep. They've been working almost 24 hours." 

"Well luckily for Cass, and them, they built it to only go to one computer and then send to one specific computer. The two they were going to junk and rebuild. But they sent it to Cass by mistake. It's been searching her computer trying to access the other computer it is supposed to go to, but since that one isn't on line, it's just jamming up her one system. Luckily it didn't make it into the server of her main office system in France." Collins explained. 

Maureen came out of the bathroom. "Well she drank some of the soup at least. She's just laying in there on the floor." 

"God I feel so bad for her." Jen said. "Did that ginger tea Joanne sent her help any?" 

"A little." Maureen said. "She got it at one of those little Chinese herbal stores. Where you go in, tell them what's wrong with you and they just pull stuff out of drawers. Joanne said it was really a neat place."   


"Well, you guys ready to eat?" Collins asked. "Mark you want us to bring you back something?"   
  
"Naw. We actually have food believe it or not. I'll just stay here and figure out how to lie to Roger."   
  
"What do you mean?" Jen asked. 

"She won't let me tell him how sick she is or about her computer. Last night I got around the computer issue. And I sort of blew off the fact that she was sick again, but I doubt he'll buy it from me again. And you know he always knows when I'm lying to him." 

"You are a lousy liar Marky." 

"Not all of us can have that talent Mo." He told her. 

"When I do it, it's acting not lying." 

"Right." Mark laughed. "Go to dinner." 


	61. 61

A/N Oh it feels so good to be able to get back to typing and posting this! After a month you have no idea how much I missed being able to do that! Glad you guys are all still reading. Drop me a review to let me know who is still out there. And if you need anything clarified after all this time, don't hesitate to email me with any questions.

Chapter 61

"I know but this is different Collins!" Maureen said into the phone as she watched Mark throw up into the sink. "And Mark's sick too. They both got fevers. Maureen turned and whispered into the phone. "And she's got really bad cramps. Collins I'm scared and Ginny's not home." She told him barely audibly. She listened to him as she walked over to Mark putting her hand on his clammy forehead. He shook her away and walked back over to the couch lying down. 

"Okay we'll meet you there. Bye." She hung up the phone and walked into Mark's room. Returning a minute later she handed him his wallet, shoes, glasses and a jacket.

  
"What's going on?" Mark asked from the couch.

"We are going to St. V's hospital. Collins is going to meet us there." She told him walking into Roger and Cass' bedroom. 

"Hey don't you ever knock?" Skee yelled at her, pulling on a pair of pants.

Maureen gave him a disgusted look and then ignored him, just grabbing some stuff for Cass. She took it to her in the bathroom. "Mark are you ready?" She asked, dragging Cass along behind her. 

Mark just looked at him. He knew if Cass was going willingly, she was pretty bad off, and at this moment he didn't mind the idea of somebody giving him something to settle his stomach. "Yes." He stood up pulling on his jacket. 

"Wow, this is easier than I ever expected." Maureen commented to both of them. "That's probably not a good sign. Just don't either of you puke on the cab ride over. Please."   
  
"We'll try Mo." Mark said dryly. 

"Thena you leaving?" Skee asked, walking out of the bedroom. "We're almost done, right Dodger?" 

He looked up from the computer. "Yeah, final checks are running now. Should be a few more hours and you'll be all up and running." 

"Good. Finish it, then wait here. And don't touch or do anything. We'll be back soon." She put her hand to her stomach. 

"I don't know Thena, I told you all that health food crap was going to kill you one of these days." Dodger laughed. 

"Shut up! And I told you to quit calling me that! Just finish working. And don't answer the phone. Fuck anything else up while I'm gone and I'll feed you two idiots the Thai food we ate earlier." 

With that they left. Maureen got them a cab. Collins was waiting by the Emergency Room entrance when they pulled up. 

"Ewww." He exclaimed, looking at the two of them. "You're sure it's food poisoning?" 

Maureen shook her head. She wasn't cut out to play nursemaid or mommy. Mark was much better suited for that job. But right now, he was in no shape for either, and he needed her. She did kind of like that. "Well its either food poisoning or Roger managed to knock up Mark and now he's got morning sickness too!" She snapped at him. 

"Ha ha." Mark rolled his eyes. 

"Can we please not talk about that? Please?" Cass begged holding her stomach and squeezing her eyes closed tight as another wave of cramps passed over her. 

Collins grabbed her, scooping her up before he thought she would pass out. He put Cass into a chair and went up and got them registered, bringing back two clip boards he handed one to Maureen, who started filling out Mark's.  
  
After they were finished Collins took the information forms back up to the desk. He spoke to the triage nurse. Stressing how sick she has been all throughout the pregnancy and how different this was, especially the cramps. He knew he was being somewhat over dramatic, but it must have worked, as they were called in within about twenty minutes. 

After about two hours Collins came back out to the waiting room to find Jason and Jen sitting there. They hopped up as he came over. 

"What's going on? Is she okay? Is the baby okay?" Jen asked impatiently. 

"Yeah they're fine. Or at least they will be. Thanks." He told Jason, taking the coffee he handed him as he kissed him hello. "It was definitely food poisoning. They split something from that little Thai place over on 14th Street. I don't think any of us will be eating there again."   
  
"But they're okay?" Jason asked. 

"Yes. Cass is really dehydrated. That's why she was getting such bad cramps. Most likely she was already somewhat dehydrated just from throwing up from the migraine and the morning sickness. They have her on IV fluids and are watching her. They don't want to give her too much medicine because of the baby and all. They'll probably keep her over night. Just for observation."   
  
"That's good. What bout Mark? Where is he?"   
  
"He's in there. He was puking into a bucket being oh so tenderly held by Maureen. Actually, it was kind of funny." He laughed.

"That would be funny." Jason laughed also. "Nurse Maureen! Ha! So are they keeping him too?" 

"No, they'll release him soon I think. The main reason they'll keep her overnight is because she's pregnant." He thought back to Maureen's comment before about Mark and smiled to himself. 

"I'm sure her really good insurance doesn't hurt either." Jason said dryly. 

"No I'm sure it doesn't." Jen added. "So what do you want us to do? Stay or go?" 

"You might as well go home. Nothing you can do here. Cass was about to fall asleep before."   
  
"Okay. I'll pop my head in, check on her and Mark and Mo and then we'll go home." Jen said walking into the room, leaving the two of them alone." 

"You okay hun?" Jason asked him, concerned. 

"Yes. Just tired. It's been a long evening. I guess Maureen got a little freaked out at how sick they were. Ginny wasn't home and Mo kind of felt out of her league. She called Joanne in Washington who told her to call me." He sat down in the chair, facing Jason. 

  
"So yeah, sick Mark, very sick Cass, freaked out Maureen. Long evening." 

Jen walked back up next to him as Collins finished speaking. Her eyes got wide as she nudged Jason and motioned with her head towards the door leading into the ER. 

Jason looked up. "Uh oh. I think it's about to get longer." 

Collins turned towards where they were looking to see Roger storming up to the reception desk. "Great! What's he doing here?" He said standing up. 

"He doesn't look happy." 

"When does he ever?" Jason said. "Want me to stay with you?"   
  
"No. Why don't you guys try and sneak out the side door before he sees you. I'll take care of Roger." He walked toward him as they left. 

****************

"Look I told you I can't tell you anything. I'll tell her doctor you're here. When he gets a chance he'll talk to you." The nurse told Roger, obviously used to dealing with people like him.

He was about to start to argue with her again when he heard Collins call his name. He spun around and almost ran into him. "What's going on? Is Cass okay? Why the hell didn't Mark call me? Where is she?"

"Relax, will you? She's fine. They both are. What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be back till Sunday."

Roger ignored him and started to move towards the rooms Collins was near. "Where is she?" He snapped at Collins. 

"She's sleeping. Will you relax and stop yelling. Sit down, calm down and I'll tell you what's going on."   
  
Roger moved to protest, but he knew Collins held all the cards at the moment. He sat down hard and looked up at Collins. 

Collins had seen that look on his face before. That look of despair and defeat and fear. The same look he had on his face the whole time Mimi had been in the hospital. He hated seeing Roger like this. Collins sat down next to him. "She's okay Roger. Mark too. They just got food poisoning. That's all it is. Just food poisoning. She's going to be fine. She was a little dehydrated from throwing up, but she's fine. The baby too. So don't worry okay?"   
  
Roger had dropped his head into his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. Without looking up he spoke to Collins. "You're sure? She's okay?" 

Collins could hear Roger's voice quiver. "Yes, she's fine." He tried to sound comforting. 

Roger gave a huge sigh, wiping his eyes as he took his hands away from his face. "I just get home and there's two idiots at the loft. I don't know who they are. They don't know what's going on. Just that they are both really sick and Mo took them to the hospital and, oh God Collins I just… you know. First April and then Mimi and I don't know." He collapsed back into his seat. 

"I know. But she's okay. So are Mark and the baby. She's probably asleep, do you want to go see her?" 

He nodded, but didn't move. "I don't think I could take it if anything happens to her Collins. Mark either." 

"I know, but they're going to be fine."

"Why didn't Mark call me?" 

"Honestly, Cass wouldn't let him. She didn't want you to worry. Or to leave the tour early. Which reminds me, what are you doing home? You're not supposed to be here till Sunday." 

Roger got a slight grin on his face. "Actually, the lead singer of the group we open for is sick, so they cancelled tonight's show, as well as tomorrow an Saturday night. So as soon as they told us today, I grabbed a train and headed home. I thought I would surprise her. Guess I was the one who got surprised."   
  
"Yeah well, she'll be glad you're back. You want to see her?" 

"Yeah." He stood up. "Where is she?"   
  
Collins led him into the room. Cass was sleeping still. "Mark's over there." He pointed to the curtain separating the two parts of the room. 

Roger could hear Mark and Maureen quietly talking behind the curtain. He walked over to the side of Cass' bed. He ran a finger down the side of her face, trying not to wake her up. 

After a moment he turned around and walked over to the curtain. As he pushed it open Mark and Maureen looked up. 

  
Mark sat straight up in the bed as he saw Roger. "I, we, she's not, I mean she wouldn't let me, I mean, oh shit. I'm sorry." He fell back against the bed. 

"What, what are you doing her Rog?" Maureen asked meekly. 

"What? My best friend and my girlfriend end up in the hospital and I'm not allowed to come see them?" He teased Maureen. 

"Well no, I mean yes. I mean how did you know they were here?"   
  
"Relax Mo. I'm not mad. Anymore. Let's just say you owe Collins." Roger explained why he was home early and Mark explained who the two guys in the living room were. A few minutes later the nurse came in and checked on Mark. She gave him some forms to sign and a prescription telling him he was being released. 

"What about Cass?" Roger asked. 

"Who are you?" The nurse asked. 

"He's the father." Maureen explained. 

"Um, yeah." Was all Roger could say. He hadn't heard himself referred to like that before and it just sounded strange.   
  
"Well we want to keep her overnight just for observation. They should be moving her upstairs soon. Someone will let you know. Mr. Cohen you can leave thought."

"Um okay." Mark said looking at Roger as the nurse walked out. "I'll stay with you." 

"No, go home. I'm fine. Really."  
  
Maureen took Mark home and Collins went out to the waiting room to sit again. Roger sat down next to Cass' bed. Taking her hand that didn't have the IV in it, he ran his callused fingers up her arm. Still holding her hand, he leaned his head against the bed. 

Cass could feel his fingers on her arm as she started to stir. She opened her eyes and thought she saw Roger. Blinking she finally spoke. "Roger? Am I still asleep?"  
  
He grinned at her. "No Baby. You're awake." 

"You're home?" 

"Yeah, I'm home. I was going to try and surprise you. I got you flowers, but they're at the loft. How do you feel?"   
  
"Better. Lot's better now that you're home. I'm sorry you had to leave the tour early." 

"It's not your fault Baby. We had to cancel a few shows. I didn't even know you were sick until I got home. But I'm really glad you fell better. I really missed you Baby." He kissed her. 

Cass touched his face with her hand. "I like that." She smiled. "It looks really good." 

"Huh? Oh." He ran his hand over the goatee he grew while he was gone. "I forgot about that. You like it? That was supposed to be a surprise too."   
  
"I like it. I'm just glad you're here. Where's Mark?"   
  
"They let him go home a little bit ago. Mo took him home." 

"Are you mad at him?"   
  
"Why would I be mad at him?"   
  
"Because I wouldn't let him call you. I'm sorry." 

"It's okay Baby. Don't worry about it. I'm home and you and Mark and the baby are okay. That's all that matters." He told her, interlocking their fingers. 

"I love you Roger." 

"I love you too Baby."   
  
"I want to go home."   
  
"I don't think they'll let you, they want to keep you overnight." He brushed her hair out of her face. 

"But I want to stay with you."   
  
"Don't worry Baby, I'm not leaving you."   
  
She smiled as the nurse walked back in and kicked Roger out for a few minutes. He went out and sat down next to Collins. 

"So now that you talked to her, you feel better?"   
  
"Yeah, I guess. Man that still sounds weird. What Mo said, about me being the father. That just sounds odd."   
  
"Yeah." Collins laughed. "But you are. You should have heard Mo before. When I asked her how she knew they had food poisoning she said it was either that or, and I quote, Roger managed to knock up Mark too." Collins laughed. 

"Oh great." 

"Actually it is. I mean think about what she said." Collins said looking at him, realizing he still didn't get it. "She said too. Roger managed to knock up Mark too. Don't you see what that means?"   
  
"That Mo needs to go back to 5th grade health class?"   
  
Collins rolled his eyes. "No. She was implying how you already got Cass pregnant."   
  
"But I didn't." Roger was confused. 

"I know that." Collins was getting frustrated. "I know that, an so do you, and so does Maureen. What it means is, if your friends, who know the truth automatically think of it as yours, so will the rest of the world."   
  
"Hey, you're right I guess that's really good. I never thought of it that way." He grinned. 

"Cass Sullivan?" The nurse called out to the waiting room. 

Roger jumped up. The nurse explained they were moving Cass upstairs and after some argument, Roger was allowed to go with her. 

After they left, Collins called the loft. He gave Maureen an update and told them Roger would either be spending the night with Cass or getting himself arrested trying. With that he headed home to Jason and the end of this very long night.


	62. 62

Chapter 62

"Roger?" Cass whispered, tickling his face along the edge of his goatee with a chunk of her hair. "Roger." She whispered again. 

He got a small grin on his face as he brushed her hair away from his face as he rolled over an opened his eyes. "Mark! Get that damn camera out of my face!" He yelled, throwing a pillow at him. 

Cass, who was kneeling beside the bed right next to Mark, started to crack up as did Mark.

Roger sat up in bed against the wall. "You two are so not funny." 

"Oh you love us and you know it." Mark said zooming in on the still groggy Roger. 

"Uh huh!" Cass told him, crawling onto the bed next to him. "Come on you have to get up." She bounced up and down on the bed. 

"Yeah Rog! You gotta get up!" Mark said stepping onto the mattress and bouncing up and down. 

"Cut it out! Both of you! God you two are definitely spending too much time together." 

"Okay Grump!" Mark told him, stepping off the bed. "I'm going to try and sort some of that mess out."   
  
"Just go!" Roger threw another pillow at him. "It's too early for this. What time is it?" He laid back down, pulling her with him. 

"Early! It's almost 1:30! Nobody told you to sit around drinking with Izzy all night after you guys finished up!" She laughed at him. "Come home at five in the morning, drunk off your ass, thinking your gonna get some. Ha! Then complain about it being early. Now that's funny Davis." She teased him. 

"So did I get some or not?" He teased back, pulling her close.

"Ahhh! No you did not! As if you didn't know! Besides you stink like the Iguana."  
  
"The bar?"

"No the reptile dummy." 

"You're cute when you're annoyed, you know that?" He rolled her over, pinning her to the bed. "You want to hear something funny? I forgot about are temporary move to the second floor and walked all the way up to the fourth floor last night." 

"You're kidding! You were drunk off your ass!" She started laughing. 

  
"Don't laugh at me. I've lived on the fourth floor of this dump for a lot of years." 

"Hey we own this dump. Remember?" She sat up. "Well the good news is Mark and I got most of the rest of our stuff at least packed if not moved down here. The clothes, the few thinks from the kitchen, stuff like that. Everything else is bagged up to keep the dust out when they take down the walls in the old loft and after they start to sand the new drywall." 

"Cool, but it's going to be weird when it's done. What's left to do up there?"   
  
"Well, considering this place is so small in comparison, Mark and I are kinda on holiday from work for awhile. We had to bag up two of my computers and all Mark's editing equipment." She sat up in the bed. 

"Mark's gonna run a bunch of phone line and cable out the window later today. We got just about everything else done. We just need to move the TV and the couch, but we'll do that after you leave tonight.

Roger sat up. "No you won't. I don't want you moving anything else. Especially the couch down two flights of stairs. I can't believe Mark let you move all the stuff you already moved." 

"God Roger, I'm pregnant, not helpless." 

"Just don't move anything else okay?" He got up out of the bed. "I mean you just got out of the hospital. Just be careful. Please?"  
  
"Okay Baby, if that's what you want." She followed him out of the room. 

Mark was in the kitchen and he poured orange juice into a cup, sliding it across the counter to Roger who sat down on one of the stools they had brought down from upstairs. "What the hell are you doing making her carry all that crap down here from our place?" 

"I figured it was good for her. Later today I'm going to strap the couch on her back and have her bring that down too." Mark told him sarcastically. "Give me a break Roger, like I _let_ her do anything. Remember who we are talking about here please." 

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I mean she just got out of the hospital you know?" 

"Uh, yeah, I was in the hospital too. How about a little concern for me?" 

Roger laughed. "I got concern for you. If you let her do that again, I'm concerned I'll have to hurt you." 

"Okay, deal." 

"What is that?" Roger asked looking up at the ceiling. 

"Oh. I think its Ginny working out. She said us staying below her place was a great chance for her to show us how noisy we really are." 

"Well, deal with it." Cass said, wrapping her arms around Roger's neck. "We're just lucky this apartment vacated two weeks ago. Otherwise I don't know what we would do while the contractor rips apart our place. And besides, right now you only have to climb one flight of stairs and we get to live right next door to Jen!" She kissed him on the lips. 

"Oh joy we get to live right next to Jen and below Nurse Super Bitch." 

"And I get to sleep in the living room." Mark added dryly. 

"Yes but we also have heat and more hot water." She told them.

"Speaking of which, I'm gonna go take a shower." Roger told them. "You wanna come with me?" He asked her, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

Cass just gave him a look. "We don't have that much hot water Babe." She laughed. 

"Whatever." He squeezed her tight, kissing the back of her neck. 

"Um, Rog?" Mark started cautiously as Roger looked up. "Um, your mom called last night." 

"What did she do that for? She knows the band plays on Sunday nights?"   
  
"Well, um, I think that's why she called then. She wanted to talk to me." 

"For what?" He asked suspiciously. 

"Well, you wouldn't tell her if you were coming up for Thanksgiving or not, and it's only three days away, so she asked me. Wanted to know what I thought you would do." 

Roger's arms stayed around Cass, but now in a more protective way. "So what did you tell her?" 

"That I'd talk to you and you'd call her."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"Come on, it could be fun. We could go to Pub Night."   
  
"What's that?" Cass asked. 

"It's a bar that everyone who graduated from our high school goes to on Thanksgiving night. It's sort of a tradition." Mark explained. 

"Why are you so excited to go to Scarsdale all of a sudden Mark?"   
  
"Um, well, Cindy is going to her in-laws and my parents are going to my aunt's in Albany." 

"What Marky, I don't get to hear your mother call me everything but my name?" Cass laughed.

"So?" Mark looked to Roger. "What are we doing?" 

"I don't know Mark! Let it be!" He got up and walked back into the bedroom, dropping onto the bed. 

Mark and Cass exchanged looks before Cass followed him into the bedroom. "Roger? You okay Baby?"   
  
"Yes. No. I don't know what to do." He pulled her down on the bed next to him. 

"What do you want to do?" She asked, fingering the tattoo on his upper arm. 

"I don't know. What do you think we should do?"   
  
"It doesn't matter what I think, but I'll tell you what I think you think." She sat up some more, leaning against the wall. 

"What?" He looked up at her as he rested his head in her lap. 

"I think you want to go, but you're scared. Scared of what she'll say and think. Scared of what everyone will say and think." 

"Maybe." He sighed as he looked away. 

"But it doesn't matter what they think Baby. Because I love you. And Mark loves you too. And we know the truth about you. And if they can't see how great you are, then it's their loss. But either way I know you want to see her." She told him as she ran her fingers through his bleached hair that the roots had started to show through. 

"Yeah, I guess. But I don't know if I'm up for the whole family Thanksgiving thing though."   
  
"So you call her, tell her that, and go see her some other time alone."   
  
He sat up. "But I want you to come with me."  
  
"Well Baby I will, I mean when she was alone."   
  
"Oh. I don't know. Maybe it would be easier to just get it over with, see all of them at the same time." He laid back down. "I do want to see her. And I want her to meet you." He looked up at her. 

  
"Me too Baby." She told him as she lightly touched his cheek. 

"I guess we could go up for the day. Have real food. I did promise you Thanksgiving dinner." 

"Yup! You did. And you'd look awful funny trying to cook me a turkey in that little kitchen." She grinned at him. 

"Especially considering I have no idea how to cook a turkey." He laughed 

"Well that settles it then. You call her later and tell her. Right now, get up and take a shower. The baby's hungry and wants a tofu scramble from Life Café."   
  
"The baby does huh? I think it's you. No baby would ever want to eat something as nasty as that tofu scramble thing you get. Yuck!" He kissed her belly and then just stared at her for a second. 

"What?" 

"Nothing. You know I love you right?" He asked her. "It's just, maybe if we go, maybe we shouldn't mentions the baby just yet. Would that be okay?"   
  
"What ever you want Roger. You know I'll do whatever you want."   
  
"It's not that I don't want to tell her, I just don't know if I'm ready to do all that just yet." He told her hesitantly. 

  
"I know Baby. It's okay. It's going to be a big enough day without bringing that up too. I understand Roger. We'll do whatever you want Baby." 

"I love you Cass." He leaned up and kissed her. Both of you. Mommy."   
  
Cass smiled at him. "We love you too Daddy." 

********************

Cass heard the beeping of Roger's watch and tried to pull the pillow over her head. Unfortunately uncovering it only made it louder. "Roger. Roger wake up. Take your pills. And we need to get up." 

"It's too early." He tried to bury his face in her neck and hair.

"Uh-uh. You have to get up. You promised her. And me. Come on." She pulled on him. 

"Okay, okay." He got up and let her pull him into the living room. 

  
"Ewww. Good morning sleeping beauty." Mark joked from the kitchen. "You want some juice?"   
  
Roger mumbled something inaudible and dropped onto the twin mattress Mark was sleeping on in the living room.

"Here Baby, take your pills." Cass handed him the juice and his pills. 

  
"Come on Rog, wake up. We got to go soon or we'll be late." Mark told him. 

"Maybe this isn't such a great idea." Roger told them, as he sat up on the mattress and took his pills. "I mean you guys just got out of the hospital." 

"Two weeks ago Roger, nice try thought. Now get out of my bed."   
  
"You feel okay Cass. You look kind of greenish." Roger told her. "If you're going to get sick every ten minutes we should stay home."   
  
"Roger Jackson Davis I haven't thrown up in a week and you are stalling! Now get up!" She pulled at him.

After a tremendous amount of stalling they were finally ready to leave. Cass packed them a bag in case they spent the night. Mark picked up the bag with their stuff and handed Roger his guitar.

"Okay are we ready?" She asked. 

  
"Yeah, we got his pills, your vitamins and all our stuff. So let's go before he comes up with another reason we need to stay home."   
  
Cass laughed as Roger grumbled. He opened up the door. "Maybe we should go say goodbye to Jen."   
  
"Jen and Jason and Collins left last night. They'll be at Collin's parents house till Saturday." Mark told him. 

"We should say goodbye to Mo then."   
  
"She's gone too sweetie. She left for Washington yesterday. She and Joanne are meeting Joanne's parents at some Senator's house for dinner." Cass told him, pushing him out the door. 

"Yeah, I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that dinner party." Mark laughed. "Come on, you can sleep on the train." He told Roger. 

They finally made it to Grand Central Station. Mark bought the tickets as their train was coming in. After they got settled into their seats Cass turned to Roger. "Relax Baby, it'll be okay. And no matter what, Mark and I will be with you the whole time." She leaned in and kissed him. "And just think, this time I get to see something of Scarsdale besides the inside of our hotel room. Right Mark?"   
  
"Yeah I guess." Mark sort of laughed and felt his face get hot. 

Roger looked from one to the other. "Oh that's real helpful, both of you." He told them annoyed. 

"Sorry Roger." Mark laughed. 

"Sorry Baby." She kissed the knuckles of his hand she was holding. "Why don't you take a nap. Try and relax Baby."   
  
"Okay." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close, closing his eyes. Forty-five minutes later Mark was waking him up. He couldn't believe he actually fell asleep.

"Rog, wake up, we're there." 

He opened his eyes and looked out the window. It had been a really long time since he'd seen that train platform, but it still looked the same. 

"Thank God, get me off this train." Cass said. 

"You okay Baby?" He asked her. 

"You know, same old thing. Subways and trains are just not my favorite mode of transportation at the moment." 

"Okay let's go." Mark picked up the bag and helped Cass up, handing her backpack to Roger. "It's about six blocks, you'll feel better after we start walking." 

As much as Roger didn't want to get off the train at that moment, he wanted to make Cass feel better and he knew Mark was right. He wrapped an arm around her waist and walked her off the train to a bench on the platform. 

"We should have brought some crackers for you. Maybe the Deli Queen will be open. We might be able to get you some there, on the way." Mark told them. 

She could see the look of fear and worry in Roger's eyes. She swallowed hard and stood up. "I'm fine. Let's just go. I'll be fine by the time we get there. And remember Mark," she looked at him, "even if I'm not, just let everyone think I've got a stomach thing." 

Mark nodded and they slowly started to walk to Roger's old house. "God it's freezing out here. It's a lot colder than in the city." 

"Uh huh." 

"Baby, it's okay." She leaned up and kissed him as they rounded a corner. The further they walked the slower he got and the tighter his arm became around her waist. 

Roger stopped walking and looked at Mark. "This is a really bad idea." 

Mark stepped in front of him to keep him from bolting. He almost whispered in his ear he was so quite when he spoke. "Roger you can do this. I know you can." He just stood there for a second, looking into Roger's eyes. Mark knew in the old days there would have been no way he would have been able to stop Roger from taking off, if he had ever been able to get him this far in the first place. 

"Come on it's going to be okay." Mark looked toward Cass and Roger's eyes followed him. "Look, Cass is freezing, and we got to get her something to eat." He looked over Roger's shoulder. "Besides, it's too late. They already know we're here." 

Cass looked toward the house they were in front of just in time to see the curtains on the front window move.


	63. 63

Chapter 63

Mark finally gave Roger a little shove to get him moving towards the house. As they reached the front porch the front door opened and a man stepped out and closed the door behind him. He ran his hands over his arms out of either nervousness or cold. "It's good to see you Roger."   
  
"Hey Larry." Roger said, not meeting his eyes. 

"Look I'm really glad you're here, really. I just, I need to, look I don't want your mom going through all that hell all over again okay? You've got no idea how excited she is to see you. So for her sake I gotta know. You're completely clean right?" 

"Yeah," Roger answered softly without looking up. "I'm clean."   
  
"Mark?"

Mark looked at him somewhat disgusted for a second. He knew and completely understood why Larry had to ask, but hat didn't mean Mark had to like it. "Yeah Larry, he's clean. For like about five years now."   
  
"Good." He said to Mark before his eyes wandered to Cass. "What about her?" 

"Yeah her too." Mark told him annoyed. 

"Good." A grin spread over his face and you could see him relax some. "I'm really happy to hear that." He paused with his hand on the doorknob. "We're glad you came home Roger. Really." 

Not knowing what to say Roger just nodded and followed him in through the door, dragging Cass along by the hand. 

"Joanie!" Larry called into the house. "They're here!" 

A moment later a woman appeared it the doorway, followed by two others. "Roger!" She grabbed him and hugged him. "I can't believe you're actually here." She let go of him, stepped back some to look at him and grabbed him again. "God I can't believe you're actually here!" She started to cry. 

Roger never let go of Cass' hand as he hugged her back. "Hi Mom." 

"Well if it isn't my long lost nephew and his Siamese twin!" The younger of the two women in the doorway said. 

"Hey Aunt Cathy." Roger said, still being hugged by his mom. 

"Hey Ms. Tyler." Mark said as he stepped up next to Cass. "Hey Mrs. Hall." He said to the older woman in the doorway who was crying. 

"Hello Mark." She said wiping her eyes. "Joanie will you let go of the boy so I can see my grandson!" 

"Hey Grandma." Roger told her as she pulled him over to hug him. He finally had to let go of Cass as she pulled him into a hug. 

Joanie wiped her eyes and grabbed Mark. "I'm so glad to see you too!" She hugged him tight again before letting him go. "And you must be Cass!"   
  
"Uh, yes ma'm." Cass put her hand out, but Joanie ignored it and just hugged her instead.   
  
"Well we're very glad to meet you. And we're thrilled you guys are all here!" She stepped back but kept an arm around Cass' shoulder. "Here let me introduce you to everyone. This is my husband Larry. And my sister, Roger's Aunt Cathy and my mom, Olivia Hall, and I'm Joanie, his mom. But you knew that." She laughed hugging her again. "God I still can't believe you are all here!" 

"Joanie something is burning." Called a voice from the back of the house. 

  
"I'll get it." Cathy said walking away. "Why don't you guys go sit down Joanie?"   
  
"Oh yes! I swear my brain is just not functioning today!" She grinned. "Come on in, here put your stuff down and give my your coats. You must be frozen. Did you walk from the train? Roger is that your old jacket? I can't believe you still have that thing." She said as Mark handed her the old leather jacket Cass had been wearing. 

They walked into the living room and sat down. "Roger!" The young woman called as she ran across the room to hug him. "Oh my God you look so good!" 

"Hi Shelly." Roger said but wouldn't look her in the eye. 

"Hey," She pulled his chin up, "forget about all that stuff okay? I did. Please at this point I wish I'd never even had a wedding."   
  
"Shelly!"   
  
"Sorry Grandma 'Livia, I don't mean I'm sorry I married Patrick." She chuckled. "Most days. I mean I wish we would have skipped the wedding and just taken all the money my parents spent and put it down on a house instead."   
  
She looked back at Roger. "Okay?" 

"Yeah, thanks Shell." He told her as he pulled Cass closer. "Um, this is Cass." 

"Hey, nice to meet you." She shook Cass' hand. "I'm Shelly, Patrick's wife. And Patrick is outside filling up the firewood bin. You guys want something to drink?"   
  
"Actually can I use your bathroom?" Cass asked. 

"I'll show you." Mark said before anyone else could. He walked Cass up stairs as he heard the back porch door slamming, he figured it was Patrick, but he was more concerned about Cass than Roger at the moment. "You okay?"   
  
"Yes." 

"Liar. Look I'll try and find you some crackers or pretzels or something."   
  
She nodded her head. "Mark," she whispered, "he's okay right?"   
  
Mark grinned, "Yeah, he's doing great. I'll meet you downstairs." He went back down to the kitchen to find Cathy cooking. He could hear Joanie and Roger in the living room but he could also hear Shelly and Patrick arguing on the back porch. 

"Hey Ms. Tyler." 

"Mark you've known me practically your whole life, will you just call me Cathy."   
  
"Um, yeah, sorry." 

"So Mark, truthfully, he's good?"   
  
"Yeah, he's doing really good. Just about the best he's ever been." 

"And the girlfriend?"   
  
"Cass? Let's just say she's really good for him." 

She stopped stirring the gravy. "So are you Mark. Joanie knows that, and she really appreciates it. Really. We all know he wouldn't have made it this far without you." 

"Thanks." Mark could feel his ears getting hot. "Um do you have any crackers or anything?"   
  
"For what? We're going to eat in less than an hour?"   
  
"Um Cass is, well doesn't feel great. She uh, the train seems to make her sick. Crackers work great though."   
  
Cathy eyed him suspiciously. "Sure here." She pulled out a box from the cupboard.

"Thanks. Um do I want to know what that's about?" He pointed at the back porch where Shelly and Patrick were still arguing. 

"Well, we didn't exactly mention to him you guys were coming. We didn't know if you would show, plus Shelly didn't completely know if Patrick would show if he had advance warning." 

"Oh. Sorry." 

"Don't be. Joanie hasn't been this happy in years. And Shelly can handle Patrick." She smiled at him. 

  
Mark went back upstairs with the crackers. "Here Cass. Did you throw up?"   
  
"No, but I kinda wish I would, just to get it over with. How are things downstairs?"   
  
"With the exception of Patrick, surprisingly good. Let's go." They headed back down to the living room. Roger took her hand as they sat down next to him. Just then Patrick and Shelly came in from the back porch.

"Hey." Patrick said to him. 

"Hey." Roger said back. 

Shelly realized that was the end of the conversation and started to try and help. "So Patrick you remember Mark and this is Roger's girlfriend Cass." 

"Mpf." Was all he said. 

"So Cass this is Patrick, my happy little leprechaun of a husband." She shot him a look that said behave. 

"Roger tell your brother about the tour you were on." Joanie told him. 

"Forget the tour, tell them the other part. The really good part." Mark said. 

Roger shrugged. "I was a replacement guitar player for the opening act on tour with a pretty well know group."   
  
"But tell them about what Trey wants." Mark pushed. 

"The guy who's band it is, he want's to buy some of my stuff."   
  
"And his manager wants to see some stuff too." Mark added. 

"He wants to show it to his production house and label. He thinks Roger's real marketable as a song writer!" Cass joined in, excitedly. 

"That's great Rog." Larry said. "You still got the fender?"   
  
Roger nodded as Shelly nudged Patrick to say something. 

"So in other words, you've still got no real job, and Mark still takes care of your sorry ass. What about her? She another junkie, groupie girlfriend?"   
  
At that the commotion broke out. Shelly, Cathy and Joanie all yelled at Patrick at the same time. Roger was on his feet and in Patrick's face as the words left Patrick's mouth. He was followed my both Mark and Cass who were pulling him back from his brother who was being yanked back into his seat by Shelly. 

  
"Shut you mouth Patrick. You got problems with me fine, but you leave her out of it!" 

"I just want to know if this one's gonna rob us blind too!"

"Enough!" Larry said, jumping between the two of them. "Patrick shut up. Both of you calm down. I'm getting too old to be breaking up fights between the two of you!"   
  
They both sat down as Cass took Roger's hand again and looked straight at Patrick. "To answer your question I have never been either a junkie or a groupie. I was a cokehead instead. But after my boyfriend wrapped his car around a pole and I almost died that ended that. As for your other comment, even as a cokehead, I was good enough at my job to be able to more than cover my habit. Any more questions you would like answered?" She asked as coolly as if talking about the weather. 

Patrick didn't know how to respond to that. Mark loved it when Cass gave those little speeches. He remembered the one she gave Roger the first day she got here. The look on Patrick's face was so similar to Roger's Mark almost laughed out loud. 

"Gee just like the old days." Cathy laughed. "It's not a holiday in this family till either a fight breaks out or somebody falls off the roof."   
  
"I forgot about that." Shelly laughed. 

"Who fell off the roof?" Mark asked trying to move the conversation on. 

"Oh, Frank, that's my husband," Cathy explained to Cass, "decided Arron and Scottie, those are my boys, and Mickey should fix the roof and take the Christmas lights down last Easter. Well I don't know what happened, but they were listening to some game, there was some commotion and next thing you know, Scottie is on the ground." She laughed. 

"You know," Roger's grandmother started to laugh, "when I sent you girls to nursing school I never thought it would come in so handy with my own grandsons."   
  
"What did he do to himself?" Mark asked. 

Cathy shook her head. "I had to stitch his hand up." 

"Roger superglued my head once." Cass suddenly spit out. 

Everyone, especially Joanie and Cathy started laughing. Cass realized how strange that sounded and tried to explain. "I mean I had stitches, and one of them pulled and well, he superglued my head." She shrugged. 

Mark shook his head as Joanie and Cathy just looked at Roger and laughed. 

"Hey, I knew it would work." He told them. 

"You should for as many times as we glued you two back together." Joanie laughed as she got up to check on the turkey. Larry got up and followed her into the kitchen. He came back a minute later carrying a six pack of beer. He handed one to Roger, Mark, Patrick, Shelly and Cass who turned it down. 

"So where are Eric and Scott?" Roger asked. 

  
Cathy shook her head. "My insane husband and his wacko sons decide Thanksgiving weekend was a great time of year to go fishing. In Canada no less!" 

"Come on Cath, they invited you along." Larry teased. 

"Oh right, me freezing my rear off in some stupid cabin, cooking a turkey while they fish all day and come home stinking. I think not. And they invited you too Larry."   
  
"Freeze my ass off for some stupid fish? No way!" Larry laughed. 

Joanie came back and sat down taking a beer. "Okay give it another twenty minutes then we eat. Cass don't you want a beer sweetie?"   
  
"Yes, I mean no. I mean," she looked at Roger then back at Joanie, "I mean we brought wine." 

"We did?" Roger asked. 

"Yes. The last three bottles from that second case. If you want it with dinner we should open it now so it can breathe. It's red, but that's all we make, but it's a very good year." 

  
"What do you mean that's all you make?" Shelly asked.

"Cass' family owns a vineyard in France." Mark explained. "She's been drinking wine since before she could walk." He shook his head. "She can drink me under the table."  
  
"Oh that's hard." Roger joked. 

Cass heard Patrick laugh at that and was glad the tension had eased. "Well, maybe not that early, but I have a lot of wine experience." 

  
"So are you from France?" Joanie asked.

"I stayed till I was fourteen then moved to Los Angeles. I worked with my father there till I started traveling."   
  
"What do you do Cass?" Larry asked. 

"Computer research. My family has an investment company. I used to travel to locations, research different things. Mainly computer, some one on one." 

"Wow, that's exciting. The only place we ever go is Atlantic City." She said more at Patrick than Cass. 

Patrick rolled his eyes as Shelly continued. "So where did you go?"   
  
"Different places. France, Germany, Switzerland and Italy." Her voice trailed off on the last word as her free hand rubbed at her neck, looking for her lost necklace.

Roger squeezed her other hand. "Yeah Cass is like a computer genius and can speak French, German, Spanish and Italian. She's got lie a zillion IQ!" He smiled at her. 

"Then what's she doing with you?" Patrick said snidely. 

"You two behave!" Their grandmother told them sternly. 

  
"Let's eat." Joanie said, looking at her watch. 

*******************

They all moved to the dinning room and sat down at the table, Roger and Mark on either side of Cass. Roger opened the wine and poured Cass a glass as Joanie and Cathy put the food on the table. 

"God Joanie that's a tone of food!" Shelly told her pouring herself some wine and taking a sip. "Wow this is great Cass." 

She smiled as she sipped hers. "One of our best years. It's hard to find in the states sometimes. It only imports to upper end wine stores." 

"Wait I'm confused. You do computer research for a wine vineyard?" Patrick asked. 

"No." She smiled passing the mashed potatoes to Mark. "It's two separate things. See my great grandfather's family had the vineyard. They were old world money. He also had two sons, my grandfather and his brother. Well they made it through the war fairly unscathed, with the vineyard and luckily most of their money in tact. So my grandfather and his brother decide they need to expand, just in case. You know, don't put all you grapes in one basket." She laughed, scooping up sweet potatoes. "Sorry, family joke. Well, anyway they were very smart and lucky, at least in business." She paused and looked down at her plate. She felt Mark reach under the table and squeeze her leg. 

"Well a vineyard reaches a point, and once you get a wine master, it's pretty well set. So my grandfather and his brother got heavily into the investment end. After they died, my uncle took over. Carlton, that's my father, he works for my uncle. That's where I learned most of what I do." 

  
"That and the fact that you're a genius." Mark added grinning. 

"So you just travel around?" Patrick asked. 

"No I don't travel anymore. I actually cut back on a lot of what I do. I'm trying to get some side work instead. Move away from the family business. We'll see." She shrugged, sipping her wine. 

"So are you one of those 90 hour a week corporate types?" Shelly laughed. 

"Hardly," Mark laughed. "Not if you call getting up at ten, hanging out in boxers with her feet on the desk and being done by three in the afternoon." 

"Hey I work way more than that." She corrected him. "I'm up half the night sometimes." 

"Yeah, reading those computer soaps." Roger teased her. 

"And talking to Gia eight time zones away." Mark grinned. 

"Whatever." She smiled. "To answer you question, no I am definitely not one of those corporate types."   
  
"It sounds like you've been all over the world Cass." Larry said carving the turkey.  
  
"Pretty much."   
  
"Why don't you travel any more? It sounds like it would be fun." He added. 

Cass' right hand tightened on the base of her wineglass. Her little finger, which neither completely straightened out nor clenched up any longer, stuck out some from the glass. She realized these were the first people since she got to New York that didn't know or at least have an idea of the truth. Grateful as she was for that, it also made all the bad stuff come back to the front of her brain. She felt her hands start to shake as she put her glass back down. She felt Mark squeeze her leg again. 

Roger took her left hand and held it. "She got a better offer." He smiled at her. He saw her hands start to shake and saw her looking at her finger. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. 

"A much better offer." She grinned at him. 

Joanie just smiled watching them. "Do we have everything? I feel like I'm forgetting something."   
  
"The only thing missing is the other ten people I think you planned on feeding with all this food." Larry told her. 

"This is incredible. We haven't eaten like this in a really long time." Mark told her. 

"Don't you guys cook?" Grandma Olivia asked.  
  
"Sure." Roger laughed. "Cereal, frozen waffles, Ramen noodles." 

"Well that was always your cooking repertoire Roger." Joanie laughed. "Mark hasn't learned anything new since high school either huh?"   
  
"Traveling like you did you must be able to cook a ton of international food Cass." Shelly said. 

At that Mark and Roger started cracking up. Even Cass grinned some. "Cut that out." She told them.

"We try and keep Cass away from the stove." Roger explained, laughing. 

"Yeah, she really is a genius, but recipes calling for anything more than cereal and milk are somehow beyond her." 

"Hmf! See if I ever cook for you two again!"   
  
"Promise?" They both asked at the same time, making themselves laugh even harder. 

"Behave you too!" Joanie scolded them. "Leave that poor girl alone. Come on everybody eat. Cass is that all you want? Honey that's not much food for Thanksgiving dinner."   
  
"Oh um, I'm fine." She told her realizing she had been pushing her food around on her plate. Seeing all the food on the table had suddenly made her lose what appetite she had when they sat down. She looked at Roger quickly. "I'm, uh, a little skittish on food still. Mark and I got a bad case of food poisoning two weeks ago." 

"Yeah, we ended up in the hospital. They kept Cass overnight."   
  
"I see it's not affecting your appetite however Mark." Cathy teased him.

"Um, no. And surprisingly it wasn't from Cass' cooking either." Mark laughed. 

"No but you let her talk you into that tofu Thai crap." Roger joked. 

"Roger I told you, it was the restaurant, not the tofu. There is nothing wrong with tofu."   
  
"I ate that burger. Trust me, there is definitely nothing right with tofu."

Aunt Cathy just looked at him. "You ate a tofu burger? Mr. Picky?"   
  
"It was an accident believe me!"   
  
"Yeah, ruin my four year no meat run!"   
  
"You didn't eat meat for four years?" Patrick asked. 

"Well I've been a quasi vegetarian for years. But I gave up meat for lent one year and just stuck with it. I had to go back to fish and poultry though, it was too hard when I traveled." 

"Wow, that's impressive." Shelly said taking more gravy. "Every year I give up chocolate, every year I blow it." 

"Cass has been to the Vatican Grandma." Roger told her. 

"Really?"   
  
"Yes. We actually went to an Easter Mass. Way too many people. But it was the Pope." She said matter a factly." 

"The Pope! Incredible! You need to get that one to mass." She pointed at Roger. "I'm sure it's been years." She gave him a disapproving look.

"Yeah well. Pass the potatoes." 

She shook her head. "My grandsons, the alterboys!" 

"You were an altar boy?" Cass asked surprised. 

"Against my will and for a very short period of time. Pass the potatoes."   
  
"That one's hard to imagine." Cass said, pushing her food around. She forced another bite down and finished off her second glass of wine. 

"I still feel like I'm forgetting something." Joanie told them. 

"So Cass you work for your father?" Larry asked 

"Sort of. I have my own research department. I work for the company. He works for the company in LA and Europe. We both work for my uncle who's mainly in France now."   
  
"What about you mother? Where is she?" Cathy asked. 

Without looking up form her plate Cass told her. "She died."   
  
"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry."   
  
Cass shrugged as her hand went to her neck, looking for her lost necklace. "It was a long time ago."   
  
Just then the phone rang and Larry reached behind him to answer it. "Hello?"   
  
"Tell whoever it is we're eating." Joanie told him.

Cass looked from Mark to Roger. She couldn't believe how much Roger had relaxed since they got there. Everyone had. Even Patrick. She was really happy for him. He looked up and caught her smiling at him. She just grinned. 

"Who wants more wine?" Shelly asked. "Cass?"  
  
"No I'm fine. Thanks."   
  
"I don't think it will be a problem." Larry rolled his eyes. "I'll tell her." He paused to listen. "Okay, bye Mick."   
  
At that everyone looked up. Larry hung up the phone. "Mickey wants you to put some pie in the freezer for when he gets back."

  
"He called or that?" Joanie said. "Please, it's easier to buy a new one when he gets back. He'll never know the difference." She shook her head. 

An eerie silence fell over the table. "So, uh where is Mickey?" Mark asked realizing Roger wouldn't. 

"He's helping his father move furniture to Jack's girlfriend's house from her parents in Pennsylvania. He'll be back Sunday."

"Idiot." Patrick said, stabbing at his turkey. 

Roger just kept eating as if he never even heard his father mentioned. 

"So," Shelly said trying to change the subject. "You guys going to Pub Night? We are."   
  
"Yeah." Mark said. 

"I don't know." Roger said shooting Mark a look. "We have to take a really late train home if we did that. And it's forty-five minutes from here just to Grand Central. And Cass is kinda sick." 

"I'm not sick, I'm pr, pretty tired is all." She caught herself. "I just might need a nap before something like that."   
  
"So take a nap!" Shelly said. "Besides I thought you city living musician types were up all night anyway." She teased Roger. 

"Yeah well I didn't get out of the bar until after three and then someone got me up really early." He looked at Mark again.

"So you take a nap too." Shelly told him. "You guys should come with us. Stay here and go home tomorrow."   
  
"You can stay if you want." Joanie said quickly then looked at Larry. "You can stay in your and Mickey's old room. The two beds are still in there." She realized she probably sounded like she was begging.

"Could we? It would be fun." Cass asked him. 

"Yeah Roger." Mark looked at him. "It would be fun."   
  
"Uh, we don't have any way to get there Mark, remember? It's like the other side of town. It's not like we can take the subway."   
  
"You guys can ride with us." Shelly said cheerfully. "Right Patrick? Come on Roger, you should go. Right Patrick?"   
  
"Um, yeah, I guess." Patrick said, not overly enthusiastically.

"Cool. I mean it's not like we've got anything to rush home to but that tiny apartment. You're not working all weekend. Cass' computer stuff is all packed up. I didn't even get the cable line run down to the little apartment yet. And all our friends are out of town."   
  
"Gee Mark, we could clean up that mess in the living room. And what about your girlfriend?"   
  
"A- that mess can sit there. It's not like there's anywhere to put that stuff anyway. And B- I think Joellen has moved on." He shrugged. "So because my girlfriend dumped me, and because she blamed you for all our problems, I think you owe it to me to stay." He gave Roger the puppy dog face. "Please."   
  
"Yes, please Roger?" Cass joined in. 

Roger looked at the two of them and started to laugh. "Fine, fine, we'll stay."   
  
"Good!" Joanie said, excitedly. "You guys will all have a great time." She started to clean the plates and Cathy got up to help her. "Why don't you guys go in the other room. We'll clean this up, make coffee and have dessert in a little bit." 

"Do you want any help?" Cass asked through a yawn. 

"No." She laughed. "We have it."   
  
As they got up from the table Roger and Mark's watches beeped signaling 4:00 PM. Quickly they both silenced the alarms shooting quick looks at each other. Cass looked around and realized no one else noticed and smiled at Roger. 

Cass and Mark went into the living room and she sat in the big chair. Mark was telling Larry about renovating the loft when Roger came back from taking his pills in the bathroom. He pulled Cass out of the chair, sat down and pulled her onto his lap, kissing her neck as he did. She got comfy and whispered into his ear. "You okay? You take them?"   
  
He nodded and started playing with her hair as they talked. After a few minutes he felt her get heavier as her head tested against his shoulder. 

After about twenty minutes Joanie and Cathy came back in. "Who wants dessert?"   
  
"God not me! I'm too full!" Shelly told her. 

"Yeah Mom can we wait, the second half just started."  
  
"What's the score Patrick?" Larry asked. 

"They're up 21-7."   
  
"Yeah Joanie can we wait. You made a tone of food anyway. Beside Cass is asleep and your mom and Roger aren't far off."   
  
"Okay. Roger why don't you guys go lie down."   
  
"Huh?" He looked up. "Yeah maybe. Cass. Baby wake up." 

"What? Did I fall asleep again?"   
  
"Yeah. Come on." He boosted her up.

"Ug. God I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired." She mumbled. 

"Come on. He pulled her along. 

"You guys want some coffee?"   
  
"Oh God yes!" Cass said reaching for the cup she held and putting it to her mouth.  
  
"Forget it." Roger told her pulling her towards the stairs. 

"Roger I wasn't going to drink it. Just smell it."   
  
"With what your lips? Keep walking if you really want to go out tonight." They started up the steps. 

Mark started laughing as he took a cup. "I never thought I'd miss coffee." 

"What was that all about?" Cathy asked. "I thought you all lived on coffee?"   
  
"We do, or did. Cass doesn't drink coffee anymore. It gives her hives." Mark yawned. 

Cathy raised an eyebrow and shot Joanie a look. 

*****************

Cass came downstairs in Roger's flannel plaid pants. "Sorry. I really needed a nap though."   
  
"Roger still sleeping?" Joanie asked her. 

"Yes. He was really tired. He was at the bar really late every night since Sunday." She yawned, not fully awake.   
  
"Well the game is over. Can we have the pie now?" 

"Your brother is still asleep." Joanie told Patrick. 

"So?" He looked at her. "I mean, we can wake him up?" He tried, but realized she still didn't buy that. "Or just save him some."   
  
"Patrick you're pathetic." Shelly laughed. 

"We could just save him some pie." Larry said, hugging Joanie around the waist.

"Relax he's sort of awake. He'll be down soon." Cass laughed at them. 

"Cass you want some coffee?" Shelly asked. 

Mark shot her a look. "Yes, but I don't drink coffee anymore so no thanks."   
  
"You want some hot chocolate?" Joanie asked. 

  
"Sure." 

Joanie filled a cup with milk and handed it to her. "Put this in the microwave."   
  
Cass went to the microwave and popped open the door. "Ewww!" Her hand clamped over her nose and mouth as the smell left the microwave. 

Joanie looked over. "I knew I was forgetting something!" She laughed taking the bowl from the microwave. 

  
"Oh God. The brussel sprouts! I thought we escaped those this year!" Patrick said, making a face. 

"Hush Patrick. It's a tradition. And they are good for you." She said stirring the bowl. 

The smell got worse as Joanie stirred them up. Mark watched the greenish tint cross Cass' face. She set the coffee cup down and tried to nonchalantly leave the room and head upstairs. 

Cathy watched Cass rush out of the kitchen and up the steps. She looked at Joanie, but didn't think she caught it. "Okay let's toss the stinky veggies and move on to the pie. Cass go to wake up Roger?" 

"Um, yeah, I guess." Mark told her taking a large slice of pie. 

"You want some whip cream Mark?"

"Sure thanks."   
  
Cathy let everyone start in on their desserts as she got Mark concentrating on his stomach. "I don't know how you do it Joanie, you always made such good pumpkin pie. Maybe you should have made an extra one. You want some more coffee Mark?"  
  
"Thanks. This is really, really great. Believe me, I've missed your cooking."   
  
"Thank you Mark." Joanie said, eyeing her sister, not sure what she was doing. 

"Well we're all glad you guys came out Mark. How about some ice cream." She scooped some on his plate. "How long have you been living in the city?" 

"Three weeks after sophomore year of college." He told her with a mouthful of food.

"And when did Roger move in with you?" She picked up a plate. "Cookie?" 

"Um thanks. Oh I remember these. I loved these." He took a bite of cookie. "Yeah Roger moved in three weeks later. Been there ever since."   


"Wow. Long time." She poured him more coffee. "So Cass is what? Three? Four months pregnant?"   
  
"Three." He answered without thinking as he put a big bite of pie and whip cream in his mouth. As he lips closed over the fork he realized what he said. His eyes went wide and he just held the fork there, between his teeth. 

Joanie heard her sister ask the question and her head snapped up as well as everyone else's. The fork in her hand clanged to the plate as Mark answered. 

Mark heard Joanie's fork hit the plate and the reality of what he just uttered hit him. He closed his eyes tight. You idiot Mark! Roger's gonna kill you! 

Just then Roger and Cass walked into the dinning room. Everyone looked up at them. An eerie silence filled the room. Roger looked around. "What?" He asked grumpily as they sat down next to Mark who had a deer in the head lights look on his face. "What?" 

"I didn't meant to do it. Really. Your aunt tricked me with pie. Really."   
  
"What are you talking about?" He was confused. 

"They sort of know about, well, Cass being, well…"

"Knocked up." Patrick laughed as Shelly shushed him. 

"Oh." Roger didn't know what to say. He looked at Cass who bit her lip and looked down at the table. He took her hand and squeezed it tight. "Um, yeah. So, um, yeah, Cass is pregnant. Surprise!" He shrugged. "Pass the pie." 


	64. 64

A/N As usual, I have to thank everyone for reviewing and for reading. My husband calls me a loser geek because I get so excited about reviews, but he just doesn't get it! So thank you! Thank you all!

As for this part of the story, I have to tell you, this is another one of my favorite parts of the story. It's filled with a lot of, what else, drama! But it's fun drama! And there is one or two little surprises that will be happening in the upcoming chapters! Plus we get a little background on Roger's family. Which by the way I love. Thanks again.

Chapter 64

"I can't believe it!" Joanie said, getting excited. "You're really going to have a baby? I'm going to be a grandma! I can't believe it!" 

  
"Wow that's great you guys." Larry told them, obviously happy. 

Joanie was out of her seat and hugging Roger and Cass at the same time. "I can't believe it! You finally come home! And now you're gonna have a baby! My baby's having a baby!" She was bouncing around the room, over joyed. "I'm gonna be a grandma! Your gonna be an uncle!" She kissed Patrick on the head.

"That's so cool!" Shelly told them excitedly.   
  
"I can't believe it!" Grandma Oliva kept repeating to herself. "You're really having a baby?"   
  
"Yeah we are." Roger told them. "Now pass the pie. Please."

"How did you know?" Cass asked. 

"Aunt Cathy just asked Mark, out of the blue." Shelly explained. 

Roger looked at Mark who was trying to disappear under the table. "Really?" He said to Mark. 

"Cathy tricked me Roger really. She kept giving me food and asking me questions. It's not my fault! Do you remember your mom's pie?" He pointed at his plate, still covered in whip cream, ice cream and cookies. 

Everyone started laughing. "Oh leave him alone Roger, it's not his fault." Shelly said, sliding two big slices of pie in front of him and Cass. 

"But how did you know?" Cass asked again. 

"Couple of things, but the brussel sprouts gave you away." Cathy laughed. 

"So when are you do?"   
  
"Do you know what it is?"   
  
"What do you want?" 

  
"So you want to find out what it is?" 

"When were you going to tell us?" 

Cass just smiled as the barrage of questions flew. She couldn't get over how excited everyone was. She hoped Roger realized it too. Even Patrick seemed excited for them. She hadn't expected any of this in the least, but now that she was sitting here, listening to it, it was about the most wonderful feeling. Roger's whole family was excited and happy about her baby. No, their baby. Roger and Cass' baby. It was going to be part of a real family. With grandparents even. She couldn't believe it. 

"May 24th." Roger answered the question. "But how did you know?" He asked his aunt.   
  
"Roger, I've been a nurse for over twenty five years. Please!" She laughed. "Not to mention pulling information out of the twins by way of food their whole lives. Compared to them, Mark was a breeze." She laughed again this time joined by everyone but Roger who looked at Mark. 

"She tricked you with pie! You're pathetic Cohen!" Roger teased him. He actually wasn't mad, which really surprised him. Almost as much as everyone's reaction. He couldn't believe the whole day. How happy everyone was to see him. And now this. All of them actually excited to find out they were having a baby. Wow. His baby as far as he was concerned and his family not only cared, they seemed genuinely happy about it.

The rest of desert consisted of talk about the baby, with the occasional comment on the scariness of Roger as a daddy. Joanie was ready to run out and go shopping for a whole nursery set up the next day, but they managed to talk her out of it. For now. 

After all the food was gone, Shelly turned to Cass. "So you still up for Pub Night?"   
  
"Sure!" Cass told her excitedly. "But we didn't bring any club clothes. Is that all right?"   
  
"Oh please! The place is actually a dive!" 

"Yeah picture a larger, smellier, version of the Iguana." Mark joked. "It's worse than that." 

"Then I guess we're okay." Cass laughed. They went upstairs to get ready while Patrick and Shelly went home to feed their cats.

Mark flopped on Mickey's old bed while Roger laid down on his, waiting for Cass to finish brushing out her hair. 

"I'm really sorry Roger. It just slipped out. It didn't even slip really, she just sort of asked me, out of the blue, and I just sort of answered her. I'm really sorry Roger. Really. Are you mad?" 

"No I'm not mad." 

"You're not?" Mark sat up on the bed in surprise. 

Roger laughed at him. "No but if hitting you a few times would me you feel better…"

"Oh funny." 

"Behave you two." Cass told them sitting down on the bed as Roger's hand ran up her back under her shirt. "You really okay with all this Baby?" 

"Actually, yeah. I'm surprised at how cool they were. Actually with all of today. It's all gone pretty good. Even Patrick." He pulled her down next to him on the bed and started running his fingers through her long, straight hair. 

"So you're glad we came Baby?" She asked him. 

"Yeah, I am." He started to kiss her. 

"Oh please, get a room!" Mark threw a pillow at them. 

"This is my room. Remember? Pie boy?" Roger teased. "Hey Cass, know what? Mark lost his virginity in that bed." He laughed. 

"Really?" She looked over and saw the blood rushing into Mark's face. 

"Yeah well, I, uh…" 

"Yep. We had a party, got him trashed, and set him up with this girl from school. She made Marky a man in Mickey's bed!" 

  
"How do you know it wasn't your bed?" Cass asked trying hard to sound serious.

"Yeah?" Mark added in. 

"Ewww! It better not have been Mark!" 

"Trust me, it wasn't." Mark laughed. "Daphne Oliver."   
  
"What?" 

"Daphne Oliver. That was her name. She was really cute too."   
  
"She was really drunk too." Roger laughed. 

"Hey! She was not."   
  
"Right Mark!"   
  
"Hey you guys ready?" Patrick stuck his head into the room. 

"Yeah. We were just telling Cass about Daphne Oliver." Roger told him. 

"I remember the name. She have red hair?"   
  
"Yeah. You remember that party we had? You were a senior, we got Mark drunk?"  
  
"Okay, let's go." Mark said trying to change the subject. 

"Oh yeah! She was the one who de-virginized Marky in Mickey's bed!"   
  
Mark fell back on the bed and pulled a pillow over his head. Roger broke into hysterical laughter with Patrick. "Why can't anyone remember any of the non-embarrassing things from when I was in high school?" He asked from under the pillow. 

"I didn't think there were any of those." Roger laughed only to receive a slight whack on the leg from a smirking Cass. "Okay, okay. Sorry. Come on, let's go." He grinned. "Super stud." He teased one last time.

***********

Cass splashed water on her face and brushed her teeth before heading down stairs. 

"Good morning sweetie." Joanie said from the kitchen. "You want some tea or some breakfast?" 

"Sure thanks." Cass fixed a cup of tea as Joanie pulled a few boxes of cereal out of the cupboard. 

"The boys still asleep?"   
  
"Uh huh. They had a little too much to drink last night. I hope Patrick didn't have to work today." Cass laughed. 

Joanie smiled. "No he didn't. He was supposed to come help Larry fix the garage roof later. I'm just glad they are getting along."   
  
"So am I. They seemed to be okay last night. I know Roger was really worried about coming here." Cass told her, stirring her tea. 

Joanie reached over and took Cass' hand. "So was I, but I'm so glad you all came up. I've really missed him. I'm so glad he's doing so well. And I think you've had a lot to do with that. You and Mark." 

"Roger's wonderful. I couldn't imagine life without him."   
  
"I can. For a number of years. And now I've got him back." She paused and squeezed Cass' hand. "I know I owe you and Mark for that. Thank you."   
  
Cass didn't know what to say to that so she just smiled at Joanie. 

"Now that I've got him back I don't ever want to lose him again. And not only did I get my Roger back, but I got Mark and you too. And now a grandbaby too!" She hugged Cass again. "I'm sorry I'm just so excited, about all of it, especially the baby." 

"Roger's pretty excited too." Cass blushed. "Especially about you guys being excited about the baby. He was really worried about that too."   
  
"Well everything's going to be okay now." Joanie beamed. 

Cass heard the clock strike ten as Joanie said that. That's ironic she thought. Cass stood up with her tea. "I'm going to go see if they are awake yet." And make sure Roger takes his pills. 

"Okay. Shelly and I are going shopping later, do you want to come with us?"   
  
"Um, we'll see. I don't know when he wants to leave. Maybe." Cass took a step towards the doorway. "Joanie?" She watched her look up from her tea. "Thank you. For all this. And for letting Roger come home and everything. Thank you." She turned and walked upstairs before Joanie could answer. 

She went into the bedroom. Both of them had pulled pillows over their heads, probably when the beeping started. Cass dug his pills out of the bag and poured out what he needed into her hand. She realized they forgot all the vitamins the nutritionist had put Roger on, but that's okay. He can go a day or two without those, as long as he's got his regular meds. 

"Roger, Baby, wake up. Take your pills."   
  
He opened his eyes up some, saw her and smiled. "Hey gorgeous." He leaned up and kissed her. 

"Hey yourself. Here's your pills." She handed them and her tea to him. 

"Thanks." He laid back down, closing his eyes. 

"Go back to sleep." She kissed his forehead as she pulled the blanket up on him. Mark mumbled something incoherent from under the pillow. Cass pulled the pillow off his face. "You too." She told him, kissing his forehead as well.

She went back downstairs and Shelly was sitting in the dining room with Joanie. "Hey! You're going shopping with us?" Shelly asked. "I mean if those two are in the same condition as Patrick, you aren't leaving anytime soon." She laughed. 

"This is true." Cass laughed. "I really do need some new jeans. Mine are getting tight."   
  
"That settles it then!" Joanie proclaimed. "I'm taking my girls and my grandbaby shopping!" 

"Oh God, we're doomed!" Shelly told Cass. "I learned long ago, it's easier to just give in to her when she gets like this." 

"Yup! It's settled! We'll leave the boys a note. They have plenty of food here. We'll go to lunch. Cathy's going with us too." 

"Okay, okay I'll go shopping!" Cass laughed pouring milk on the cereal she put in a bowl earlier. 

"So did you guys have fun last night?" Joanie asked them. 

"Yeah. We had a great time. I'm real proud of Patrick. He won't admit it," Shelly looked from Joanie to Cass, "but he's really glad to see Roger again. And he is excited about the baby too."   
  
Joanie just smiled as she stirred her coffee. 

"Joanie did Cass tell you we ran into Randy last night?" 

"You're kidding? Is he still married to that girl?"   
  
"Uh huh. Karla. And they have three kids now. He's a personal trainer at this big gym. Pat, Roger and Mark were just sitting there drinking when he walked by. I think he recognized Patrick first and then realized who Mark and Roger where." She laughed. 

"Next thing you know the four of them are sitting there, downing shots, drinking to the old days and the fact that Roger's gonna be a daddy."   
  
"Why does everyone always sound so surprised at that?" Cass asked her. 

"Let's just say the fact that Roger has a kid is a lot less shocking sounding than the idea of Roger as a daddy." Shelly laughed. 

"Roger will make a great daddy." Cass told them. "Look how good Mark turned out." They all laughed as she stood up to go upstairs to get ready. 

**********

"Yo, loser, wake up!" Patrick kicked at the bed. 

"Oh, yeah, I missed that." Roger said sitting up. "What time is it?"   
  
"11:30. Where are my glasses?"   
  
Roger picked them up off the far nightstand and tossed them to him. "Where's Cass?" He asked, looking around. 

Patrick grinned. "She got shanghaied into going to the mall with Mom and Shelly." 

"Cass shopping. That took a lot of convincing, I'm sure." Mark commented. "Hey at least we didn't have to go this time."   
  
"Mom made coffee. I'll meet you downstairs." 

"I'm gonna take a shower." 

Roger got up and went downstairs with Patrick. He poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. Patrick passed him the cereal box. 

"So last night was cool. Kinda like old times." Patrick told him pouring milk in his bowl. 

  
"Yeah it was." Roger poured milk on his cereal and stirred it around in the bowl for a minute. "Listen Patrick, I'm really sorry. For everything."   


Neither of them looked at the other. "Yeah, I'm sorry for a lot of stuff too." 

"I kinda missed you, sort of." Roger said, playing with his cereal. 

  
"I kinda missed you too. Even if you are a kind of weirdo with bad hair and no real job. You're still my little brother." 

"Look about your wedding…"   
  
"Forget about it. Shelly did. That's the important thing. I'm glad you're doing better. Aside from robbing me blind, you looked like hell. Strung out, half starved and pale as a ghost and all." 

"We tried to get clean for it. Really. We just weren't doing real good then. I'm really sorry. Really. I feel really bad Patrick." He told him still staring at the world's most fascinating bowl of cereal. 

"Look it was a long time ago. I'm glad you're clean thought. And back. Mom's really missed you. And the whole baby thing." He grinned. "Between you coming back and having a baby, you probably made her century." 

"Yeah I kinda got that feeling." Roger smiled. 

"Now that you're back, you ah, you are planning on sticking around right? I mean if you take off again, you'll break Mom's heart. Especially now that you're having a baby."   
  
Roger finally looked Patrick I the eye. "Yeah, now that I'm back, I'm planning on sticking around. Especially with the baby. I promise." 

"Good."   
  
"So we're cool?" 

"Yeah, we're cool. Little brother." 

"Good. I'm glad. Speaking of that, how's Mickey?" 

"Mickey is Mickey. He's working for a decent contractor. It's a decent job. Still brings his laundry home for Mom." He laughed. "For the most part he stayed out of trouble. Didn't give Mom too hard a time."   
  
"I think I gave Mom a hard enough time for all three of us." He looked back at his cereal. "What's he doing with him?" 

Patrick shrugged. "I don't know. He doesn't seem to mind him. I can't explain it." 

"Do you ever see him?"   
  
"Everyone's favorite wife beating, child abusing alcoholic? Once in a while. Usually because of Mickey. Sometimes he sobers up for a stretch and goes into that want to get to know my sons crap."  
  
"He ever ask about me?"   
  
Patrick studied his coffee. "Not really. I mean not with me. We don't really talk about much. He may with Mickey. They talk more."   
  
"I doubt it. He probably forgot I existed. I don't care if I ever see him again."   
  
Patrick twirled his coffee cup in his hands. "Listen Rog, you always got the worst of it and I'm sorry. I should have done something or at least something more to stop him." He paused. "I'm sorry."   
  
Roger shrugged. "What could you do? What could any of us do? I mean there was three of us and we couldn't even keep him off Mom half the time."   
  
"I know. I just feel like I let you down. Like maybe if I'd been able to do something way back then, then maybe you wouldn't of, you know, had so many problems."   
  
"I didn't become a junkie because of him. I mean that may have helped, but that's not why it happened. It wasn't your fault Patrick."   
  
"I still feel bad."   
  
"Don't." Roger played with his spoon. After a silent minute, and without looking up he finally spoke again in a low voice. "Pat?" 

"Yeah?"   
  
"Can I ask you something?"   
  
"Sure anything."   
  
"Do you think I'm anything like him?"   
  
There was no hesitation in his answer. "No. Nothing at all like him. None of us are. We're all better than him. Way better than him. You'd never treat Cass the way he treated Mom. And there is no way in hell you'd ever treat your kid the way that bastard treated us. Especially you. So don't worry about it. Okay?"   
  
  
  
**************

Patrick opened the back door to see Randy standing there. "Hey! Come on in." 

"Hey." He came into the living room to see Roger playing his guitar. "Man I can't believe you've still got that thing!"   
  
"Of course he's still got it." Mark teased. "He'd get rid of me before he'd get rid of that stupid guitar."   
  
"Watch it pie boy! I've told you about talking about my guitar like that."   
  
Mark just rolled his eyes at him. 

  
"So where's your girlfriend?" Randy asked Roger looking around. "She's a little hottie."   
  
Roger grinned. "Yeah she is."   
  
"Her and Shelly went shopping with my mom." Patrick told him. 

"Yeah Karla and her mom took the girls with them to the mall. What is it with women and malls?"  
  
"Yeah, Cass can shop." Mark joked. 

"Man, just you wait." Randy laughed at Roger as he held out his hand for his guitar. "You think she shops now, just wait till that kid gets here. Karla about put us in the poorhouse."   
  
"Yeah Rog, you know how much a kid cost?" Patrick asked him. 

"I know." He handed Randy the guitar. 

Randy started to roughly pick out a few chords, turning them into a popular tune on the radio. "Dude, you got no idea!" He laughed. "I thought all we needed was a crib, a car seat, bottles, clothes and diapers. Man was I wrong. Babies cost a fortune too. You make enough money being a bartender and guitar player?"   
  
"We got money." Roger said leaning back on the couch. 

"Trust me, you never got enough." He said still picking at the guitar. 

"Randy you are killing me! Don't you ever practice?" Roger asked, taking the guitar back. 

Randy laughed. "Practice? Are you nuts? I work fifty hours a week. I drop two kids off at school, one at my mother in laws everyday. Karla picks them up feeds them and I got to put them to bed. Then I got to hear Karla bitch about work all day and how we never go out, have any money, I never help her, and crap like that. I spend Saturdays going to soccer games, tee ball games and dance classes. Not to mention mowing grass, raking leaves, painting crap, fixing crap and oh, getting to do all that at Karla's mom's too. And then I get to spend Sundays at Karla's moms when I'm off from work. So when would I have time to practice?"   
  
"Wow." Mark said bluntly. "That's really depressing Randy."   
  
Randy sighed. "Your right. Got a beer?"   
  
Patrick laughed at him as he went to the fridge. "We only got three left." He handed one to Randy, one to Roger and one to Mark who shook his head. 

"I mean don't get me wrong." Randy opened his beer. "I wouldn't trade my girls for anything. But I'll tell you, my life isn't what it used to be." 

"What life? You knocked her up like the month before graduation." Mark said to him as Roger just kept playing his guitar. 

"Yeah that's true. I guess I could have planned that first kid better." Randy laughed. "But I'll tell you this, as far as once you have a kid, you can kiss all them party days goodbye Davis."   
  
"Whatever." Roger ignored him and kept playing but he did look up enough to see the amused look on Mark's face.

"And forget about sex." Randy added. "That's shot to hell till they are like six or seven. "Not that you get all that much from the time they find out they're pregnant."   
  
"What are you talking about?" Roger asked him still playing his guitar.

"Dude, if she's three months pregnant, and your still having sex, consider yourself lucky."   
  
"Trust me," Mark told them, "they are definitely still having sex. Most of our building can attest to that!" He laughed.   
  
Roger looked up at him. "You know, you could always move into the little apartment downstairs. By yourself. Next door to Jen."   
  
"Point taken, shutting up." Mark grinned as his phone rang. "Hello?" He paused to listen. "Hey Mo, what's up sweetie?"   
  
Roger couldn't help but notice Mark light up some talking to her. 

"Well she's not here Mo. She won't be back till later."   
  
"Who's that?" Randy asked, finishing his beer. 

  
"Maureen. Friend of ours. They went out for awhile but she dumped him to become a lesbian." Roger explained.

"You're kidding?" Patrick laughed. 

"Only Mark would date a lesbian!" Randy was cracking up.  
  
"Yeah well, that was a long time ago." Roger said, finishing his beer as well. It had been a long time. Nearly five years. After all that time he had forgotten how people found that whole story amusing. "They're good friends now, we all are." However the two of them seem to be awfully good friends lately he thought. 

"Well what do you want me to do Mo? My options are limited, I mean it's not like Roger's gonna know…Okay hold on."   
  
"What's wrong?"   
  
"Mo's going to some big deal dinner with Joanne and her parents tonight. She wanted to talk to Cass, but since she's not here, and didn't take her phone, that leaves you and me."   
  
"What's she need?"   
  
"She wants to know how you eat escargot. Like which fork or something."   
  
"She's asking us?" He wrinkled his brow. 

  
"No, she wanted to ask Cass. She's settling for us." He went back to the phone. "Mo relax. You won't throw up… You won't throw up. I know they're snails, but you won't throw up." He got up and walked to the kitchen. 

"So you wanna go pick up some more beers?" Randy asked. 

"Sure." Roger put his guitar away. "What are you doing Pat?"   
  
"I'm gonna go get started on the garage roof. Larry should be home soon. You guys go ahead."   
  
Roger hollered to Mark who waved them on, still talking to Maureen. 

**************

As they walked into the convenience store the cute girl with glasses behind the counter looked up at them. Roger had grabbed his old leather jacket as they had walked out of the house. He shoved his fists into the pockets as he walked down the aisles. 

They walked over to the beer and Randy grabbed two twelve packs. "So I can't believe you and Mark still live together."   
  
"Yep." Roger walked down another aisle, the counter girl watching him. "We live in a dump, but it's getting better. Our place is getting renovated right now." He picked up a bottle of ginger ale for Cass.  
  
"That's cool. He gonna keep living with you? After the baby?"  
  
"Yeah. Why wouldn't he?" Roger went to the ice cream and got a small container of coffee chocolate chip. "What is with that girl?"

Randy looked up at the counter. "Maybe she's got the hots for you." He laughed. "So you know, hot young chicks find you a whole lot less interesting when you're holding a screaming kid."

"Funny." He set the ginger ale and ice cream down on the counter and slid it over with the beer. 

The girl was still looking at him funny. "Do I know you?" She asked him. 

"I don't think so kid." Roger laughed. What was she, like sixteen? He thought. 

"Okay. Um, I gotta see your ID."   
  
"You gotta be kidding."   
  
She shrugged and looked up at him. "Sorry. Rules. If you're under thirty…" 

"Yeah whatever." Now he was looking at her. There was something about the way she looked over her glasses when she shrugged her shoulders at him, but he didn't know what. He pulled out his wallet and dug through it, finally finding his expired driver's license. He never got ID'ed in the city, not for years. And it's not like he'd driven a car since, well since his trip to Santa Fe. Oh well, it did at least have the loft address on it. The girl took it, scanning the birth date, bending it in the light to make sure it was real. Doing all the things she'd done a thousand times before. Just like her boss had taught her. But this time she actually looked at the address and read the name. Closely. "Oh my God!" She looked up at him, eyes wide in surprise. "I do know you!" 

  
  



	65. 65

A/N 

__

July 24, nine a.m. Eastern Standard Time. I can't believe a year went by so fast…

Well, it's true, it has been a whole year since I started posting this. Truly hard to believe that what started as a short little story turned into this. All because when I listened to Third Eye Blind as I ran, I could hear Roger all over the lyrics. And that was what it was supposed to be, a short story. That I was only writing for me. It took awhile before I even considered posting it and look what that turned into. I still can't believe it sometimes. 

With that said, I need to thank everyone that has read this. Especially everyone that has reviewed it, there are too many of you to mention. When I started posting this, my baby was 10 days old. Some times this was my only sanity in the beginning and getting the reviews made my day. Especially on the days when the baby and I were home alone all day long, with no one else to talk to and starving for adult conversation. I know people say this all the time, but getting reviews really helps keep you going. So again, thank you all.

A recent reviewer asked if I was going to wrap this up soon. That 60 odd chapters was a lot for one story. This is true, but like I said, originally I was only writing it for me. But I assure you all, it is going somewhere. It is completely written, and we are working towards a close. Just bear with me please. And enjoy the rest of the story. 

Chapter 65

"Uh huh. So what else did you get Baby?" Roger asked Cass, pulling her close on the couch. 

"Just jeans. And those two sweaters for Mark. And a sweatshirt for you." She looked up at him. "Roger what is going on with you? You're acting weird."   
  
"Nothing." He grinned at her, kissing her neck. 

"Yes there is." She looked up at him suspiciously. "Mark? What's going on?"   
  
"I don't know." Mark shrugged from the chair. "He's been acting strange all afternoon. He won't tell me anything." 

"Nothing." He grinned again, tickling Cass. Just as she started to giggle the doorbell rang. "Hey Mark, get the door. Will you?"   
  
"What? Why can't you get it?" He flicked the TV channel. 

The doorbell rang again. "Just get it will you? I'm busy." He started kissing Cass to keep from cracking up. 

"Somebody answer the door!" Joanie called from upstairs. 

"Marrrrrk." Roger begged, running kisses down Cass' throat. 

  
"Oh all right!" Mark pouted as he walked out of the room. 

As soon as he was out of the room, Roger stopped kissing Cass and hopped up off the couch, pulling her by the hand. 

"So much for romance!" She joked. 

"Shhhh!" He pulled her towards the entranceway, grinning like a fool. They peaked around the corner as Mark opened the door. 

  
"Marky!" The girl yelled throwing her arms around his neck and jumping into his arms. "I can't believe you're here!"   
  
"What? How did you? Oh my God!" Mark hugged her back. 

"Who is that?" Cass whispered to Roger. 

"You're supposed to be in Albany! What are you doing here? How did you know I was here?"   
  
Roger led Cass back to the living room. "His little sister Molly." He grinned. "Randy and I went to the convenience store and she was working there."  
  
"And you recognized her?" Cass as skeptically. She had seen Molly at Cindy's wedding and she didn't even recognize her. 

"Hardly. Last time I even remember noticing her she was like eight. She recognized me. She volunteered to work this weekend so she didn't have to go to her aunt's."   
  
"And that's what you've been grinning like an idiot for all afternoon? You set it up to surprise him? You are such a sweetheart!" She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard.

"Well, Molly's normal, for his family." He squeezed her. "Besides, I figured if I gotta see my whole family, he's got to see at least some of his." He kissed her back. 

"You big jerk!" Mark punched him in the arm as he and Molly walked into the living room. "Why didn't you tell me?"   
  
Roger looked up and grinned at him. "Cause this would be more fun. At least for me." He sat down on the couch, pulling Cass next to him. 

  
"I still can't believe you're here!" Mark said to Molly shaking his head. "How did you know I was here?"   
  
"Roger came into the store and I knew he looked familiar. I recognized the address on his license."   
  
"I still can't believe it. Does Mom know?"   
  
"What that I begged and pleaded to pick up shifts at work so I wouldn't have to go with them? Or that you snuck back home on a weekend when you knew she'd be gone?"   
  
"Yeah well…." 

"Relax, I'd do the same thing if I had a choice. Believe me I'm counting the days till graduation. Then I'm doing the same thing you did. Going to summer session and never coming home!"   
  
"Molly!" Mark sat down in the chair. "You can't do that!"   
  
"Oh Mark relax." Cass told him. "Hey Molly." She smiled at the girl. 

"Hi."   
  
"Oh, sorry. Molly this is Cass." 

"You mean the catholic one with the cleavage that you took to Cindy's wedding?" Molly asked, surprised. 

"I gotta see those pictures!" Roger laughed, hugging Cass close as she started to blush. 

Mark closed his eyes. "Yeah, the same one. She lives with us."   
  
"Oh. But I thought you and her were…" Molly looked back and fourth between Cass and Mark, both of who were turning red. 

"We were, then, but we're not, because, oh never mind Molly!" He was getting flustered. 

"Oh Mark! I'm not a baby! Not that you'd know for the last time you saw me. But that's okay." She bounced up and down in her chair. "I'm just so happy to see you. You know you're the only other normal member of our family!"   
  
"Now that's funny." Roger laughed. 

"Behave." Cass shushed him. "Roger I'm hungry. Can we go eat?"   
  
"Sure. Hey Molly you got a car?"   
  
"Uh huh." 

"You want to go to dinner with us? Mark will pay if you drive."   
  
"Sure!"   
  
  
  
******************  


Roger saw the glow of the TV as he and Cass came in the back door. 

"Hey. You want some pie?" Larry asked quietly from the kitchen. 

"Ugh. No more food." Cass answered, taking off Roger's old jacket. 

"No thanks. We ate. Where's Mom?" 

"She's asleep on the couch. Where's Mark?" 

"He's gonna stay over at his house. He's still talking to his sister." Roger yawned. 

"Hey Sweetie. How was dinner?" Joanie asked coming into the kitchen. 

"Good. I'm stuffed." Cass yawned. 

"Did you say Mark is with his sister still?"

"Uh huh. He's gonna sleep there." 

"Oh. That's good." She looked at him for a second. "I talked to Mickey."   
  
"Yeah?" 

"Yes. He called earlier. I told him you were here. I hope you don't mind."   
  
Roger shrugged. "I don't care."   
  
Joanie bit her lip. "Good, because I got excited while I was talking to him, and well, I accidentally told him about the baby. I'm so sorry Roger. Are you upset?" 

He had to smile at her. She was really excited about the baby. So excited, he couldn't get mad. "It's okay Mom." He kissed her cheek before looking at Cass. "Come on let's go to bed." 

Joanie just stood there, smiling. "Good night Sweetie. Night Cass."   
  
"Night." Cass told her, following him up the stairs. She dug around through their laundry she did that day, pulling out something to sleep in. Cass pulled on a cut off tee shirt and a pair of Roger's boxers. 

He walked back into the room just then. "Oh Baby, love you in my underwear." He walked up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her neck. 

"Down boy." She laughed as she headed towards the bathroom. 

"Agh!" He watched her walk out. Roger looked around his old room. He went over to the nightstand, unplugged the light and picked it up, sliding the nightstand out from between the beds. After that he pushed the two beds together. 

When Cass came back in, Roger was laying on the newly expanded bed. "Oh, you were ambitious while I was in the bathroom." She grinned, closing the door and flipping off the light. She knelt on the bed, crawling over to him. 

"Yeah, well, Mark's not coming back tonight. And I was tired of feeling like I was going to fall out of bed." He gave her a mischievous grin. 

"I'd never let you fall out of bed Baby." She kissed his nose. 

"You say that now, when you're awake." He grinned. "But when you're sleeping…" he started to kiss her as he ran his fingers up her arm. 

"You know I love you?"   
  
"You've mentioned it."   
  
"Well I do. I'm really glad you came here Roger. I know it was hard for you. I'm really proud of you."   
  
"Thanks Baby." He rolled her on her back and started kissing down her throat. 

"And getting Mark back with Molly was really great too."   
  
"Uh huh." He kept kissing her as his hand went up her shirt. 

"I love you Roger." She kissed him back. 

"I love you too Baby."   
  
  
  
********************  


Cass rested her head on her hand, leaning on her elbow watching Roger sleep. He looked so peaceful sleeping like that. Sometimes he didn't. Sometimes he was so restless while he slept. But that seemed to be happening less and less. Especially since he came back from touring. She couldn't resist, she leaned over and lightly kissed him on the lips. 

"Hey Baby." He said after kissing her back. "What was that for?"   
  
"Cause I love you. And it's almost ten. I'm getting up, I'll get you something to drink."   
  
"Okay." He lay there, smiling, watching her sit up and look for her discarded clothes. He leaned over and kissed her bare back. 

She just looked at him and smiled, pulling on his tee shirt and boxers and standing up. Cass blew him a kiss and stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind her. She could hear voices coming from the kitchen as she stepped into the bathroom. She couldn't help but think Joanie sounded upset. 

After finishing in the bathroom, she filled a cup with water and headed back to their room. 

"What am I going to do?" Joanie asked, exasperated. 

"You've got to tell him Joanie." Cathy said. 

"I can't! Patrick's on his way." She answered. 

Cass walked back into the bedroom. "Here Babe." She handed him the water and he took his pills. "Something's going on. Your mom sounds upset. I heard her say Patrick's on his way over."   
  
A look of fear and worry came over Roger's face. Quickly he threw on jeans and headed downstairs, barefoot and shirtless. He could hear his mom, and she was definitely upset. 

"Oh God Larry. I totally screwed this up!" She sobbed. 

"No you didn't. But you do have to tell him."   
  
Roger walked into the dinning room where his mother, aunt and stepfather all sat. "Tell me what? What's going on?"   
  
"Oh God Roger! I'm so sorry!" Joanie sobbed. 

"Mom what's going on?" He felt Cass step up behind him.

Just then the back door flew open and Patrick ran in. "Mom I--" He yelled before seeing all of them. "Oh shit!" He looked around at everyone, his eyes going back and forth between Joanie and Roger. "Look, don't worry about it. Okay Mom? I'll take care of it." He looked at Roger. "I'll take care of it." He said almost pleading. 

  
"Take care of what? What the hell is going on?" He didn't like having things kept from him. 

"I'm so sorry Roger." Joanie sobbed. "It's all my fault."   
  
"It's not your fault Mom. It's Mickey's. And I said I'd take care of it." Patrick told her again. 

"What?" Roger yelled. 

Joanie took a deep breath. "Your father. Mickey called. They're on their way back. Micky told him you were here. And about the baby. He wants to see you. I'm sorry honey."   
  
Roger just stood there for a second. Stunned. His first reaction was to yell and scream, but the look on her face stopped him. "It's okay Mom." He turned to Cass. "Go pack our stuff, we're leaving. And call Mark."   
  
"Okay Baby." She said softly, slowly scanning the faces in the room. Cass wasn't convinced that running was the best decision but if it was what Roger wanted, that was what she'd do. Besides now wasn't the time to debate it with him. 

"Roger I--"

"Don't worry Mom, it's not your fault." 

"Roger please don't leave." She begged. 

"I got to. I'm not sticking around to see that bastard. And there's no way in hell he's coming anywhere near her." He pointed up the stairs Cass just went up.

"Roger--"

"No Mom!" He yelled. "I'm sorry." He closed his eyes hard. "I, I gotta go." He ran up the stairs to their room.

"Roger are you okay?" Cass asked quietly as she folded up clothes. 

"I'm fine. Throw me a shirt. And socks." 

She handed him both, and then just watched him start to pull on his socks. 

Patrick knocked on the door as he opened it. "Hey. Um, can I talk to you?"   
  
"I'm going to go get some food." Cass said meekly as she slid out of the room. 

"Roger…" 

"Forget it Patrick. I don't ever need to see him again. Especially here. Especially around Cass. And there is no way in hell he's getting anywhere near my kid!" He yelled as he pulled on his new sweatshirt. 

"So tell him! Or at least let me tell him."   
  
"Forget it! He's not worth the breath." He started to pull on his boots. 

"He… look, I never did anything before. This time I can. We can stand up to him. Tell him he can take off. For good if you want. But maybe just find out what he wants first."   
  
"Pat-"

"No wait! Just, just don't run out on Mom. Not like this. Not over him. Again."   
  
"I-"

"Please." Patrick begged. "Do it for her. Do it for me. Hell, let me do it for you. Please."   
  
Roger looked up from his boots. "What do you want me to do Patrick?" He asked, almost defeated. 

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Talk to him. Listen to him. Tell him to go to hell. Let me tell him for you. I don't know." He shook his head. "Just don't run out on Mom. Please Roger."   


***************

Cass chewed on her lip as she walked into the dinning room. Joanie, Cathy and Larry looked up as she came in. Joanie still had tears in her eyes. 

"Cass you want some juice? Or cereal?" Cathy asked her standing up and motioning for Cass to take her chair. 

She was about to tell Cathy not to bother, but realized at this moment it was more for Cathy's benefit then hers. "Juice is fine. Thanks."   
  
"I'm so sorry Cass." Joanie sobbed. 

"Joanie he's not mad at you. He just doesn't want to see his father."   
  
"Damn you Jack!" She slammed her coffee cup down in a very familiar way. 

Cass couldn't help but think about family traits and resemblances. She was about to laugh when the back door flew open and Mark rushed in. Cass just looked at him for a second. "Upstairs." She told him before he even had to ask. Mark nodded and took off up the steps. 

"Here sweetie." Cathy told Cass, setting down a glass of juice and a plate of toast. "Joanie stop getting upset. They both told you he's not mad at you. Now just relax till we see what happens."   
  
They all just sat there for a few minutes. Cass nibbled on her toast. Finally Mark and Patrick came back downstairs. "Roger wants to talk to you Cass."   
  
She shook her head and walked quietly upstairs. "Roger?" She pushed open the door. "Baby are you okay?" 

He was lying back on the bed with his arm over his face. "Yes. No. I don't know."   
  
"What do you want to do Baby?" She lay down next to him, stroking his hair. 

"I don't know. I don't really care if I ever see him again, but Patrick thinks I need to tell him that."   
  
"Okay, whatever you want to do Baby."   
  
He moved his arm and looked up at her. "I want you to stay up here. Just stay in here okay?"

"Roger I--"

"No! Just stay in here. Please. And don't be looking out the window either. I don't want him having any idea what you even look like. Please?"   
  
"Okay Roger. Whatever you want Baby. I'll do it." She told him, still stroking his hair. 

"Thank you." He told her, pulling her down to him and just holding her.

After about twenty minutes Mark reappeared in the doorway. "Mickey just called. They're about five minutes away."   
  
Roger nodded as he sat up. He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. Their fingers intertwined, they finally came apart as he stepped towards the door. 

"Hey Davis!" She smiled at him as he looked at her. "I love you."   
  
"Thanks Baby." He looked from her to Mark and walked out the door. 

Mark closed and locked the door behind Roger. He went over to the window, raised the blinds about two inches and opened the window so he could hear outside. After he went back over and sat down on the floor in front of the door. 

Roger went down the steps past his mother and aunt at the dining room table. He saw Larry open the front door and step out onto the porch. 

"Jack." Larry said from the porch. 

"Larry. Where is he?" 

Roger heard that voice. The one he hadn't actually heard in years, but every so often slipped into his dreams. 

"They're coming out Larry. Let's try not to have any major scenes on the front lawn, okay?"   
  
Jack was about to say something when he saw Patrick at the front door. "Patty! How you doing boy? You never call your old man. Don't go picking up bad habits from that brother of yours." He laughed. 

"Don't call me that." Patrick snapped at him.

Roger walked out onto the porch behind Patrick and looked at Jack. He was standing on the porch by the steps. Mickey was off to his side, looking very uncomfortable. His eyes kept going from Roger and Patrick to his stepfather to his father. 

"So look who finally decides to come home." Jack moved towards Roger, who moved away. "My son the professional fuck up."   
  
"What do you want?" Roger asked him, no emotion what so ever in his voice. 

"I wanted to see my big time musician son."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Cause you're my kid!" Jack was getting annoyed. 

"Bullshit!"   
  
"You still got a sucky attitude Roger!"

"Dad." Mickey said quietly from the side of the porch. Jack just ignored him. 

"Screw you Jack."   
  
"Listen to me you no good little shit! I'm you father, I deserve a little respect!"   
  
"Dad." Mickey almost begged, but was still ignored. 

"Why?" Roger asked again. 

"Why you little fuck!"   
  
"What do you want Jack? Cause if you just came to tell me what a fuck up you think I am I'm leaving." Roger told him, still no emotion showing in his voice. 

Jack stared at him for a second. "I hear I'm gonna be a grandfather." 

"You're not gonna be anything." Roger told him. 

"What you aren't having a kid?" He asked accusingly, looking at Mickey. 

"Yeah, I'm having a kid, but that doesn't mean anything for you."   
  
"Why you ungrateful little shit! I raise you, put up with all your crap all these years and you think you're gonna keep me away from my grandkid?"   
  
"Hell yes! You got nothing to do with that kid now or ever! You stay the fuck away from me, my girlfriend and especially my kid!"   
  
"Dad?" Mickey said again, reaching for Jack's jacket. 

Jack smacked his hand away. "Shut up Mickey!"   
  
Roger snapped. He lunged at Jack throwing him against the house. "Leave him the fuck alone! Leave us all alone. We don't need you or your crap. We're not the fucking losers you thing we are! You're the fucking loser Jack. Stay the fuck away from me, my family and especially my kid. You got that Jack? I don't ever want to see your sorry ass again!"   
  
"Why you little fuck!" Jack brought his fist back to hit Roger, who never moved, never flinched. He just stood there, staring at him. But before he could strike out at him, Patrick and Mickey were both at Roger's side, staring him down, with Larry off to the side. Jack just glared at them before pushing past Roger. "Fine! Keep your bastard kid of some junkie whore! What do I care!" He got into his car and sped away. 

They all watched him drive away. Finally Mickey spoke. "I guess I'm gonna need a ride back to my place." Roger and Patrick turned and looked at him, starting to laugh. Roger grabbed him and hugged him. 

When he let go Mickey looked at his brother. "Rog I'm really sorry. Really. He said he just wanted to see you. To talk. I'm sorry."   
  
"Forget it." Roger grinned at him. "Come on, you wanna meet Cass?"   
  
"Yeah!" He smiled as they walked into the house.

*****************

Mark hadn't said anything since coming into the bedroom. He just sat on the floor in front of the door. His head in his hands, resting on his knees. They could hear muffled voices down on the porch. A few minutes after the car drove away they heard footsteps on the stairs. 

"Open the door Mark."   
  
Mark got up and unlocked the door, letting Roger in. Mark looked at him. Roger just shrugged and nodded. Mark nodded back and headed down stairs. 

Roger walked over and lay down on the bed, resting his head in Cass' lap. "Are you okay Baby?" She asked him, stroking his hair. 

He let out a long sigh. "Yeah I'm okay." 

  
She just looked at him, running her fingers down the side of his face. 

"He's such a son of a bitch." He closed his eyes again. "But that went better than most of the other times. Nobody got hit."   
  
"I'm sorry Baby."   
  
Roger just lay there for a few minutes. "He doesn't think I'm his kid. That's why he hates me. At least more than Pat and Mickey."

Cass just listened to him, gently playing with his hair. 

"He was in the army. It was near the end of the war. He'd been stateside the whole time, but out in California. They had Patrick but my mom stayed here, with my grandparents. He was getting sent over to Vietnam, so she flew out to see him first. She spent one lousy weekend there. She only saw him for like twelve hours. Then he got sent out and nine months later she had me. That's why he doesn't think I'm his. That's why he hates me."   
  
"That's stupid."   
  
"Yeah well, he's not exactly the brightest person around."   
  
"I'm sorry baby." She told him softly. 

After a minute he spoke. "I asked her once. If I was his. She said I was. Told me how she went to see him in California. Swore over and and over I was his."   
  
"Shhh Baby, it's okay."   
  
"What do you think?" 

"I don't think your mom would lie to you."   
  
Roger turned and looked at her. She was so beautiful. He couldn't help but see the irony in the whole situation. His own father thinks he's not his and hates him for it. And here was Cass, beautiful, pregnant Cass. Pregnant with a kid that definitely was not his, and he loves her for it and because of it. If not for all she went through, he wouldn't have her. 

"No, I guess not. I guess that means I'm definitely his."   
  
"Probably." 

"Cass?" He looked up at her with big green eyes.

"What Baby?"   
  
"You know I'm nothing like him, right? Nothing at all." 

"I know Baby. I know." She stroked his cheek. 

Roger reached up and touched her stomach. Without taking his eyes off where his hand rested he finally spoke. "I love you Cass."   
  
"I know Baby." 

****************

When they got back downstairs, Shelly had joined them and Joanie was fixing food for the guys. Mark was hanging up his phone when they walked in. He ripped the piece of paper off the pad and handed it to Cass. 

"So you know, Mo and Jen have each called me twice to make sure we don't forget to meet them at Life Café tomorrow night at seven."   
  
Cass smiled at that. "How did they sound?"   
  
"Desperate."   
  
"Mo? Desperate?" Roger joked, eyeing Mark. 

Mark ignored him and kept going. "Yeah well, Izzy called and wants to know if you'll close for him tomorrow. And the contractor called too. He said all the walls are down and cleaned out. They're going to start putting the frame work up for the new walls tomorrow, but they got the door moved."   
  
"Your contractor is working over Thanksgiving weekend?" Larry asked. 

"For a slight extra fee of course." She grinned. 

"Of course." 

"Well, he knew it would be worth it. He squeezed this job in before another one. Supposedly the whole place should be livable by Christmas."   
  
"That's good. Really quick."   
  
Cass shrugged. "It's a pretty easy job. Clean out the old walls, put up new ones, do the drywall, run the electricity. It's putting in the plumbing and everything for the two new bathrooms that will take the longest. He said he'll get all the basics done, re-do the existing bathroom first and by then we can move back in."   
  
"What about the kitchen?"   
  
"That's one of the last things too. It's not like we cook. But we'll have heat, electricity, walls and at least one bathroom by Christmas."   
  
"Why don't we just stay downstairs till the whole thing is done?" Roger asked her. 

"Because Mark and I can't work there, it's way too tiny, especially for three people, and I'd like to rent it out."   
  
"It sounds like it'll be really nice when it's done." Shelly said. 

"It'll double our square footage. And the resale value in a few years will be incredible."   
  
"Is she really talking about that dump you two have always lived in?" Patrick asked.   


"Yup, same dump." Roger said, making a turkey sandwich. 

"Impressive. I saw that place once, when you first got there. The only thing that seemed like it could improve that place would be to tear it down." Patrick laughed. 

Cass shrugged. "Did anybody else call?"   
  
"Um, yeah. Carlton called the answering machine four times. Apparently he really needs to talk to you."   
  
"Lovely." She said in a totally disgusted voice. She walked into the living room, taking Mark's phone with her. Roger made a face as he watched her get up and walk out.

"Who's Carlton?" Patrick asked. 

"Her boss. And her father. In that order." Mark explained. 

They heard her start to speak in French before switching to English. "I told you, I'm on holiday. If you ever came back to the states you'd realize it was Thanksgiving here."

Roger leaned back in his chair to listen to her. "I told you, I can't. Right now my system is closed up. You'll have to do it yourself." 

  
Good for her Roger thought as he heard her tell him that.

"Jesus Carlton, I learned how to do it from you, you can do it for him." She paused to listen to him. "Forget it. You'll have to do it…. No, I can't."

They argued in French for a moment before she hung up the phone and came back into the dining room. 

  
"You okay?" Roger asked her. 

"I just work for idiots. Are you going to close for Izzy?"   
  
"I should. It's only closing, not all night. I can go in after we eat. Is that okay?"   
  
She nodded. "When are we going home?"   
  
"I don't know, either tonight or tomorrow morning." 

"You guys should come with me tonight to the Hopper. It's a good band. The bass player is a friend of mine." Mickey told them. 

"Maybe, we'll see." Roger told him finishing his sandwich. 

"Hey is it still the same as it used to be? Do you think we can get Molly in?"   
  
"You might. Especially if we all walk in together. And she doesn't act like she's underage." Shelly added.


	66. 66

Chapter 66

By the time they reached the Life Café everyone else was already there. "Where's Joanne?" Cass asked. 

"She stayed in Washington." Maureen announced without looking up. 

"Oh." Mark said, sitting down. "So how was it?" He asked her. 

"Fine." Maureen answered, getting up to go to the bar for another drink. Mark sighed and followed her up. 

Roger watched the whole little scene between the two of them play out. Mark what are you doing? He thought. They were going to have to talk. He got so deep in thought on Mark and Maureen he didn't even hear Collins talking to him. 

"Earth to Roger? Hello?"   
  
"Oh, sorry Collins. What did you say?"   
  
"I said how did it go? Must have been fairly decent considering you were going for dinner and stayed all weekend."   
  
"Yeah," he smiled, "it was pretty cool." 

"Did you see your brother?" Jason asked hesitantly. 

"Uh huh. Both of them. Patrick was there Thursday and Mickey came over Saturday with Jack."   
  
"Really?" Collins raised an eyebrow. "And how did that go?"   
  
"Let's just say no one got arrested or hospitalized."   
  
"I'm guessing he wasn't exactly invited over for Thanksgiving dinner?"   
  
Roger looked around. "Where's Cass?"   
  
"Over talking to my sister."   
  
"Oh." He sat up more. "No he wasn't. My mom found out about Cass being pregnant, she told Mickey, and Mickey told him. SOB shows up thinking I don't know what. I don't want anything to do with him, no way in hell I'm letting him anywhere near her."   
  
Collins just nodded. Over the years he and Roger have had many conversations regarding Jack Davis. They may have talked about it more than Roger and Mark. Mark had grown up around Jack. He knew all about him. That mixed with Roger's brooding nature along with Mark's tendency to not push meant they often had non-verbal conversations. At least in regards to Jack. That left the actual conversations to Collins.   
  
"So anything else happen?" Jason asked. 

Roger shrugged. "I ran into Mark's little sister Molly."   
  
"What was she doing there? I thought his family went away?"   
  
"They did. She stayed behind to work."  
  
"Work? I thought she was like twelve?"   
  
Roger grinned, mainly because that was exactly what he had been thinking as well when he saw her. "Dude, try 18 and a senior in high school. Face it, somewhere along the way we got old."   
  
"Apparently." Collins laughed. 

"Hey, speak for yourself!" Jason joked as he got up to go talk to Jen and Cass. 

They sat there, in silence for a minute or two before Joellen came by. "Hey guys, how was your holiday?"   
  
"Very nice. How about you Joellen?"

"Alright. You guys want to order or are you just drinking?"   
  
"I'm not sure, let me check with Jason." Collins got up and walked away.

"How about you Roger?"   
  
"Huh? Oh, no I'm not hungry."   
  
"Okay. Holler if you want more beer."  
  
"Yeah. Hey Joellen?"   
  
"Yes?"   
  
"What's going on between you and Mark?"   
  
"Nothing." She shrugged. 

"I can see that. I meant why? What happened?"   
  
"Nothing really." She sat down. "It's just, oh never mind, it's stupid." She started to get up but he grabbed her arm. 

"What?"   
  
"Okay, look, I know he's got this overprotective big brother thing for Cass. I mean I know about them, he told me and I'm fine with that. It was a long time ago, and well, she's been through hell and they're friends."   
  
"So what's the problem."   
  
"We weren't even really dating. Just hanging out. You know, friends with benefits."   
  
"So?"   
  
"So, even at that level, I wasn't up for the incredible competition."   
  
"What are you talking about?"   
  
"Fine." She looked at the bar. "I can't compete with that." She gestured her head towards a laughing Mark and Maureen. 

"What's to compete with? She's a lesbian. They're just friends." I hope.   


"Lesbian. Right." She said sarcastically. "Fine you really want to know? I can't compete with you either."   
  
"Me?"   
  
"Yes you. If you asked him to shave his head right now he'd do it. No questions asked."   
  
"I'm his best friend." Roger was getting defensive. 

"Right. Best friend. And she's a full time lesbian." She nodded towards Maureen again. "Look, forget it. Holler if you want food." She got up and walked towards the kitchen. 

Roger just sat there, stunned and confused. What the hell was her problem? What was she talking about? He wanted Mark to be happy, he just wasn't sure he was okay with happiness coming form Maureen. 

Granted he hated the way she treated him when they were dating. Even after they broke up. Treated him like some little lap dog or something. Mark keeps telling him how she's different. How she's changed. Why was he fighting believing that? Maybe she was different. Maybe she did change. Maybe… Why do you care so much?

Just then Cass came over. "You okay Babe?"   
  
"Uh huh. I was just thinking." He pulled her onto his lap and started playing with her hair. He suddenly realized she had straight hair. Long straight hair. Mimi and April had both had curly hair. Tons of curls that your fingers got lost in. He suddenly felt very guilty for thinking that and comparing Cass to either of them.

"Well don't hurt yourself." She joked, kissing him on the forehead. "Uh! I need food, I'm starving all of a sudden."   
  
"Shocking." Mark grinned, sitting down. 

"I'm allowed to eat, I'm pregnant." She told him, reaching for the nachos he brought from the bar.

"Hey don't you go to the doctor soon and find out what it is?" Jen asked.

"In December." Cass said grabbing more nachos. 

"I guess we need to order more of those." Mark told Maureen, referring to the plate of nachos they had been sharing.

"That when you get a sonogram?"   
  
"Uh huh."   
  
"That's the black and white funny shaped pictures right?" Jason asked, pouring himself a beer. 

"Yes, oh scientific brother of mine." Jen laughed. 

"Hey what do I know. But we get to find out what it is then? That will be cool."   
  
"You only find out what it is if it's facing the right way." Jen explained

"Yep. I bet we don't find out then anyway." Maureen told them, drinking her beer and looking at Roger.

"Why?" Collins asked, amused by the whole conversation. 

"First of all, it'll probably be camera shy." She explained. They all looked at her as she sipped her beer. "Well all it ever hears is 'Mark get that camera out of my face'."

Everyone but Roger, who wasn't paying attention laughed. Maureen, enjoying being the current center of attention, continued. "And like Jen said, it has to be facing the right way." Maureen shrugged. "Not sitting there sulking, back to everybody being stubborn and giving of attitude."   
  
"Mo behave." Mark laughed, as did just about everyone else but Roger. Luckily he was probably the only one that didn't realize Maureen was referring to him, however he also wasn't really listening by then. 

They ordered food and sat around talking. Around the time Joellen brought it out the conversation had moved back to Mark's sister. "So you guys snuck her into a bar?" Jen asked.   


"Well there wasn't a whole lot of sneaking needed. She just walked in with all of us."   
  
"God Mark, I can't believe she's that old." Collins laughed. 

"Yeah tell me about it." 

Cass laughed. "Mark show them the picture you've been caring around of her." He pulled it out of his wallet. "Oh she was mad when she found out he still thought of her as a seventh grader with braces, braids and ugly glasses."   
  
"Yeah she looks a little different now." He grinned. 

"She's got big plans too. Going to graduate June of next year, and head off right away to summer session at NYU." Cass let out a small laugh. 

"Sounds familiar." Collins smiled. 

"Yeah, I'm gonna hear shit if she tries to do that." Mark sighed. 

"Oh but the best was when their mom called on Molly's cell phone looking for her last night while we were at the bar. Right Roger?"   
  
"Huh? Oh yeah."   
  
"Glad that once again my life can prove amusing to you two."   


"So their mom calls, wanting to know where she is and she starts, 'But Mommy, but Mommy'. Finally to save her own butt, she yells out 'But Mommy I'm with Mark'!" Both she and Roger laughed at that. 

"That's right she didn't know you were going to Scarsdale did she?" Jen asked. 

"No, she didn't." Mark said dryly as he poured more beers. 

"Yeah, the look on his face was pretty good. Like a lamb about to be sent in for sacrifice." Roger commented

"So Molly throws the phone at him, gives him this pathetic, pleading look, he gives and gets stuck talking to his mom."   
  
"So not only did I hear crap about coming home after telling her I wasn't, but also for having Molly out a very loud restaurant at midnight."   
  
"Very loud restaurant?" Jen asked. 

"What? I'm gonna tell psycho mother I took her baby to a bar? With the Davis brothers? Are you nuts?"   
  
"Hey!" Roger yelled at him as they all laughed. 

"Oh my God! You know what I just realized?" Jen exclaimed, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"What?" Jason mocked her bouncing up and down. 

She stuck her tongue out at him and continued. "Christmas is exactly one month from today!"   
  
"Oh wow, you're right!" Maureen said. "Time to start shopping!" 

"Yeah? Whatcha getting me for Christmas Mo?" Mark teased. 

"Oh please!" She rolled her eyes at him. "Last year you gave me a hug for Christmas Mark."   
  
"You're kidding?" Cass laughed. 

"Oh it gets better!" Jen laughed. "Because Roger yells from across the room how that was from him too." 

Cass shook her head and laughed. "You two are pathetic. Cute and adorable, but completely pathetic."   
  
"So who's up for Christmas shopping?" Jen asked as all four guys groaned. 

"Suck it up you two," Cass told Mark and Roger, "we need to do some big time shopping this week."

"For what?" Roger groaned. 

"Stove, refrigerator, dishwasher…"   
  
"Dishwasher? We're getting a dishwasher?" Mark asked, obviously excited. 

"Yes Mark." Cass said, sipping Roger's beer. 

"You mean a real dishwasher? Like put dishes in and they come out clean? No more of Roger's dishes piled up in the sink? And on the counter? And on the stove?" 

"Well we still have to train him to actually put them into the dishwasher, but theoretically, yes just like that." Cass teased. 

"Ha ha." He grinned at her. "Forget the dishwasher, what we need is a washer and dryer. This going to the laundromat sucks."   
  
Mark just stared at him for a second before looking at the group of friends who knew what he was thinking. "Tell me Roger Davis did not just say that." Everyone but Roger laughed. 

"What's so funny?" He demanded. 

"Only that, in all the years I've known you, you _never _go to the laundromat. I honestly believe you think the laundry fairy just magically produced clean clothes for you."   
  
"I do laundry."   
  
"Well, you go with me." Cass grinned. "But I do the laundry."   
  
"I can't remember the last time you took our laundry to the laundromat by yourself." Mark laughed. "I mean is there anyone at this table who hasn't done your laundry?" Everyone shook their head to "I've done it." And "me too." 

"You're crazy Mark." 

"Uh huh. You convinced everyone over the years. It truly is a talent I have to say." Mark started sipping his beer. "I mean me and Cass is one thing. But to be able to convince Maureen, Collins, Jason and Jen too?" 

"Don't forget Joanne. She stopped by and picked it up once on her way."   
  
"Right. Oh and Benny's done you're laundry and Alison. But that was more she was doing Benny's and you threw yours in."   
  
"I forgot about that." Collins laughed. 

"Oh and he's even taken it to the bar for Krystal to do."   
  
"I've taken it to the bar for Tina, the waitress to do." Roger grinned. 

"Oh you are pathetic Roger!" Cass teased, shifting off his lap. 

  
"No I'm not. Just talented." He gave her a cheesy grin. 

"You must have been something. He knew April two days and he had her doing both our laundry."   
  
"Oh and don't forget Mimi." Maureen laughed. "They'd argue and she'd end up at the laundromat, cursing in Spanish."   
  
"Really?" Cass gave a small laugh. 

Roger just shrugged. "It made her feel better sometimes. I don't know."   
  
Cass could tell the conversation had hit a point for him and wanted to move on. "So anyway, we need to go buy appliances this week. And considering we should be able to move back upstairs in like two weeks, we'll be back upstairs for Christmas!" She said obviously excited. 

"I can't wait to see the place when it's done. It's going to be strange." Collins shook his head. 

"Well it won't be done, but it'll be livable. We'll still have to paint and finish the kitchen and the two new bathrooms."  
  
"He's right though," Mark agreed, "it is going to be strange."   
  
"Yes but we can have Christmas there! We'll get a tree and decorations and all sorts of stuff!" Cass bubbled. 

They all went on talking about Christmas. Who was going to do what. Actually getting a tree. Mark tried to convince Cass to get them a Playstation. Cass told them no. They kept laughing and talking about trees and presents and Christmas dinner and shopping and things like that. 

Roger hadn't really thought too much about Christmas. Christmas reminded him of Mimi. But it seemed to make Cass so happy at the same time. He wanted to make her happy. If that meant pushing all that out of his mind, he would for Cass. Mimi would have understood. She would have wanted them all to have a good Christmas.


	67. 67

Chapter 67

"Baby wake up." Cass whispered into his ear. "You need to take your pills, then you can go back to sleep." Just then his watch beeped and she reached over and silenced it. He sat up some, swallowing the pills in her hand with the juice she handed him. "Go back to sleep, I'll wake you up later." She kissed his forehead and went to get up. 

He couldn't remember what he dreamed all last night, he just knew he didn't like it. And he knew he felt alone all night. He grabbed her hard and pulled her back to him. "Come lay down with me."   
  
"Roger I'm doing stuff."   
  
"Please." He pleaded with his eyes. "Just a little while. Till I fall asleep."   
  
She couldn't resist him and he knew it she thought. Cass lay down next to him, surprised at how almost needily he wrapped his arms around her. At first she thought he was looking to get lucky and she gave him a small grin. But as he pulled her close she realized it was more that that. He didn't want sex, he just wanted her there with him. She wrapped her arms around him as well, helping him pull her close. "Shhh, go to sleep Baby." She told him lightly running her fingers over his cheek and through his hair. 

"Okay." He snuggled into her. "I gotta work at nine tonight." 

"Okay Baby." She stoked his hair, thinking back to last night. It was after three when he got home and close to four when he finally fell asleep. When he did fall asleep last night, it wasn't good. He woke her up a few times, tossing around and mumbling in his sleep. She kept stroking his hair till she heard his breathing deepen and even out. After a few minutes she tried to crawl out of his arms. It took a few tries, and finally after shifting the pillow up against him she was able to crawl off the end of the bed.

"Where have you been?" Mark asked as she came into the living room, currently doubling as Mark's bedroom. 

"I laid down with him." She told him plopping down next to him on his bed. 

"Watch it!" He grabbed at the pile of manuscripts that started to topple as she sat down next to him on the twin bed. "What, the big baby having nightmares or just trying to get you back into bed?" He teased. He really didn't mean it badly and he'd never tease Roger to his face like that. If anyone was entitled to nightmares, it was Roger. 

"He didn't sleep well last night, leave him alone."   
  
"He was in a weird mood yesterday at the Life. What's up with that?"   
  
"I don't know, he didn't say anything to me, but you're right. Plus he was mumbling in his sleep all night."   
  
"Yeah I heard him. Give him a chance, he'll tell you when he's ready."   
  
"I know." Cass flipped through the TV channels as Mark poured over the screenplays he had just gotten. "What do you think I should get him for Christmas Marky?"   
  
"Maybe a Playstation?"   
  
Cass grinned. "Sounds more like a Mark present."   
  
"Hey there's an idea." He tickled her. 

"Forget it, I'm not getting you a Playstation." She giggled as she slapped his hand. "I'm serious. He wouldn't let me get him a birthday present."   
  
"That's because you had just bought him boots, a jacket and clothes."   
  
"Well he needed them. Speaking of which, we are buying you a new coat this week. But what do you thing I should get him?"   
  
"I don't know. Let me think about it." He told her going back to his manuscripts.

After another hour they heard Roger getting up. "Hey Baby. You want a bagel? They're fresh."   
  
"Sure." He plopped down next to her on the bed, sending Mark's stacks of papers flying. 

"Sorry." He laid his head in her lap. "What time is it?"   
  
"12:30. Let me up I'll make you a bagel." She got up as he shifted and went to the kitchen. "Marky you want another one?" 

"I'll spit one with you."   
  
"Okay. Izzy called Roger. He said you don't need to work tonight, it's covered."   
  
"Good. Thanks Baby." He took the bagel from her. 

"Well eat up, take a shower and then we can go shopping." She said sitting down next to him. 

"For what?"   
  
"Refrigerator, stove, dishwasher, washer and dryer. I researched it all. We're going to two stores. Depending on what they say, we either order it there or over the internet. Either way I want to look at them."   
  
"If I have to I guess."   
  
"Yes you do." She kissed his cheek. "We can get some Christmas decorations too while we're out."   
  
Christmas. Here we go again he thought. He didn't even want to deal with it, but looking at Cass, she seemed so excited. He couldn't let her down. She was going on and on about how they can get a tree and stockings and have a real Christmas, with cookies and candy canes and presents and stuff like that. He heard her saying how the last couple of years she and Gia had just gone to some beach in France. How her father never even remembered to call her last year. He just sent her a check. Granted a five thousand-dollar check, but still. He couldn't get over how excited she was, bouncing around the tiny room. 

He watched her, going on and on. Talking about wanting to do all sorts of New York Christmas stuff. She was back in the kitchen when the phone rang. "I'll get it!" She called to them, though neither Mark or Roger had moved for it. 

When she started laughing and rattling off in French Mark picked up another pile of papers, tossing Roger the remote. "Here, we're not leaving anytime soon I guess."   
  
He heard Marguerite's name and agreed with Mark, flipping channels as Cass dragged the phone into the bedroom. 

"Rog you okay?" Mark asked him looking up from his papers. 

"What? Yeah I'm fine." He said gruffly. 

  
Mark raised an eyebrow. "I see." 

"No I am." His voice softened. "It's just, just… never mind." 

Mark looked at him for a second. "Yeah I know." He said softly. "I miss her too." He sighed. "I guess Christmas will always make us think of Mimi huh?"  
  
Roger didn't look up, he just played with the edge of the blanket they were sitting on. 

"You know Cass hasn't really had Christmas since she was little. Since her mom died." Mark told him, watching him study the blanket the whole time. "The first couple of years her dad worked. He wasn't even home. After that she just stayed at boarding school over break."   
  
"Yeah?" Roger asked quietly. 

"Yup. After her uncle got married, they brought her home, but they just dumped her and Anton on the maid or something. Even after they moved to LA she ended up spending holidays with him, and well, we know how that turned out." Mark's voice trailed off as he watched Roger's grip on the blanket tighten. 

"Anyway, you know she met Paulie, spent a couple years with him, so at least she was sort of away from Anton I guess, but those were coke parties…"   
  
"Yeah I know."   
  
"And then she spent Christmas at that rehab place, and after that, she's always just hung out with Gia."   
  
"What's your point Mark?" He wasn't angry, he just didn't understand. 

"I don't know." Mark shrugged. "Look I guess I just know how you are, and well, don't get mad at me okay?"   
  
"Just say it Mark."   
  
"I know Christmas is not exactly your most favorite holiday, and you're entitled to that. Just try okay? For Cass. Can you do that? Please?"   
  
Roger sighed and finally looked up from the blanket. "Yeah I know. I don't want to ruin it for her at all, its just kinda hard."   
  
"I know. And she does too. Well sort of. She may not completely realize it. I mean that's not her fault though, she wasn't around. But I'll talk to her if you want me too."   
  
"No, it's okay. I want her to have a good Christmas. All of us. Mimi would want that."   
  
Mark smiled at him. "Yeah she would I think." They just sat there for a second before he spoke again. "You, uh, got any idea what you're gonna get her for Christmas?"   
  
He sat up against the wall and sighed again. "Not really. Maybe a necklace. You ever watch her? Always grabbing at her neck?" Mark nodded. "I couldn't figure out for the longest time what she was doing." He got a slight grin on his face. "Then I saw Krystal do it. She's looking for her necklace. Her mom's cross, the one that got well, lost."   
  
"Oh that makes so much sense! I never thought of that. She never took it off when she spent that summer with me." 

"I figured she wore it all the time." Roger told him, flipping the channel. "I'll have to pick up some extra shifts from Izzy so I've got enough money for a nice one."   
  
"Cass will give you the money."   
  
Roger just looked at him. "No I'm not letting her buy her own present. I don't want you getting money from her for that either. I'll give it to you if you need it. Understand?"   
  
"Yeah. She won't mind though. You know every year she usually gives away a big chunk of her trust fund. And not really for tax reasons. That's just Cass." 

"Yeah I know. I still don't like it though. I mean she is gonna drop a couple of thousand dollars today buying us a refrigerator and stuff. Not to mention, buying this place and what it's costing to renovate the loft."   
  
"Yeah but it's not just for us remember, it's for her too. And like I said, it's not just for you and me."   
  
"I know, it still bothers me thought."   
  
"Well get over it. I like having food. And I'm really looking forward to coming home to real heat!" He laughed. 

"Yeah I guess." He picked up the remote again, trying to make himself relax. "There is nothing but crap on TV."   
  
"Big surprise!" Mark laughed again before getting serious. "Um, Rog?"   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"You ever consider taking Cass to a show? Like on Broadway or something?"   
  
Roger looked at him blankly, realizing that was about the last thing he had ever considered. "No. Why? Did she say she wanted me too?"  
  
"Oh no, not at all. It's just, well, I promised her I would take her. You know, that summer and well, I never did."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"Well I guess I wanted to know if it was okay with you. If I did that. Like maybe for Christmas?"   
  
Roger laughed at that. "You want to know if it's okay to take my girlfriend out on a date huh?"   
  
Mark grinned. "Pretty much, yeah I guess."   
  
"Go ahead! Have fun!" He laughed as she stood up. "I'm going to take a shower." 

***************

By two that afternoon they were ready to leave. Cass dragged them through a few appliance stores, armed with info and bargaining with sales people. After getting a really good deal on all five appliances, with free delivery to the fourth floor for that matter, they were off again. 

They found a new coat for Mark as well as two new sweaters. She convinced him to buy Hanukkah presents for both his parents and sisters, not to mention his nieces. After that they started looking at Christmas stuff.

By then Roger was pretty well shopped out but he kept going with her. She talked about trees and looked at ornaments. He couldn't make himself excited but he tried to not be a total grouch. 

  
The more they did the more he thought of Mimi. The more he did that, the guiltier he felt. She picked out stockings and he remembered Mimi doing that one year for him and Mark. She jokingly called him a scrooge and he thought back to how Mimi used to say "Bah humbug" to him. She looked at angels, which of course made him think of Angel. And Mimi.

After awhile he couldn't take it any more. The battle that was ragging in his brain was killing him. He loved them both so much, but he felt like he was two timing both of them. 

Cass walked back over to where he stood, looking at an ornament of a young couple dancing in the moonlight. She held it up for him to see and smiled at him. But the look on his face confused her. "Roger are you okay?"   
  
"Yeah I, no, I, I, I gotta go see Izzy." He told her with desperate eyes. 

"But he said you didn't need to work tonight."   
  
"I know, I just, something came up." He grabbed her, hugging her close. "I just gotta go. I'll see you tonight. Later."   
  
"Okay. If you're sure." She said confused. "Do you want me to come with you?"   
  
"No I gotta go take care of this myself. I'm sorry. I love you Cass, I really do." And before she could answer he bolted out the door. 

Mark pushed the cart filled with lights and ornaments and things over to where she was standing. "Where is he going?" He saw Roger's back as he almost ran out the door. 

"I, I don't know." She told him, fighting back tears. "He just said he had to go. To see Izzy or something. And then he left." Her lip started to quiver. "What did I do?"   


Oh crap! Mark hugged her. "You didn't do anything. Roger's just being Roger." He took one arm off her and started to push the cart and pull her along. "Don't cry Cass, it's not your fault. Roger's just got to work through some stuff. Come on, let's get this stuff, we'll take it home and I'll take you out to dinner. I'll explain it all to you. Okay Sweetie?" He kissed her cheek. 

They got a cab home and dropped everything off in the loft. Stopping off in their temporary place to check the machine incase he called, Mark realized it was already 9:00PM. "Where do you want to eat Cass?"   
  
"I don't care."   
  
He couldn't help but notice the defeated tone in her voice as she stared at the floor. She hadn't sounded like that since the first couple of weeks after she got here. Mark took her to the burrito place a couple of blocks away. There was little chance of running into anyone there. They talked and about Christmas and Roger and Mimi and everything. While Mark was annoyed at Roger for acting like that, at the same time he couldn't be mad at him. He understood what he was going through. 

"God I'm such an insensitive bitch!" Cass told him, picking at her food. 

"No you're not. And remember who we're talking about here too. Roger's not exactly Mr. Sensitivity either you know."   
  
"Sure he is." She defended him. 

That made Mark smile. "Okay. Look all I'm saying is give him a little space and time. He'll tell you when he's ready. And don't take it personal. Okay?"   
  
"I know. I know he loved Mimi. And I know he misses her. And I don't want to begrudge him that. He loves me, I know that, I just wish he'd talk to me instead of taking off."   
  
"Well, Roger's not much of a talker. At least out loud. He has complete conversations, debate and arguments in his head. If I could get him to run his mouth instead of just plain running he'd be so much better off."   
  
She slowly nodded her head. "You know I do love him."   
  
"I know you do."   
  
"And I know he's got a few faults, but I still love him even with them."   
  
"A _few_ faults?" Mark looked at her then grinned. "Yeah I know what you mean. Come on let's go home." 

*******************

Mark unlocked the door and let Cass into the tiny apartment. Right away they could hear soft guitar music coming form the bedroom. "Just talk to him." Mark whispered as he kissed her on the forehead. 

Cass dropped her jacket on the chair and waked into the room. He was sitting on the bed, leaning against the wall. His eyes were closed and he had that super intense look on his face that he got when he was working hard on a song. He didn't hear her open the door so she just watched him for another minute or two until he was finished. 

"Hey." She said softly, causing him to look up. 

"Hey." He set the guitar down and got up off the bed, meeting her at the door. "I'm really sorry." He said quietly, looking out into the living room and seeing Mark, who had turned on the TV and was starting to sort through his piles of paper again. 

"I know you are." She told him, not meeting his eyes. 

He reached out and pushed her chin up, making her look at him. "I…" Mark started flipping channels on the TV. "You wanna go for a walk?"   
  
"Okay."   
  
Roger threw on his jacket as he walked out of the bedroom and picked Cass' coat up, helping her put it on. Mark looked up but didn't say anything as they stepped out the door. Neither of them spoke until they reached the street. Once they started walking Roger took a deep breath. "I'm really sorry Cass."   
  
"I know Roger."   
  
"I shouldn't have taken off like that."   
  
"No, you shouldn't have. You should have talked to me."   
  
Roger stopped walking and for the first time since they started he reached out and touched her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eye. "Cass, I love you, you know that right? I mean I really love you, but I had to work some stuff out in my brain. I never meant to hurt you. I just needed some time to think. I'm really sorry Baby."   
  
"I know Roger. And it's okay. I just wish you'd talk to me instead of running off."   
  
He took her hand and they started walking again. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm just not real good at talking."   
  
She looked up at him and smiled. "You're doing pretty good now."

"Yeah." He grinned. "I guess." He looked into her eyes. Something about girl's eyes. That's what always made him fall in love. 

"Roger you can tell me anything. I'll listen to whatever you need to say. No matter what." Her eyes bore into his. When she spoke again her voce was low and soft. "Even if it's about Mimi."   
  
Roger stopped waling and put his arms around her kissing her, right there on the sidewalk. "I love you Cass. More than I ever thought possible. I really do."   
  



	68. 68

Chapter 68

Frustrated, Mark moved his pile of notes and papers and got up to answer the door. 

"Hey Marky! Where is everyone?" Ginny asked, walking in and setting a very large pot on the stove. 

"Hey. Roger's out still and Cass is next door with Jen and Maureen. What's that?"   
  
"Beef stew. Saw my grandma again. Figured you all could use a meal, as usual."   
  
"Cool." Mark opened the lid. "Thanks."   
  
"Relax, it's gotta heat up. Leslie will be down in like fifteen minutes too. What are they doing at Jen's?"   
  
"I don't know." He shrugged. The door was open still and he could hear Jason and Collins coming up the steps. "Hey you guys, Ginny brought food." He called out the door. 

  
"Sounds good!" Collins said as they entered. "Hey Ginny. How's school?"   
  
"Almost over." She grinned. "Two Friday's from today is my last exam, then I just take my nursing boards. But that's not till January." 

  
"Are you nervous?" Jason asked, looking in the pot.

"Yes and no. I mean I know I know this stuff, and I score great on my computer practice tests. But once I'm done, everything changes."   
  
"What do you mean?" Mark asked. 

"Well I go from being nursing school student stripper to just plain nurse. Hopefully at least. That's one reason I'm here. I needed contact with people who aren't either freaked out from studying or aren't sick and in the hospital. I needed a break form whining and complaining."   
  
"Oh sorry," Mark teased, "didn't I tell you Maureen's here?"   
  
"You're so bad Cohen." She grinned. "I'd tell her you said that but we all know you'd like the punishment she'd give you way too much." She winked at him. "I'm gonna run upstairs. Stir that every now and then." Ginny turned and headed out.

"I love her grandmother." Jason said, stirring the pot.

"You've never even met her grandmother, you're just starving." Collins laughed.

"That's true. So what's up Mark?" Jason pulled two beers from the fridge, handing one to Collins. "I called you this afternoon. My department meeting was cancelled, wanted to see if you wanted lunch. Where was everyone?"   
  
Mark began pulling bowls out of the cupboard. "Well I was meeting with this guy about a new film, and I forgot my phone. But Roger was meeting with his new agent."  
  
"Agent?"   
  
"Yeah," Mark grinned. "Trey, Izzy's cousin, his manager set it up. The label Trey plays with is actually buying some of Roger's songs. It's so cool!"   
  
Collins couldn't help but think how Mark sounded so proud and excited. You would have thought one of his films won an Oscar. "That's great. Is it really past the talk stage?"   
  
"Yep. He was on the phone with Joanne for a long time the other day. Basically she told him some things to ask the guys and what to watch for, but she knows someone in the legal department at the label. She said he should be fine. I wish he'd hurry up and get home!"   
  
Collins looked around the tiny apartment. He could tell Mark had been arranging and rearranging his papers all afternoon. He had to stop himself form laughing out loud. "Is Cass with him?"   
  
"No she's at Jen's. She had to meet with Elizabeth today." Mark tried to straighten out his mess. "Maybe we should eat over there."   
  
"Maybe." Collins agreed. "How often is she seeing her still?"   
  
Dropping onto the mattress he looked up at Collins. "She's only going once every two weeks. Which means she's better I guess, but I would have thought she'd be done by now."   
  
"Well it's only been what, three, three and a half months? She's been through a lot Mark. You can't just say give me ten sessions of therapy and boom you're cured."   
  
"Yeah I guess. She just seems okay though."   
  
"Well, she is okay. But like I said, she went through a lot. And she's got a 24-hour a day reminder of it growing inside her. She's got to learn to live with that."   
  
"Yeah," Jason agreed. "Plus she dates Roger. That right there is enough to put you in therapy! Not to mention the fact that she lives with the two of you!" He started laughing. 

"Oh you are so funny Sumner!" Mark stuck out his tongue as Jen walked in the door.

"Hey." She said to the three of them as she headed straight for the fridge. "I need a beer. Or a strong drink. Or to have my head examined!"   
  
After the previous conversation all three guys started laughing at her last statement. "What's the matter Jennifer?" Jason asked her. 

"Oh nothing, except that I'm supposedly teaching Cass how to cook. And Maureen is helping me." She rolled her eyes at that, causing the guys to all start to laugh again. 

"I take it that it is not going particularly well?" Collins asked. 

"Uh, no." 

"Well it couldn't get worse than the other day." Mark laughed. 

"This is true." Jen shook her head as she laughed. When she realized her brother and Collins had no idea what they found so funny she explained. "The other day I told her how to make a chicken. I had to go out, so I wrote what I thought were very simple, yet explicit directions. I mean it was only a roasted chicken for god sake! Chicken a few vegetables and you put it in the oven." She stopped to laugh. "So anyway, she was supposed to put four _cloves _of garlic in the chicken, she put four _heads _of garlic in the chicken." 

"Really?" Collins let out a small laugh. "That must have been an interesting tasting chicken."   
  
"Oh we couldn't eat it!" Mark roared.

"Yes well, she was also supposed to cover the chicken in olive oil."   
  
"Which she did." Mark continued laughing. 

"I suppose you could say that. What I meant was of course just pat some olive oil on the chicken so it browns nicely. She went next door, got my stew pot, put the chicken with the four heads of garlic into the pot and covered it with olive oil." She realized they didn't get it so she explained further to the sound of Mark trying to catch his breath he was laughing so hard. "She dumped an entire can of olive oil into the pot. That chicken could have done the backstroke it was floating it so much oil!"

"You did say cover it." Mark managed to say between fits of laugher.

"You're kidding?" Jason laughed, picturing the whole thing. "Did she try and cook it?"   
  
"Well she put it into the oven, luckily Roger came home about ten minutes later, so the oil hadn't gotten that hot yet. Its scary thinking Roger knows more about cooking than someone." Jen grinned.

"This is true." Collins laughed. "So what is she cooking today?" 

"Hopefully Christmas cookies. I mean their only cookies, not brain surgery. However I told Cass to separate two eggs. So she did. She put one in one bowl and one in another. And I think she may have gotten the baking soda and baking powder confused. So we'll see what happens. Oh and Maureen hasn't done a thing but get in the way." 

"Shocking!" Mark roared again, holding his side he was still laughing so hard. He composed himself together enough to tell her about the beef stew, write a note to Roger and tape it to the door before they all headed over to Jen's where the smell of burnt cookies was permeating the room.

Cass was taking the tray out of the oven. "I don't know what happened. We just checked them a few minutes ago." 

"You were supposed to be _helping_ her Maureen." Jen said somewhat sternly. "Just get out of the kitchen. Both of you."

Jason and Mark tried stifling their laughter as one opened the window and the other swung the door back and forth a few times trying to air out the room. Just as Ginny and Leslie came downstairs, Roger got back, brandishing an actual record label contract for three of his songs. After all the questions and excitement over Roger's new found success they finally settled down to eat. 

"How much longer till you move back upstairs?"   
  
"Another week, maybe two." Cass told Jen. 

"I don't know how you guys are all living in that apartment. Jen and I about made each other crazy when I lived with her those first six month I was in New York."   
  
"Yeah it's a little tight, but it's only for a few weeks." Mark told them. 

"Ha! That's what Jason told me. 'It's only for a few weeks Jen, really'. A few weeks turned into just over six months." She shook her head. "I don't know how you live with him Collins."   
  
Collins shrugged then grinned. "It's easy. You have to remember, I used to live with them." He pointed at Roger, Mark and Maureen. "And don't forget Benny. After living with them Jason is no problem."   
  
"Hey!" Maureen pouted. "I am not difficult to live with!"   
  
"Ha!" Mark almost yelled, causing Roger and Collins to crack up. 

  
"Is she kidding?" Roger laughed. 

"Oh shut up! Both of you." She pouted taking her bowl to the kitchen. "You know you two weren't that easy to live with either."   
  
"What?" Roger laughed. "We're real easy to live with."   
  
"Yeah, we're no problem at all. Right Collins?" Mark asked him. 

"Um, well," Collins stood up. "Anybody want another beer?" He asked to the laughter of the rest of the room.   
  
"Hey!" Roger yelled. 

"See." Maureen said smugly as everyone else laughed.

"Cass tell them." Mark whined. 

"Uh, okay Sweetie." She looked at everyone and smiled. "They are not difficult to live with. Not at all." She teased. 

"Hey!" Mark yelled throwing a balled up napkin at her. 

Roger grabbed her. "Oh you're gonna get it now!" He started tickling her. 

"Roger! Let me go!" She struggled while laughing. After a minute he let her go to catch her breath. "Just for that I should make you go shopping with us tomorrow."   
  
"He is not going shopping with us!" Maureen announced. 

"You got that right!" He told her. "What could you possibly be shopping for now?"   
  
"Christmas silly. We have twenty five days to go!"  
  
"Uh huh." Roger nodded, rolling his eyes. 

  
"And we'll be back upstairs by then. And I'm cooking dinner on Christmas!" She grinned. 

"You are?" Mark's head shot up, wide eyed. 

"Yes I am. I mean a turkey is just a big chicken. That's why I made the practice one the other day." 

"Oh God." Mark grumbled.

"Um, Babe?" Roger asked her. "Are you sure that's such a great idea?"   
  
"Oh hush up you two! Jen's teaching me how to cook. And so is Maureen." She grinned.

"Oh God!" Mark exclaimed to the nasty look he got from Maureen. 

Cass ignored him and continued. "I'm not exactly dumb you know. I think I'll be able to handle it by then. As long as I have clear instructions it should be fine. The other day was just a misunderstanding." 

"Well it will be interesting to say the least." Roger grinned at her. 

"Hey! I'm doing very well thank you. Just ask Jen." Everyone looked to Jennifer. 

"Uh, yeah. Well, true I guess I should have been clearer on that whole chicken thing. Who would have thought you'd think I meant pour in enough oil to cover the chicken?" She let out a small laugh. "And the cookies, well the non burnt one, are well, interesting. But hey, I'm an optimist. And a miracle worker. Eh," she shrugged, "who knows, I got almost a month." 

Maureen was about to ask if anyone wanted another beer when she heard a knock at the door, which was still partly open. "Yes?"

"Yeah, um, I'm looking for Cass. The note upstairs said to take delivers over there, but the note over there said she was here."   
  
Maureen looked the guy up and down as he spoke. He was pale and thin and real tired looking. And something about him reminded her of Roger's old friends from his junkie days. "Um, hold on."   
  
"Look is she here or not? I don't have much time." He said anxiously, and louder. Loud enough for the others to hear him this time. 

Jason, who was sitting closest to the door and heard him say he was looking for Cass got up and walked over. "What do you want her for."   
  
By now everyone's attention had turned towards the door. Everyone's but Cass, who had heard the voice and pulled her knees up to her chest, trying to disappear into the couch. 

Roger got up and went to the door next to Jason. Maureen happily moved out of his way and went to sit next to Cass. 

"What do you want?" Roger asked gruffly, eyeing the guy up and down. Roger could tell he was strung out immediately. 

"I just gotta talk to Cass. Tell her its Brian. Tell her it's about Renee. It's important. 

Roger just glared at him for a second before turning to Cass. "Let him in." She said softly. 

Roger opened the door the rest of the way, letting him step in. Everyone could tell by the look on Brian's face he wasn't expecting eight people to be sitting there. Everyone but Cass was staring at him. She was staring at her knees. Brian stepped into the apartment, looking around at everyone. 

Cass pulled her knees in tighter to her chest and looked at him. It had been over four years since she had seen him. She couldn't believe how bad he looked. "How did you know where to find me?"   
  
"Um, Paulie. He, uh, found you for me. It just sort of worked out that you were in New York too." He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "Yeah so, um Paulie, he, ah, called Anton and Anton gave him your address."   
  
"Anton?" Her voice was almost inaudible. 

Mark looked up at her from the floor then he looked at Roger who had crossed his arms over his chest, looking quite mean. And big. And looking for a fight. And the opportunity to beat the absolute crap out of Anton or anyone having anything to do with him. Mark stood up incase he needed to jump between Roger and the guy, but he wasn't comply sure he would do it even if the situation ended up calling for it. 

"What do you want?" Roger asked him again. 

Brian ignored Roger's question as he looked at Cass. He couldn't get over how different she looked. "You, um, look real good Cass. Way better than the last time I saw you." He shifted uncomfortably as he felt every pair of eyes bore into him. 

Cass stared at him for a second. She felt all the fear and anger and hatred she had pushed down for so many years start to bubble up. She let go of her legs and sat up straighter and glared at him. "When was that Brian? At the party? When they were cutting me out of the car? Because it wasn't in the hospital. And it sure as hell wasn't when they put me in that place!" Her voice had gone icy cold. 

Brian stared down at his feet. When he finally spoke it was very quite. "I'm sorry Cass. I mean you're right. We should have done something and we didn't." He looked her square in the eye. "We fucked up. I fucked up. And I'm sorry. But I'm sorry about a lot of shit, and at the moment, you're not my first priority!"   
  
The room was silent as everyone watched the showdown between the two of them. "What do you want Brian? What's so damn important that you wait four frigging years and then have Paulie of all people track me down? What?" She stood up, arms crossed. 

"Fuck!" He shook his head. "Look, I said I was fucking sorry!" He yelled at her, getting in her face. He saw Roger, Mark and Jason all step closer to him and he pulled back some. "I…" He lowered his voice as a desperate look come over his face. "Renee wants to see you. That's why Paulie tracked you down." His eyes went back down to the floor. "Cass she fucked up her heart big time with the coke. They even put her on a list for a transplant. But it's too late now. She got an infection and it went to her heart. She won't live through the weekend. We came out to New York to see her dad. For fucking Thanksgiving and now she's gonna die."   
  
No one moved. Cass stared at Brian. Brian stared at the floor. Everyone else in the tiny apartment stared at the two of them.

"I gotta go. I gotta get back. Before her father tries to have me kicked out again." Brian said softly. "Or before anything else happens." He paused, still staring at the floor. "She wanted to see you Cass. They said they'd throw Paulie in jail if we did anything. I couldn't risk that, for obvious reasons." He sighed. "I'm sorry, but please, it's not Renee's fault. She just wants to see you. I think to say she's sorry, even though it's my fault. Mine and Paulie's. She just…" His voice broke into a sob. "Please Cass. She's at Mt. Sinai. Three west. Terminal wing. They've got 24 hour visitation."   
  
He turned around to walk out, finding Roger and Jason right in his way. Neither of them moved. Brian sighed, stepped around them and walked out the door, leaving Cass standing in the middle of the room. 

Cass watched him walk out the door. She backed up and fell back down onto the couch, pulling her knees up to her chest. 

  
"What do you want to do Cass?" Mark asked her sitting back down on the floor at her and Maureen's feet. 

"I, I don't know." She finally said, looking up and seeing everyone staring at her. Suddenly the tiny apartment already quite full with nine people sitting in it started to get even smaller. The walls started to close in on her and it suddenly got extremely hot in there. She couldn't breath, couldn't get any air into her lungs. She stood up, way to quick, seeing spots before her eyes. "I… I…"

Ginny saw her sway and realized she was hyperventilating. "Come on." She stood up, taking Cass by the arm and leading her back next door. Everyone started to follow them until Ginny yelled for them all to stay there and no one moved except for Roger.

"Baby are you okay?" He asked, grabbing her around the waist, trying to support her. 

"I … I can't…"   
  
"Roger open the door." Ginny said. "Cass you're just hyperventilating. Try and relax." Roger opened the door and walked Cass to the couch, kneeling down next to her. 

  
"Make her put her head between her knees Roger." Ginny was digging around in the kitchen.

"Come on Baby, just relax. Put your head down." He reached up and gently pushed her head towards her knees. "Just breathe Baby, it's okay." He could tell she was totally freaked out not being able to breathe right. Mark had had panic attacks and hyperventilated before. It always freaked Roger out. He knew it never helped Mark, so freaking out now would certainly not help Cass, whose face was turning bright red. "Ginny! Will you do something already?" He kept stroking Cass' hair with one hand, while Cass was squeezing his other hand in both of hers. Her knuckles were turning white she had such a grip on him. 

Finally Ginny found a bag holding a few bagels. She dumped them out on the counter. "Here. Cass just breathe into this. Try to slow down."   
  
After a few minutes Cass could breath again. Ginny left the two of them talking and went back next door. 

"What's going on?" Mark jumped off the couch as she walked in. 

"Is she okay?" Maureen, right by his side. 

"Yeah she's fine." Ginny told them, picking up her bowl of stew. "She just hyperventilated. Freaked out a little. Said the room was closing in on her. Not surprising. Everyone staring at her and breathing down her neck."   
  
"But she's okay?"   
  
"She's fine. Just totally freaked out."   
  
"Maybe I should check on them."   
  
"Maybe you should sit down and let Collins check on them." Maureen told Mark.

Collins nodded, got up and went next door. He came back a few minutes later, carrying Jason and Mark's coats. "Come on, they are going to the hospital."   
  
"What are we doing?" Jason asked him, putting on his coat. 

"We're going to make sure Roger doesn't do anything stupid. Or get arrested."   
  
"Got it." He downed the last of his soda and headed into the hall. 

"Marky," Maureen called to him as he stood in the doorway. "Call me and let me know everything is alright. Or if you need anything. Okay?"   
  
"Yeah. Thanks Mo." With that he left.


	69. 69

A/N Okay, I was asked to explain who Brian is. Well, he was mentioned sort of in passing earlier in the story, you're not really supposed to remember him. Who he is and what's going on gets explained in this chapter, so don't worry. But as usual, if you're ever confused please email me and I'll be happy to explain. I know sometimes there is a lag between posts or since a person has been mentioned and characters get forgotten. So just let me know. 

Chapter 69

The cab pulled up in front of the hospital. Jason got out of the front and opened up the back door, helping Cass out who had been sitting on Roger's lap. They all waited out front as Mark paid the cab driver. "Okay, we're all set." Mark said, stepping up to them as they started to walk inside. 

"Um, wait a minute." Roger said, causing everyone to pause. He looked at Cass. She was wearing jeans and one of his old long sleeve sweatshirts with his old leather jacket over it. She didn't look pregnant, not at all. Especially not dressed like that. But just the other day he was teasing her that her flat runner's stomach was getting a little pudge. Even if she had put on weight, none of these people had seen her for years, so they wouldn't know what she looked like when she got to New York anyway. His arm tightened around her waist. "Um, listen when we get up there, nobody mention Cass is pregnant."   
  
"Probably a good idea." Collins agreed. 

"Mark? Can you handle that this time?" Roger asked him. 

"Yes. Don't worry. Let's just go."   
  
They headed inside. Collins got directions and they went upstairs. As they stepped off the elevator into the waiting area, Roger felt Cass tense up as she looked around the room. 

"You okay Baby?" He whispered in her ear. She nodded. "You want me to go with you?"   
  
"No I need to do this on my own." She told him, but the grip she had on his hand never loosened. She slowly headed out of the waiting area towards the hall Renee's room was on. Roger was walking with her when she suddenly stopped. He heard her catch her breath and looked up to see what caused it. Two guys came around the corner. Roger watched the smile come across the taller one's face when he saw Cass. He motioned to the other guy who nodded and smiled. They headed into the waiting area and sat down. Roger saw Brian come out of a room and head towards the two guys. He stopped when he saw Cass. 

"Hey." He said to her not looking at her face. "I'm glad you came. It'll really make Renee happy Cass." She only nodded. "Come on, I'll take you in."   
  
Cass looked at Roger, still holding her hand. "I'm right here Baby." He kissed her forehead. 

"I know." She paused, looking back in to the waiting area at the two guys. "Just don't do anything. Please?"   
  
"Yeah Baby. I promise." He glared over at the two guys, knowing that was what she was talking about. 

Cass gave his hand one last squeeze before letting it go and following Brian. Roger watched her slowly walk away. He couldn't put to words what she was feeling at that moment, but he would have done anything to take it away from her. He walked over and sat down next to Mark, running his hands over his face. 

"You okay Rog? You want some crappy coffee or anything?" Jason asked. 

"No." He sighed. "I hate fucking hospitals." He almost spit the words out. 

Collins realized the words were directed at the two guys across the room. The one kept looking at Roger who kept glaring back at him. "Who are those guys?"   
  
"Better question," Jason asked, "who was the guy that came to the apartment?"   
  
Roger looked to Mark for answers. Mark sat back in his chair. He looked around the room. "Okay. I think the tall guy is Paulie, her ex-boyfriend. I mean I've only seen a few pictures of him, but I'm pretty sure. I don't know who the guy with him is. Brian, the guy that came to the apartment, he's Paulie's cousin. They were really tight. I know most of the coke came through one of them." Mark shook his head. "Renee was, is Brian's girlfriend I guess. I mean she was his girlfriend back then. She and Cass were real close. I think Cass introduced Renee and Brian."   
  
"Well that clears up some stuff." Jason said gently. "But what else is going on? It seems like something else is going on."   
  
"He's right Mark. What aren't you telling us?" Collins asked. 

Mark looked at Collins and Jason. He knew he would have been able to talk his way out of this to them, but then he looked at Roger. Roger whose eye's pleaded for answers. Answers he knew Mark had. "I… um, well, I wasn't…"

"Mark." Roger said in that voice that always reminded Mark of somebody's father. 

"Okay, listen, I wasn't there. I only know parts. And the parts I know, well she was pretty upset when she told me. And it took forever to figure out the part I know."   
  
"Mark just talk." Roger said in that voice again. 

"Okay fine. But if she finds out, I'm telling her you forced me. You know how she got put into rehab the second time? Right after her car accident?" They nodded. "Well, there is a little more to it then just that."   
  
"We gathered that." Jason added. 

Mark continued. "It wasn't just rehab. It was more like a hospital. Like a mental type hospital. From what I know, to save his own ass, Paulie helped her father get her committed. That's why she was in rehab for so long that time." 

  
"What a bastard." Jason said throwing an icy look towards Paulie. 

"Yeah well, it's not exactly one of the highlights of her life. Just don't say anything okay? I'm like the only person that knows. She just never wanted people thinking she was crazy or something."

******************

Cass followed Brian into a room. There was Renee. She had an oxygen mask on and the bed was all the way up so she was sitting, but she was still having a terribly hard time breathing. When Brian walked in he exchanged a nasty look with an older man Cass recognized as Renee's father. The man got up and walked out of the room. 

"Renee baby, open your eyes." Brian said softly in her ear, taking her hand. Her eyes slowly opened and looked at him. "Look." He motioned with his head. She turned some towards Cass, a small smile appeared on her face. 

She reached up and moved the mask some. "Hey." She said so softly Cass saw it more than heard it.

"Hey." Cass' eyes went up and down her, taking in all the tubes and wires. 

"He… tell… you?" she asked struggling for a breath between each word. 

"What happened to you? Yes, he did." She nodded. 

"I… missed… you."  
  
"I've missed you too." Cass reached out touching her hand. "I'm so sorry Renee, this is all my fault." 

"No." She moved her head some as if to shake it. "My fault."   
  
They just looked at each other for a few moments, both with so much to say and resolve. One unable to and one not wanting to burden the other. "Cass…" Renee said softly. "Wanted… you… to know. Sorry. So sorry." She took another breath. "We… should… have done… something. We… were your… friends. We deserted… you. We should … have helped. Been there."   
  
"It's okay Renee, it's not your fault. Don't worry about it."   
  
"No… sorry." She was struggling to breathe.   
  
"It's okay. I'm over it." 

The nurse walked in and checked the monitors. "You need to wrap up this conversation. You're wearing her out."   
  
Cass nodded. 

Renee reached for Cass' hand. "Loved you." She said through the mask the nurse had readjusted.

"I loved you too. You were my best friend."   
  
"Forgive me?"   
  
"Nothing to forgive, it wasn't your fault."   
  
"Thank you." A smile came over her face as she closed her eyes and rested her head back. 

Cass looked to Brian. "She gets tired really easily." He moved to walk out of the room and she followed. 

They were in front of the nurses' station when he stopped. "Listen Cass," he paused, looking for the words. "It was my fault we didn't help you. Paulie never should have done what he did. We should have been there for you."   
  
"Yes, you should have."   


"Like I said, it was me, not Renee. She wanted to try and do something. Really."   
  
"Don't worry about it." Her eyes went to her feet. She picked up a pencil and a business card off the desk. "Here's my phone number. Call me and let me know what's going on, because I can't come back here." 

Brian nodded and took the card with a slightly shaky hand. She turned to walk away. "Cass." He softly called to her. "Thank you. For coming. Really." She just nodded and walked back over to Roger and the guys. She shook her head at them, telling them she was ready to go home. As they walked back to the elevator a look was passed between Cass and Paulie. Another this time with more hatred and anger went between Roger and Paulie. No one spoke as they went down to catch a cab.

**************

When they got back to the apartment, it was late, but Cass didn't want to go to sleep. Roger sat up with her half the night, talking to her, playing her songs on his guitar. Mark held out as long as he could, but eventually fell asleep. 

When the phone rang at 10:30 that morning, no one else was awake. "Hello?" Mark asked somewhat groggily. 

  
"Can I talk to Cass?" 

"She's asleep. Who's this?"   
  
"It's Brian. Just tell her, tell her Renee died this morning."   
  
"Oh. Sorry."   
  
Mark thought about waking Cass up but decided against it. He took down the information and hung up the phone. Mark realized it was after ten and Roger never took his pills. He got him water and his pills and went to their room. 

Mark could hear Roger snoring. He quietly opened the door. They were both asleep, Roger had his arms around her. Mark realized he's watched Roger sleep for years. Roger had that same content look on his face. Almost a grin. The last time he saw that, Mimi was still alive. Roger never slept well when he was alone. Not after April. Not after that night. Images of that night came flooding back to him and he pushed them away. 

"Rog…" He whispered, gently shaking his shoulder. "Roger wake up, it's after ten."   
  
He mumbled something, opened his eyes somewhat and took the pills from Mark. He already had them swallowed when he saw the water Mark was holding for him. He took a sip, set it on the floor, and mumbled something else as he closed his eyes and was back asleep immediately. Mark had to laugh. He wondered if Roger had ever really woken up. Mark picked up the cup and walked out, closing the door behind him. Cass never moved.

About two hours later, Mark was sitting on the couch reading his scratchy notes. He looked up as the bedroom door opened and Cass came out, followed by Roger. They walked into the living room, Roger dropped onto Mark's bed, pulling Cass down with him. 

"It's too early to be up."   
  
"It's 12:30." Mark told him. 

Cass sat up, knocking Roger off her. "Roger it's 12:30 you never took your pills."   
  
"Crap. I guess I never heard my watch."   
  
"Relax, you took them."   
  
"I did?" Roger looked confused. 

Mark grinned. "Yes you did. I gave them to you this morning around 10:30. You sat up, took them, said something I couldn't understand and laid back down."   
  
"Oh. Well if you say so." Roger laughed, laying back down with Cass. 

Mark shook his head at him, just watching them for a minute. "Um Cass?" 

"What sweetie?"   
  
"Um, Brian called earlier." He looked at her. "He uh, Renee died around three this morning."   
  
"Oh." She lay back on the mattress. 

"He said they were having a memorial for her at some church here in the city then flying her back to LA"

*************

Roger unlocked the apartment door and walked in followed by Cass, Mark, Maureen, Jen, Jason and Collins. 

"I shouldn't have eaten those stuffed jalapenoes." Cass said, a hand on her stomach. 

"Yeah that place was a little spicy. But I liked it." Collins said as he sat down on the barstool. "We should have gone there before."

"It's strange, I almost feel like we're cheating on Life Café when we eat somewhere else." Jason laughed sitting down at the counter as well. 

"You are so weird Jason." Jen told him, going into the kitchen and grabbing water. "You guys have a message."   
  
Mark looked up. "Jason hit the button." 

Jason reached over, hitting the play button and the machine rewound itself. "Speak!" Roger and Mark's voice came out of the machine as it re-set itself. 

"That message is still so original." Jen said sarcastically. 

The machine beeped and the message began. "Cassiopeia this is your father."   
  
"Oh joy." She said dryly. 

"Your uncle called me. I'm calling to let you know your cousin will be in New York later tonight. He has to go to a funeral or something on Monday. I'm just letting you know like I said I would. I'll talk to you later."   
  
As the message ended everyone looked at Cass. She was standing near the couch, her coat half off. Her face had gone a ghostly pale. 

Maureen stepped over to her and reached out to take her coat the rest of the way off. "Sweetie give me this."   
  
Mark looked from Cass to Roger. The intense look of fear on her face was countered by the look of hatred and anger that came over Roger's. Mark didn't remember ever seeing Roger look so mad and he had seen him mad over the years. 

"He's going to your friend's funeral?" Jen asked. 

"I, I guess." Cass said softly. 

"I thought she was your friend." Maureen said. 

"I, he was friends with Paulie and Brian. He knew Renee, but that's all. He hasn't seen them in years."   
  
"Why do you think he's coming here then? Just to be a total bastard?" Maureen asked. 

"Maybe, probably." She sat down again on the couch. "He'd get a big kick out of harassing me. Or starting trouble." She looked at Roger.

"Well I think you should go, not let him know he bothers you at all." Jen said, trying to be helpful. 

"Yeah then afterward let Roger and Izzy beat the crap out of him!"   
  
"Maureen!" Jason snapped at her, but Mark could tell by the look on his face he didn't entirely disagree. 

Roger went over to where she was and sat down next to her. She had pulled her knees up to her chin and was just staring at them. "Baby are you okay?" He asked her softly. 

Mark just stood there by the answering machine. He didn't know what to do. It suddenly occurred to him how different Roger was. The old Roger would have been halfway to the airport by now, waiting for Anton to beat him to a bloody pulp. Not sitting on the floor, quietly talking to Cass.

"Um, we're going to go." Collins announced. 

Jason nodded and started to follow Collins out when he realized neither Maureen nor Jen had moved. Jason turned, grabbed Maureen by the wrist as he gave Jen a shove towards the door. Maureen was about to protest but one look from Jason shut her up and they headed out, closing the door behind themselves.

Mark walked over and sat down on the other side of Cass. He just sat there. Listening to Roger talk to Cass. Listening to him talk to her. Calming her down. Keeping her from freaking out.

Finally Mark spoke. "It's gonna be okay Cass."   
  
"Don't worry Baby." Roger told her, holding her close. "I'll never let him hurt you again Baby."   
  
"Me either." Mark said, still just staring at her. She hadn't said anything yet. Hadn't cried, yelled, screamed, nothing. She just sat there, letting Roger hold her and talk to her. 

"That fucking bastard." She finally said, leaning against Roger, staring out at his hand holding hers. "Renee was my friend. Paulie and Brian too. He's just doing this to be mean."   
  
"You're probably right Cass." Mark started, pushing her hair out of her face and behind her ear. "I mean we already know he knows our phone number. And he's the one that gave Paulie our address to give to Brian."   
  
"And we'll never let him hurt you again Baby. I promise."   
  
"Roger's right Cass. We'll never let him hurt you, but he's always gonna be out there. And he's probably always gonna be a total bastard to you."   
  
They sat there like that for a few more minutes. "Renee was my friend and I hated her for over four years for just deserting me. She was my friend damn it. I'm not letting that bastard win. It's my life and I want it back!" 


	70. 70

A/N Wow, a lot of reviews from that last chapter! Thank you guys so much! I really appreciate it. I wanted to address some things brought up in the reviews, so here goes.

#1 _Just one quick question... if they plan to tell the baby that Roger is it's father, won't it wonder why it doesn't have AIDS?_

Okay speaking as Roger, he doesn't really plan that far ahead. Mainly because he doesn't really believe he'll be around long enough for that to come up. 

__

#2_…managed to create an original character who could easily be considered a Mary Sue and make her not only unannoying, but actually likeable and able to fit in with the essence of Rent. _

I have to admit, some one said something about Cass being a "Mary Sue" in the beginning, and I had no idea what that was. One day I read the fan fiction definition and couldn't believe I'd gone and written almost a textbook example of a Mary Sue! But I'm glad she has managed to win you all over despite her Mary Sue-isms.

#3 …_at nearly 70 chapters with no end in sight, I can't help but wonder if you're writing a fanfic or a novel here. It's beautiful, but perhaps you should wrap it up soon?_

Truthfully, when I started this, it was just a short story. Which I began on an extended vacation just for something to do. At no point did I plan on ever posting it anywhere. Well it grew and grew finally turned into what it now is. When I went back and was re-reading it, that was when I decided to post it to ff.net, which I had been faithfully reading for a few years now. I agree it has turned into somewhat of a novel in length. But I can't help that now. Just know, that it is actually completed, so you will see an end. I always hated it when someone began a story, sucked you in, did a number of chapters and then falls off the face of the ff.net earth. In between posts I'm not writing, I'm just typing as I hand wrote the whole thing out. As for wrapping it up, we are coming closer to an end, but we still have a little way to go. So stick with me!

Thank you guys all so much. I just love you for reading this!

Kelby

Chapter 70

Jason shifted over closer to Collins as Maureen climbed into the cab. "What's all that?"   
  
"A couple of outfits for Cass to try on. She needed something to wear. She's convinced she looks really pregnant in everything she's got."   
  
They rode in silence the rest of the way to the loft. As they got out of the cab and started up the stairs Maureen began complaining about her heels. 

"Mo, why exactly are you here?" Jason snapped at her as Mark opened the door. "You didn't even know her."   
  
"Well, neither did you, but Cass is my friend and she may need me. Like when the police take Roger away and book him for assault." She told him, pushing past Mark and walking toward Cass and Roger's room. 

"What is she doing?" Mark asked. 

"Being a nosey pain in the ass." Jason answered him. "Where's Roger?"   
  
Mark pointed towards the room Maureen just entered. Jason nodded and headed over with the garment bag he had brought with him. Suddenly Mark realized both Collins and Jason had on suits. He looked down at his old suit. He only wore it to funerals and necessary job interviews. It seemed it had been worn more for the first then the second. 

"What are you two doing here? And dressed like that?" Mark played with his still undone tie. 

"We, uh, well, after the third or fourth time Maureen said something about Roger and Izzy beating up Anton, we decided it might be a good idea. Just in case." He shrugged. 

Mark got a small smile on his face. He knew exactly what Collins meant and having him and Jason along Mark really appreciated. "Thanks Collins. Really."   
  
"Fine then, be that way! I was only trying to help!"   
  
"Surprise, you didn't!" Jason told her as they headed out back to the kitchen where Collins had sat down with Mark at the counter.

"What happened?" Collins asked offering out bagels. 

"I don't know! He just about bit my head off!"   
  
"Drop it Mo." Jason warned her, taking a bagel. 

"Sorry." Mark apologized, starting to do up his tie. "Everybody's been a little tense this morning." He finished up his tie and started on a bagel. "I mean they are both doing really well." Mark said, to no one specific. "If I was Cass, I don't know if I'd have it together as her. But then again, that's Cass. Tell her no and that only gets her going more. And Roger's being, well, not like Roger. He's almost thoughtful and stuff. I'm almost not even worried about him going after Anton or anything."   
  
"Almost?" Collins asked with a questioning look. 

Mark grinned again. "Well this is Roger we're talking about here. I mean let's not get crazy."   
  
Just then Cass came out of the bedroom followed by Roger. "Are you sure?"   
  
"Cass you look fine. Nobody can tell you're pregnant. Mark will you tell her."   
  
"He's right Cass. I mean the only time you even look pregnant is when you're lying on your back with no shirt on."   
  
Everyone just looked at him as Mark realized what her said and started to blush. "I mean, she was lying on the couch! In a sports bra! That's all! Really!"   
  
"Relax Mark." Cass laughed at him taking a bagel. 

Roger just laughed, shook his head and went back into the bedroom. A minute later they heard him call from the room. "Mark come here. I need help."   
  
Mark sighed and went into the room. Jason gave Collins a confused look. "What's he need help with?"   
  
Maureen got a small smile as Collins quietly laughed. "Just listen."   
  
"You know someday you really should figure out how to do this yourself."   
  
"Whatever."   
  
"I mean this isn't that difficult Roger."   
  
"Whatever Mark."   
  
"Will you hold still, I can't do this when your moving around."   
  
"I'm trying to put my pants on Mark, what do you want me to do?"   
  
"I want you to stand still. And learn how to do this yourself. I mean it's only a tie Roger."   
  
"I don't need to learn how to do it, I have you for that."   
  
"Oh you are so impossible. You know that?"   
  
"So you've told me. Come on, I'm ready."   
  
Collins had tears in his eyes he was laughing so hard. Jason, Cass and Maureen weren't far behind him. "Tell me again," Jason asked Cass, "is he dating you or already married to Mark?" They all broke out laughing again as Roger sat down to put on his boots. 

"What's so funny?"   
  
"Nothing Baby. You want a bagel?" She fixed him one and slid it across the counter. 

"Where's the rest of my suit?" Jason asked him. "Because leather pants weren't part of it."   
  
"The pants didn't fit."   
  
"I think you look good." Cass smiled at him. 

  
"I still can't believe you got him in a shirt and tie." Maureen smirked. 

"Whatever." We got to go." He stood up, put on his leather jacket, which matched his leather pants. "Well let's go already."   
  
  
  
****************

They got to the church and sat down. Cass watched various people she used to know come in and sit down. Mark's head kept flipping back and forth as people walked in. She knew he was looking for Anton. 

Cass looked at Roger. She could tell he felt completely out of place. In a church. Wearing a tie. Surrounded by people he didn't know and trying to not obviously look for a person he hated but had no clue as to what he looked like. 

Roger tugged at his tie to loosen it some, smiling at her. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, whispering in her ear. "Your okay Baby." It was more of a statement than a question. 

She nodded at him. He was right. As long as he was with her, he was right. She knew that was what was going to get her through this. Cass couldn't help but smile at him, thinking that. Mark's voice broke into her thoughts just then. 

"There's Paulie. And Brian. Cass who's that guy with Paulie? He was at the hospital too."   
  
She looked over. Even from this far away she knew they were wasted. Paulie kept wiping at his nose. "What an ass!" She hissed. "His cousin's girlfriend dies and he's doing lines in the back of a church! Not that I should expect anything different, considering the guy with them is Greg."   


"Who's that?" Mark asked. 

"Paulie's connection." She said, matter of factly. She watched a blonde, in a tight dress walk over and give Paulie a big kiss. Paulie grabbed her, running his hands down her back and over her ass. "Oh for God sake Paulie, this _is _a church!" 

The others gave small laughs as Mark looked up. "Um, Cass…"   
  
She looked over to where he was pointing. Roger felt her whole body tense up against him as her fingers dug into his thigh. He knew it had to be Anton. Roger turned to see him walk in. He was tall and thin with dark blonde hair. Anton walked over to Paulie and shook his hand. Roger watched them talk for a minute, before Paulie pointed in their direction. He could see the twisted evil smile come over Anton's face as he headed towards them. 

Cass' whole body was shaking. Roger had his arm around her on one side and Mark was holding her hand tightly on the other. Collins and Jason were on the edge of their seats, knowing instantly what was going on.

Anton got closer; Mark could feel him sizing them up. He had so much anger and hatred for him bubbling up inside him. He wanted to kill Anton, rip him apart with his bare hands. He looked over at Roger, sure he was ready to pounce on him. Instead Roger was just sitting there, holding Cass, whispering into her ear. One arm around her shoulders, the other tracing patterns on her leg. 

Cass never looked up at him. She never took her eyes off Roger's hand on her leg. "Cassiopeia, what are you doing here? You need to come home." He said in a thick accent. 

"Go away, your not supposed to even be talking to me."   
  
"Come on baby." He smiled at her and continued in French. 

"First of all, I am home. Secondly, I don't care if I ever see your disgusting excuse for a human being of a self every again. Now go away." She told him in an icy cold voice. 

"Why you little bitch! I ought to-"

"Anton!" The voice behind him called. "I believe you need to find a seat now. I think they are about to begin." When Anton didn't move, the voice moved closer to him. "Perhaps on the other side of the church." His hand went around Anton's arm, giving it a hard jerk. 

Anton mouthed the word "bitch" at her but started moving. The rather large man the voice belonged to pause to wait for Anton to get somewhat ahead of him. "I'm sorry Miss Sullivan. I had to let him enter on his own. To see how far I could trust him. Obviously I can't. I am sorry, it won't happen again. We'll be leaving New York this evening."   
  
"Thank you Daniel." Was all she said as he walked away. 

"Who was that guy Cass?" Mark asked as the service was beginning. 

"He works for Carlton. He's kind of like an assistant, driver, bodyguard type." 

"Looks like they sent him along to baby-sit." Maureen whispered. 

Cass nodded as the priest began to speak. 

**************

When the memorial service was over, the priest announced that Renee's body was being flown back to Los Angeles to be buried there. He thanked everyone for coming on behalf of her family. Cass just sat there, watching everyone else get up to leave. 

Mark watched the big bodyguard guy hurry Anton to his feet and not so gently push him out the door. When they were about the only ones left Mark turned to her. "Are you ready to go Cass? I think he's gone."

She nodded and stood up, followed by Roger, Maureen, Collins and Jason. As they walked down the steps she saw Paulie, Brian, Greg and the blonde standing to the side where they would come down. 

"Cass, baby, you look great. Long time no see."   
  
"Not long enough Greg." She said trying to walk past them. 

"Cass, I want to talk to you."   
  
"Well I don't want to talk to you Paulie."   
  
"I don't care." He almost yelled, grabbing her arm. 

"Ow!" She cried out. 

"Get your hands off her!" Roger grabbed him by his jacket, causing Paulie to let go of Cass. 

"Watch the suit blondie!" Paulie smacked Roger's hand away. "This happens to be an expensive suit! Not that you'd know what that's like!" He laughed. 

"Paulie what do you want?" Cass asked him, obviously upset. 

"Paulie can we just go?" The blonde woman whined to him. 

"Shut up! Can't you see I'm having a conversation here? Go wait in the car." He watched her walk off then turned back to Cass. "I want to talk to you. Alone."   
  
"Well I don't want to talk to you!" 

"Give me a break Cass. Two minutes, that is if your little entourage can live without you that long."   
  
"Oh that's good coming from the guy who brought his dealer and a date to a funeral!"   
  
"Oh nice Cass, real nice. Fine you don't want to talk to me alone, talk to me here. What the hell are you doing here? In New York? With them?"   
  
"What does that mean?"   
  
"I mean you don't belong here, with them. When Anton told me you went to New York, I knew you'd end up at that movie guy's place. I didn't think you'd be staying!"   
  
"Go to hell Paulie!" Cass started to walk away but he grabbed her again. 

"Come on Cass. I've missed you baby." He pulled her in to a hug, trying to kiss her. 

Roger yanked him off Cass, throwing him into the wall surrounding the little garden around the church. "Go ahead, touch her again. Give me a reason to beat you into the sidewalk right now." He said to him in a low growl. Brian started to step up next to Paulie, but stopped when he realized Jason, Collins and Mark moved up behind Roger. Mark reached out and held the edge of Roger's jacket and he moved back some. 

Paulie backed away some, brushing off his suit. "Come on Cass. You can't tell me you're happy living here. Aren't these the same idiots with no money, no heat and who's phone and electric bill you were always paying? You're better than this Cass. Look at them. You don't belong with them. I remember all about that film guy and his guitar-playing roommate. I never understood what you saw in them. You're better than them. Than this!"   
  
"What, I should come back to you! You and Greg! What about your little girlfriend in the car Paulie?" 

"She's nothing." 

"Oh very nice Paulie." She was so upset she was crying. "Nothing huh? What about the last four years? What about the fact that you left me in that place?" She was stepping towards him with each sentence, poking him as she spoke. 

Cass stared at Paulie. Roger at Cass. Mark, Jason and Collins all watched Roger. Waiting to see what would happen next. 

"You left me Paulie! To save your own ass you left me!" She was yelling and she didn't care. 

"Come on Cass, that wasn't my fault! Your uncle would have had me thrown in jail. What did you want me to do? Go to jail?"   


"But it's okay to let them lock me up?"   
  
He stepped up to hug her again, getting his arms around her before she pushed him away again. 

"And the only reason I have to see you again is because Renee is dead! And you know what Paulie, it's all your fault! Your fault and my fault! It's our fault Renee's dead!" She kept hitting him in the shoulder as she yelled at him and cried. 

Greg was clearly getting uncomfortable. People were looking at them. "Come on Paulie, let's just go. Before she makes a bigger scene." He reached into his pocket, pulled out a piece of paper and wrote on it. "Here's my cell number Cass, call me if you need me." Greg reached over and dropped it in the pocket of her jacket. "Come on."   
  
"Come on Baby, let's go home." Roger whispered to her as Jason got them a cab. The six of them squeezed in again. Cass on Roger's lap, Maureen on Mark's, Collins squished in the middle. 

"You guys want to eat first?" Jason asked from the front seat. 

"Let's go home first, I want to change. Mark said. 

Everyone walked up to the apartment. Mark changed and Maureen borrowed some of Cass' clothes as well. Roger yanked off his tie and tossed it on the table. He went into the bedroom to change out of Jason's dress shirt. When he came back out Cass was still standing in the living room area. "Baby you want to eat?" She shook her head. "You guys go ahead and eat." He told them. 

"Okay, we'll meet you outside Mark." Maureen said as they stepped out the door. 

Mark nodded. "Why don't you take a nap Cass. I'll bring you guys back some food." He turned to Roger, "I, uh, need some money."   
  
Roger nodded and pulled out his wallet. "Take your coat off Cass." He told her handing Mark the money. "Baby what's wrong?" He asked seeing the look on her face. 

Mark looked up at her and saw the look of fear on her face as well. "Cass?" 

She pulled her hand out of her pocket and held it open. She had the paper Greg wrote his phone number on and a little brown glass jar. 

Mark knew immediately what it was. He didn't know what to say. He just looked at Roger, who was staring at her. 

"Go to lunch Mark." Roger said without looking up from Cass. 

"But…" 

"Go to lunch. It's okay." Roger walked over to Cass and held her while she just stood there and shook. "Come on Baby. It's okay." He told her, sitting them on the couch after Mark left.   
  
"No it's not. It's not okay at all." She sobbed. 

"Come on Baby, don't cry. I hate it when you cry." He just kept whispering to her, running his fingers through her hair. He hadn't seen her this upset since she first got there. But thinking back on the day so far, he couldn't blame her. Today was probably almost as traumatic as the days before she even got to New York. 

"He only came here to get to me." She sobbed. 

"Anton? Yeah, either that or he's got a death wish." Roger smiled at her, kissing her on the forehead. "But you didn't let him get to you. You did really well." 

"You know it's my fault Renee's dead. Mine and Paulie's." She started to cry hard again. 

"No it's not Baby. It's not your fault." Roger told her, as he pulled her onto his lap. "Shhh, it's not your fault Baby."   
  
"Yes it is." She cried into his chest. "It's all my fault. It's my fault she met Brian. It's my fault she got into the coke. It's my fault she's dead."   
  


**************

"What's the matter?" Maureen asked alarmed the minute she saw his face as he came out of the building door. Mark just started walking very fast toward the Life Café. "Marky what's wrong?" 

"They. She. That guy. Agh! I gotta go back." He stopped and turned around so quickly he almost smacked in to Collins who was right on his heels. 

"Mark!" Jason snapped at him. "The rest of us speak the English language. Join us in it."   
  
Maureen couldn't help but think how much Jason had sounded like Roger just then. Then she realized as Mark got it together enough to stop spazing out, that sounding like Roger had been exactly what Jason had meant to do. 

"That guy Greg. When he put his phone number in her pocket," he shook his head, "he dropped a thing of coke in too. She just found it in her coat pocket." 

"Uh huh?" Collins said. 

"Uh huh? I just left the two of them up there with a full thing of coke and all you can say is uh huh?"   
  
"What do you want me to say Mark? Run up and flush it for them?"   
  
"I don't know! I can't believe I just left them up there like that. Especially after today!"   
  
"Mark do you trust them?" Jason asked. 

"Yes, I guess, most of the time. I guess."   
  
"Mark your not his mother. You know perfectly well you can't tell him what to do. Cass either." Collins told him. "Look, we've had this conversation a million times. Either they'll flush it or snort it. Either way you can't make either of them do what they don't want to do."   
  
"I know, I know. I just wish it hadn't been today. After everything that went on, today is like the worst possible day to drop a bunch of coke in front of her nose."   
  
"Mark we've been through this. You gotta let it go. There is nothing you can do but wait and trust him to do the right thing. We just have to trust him. Both of them. And if they don't, then we can try and help them. But you know that won't work either unless they want it. You know all this." 

Maureen knew Collins was right. But she remembered all this from the old days. How Roger's drugs were tearing Mark apart back then. The last thing she wanted was to watch Mark go through that again. She slipped her arm around Mark's. "Come on Marky, Collins is right. You just gotta trust Roger. He won't let anything happen. Not now. He's come too far to do something like that again." She actually meant it too.

********************

Come on Baby. None of this is your fault." Roger just kept holding her, stroking her hair.

"Yes it is. It all is." She sobbed. "Oh you just don't get it."   
  
At that Roger had to laugh. He got it all right. More than she could ever imagine. He knew exactly what she was thinking and why. "I know Baby."   
  
"No you don't." She cried into his shoulder. 

"Hey. Look at me." He forced her chin up. "I know exactly what you mean. You think I don't blame myself for a thousand things?"   
  
"It's not the same. Renee's dead and it's my fault."   
  
"It is the same. It's no different from me thinking it was my fault April became a junkie, or came up positive, or killed herself. It took me years to realize it, but it's not my fault. I didn't make her a junkie. She did that on her own. I didn't force her to shoot up. She was already doing that when I met her. I didn't make her keep doing it. She wanted to on her own. Just like me. She didn't make me do it. Just like you didn't force Renee. Right? I mean did you force a straw up her nose? Did you make her date Brian?"   
  
"No."   
  
"See Baby. Everybody makes bad choices. God knows I made plenty of them. But just because you were there and part of it, doesn't make it your fault. You and I both now stuff just happens. And bad shit comes from lousy choices. But it doesn't make it our fault. You understand?"   
  
"But Roger…"   
  
"No Baby. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do. Renee did coke. Renee messed up her heart. Renee died from that. Not because of you."   
  
"If you're so right, why do I feel so guilty still?"   
  
Roger smiled at her. "Because that's just how it works. You gotta learn to deal with it. It'll get better." He held her close. 

"Thanks Roger." She sniffed, putting her arms around his neck when she realized she still had the coke in her hand. She looked down at it. "You know how easy it would be to just do a line and feel so much better?"   
  
"Yep." He nodded at her. "I know exactly how easy that would be." 

******************

Mark opened the front door for Jen and they walked out onto the stoop. "So how are things going Mark? You look really tired." 

"I'm fine."   
  
"Maureen told me about the other day. You're still worried about them aren't you?"   
  
"Yes." He told her, looking towards the ground. "I don't know."   
  
"Well they flushed it didn't they?" She asked as they walked towards the Iguana.

"I guess. I mean he said they did. But they are just acting a little weird." 

"Weird how?" She put her arm through his as they walked along. 

"Just a little too happy I guess. Or at least happier than it seems like they should. Especially right after that little incident the other day." 

"Well maybe they just are happy. Maybe Cass just decided to deal with it that way."

Mark sighed. "I hope." 

"They're going to be alright Mark. You gotta trust them. I mean they're adults. And drugs are everywhere. You have to trust them to make the right choices. They have both been through too much to go back to that." 

  
"I know. It's just that because they have been through so much, that's what worries me."

"Don't worry about it sweetie. They'll be fine. I mean they are singing tonight." 

"True."   
  
"How did Izzy convince Roger to do Christmas music? I thought that went against everything he felt rock and roll stood for?" 

Mark had to laugh. "Yeah it does. But Izzy's great plan was to have Krystal and Cass do the singing. I guess that convinced him. He's been trying to get Cass to sing with them for awhile now. She'd screw around at rehearsals, but that's all. She wasn't happy about the idea at first, but he convinced her somehow."   
  
"I'm sure." She smiled. "Hey how about a night out? My office is having a Christmas party a week from Friday. I can take a date. You have to wear a tie, but it's free food and alcohol and a really good restaurant. You wanna go with me?" 

Mark looked at her. A night out. Alone without Roger and Cass. Maybe that was exactly what he needed. He knew what everyone was saying was right. That he just had to trust them to make the right decision. And he knew they would. Well, he was pretty sure they would. He hoped they would. Well he'd just keep watching them. Closely. God Cohen you gotta stop obsessing over this. They haven't really given you any real reason to doubt them. So somebody gave them a thing of coke. On a really bad day for them. That doesn't mean they couldn't handle it enough to not take it. Or to lie to him about flushing it. Yeah, they'll be fine. He'll just watch them to be sure, but they'll be fine. He hoped. 

Mark smiled at Jen. "You know, that sounds like a lot of fun. I'd like that Jen. We'll have a great time." He grinned at her as they walked on to the Iguana. 

****************

Krystal and Cass finished singing to a round of applause. "We're going to take a break but we'll be back in a little bit." Izzy said into the mic as he unhooked his guitar. 

"Hey Iz, a voice in the crowd yelled at him. "Why you having the girls sing?" 

"Cause they're way cuter than Davis!" He yelled back laughing as he walked off the stage into the back. "Hey Cass, you sounded real good again tonight."   
  
"Um, thanks Izzy." She grinned trying to catch her breath, pulling away from Roger.   
  
"Yeah Baby," he said as he kissed down her neck. "I told you you'd be great."   
  
"Roger cut it out." She laughed, she could feel her face getting red as Izzy laughed and went out front.   
  
"Okay." He laughed. "But you were really good."   
  
"Thanks. It was kind of fun." She kissed him back. "We better go out front."   
  
"Why?" He started kissing her again as his hands went up her back. "It's way more fun back here." He kissed down her neck.

"Hey Rog?" Mark called down the hall. 

"That's why." She laughed, pushing him away. "We're down here Mark."   
  
"God his timing sucks." He head falling against the wall as Cass moved over and hushed him.

"You sounded awesome Cass!" Mark said grabbing Cass by the hand, pulling her towards the front. "Come on everybody is waiting!" He told her, not wanting to leave the two of them alone in the back.  
  
Roger almost had to laugh. Mark was so excited he was almost bouncing off the walls. You would have thought it was him up there singing instead of Cass. And Cass. God she was amazing he thought. He still couldn't get over how incredible she was. Mark was right. She did sound awesome. Even if the only thing he could get her to sing were Christmas songs. 

He watched her walk out to the table with Mark. Collins, Jason, Jen and Maureen were all waiting for them. Roger could see them all telling her how good she sounded. He loved to watch her laugh and talk to everyone. He loved to watch her move. He realized he just really loved her. Everything about her. Roger couldn't image life without her. 

"Rog, you okay?" Mark asked worriedly as he handed him the beer he had brought over. 

"Huh? Oh yeah." He smiled. "I was just thinking."   
  
"Explains the odd look on your face." Mark grinned. 

Roger just punched him in the arm and sat down. They sat around talking for the next ten minutes till Izzy came over. 

"You planning on joining us up there Davis?"   
  
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." Roger told him before turning to Cass. "You and Krystal are done. You going to stay or go home?"   
  
"Can I see you at home?" She yawned. "I'm so tired. And Krystal already left." She leaned in and kissed him. 

  
"Yes." He laughed kissing her back. "Go home."   
  
"Yeah, we need to take off too." Jason said. "Last week of classes. Everybody starts either turning stuff in or begging for an extension."   
  
"Don't forget the butt kissing. That starts big time this week." Collins laughed. 

"Yeah well, some of us have regular jobs that we have to get up for every Monday." Jen told them.   
  
"Tell me about it!" Maureen whined. "Everybody waits till the last minute to make up their Christmas cards and stuff. Then they think I've got some magic wand or something and can get them done overnight. I mean really. Who do these people think they are?"   
  
"Maureen Johnson?" Mark asked trying to sound innocent as everyone laughed. 

"On that note, I'm going to get my coat. You two play nice till I get back." Cass told Maureen and Mark. 

Roger walked her into the back and grabbed his old leather jacket she had worn over earlier. He helped her put it on and pulled her close, running his hands up her back under her shirt. "You were amazing Baby." He kissed her. "You are amazing." He kissed her again. "God I love you." His lips went back to her skin. 

"I love you too Baby." She threaded her arms around his neck. "I could only do that because I was with you." She smiled at him. 

"I kinda like that." A slight grin crossed his face as he heard Izzy calling for him. Cass turned around in his arms so they were both facing Izzy. "Yeah, I'm coming Iz!" he yelled to him before whispering to her as his hands slid down onto her belly. "I'll see you later." He kissed her on the head as he rubbed her belly. "I love you Cass."   
  
"Love you too Roger. I'll see you in a little bit. Go be awesome." She turned and kissed him before leaving with Mark and everyone. 

Roger played his last set almost on autopilot. He kept thinking about Cass the whole time. When they wrapped up he went into the back office with Izzy and sat down. "So Cass and Krystal sounded really good."   
  
"Uh huh." Izzy said reading over the bar order, not really listening. 

"Iz I need a favor." Roger just blurted out. 

This caught Izzy's attention. He put down the order and looked up. "You? Roger Davis needs a favor? I thought only Saint Mark was privy to those." He joked. 

Roger ignored the joke. "I'm serious Iz. I need a favor."   
  
"Okay, sorry. What's up?"   
  
"It's okay if you say no. I'll understand if you do. But if you say yes I'll have you paid back by the end of January. I promise."   
  
"How much do you need?"   
  
"A thousand dollars. I can't use any of that money Mark and I got, because we put that into a 'business' account. And I won't get my first check from the record label until at least January." 

Izzy whistled. "That's a lot of money Roger. What do you need it for?" 

"Um, I don't really want to tell you. Not yet."   
  
Izzy sat back in his chair, kicking his feet up on his desk. "A thousand dollars and you can't tell me why?" He studied Roger as he sat there. After a second he spoke again. "Okay just tell me one thing. Only question. And tell me the complete, honest to God truth. Doesn't mean I won't give it you the money, but the complete truth Rog. Deal?"   
  
"Yeah, deal." Roger knew what he was going to ask, and it didn't bother him. That actually surprised him, the fact that it didn't bother him. "No problem."   
  
"Okay." Izzy hesitated. "Just tell me if it has anything what so ever to do with drugs. Anything. Even in the slightest way."   
  
"Nope. Nothing at all." He smiled. "Actually it has to do with Cass. And Christmas."   
  
Izzy watched the stupid grin come over Roger's face as he said that. He leaned back in his chair more and thought through what he said. "Cass and Christmas huh?"   
  
"Yeah." Roger grinned. 

Slowly Izzy shook his head. "Okay. Can I give you five hundred tonight and fine hundred next Sunday night?"   
  
"Yeah!" Roger jumped up out of excitement. "That should work fine!"   
  
Izzy laughed as he reached into the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out an envelope. He started to count out five piles of twenties. "You know, if it's what I think it's for, I'm gonna get shit form Krystal. I'll never hear the end it."   
  
"I don't know what you're talking about Iz." Roger picked up the money, shoving it in his pocket. 

"Yeah, I'm sure." He grinned as he watched him head towards the door. "Hey Roger," he looked at him for a second, "if you need any help, just tell me. I'll take you to see Krystal's uncle in Jersey." 

"Thanks Izzy. Really. I'll see you later."

  


  
  



	71. 71

Chapter 71

Mark quietly opened the apartment door and walked in carrying his shoes, tie and jacket. He walked over and flopped onto his bed in the tiny living room. 

"Must have been a good party." Roger said from the kitchen. 

"Shit Roger! What are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?"   
  
"Not at all." He grinned. "Just wondering how many Christmas parties get out at 6:30 in the morning?"   
  
"Ha ha. Very funny."   
  
Roger tossed him a bottle of aspirin as he walked over and handed him a mug of juice. "So? Where you been all night?" He grinned. 

"Where's Cass?"   
  
"Still asleep. I only got up to get a drink. Where you been?"   
  
"Okay so we went to the party. We had a good time. We came home."   
  
"Right. How good a time Marky?"   
  
Mark sort of grinned as he gave him a sideways look. "Kinda too good a time."   
  
Roger's eyes got wide. "You slept with Jen?"   
  
"Shhh! Don't let Cass hear you."   
  
Roger let out a low laugh. "I can't believe you slept with Jen." He whispered. "How was it?"   
  
"Oh you are such a pig Davis." Mark grinned, but he knew his blushing would give it away. "Just don't say anything to anyone. Even Cass. If anyone finds out, it'll make it weird."   
  
"Okay. I won't. But you better get out of those clothes before Cass wakes up. She'll figure you out in a heartbeat." He grinned. "Besides everyone's coming over around eleven to move everything back upstairs."   
  
"Yeah, you're right." Mark stood up and took off his pants. "So what did you guys do last night?"   
  
Roger got a grin across his face. "You won't believe me if I tell you."   
  
"Now I gotta know." He dropped back down on the twin bed. 

"I took her to dinner and to see the tree at Rockefeller Center." 

"You?"

"No me and Cass. Then I took her to see St. Patrick's Cathedral, FAO Schwarts and the Christmas windows at all the stores down there."   
  
"I don't believe it." Mark laughed. 

"Well it's true." He shrugged. "She never did the New York Christmas thing. I figured she'd like it."   
  
Mark was still a little surprised. "Of course she'd like it. Girls love that kind of stuff. It's you thinking of it that surprises me."  
  
Roger grinned. "Well I did. And all on my own thank you."   
  
"I'm impressed." 

  
"You should be." He told him with the stupid grin still on his face. "Besides I figured she could use some fun. She's been kinda mopey lately. Did you know while I've been working she's been watching old sappy movies with Maureen at night?"   
  
"Yeah, they've been doing that for a couple of weeks. Since Joanne left the last time. They're always sitting around talking and stuff. Which sort of scares me, but another really good reason for you to not mention last night to Cass."   
  
"Yeah, I got it." Roger sipped his juice and looked down. "Is she okay though? I mean she was doing better after the whole thing with Renee's funeral and all that. But now, lately, she's been really bummed out."   
  
"Jen and I were talking about that. She said it's all hormonal. She said when her cousin was pregnant she used to cry at the long distance commercials. I don't know, she hasn't said she was upset, but she just gets weird every now and then."   
  
"Yeah, I guess your right. The books said all that too."   
  
"Just don't tell her she's hormonal. I made that mistake a week ago. She about killed me." Mark laughed. 

"Yeah, I can see that." Roger started laughing too. Suddenly he realized he hadn't seen Mark for almost three whole days. "Hey how was your mom's?"   
  
"Eh, survivable. I mean it's not like Hanukkah at the Cohen house is ever all that exciting. Conveniently enough my dad worked Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, so I only had to deal with him at night. Cindy was there Wednesday and Thursday. She's still a pain and her kids are still brats. And my mom is well, still my mom." He rolled his eyes. 

  
"Gee Mark, I'm real sorry we missed all that." He laughed. 

"Yeah well, both parental were greatly relieved to be completely 100% assured that I was not the one to have and I quote, knocked up Kate." He laughed. 

"So in other words, Cass and I were missed dearly by your parents?"   
  
"As much as me." He laughed. "But it was really cool to hang out with Molly. It's amazing how different it is for her. They treat her totally different than they did me and Cindy." He shook his head. 

"Maybe you wore them down." Roger laughed. 

"I don't know. But she's got some pretty good stuff in her film class. I ended up watching everything she's done. She might come stay with us for a few days over Christmas break. If she can convince my mom it's safe."   
  
"That's so cool she's doing film stuff." Roger grinned. He was so happy for Mark. "Tell your mom I won't be here if that'll help convince her."   
  
Mark laughed. "Relax, I think it's the idea of the city more than you."   
  
"Whatever." He laughed. "I hope you can work it out."   
  
"Roger?" A very sleepy Cass came to the bedroom door. "What are you doing? What time is it?"   
  
Roger stood up and walked over to her, putting an arm around her waist. "It's early, not even seven yet. I got up to get a drink and ended up talking to Mark. Let's go back to bed, we don't need to get up for almost three more hours."   
  
"Okay." She said sleepily. 

"Night Mark." Roger smiled, shaking his head. 

He led her back into the bedroom and dropped onto the bed. Cass curled up next to him mumbling something about being cold and was right back asleep. Roger pulled the blankets up over them and wrapped his arms around her, falling back asleep himself.

******************

When Cass went back to sleep she felt Roger's arms around her. His left arm was over her chest, his hand by her ear. When the alarm on his watch went off she bolted up, knocking his arm off her. 

"Sorry." He told her turning off his watch and pulling her back down on the bed with him. 

"It's okay." She kissed him. "But we need to get up."   
  
"We will."   
  
"Soon Roger." She laughed as he kissed her neck. 

"We will, we will." He kept kissing her, running his hand up and down her side. 

"Roger," she tried to talk as his lips caught her mouth. "We need to get up. Everyone is going to be here soon."   
  
"Agh!" He rolled back over onto his back. "Okay, okay. But I'm only giving up this easy because tonight we sleep upstairs."   
  
"Whatever it takes." She grinned. "Come on, get up, get dressed. Everyone is going to be here soon and you need to take your pills."

He watched her start digging through the pile of clothes, looking for something to wear.

"What were you and Mark talking about this morning?" She threw him a pair of jeans and a shirt. 

"Nothing really." He pulled on his shirt. "He said going to his mom's wasn't as bad as he figured. It was still probably a good thing we didn't got though."  
  
"Probably." She tossed him socks and pulled on a pair herself. 

"He said Molly might come stay a few days over her Christmas break. He's real excited about the stuff she's doing in her film class."   
  
"That's great." She pulled on Mark's old sweats and a big shirt. 

"Why are you wearing those?"   
  
"Because they are comfortable. And we have a lot to do today. Plus I'm too fat for just about anything else."   
  
"You're not fat." He laughed as he pulled her down next to him. "You're pregnant." He ran his hand over her belly sliding down so he was level with it. "Hello baby, you're making your mother wacky." He said to her stomach as Cass laughed. "Do we find out what it is on Monday?" He asked Cass, still rubbing her stomach. 

"We can if we want to know."   
  
"Do you?"   
  
"I don't know, do you?"   
  
"Sort of," he grinned, "I guess I'm kind of curious."   
  
"Well I guess we better find out then." She smiled at him. "But first we need to get up and move back upstairs. To our new apartment. And our new, big room with our own, built in bathroom and walk in closet."   
  
"Not yet working bathroom, but that's okay because when we get upstairs, Mark's room is on the complete other side of the building. He'll never hear us again." He gave her an evil grin. 

"You're terrible!"  
  
"And according to Mark, noisy, so we solved that problem." He teased before kissing her quick on the lips and once on the belly. "And your room's in the other corner from us and your uncle Marky!" He hopped up off the bed pulling a laughing Cass with him. 

"You're crazy Davis!"   
  
"Yup. Crazy about you!" He kissed her hard. "Come on, we gotta get Mark up and move!"   
  
  
  
*****************  


"Hey. We brought bagels. Where are the girls?"   
  
"Cass is doing something in the bedroom. Surprise, surprise, Mo and Joanne aren't here yet. And if your sister was in the same shape as Mark, she's either dead or wishing she was." He laughed. 

"Ouch. Must have been a good party."   
  
"Or at least a good open bar." Roger joked. "You bring me an egg bagel?" He dug through the bag pulling one out for himself, Mark and Cass. "Babe I'm making you a bagel." He called to her. 

"Oh good. I'm hungry. Hi guys."   
  
"Hey Cass. You ready to move?" Collins asked. 

Cass gave Roger a glance and they exchanged slight grins. "More than you could ever imagine." She opened up the cupboard. "Here go." She handed Roger a paper cup with a number of pills. "I'm going to finish up in there." She headed back into the bedroom with her bagel. 

Roger took the cup and started dumping pills into his hand. Collins just looked at him for a second. "Are you okay?"   
  
"Yeah Rog? Did they like really change your dose or something?"   
  
"Huh?" He looked at his hand and laughed. "No. Actually the doctor lowered my dose from where it was at the clinic. This is all vitamins and crap from the nutritionist. Mark's are almost as bad." He showed them another paper cup with not quite as many pills in it. "Don't laugh." He told Collins. "She plans on dragging you there next."   
  
Just then Mark came out of the bathroom. "Hey Mark! You and Jen have a good time last night?" Jason asked. 

"Shhh. Please." He asked, sitting at the counter, resting his head on his arms. 

"Oh yeah, you're going to be useful today." Roger laughed setting Mark's bagel, vitamins and juice in front of him. 

"Maybe I should go check on Jen." Jason laughed as he walked out of the apartment, leaving the door open. 

"That wasn't what I meant!" The shrill voice traveled up the stairs and into the room. 

"Oh God. She wants my head to explode. She hates me. She must hate me." He dropped his head down again to laughter from Roger and Collins as Maureen and Joanne walked in. 

"Hey! We're here! What's wrong with Marky?"   
  
"Shhh. Hangover. Welcome home Joanne." Collins gave her a hug. "How long are you staying?"   
  
"Three weeks. I don't have to be back in Washington till Monday the 7th."   
  
After a few minutes Cass came out and Jen and Jason returned. Joanne caught them up on everything she had been dong in Washington as they finished off the bagels and coffee Jason had brought from Jen's. They finally started talking things upstairs. With all of them it wouldn't take long to move things. They didn't have much downstairs and everything else was packed in plastic upstairs. Everyone was excited to see the new loft. The front door had been moved to the top of the stairs. The walls were all up the doors hung and the drywall mudded and sanded. 

"This place is amazing you guys!" Joanne exclaimed, setting down her box. 

"How long till they are completely finished?" Jen asked. 

"Well, the appliances are all in and set up, but they need to finish up the kitchen and the two new bathroom. They should be done by Christmas."  
  
"Then they paint?" Jason asked. 

"Well, no. They have to start another job, so painting is up to us. And someday we'll get the floors re-done too."   
  
"This place is absolutely huge now." Collins started.

"Jealous?" Maureen teased. 

"Actually yes." Collins laughed. " I mean think about it Mo. Since we moved out they've gained fully functioning electricity, heat, hot water, a new kitchen, not to mention doubling the square footage and two additional bathrooms."

Maureen sighed. "I would have given up all that other stuff for my own bathroom when I lived here."   
  
"What makes you think we would have let you have your own bathroom if we had all that when you did live here?" Mark teased.

"Trust me," Roger joked setting down the mattress he and Jason had carried up. "If we had a bathroom back then for her and all her crap, we'd have given it to her."   
  
"Hey!" Maureen protested. 

Collins laughed. "Sorry Mo, I got to go with Roger on this one. We would have done just about anything to get you out of there in under an hour."   
  
"That's an understatement." Roger said. 

"Pookie tell them I'm not difficult to live with!" 

"Um, right." Was all Joanne said as she started unpacking her box.

"Hmp!" Was all Maureen said as she stomped over to the other end of the apartment. 

"Can you losers make any more noise?" Ginny laughed, walking into the loft with Leslie. 

"Sorry. Did we wake you guys up?" Cass asked. 

  
"No. Don't worry about it."   
  
"Hey you took your last exam didn't you?" Jen asked as she pulled plastic bags off stuff they had left upstairs, sending drywall dust flying.

"Yeah, I did." She smiled, watching Cass and Jen start coughing at the dust. "I graduate next Wednesday and take my nursing boards three weeks later in January. And you shouldn't be breathing all that crap in." She told Cass. 

"Yeah, yeah." Cass said as Mark gave her a disapproving look. "Well someplace around here should be a vacuum. Would that be okay Mark?"   
  
Mark picked up the laundry basket of clothes and handed it to her. "Here, put these away instead." 

"So what do you do then Ginny?" Joanne asked, pulling more bags open. "I thought Cass said they cleaned all this mess up?" 

"I start looking for a job."   
  
Everyone started laughing when they heard the usually very quiet Leslie. "Oh my God. That is about the most beautiful sight in all of New York City."   
  
"What?" Mark asked, confused. 

"A washer and dryer inside your own apartment." 

Everyone laughed at that. "She's right you know." Collins agreed, still laughing.

"Um," Maureen started, "since we're here all the time anyway, and we're your best friends, we get to do our laundry here too right?"   
  
"Maureen!" Joanne scolded. 

"I can't believe she just asked that!" Jason laughed.

"I can." Mark said, not batting an eye. "The thing that surprised me is that she even bothered to ask. I would have expected her to just bring her laundry with her today." 

Maureen made a face and stuck out her tongue at Mark to everyone's laughter. "Fine, make fun of me, it that will make you so happy. But in return I should be allowed to do my laundry here!" She sat down in a huff.

"Relax Maureen, you can do your laundry here." Roger told her to the surprise of everyone. 

"What?" Mark almost yelled. 

"Well yeah, she can do her laundry, as long as she does ours too!" He laughed. 

"Oh." Mark laughed. "That explains it."   
  
"I'm confused." Leslie said. "What explains it?"   
  
"It's simple." He laughed harder. "Roger would sell his sole to the devil rather than do his own laundry!" Mark had to stop to catch his breath he was laughing so hard. "And you know, Maureen and the devil are one and the same!" 

All four guys started laughing so hard they almost couldn't stand up. Collins had tears in his eyes. Maureen was so mad her face was turning red. Watching them laugh, she got up and stormed out. Even Joanne was laughing. 

"Oh very mature you guys!" Cass yelled at them, but they could tell it was directed at Mark. "This is just how I wanted to spend my day." Cass said, heading downstairs where she had heard their apartment door slam. Roger, still laughing, opened his mouth to say something, but one look from Cass shut it.

"Oh good Mark, get me in trouble too!" Roger told him. 

"Hey, I didn't tell you to laugh."   
  
"I suppose I should go pacify her ego." Joanne said after a moment, but she hadn't moved. 

"I wouldn't worry about it right now." Leslie said looking out the window. "They just left."   
  
  
  
****************************

Roger sat on the couch picking out cords on his guitar. Finally he slammed his fingers on the strings, making an angry sound. 

Mark looked up from the magazine he wasn't reading. He flipped the pages hard and looked back down. "I said I was sorry."   
  
"I know."   
  
"I wasn't the only one picking on her you know."   
  
"Mark I don't want to talk about it." He leaned back on the couch. "I'm not mad at you. I don't know who I'm mad at. I just want to know where she is."   
  
"Well so do I. Both of them."   
  
Roger got up off the couch and walked to the window, staring out in to the darkness. She'd been gone almost ten hours. He hated that he didn't know where she was. Ever since she got there, since that day when he started talking to her, he had this feeling, this need to protect her. To take care of her. And now he didn't know where she was, what she was doing or if she was okay. He just stood there. Staring into the darkness, his own reflection in the lit loft staring back at him. 

After about ten minutes his thoughts were broken by the sound of the door being unlocked. Mark was on his feet and Roger halfway across the loft by the time Cass opened the door all the way. "Where have you been?" He asked her, closing the door behind her. Roger put an arm around her waist, almost as if he had to touch her to believe she was really there.

"Out with Maureen."   
  
Cass leaned against him and he could tell how tired she was. "You're freezing." He told her, trying to warm up her hand as they walked to the couch. 

"It's cold out." She sat down on the couch, pulling off her jacket and leaning against Roger as Mark tossed her a blanket. 

"Baby are you okay?"   
  
"Yes. No." She looked at Mark. "She was really mad at you. You really upset her." 

"I know."   
  
"No, you don't Mark. She's trying really hard and all you do is rip her down."   
  
"What? After all these years he finally starts standing up for himself and stops taking all her crap and that's bad? No way. Maureen deserves everything she gets." Roger told her, surprised at how defensive of Mark he ended up sounding. But it was true. She treated him like crap the whole time they went out. After she dumped him, he still took it. Until recently. He realized how proud he was of Mark for doing that. 

"No she doesn't. At least not anymore. You can't sit there and tell me she's not different than she used to be."   
  
"I don't know."   
  
"Yes." Mark said. "She is. I mean I know she's trying to be less of a pain in the ass. And it just got easier to start giving her crap back. I guess the easier it got, the more I sort of enjoyed it."   
  
"Well she didn't. I mean it was one thing coming from Roger, but from you it really upset her. She couldn't take it anymore."   
  
"I never thought about it that way." 

"Well there is probably a lot you didn't think about. Or know. Like the fact that she considered you her best friend. Or the fact that one of the biggest reasons Joanne took the Washington DC project was because the two of them were having so many problems."   
  
"I didn't know that." Mark said, looking at the ground. "I guess I better call her and talk to her. Apologize."   
  
"Yeah I guess I should too." Roger said, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her onto his lap.   
  
"Might be a nice idea. And maybe you two could try being a little nicer to her too."   
  
"Yeah, you're right." Mark told her. 

"Of course I am." She tried to joke but yawned instead. "I'm so tired, I need to go to bed." Cass stood up. "You going to come keep me warm?"   
  
"Can't turn down an offer like that." He stood up and hugged her from behind.   
  
"Good." She turned and kissed him before stepping towards the old bathroom. "Night Marky." She winked at him. "Love ya." She smiled at him and went into the bathroom. When she came out Roger and Mark had both left the living room. She found Roger lying in bed in their new room. "Hey."

  
"Hey."   
  
"Did you guys get everything moved?" 

"Uh huh. And everything is unpacked and cleaned up. Except your computer stuff."   
  
"Probably a good idea." She smiled, climbing in next to him. "Sorry I took off. I just couldn't let Mo go off like that on her own."   
  
"I'm not mad. I was just worried about you. I didn't know where you were." He wrapped his arms around her. 

"I'm sorry Baby." She kissed him. "I should have called you."   


"Where did you go anyway?"   
  
"Well, we walked and talked and had coffee and lunch. Then she didn't want to come here or go home so we went to the MOMA. Spent a long time there. Then went to dinner, more coffee and home. God I'm tired. My back hurts and my feet hurt from all that walking."   
  
"Well I can fix that." He said, kissing her and rolling her over, rubbing her back. 

"Mph. Thanks Baby."   
  
"Just don't take off on me like that again."   
  
"Okay. You glad we're back up here?"   
  
"Yep. But I'm more glad you're home." He kept rubbing her back for another few minutes. "Cass?" When she didn't answer he knew she was asleep. He laid down next to her, wrapping his arms around her. "Love you Cass." He whispered, kissing her goodnight. 


	72. 72

Chapter 72

"You guys, you need to get up." Mark said knocking on the bedroom door. "Or we'll be late."   
  
"Yeah Mark I hear you." Roger said, rolling over next to Cass. "Baby you gotta wake up."   
  
"I am awake. Since when are you two such morning people?" She pulled the blankets up higher.   
  
"Well never." He laughed. "Except for maybe today." 

"You're never this willing or excited to got to the doctor Roger."   
  
"Yeah well, for me, but today's different."   
  
"Different huh?" She grinned at him. 

"Yep! Now get up."   
  
"Okay." She grinned. "But then no complaining when we get to your doctor's."   
  
He thought about that for a second. "Okay. Deal." He jumped out of bed. "Now get up!" He laughed. 

They got up and got ready. After bagels for breakfast the three of them headed out. Mark, camera in hand filming and narrating as they went. 

When they reached the doctor's office, Roger signed her in. When the nurse called Cass' name she gave the strange look they had grown accustom to as Mark, Roger, Cass and Mark's camera followed her down the hall. 

"So did you work it out with Mo?" Cass asked Mark as they sat in the little room waiting. 

"Yeah, we talked. For a long time. I guess we worked some stuff out. You were right through, there was a lot of stuff I didn't know about. I guess I just stopped paying attention to her." He shrugged. "How did last night go?" 

  
"Great!" Roger grinned hugging Cass. "She sounded incredible. Did all three sets. The last two by herself."   
  
"Against my will!" Cass teased. "They let Krystal go home, but I get held hostage!"   
  
"Yeah but you did a great job!" He kissed the top of her head.   
  
"Uh huh." She grinned turning to look at him. "Hey what were you and Izzy doing in the back last night for so long?"   
  
Roger's head popped up. "Um, nothing. We were just, you know, talking. About stuff." Oh good Davis, sound guilty as hell why don't you? You might as well tell her what Izzy's loaning you money for. 

Mark just looked at Roger when he said that. He had thought all his worries that followed the funeral and the coke incident had faded, but watching Roger just then, they started to resurface. Here he was, acting weird again. Like he was hiding something. Just like when things started getting bad the first time around, so many years ago. 

"Just talking huh?" Cass teased him. 

Roger was about to protest when the door opened and Cass' doctor walked in. "So, how's everybody doing today? Got the whole crowd as usual I see Cass." She laughed. 

  
"Yes well, Mark and his camera are kind of like my American Express card. You don't leave home without them." Cass joked as all three of them laughed. 

"Well," her doctor said, looking up from Cass' chart. "Looks like today should be right up Mark's alley, playing with cameras of sort." She smiled. "So now you need to tell me. Are we just talking pictures or am I pointing out the important parts today?" 

**************

Collins rubbed his hands together trying to warm them. "I thought we were going to dinner."   
  
"We were. All I know is Mark called, said we were eating at the loft and to meet him at 7th and Avenue C." They walked on a few more minutes. "There he is." Jason pointed to Mark, waiting on the corner. 

"Hey!" Mark grinned. 

"What's going on Mark?" Collins started coughing. 

"Are you okay?" Mark asked, looking from Collins to Jason who had a strange look on his face. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just cold." He answered rubbing his hands together. "Now what's going on? Did they go to the doctor today?"   
  
They started walking as a huge grin crossed Mark's face. "Yeah they did."   
  
"Oh my God, you know what it is don't you?" Jason asked. 

"Yes I do. And I'm not allowed to tell you." Mark grinned. "I'm also not allowed to talk to you without Collins, just in case. Roger figures Collins won't let you beat the information out of me." He laughed, joined by both Collins and Jason. "Of course I'm also not allowed anywhere near your sister or Maureen. I mean you'd think he doesn't trust me or something."   
  
"No," Collins said, blowing on his hands. "You he trusts, it's them he doesn't trust. Especially Mo or Jen. I mean let's face it, Jen needs to know everything so she let's Mo do her dirty work. Mo knows she can get anything out of you."   
  
"That's not true." Mark protested. 

Collins and Jason just looked at each other and laughed. "Right Mark."   
  
"Oh whatever!" Mark shook his head. "Here." He pulled off his gloves, handing them to Collins. "We're here."   
  
"A Christmas tree lot?" Jason asked. 

"Uh huh. Cass picked it out earlier. We just need to pick it up." He went over and talked to the guy running the lot, handing him a claim receipt. 

"Oh my God! That thing is huge!" Jason exclaimed when he brought it over. 

"Um, yeah." Mark said, a little amazed. "I'm thinking Cass picked it out."   
  
"What was Roger thinking?" Jason asked as the three of them picked it up and started walking.

Collins laughed at that. "I doubt he was thinking anything. In case you haven't noticed, he's in love." 

At that Mark laughed too. "Your right. God help us the day Cass makes a comment about getting a piano. I can see it now, the four of us pushing a piano up three flights of stairs!"   
  
"No way. I draw the line way before that." Jason told them. 

"Right." Mark and Collins said at the same time, causing all three to laugh again. They carried it back to the loft and up the stairs. Mark kicked on the door to get someone to open it. 

"Ewww! Roger they're here!" Cass squealed from inside the loft. 

"What happen Cass, you couldn't get the one at Rockefeller Center so you had to take the runner up?" Jason huffed as they dropped the tree on the ground. 

"Oh it's not that big." She laughed. 

"You didn't just haul it over four blocks and up three flights of stairs." Mark said turning to Roger. "Which reminds me, why exactly did we just get a ten foot Christmas tree?"   
  
Roger just grinned and shrugged. "Cass wanted a tree."   
  
"So let me get this straight. Your girlfriend wants a tree, so you let her pick one out from the giant woods, but then you leave. And for some reason, the little Jewish guy and two of our friends have to carry it all the way home. Without any help from you."   
  
Trying hard to look innocent, Roger gave him his best grin. "I had to go buy the thing to put the tree in."   
  
"Right."   
  
They joked around about the tree for another ten minutes before Joanne, Maureen and Jen got there. "Okay we're here, so tell us!" Mo gushed. 

"Tell you you're here? Okay, you're here." Cass teased. 

"Ha ha very funny. So?" Jen demanded. 

"So what?" Roger grinned, moving behind Cass and wrapping his arms around her waist. 

"So what did the doctor say?" Jen was almost bursting. Jason and Collins were laughing at her. 

"The doctor said Cass was definitely, 100% pregnant." Roger laughed, obviously enjoying tormenting Jen and Maureen. 

"See why I wasn't allowed anywhere near those two." Mark whispered to Jason. 

"Oh! Roger you're impossible!" Maureen pouted. "Are you going to tell us what it is or not?"   
  
"Maybe. Okay, yes." Roger grinned. "Eventually." 

"Fine Roger, be difficult." Jen said, rolling her eyes before they landed on a stupidly grinning Mark. Jen nudged Maureen, motioning towards Mark. Maureen caught on immediately and they casually started to move towards Mark. 

"So this place really looks good." Jen said to Mark. 

"Yeah Mark, why don't you show us your new office?"   
  
"Yeah!" 

"Um, okay." He looked at the two of them skeptically. "If you really want." He was still leaning against the back of the couch. 

"Mark." Roger yelled at him, causing him to look up. 

"Plan B!" Maureen yelled suddenly when she realized Roger knew what they were up to. She started to tickle Mark in his side in the spot she knew he was most ticklish. When he leaned sideways to protect himself, Jen started on his other side. She pushed him just right, knocking him over the back of the couch, on to the cushions. As soon as he was down, Maureen hopped over the back of the couch on top of him, still tickling him. 

Mark was squirming and laughing and yelling for help from Roger, whose only response was to crack up. 

"Come on Marky, you gonna tell us?" Maureen kept tickling. 

"Yeah Mark? Or do we keep tickling you?"   
  
"Mo! Cut it out! Get off me! Stop it! Roger!" 

"You two are gonna hurt him." Joanna yelled at them through her own laughter. 

"Roger make them stop." Cass laughed. "His face is turning purple!"   
  
"Okay, okay." He laughed. "Let him go. Even though he's actually loving it."   
  
"Oh your so funny!" Mark told him, catching his breath as the girls let him up. "Thanks so much for all your help."   
  
"No problem." Roger grinned. 

"Okay so you gonna tell us? Or does Camera Boy get it again?" Jen joked at Roger. 

"Show them the picture." He told Cass grinning. 

She pulled the sonogram pictures out of the drawer and handed them to Jen and Maureen as everybody crowded around.

"It's a girl!" Jen said. 

"No it's a boy." Maureen said. 

"It's an alien!" Jason joked. 

"Sort of looks more alien like than anything else." Collins agreed as he and Jason laughed. 

"Hush you two. I think Jen's right, it's a girl." Joanne told them. 

"No it's a boy." Maureen said. "See, look." She pointed at the picture she held. 

"Um, that's an elbow Mo." Roger told her. 

"Oh."   
  
"Don't worry about it." Cass laughed. "He only knows that because he thought the same thing."   
  
"So if it's not a boy, a girl or an alien, what is it?" Jason asked. 

Roger looked at Cass who was grinning. "It's a boy."   
  
"Really?" Jen asked. 

"Yep! See!" Mark said grabbing the picture and pointing.   


"That looks like the elbow I saw before." 

"Well that one's not an elbow." Mark grinned.  
  
"This is so cool!" Jen bubbled, hugging onto Cass. "We know what it is. Now we have to go shopping for boy stuff!"   
  
"Wow! We're going to have a boy! I can't believe it! We're going to have a boy!" Maureen gushed, bouncing around the room and digging in her purse, pulling out her cell phone. 

Cass had gone back into the kitchen and was taking the pan of ziti she had ordered form the deli out of the oven. Roger followed her in and started kissing her on the neck. "Mo's a little excited." He told her. 

"Kind of like you and Mark earlier today." She grinned at him. 

"I guess."

"Who is she calling? Everybody is here." Cass asked him. 

"I think it's here mother." He smiled at her as his arms went around her waist. He laughed, listening to everyone else in by the couch. 

"I still don't see it."   
  
"That's because your holding it upside down Jason."   
  
"Are you sure that's not an elbow?"   
  
"Trust me." Mark laughed. "That's not an elbow. 

"Well at least we gave them something to talk about." Roger said popping a piece of bread into his mouth. 

"Are you going to call your mom?" She wanted you to after we went today."   
  
"Yeah, I'll call her later." He pulled the paper plates out of the cupboard. "Are you ever going to tell our dad?"   
  
"Yes, someday. Maybe." Her eyes went to the floor. "I don't know."   
  
He pulled her close again, kissing the top of her head. "It's okay Baby. Don't worry about any of them. You don't need them, you got all of us. And I love you." He hated seeing her upset. Especially over her family. Especially after everything they did to her.

"I know." She hugged him back. "Come on, let's eat." 


	73. 73

Chapter 73

Jason got up to get another pitcher of beer, leaving Collins, Mark and Maureen sitting at the table. Joanne was still standing outside the Iguana talking on her phone. 

"Cass and Krystal really sound good." Collins said as they finished up another Christmas song. 

"True, but you know, Roger's known me for years and never once asked me to sing." Maureen pouted. 

Mark sat up some, leaning into the two of them. "Have you guys noticed anything strange about Roger lately?"   
  
"Roger's always been strange Mark." Maureen joked.   
  
"I'm serious Mo."   
  
Collins could tell by the look on Mark's face how serious he was. He realized Maureen did too. "Strange how Mark? What's wrong?"   
  
"Just… look you two were around back then. You remember how he was."   
  
"What?" Maureen's eyes got wide. "You don't think he's using again do you?"   
  
"God, I don't know! I mean maybe I'm imagining it. I hope I'm imagining it. You know, after that whole thing with Cass' friend's funeral and the guy giving her the coke and all. I mean she was so upset. Which of course makes him real upset. And then boom, neither of them are upset. And now he's just acting weird. Kinda like he did back then."   
  
"He wouldn't start using again. He couldn't, not after everything to get clean. Not after everything with Mimi. He can't. He just can't. Especially now, with the baby and everything." The edge of panic showing through Maureen's voice.  
  
"Okay, calm down. Weird how Mark?"   
  
"Just, okay I asked him for some money to go to the store the other day, and he pulls this huge wad of cash out of his pocket. Then he disappears for the entire day, said he was with Izzy. The day after Cass' sonogram. Wouldn't say where he was or what they were doing."   
  
"Mark it's two days before Christmas. Maybe they went shopping or something."   
  
"There's more." Mark told Collins. "I went to go put his guitar away the other day. He almost bit my head off for touching his guitar case."   
  
"So?" Maureen was almost defensive. "Everybody knows that no one is allowed to touch Roger's guitar."   
  
"He didn't yell at me for touching the guitar Mo. He yelled at me for touching the case."   
  
"So what?"   
  
"Think back Mo." Collins said. "Remember where he used to hide all his drugs?"   
  
"In his guitar case." Mark answered for her. "He's also just been acting weird. Sort of out of it. Just not right. Not Roger. At least not Roger from the last few months."   
  
"No way!" Maureen argued. She felt like she was going to cry. "He wouldn't do that! Not now! Not to Cass! Mark how can you say that? How can you even think that? You're supposed to be his best friend!" By then she did start crying.

"It's because I am his best friend Mo! That's why I do think it."   
  
"Okay both of you calm down. This isn't getting us anywhere." He handed Maureen a napkin. "Here comes Jason and Joanne. What do you want to do Mark? You want to talk to him?"   
  
Mark stared down at the empty glass he had been playing with. "Yeah." He said slowly. "Yeah I do. I have too." He looked up from the glass. "Will you go with me?"   
  
Maureen watched Collins nod to Mark. "You guys are wrong. You have to be. He wouldn't do that to Cass. April was different. And Mimi. My God tomorrow's Christmas Eve. I mean right there's reason enough for him to act weird. You guys are wrong. You have to be."   
  
Just then Joanne and Jason came back to the table. "Sorry about that. My father is having last minute gift issues for my mother." She sat down. "What's wrong? Hunneybear are you okay?" She reached out for Maureen's hand. 

"Um, no. I've got a really bad headache. Can we go home?"   
  
"Sure. If you want." Joanne stood back up. "I guess we'll see you guys later. Tell Cass and Roger we said goodbye."   
  
"Mo…" Mark pleaded. 

"We gotta go. Call me tomorrow Mark."   
  
"What was all that about?" Jason asked as he poured more beers after they left. 

"Nothing." Mark said just as Cass, Roger and Krystal came over to the table and sat down. "Hey sweetie. You and Krystal sounded great."   
  
"Thanks. Where's Mo and Joanne?"   
  
"Um, they left." Collins answered her. "Mo didn't feel well."   
  
"That's too bad." Krystal said pouring herself a beer. "And here I am ready to party all night considering there is no school for the next week."   
  
"Good, then you close up for me." Izzy said, sitting down on a chair backwards, pouring himself a beer. 

"Hey I just got that pitcher." Jason harassed him. 

"Oh like any of you ever pay for your drinks."   
  
"We tip your bartenders." Jason laughed. "Except when it's Roger."   
  
Even Izzy laughed at that. "Seriously Krys. Any chance you'll close up for me tonight?"   
  
"You're kidding right? Why would I want to do that?" She asked him. 

"Because tomorrow I gotta go to Jersey, then come back here to pick you up just to go back to Jersey to be at your Mom's house at three in the afternoon, even though we won't eat for hours. And then I get to spend the night squished into that little bed in your old room so we can spend all of Christmas with your crazy family." He gave her a pathetic grin. 

"Sorry Iz, gotta do better than that." Krystal stood up and walked towards the bar. 

"But Krystal, baby, someday all this will be yours too." He held his arms out gesturing to the entire bar. Krystal looked back, but just kept on walking. 

"Oh now there's an offer she could refuse." Roger laughed. "At least she didn't laugh in your face Izzy."  
  
"Okay smart-ass. Just be ready at nine tomorrow morning."   
  
"Nine!"   
  
"Hello? Did you not just hear what I have to do tomorrow? Nine. I want to go and come back. I'll just sleep at Krystal's mom's house. Not like there is anything else to do."   
  
"Alright, alright." Roger leaned back in his chair and turned to Cass. "Will you make sure I'm up?"   
  
"Yes." She laughed at him. "I'll get you up. Can I go with you?"   
  
"No. I gotta go with Izzy. You stay home."   
  
Collins and Mark just looked at each other. "So how much longer you gonna be here tonight?" Mark asked him. 

"We've got one more set to play, but Cass is done. If you want to go home that's okay." He told Mark.   
  
"No. I'll wait for you. I want to talk to you about something anyway."   
  
"Okay. Whatever. We got to go Iz." Roger stood up, heading back towards his guitar, followed by Izzy. 

****************

"That's it!" Cass said hopping up. "Sooner he's packed up, sooner we can go." She hinted at Mark. "I need to find Krystal and get our stuff from the back."   
  
"Um, okay Cass." Mark told her heading to the stage followed by Collins. "We can't talk to him with her around." Mark whispered. 

  
"I know. I was hoping she'd want to go home early. Maybe we have to wait till tomorrow."   
  
Mark nodded, stepping up on to the stage. "Hey Rog. You want some help?"   
  
"Sure. Undo that amp for me."   
  
Collins picked up Roger's guitar case from the back. He was about to open it when Roger saw him. 

"Um, I got it!" He yelled at Collins, knocking over the guitar stand as he grabbed the case from Collins. 

"Just trying to help." He told him, shooting a look at Mark. 

"Yeah, sorry. It, ah, if you don't put it in just right, the case won't close." Roger stuttered. 

Mark was about to say something when Cass showed back up. "You almost ready? I'm tired."   


"Yeah, give us like ten more minutes. Then we'll be done."   
  
Mark realized he wasn't going to get the chance to talk to Roger tonight. And tomorrow morning he was taking off with Izzy for something. He looked at Cass. She almost glowed when she was with Roger. That first summer, when he had just met her, she seemed happy, but nothing like this. And Roger too. 

He had never been like this. Not ever. Certainly not in high school. With Mimi he was happy, but still very guarded, closed off after everything he had been through. With April, before the drugs, before everything it was closer to now, but still not the same. Never in his life did he want Maureen to be right more than he did at that moment. 

Jason's voice snapped Mark out of his thoughts. "Collins you almost ready?"   
  
"Um, yeah I guess." He answered, looking at Mark, knowing perfectly well they'd never get Roger alone. "Mark, I'll call you tomorrow morning. We'll see you guys later." Quietly they left as Mark nodded.

Roger said goodbye, picked up his guitar and walked into the back. Even if he couldn't talk to Roger, he could look in his guitar case tomorrow while Roger was out with Izzy. At least then he'd know something and that made him feel somewhat better. 

"Okay let's go." Roger walked out to the table Mark and Cass had sat down at. "Bye Iz."   
  
"Nine AM Davis!"   
  
"Yeah, yeah. I'll be ready." Roger laughed helping Cass put on her coat. "Come on."   
  
"Um, where's your guitar?" Mark asked. 

"In Izzy's office. I'll get it tomorrow. We have to come back here anyway."   
  
Damn Mark thought as they walked home. The two of them were laughing and joking as they walked in front of him, Roger's arm around Cass' waist. 

"Mark you okay?" Roger turned around and asked him. 

"Huh? Yeah, I was just thinking. Sorry."   


"Well snap out of it." Roger teased him, putting him into a headlock. 

"Yeah okay." He laughed. Maureen's got to be right. She's always right. At least she always thinks so. She had to be this time too. Right?

When they reached the loft they were still joking around. By the time they started climbing the stairs Roger had Cass piggyback and she was giggling. "Let's go to bed." Roger told Cass. "I'm tired and Izzy will be here in," he looked at his watch, "less than seven hours."   
  
"Okay." She jumped on his back again. "Night Marky."   
  
"Yeah, night Marky."   
  
"Yeah, night guys."   
  
Roger slid Cass off his back at their bedroom door before heading back over to Mark. "You sure you're okay Mark? What did you want to talk to me about?"   
  
"It will wait. Until tomorrow. But yeah, I'm okay. But thanks for asking Rog."   
  
"No problem buddy. Now go to bed."   
  
"Yeah." Mark grinned. "Are you? Okay I mean. All things considered and all?"   
  
Roger thought about that for a second. "Yeah I am." He grinned, looking towards their new bedroom. "Everything considered." He gave Mark a quick hug. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. After I get back. Okay?"   
  
"Yeah. Okay. Night Rog." Please God let Maureen be right.

*************

"Roger." Cass whispered into his ear. "Roger wake up." His only response was to mumble incoherently into the pillow. "Roger." She whispered again, running her tongue along his ear, playing with his earrings, then blowing across what she had just licked. 

"That was mean." He told her, rolling over and throwing an arm around her. 

"But fun." She grinned. "At least for me."   
  
"Oh yeah?" He reached up her side. "Well this is fun for me." He started to tickle her as she squirmed around trying to fight him off. He only stopped when his phone stated to ring.

"Roger stop! That's Izzy!" She laughed. 

"Okay, okay." He answered the phone. "Hello? Of course I'm ready." He lied as she laughed. "I've been up for an hour." He winked at her. "Yeah, okay twenty minutes. Honk the horn, I'll be looking for you." He listened then laughed. "Because it's friggin December and cold out. I'll look for you, don't worry. Just bring the stuff. Yeah. Bye." He hung up the phone. 

"Gee, I guess you have to get up now." Cass said pulling the blankets back up over her.

"Nice try, but you still can't come with us." He grinned. "Stay here and make sure Mark's okay for me."   
  
"Okay, I'll talk to him."   
  
Roger got up and started to get dressed as Cass watched him. "What?" He asked her. 

"Um I was just thinking."   
  
"Lot of that going around lately." He laughed. 

She grabbed his hand and pulled him down with her on the bed. "Roger?"   
  
"What's up?"   
  
"Listen," she held his hand in both of hers. "A, tomorrow is Christmas."   
  
"Uh huh."   
  
"Making today Christmas Eve."   
  
"Right." He said softly, looking down at her hands. 

"Look, I know all about Christmas Eve. Mark writes letters like he makes movies. You get a lot out of them. It's just," she paused as she bit her lip. "If you're not okay with today, it's okay. I mean I understand. Whatever you want. Okay Rog? I just want to make sure you're okay."   
  
He leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. "I love you Cass. I'll be back later." He stood up, grabbed his phone and boots and walked out into the living room, checking out the window for Izzy. He couldn't believe Cass. He kept telling himself how amazing she was. This just proved it more. Here he was on his way to get her Christmas present and she sits there telling him that. Worrying about him. Telling him if he wanted to go off and sulk over Mimi because it was Christmas Eve it was okay. That she understood.

He had a number of worst days in his life. Really crappy anniversaries. Ones she didn't know anything about out as well as ones she did. Lots of bad ones. When April died. When Angle died. When Mimi died. When his test came back positive. Not to mention rehab. Fights with his father. Stuff with his mom. 

But there had been good anniversaries. Like when he moved in with Mark and Collins. When the Well Hungarians got their first gig. When he met April. When he met Mimi. Which was tonight. Five years ago tonight he met Mimi. Four years ago tonight he almost lost her but got her back. Got her back for three more incredible years. Until she stared getting sick again. That was one year ago tonight. And by the end of March she was gone. 

So much had happened on Christmas Eve. No one would think Roger of all people to be sentimental. But he realized he had become that way. At least over stuff like anniversaries. At least now. Now that he had a count down to his own death date anniversary. 

And now he had Cass. Sweet, wonderful, incredible Cass. Who wanted to make sure he was okay because of Christmas Eve. Cass, who Roger realized he already had an anniversary date with. The day she came into his life. The day he met her. The day she saved him from himself. 

The horn blew outside and he knew it was Izzy. He also knew he wanted more anniversaries with Cass. Lots more. With that he grabbed an apple, his pills and a bottle of water and headed down the steps. 

"Morning." Izzy mumbled as Roger climbed into the car. 

"Hey." Roger bit into the apple. "You bring my stuff with you?"   
  
"Yeah. Here." He handed him an envelope. "You're sure about this?"   
  
"Never been more sure about anything else. Ever." Roger grinned at him. 

"Great. You know I'm gonna get a ton of shit form Krystal for this." Izzy laughed. "You owe me big time Davis. Big time."   
  


***************

"Hey sexy!" Cass called from her office to Mark as he stumbled out of his room. 

"Great. That must mean I look terrific." He tried to smooth down his hair he assumed was standing up. "Roger leave?" 

"Uh huh. A little after nine." She finished typing and got up, walking out to him. "Sweetie are you okay? You've been acting strange all day yesterday. Especially last night." She sat down next to him on the couch, tucking her feet under his legs to keep them warm. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've just been thinking about stuff is all."   
  
"You want to talk about it?"   
  
"No. Not yet. I'll tell you later. Okay?"   
  
"It that's what you want." She wiggled her toes under his leg, smiling at him. 

"Cass?" He looked at her, running his hand up her leg. "Is Roger okay? I mean is anything going on with him?"  
  
"Well, he has been a little strange the last few weeks. But I mean it's Christmas. He's got a lot of baggage that goes along with that." 

"That's true. Did he say anything about it?" 

"No. Not really. We sort of talked about it. He seems to be okay though."   
  
"Anything else?"   
  
"Well, he's worried about you." 

  
"Me?" Mark asked, surprised. 

"Yes. Me too. You have been so bummed the past few days. Is it Mimi?"   
  
"No. Well a little, but there's more to it than that. I just, I'm just worried about him is all."   
  
"I know. That's one of the things I love about you. Come on, I'll cook you breakfast." She hopped up. 

"You're going to cook? I thought you just said you loved me?"   
  
They sat around talking and eating toast and cereal for awhile longer before Cass went back to work. After awhile Collins, Maureen and Joanne came over. 

"Have you heard from him?" Joanne asked, obviously filled in on everything. 

"No, but Izzy said he had to be at Krystal's mom's by three. He should be home soon."   
  
Cass came out of the old bathroom drying her hair with a towel. "Well, by New year they should have our bathroom done. Which will be very nice. Mo what are you so fidgety about?"   
  
"Um, nothing." She dropped the remote onto the milk crate coffee table. 

"Okay. I'm going to get dressed." She walked into her room, closing the door. 

"I thought you were supposed to be an actress?" Mark whispered at her just as the phone rang. He hopped up and answered. While he was on the phone Jen and Jason walked in the door. 

"That was Roger. He'll be here in twenty minutes."   
  
"Okay, we'll get Cass and go to lunch." Joanne said as Maureen went to hurry up Cass. 

A few minutes later the bedroom door opened and Cass and Maureen came out. "Okay, I'm hurrying. God Mo, we have food. You're not going to starve in the next fifteen minutes. Have a snack."   


"Um, no. New diet, no snacks."   
  
"Let's just go. Please?" Jen asked. 

"Okay, okay. I'm ready. Are you guys going?"   
  
"No we ate." Collins lied. 

"Okay. Marky?"   
  
"No I'm gonna wait for Roger." 

  
"Okay. Bye sweetie. Tell him I'll be back later." She told him as Maureen and Jen pushed her out the door. 

"Well that wasn't too obvious." Jason tried to joke but it didn't go over. "Look it's up to you guys, you want me to stay or go?"   
  
"Stay." Collins said. "If it's true, it will be better to have you here."   
  
"Whatever you want." He reached over and took Collins hand as they sat and waited for Roger. 

Finally Mark heard Roger's key in the lock. He stood up and moved to the backside of the couch. 

"Hey!" Roger said, walking in carrying his guitar. They could tell he was surprised to see all three of them there, obviously waiting for him. "What's going on?" He looked around as he sat his guitar on the table. "Where's Cass? What's wrong?"   
  
When Mark didn't say anything Collins spoke. "Cass went to lunch with the girls, she'll be back later. 

"So what's going on Mark?" He asked in that you-better-give-me-a-straight-answer-father voice he had. 

"Look, we, I just need to ask you something." Roger just looked at him waiting. "What's in your guitar case?"   
  
"Um, my guitar?" He told him, confused. 

"Will you let me look in it?"   
  
"What are you talking about?" He was getting defensive. 

"Roger we want to know if you're using again." Collins flat out asked him. 

"What?" He almost yelled. "What the hell are you talking about? You think I'm shooting up again?"   
  
"No, not necessarily. Just anything."   
  
Roger's eyes narrowed as his emotions went from shock and surprise to anger. "Are you talking about, the coke? I told you we flushed it! What now you don't believe me? You think I'm lying?" He said accusingly at Mark.   
  
"Rog just tell me if you're doing drugs again. Anything. Please." Mark pleaded. "Just tell me the truth."   
  
As Mark said that, Roger could see the hurt in his eyes and hear the pain in his voice. Suddenly he felt bad for yelling at him. He knew immediately that was what was wrong with Mark the last few days. Mark thought he was using again. How could he think that? How could he have made Mark think that? Worry about that? Put Mark through that? Again. 

He sat down in a chair at the table, running his hands over his face. "No." He looked Mark right in the eye. "No I'm not using again. Nothing at all."   
  
"You swear?" Mark begged. 

"Yeah. I promise you. Like I told you, we flushed the coke right after you left. But why did you think that? How could you think that?" He asked Mark. It was clear they had both forgotten Collins and Jason were even in the room. 

"You've just been acting so weird lately and it's Christmas Eve and all the stuff that goes with that."   
  
"What? You think because of Mimi and the fact that it's Christmas I can't hold it together enough to stay clean? Give me a break Mark." 

"Okay alone that doesn't sound like much, but you had all that money. I mean a lot of money Roger. And you disappeared all day the next day and wouldn't say where you went. And then there's your guitar case. You about had a fit the other day when I touched your guitar case."   
  
"Last night too Roger, when I picked it up." Collins said. "You about flipped out. And that was where you used to keep you stash."   
  
Roger just looked at the three of them for a second then started to laugh. "Okay. I guess it looked kinda bad." He laughed again as he stood up and hugged Mark. "I love you man, you drive me crazy sometimes, but I love you anyway. You're too much Mark. But I don't know what I'd do without you Marky." 

Mark was caught somewhat off guard. "But Roger, what's going on?"   
  
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I couldn't. I wasn't ready to tell you. I'm still not sure I'm ready but it's too late now." He chuckled. "Okay, the money, I borrowed from Izzy. And the day your talking about I went with Izzy to Jersey. Just like today."   
  
"For what?"

"Hold on, I'm getting there." He held up his hand smiling. "You're right, I did keep my stash in my guitar case, but his time it was different, it was the money and the receipt."   
  
"Receipt for what?" Mark was still quite upset. "And why did you go all the way to Jersey?"   
  
"Damn Mark, it's Christmas I went to Jersey to get a Christmas present for Cass. Izzy took me to see Krystal's uncle. He said I could get a good deal with him."   
  
Jason had been listening to the whole conversation, a grin growing on his face. Finally he started laughing. 

"What's so funny?" Collins asked as they all looked at him. 

"Well, you're not going to like this, but apparently, at the meeting of the minds on this, the person that kept defending you the most and said you were Christmas shopping or something was Maureen." 

"He's right. Maureen swore there was no way you were using again."   
  
"You mean the only person that believed in me was Mo? That's _real _comforting." 

"It wasn't that we didn't believe you, there was just so many things that didn't look right." Collins explained. "And when Mark pointed it all out…"

"Yeah I know. What did Cass say?"   
  
"Um, we didn't say anything to her. That's why she's at lunch."   
  
Roger looked at Mark. "You mean she's got no idea about any of this?"   
  
"No." Mark shook his head. "I wasn't going to say anything till we knew what was going on."   
  
"Good." Roger grinned. "Let's keep it that way."   
  
"But what were you getting? That took all that money and going to Jersey?" Mark asked, still looking somewhat nervous. 

Roger could tell he was still upset. He felt bad about that. About doing that to Mark. "If I show it to you, will you relax?" Mark nodded. "Okay but you gotta promise not to say anything." 

"I promise."   
  
"Us too." Collins said. 

"Okay, I'll show you." He opened up his guitar case. "I gotta get a better hiding spot for my stuff." He laughed as he pulled out the two velvet boxes.


	74. 74

A/N Okay, a slight longer chapter, but it does answer the question as to what's in the velvet boxes! 

Just as a reminder, there are a few people in this chapter that we haven't heard from in awhile, so just a quick little who's who! 

Ginny – nursing student, was friends with Mimi and worked at the Cat Scratch with her. Now lives in her old apartment on the third floor. 

Leslie – lives next door to Ginny. 

Andrew - Social worker who works at Life Support. Also a drummer who has known Roger for years and used to play with him. Dates Jolean who's twin sister is Joellen who worked at the Life and was dating Mark for awhile.

That should cover it! Just don't want anyone getting confused. 

~~Kelby

Chapter 74

After taking his pills, Roger crawled back into bed. Cass felt the bed move and rolled over closer to him, curling her body around him for warmth. He smiled down at her, gently running his fingers along her face before stoking her hair. She mumbled something in her sleep and nuzzled into his neck. He couldn't help but smile at her. He knew he'd never get over how amazing she was. He grinned to himself thinking about her Christmas present sitting under their tree. Thinking about that and listening to her breath lulled him back to sleep. 

Cass' eyes fluttered open and she stretched her arms over her head. 

"Morning Baby." Roger said kissing her on the neck, moving up to her mouth. "Merry Christmas."   
  
"Merry Christmas Baby!" She kissed him back, sitting up. "What time is it?"   
  
"Almost 11:30."   
  
"Oh God! We need to get up! Did you take your pills?"   
  
"Yes, I took my pills. You never moved or woke up."   
  
"Well we were up really late. I bet Marky's not even up yet!"   
  
"I bet he's hungover as hell." 

"Come on! Let's get up! And get Mark up! And open presents!" She yanked on his arm. 

"Okay, Okay. What are you seven?" He laughed getting out of bed. 

"No just excited!" She dragged him across the loft to Mark's room. She opened the door to his room and jumped on his bed, followed by Roger. "Marky! Wake up!"   
  
Mark's only response was a groan as he pulled a pillow over his head. Roger just laughed at him. From under the pillow they heard him talking. "Yesterday you both told me you loved me. This isn't love."   
  
"But Marky it's Christmas! And we do love you!" She kissed him, bouncing on his bed. 

"Yeah Marky." Roger said, imitating Cass and bouncing on the bed. "It's Christmas and we do love you Marky." He made little kissy noises at him. 

"No, you both hate me. If you loved me you'd let me sleep."   
  
"Truthfully, if we really loved you we never would have let you drink that much last night in the first place." Roger laughed. 

"Oh like you were in any shape to stop him last night." Cass laughed at him, leaning on Mark and pulling the pillow off his face. "Come on Marky! It's Christmas!"   
  
"I'm Jewish." Mark said, pulling the pillow back over his head. 

"Okay. Enough messing around. Hungover or not, we're having Christmas!" Cass stood up. "Roger get him! We're having Christmas."   
  
Laughing, Roger grabbed Mark and picked him up as he started to yell to be put down. "Sorry buddy. She wants Christmas."   
  
"Okay, okay. Just put me down Roger!" Roger complied and tossed him onto the couch still laughing as Cass made them tea. 

"Here go." She brought in the tea. "Merry Christmas boys!"   
  
"Merry Christmas Baby." 

"Okay, enough." Mark said. "You got me up, now give me my Playstation."   
  
"Oh there's that Christmas spirit." Cass laughed. "I told you I didn't get you a Playstation." She grinned. "But you need to wait till everybody gets here."   
  
"If I have to wait, why did I have to get up?" Mark asked from the couch. 

"Well we could have let you sleep and then just let Maureen get you up when she gets here. That's always fun when you have a hangover." Roger told him. 

"Fun for you maybe."   
  
"Actually I was referring to me." He laughed. 

"Behave you two. Here you can have your stockings." She pulled them down and handed them over. Roger and Mark dumped them out and started in on the chocolate oranges and M&M's. 

Around twenty minutes later Collins, Jason and Jen showed up bringing coffee and cinnamon rolls. A few minutes later Maureen and Joanne got there. After everyone got settled they started to exchange presents with Maureen playing chief elf. 

"Oh this one's for me!" She squealed, ripping open the paper to find a tight little red sweater. "Oh I love it!"   
  
"So you mentioned about four times that day in the store." Joanne added. 

"Okay moving on." She picked up the next one. "Marky. Oh big box."   
  
Mark opened the paper. "Yes! Playstation II with games! I love you Cass!"   
  
"Cool! I love you too!" Jason added jumping up and looking through the games. "Let's hook it up!" He and Mark moved toward the TV. 

"Forget it!" Jen told him. "You can wait till later." She turned to Cass. "I thought you said you didn't get him a Playstation?"   
  
Cass shrugged. "I lied. I mean could you resist that when he does the pathetic puppy face?"   
  
"No, I guess not." Jen, along with everyone else laughed. 

"Hey it's a talent." Mark told them. "Okay Mo, who's next?"   
  
"Um," she picked up the small box. "This one's for Cass from Roger." She handed it to her, with a big stupid grin on her face. 

Roger suddenly realized everyone had stupid looking grins on their faces. He knew they all knew now. He watched as Cass lifted the red lid off and took the little velvet box out. Luckily he thought Cass didn't notice everyone sitting there staring at her. 

She opened the hinged box. "Oh Roger! It's beautiful! I love it!" She leaned forward and hugged him. Taking it out of the box.

"Let me see!" Maureen bounced up and down. 

Cass took the necklace out of the box and held up the delicate gold cross on the chain. "I love it! It's gorgeous!"

Roger was quite proud of himself. "You were always grabbing at your neck and I finally figured out what you were doing. Looking for your necklace. And I remember you said you lost your mom's cross."   
  
"I love it!"   
  
As she leaned into kiss him he looked over her shoulder and saw a very disappointed Maureen. He almost had to laugh. They finished up all the presents and Cass went into the kitchen with Jen. Roger pulled Mark closer to him and whispered. "What did you tell everybody?" 

"Well no, not exactly." Mark stuttered. 

"It's not his fault Roger." Jason whispered. "We had to tell Mo. Who of course told Jen and Joanne."   
  
"So when are you going to do it?" Maureen asked. 

"Yeah when?" Jason asked. 

  
"Will you guys cut it out! And stop staring at her every time I open my mouth! You're making me crazy."

Cass and Jen came back in and joined them as the looks flew around the group. Cass had ordered all the food for dinner, but Jen had taken over the needed cooking. Mark and Jason hooked up the Playstation in Mark's room and sat in there playing. Roger was playing his guitar while Cass and Collins played chess on his new set. About then the phone rang. 

"I'll get it." Maureen said from right by the phone. "Hello."   
  
"Oh hi. No this is Maureen, he's sitting right here." She looked up from the phone and called across the room. "Roger it's your mom." Still holding the phone she looked at him, definitely excited. "Oh Roger did you tell her we know Cass is gonna have a boy?"   
  
He walked over and pulled the telephone from her. "No Mo, I thought I'd let you tell her by yelling it across the room."  
  
"Oh sorry." She walked over and sat down by a laughing Collins, Cass, Jen and Joanne. 

"Hi Mom. You get all that?" Roger laughed into the phone. 

***************

"Are we going to do anything tonight?" Cass asked. 

"Well the Iguana's closed." Collins said. "We can find another bar, or go to the Life."   
  
"I'm up for staying here." Mark said grabbing a soda. 

"What Marky? You going to give up your search for a social life now that you have a Playstation?" Collins teased. 

"Can you see it now?" Maureen asked. "Hey baby, I got a Playstation in my room. You wanna come over?" She winked. 

"Don't knock him." Roger told her. "It got Jason in there." He started laughing. 

"Hey!" Collins and Jason called out. 

"Oh very funny." Mark turned to Jason. "Come on let's see if we can get to level nine."   
  
"I thought we had ice cream. Where's the ice cream?"   
  
"I think Jason finished yesterday." Collins said staring at his chessboard. 

"Oh. What about the Oreo's? Or bananas and chocolate sauce?"   
  
"Cass are you hungry or something?" Roger laughed. 

"Well, no. Sort of, maybe I guess."   
  
"There's a ton of food left from dinner. Which you hardly ate any of by the way." Jen pointed out. 

"Well I'm not hungry for that. Is the deli across from the life open?"   
  
"One of them must be." Roger told her, standing up. "There's only about a dozen delis in a three block area."   
  
"Good." She grinned. "Then it won't be hard to find ice cream and Oreo's."   
  
"And chips, get chips." Jason called from Mark's room. "With french onion dip."   
  
"I guess I'm talking you for ice cream." He went to their room for their jackets. "It's twelve degrees out, but we're going for ice cream."   
  
"And Oreo's." She grinned putting on her jacket. 

"Don't forget chips." Jason called as they walked out the door. 

"You think he's finally gonna do it? I can't take much more of this." Maureen said with her usual dramatic flare. 

"Well your making Roger crazy Mo!" Jen told her. 

"You're not much better!"   
  
"Everybody just relax. Technically we shouldn't even know any of this." Collins told them all. 

****************

Roger pushed open the deli door for Cass as they walked out into the light falling snow. "You're sure we've got everything? They have any junk food left in there?"   
  
"Oh you are so funny Davis."   
  
"I'm serious Babe. You got the munchies? You smoking weed down in Jen's apartment or something?" He teased her. 

"No, it just sounded good. Not all at he same time." She grinned sliding her arm around him

He pulled her close as they walked. "You have a good Christmas Baby?"   
  
"Yes I did. It was wonderful I love my necklace. Today was perfect." She hugged him. "What about you? Did you have a good Christmas?"   
  
"Yeah, pretty good." He grinned at her. Okay Davis you can do this. 

"Only pretty good?" She looked up at him. "Can I make it better?"   
  
"Maybe." He looked at her as they rounded the corner onto 11th Street. He stopped walking and set down the bag of groceries on the step to the building. "Cass, I, um…" He trailed off, taking her hand as he faced her. 

"What Roger?"   
  
"I, ah, um I got something else for you." He reached into his pocket, running his fingers over the velvet box. "I love you Cass, you know that. I really, love you. And the baby. More than I could ever tell you. I never thought I'd live this long Cass, and I only got so much time left. I don't know how much, but I want to spend all of it with you. All of it." He pulled the box out of his pocket. "I, um, here." He thrust the box forward. 

Cass just looked at it for a second before taking it. She held it in her hand as if afraid to open it. Roger reached over and pulled open the box. He heard her gasp. 

  
"Roger, I…" 

"He took a deep breath and spit the words out real fast. "Cass you wanna get married?" When he finished he realized that he was sweating even though it was so cold out. 

"I…"   
  
"Baby, I know I've got a lot of baggage. I can't change any of that, but I love you."   
  
"I love you too."   
  
"Baby I want to be with you forever, at least as long as my forever is."   
  
"Me too." She looked up at him. 

"So do you wanna marry me?"   
  
She kept looking in his eyes as she nodded. "Uh huh."   
  
"Really?" He sounded almost surprised. 

"Yes." She answered in a raspy whisper, still holding his gaze. 

He knew he had a huge stupid grin on his face. Roger finally looked down and realized she was still holding the open box. He reached down and pulled the ring out with one hand and took her glove off with the other. He could feel her hand shaking as he slid the platinum set diamond onto her finger. "I love you Cass." He pulled her close and kissed her. She tried to say it back to him but ended up mumbling it as she kissed him back. Her hands went around his neck as he lifted her almost off the ground. 

The street was quiet with the snow falling. The few cars that passed neither of them heard. The silence that surrounded them was only broken by the screechy voice yelling from above. 

"Well?" Maureen screamed down from the open window. 

Their kiss was broken as Cass started laughing. When they looked up all three windows across the front of the loft were open with two people each leaning out of them. "Sorry!" Mark yelled down, dragging Maureen, who had most of her body out the window back inside the building. 

"Close the damn windows!" Roger yelled up at them as Cass laughed. 

"Sorry Rog!" Jason yelled out. 

"But what did she say?" Jennifer was hollering out the window as Jason pulled on her shoulder. 

  
"I guess I should tell you, they sort of knew." Roger explained to Cass. "I mean they weren't supposed to, it just sort of happened. Mark flipped out, and called Collins and then to fix that I sorta had to tell them which lead to well, Jen and Mo, and you know how that goes. Sorry."   
  
"It's okay. We'd have to tell them anyway. Besides it explains why they have all been acting so weird all day." She laughed. 

"Are you gonna tell us what's going on?" Maureen yelled. 

Maybe you better tell them before Mo hurts herself." Cass laughed. 

"Maybe." Roger laughed. "Okay." He looked up at the windows where they all still were. "We're gonna get married." He yelled up at the windows. 

The six of them all started yelling and whistling out the windows. "We better go inside." Cass laughed. "Either somebody's going to get hurt or arrested."   
  
"Whatever you want Baby." He told her as they started to walk up the steps. He had already opened the door when he remembered to go back and pick up the bag of groceries off the bottom step.

**************

It took a few minutes for them to make it up to the fourth floor. Every few steps, Roger would stop and kiss her. When they finally reached the loft everyone was waiting for them. "God it's freezing in here." Cass exclaimed walking in the door. 

"That's because they had all the windows open." Roger told her, laughing. 

By then they were surrounded by everyone, talking at once and Cass was getting pulled around by Jen and Maureen who kept going on and on. 

"Let me see!"   
  
"He picked that out on his own?"   
  
"Oh my God, I still don't believe it." The two of them rambled on. 

Mark looked guiltily at Roger. "Sorry. You know how they get. I tried to keep her quiet, but she bit me."   
  
Roger looked up and started laughing. "She bit you?"   
  
"Hey it's not funny. I was trying to help you out."   
  
"Thanks, I appreciate that." He laughed as the girls moved back over towards them. "You bit him?" He looked at Maureen as Cass gave them a strange look. 

"It was a strategic maneuver." She blew it off. "So, details. When are you getting married? And where? And what about a reception? And a dress? And who gets to be in it? Come on tell us!"   
  
Cass and Roger started laughing. "Yeah Mo," he told her, "we figured all that out on the walk up the stairs. 

Everybody laughed at that. Around then Ginny showed up at the loft. "Hey! I thought you were having a Christmas party up here?" She said dropping two bags of chips and dip on the counter. 

They were filling her in on everything that happened when the phone rang. Jason, sitting the closest, answered it. "Who's this?" He asked. "Yeah, hold on a second." He covered the phone with his hand. "Cass, it's your father. You want to talk to him?"   
  
"He's calling now?" She looked at her watch. "He must be in the states. Yes, I'll talk to him." She picked up the new cordless phone she had gotten them for Christmas when she realized it wasn't charged yet, she took the phone from Jason and dragged it towards their room where Roger was standing in the doorway. She moved past him into the room. "Close the door." She whispered, motioning for him to come sit on the bed with her. 

"Hey." Cass said into the phone. "Where are you?"   
  
"LA. I called to tell you Merry Christmas."   
  
"Thanks. You too." Cass told him. 

"I, uh, wanted to get you something for Christmas. Something you need. I was thinking about a car. Sound good sweetie?"   
  
"I live in New York Carlton. Cars aren't exactly practical. I don't want a car."   
  
"Cassiopeia how are you getting around? The subway? Be reasonable." 

"I am being reasonable. Subways and cabs are way more practical than a car. Besides parking is too difficult."   
  
"Are you still living in that dump?"

"Yes. It's coming along nicely. The renovations are almost finished."   
  
"You're wasting your money."   
  
"It's my money to waste."   
  
"Well if you don't want a car for Chirstmas what do you want?"   
  
"World peace?"   
  
"Very funny. Look I'm going to send you a check. No wait. I'll send you a pre paid debit card. That way you don't have to worry about the bank or anything."   
  
"You don't have to." She told him. 

"No, I want to. I'll have one of the girls send it out tomorrow. Ten thousand dolars. Buy some decent thinks for that place you live in. Maybe an alarm. And a gun."   
  
"It's not that bad of a place. But thanks."   
  
"I miss you, you know. You're okay though? Those guys are taking good care of you?"   
  
"They have names Carlton." She looked down at her ring, playing with it on her finger before looking down at Roger who had lain down on the bed behind her. "And yes, they are taking very good care of me. I'm fine. We all are." She smiled at Roger. 

"Well, good, I guess. Do you need anything?"   
  
"No. Wait yes. I want my jewelry. All of it. Especially Mama's. Before Gigi sinks her greedy little claws into any of it."   
  
"Your aunt is not going to do anything to your mother's jewelry."   
  
"Oh please! She's wanted her jewelry for years. You said you're in LA right? Just pack everything up and send somebody out here with it."   
  
"That's a lot of jewelry for your current neighborhood. Besides you never wear any of it."   
  
"They have safety deposit boxes in New York Carlton. And whether I wear it or not, it's mine. I inherited it from Mama and I want it. More importantly I don't want Gigi anywhere near it."   
  
"Okay." He sighed. "I'll take care of it. I think I've got someone going out there right after New Years. I'll set it up and let you know."   
  
"Thank you."   
  
"You're welcome. I should go. Merry Christmas."   
  
"You too. Bye." With that she hung up the phone.

Roger had been rubbing her shoulders while she talked. "You okay Baby?"   
  
"Yes." She leaned back against him. 

"What was all that about cars and jewelry?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer on the bed. 

"He wanted to buy me a car. I told him no." She shrugged. "He's sending me a pre paid debit card instead." She shrugged. 

"Oh." He propped himself up on his elbow. 

"As for the jewelry, he's sending me mine. Everything I got form my mother."   
  
"I noticed you didn't mention anything about us to him." He said as he intertwined their fingers and played with her ring. 

"Well it's none of his business." She rolled onto her back, looking up at him. "He doesn't need to know anything. I don't want him around trying to ruin everything."   
  
"Okay, whatever you want Baby."   
  
"I just want you. Forever."   
  
"You got it." He grinned down at her. 

"I still can't believe you want to get married."   
  
"Honestly, neither can I, but I do. Wherever, whenever, and however you want." He kissed her quick. 

"Really?"   
  
"Really. I'll take you to the courthouse tomorrow if you want. Just you, me and Mark. I'll do whatever you want."   
  
"I love you Roger." She held him tight. 

"I love you too Baby." He kissed her again. "So what do you want?"   
  
"Just you."   
  
"We established that. I mean to get married. What do you want?"   
  
She thought about it for a second. "What I really want is just to marry you. But what I'd like is a wedding sort of. I'd like just one thing in my life to be semi normal."   
  
"Okay. So what do you want to do?"   
  
"Well," she smiled up at him, playing with her ring. "I'm not exactly thinking four hundred people and a sit down dinner. But maybe a little more than you, me and Mark. Like maybe us and our friends. And maybe a small party. And a dress. I'd kind of like a real dress. But that means we have to do it soon. Before I explode to the size of a house. Or else wait till after the baby's born."   
  
"I kinda want to do it before the baby's born." He told her. 

"Really?"   
  
"Yeah, I think so."   
  
"Then we'd have to do it soon." She looked up at him. 

"Then we will. Party, friends, dress soon. It sounds kinda expensive though. You may have to settle for the Life Café. But if that's what you want, you got it Baby."   
  
Well, maybe we can do better than Life Café. We'll let my father pay for it." She grinned. "He's supposed to anyway."   
  
"Wouldn't that require telling and maybe inviting him as well as seeing him?"  
  
"Or we use the pre paid debit card he's sending me for Christmas. That should cover a dress and one hell of a dinner."   
  
"How much is he sending you?" He asked surprised. 

"Ten thousand dollars. I told you he wanted to get me a car."   
  
"Oh." He didn't really know what to say. 

"Look, he's sending the money, we might as well use it."

Roger just looked at her. He didn't like taking money from her father. He didn't like that Cass paid for everything already anyway. But she wanted a wedding. If it took swallowing whatever pride he had to get her that, he could do it. "Okay. If we gotta use your dad's money to give you a wedding, that's what we'll do." He kissed her forehead.

**************

They lay on the bed, talking for awhile longer. They could hear everyone out in the other room talking. Talking about them. "We should go back out there." Cass told him. 

He kissed her again, running his hand up her back under her shirt. "But I'd rather stay in here. With you."   
  
"But everybody's out there. Waiting."   
  
"Let them wait." He told her, kissing her again. 

"Izzy won't like that." She told him, hearing Izzy's voice out in the living room. 

"Screw Izzy." He said kissing her again. 

"Yo Davis, get your ass out here!" Izzy yelled, banging on the wall. 

"Told you." Cass laughed, sitting up. 

"I gotta talk to him about his timing. It really sucks."   
  
"Come on!" She laughed, pulling him up. They walked out and the excitement started up again added in by Ginny, Krystal and Leslie who had also shown up. Izzy had gone down to help Andrew bring up his drums. 

"So, let me see." Krystal told Cass, grabbing her hand. "I still can't believe it." She shook her head. 

"Friggin amazing." Ginny said popping open a beer Izzy had brought. 

"So what are you going to do? And when?" Leslie asked her as Roger walked over for a beer. 

"You won't believe this, but hey haven't bothered to figure that out yet." Maureen told her, almost disgusted. 

"And I can't believe you bit Mark." Roger laughed, opening his beer. "And for your information Maureen, we did figure all that out." All the girls and Mark just looked at him as he continued. "Cass wants a wedding, so she get a wedding." With that he walked over to where Andrew was setting up his drums. 

"Really?" Jen asked wide-eyed. 

"Uh huh." Cass nodded, still not quite believing everything that had gone on that day. 

As the girls talked and Cass relayed the conversation she and Roger had just had to them, Mark walked over to Roger. "Have you got any idea at all what you're doing?" Roger looked up at him with the stupidest look on his face. If Mark didn't know better, he would have thought Roger was already drunk. 

"Nope." He just kept grinning. "Not a clue." He tuned his guitar some. "But I kinda like it that way for a change."   
  
"You owe me so big Davis! After spending over 24 hours with Krystal's family, I tell her what's going on and she flips on me. Now for some reason she's pissed at me."   
  
"Really?" Jason asked. "How long have you been going out with her Iz?"   
  
"I don't know." He played with his bass. "Like nine years."   
  
"Really. Can't imagine why she's giving you grief Iz." Andrew laughed. 

"No, me either." Jason started laughing as well.

"Whatever. Are we playing or not?" Izzy ignored him, fiddling with his amp. 

"Only if we can get lover boy's attention" Andrew motioned towards Roger who was talking to Mark. "Not that I have anything better to do anyways. Since my girlfriend and her crazy twin left me to go visit their insane family." 

"Hey speaking of that," Jason asked him. "Do you know what really happened between Mark and Joellen?"   
  
"No." Andrew shook his head. "I mean I know it wasn't like some big fight or anything. They just started seeing other people or something I guess. I don't know. Luckily, I'm not privy to all the inside sister stuff." He shrugged. "I guess it was no big deal." 

"Oh. I was just wondering. I mean it just seems like Joellen just sort of disappeared." 

"Yeah, she has a habit of doing that with the guys she dates. Plus she doesn't really like competition. And let's face it, with Mark, she had a two many people to compete with." 

"Yeah, I know what you mean." He nodded, looking towards Roger and Mark who where still talking. 

"I told you." Roger said, playing with the volume on the amp. "She wants a wedding and a party and a dress. Which means soon. Whatever she wants."   
  
"Roger…" 

"Mark…" Roger mocked him. "Look, what's wrong?"   
  
"Nothing." Mark said looking from Roger to Cass. Both of them were grinning like idiots. "You know, this might be one of the few good ideas you've ever had."   
  
"Thanks." He looked at him somewhat confused as he grinned. "I think."   
  
"Rog, let's go!" Andrew called to him. 

Roger flipped the last switch on the amp as he nodded. They started playing and played all night. Without complaint Roger did Christmas music. Even Izzy's beloved 80's music. They played all night till almost two in the morning. Then they sat around talking for another hour. 

"I'm out of here." Andrew told them. "I'll pick my drums up later this week. Thanks Rog. And congratulations."   
  
"Thanks. See you Andrew."   
  
"Yeah we gotta go too. I'll pick my bass and amp up tomorrow before practice."   
  
"Do I get a ride with your bass or do I still have to walk?"   
  
"Funny jackass. Just be ready. Where's Krystal?" He looked around, not seeing her. 

  
"She' laying down in our room. She has been for two hours." Roger laughed at him. 

"Izzy went to get her and leave as Collins moved into his seat, yawning. 

"You guys can stay here if you want, leave Mark on the couch. He won't know the difference anyway." He motioned towards the passed out Mark at the other end of the couch.

"Naw, that's okay. I'd rather sleep in, instead of be here when the invasion hits tomorrow." 

"What are you talking about?" Roger laughed quietly, trying not to wake Cass who was leaning against him, fast asleep. 

"Noon tomorrow all the girls are coming over to get Cass and plan _your _wedding." Jason laughed. 

"Yeah," Collins told him. "Joanne and Jen are on vacation the rest of this week. Mo's off tomorrow and Thursday and Krystal is on Christmas break like us."   
  
"Great." Roger said somewhat unenthusiastically. 

"Oh buddy, you have no idea." Jason laughed. "I mean girls and a wedding. You're doomed." He shrugged. 

"What's the big deal?"   
  
Collins laughed as Jason explained. "Don't you realized girls live for weddings? I mean most of them start planning these things around sixth grade. If it's not theirs, they'll impose their wedding plans on their friends.

"And look at who we're talking about here. Two lesbians, with little hope of a 'real' wedding. Krystal who's been waiting on Izzy for almost a decade. And then there's my sister."   
  
"How do you know all this stuff?" Roger asked him. 

  
"Please! I've known I was gay since night grade. My sister hated everyone in our small little town. I was her best girlfriend. I had to fix her hair, shop with her and look at all her stupid magazines. That's how I know all this. It's also why my father assumed I turned out gay, but that's not the point. The point is, out of all those girls, Cass is the only one with the chance of a wedding and the financial resources to have the wedding they all dream of."

"He's right." Collins laughed. "You may be getting married, but Mo, Joanne, Jen and Krystal are getting a wedding."   


"And what about her?" Roger asked pointing at the still sleeping Cass. 

"Cass?" Jason asked. "She's not like them. I doubt she grew up dreaming of all this stuff like them. Probably not one of her junior high priorities."   
  
"True." Collins agreed. "She may want a wedding, but what she really wants is to marry you. Not completely sure why, but to each their own I guess." He grinned. "Come on, let's go home." He and Jason stood, said goodbye and left. 

Roger just sat on the couch for a few more minutes. Cass was sound asleep in one corner, her legs over his lap, and Mark was passed out at the other end of the couch. He watched her sleep for a minute before brushing her hair off her face. 

She was so beautiful. He was right, he really didn't have the slightest idea what he was doing, and he didn't care. This was the first time in a really long time that things felt so right. That's why none of this bothered him. At all. 

Roger gently inched forward while working his arm behind her back. In one movement he scooped her up and stood up, carrying her to their room. 

"What's going on?" She mumbled into his shoulder. 

"Nothing Baby, go back to sleep." He laid her down on the bed and puled off her shoes before sliding her jeans off and covering her up with the blanket. She mumbled something he didn't understand. He just grinned and kissed her on the forehead. "Shhh, Baby go to sleep."   
  
He stood up and went back into the living room. Mark was leaned up against the arm of the couch, sound asleep and glasses askew on his face. Roger knew Mark hadn't had that much to drink so he figured it was more a combination of a few beers and Mark being really tired. "Marky." He gently shook him as he hoisted him off the couch. "Marky wake up."   
  
"Where'd everybody go?" He asked sleepily. 

  
Roger laughed and adjusted Mark's glasses. "They all went home. It's really late." He walked him to his bedroom door. "You okay Marky?" 

"Yeah, I'm just really tired." He yawned. "Night Rog."   
  
"Night buddy." He grinned at him as he turned back towards his room. 

"Hey Rog?"   
  
"Yeah?" He turned back around. 

"I, uh, I just wanted to tell you, I, uh, I'm real glad for you and Cass. I think it's a good thing."   
  
"Thanks." He pulled him close and hugged him. "You know you're my best friend Mark and nothing will ever change that right?"   
  
"Yeah, I know." Mark told him, hugging him back. "You too."   
  
"Go to bed." Roger said as he let go of him and started towards his room.


	75. 75

Chapter 75

Cass realized that when she got up at ten to get Roger's pills she should have gone to the bathroom then. Then she could have stayed in bed, asleep, where it was warm instead of getting up now. On her way back to her room, she heard the knocking at the door. It's only eleven thirty. Jen, Maureen, Joanne and Krystal aren't supposed to be here till noon. And they are supposed to be late, definitely not early. She was supposed to be able to lay down for another twenty minutes, she thought. 

"You guys aren't supposed to be here yet, much less early." She told them as she opened the door. 

"I know, I know, I'm early. Mom wouldn't let me take the train, she drove me."   
  
"Molly!" Cass said very surprised to see her. "What are you doing here?"   
  
"I'm coming to visit remember?" She told her walking in the door. "I emailed Mark two days ago."   
  
"Mark doesn't read his email!" She stammered.

"Molly are you sure this is a good idea?" Mrs. Cohen said as she made it to the top of the stairs. "Oh hello dear. Kate right?"   
  
"It's Cass, but come on in." Cass told her instantly regretting it as she turned around and saw the condition of the loft from last night. "Um, sorry about the mess," she picked up a few beer bottles and an empty bag of chips. "We had a sort of Chirstmas party last night. It was pretty late."   
  
"I'm sure." She replied, eyeing the loft as Cindy walked in behind her. 

"Wow this place looks much… different than the last time we were here, huh Mommy?" Cindy said looking around. "Hi, I'm Cindy, Mark's sister." She held out her hand, checking out Cass. 

"Hi, um, I'm Cass. We met at your wedding."   
  
"Oh. Oh! You were the one in the red dress with the, um, with Mark!"   
  
"Yeah, that was me." Cass said, realizing she was wearing Mark's old flannel pajama pants and an old tee shirt of Roger's cut off at mid drift length. "Let me get Mark. Do you want some tea? I think were out of coffee." She put the hot water on the stove on her way to Mark's room. I'll be right back."   


Forcing a smile she headed to Mark's door. As soon as she stepped inside she lost the smile. "Mark! Shit Mark wake up!"   
  
"What?" He rolled over.

"Molly's here! Now."   
  
"What?" He groaned. 

"And your mother and Cindy!"   
  
"What!" He sat up in bed. "This not a funny joke Cass."   
  
"Do I look like I'm joking?" She threw him a pair of jeans and a decent looking shirt. "And hurry up!" She walked back out into the living room. "Mark will be out in a second. Like I said, it was a pretty late last night." She smiled at them. 

"Cool!" Molly grinned. 

"Mom! What are you doing here?"   
  
"Mark!" She hugged him. "I thought you invited your sister to visit?" She shot a look at Molly. 

  
"Um, I did. I just wasn't expecting her right now."   
  
"She emailed you Mark." Cass looked at his mom. "I'll have to check the computer again, I've been having problems getting mail lately." Cass lied. 

"Well I'm here now, everything's set so you guys can go shopping now." Molly said sarcastically. 

"Molly!" Mrs. Cohen snapped at her. "Just relax."   
  
"Hey Mark." Cindy waved, giving him her evil grin. 

"Hi Cindy."   
  
"Um, the water's hot if you want tea." Cass told them, stepping into her room. 

"So Mark, this place really looks different from the last time we were here." Cindy told him. 

Cass came back out and was making tea when she heard Joanne and Maureen coming in the door followed by Jen. 

"Okay we're here, on time and you're not ready!" Maureen laughed, not seeing everyone else. 

"Mo, we have company." Cass told her in a low whisper. 

"Oh, sorry I didn't, Mrs. Cohen! Oh God!"   
  
"Hello Maureen." Mrs. Cohen said dryly as Mark tried to disappear into the couch cushions. 

"Hello Maureen." Cindy kept the evil grin on her face. 

"Um, hi." Maureen said quietly. 

"So who are your friends?" She asked knowing perfectly well who Joanne probably was. 

  
"Um, this is Jen, she lives downstairs. And this," she grabbed Joanne's hand, "is Joanne, my girlfriend."   
  
"Uh huh. So we were just saying how different this place looks." Cindy smirked. 

"Yes, you didn't have walls last time." Mrs. Cohen pointed out. "Just mattresses in every corner." She glared at Maureen. 

"Well the renovations are almost finished. Just the one bathroom and then the painting."   
  
"Well it certainly looks different. And bigger then the last time we stopped by." Cindy said again.

"Yeah well, a lot of things have changed since the one time you came by here." Mark said focusing on his tea. 

Just then the bedroom door opened and out came Roger, wearing only boxers, yawning and scratching his chest. Not even noticing everybody else there as he headed towards the kitchen. "Baby what were you saying about Mark's mom?" He yawned. 

"Then again, maybe they haven't." Cindy kept the evil grin plastered across her face as Mark's hands covered over his own face. 

"Roger we have company." Cass told him in a hushed voice.

"Huh, oh hey Mrs. Cohen." Roger grinned. "Hey Cindy." 

  
"Roger ." Mrs. Cohen said somewhat embarrassed. 

When Mark didn't move to fill the awkward silence, Jen moved in. "So did Mark tell you Roger and Cass are getting married? We're supposed to be working on the wedding stuff today."   
  
"You planning on wearing pants to your wedding Roger?" Cindy asked him. 

"Huh? Oh yeah. I, uh, just got up." He said turning back toward his room. 

"So," Mark said hopping up, "how long are you letting Molly stay Mom?"   
  
"I still don't know about this." Mrs. Cohen told him. 

"Oh Mom, Molly will be fine." Cindy said looking at Mark. "Marky would never let anything happen to her. Besides, Cass lives with them now too. And she's responsible, I mean she has to be, she's having a baby and all."   
  
"Yeah Mom, you said I could stay." Molly glared at her mother. 

"I'm just not sure this is a good idea."   
  
"Oh but Mark really needs her help on his new film project." Cass lied. "He needs help shooting some stuff this week. I was supposed to help him, but between work and wedding stuff now I'm too busy. That's why he was so excited she was coming to help."   
  
"Well, I guess it will be okay. If Mark needs your help." She said, standing up and looking around. "Just be careful. And don't go anywhere alone. And keep your cell phone with you." She opened her purse. "Here's some more money and an emergency credit card." She whispered, looking over her shoulder. "Don't carry it all with you if you go outside, but put it somewhere safe. Just be careful." Mrs. Cohen hugged her. 

"Yes Mother." Molly rolled her eyes. 

"Okay. Marky you look out for your baby sister. Don't let anything happen to her. Don't let anyone strange talk to her or anything either."   
  
"Yes Mom." Mark sighed. He followed Cindy and his mother over to the door with Molly as his mom continued to give the two of them complete instructions. 

When they finally left Mark came back over and flopped on the couch, dropping his head into Cass' lap as Molly slid onto the floor.

"So your sister's still a major bitch." Maureen said. 

"Tell me about it." Molly agreed. 

"Well that was fun. Thanks so much Mol! Why didn't you call? Or at least take the bus?"   
  
"Hello? Not my fault you don't read your email. And I wanted to take the bus, but the evil princess started pushing how that just wasn't a good idea and how after dropping me off they could go shopping."   
  
Cass looked around. "Roger you can come out now, they're gone." She yelled towards their room. A minute later the bedroom door opened and out came Roger, this time wearing pants. 

"Chicken." Mark hissed. 

"I figured why fan the fire." He laughed. "Hey Molly. So I hear your sister's still a bitch."   
  
"Yep. Sure is." She laughed. "So you guys are really getting married?"   
  
"Uh huh." He grinned, heading into the kitchen. 

"Which reminds me, we need to get to work." Maureen said, pulling a notebook out of an old briefcase of Joanne's. "You go get dressed," she pointed at Cass. "We've got a lot to do and not much time."   
  
"Yes mam!" Cass laughed saluting her, walking into the bathroom. 

"Okay," Jen said, looking over the list she and Maureen had already made. Krystal walked in as Roger and Mark listened on. "We need to find a place, a dress, somebody to do it, a photographer, a florist and music. Anything else?" 

"Clothes for Heckle and Jeckle over there." Krystal laughed. 

"Hey how did I get sucked into this? I'm just the roommate and camera man." Mark laughed. 

"Oh that's it, I've got it." Maureen exclaimed. 

"Oh God, we're in trouble." Mark teased as Roger laughed. 

  
"Okay, we have it all at the Iguana, Mark can film it and Izzy and Roger can play! Three things down." She grinned obviously proud of herself.

They all laughed at that. "That's a good thought Hunneybear, but I'm betting Cass would prefer something a few steps up from the Iguana. No offense Krystal."   
  
"Please, none taken. You can't get much lower than that dump." Krystal laughed. 

"How is Roger going to play at his own wedding? And how could Mark film it if he's in it?" Jen asked her. 

  
"Okay, good point." Maureen said, going back through her list. 

"Hey what do we have to do?" Mark asked from the couch.

"Nothing." Maureen said, looking up from her notes. "Just show up on time and look decent."   
  
"Don't worry, I've got that covered." Jen said. "When we get everything nailed down, I'll put Jason and Collins on those two. They'll be there, on time, dressed and ready to go."   
  
"Glad to know we're taken care of." Roger laughed as Cass came back out and sat down. 

********************

"Hey sleepy head, wake up." Roger kissed her. 

"Hey." She yawned, stretching. 

"Are you guys up yet? The psycho chicks are due here in half an hour Cass." Mark called through the door. 

Cass rolled her eyes as Roger laughed. "Yes we're up Mark, come on in. Where's Molly?"   
  
"Still asleep. We were up late looking at some of my films." Mark told him sitting down on the bed.

"How did your show go last night Baby?"   
  
"Pretty good. I'm glad we're done with Christmas music though. Unfortunately Izzy's new thing is to have an all pop 80's night." Roger said, looking disgusted. 

"You're kidding." Mark laughed. "What did you tell him?"   
  
"To get a DJ." Roger laughed. 

"Oh you're bad!" Cass swatted at him, sitting up. 

"So what happened yesterday with the, what did you call them?" He asked Mark.  
  
"Psycho chicks."   
  
"Right. What happened yesterday with them?" He grinned at her. 

"Well," she smiled, "they found a place, the Tribeca Grand. We can have the whole thing there. We also got a few rooms so we can all spend the night. They set it up for three weeks from the Saturday. The evening of Saturday January 19th. You okay with that?"   
  
He brushed a piece of hair off her face. "Yeah, I'm okay with that. Are you okay with that?"   
  
"Uh huh."   
  
"Good." He kissed hr forehead. "How about you Mark, you okay with that?"   
  
"Me? Yeah that's cool with me." Mark got that stupid grin on his face again. 

"Good. What else?"  
  
"Well, they found a florist. Teddy and her husband Alex Logan. You know them, she's got long red hair, wears it braided down her back."   
  
"From Life Support?" Mark asked. 

"Uh huh. Is that okay Roger?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess. I don't mind if that's what you mean."   
  
"Okay, because they found somebody to take pictures from Life Support too. Tina Jackson. I met her once outside Elizabeth's office. You sure you're okay with that?"   
  
"Yeah, it's alright Baby." He smiled at her. 

"What did you do all day?" Mark asked. "It sounds like they did everything."   
  
"They did." She laughed. "I just got dragged alone. I realized yesterday, we may be getting married, but those four are having a wedding."   
  
Roger laughed, thinking back to the conversation the other night. "Yeah Jason was saying something about that."   
  
"Well, Krystal's talking to the guy that DJ's for Izzy once in awhile. Joanne is taking care of getting a judge. Maybe her uncle. And today they drag me somewhere to find a dress."   
  
"That's it? Cindy's wedding was way more hassle and took like eight months to set up."   
  
"That was a much bigger deal." She told him. 

"Not to mention Cindy's a pain in the ass." Roger laughed, joined by Mark. 

"Well, apparently dresses usually take like six months to get, but Jen talked to some people she works with, and we're going somewhere today. Someplace to get one off the rack, no ordering necessary. Jen can get it altered at work if we need to."   
  
"And that's it?" Roger asked. "You're all done?"   
  
"Well we need to finalize everything like flowers and license and things. And get rings."   
  
"We can go back to Krystal's uncle's place in Jersey."   
  
"Okay. The only other thing is how many people are going to be there."   
  
"How many?" Roger asked cautiously. 

"Well, there's the eight of us, plus Ginny and Leslie and Izzy and Krystal. That's twelve. Anybody else?"   
  
"No, that'll do it."   
  
"Um, what about your mom Roger?" She asked, looking up at him. 

"I, I don't know. I'll have to think about that."   
  
"Okay Roger." She leaned against him. "Whatever you want. Mo did have a really good idea though."   
  
"This ought to be good." Mark grinned. 

  
"Well," Cass smiled. "She figured you'd want to get it all on film, but you'd be too busy so, she thought you could have Molly do it for you."   
  
"Hey that is a great idea." Roger said. "My God, I just said that about one of Maureen's ideas." He shook his head.

"Behave you two." She told them standing up and walking out of the bedroom. 

"I still can't believe you're getting married." Mark told him when Cass was gone.

"I know, but it actually feels right."   
  
"I never thought I'd see you getting married. I mean Roger Davis, married with a wife and kid." Mark said shaking his head. 

Roger laughed thinking about that. "Well you're right, it does sound strange, but not that strange. I mean think about it, according to our friends you and I sound like we're married at times."   
  
"That's true." Mark laughed. I guess I should be relieved. I mean I'm not losing a best friend, especially considering one of my best friends is marrying the other one, and no one's moving out. No, I've decide to look at it as gaining somebody else to take care of your sorry ass!"   
  
"Oh thanks." Roger threw a pillow at him. "As my best man you're supposed to be nice to me!"

************

"Okay," Maureen told them, sipping her coffee as she looked over her notes. "White roses with little purple accents in them."   
  
"Are you sure? What about pink accents instead?" Jen asked. 

"No, Cass isn't really a pink person." She explained. 

"I suppose asking Cass what she wants would be too much trouble?" Mark asked, looking from the girls on the couch to Cass across the room at her computer.

"We know what she wants." Maureen explained. "Right Cass?" 

"Yes Mo." She laughed, not looking up from her computer. 

When there was a knock at the door, Mark moved to get it. "Yeah?"   
  
"Uh, yes, I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong address, but just to be sure, is Cass Sullivan here?"

"Yeah, she's here. What do you want?"   
  
"Oh. Well I have something for her. A delivery from her father, Carlton."   
  
"Um, hold on a second." Mark told him, closing the door. "Cass?"   
  
"I heard. Mo put that stuff away and nobody needs to mention, well anything. I'll be right back." She stepped into her bedroom, coming back a minute later in one of Roger's over sized sweatshirts to cover the slight pudge of her belly. Walking to the door, Cass opened it. "Marco? What are you doing here?"   
  
"Hello Cass. How are you? Your father asked me to deliver this to you." He held out a small, locked case and an envelope. 

"Wow, that was really quick. I didn't expect this until sometime next week."   
  
"Well, I was coming out to New York for vacation over New Year's. Your father asked me to drop this off for you. You look good Cass. When are you coming back home?"

"No time soon. I kind of like it out here."

"Really?" He arched an eyebrow as he gave her a grin. "I always thought of you as more the Malibu Barbie type Cass." 

"Yes well…" She trailed off, trying to get rid of him. By then Roger walked up behind her and glared at the guy. "So thanks for bringing by my stuff. I need to get back to work. Have a good vacation Marco."   
  
"Yeah, thanks." Marco said, somewhat disappointed as Roger closed the door on him. 

Cass laughed at Roger as she walked over to the couch and sat down. "God that guy is a leech. Yuck!" She ripped open the envelope. 

"I love it when Roger does the big tough guy thing to scare people." Maureen laughed, pulling her notebook back out. 

"What is all that Cass?" Joanne asked, seeing the smile cross over Cass' face. 

"That is the debit card Carlton sent me for Christmas." She tossed it to Maureen. "Here Mo, pay for everything with that."   
  
"Cool!"   
  
"And this," she read the combination off the letter in the envelope then opened the case, "is my mother's jewelry." 

Collins and Jason came in as everyone gathered around the milk crate coffee table. Mark filled them in as they walked over. 

"Cass these are gorgeous." Krystal said picking up an emerald tennis bracelet. 

"This stuff is incredible." Maureen said wide-eyed. "You got a tiara in there too, or just he Hope diamond?"   
  
"Maureen behave, and take those off." Joanne told her. "But she's right, all of it is gorgeous."   
  
"Wow," Jen said, holding a diamond choker to her face. 

"I've never seen so many diamonds." Molly said in awe. "What are you going to do with it all?"   
  
"Well, these I want." She pulled out a box holding a pearl choker and matching earrings. "The rest of it I'll put in a safety deposit box."   
  
"I don't see you ever wearing any of that. Especially around here." Jason commented. 

"I probably won't. I mean most of it I've never worn." She shrugged. "It was my mom's. Some of it was my grandmothers. It's not that I like it all that much, some of it is down right ugly. I just wanted it and to make sure my aunt doesn't get a hold of any of it."   
  
"So you're just gonna lock it all up someplace?" Molly asked. 

"Yes, for now. Someday, if we need the money, I'll sell some of it." She looked up at Roger and Mark smiling. "No big deal." She started to pack the case back up. 

"So where are you guys going on your honeymoon?" Molly asked. 

"Huh?" Roger said looking up. 

  
"Oh my God, I never thought about that." Maureen exclaimed. 

"What are you talking about?" Cass asked. 

"She's right. Where are you guys gonna go?" Jen asked. 

"Nowhere I guess." Cass shrugged, turning back to the jewelry box. "I mean I have to work and Roger has to work at the bar, plus he's got rehearsal and the band has to play."   
  
"But you have to go somewhere!" Molly argued. 

  
"Yeah, you have to. It's like a rule." Jen joked. 

"And don't worry about Izzy. I'll take care of him. He owes me." Krystal grinned. 

"I don't know you guys." Cass tried to protest. 

"We could go to Atlantic City if you want." Roger told her, trying to be helpful. 

"Oh there's romance." Jen said dryly as everyone else laughed. 

"Okay, we'll add that to the list." Maureen said, making notes. "We'll have to take care of that later. Now we have to get going or we're going to run out of time today. Jen you know where we're going?" 

"Yup."   
  
"Okay. And those two know what they're doing?"   
  
"What exactly are we doing?" Collins asked, looking from Jason to Jen. 

"You two are supposed to supervise Mark and Roger getting tuxes." Maureen explained. 

"What?" Roger said. 

  
"Oh sorry. I meant to tell you that yesterday. But here's where you need to go. And here's the credit card number to put it on." She handed them the paper. 

  
"Gee Mo, you're awfully good at giving orders and spending other people's money." Mark said sarcastically. 

"Isn't she though?" Joanne replied to Mark. 

  
"Oh hush you two." Maureen ignored them. "Well, let's go already! Snap to it! Molly you want to go with us or help baby-sit the boys?"   
  
Cass got up to get her shoes from their room as Roger walked in behind her. "Mark's right, they are psycho chicks!" He told her. 

  
"I'm sorry. I didn't know she was going to do all that."   
  
He grinned at her. "It's okay Baby. Don't let them make you crazy though. She's good at that."   
  
Cass smiled at that. "You're right, she is."   
  
"Hey Babe?" He pulled her close. "Do you want to go someplace? You know, after?"   
  
"That would be kinda nice. Maybe someplace warm?" She grinned up at him. 

"That's cool. Whatever you want. We'll figure it out tomorrow." He kissed her forehead. "Just one question, when we go away, it's gonna be just us right? We're not taking Mark with us or anything are we?""  
  
Cass had to laugh at that. "Um, I wasn't planning on it. Unless of course you want to."   
  
"No." He kissed her. "Definitely not." 

  
  



	76. 76

Chapter 76

"Okay, Dave and Jason you're on the bar. Mark's running. Tina and the girls are on the floor and Krystal and Cass can float." Izzy explained, taking another piece of fried chicken. 

"So what the hell am I here for?"   
  
"Roger buddy, you get to bounce with me. And help Dave when he needs it."   
  
"Oh, so in other words," Krystal said wiping grease off her hands, "while we're working our asses off, you two get to stand at the door flirting with every underager trying to get their hand stamped."   
  
All the guys started laughing as Izzy tried to defend himself. "Come on Krystal, you know it's not like that baby."   
  
"Izzy we're not going to have any problems till late. Why don't you put Mark on the door and let Jason run? At least until they start to get rowdy." Dave asked. 

"If I do that, I'll have every eighteen year old in line showing him their tits just to get in."   
  
"Hey!" Mark protested, turning red as Roger and Jason started laughing. 

"Whatever, can we just stick with my plan for now? I mean I bought you guys dinner. What more do you all want?"   
  
"To not have to work at all tonight." Tina whined. 

  
"Yeah then I could spend tonight with my girlfriend Iz." Dave told him. 

"First of all, all I heard form you last week was how you needed more hours." He told Tina. "And your girlfriend," he told Dave, "is working a party. So I don't want to hear it. Now get to work!" He stood up to head to his office. 

"Hey Izzy?" Roger called to him. 

Izzy turned around to face him. "What? I don't want to hear any bitching from you Davis. Your girlfriend is here. Half your friends are here. The other half of them will show up later and drink my beer for free. Plus you're abandoning me for almost two weeks. So what is your problem?"   
  
"Um, nothing. I was gonna ask you if you checked the kegs yet?"   
  
"Uh, no. Go check them." He stormed off. 

"You harassing your boss again Rog?" Cass winked at him to let him know she was teasing. 

"You know me," he took her by the hand leading her to the keg room and closing the door behind them. "Always causing trouble." He pinned her against the wall and started kissing her. 

After a few minutes she pulled away from him. "Roger we need to go back out there." She laughed. "Izzy is going to open in a few minutes."   
  
"Screw Izzy." He kissed her again. Just then the door flew open and Mark stuck his head in the keg room. "What?" Roger yelled at him. 

"Sorry." Mark blushed. "Izzy's looking for you Rog."   
  
"Tell him we're on our way." Cass smiled at him. "Let's go Roger."   
  
Izzy opened the bar and people poured in. By 10 PM the place was full, including Collins, Ginny, Leslie, Jen, Joanne and Maureen, who was decked out in her special skin tight pink leather New Year's Eve outfit. 

"What's going on with Mo and Joanne?" Cass asked a blurry eyed Collins as she put up a pitcher of beer. 

"Well, they haven't really been talking all that much tonight. And it's not being helped by Maureen going on about the girls at the end of the bar throwing themselves at Mark."   
  
"Yeah, he's in his glory." Jason laughed, walking by. 

"What's up with the two of them Cass?" Collins asked her.

"Who? Mo and Joanne?"   
  
"No. Mo and Mark."   
  
Cass looked up at him. "I don't know. Maybe I should start paying a little more attention." She thought about it for a second and realized Mark and Mo had been acting strange lately. She had been so wrapped up in Roger she hadn't noticed really. Cass made a mental note to talk tot Roger about it. 

The Iguana was hopping going into midnight. Cass took two beers and headed over to the door. "Hey Baby, I brought you a beer."   
  
"Thanks." He hugged her. "What's going on at the bar?"   
  
"Well, Collins is drunk and cracking everyone up, including Jason. Ginny, Leslie and Jen are making good time with the guys in the corner. Mark is getting hit on by the two barely legals at the end of the bar. I heard him telling them about being a filmmaker. I think they're aspiring actresses." She grinned. 

"I told him if he learns how to work it that film thing could get him somewhere." Roger laughed. 

"Well, as long as Mo doesn't scratch their eyes out."   
  
"Oh man, is she doing the jealous bitch thing again? While she's sitting with Joanne?"   
  
"It looks that way."   
  
"Man, what are they doing?" He shook his head, sitting down and pulling her onto his lap. "How you doing Baby?"   
  
"I'm okay. Just tired. How much longer?"   
  
"Two minutes. Go sit down in the back for awhile if you want." He kissed her on the neck. 

"No I'm okay. Did you take your pills?"   
  
He nodded while still kissing her neck. 

"Roger did you talk to your mom yet?"   
  
He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "No. I was going to call her tomorrow."   
  
"What are you going to tell her?"   
  
"That we're getting married."   
  
"Are you going to invite her?"   
  
"I don't know. I have to talk to her. I sort of want her there, but I don't want all of them there. I sort of just want us there. Mark and Collins and everybody."   
  
"Okay Roger. Whatever you want." She hugged him as everyone started the countdown.

Roger stood up, still holding her as they counted down. 

"Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!" The room exploded with noise and cheering. 

Roger hugged her tight as he kissed her. "Love you Baby."   
  
"I love you too. It's going to be a happy New Year!"   
  
The words rang through his brain. He'd heard them before. He heard them from Mimi. Five years ago tonight. Five years ago almost to the minute. Five years. So many things had happened. So many things had changed. Here he was, marrying Cass. And happy. Very happy. He barely remembered every being this happy. Even with Mimi. Or April. It wasn't just that so many things were different, he was different. He grew up. He grew up and had moved on with his life, to a better place. Something both Mimi and April would have wanted. Would have made them happy. 

He smiled at that thought and kissed her again. "You're right, it's going to be a happy New Year." 

*************

"You guys done cleaning up?" Izzy asked, dropping the night's receipts into his lock box.  
  
"Yeah. What do you want to drink?" Dave yelled to him.   
  
"Give me another rum and coke and everybody else can get whatever they want."   
  
"We already did." Roger said sitting down and putting his feet up on the table. "How did we do tonight?"   
  
"Pretty damn good." He finished off his drink and reached for the new one Dave brought him. "Hey where are the girls?"   
  
Roger laughed. "They've been asleep on the pullout in your office for an hour." He told him as Jason, Dave and Tina sat down with them. "Collins okay?" He asked Jason. 

"He won't be tomorrow, but Joanne said she'd make sure he got home okay. Can't say the same for Mo though."   
  
"Yeah, what was up with her tonight?" Tina asked Roger and Jason. "She was like almost nice to me, but damn was she vicious to those girls that were hanging on Mark."   
  
"Where is Mark?"   
  
"Asleep with the girls." Roger said. "What was going on with him and Mo?"   
  
"She was acting like a jealous bitchy girlfriend. Unfortunately she was drunk and doing it in front of her current girlfriend."   
  
"We're going to have to watch her. Joanne leaves for Washington again next week doesn't she?"   
  
"Uh huh." Jason said, drinking his beer. "She's been a real pain in the ass since this whole wedding thing started. If she tells me one more time 'because I'm the maid of honor that's why' I'm gonna smack her." He laughed. 

"You know Maureen."   
  
"I still can't believe your getting married." Dave said shaking his head.

"Yup. In nineteen days." Was all Roger said. 

  
"Trust me neither can anyone else." Jason laughed. 

"And I'm getting crap from Krystal because they're getting married."   
  
"Oh Izzy," Tina rolled her eyes at him. "What do you expect, nine years later?" She turned back to Roger. "So you guys are going away right?"   
  
"Uh huh. We're going to the Bahamas. Paradise Island. Not exactly like the stuff Cass is used to, but it was short notice and I don't have a passport."   
  
"I've been there. You'll love it." Tina told him. "You're not taking Mark are you?"   
  
"No." Roger told her as everyone else laughed. "We are not taking Mark. Why does everybody keep asking us that?"   
  
"No idea Rog." Jason laughed finishing his beer. "God it's after 4:30. I'm going home. You want to share a cab Roger?"   
  
"Yeah, see if you can get one and I'll go wake those two up." He got up and went into the back. Cass, Mark and Krystal were all squished on the little fold out sleeper sofa in Izzy's office. It was always drafty back there and Krystal had Izzy's jacket over her to keep warm. 

Roger stood there for a second and watched Cass and Mark sleeping. He could tell she had been cold by the way she was curled around Mark. He had an arm protectively wrapped around her. Roger knew Mark loved her. He always would. He also knew Mark knew how much Roger loved Cass. Mark probably loved her as much as he did. Mark loved her and still let Roger have her. Mark was his best friend. He loved Mark. He always had. But for bringing Cass to his life and then letting him love her, Roger loved Mark even more.

"Cass, Baby wake up. You too Mark. Come on you guys, wake up." He whispered, shaking them. 

"What time is it?" Mark said groggily. 

"Almost five. Come on wake up."   
  
"Are we going home?" Cass curled into Mark more. 

"Yeah, we're going home. Come on. Jason's getting us a cab." He pulled her up and helped her put her coat on. 

"I don't suppose Izzy's ready to go yet?"   
  
"Sorry Krystal I didn't mean to wake you up. But yeah, he's got to be getting ready to go soon."   
  
"Thank God." She laid back down pulling another coat over her. 

"Bye Krystal. I'll see you later." Cass said sleepily. 

"Buy you guys. Happy New Year."   
  
"Yeah happy New Year Krystal." Roger said moving Mark and Cass out the door. He realized he really meant it too.

**********

Roger yawned as he watched Cass and Mark talking. He looked up when he realized Jen was talking to him. "Huh?"   
  
"I said wake up! What are you so tired for?"   
  
"Hello? Some of us worked last night instead of trying to make time with a bunch of guidoes at the bar." He laughed at her. 

  
"Well they were kinda cute." Jen said. 

"And buying." Ginny pointed out. 

"Because they thought they might get in your pants." Jason laughed at them. "He's right though, we didn't get out of there till almost five this morning."   
  
"But definitely worth it." Mark threw in. 

"Yeah we noticed." Roger laughed at him as he started to blush. "So did you tell those girls they can star in your next movie or what?"   
  
"I was referring to the money. And I didn't tell them anything like that. Anyway they were pretty young."   
  
"Not to mentioned scared to death of your psychotic lesbian ex-girlfriend." Jason laughed. 

"Yeah well, that too…" Mark trailed off. 

The food came and they all started eating. "What was her problem last night anyway?" Ginny asked. 

"Who knows. Same shit as usual." Jason shrugged. 

Just then Mark's phone rang. "Speak of the devil. Literally." He turned on the phone. "What's up Mo?" Mark listened for a minute before standing up. "Okay, hold on."   
  
Mark walked out the door and they saw Maureen on the sidewalk with a very large suitcase. 

"What the hell is he doing?" Roger demanded from a group of people that knew as much as him. 

They watched Mark and Maureen talk for a few minutes. Maureen was more dramatic and animated than usual. They all watched as Mark pulled out his keys and handed them to her before coming back in and sitting down at the table, picking up his burger. 

"What's going on Mark?" Collins asked slowly, the remnants of his hangover showing through. 

"Yeah what the hell is going on?" Roger was getting excited. "What's she doing? And with that suitcase? She is not moving in! No way! Are you out of your mind!" He didn't even realize he was yelling at Mark or that everyone was just looking at him.

"What are you talking about? Why would Mo move in with us?" Mark was thoroughly confused. 

"Well then what's she doing? And with the suitcase? You can't be serious Mark!"   
  
Mark started laughing at him. "Oh relax! She's not moving in dumbass, she's doing her laundry!"   
  
Roger suddenly realized he overreacted to the whole thing. "Laundry? Oh. Sorry." He tried to blow it off as Mark laughed. 

"Oh the great Roger Davis, apologizes! And Mark without his camera!" Ginny laughed. 

Collins decided the only way to save his throbbing head from his hangover was to move the conversation along and change the subject. "So did you tell your mom your getting married yet?" He asked Roger. 

"Yeah, I told her today."   
  
"You did?" Cass asked, surprised. "What did she say?"   
  
"She was a little surprised." He laughed. 

"She ain't the only one." Ginny snorted, sipping her beer. 

"Yeah, so I told her we are getting married on the 19th. She thinks it's cool." He shrugged. 

"So is she coming?" Mark asked. 

"Um, no." Roger played with his beer mug. "I just sort of told her we were getting married. I didn't exactly invite her."   
  
"Oh that must have gone over good." Ginny commented sarcastically. 

"Don't you have a test to study for or something?" Mark snapped at her, shutting her up. 

"I told her it was just us going. Cut me a break, I've been talking to her for like four months after not talking to her for like six years."   
  
"Uh huh." Ginny said. "So Cass is your dad coming?"   
  
"What are you nuts? I'd never tell him." She made a face. "He would try and ruin everything. Plus he and Andre would make me get a pre-nup."   
  
"Now that would be funny." Jason laughed. "I could see it now."   
  
"What?" Collins asked. 

"Can't you just see Cass and Roger in divorce court? They wouldn't fight over money, it would be over custody of Mark!" He started laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. 

"Hey! What am I, eight?" Mark asked as everyone started to laugh. 

"Oh please! Roger would never leave me. Because I would get custody of Mark." She joked, pulling Mark towards her. 

"No you wouldn't." Roger teased, tickling her. "Mark would stay with me!"   
  
"You two are perfect for each other." Mark told them, rolling his eyes. "You're both nuts! I'd move in with Jen!"   
  
"Ha! Forget it film boy!" Jen laughed. "Cass does your dad even know your pregnant yet?"   
  
"No. And I have no intention of telling him either. Maybe I'll wait a few years and then let the baby tell him." 

They all laughed at that as they finished their dinners.


	77. 77

Chapter 77

"Okay, we're here!" Maureen called as she walked into the loft, followed by Joanne, Jen, Jason Collins, Ginny and Leslie. 

"Hey." Cass smiled at them from her laptop on the couch. "Come on in."   
  
"Where are the boys?" Joanne asked.

"They aren't ready yet. They would have been ready by now, but hey spent all afternoon playing some new video game." 

"Which one?" Jason asked excitedly. 

"The one that causes them to be really late!" Maureen snapped. 

"Relax. They're in the shower. They'll be ready soon." Cass laughed. 

"In the shower? Together? I always knew those two were like that." Ginny teased. 

"No." Cass laughed. "Mark's in the shower in his fully functioning and finished bathroom and Roger's in the shower in our fully functioning and finished bathroom. We have three of those now you know." She smirked. 

"Don't remind us!" Joanne joked. "Some things in life are just not fair!"   
  
"God I remember when two people couldn't take a shower in a row, much less at the same time." Maureen said shaking her head. "Three whole bathrooms."   
  
"Yup Cass, you've got now idea how things have changed around here." Collins commented. 

Just then the bedroom door opened and Roger came out, hair dripping, wearing a towel. "Hey!" He grinned at everyone. "Cass where are my pants."   
  
"Look in the dryer."   
  
Just then Mark came out of his bathroom in his boxers. "Cass where are my glasses? I don't want to wear my contacts to a bar it's too smokey."   
  
"Look in the kitchen." She laughed with everyone. 

  
"Then again maybe things haven't changed all that much." Collins laughed. 

They sat around talking while Mark and Roger finished getting ready. Izzy and Krystal got there and Maureen started to yell at Mark and Roger to hurry up because they were getting behind schedule. 

"Jeez Maureen," Jason scoffed at her, "she made you maid of honor, not queen of the whole frigging world. Relax."   
  
Everyone laughed as Mark walked up behind the couch. "But Maureen's always been queen of the world. Just ask her, she'll tell you." He joked climbing over the back of the couch, sitting behind Cass. 

"I'm just going to ignore all of you." She told them. 

"So where are we going?" Jen asked her. 

  
"Well the guys can go where ever they want." She shot a look at Mark who nodded. "But I figured we could eat then start at the Clit Club and move on to a few more bars from there." She explained as Roger joined them. 

"Okay, let me make sure I understand this." Ginny said with a sarcastic grin. "We're taking Cass out because her and Roger are getting married next weekend."   
  
"Duh Ginny." Maureen told her. 

"No, no, let me finish." She laughed. "We're taking out Cass, who is pregnant and can't drink, or smoke and is marrying Roger which technically should make her straight. So keeping all that in mind we're going to your favorite dark, smoky lesbian bar!"   
  
Everyone including Cass and Roger started laughing at that. "Yeah, Mo," Jason asked her, "who's this party for anyway, you or Cass?"   
  
"Well I didn't think of that." Maureen looked down at her feet. 

"It's okay Mo. I don't care where we go, let's just go. I'm getting hungry."  
  
"Okay, we're just waiting on one more person." She bit her lip and looked at Mark. 

  
"Who?" Jen looked around. "Everyone we know is here."   
  
"Okay well, now don't get upset Roger, but well, Cass is friends with her and all."   
  
"Who Mo?"   
  
"Well, Alison. And besides, she's bringing the company limo." She sat back waiting for the explosion that never came. 

"You called Alison?" He asked amazed. "But you hate Muffy!"   
  
"Well Roger I happen to be a big enough person to be able to put aside my petty grievances and go out and have a good time with my friends."   
  
"That and the fact she could get a company limo to drive us around doesn't hurt either." Joanne threw in. 

"Yeah well." She shrugged as they heard a knock at the door. "Everybody just behave." She told them, getting up to open the door, letting Alison and Benny in. 

"Hey! Oh my God this place is incredible Cass. I never would have thought it possible." Alison said as they walked in. "Why couldn't you have ever done something like this with this place?" She asked Benny. "I mean look at this place. They have more square footage then we do."   
  
"Yeah well, it was a dump then." Benny shrugged. 

"Wow I still can't get over this place. Is it all finished?"   
  
"Everything but the painting." Mark said, pointing at the stack of paint cans by the wall. 

  
"Yes," Cass laughed. "We'll get that done sometimes in the next five years or so."   
  
"I said I'll start painting. Will you two relax!" Roger yelled at them, then grinned so they knew he was kidding.

"The car is down stairs if everybody's ready." Alison told them 

"Cool." Maureen said grabbing her coat. "Well, let's go! The girl said she was hungry." She tried to hurry them out before Roger could yell at her about Alison and Benny. 

"Okay, okay." Cass told her, knowing perfectly well what Maureen was doing. "I need to get my shoes and jacket. Go ahead, I'll be down in few."   
  
Taking the hint, the girls headed downstairs. Cass walked into the bedroom. When Cass was out of the room Benny looked at Roger. "Um, Rog, if you want me to take off I will. No hard feelings. Mark and Mo just thought, you know."   
  
"Mark and Mo huh?" Roger said looking at Mark. "Yeah, I don't care. Let me get my jacket and we can go." He walked into his room, followed by Mark as Collins and Benny started talking.

"Roger I…" Mark stared. 

"Don't worry about it Mark. It's okay."   
  
"Well, we just thought, you know kinda like the old days."   
  
"I said it's okay Mark." He told him sitting on the bed and pulling on his boots. 

  
"Okay. As long as you're sure." Mark said stepping back out the door. 

Roger lay back on the bed, watching Cass in the bathroom. When she heard Mark leave she stepped out of the bathroom. "You sure?"   
  
He sat up and pulled her close to him. "Yeah, it's okay."   
  
"They were trying to be nice."   
  
"I know. It's okay. Really." He kissed her belly. "Now go before you screw up Mo's schedule. And be careful."   
  
"I will." She smiled at him. "You too. And try to have fun." She kissed him. "And behave."   
  
"Always." He stood up and kissed her again. "No go."   
  
"Okay. Bye. Love you." She walked out into the living room over to Mark and Collins. She handed Mark an envelope. "Here go. That should be enough to get you started."   
  
"Thanks Cass." Mark smiled, taking the envelope and hugging her.

"Yeah, yeah. Now listen. Don't get into any fights or any trouble. Do you hear me?" Mark, Collins and Jason all shook their heads. She turned to Collins and Jason. "And you two, don't let him get so drunk he's sick or passing out. And don't let anything happen to him. And for God sake, don't lose him!"   
  
"Who Roger?" Jason asked, confused. 

"No. I don't worry about Roger in the least. He and Izzy will still be standing when you all are out cold. I'm talking about Mark!"   
  
"Oh that makes more sense." Izzy laughed. 

"Hey! You know I'm not as much of a light weight as you all think." Mark protested. 

  
"Right." Benny laughed. 

"Bye sweetie." She kissed Mark's check. "Have fun boys." With that she left. 

**************

Roger got up from his seat by the stage and went to the bar for another drink. He sat there, watching his friends for a few minutes. He hadn't seen Mark having that good a time at a bar ever. 

"Damn, whatever it is she does to him, she should have come to New York a long time ago. That boy's got years of being way to serious and not enough fun to get out of him."   
  
Roger looked up at Mark again. He knew Mark was buzzed big time. He could tell by the stupid grin on his face and the fact that Mark was sliding money into some dancer's garter. "You're right." He laughed. "I don't know if he's ever actually done that before." He pointed at Mark. 

"You'd think he'd have lots of experience, having been friends with us."   
  
"Yeah but this is Mark we're talking about here. He's more the look don't touch type. Just be glad he didn't bring the camera."   
  
"Yeah I guess." Benny played with his beer bottle. "You know he was worried about whether or not you'd want to go to a strip club. All things considered and all."   
  
Roger smiled, looking straight ahead. "Mark's the only person in the world who would ever even think about that."

"Yeah well, he did." Benny told him, leaning back against the bar and watching the rest of them at their table. "He called me you know. To ask me what I thought."   
  
"What did you tell him?"   
  
"That he needed to ask you, not me." They sat there quietly for a few minutes, looking at everything but each other. "I still really miss her you know. I loved her too Roger."   
  
"I know."   
  
"She was an incredible person."   
  
"Yup."   
  
"She would have really liked Cass."

  
"Yeah, she did. They kinda knew each other. Cause of Mark. They talked and wrote some letters."   
  
Benny smiled at that. "Yeah, I can see the two of them as really good friends." He started to laugh. "And really big trouble makers. Could you imagine it? We'd be their biggest sources of amusement I'm sure."   
  
Roger smiled at the thought of that. He could just picture Cass and Mimi as friends and causing trouble. He was right. He and Benny would have been the target of a lot. "Yeah, it's scary enough that Cass and Maureen are such good friends."   
  
"Yeah." Benny laughed softly. "A Mimi – Cass thing would definitely have had Mo right there in the middle of it too."

They sat there again not speaking for what seemed like forever before Benny spoke again. "Rog, I'm really sorry. For everything. And I know that can't make up for all the crap I put you and Mark through, or everything with Mimi, but I do mean it. And I am sorry. But I'm glad we're sort of friends again. Or at least not trying to rip each others throats out. And I really am happy for you."

"Thanks."   
  
They watched Izzy and Jason start laughing at something so hard Jason almost feel into Izzy's lap. "Considering they're gay, are Collins and Jason supposed to be having that must fun here?"   
  
"You know Collins." Roger shrugged as he laughed. "Life is to be lived and fun can be found anywhere. Of course Mark and Jason being trashed out of their minds is helping I'm sure."   
  
"I'm sure." Benny stood up laughing as he walked back over to their table. 

Roger just watched them all sitting there. Laughing and joking with each other and the two girls who had been paying them attention. Izzy got up when he saw Benny come back over. 

"You know you could have gotten drunk and watched the porn channel at my place for all the fun you look like you're having."   
  
"Sorry. I'm having fun. Really." He played with his glass. "It's been awhile since I hung out in a strip club."   
  
"Yeah. That's cool." Izzy leaned against the bar. "Hey Rog?"   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"What made you decide to marry Cass? I mean what was the final thing that made you decide?"   
  
Roger thought about it for a second before turning towards him on his stool. "I don't know. I mean I don't know if there was a final decision making thing. It just seemed right once I started thinking about it." He grinned thinking back on it. 

"So what made you even think about it in the first place? I mean it's not like your being harped at every five minutes after nine years or anything."  
  
Roger laughed at that as he signaled for another beer. "Well it was over Thanksgiving while we were at my mom's. Jack came over. I told you about that right?" Roger continued as Izzy nodded. "Well the last thing Jack yelled at me before leaving was how I could take my junkie girlfriend and my bastard kid and go to hell."   
  
"Oh yeah, I forgot what a nice guy your father is."   
  
"But that was it."   
  
"What was it?" Izzy asked, confused, as he finished off his beer. 

"What he said." He stared down at his beer, picking at the label. "I love Cass, with everything I've got. And she deserves way more than I could ever give her, but I got way more going for me than that bastard will ever give me credit for. "  
  
Izzy just gave him a look as Roger continued. "Look, he's always hated me because he thinks I'm not his. And I wish to God I wasn't, but it looks pretty much like I am." He sighed. "I don't know, it's hard to explain. I just, look all I want is Cass and for her to be happy. And I would want that, baby or no baby. But considering there is one I don't ever want my kid to feel like I did around Jack."   
  
"Even though it's not…"  
  
Roger's head shot up and he glared at Izzy. "I love Cass. That makes it my kid. Period. You understand?" He almost surprised himself at how serious he sounded. 

"Hey, relax, I didn't mean anything by it. I think it's really cool. The whole thing is great." Izzy sipped his beer. "Your lucky you know. Both of you."   
  
Roger didn't ever remember thinking of himself as lucky. Not growing up with Jack. Or using with April. Especially after what April did and then his test came back. Even with Mimi. They were happy to have found each other. To be together. But they never considered themselves lucky. Neither him nor Mimi. Ever. Until now. Even with everything he realized finally he was lucky. Lucky to have Cass. Lucky to have the baby. Lucky to have Mark. As well as all their friends. Roger Davis, lucky guy. What a concept he thought. He looked up at Izzy and smiled. "Yeah, I know."   
  
"Come on," Izzy stood up with his beer. "I'll buy you a lap dance." He laughed. "That is if we can pry one of those two girls off of Mark. What is it with him all of a sudden? I've never seen him like that around women before. Or them around him."

Roger grinned, trying hard not to laugh. "Well, Mark's come a long way. The fact that he's drunk is definitely helping his courage though. The fact that they know he's the one holding all the money isn't hurting anything either I suppose." He said as they walked over. 

  
"I'm sure that's it." Izzy laughed. "Hey Marky, you having fun? You wanna share?"   
  
"Hey Iz! Where's Roger?" Mark looked around, spotting Roger. "Hey that's Roger." He told the girls, handing them two twenties. "Be real nice to him, he's my best friend and he's marrying my other best friend." He slurred. 

Roger laughed at that. "Oh thanks buddy. How you feeling?"   
  
"Great! You like your party?"   
  
"Yeah. How you doing Marky?"   
  
"Nooo problem."   
  
Roger laughed. "That's what you think." He turned to Jason and Collins. "You know you two are gonna be in serious trouble when she finds out you let him get this trashed."   
  
"Yeah but it's fun right now." Jason laughed, clearly drunk himself. "And we don't live with either of them."   
  
"Oh thanks so much." Roger laughed taking Mark's beer away from him and ordering him a soda as he looked around. "You know I never really thought about having a bachelor party before, but if I had, I doubt this is what I would have imagined."   
  
"What's the matter honey? Whatcha want?" The red headed dancer asked him. 

  
"Um, you two are fine." Roger smiled at her, sliding a bill into her garter before looking back over at the guys. "I meant you guys."   
  
"What do you mean?" Collins asked. 

Roger laughed. "I mean I never pictured a bachelor party that included Mark like he's been, Benny, and two gay guys in a strip club." He laughed. 

"Hey what about me?" Izzy asked. 

Roger laughed harder at that. "You I could easily picture drunk in a strip club for any bodies bachelor party!"

At that they all started laughing.   
  



	78. 78

A/N This is one of my favorite chapters, because it's just so sappy, lovie-dovie sweet. On different note, where are all my loyal reviews? I haven't heard from anyone lately! You guys still out there?

Chapter 78

When the beeping started Cass pushed the button on Roger's watch and snuggled closer to him. "Hey." He said, kissing her neck and moving down to her shoulder. 

"Hey yourself." She grinned at him. "You have fun with Mark last night?"   
  
"Uh huh." He kept kissing her. "But you and me could have more fun."   
  
Cass laughed at him, pushing him onto his back and leaning on his chest. "You were supposed to be going out and having fun with Mark."   
  
"I did, now I want to have fun with you. Way more fun than I could ever have or would ever want to have with Mark." He grinned running his hand up her side. 

Cass pushed his hand away and grinned at him. "You know what?"   
  
"What?" He leaned up and kissed her on the nose. 

"We're supposed to get married today."   
  
"Yup." He grinned, running a hand up her back and into her hair as he stared into her eyes. 

"You still sure you want to do this? I mean honestly. I'll love you no matter what you say."   
  
He pushed her head closer to him as he leaned up and kissed her. "Completely sure. I just want you Baby." He kissed her again. "What about you? You still wanna do it?"   
  
Cass leaned down onto his chest. "More than anything. All I want is you." She ran her fingers over his shoulder tracing the outline of his tattoo on his bicep. "Just you Baby."   
  
"Good. Me too." He played with her hair. 

  
"They laid there like that for a while before they heard Mark walking around. A minute later he was banging on the bedroom door. "Are you guys up yet? It's after ten."   
  
"Promise me the human alarm clock is not coming with us tomorrow." He whispered in her ear, tickling her with his goatee he still had from when he went on tour.

Cass giggled. "Shhh, behave!" She whispered back. "We're up Mark, don't worry." She called out to him, standing up. 

Roger reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back down on the bed. "Don't go yet. Come lay down for awhile longer." He gave her his best puppy dog eyes. "Please. I am the guy your gonna marry."   
  
"Not if you don't get up, you'll miss it." She kissed him. "Besides Mo is due here any minute."   
  
Roger sat up in bed behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her ear. "She'll be late don't worry."   
  
Cass turned around in his arms, kissing him back. "You think huh?"   
  
"Uh huh." He leaned her back onto the bed, running his lips up her throat to her mouth.

"You guys, Maureen's here!" Mark yelled, banging on the wall.

Roger rolled off of Cass onto his back. "Ahhh! She has never been on time for anything in her life until now!"   
  
Cass laughed at him as she rolled onto her side to face him. "Come on, get up." She smiled running a finger up his chest. "Get up and get dressed. Because tonight it's just you and me Baby." Cass laid a hand on his cheek. "Tonight and then tomorrow we go away for seven days. Just you and me. No Mark. No Mo. No anybody but you and me. And you got me forever Baby." She kissed him lightly. "Forever."   
  
"That's all I want." He smiled as he watched her get up and walk into the bathroom. Cass finished getting dressed and brought him his pills from the bathroom. 

"Come on, get up. Mo probably brought bagels." She grinned. "Besides, the kid's hungry." She joked, patting her stomach. 

"The kid huh?" He stood up wrapping his arms around her waist, laying his hands on her belly. 

"When's he gonna start moving around or something? Something we can feel?"   
  
"I don't know, soon I think." She turned her head back toward him and kissed him. "Come on, let's go."   
  
  
  
***********  


"Anybody want any more pizza?" Collins asked picking up the box.  
  
"No I'm good." Jason called back. 

"Me too. Oh, oh move!" Mark yelled at the video game. 

"Yes!" Jason jumped up. "You are out of here!" He punched Mark in the shoulder. "Victorious again! Go ahead, go ahead and say it, Jason is a god and you are a loser!"   
  
"Okay fine, I'll say it, you are a loser." Mark laughed. 

"Oh you are gonna get it Cohen!" Jason lunged at him, pinning him down on the couch with one arm behind his back. 

"Ow Jason, get off me!" Mark yelled as Collins and Roger laughed. 

"Not till you say it!" Jason laughed. 

"Ow, okay, you're a loser!"   
  
"That's it!" Jason pushed on Mark's arm while tickling him. 

"Okay, get off." Roger told him walking over to answer the door. "Your gonna break him and then we'll all be in trouble."   
  
"Alright, alright." Jason said letting Mark go as he laughed. 

"Why do I feel like Roger's help was more to save his own ass than to help his best friend?" Mark asked sitting up. 

"Because it was." Roger laughed, letting Molly in.

"Hey!" She smiled, dropping her bag and taking off her coat. "It's really snowing out there."   
  
"Where's Mom?" Mark asked from the couch. 

"At home. I took the train and then a cab. She's only really worried about my safety when Cindy's there to start trouble. That and you know Mommy doesn't like to drive in the snow."   
  
"She let you take the train? By your self? She didn't make Dad drive you?"

"She tried. Daddy said there was no way in hell he was driving all the way down to, and I quote, that dump, unquote in this weather." She laughed. "So he gave me forty bucks on top of the fifty Mommy already gave me!"   
  
"So in other words, you're making a profit." Collins laughed. 

"A profit?" Jason laughed. "You sure you're related to Mark? He doesn't believe in the 'P' word."   
  
"Hey!"   
  
"Relax Marky!" Roger laughed, pinching his check. "We still love you."   
  
"Whatever."   
  
"Come on, we gotta leave soon. Are you two ready?" Collins asked. 

"Yeah. I'm ready." Roger said. 

"Did you try on that stuff yet, like Cass said?" Mark asked. 

"Yeah, I did. It fits. I said I was ready."   
  
"What stuff?" Jason asked. 

Mark laughed. "Cass bought him clothes to take with them tomorrow. She said he needed clothes for summer type weather. When he said he had some she told him he didn't have any she'd let him take to the Bahamas."   
  
Jason, Collins and Molly all started laughing with Mark. "Ha ha." Roger rolled his eyes at them. "Come on we gotta go, before Maureen calls and yells at us."   
  
Collins called a cab and the five of them rode to the hotel. Mark got them checked in, giving Collins and Jason and Molly each a key and keeping one for himself. 

"What about me?" Roger asked. 

"The girls are already in your room."   
  
"Oh." 

"Okay, Molly headed up to see the girls. We're going to get dressed. We'll see you guys in a little bit."   
  
"Yeah, um thanks Collins." Mark said, unlocking his door. He and Roger walked into the room. Mark flopped onto the bed as Roger sat in the chair. "You okay? You been awfully quiet."   
  
Roger got a slight grin on his face. "Yeah, I'm okay. I guess I just been thinking."   
  
Mark shook his head. "But you're okay with this whole thing?"   
  
"Uh huh. I'm really gonna marry her." Her grinned. 

"You two deserve each other."

Roger smiled at that. "I kinda wish I had told my mom to come though. I feel kinda bad now."   
  
"Don't worry about it. She'll understand."   
  
"I hope so. That's one of the things I was thinking about." 

Mark laughed. "Good. Now think and shave, or we're going to be late. I gotta go check on some stuff." Mark stood up to leave. 

"Okay, I'll start getting ready." He kept sitting in the chair as Mark walked out. 

*********

  
  
"You're gonna mess up your makeup."   
  
"But I'm hungry Mo." Cass protested. 

  
"Will you let the poor girl eat Mo. And sit still till I finish you hair." Jen told her as they heard a knock at the door. 

"Who is it?" Joanne asked. 

"It's Mark. Let me in."   
  
"I can't, everybody is only half dressed."   
  
"Um, Joanne, I've seen you all half naked before. Actually some of you completely naked before."   
  
Joanne, who was already dressed, opened the door and slid out. "Oh that's so amusing Mark!"   
  
"Sorry, I get my licks in where I can. Is everything all set?"   
  
Joanne shut the door tightly behind her. "Yes if no one kills Maureen. I swear, that girl has managed to lose her keys everyday I've known her, but with this, she's like this organized, crazed machine." She shook her head as Mark laughed. "I was just going to check on everything. Why don't you go get dressed."   
  
"Yeah, I just got to check on one thing first." Mark headed to the elevator and got on as Joanne walked back into the room.

"Well Pookie, how do I look?"   
  
"Wonderful. Do you want to come with me to check on everything?"   
  
"Probably a good idea. We'll be back in a little bit Cass." Maureen said, helping Joanne collect up their stuff. "Let's dump everything in our room first Pookie. Okay Cass?"   
  
"Um sure." Cass said standing up in her robe. 

"Me too." Jen said. "Just sit here and relax. Let me finish getting ready. Then we'll come back and finish getting you dressed."   
  
"Okay. Don't forget about me." She sat down in the chair. They laughed as all three walked out. Cass sat there for a few minutes flipping the TV channels. Finally she picked up the phone and dialed a room number. 

"Hello?"  
  
"Hey."   
  
"Hey Baby." Roger grinned, knowing he probably looked like an idiot. "You okay? Mo not making you crazy or anything is she?"   
  
"No." She laughed. "She's just trying to make it all perfect is all. How about you? You surviving Mark?"   
  
"Uh huh. He went to go check on something and Collins and Jason are in their room."   
  
"Joanne, Mo and Jen too, so I'm all alone."   
  
"Can I sneak up and see you?"   
  
"No." She laughed. "They'll be back in a few minutes. But I miss you."   
  
"I miss you too. How much longer till I see you?"   
  
"Less than an hour. Then I'm all yours."   
  
"You know I'm not good at waiting."   
  
"Sorry Baby. Soon I promise. I have to go, somebody's at the door."   
  
"Okay. Love you Baby."   
  
"Me too. I'll see you soon." She hung up the phone and walked to the door, opening it. "Joanie! Oh God I'm so glad you're here!"   
  
Joanie walked in, followed by Shelly. "Cass you look gorgeous!" She hugged her. 

"You really do." Shelly told her hugging her as well. 

"I look hugely pregnant!"   
  
"No, you don't. At least you won't out of that robe in you dress." Shelly told her looking at the dress hanging on the closet door. 

"Thanks. I'm so glad you came."   
  
"Are you really sure about this? He's not going to get upset?" Joanie asked. 

"No." Cass took her hands, sitting them on the bed. "He wants you here, he just feels funny. Especially after everything that happened at Pat and Shelly's wedding."   
  
"I told him not to worry about that. You either. Okay?" Shelly told her. 

Cass nodded, hugging both of them. "Thank you guys so much. It really means a lot to him."   
  
"Me too." Joanie smiled.

"Um, just one thing. What about, um…"   
  
"Jack doesn't know a thing. We didn't even tell Mickey. He's out of town anyway, but I didn't want him to slip. He wouldn't have meant to, but he and Jack have this strange relationship."   
  
"Thank you."   
  
"Look we should go before Pat and Larry get bored an start wandering around." Shelly said. "And then you can finished getting dressed."   
  
"Okay. I'll see you in a little bit." Cass smiled as she hugged them goodbye.

**********

Mark slapped Roger's hand away from his collar as the elevator doors opened. "Will you stop playing with that you're gonna mess it up." Mark started to fix his tie and vest. 

Roger smacked Mark's hands off him. "Okay, okay stop." 

"I'm just trying to help."   
  
"Well you're making me crazy."   
  
"Well excuse me for trying to be helpful."   
  
At that Jason started laughing out loud as Collins tried hard to keep it together. 

"What's so funny?" Roger asked. 

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Collins said, losing it and cracking up. 

That made Jason laugh even harder. "Remind me again." Jason asked Roger. "You're marrying Cass or Mark?"   
  
Roger rolled his eyes at them. "Oh shut up." He told him, realizing once again what he and Mark sounded like.

"Everybody shut up and behave like adults." Mark instructed. "We screw this up and Mo will kill me."   
  
"Relax, everything will be fine." Collins told him. "That must be Joanne's uncle she's talking to." Collins and Jason walked over to them, leaving Mark and Roger alone. 

Roger looked around. Krystal was fussing over the tie Roger couldn't believe Izzy was wearing. Ginny and Leslie were talking to the guy at the mini bar. Jen had walked in and over to Jason, who was hugging her. He looked at Mark who kept playing with his tux jacket and vest. "Why do you look so nervous if I'm the one getting married?" Roger teased him. 

"I don't know." Mark shrugged. "Fear of Maureen?" He gave a meek smile as he glanced at the door behind them. "Possible fear of you."   
  
"What?" Roger asked as Mark pointed behind them. He turned around. "Mom! What? How?" He stood there in shock as Joanie hugged him. 

"Cass and Mark called us. Is that okay?"   
  
Finally Roger remember to move his arms and hug her back. "Yeah. Yeah it is." He said in a low voice. "I'm glad you're here. Really."   
  
"Good. Me too." She leaned in and whispered in his ear. "It's just us and Pat and Shelly. We didn't tell Mickey. No one else knows."   
  
"Thanks Mom."   
  
Joanie held him at arms length. "You look incredible. Both of you." She leaned over and hugged Mark. 

"You really do." Shelly hugged him. "I told you, I'm way over all that other stuff. Pat too." She whispered as she let go of him. 

Patrick and Larry came in behind them. "You doing okay Bro?"   
  
"Yeah. I'm cool." Roger grinned. 

Larry grabbed his hand and started shaking it. "Well congratulations Roger. And thanks for letting us come. It means a lot to your mom. Really."   
  
"Thanks Larry." 

"Well we should sit down." Larry told Joanie, leading them all to seats.   
  
Collins walked over to them. "Mo just called. She's ready to start."   
  
"Well as long as Mo's ready." Mark said sarcastically causing Jason and Joanne to laugh.

"You know what I mean." Collins said to Mark before turning to Roger. "Good luck buddy. You're doing great." He told him before going to sit down with Jason and everyone. 

"Gentlemen. So are we ready to get married?" Joanne's uncle the judge asked. 

At first Mark thought he meant the two of them when he realized what he meant. "Um, yeah, I think they're ready."   
  
"Mark you got the rings right?" Roger asked, suddenly nervous. 

For a moment Mark completely blanked. It felt like an eternity and he was sure his face showed it. All of a sudden he remembered and reached into his jacket. Letting out a hug sigh. "Yeah, they're right here."

"Good. You made me nervous for a second."   
  
"No problem." Mark smiled. 

  
"Liar." Roger grinned looking down. 

"Whoa."   
  
Roger's head shot up when he heard Mark, expecting to see Cass at he open door. Instead it was Maureen. She looked good in the tight red dress Cass bought her. Mark obviously thought so. Roger remembered that look on Mark's face. He still had it for Mo, even after all these years. 

Roger was about to laugh at Mark when the music started. He looked up and saw Cass. The earth could have stopped in that moment. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Jen had pulled her hair up and back loosely with flowers across the top and veiling flowing out from under her hair. Her dress was strapless and showed off her shoulders. Even from there Roger recognized the pearl choker necklace he knew was her mom's that matched the beads that ran across the top two inches of her dress. 

When she stepped into the doorway she looked up at Roger. When he met her eyes, you would have thought they were the only two people on the planet. "Whoa is right." Roger mumbled as Cass walked up. 

Mark heard him and leaned in, whispering in his ear. "You so owe me big time."   
  
Roger never even heard him as Cass stepped up next to him and he took her hand. 


	79. 79

Chapter 79

Roger stood there, staring at Cass. He could barely hear Joanne's uncle speaking over the pounding of his own heartbeat in his ears. What he could hear he wasn't sure if he even understood. Cass was smiling at him and holding his hand. 

  
Joanne's uncle was talking to Cass. Roger tried paying attention to him, but he kept focusing on Cass. 

"Do you Cassiopeia Isabella DuBartas Sullivan take Roger to be your lawfully wedded husband?"   
  
Roger could feel everyone staring at them.

"To have and to hold?"   
  
The butterflies were flapping double time in his stomach.

"For richer and poorer?"  
  
Roger knew why he was getting so nervous. He knew what was coming next. 

"Through good times and bad?"   
  
He knew it was that next statement that made him question today. The only thing that made him question marrying Cass.

"Through sickness and health?"   
  
He looked at Cass. Was she sure about that? Is that what she really wanted? To be saddled with him? Sick and dying? They had so many talks about that. She kept telling him she didn't care about all that. That all she wanted was him. But standing there now, he couldn't help but think about it. About all their conversations and arguments and his fears. He loved her so much. He hated the thought of ever hurting her. He hated that he made her get tested. He hated the compromise they had come to, where she goes every three months instead of every month like he wanted or every six like she originally agreed.

Here he was, marrying her. He loved her more than anything he could imagine. But he was going to marry her, get sick on her, and then die on her. And leave her alone. He didn't want to give her up, but that was so much to ask. Finally somebody other than him was asking her that question.

"Till death do you part?"   
  
Cass had been looking at him the whole time, but now, it was like her eyes were boring into him. She knew what he was thinking. What his greatest fears were. She heard the judge ask the last part of the question. Cass had her hand in Roger's, her smile deepened as her eyes looked into his soul. 

  
"I do." She said, squeezing his hand. 

He felt himself let out a huge sigh. The rest of the ceremony blurred by. He said the right things at the right time. He managed to get the ring on her finger without dropping it. The whole time staring at Cass. He heard the judge say to kiss her and he did. 

That was it. It was all over. They were married. He and Cass were married. Cass married him. He couldn't stop all that going through his head as he held her while they danced. "Did I tell you how amazing you look?"  
  
"Once or twice."   
  
"Well you do." He grinned, kissing her again.

"I still can't believe we got married."   
  
"You, me and everyone else." He laughed. 

Cass held him tight. "I love you Roger."   
  
"Me too Baby."   
  
"Your not mad? About your mom?"  
  
"No. I'm glad you guys called her. I couldn't do it."  
  
"We kinda thought that. I'm glad you're happy."   
  
"As long as I got you Baby." He kissed her again as they kept dancing. 

Mark watched them as he danced. "You did a really good job pulling this whole thing together Mo."   
  
"Thanks. I didn't even have to kill any of you guys." She laughed. 

"No, but I think you came close a few times."   
  
"Maybe." Maureen grinned, looking around. "Molly's definitely your sister. She hasn't put that camera down since this afternoon."   
  
Mark sort of laughed at that. "Yeah, I guess." He twirled her around.

"Your toast was really good Mark."   
  
"Thanks."   
  
"They're lucky to have you Mark. Real lucky."   
  
Mark just smiled at her thinking about that. Maybe. They were lucky to have each other. And he was lucky to have them. "You look really good Mo. Really. I mean it."

"Thanks." Maureen blushed. 

"You're welcome. I kinda like it when we're not fighting. Kinda like the old days. At least the days of the old days when we weren't fighting."

"I think I know what you mean." She leaned against him. "You know I've pictured this before. You and me dancing at a wedding like this. Granted it was never Roger's wedding I pictured." She laughed. 

"Yeah, me neither." Mark grinned. "So if it wasn't Roger's wedding, who's wedding did you see us dancing at?"   
  
"Well, um…"she stuttered. "I guess ours." She looked down as she danced. 

"Oh." Mark said looking over the top of her head. "Mo you ever think about us?"  
  
"Sometimes. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes I miss us. What about you?"

"Yeah. Sometimes." They danced for another minute or two before he spoke again. "You know if you'd stuck around, and not cheated on me, I probably would have married you. Eventually."   
  
Maureen just leaned against him as they danced. "I think I knew that. I'm sorry Mark." She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "I should go check on the cake. See if they're ready to cut it. It's chocolate you know."   
  
"Yeah, I know." He told her letting her go and watched her walk away. He walked over to a table and sat down. Collins come over and sat with him. 

"How you doing buddy?" 

"Fine. Why?"   
  
"I don't know." Collins shrugged. "Your best friend for your entire life who's always been there for you, and you've basically taken care of for years just married a girl you were sort of in love with. And all three of you live together and now your gonna have a kid. Well sort of."   
  
Mark laughed. "Yeah, like I said, I'm fine. I mean it's not like any of this is life altering or anything."   
  
"No nothing like that at all." He laughed. "Come on they're going to cut the cake."   
  
They walked over to the cake and watched them cut it. Mark looked around. Roger and Cass were happy. Collins and Jason were happy. Izzy and Krystal were even happy. And Maureen and Joanne were, well not as happy as they had seemed in the past, more preoccupied. He was going to ask her about it later though. 

"Hey Marky! I brought you some cake."   
  
"Thanks Molly. You having fun?"   
  
"Uh huh. I got some great shots!"   
  
"Great. Just don't get too drunk hanging out with Ginny and Leslie."   
  
"Oh Marky!" She laughed getting up and walking away. 

Mark just laughed at her. Patrick sat down with him. "Man I still can't believe it."   
  
"What that he got married or that fact that he's having a kid?" Mark asked. 

"The kid part doesn't surprise me in the least. I'm surprised that didn't happen sooner." Patrick laughed. 

"Patrick!" Shelly scolded him. "Behave!" She sat down next to him. 

"No." He laughed. "I mean I can't believe he got married."   
  
"Yeah." Shelly agreed. "Look at your mom. I haven't seen her that happy ever."  
  
Mark looked over at Joanie and Roger and Cass. She kept hugging the two of them. Shelly was right, Joanie was about to explode she was so happy. Mark was glad for her. For all of them. 

They sat around talking and dancing for a little while longer. Finally the hotel people started cleaning everything up.

"I guess we're getting kicked out. Anybody want to go to the bar?" Jason asked, one arm around Collins and the other around Jen.

"Sure! We're up for it!" Ginny answered for both herself and Leslie. 

"We'll go too." Maureen answered, nodding at Joanne who nodded back. "Marky?"   
  
"Yeah sure. Can we get Molly in?"   
  
"We'll get her in." Jason told him. "Pat you guys coming?"   
  
"No, we're going home tonight. If I can ever pry my mom off Roger and Cass." He laughed. 

  
"What about you Iz?"   
  
"No. We gotta take off. I gotta run by the bar. You're working for him Tuesday and Thursday right Jason?"   
  
"Yeah, no problem." Jason answered. 

They all said their good byes to Izzy and Krystal and Roger's family. They were still sitting there talking when Cass came over to the table. 

Cass sat down on Mark's lap. "Hey Marky! You have a good time sweetie?" She hugged him.

"Great time." He kissed her cheek. "You look great you know."   
  
"Somebody mentioned that earlier." She grinned at him. "Personally I think I look huge."   
  
"Nope. Awesome." He kissed her again. 

"I love you Marky." She leaned over and whispered in his ear.

"I know. Me too." He whispered back as Roger came over. His tie was undone and hanging around his neck, his jacket long discarded. Mark could tell he was buzzed. It amazed him how Roger could do shots and drink vodka all night, but champagne got him buzzed.

"Hey we're going down to the bar. You guys coming?" Jason asked Roger. 

"You're kidding right?" Roger gave him a drunken grin.

"No." Cass answered, standing up. "I have got to get out of this dress. I can't breath anymore."   
  
Roger grabbed her from behind, pulling her close and grinned. "Yeah, she wants out of the dress."

"Let me guess." Collins laughed. "And you're just the man to help her with that."   
  
"Yup!" Roger laughed, scooping up a giggling Cass. "We'll see you guys tomorrow."   
  
"Right." Collins kept laughing with everyone else. "Have fun." He called to them as they walked out. "Well, that's that I guess." He laughed.

"Mark!" Roger called from the hallway. 

"Or not." Ginny laughed. "Jeez Mark, even on their wedding night? I always knew the three of you had a weird relationship."   
  
"Forget it. I already know what it is, he's locked out." He stood up laughing. "Mo you got the key to their room?"  
  
"No. It must be in the room. Just call the desk."   
  
"Yeah okay." He walked out to the hall. "Your pathetic Davis!"   
  
Roger stopped biting at Cass' neck to look up and laugh. "Um, my stuff's in your room and we need a key to ours."

"No kidding." Mark shook his head. "Let's go!"   
  
  
  
***************  


Mark could hear Cass quietly giggling as he rounded the corner. Roger was sitting on the floor, Cass on his lap facing him. The skirt on her dress flowed over their legs and onto the floor. Cass was drinking out of the champagne bottle and Roger was running kisses down her neck onto her bare shoulders. Roger was whispering something Mark couldn't hear and Cass was giggling again. 

"Oh for God sake get a room!" Mark teased. 

"We will as soon as you unlock our door." Cass grinned, holding up her hands for him to help her up. 

  
"Okay, okay. Here's your key. And your stuff. You need anything else or can I go now?"   
  
"Yes, go. Please go." Roger teased back wrapping his arms around Cass' waist.

"Yeah, yeah, I get the hint." Mark grinned. 

"Night Marky. We'll see you tomorrow at eleven for breakfast."   
  
"Yeah night Marky." Roger said picking Cass up again. "Hey Mark!"   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Thanks. Really."   
  
"Your welcome. I'll see you tomorrow." Mark waved as he turned and walked back down the hall.

Roger grinned at her and whispered. "I thought he'd never leave." He opened the door, kicked his bag threw and carried Cass in, setting her on the bed. He sat down next to her and she wrapped her arms around his neck. 

"God I love you." She told him, her lips finding his mouth. 

"I love you too. You look incredible. You even taste incredible." His hand went up her back, resting against her neck. 

"So you want to help me out of this dress?"   
  
"You better believe it, but I've got no idea how to get you out of it." He grinned at her. 

"Well first we need to get this thing out of my hair." She told him as she reached up and gently tugged at the veil. She helped him and it came out. She shook her head back and forth, making her hair fall to her shoulders. 

His hands traveled to her head, playing with her hair. "Now what?"   
  
"Now you need to unbutton it. In the back."  
  
He undid a few of the buttons. "Like this?" He grinned. 

  
"Exactly." She stood up, letting the dress slide to the floor. 

"Your amazing. Absolutely amazing." He stood up and pulled her close. "I've been waiting all night to do this."

"Me too." She kissed him. "Me too."   
  
  
  
*****************

Cass felt the sunlight pouring into the room without opening her eyes. Then she realized why she woke up, hearing the phone ring again. "Roger the phone's ringing."   
  
"Uh huh."   
  
"Get it, it's on your side." She heard him groan as he reached for the phone. She heard him pick it up then hand it to her. Cass had a feeling he wasn't awake. "Hello?" She listened for a second. "Thank you." She crawled over Roger and hung up the phone. 

"Who was that?" He asked, half asleep. 

"Our wake up call. Come on, we need to get up." 

  
"Why? It's too early."   
  
"No it's not. We need to get up, pack all our stuff up, have breakfast and get to the airport."   
  
"Oh yeah," he grinned, rolling onto his elbow, "airport. You know what that means?"   
  
"What?" She asked with a big grin on her face as she sat up, pulling the sheets up over them. "It means we actually got married yesterday."   
  
"We did, didn't we?"   
  
"Yeah, we actually did." He leaned up and kissed her. "That makes you Cassiopeia Isabella DuBartas Sullivan Davis."   
  
"And that make you all mine." She grinned. "But I'm dropping all that other crap. I'll keep Isabella, but DuBartas and Sullivan are history."   
  
"Cassiopeia Isabella Davis. I kinda like that. But if you change your name isn't your dad going to notice? Like when you tell him to make your paycheck out to Cass Davis?"   
  
"I'll tell him. Eventually." She got up, putting on a robe and throwing Roger his boxers. "Come on get up." 

She got him moving and into the shower while she hung her dress up in the bag. When he came out she opened up the suitcase they were taking with them. "Find something to wear out of there. And when your done, make sure you put your toothbrush and your pills in the carry on."   
  
"Yes dear." He teased her, getting dressed. 

By the time Cass was out of the shower and dressed, Mark had called and was on his way up. 

"Hey sweetie." She called to him, brushing her hair back into a ponytail. 

"You guys ready? Everybody is heading down to breakfast."   
  
"Yeah we're ready." Roger told him. Mark helped him take the bags downstairs and they met everyone for breakfast. By the time the check came it was getting late. 

"You guys better get going. Who knows how long it'll take you to get to the airport." 

  
Roger looked at his watch. "Yeah he's right. You know what your taking home Mark?"   
  
"Um, I think."   
  
"Here's the bag of stuff. My tux is in there, don't forget to take them back."   
  
"And my dress. Don't forget that." Cass pulled on her jacket.

"Okay, I got it." Mark told him, grabbing the suitcase with all their Bahama clothes in it. Cass and Roger said goodbye to everyone. Roger picked up the carry on and told the doorman they needed a cab to the airport. "You guys got everything your gonna need? Suntan lotion, sunglasses, stuff like that?" Mark asked him when he came back. 

"Yes Marky." Roger grinned. 

"You got your pills? And vitamins? And her vitamins?"   
  
"Yes Marky."   
  
"And she packed the camera. I'll get the pictures from last night developed."   
  
"Thanks Mark. I mean it, for everything."   
  
"Yeah, I know. Just be careful. And take care of her."  
  
"You got it. And you too, be careful, I mean."  
  
"Always." Mark grinned, looking over his glasses. 

Roger looked over at Cass and everyone. Jen was hugging her and everyone else was laughing. "No I mean it. Whatever is going on with Maureen, just be careful. Okay? Please?"

Mark looked down at the suitcase for a second before looking up at him. "I don't know what's going on with Mo. But yeah, I'll be careful."   
  
"Good." Roger told him as the doorman told him the cab was there. "Cass we gotta go. The cab's here." He called to her before turning back to Mark. "I love ya Mark, you know that right?" 

"Yeah I know. I love you too. Now you guys need to get going or your going to miss your plane."   
  
"I know." He picked up the carry on. "Cass we gotta go."   
  
"Okay. I'm ready." She hugged Mark, kissing him on the cheek. "Bye Marky, be careful. We'll miss you." She kissed him again. "We'll see you in a week." She waved at them all as Roger lead her out the door to the cab.


	80. 80

Chapter 80

Jen flipped through the pictures. "God I look fat in that dress. Jason how could you let me wear that!" It was more of an accusation then a question.  
  
"How is that my fault?" He laughed. "Jen you looked fine. Actually you looked great. Tell her Collins."  
  
"You were hot as hell that night Jen." Collins told her from behind his paper.

"Yeah Jen, if you don't believe your own gay brother and his boyfriend that you looked good in that dress, then no one will be able to convince you." Mark laughed. 

"Oh shut up!" Jen laughed with Collins and Jason while throwing a pillow at him. 

Mark ducked at the flying pillow. "No really Jen, you looked really good in that dress."   
  
"Okay, you I'll believe. When are they going to be home?"   
  
Mark checked his watch. "It should be anytime now. Their plane landed almost an hour ago."   
  
"So you survived living alone for a week?" Jason teased. 

Mark gave him a look. "You know I have lived here by myself before."   
  
"Yup, the whole time Roger ran off to Santa Fe." Collins said from behind the newspaper. "And you did very well that time. Except for the not eating, not sleeping, and about worrying yourself and everyone else to death."   
  
Jen and Jason tried to stifle a laugh as Mark picked up a section of the newspaper. "It was no where near that bad Collins."   
  
"Uh huh. Right. Sorry. Must be my memory. But this time you did very well Mark."   
  
"Of course he did. You two were here every day helping him. I ended up cooking you all dinner, and Mo was, well Mo was here too." Jen said. 

  
"Oh yeah." Jason laughed. "The three of us worked our asses off all week. What exactly did Mo do when she was here? Anything productive?" 

"Leave her alone." Collins told them flipping the newspaper page. "She's a drama queen without a stage. Every now and then she needs to let it all out."   
  
"Yeah so she doesn't explode." Jason laughed.

Just then they heard the door rattle, followed by Roger banging on it and calling for Mark who hopped up and ran to the door.

"Your back!" he said opening the door. 

"Isn't he cute?" Jason whispered to Collins. "Kinda like a puppy, all excited and shocked at the fact you actually came home at the end of the day."   
  
Collins shushed him and swatted him with the paper while laughing. 

"Yeah we're back!" Cass babbled, walking in behind Roger and hugging Mark. 

"How was it? Was it just incredible? What did you do? Did you go anywhere neat? What did you see? Did you bring us anything?"   
  
"Jen! Sit! Heel!" Jason yelled, laughing at the same time. "Just be grateful Maureen's not here from work yet."   
  
Roger rolled his eyes. "Yeah I know." He walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge. 

  
"Wait. Don't eat. I'm starving. We were waiting for you guys." Jen yelled to him. 

"Okay, good." Cass took off her jacket. "I'm hungry. We'll tell you all about it over dinner. Let me get a sweater first, I'm freezing."   
  
"Wow Cass, you got huge while you were gone." Jason said. 

Jen smacked him on the head. "Oh very tactful. It's only because you haven't seen her in a week."   
  
"No." Cass sighed. "It feels like it got bigger." Suddenly Cass looked around. "Oh my God! It's all painted. Marky you painted the whole living room!"   
  
"Actually," Mark grinned, "we painted the whole place!"  
  
"Wow you did!" Roger looked around. "The whole place?"   
  
"Yup. And we got a surprise for you." Mark looked from Jen to the guys. "Collins and I got most of it painted, but wait till you see what Jason did."   
  
Mark led her to the nursery, followed by Roger and everyone else. He flipped on the light and Cass gasp. "Oh my god it's incredible! I can't believe you guys did that!"   
  
"Wow." Roger looked around the room. "That's so good Jason." He grinned, arms wrapped around Cass. 

Mark and Collins had painted the walls a light purple color. Jason had gone back and painted a huge Winnie the Pooh mural across the one whole wall. He had other Winnie the Pooh characters on the other walls. On the ceiling he painted a sleeping moon with lots of stars and clouds all around. Coming from the ceiling and in every corner and on the trim around the floor we've little squiggle designs and patterns. 

"Jason this is amazing! I love it!" She hugged him. "Thank you so much!"   
  
"You guys did a great job." Roger grinned. 

  
"Mo and I got the books with all the pictures in it." Jen explained

"Mo helped?" Roger asked smirking and raising an eyebrow. 

"Well, she stayed out of the way, that was a big help." Jason joked. 

  
"Behave." Jen grinned. 

Just then they heard footsteps running up the stairs and the door flew open. "Are they back? Did they see it?" She saw them in the doorway to the nursery. "You're back! Did you have a great time? Did you miss us? Did you bring us anything? Did you see the nursery? Don't you love it? We worked on the whole place all week!"

Jason looked at Collins and mouthed the word "we" to him.

Collins smiled. "Like I said," he whispered, "drama queen, stage, explosion." 

"We just got back Mo. And it's really cool. We're going for food now. Cass will tell you all about it."

"Yes and we love it, you guys did an incredible job!" Cass told her. She heard Jason make a noise and she grinned at him, trying not to laugh out loud.

"I told them you would! We planned it all out before you left! So it would be a big surprise!"   
  
"Well it was. And we love it Mo. You did a great job. You guys, owe!" She grabbed her stomach. "He's doing it again." She told Roger.  
  
Jen's eyes got wide as she hopped up. "Is he kicking? Now?"   
  
"Uh huh." Roger said putting a hand on her stomach. "It started last Monday."   
  
"Ew! Ew! Let me feel!" Maureen jumped in front of Cass, pushing Roger's hand out of the way. 

"Relax Mo." Cass laughed. "He usually does it for a few minutes."   
  
Everyone gathered around Cass, hands on her belly. When the baby settled back down they headed to dinner. They told them about the hotel, the beach and the swim up bar. The twenty-five dollars they won in the casino. Along with the snorkeling, shopping in Nassau, boat rides and when they rented a moped.

"It sounds incredible." Jen said. "Between the snow, freezing rain and slush around here I'd give anything to go someplace warm."   
  
"Me too." Maureen agreed. 

"Well next time we all need to go together." Cass smiled at them.

***********

"What are you doing?" Cass asked, stepping into Mark's room. 

"Nothing. Just reading this stuff." He tossed the papers on the floor. "Come on in. You want to watch a movie?"   
  
"Sure." She climbed onto the bed next to him. 

"Where's Roger?"   
  
"Taking a shower. He was cold." She pulled a blanket over her as Mark got up and dug through his movies. 

"So you guys had a good time huh?"   
  
"We had a great time. We missed you though."   
  
Just then Roger came in wearing a pair of sweats and pulling a long sleeve shirt on over his head. "What's going on?"   
  
"We're gonna watch a movie Baby. Want to join us?"   
  
"Sure." Roger climbed onto the bed, sitting between Cass and the wall. "So Joanne's really gonna stay in Washington?"   
  
"It looks that way." Mark started the movie turning off the light. 

"So what's Mo going to do?"   
  
"I don't know. They've got the apartment till the end of February. Too bad we rented the place downstairs next to Jen."   
  
"Yeah, too bad." Roger said thinking about the whole thing as they started to watch the movie. "You want another pillow Cass?"   
  
"I'll get it." Mark walked to their room grabbing a few more pillows and the comforter off the bed. "Here." He tossed the pillows to them as he spread out the comforter. 

"Thanks Sweetie." Cass told him settling in between the two of them.

By then the opening credit were starting and Mark pulled the blanket up and started to watch the movie. So that they all fit, Cass and Roger were laying on their sides, his arm over her stomach. At a slow point in the movie Mark looked over at them. Cass was sound asleep. "Well she's out."   
  
"Yeah she was tired." He whispered as he brushed a piece of hair off her face. "She really missed you, you know." Roger grinned at him. "My honeymoon and from Tuesday on all I heard was how she missed Mark and do you think Mark's okay? Maybe we should call Mark."   
  
"Gee so much concern for someone who only got a tee shirt that says may best friends went to the Bahamas and all I got was this stupid tee shirt." He joked. 

"Looser! You got more than that! Now shut up and watch the movie."   
  
"But Rog," Mark gave him the puppy dog face. "Did you miss me?"   
  
"Loser." He grinned. "Yeah I missed. You. Till the people we had been talking to asked if Marky was our kid back at home."   
  
"You're kidding?" Mark laughed, then quieted down when Cass stirred. 

"Shut up. Your gonna wake her up." He whispered, putting his arm back around her over belly. She stirred again. "Quick, give me your hand."   
  
Mark grinned. "Roger, after all these years, you wait till your married?" He teased him. 

"Shut up and put your hand right there." He grabbed Mark's hand and held it on Cass' stomach. 

"That is so cool." Mark whispered as Cass woke up. 

"He's doing it again. I don't think he liked the spicy hot wings we had at dinner." She mumbled, rolling over towards Mark and going back to sleep. 

"Probably not." Roger laughed, scratching her back. "So what's going on with you and Mo?"   
  
"I don't know. Nothing."   
  
"What do you want to go on with Mo?"   
  
"I don't know. Nothing." Mark looked at the TV, avoiding Roger. "I mean Mo's just Mo. I've been over her for years Roger."   
  
"If you say so Mark."   
  
"Is that polite for 'liar'?"   
  
"Uh huh." Roger grinned. "Look I just remember how she is. And how you are with her." He whispered. 

"No, you remember how she was. She's different now."   
  
"I don't know about that."   
  
"Come on Rog. She grew up. We all did. She's different. I'm different. Cass is definitely different. You're sure as hell different. We grew up." Mark whispered back. 

Roger looked down at Cass, playing with her hair. "Yeah, I guess that's true. Especially about me." 

  
"Uh huh." Mark said quietly, turning back towards the TV. 

Roger watched the movie for a few minutes. "Mark?"   


"Yeah?"   
  
"When you say she'd different, you mean better different or just different different?"  
  
"You mean Cass?" He thought about it for only a second. "Better different. I mean when I met her she seemed really happy. Good, you know. But I was young and stupid and in love with every move she made. It wasn't until later I realized it wasn't real. You gotta remember, we wrote a lot of letters. You think you and I talked about shit when you came out of rehab? Her being stuck in that place almost six months, we really talked about stuff. So compared to that, she's way different. Way better. And considering the hell she went through before she got here, yeah she's different. She's damn different especially compared to how she was when I met her. But she's happy. For real this time too. Maybe for the first time. At least the first time since I met her. And that's been a long time."   
  
"Good." He ran his fingers through her hair again. "Hey Mark?"   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Thanks. For everything." He looked straight ahead at the TV. "Me. Her. Everything."   
  
Mark didn't look up from the TV. "You're welcome."  
  
They watched the movie for another few minutes. "I hope Mo's different. I really do."   
  
"Thanks." 

***********

"Hi! I'm so sorry I'm late. I got held up at the office."   
  
"It's okay. I knew you'd be here eventually." He said, coughing into his fist.

She sat down at the table, putting her briefcase and bag underneath. "So how are you doing?"   
  
"Good. I was in the studio two weeks ago. That was really cool. I've been writing a lot too." He sniffed as he talked. 

"That's great. You like your agent? He's got you completely covered?"   
  
"Yeah. I'm covered. That guy you know, in their legal department, he's covering all that."   
  
"Good. He knows what he's doing." She sipped her coffee the waitress had brought. "How's the band?"   
  
Roger got a funny smile on his face. "Somewhat disbanded. Our drummer got a job in Florida and the other guitar player got a parole violation for buying liquor for a minor."   
  
"Ouch. So you looking for a new band or what?"   
  
"Surprisingly, no. Like I said, I've been writing a lot. Izzy's just plain too busy to deal with a new band. I'm still bartending, but mainly writing and hanging out with Cass." He coughed again. "Oh and get this. Ginny got a job. At St. Vincent's. In the maternity ward."   
  
"Isn't that where Cass is supposed to deliver?"   
  
"Uh huh." He grinned. "Ginny's a royal pain in the ass, but she's smart. Cass is really happy about it. Makes her feel a little better. Makes me feel a lot better. Like I said, she's a pain in the ass, but she doesn't take any crap. And Ginny knows us. Won't call security when me and Mark show up."   
  
Joanne rolled her eyes at that comment. "Don't be so dramatic." She sipped her coffee again. "How is Cass doing?"   
  
"She's great." He grinned. "You missed her birthday."   
  
"I know. Tell her I'm sorry." She reached into her bag. "And give her this for me." She handed him a small box.

"Okay. Thanks. I will. She is doing great though. She's working too much, but she likes it I think. You know, work eighteen hours then not touch it for four days."   
  
"How does she feel?"   
  
"Pretty good. She's getting huge though." He grinned again, wiping his nose on a napkin. "You know how we used to lay on the couch and watch TV? Well, we both don't fit on the couch anymore." He laughed. "And he seems like he's playing one man soccer the way he's running around in there. He keeps her up at night a lot with that. Especially if we eat anything spicy."   
  
"That's got to be hard on her. She liked hot and spicy." She smiled. 

"Yeah, little bit. Plus he's jumping up and down on her bladder she says, so we know where every decent bathroom in New York is."   
  
"Oh that must be fun." She stirred her coffee again. "So you guys had a good time on your honeymoon?"  
  
"It was great. And the loft looks great with everything painted and all. You should see the nursery. Jason did an incredible job." He started coughing again, hard this time.

Joanne handed him a glass of water. "Roger are you okay?"   
  
He finally stopped coughing and took another drink of water. "Yeah. I'm fine. I got a cold. It's going away though. It's only been about two weeks."   
  
"Did you go to the doctor?" She asked skeptically. 

He grinned. "Please, between Cass and Mark? Its so much easier to just give in and go then to be stubborn."   
  
"Sounds like my father." She laughed. "One of those things you learn with marriage I suppose."   
  
"Yeah, I guess." He laughed. "But I'm fine. I went to the doctor. It's just a cold. It's going away."   
  
"Good. I'm glad." They sat there for a minute before she spoke again. "So is Cass mad at me?"   
  
Roger looked down at the table, playing with his menu. "She misses you. She's not sure what to do. I mean she's really good friends with both you guys. She feels kind of caught in the middle."   
  
"I'm sorry. I don't want her to feel that way. I don't want any of you guys to feel that way."   
  
"Why did you want to meet me for lunch Joanne? Don't you usually have these lunches with Mark?" He finally asked the question as the waitress came over and took their order.

When she walked away Joanne looked up at him. Her tough lawyer façade fading away. "I just wanted to know what was going on, you know, with everyone." She shrugged. "I miss you guys."   
  
"Like I said, I'm writing, Cass is great. Mark's been working a lot too. He's got a new project. It looks real promising. A money up front thing."   
  
"How's Jason and Collins and Jen?"   
  
"Jen's seeing some guy. He's okay." He laughed. "He doesn't understand us. He'd get along with you. And he can relate to Cass. Can't understand what she or Jen are doing with us, but he's alright I guess." He shrugged. "Collins and Jason are waiting on spring break. That's all."   
  
"Good. Good. Tell everyone I said hello and I miss them."   
  
"Mo's okay too." He told her. "That's what you really wanted to know right?"   
  
Joanne could feel her face getting hot. "Yes. I guess." She said softly. "I mean, it's over. It's been over for awhile now. But I still miss her. I don't want her back. I mean we both changed and grew. And I needed this. To do this in Washington."   
  
"I can understand that." He shook his head. "From what I've heard, Mo's saying pretty much the same thing. She's okay though."

"Good." She played with her napkin. "Are, are she and Mark…"

Finally Roger completely understood. Joanne and Mark had become close over the years, but Mark was too close to this situation. He was actually part of it. So if you can't get into Mark's head, do the next best thing, get into Roger's. "Well…"

"Look everyone knows Mark still had it bad for her."   
  
"Not so much anymore." He tried to protect. 

Joanne just looked at him. "And for all her big talk, deep down she still loved him in some way."   
  
"Well they're not sleeping together. I mean I'd know if they were." He hoped. "Cass moved all her computer stuff out into the dining and we moved Mo into Cass' office."   
  
"Oh. I mean good. I mean… I don't know what I mean." She shook her head. "I just wanted to make sure she was okay. Maureen's not exactly used to, well…"   
  
"Being dumped? No she's not." He laughed. "Look, I think she knew it was coming. She knew it was over. She's just moving on. I never thought her moving on would mean moving back in, but it's okay. She's okay. She's a lot different than she was before. She misses you." He looked down at the food the waitress brought. 

"I want to stay friends with her, but for years I watched her try and do that with Mark."   
  
"Yeah that wasn't all that pretty in the beginning."   
  
"Pretty? At times she was down right vicious. There were moments I was afraid you were going to punch her in the mouth."   
  
Roger got a slight grin. "There were moments I wanted to punch her in the mouth. Girl or no girl. But luckily I have a lot of personal restraint."   
  
"Ha! Luckily Mimi had a lot of restraint on you!" 

"Yeah I suppose." He smiled thinking back on it. "Look Joanne, I'm not a good one for advice, that's Mark's department. But I say give it some time. Don't just drop everybody. Including Maureen. I think she can handle the friends thing better this time. I mean she's had almost five years of practice."   
  
"I suppose. Thanks Roger."   
  
"Yeah, yeah." He got a small smile. "Eat your lunch."   
  
  
  



	81. 81

A/N Just wanted to say thanks to Amanda for the compliment. I've tried hard to keep the detail throughout without going into extensive detail. I like to make you all kind of realize after you read it that it was sort of important. That is why there are so many little parts to the conversations that don't seem like they are important, but they are usually plot points. And through out this entire story I've tried to be true to how they all should sound based on their life experiences. Especially Cass, along with Collins and Joanne. If you look, you will see Cass very rarely says "yeah" like everyone else. She was raised and educated differently from the rest of them, and being multi-lingual would affect that as well. Collins and Joanne also speak slightly different from the rest of the group as well. Not much, just a little difference in their speech patterns occasionally. Hopefully, it has shown through. 

To em0xstatic(), no you can't have my Roger, I know you'd take good care of him and entertain him (god knows we'd all like to entertain him!) but you can't have him. Sorry. 

As for the quote about "...the people we had been talking to asked if Marky was our kid back at home." I loved that line too. I just always felt that would be how Mark would sound to other people if Roger and Cass were out where no one else knew them. But yes, it is one of my favorite lines. I had thought up that line, and had to work a scene around it to fit it in. There were a few lines like that. You know how it is, you get a really good line in your head and you just _have_ to use it!

Anyway, thanks to all my readers and reviews. I should thank you all more often, but sometimes I just want to get the next chapter out there. But know I truly appreciate you all.

~Kelby  
  
  
  
  


Chapter 81

"We're just watching a movie." Cass said into the phone. "Just me, Mark, Maureen and Jen."   
  
"Come on Cass it's ready." Maureen called to her. 

  
"I have to go. You too before Izzy fires you." She laughed for a moment after listening to him. "Whatever you say Roger. Just don't tell Izzy that. I'll see you when you get home. Bye." She hung up the phone and sat down on the couch. 

"Finally." Mark told her. "Now can we watch the movie?"   
  
"Wasn't he just bitching about this being a chick flick twenty minutes ago?" Jen joked. 

"It's just easier to keep you three happy. Less chance of being attacked by the PMS monster."   
  
"Hey! I so do not have PMS!" Cass told him, kicking her feet onto his lap. 

  
"Oh no, your just hormonally unstable!" Mark laughed until Cass kicked him. "Ow! I'm just kidding, relax."

"Just start the movie." She told him, smiling. 

  
"Okay. Whatever keeps you happy." He teased, starting the movie. 

After watching about the first half of the movie, Cass nudged Mark with her foot. "Pause it for a minute. I need to go to the bathroom."   
  
"Shocking." Mark laughed, picking up the remote. 

Cass came back a few minutes later. "Anybody want anything?" She asked opening the fridge. 

"I'll have a beer." Maureen called back. 

  
"Do we have any pretzels left?" Mark asked as they heard pounding on the front door.   
  
"Uh huh." Cass told him, setting down the bag to answer the door. "Yes?"   
  
"So you're the one he knocked up huh?" The man leered at her from the doorway. "What's the matter sweetness? Aren't you gonna invite your father-in-law in?"   
  
Mark was up and over the back of the couch as soon as the voice registered in his brain. He ran to the door, pushing Cass out of the way and putting himself between her and the doorway. "What do you want?"   
  
"I remember you. Little sissy blonde kid, always running around with him."   
  
"Yeah whatever. What do you want?"   
  
"I wanna see him. Little shit didn't even invite me to his own wedding."   
  
"Well he's not here. He moved out. They moved out."   
  
"Well let me see her. What's her name, Cass?"   
  
"She's not here. I told you."   
  
"Bullshit." He tried to push past Mark, but he stood firm. "She opened the door."  
  
"That's not Cass. That's my girlfriend, Maureen." Mark lied, impressed at how convincing he sounded.   
"So just leave."   
  
"Bullshit! That's her and I wanna see her. It's my grandkid."

"Forget it!"   
  
"Dad." Mickey yelled as he made it to the top of the stairs. "Come on, we need to go."   
  
"No! I want to see that little shit!"   
  
"Jack just leave."   
  
"Yeah Dad, let's got." Mickey pulled at his jacket, trying to get him to move. 

"I told you he's not here. And even if he was, he doesn't want you around. Not him or Cass so just go."   
  
"Why you no good little shit!" Jack pushed at Mark, knocking him backward into the loft and stepping in after him. "Protecting his sorry ass! That little fuck up needs you to protect him? Sissy boy!" He pushed Mark in the chest again. 

"Dad!"  
  
"Get the fuck out Jack!" Mark yelled at him. "Get out and stay out or I'm calling the cops!"   
  
"Oh come on sissy boy. You scared that little fuck up will find out you let me in? He's a no good fuck up. He'll have a no good fuck up kid too. Wait till he sees his kid's a fuck up and treats him like this!"   
  
At that Mark snapped. He'd heard enough. Roger had his problems true, but a lot of those problems stemmed from Jack. And now Jack stood there saying all this crap. 

Without even realizing it his arm was back and his fist was flying forward. As he made contact with Jack's face he felt the adrenaline rush kick in.

Jack started to stumble backwards, grabbing his face. "Why you little fuck!"   
  
"I said get out and stay out! Stay away from Roger and Cass and everybody! You're the fuck up Jack!" Jack moved for Mark and got one quick punch into Mark's face, knocking him sideways and breaking his glasses where the arm and frame connected. Mark regained his balance and rushed at him, swing again, hitting him in the side of the face. This time as he stumbled back Mickey grabbed him. "Nobody wants you around Jack, just stay the fuck away!" Mark yelled at him.

"Come on Dad. We're leaving. Now!" Mickey yelled, grabbing Jack and pushing him towards the stairs. 

"Get your hands off me boy! I can walk!" Jack snapped. "You tell my son the fuck up that's it! I'm done with him! He ain't my kid any more!" He yelled, holding his gushing nose. 

"Yeah he'll be happy to hear that! Trust me!" Mark yelled back. 

Mickey moved him down the steps and turned around after going down a few himself. "Mark I, I'm sorry. Tell him I'm sorry. Really."   
  
Mark just nodded as Mickey headed down the stairs. He closed the door behind him and locked all the locks. 

"Mark are you okay?" Cass asked, barely above a whisper. 

  
He realized she was shaking and he pulled her close. "Yeah I'm okay. How about you?"  
  
She nodded as she leaned back, looking at him. "Oh God Mark, you're bleeding." She held a dishtowel to his forehead. 

  
"Marky that was incredible. I've never seen you do _anything _like that before!" Maureen told him, suddenly by his side, forcing him onto the barstool. 

"Cass sit down, I'll get it." Jen told her, talking the bag of frozen vegetables out of her hand. "Where's the your first aid kit?"  
  
Jen cleaned up Mark's face and cleaned his scraped knuckles. She got another bag of frozen peas for his hand. 

"Well that went well." Mark sighed, playing with his busted glasses. "Roger's gonna be pissed." He shook his head. Just then they heard a soft knock at the door. All three girls looked at Mark. He stood up and cautiously walked to the door. "Who is it?"   
  
"Mickey. Can I come in? Just for a second? Jack's gone. I promise."   
  
Mark opened the door. "Oh shit Mickey!"   
  
His lip was split and his eye was already starting to swell. He walked through the door and sat down. 

"Oh Mickey!" Cass gasp. 

"I'm okay." 

"No you're not." Jen told him, opening the first aid kit back up and handing him Mark's discarded bag of frozen peas. 

"Thanks. Yeah I am. Listen I'm real sorry Cass. Really. And I hate to ask this, but my wallet is in my jacket, in Jack's car. Can I borrow some money for the train, to get home?"   
  
"Yeah, no problem." Mark told him. 

  
"Maybe you should just stay here tonight." Cass said. 

"No way! Roger will kill me! I'd be safer with Jack."   
  
"What happened?" Maureen asked him, putting a band-aid on his forehead, above his eye. 

"We got downstairs and he was pissed." Mickey shrugged. "He took off in the car, with my wallet and my jacket. I tried to call Patrick, to come get me, but he wasn't home. I'm sorry."   
  
"It's okay Mickey. Look, stay here tonight. You can go home tomorrow morning."   
  
"No way, Roger will kill me when he finds out I brought Jack here."

"Well, maybe we shouldn't mention any of this to Roger." Cass said, biting her lip. 

"How are we gonna do that?" Maureen asked, wide eyed. 

"Well… he won't be home till late. And unless I wake him up, he'll sleep till noon tomorrow. Mickey can sleep in Mo's room and as long as you leave tomorrow before he gets up, he'll never know."

"But what about Mark's face? And glasses?"  
  
"He'll just have to wear his contacts until we get them fixed. Roger will never notice."   
  
"That's true, but his cheek is all bruised and his forehead is cut."   
  
"I don't know Mo! Tell him you two were screwing around and fell off the couch or something. He'll believe that."   
  
"Great." Mark didn't sound convinced. 

  
"I don't know Cass." Mickey said hesitantly.   
  
"Trust me. Please. Come on, you want some pizza? We got some left over from earlier." She pulled the box out of the oven. "Okay? Just trust me. This will work."   
  


*********************

Roger felt Cass roll over again. He looked at his watch. 9:45. The alarm was going to go off in fifteen minutes. He might as well get up, at least for awhile. Maybe Cass will sleep better then. He got up quietly and went into the bathroom to take his pills. In the other room he could hear Mark talking to somebody but he couldn't tell who. He walked out into the living room, heading toward the kitchen. "Hey. Who were you talking to?"   
  
"Roger!" Mark jumped. "What are you doing up? You're not supposed to be up yet? Why don't you go back to bed."   
  
Roger just looked at him. "What's wrong with you? I just woke up is all. Who were you talking to? Pour me some juice." He sat down at the counter.

"Um, no one. Really. Are you sure you don't want to go back to bed?" Mark asked, looking at his watch.

"No, Cass has been flipping around all night. She okay? She didn't sleep well at all last night."   
  
"Um, yeah, fine. Nothing happened last night. Nothing at all."   
  
Mark's reaction peaked Roger's curiosity. Now he knew something was up. "Uh huh." He watched him for a second. "What happened to your face?"   
  
"Um… Maureen... and we were just… and just an accident." 

"Uh huh." Roger didn't buy it. Just then the bathroom door opened and Mickey walked out. Roger looked up at him. "Mickey? What are you doing here and what the hell happened to you?"   
  
"Um… um… hi Rog." He gave a weak smile and looked at Mark just as they head quiet knocking at the front door. Mickey and Mark looked at each other again before Mickey started to move. "Um, that's my ride. Gotta go. Thanks. Bye!"   
  
"Uh uh. No way." Roger said, standing up and stepping to the door before Mickey could. He opened the door. "Patrick?" Roger turned from him back to Mickey and Mark. "Okay, what the hell's going on?"   
  
"Um, hey Rog, I just came to get Mickey. And we gotta go. So see you later. Let's go Mick."   
  
"Nobody's going anywhere till I find out what's going on." Roger growled. 

"What's going on?" Maureen asked, yawning and stretching as she walked out of Mark's room. "If you guys aren't quiet you're gonna wake up Roger."   
  
"Too late, I'm awake."   
  
"Uh oh. I mean, wow, I'm gonna be late for work!" She turned towards the bathroom. 

"Freeze Mo. Now what's going on? Mark?"   
  
Mark knew that was it. He was screwed. "Well Mickey was in the city, and he came over and lost his wallet and spent the night and now he's leaving cause Patrick came to pick him up." Mark realized he was babbling. 

"Nice try. If that's all, why is it a big secret? And who beat the crap out of him? And what really happened to your face? And your knuckles?"   
  
"Oh crap." Mickey knew they were busted. "It's all my fault. I'm sorry."   
  
"For what? What's going on?" Roger was getting pissed. 

Finally Mark and Mickey managed to get the whole story out. To everyone's surprise, including Cass' who got up during the re-telling, Roger didn't get upset. "You actually punched him." He asked Mark in disbelief. 

"He not only punched him," Patrick laughed, "he broke his friggin nose. He called me at six this morning after getting out of the emergency room." 

Roger and Mickey broke into laughter at that. "You're kidding?" Mickey roared. 

"Wow Mark. I'm impressed. 

"I'm shocked." Maureen interjected. "I mean I was shocked last night when you hit him, but you broke his nose? Wow. I mean I only ever saw you get into like two fights ever. And in both of those it was somebody else starting with you, and neither of them lasted long." She shrugged. "One Roger just showed up and the other Roger beat the guy up."   
  
"Marky's a lover not a fighter." Cass grinned pouring herself juice. "With a 6'2" body guard." She winked at Roger. 

"Well I guess he can take care of himself now." Roger laughed. 

"Yeah well, I think my fighting days are over." He looked at his knuckles. "I'll just keep you around as my bodyguard."   
  
"Well now that everybody's up and the big secret was so well kept." Cass glanced around the room. "Anybody want to go to breakfast?" She paused for a second. "Or I can cook something."   
  
"I'll get dressed!" Maureen said. 

  
"Me too." Mark hopped up as Roger started laughing.

"What you don't want me to cook?"   
  
"Not at all Babe." Roger laughed, wrapping his arms around her belly and pulling her close. "We just don't want you to have to go to all that trouble."   
  
"Liar! You're still afraid of my cooking! Fine we go to breakfast." She grinned, walking towards their bedroom to get ready. 

Roger followed her a second later. When he was in the room he closed the door behind him. "Hey." He pulled her close again. "Are you okay? I mean was that it, what Mark said? Did anything else happen? He do anything else? Touch you or anything?" He whispered into her hair. 

"No. I'm okay. Like Mark said, he came here looking to start trouble. It didn't work. And Mark was amazing. I'm just glad you weren't home, I don't think it would have gone as well." She hugged him close. 

"I'm sorry Baby. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault."   
  
"Nothing's your fault. Just because he's a total ass, doesn't make it your fault."   
  
"But…"   
  
"Uh uh. I'm fine. Mark's fine. He came, got his nose broke and kicked out on his butt. Don't worry about it. It's over. I love you no matter what your crazy relatives do. So don't let it bother you." She leaned up and kissed him. "Now get dressed. The kid's hungry!"   
  
"Okay." He smiled at her and pulled on a pair of pants. While Cass was still getting ready, Roger walked back out to the other room. Patrick and Mickey were sitting on the couch, Patrick was giving Mickey a hard time about coming into the city with Jack. 

"I know, I know. Leave me alone Pat." Mickey groaned. 

  
"All I'm saying is-"

"Leave him alone." Roger cut him off, walking toward Mark's room. "Mark?"

"Come on in." Mark told him as he pulled on his shoes. 

"Hey."   
  
"Hey." He looked up at Roger, trying to read him. Something that was becoming more and more difficult these days. 

"Um, about last night…" 

"Yeah, I'm sorry Roger. Really."

"No, I mean thanks. You know, for taking care of everything. Of Cass."   
  
"No problem. What else could I do."   
  
"And for sticking up for me. I know he said a bunch of crap."   
  
Mark grinned. "I've been doing that for years."   
  
"No really Mark. I mean it. I know it took a lot for you to actually hit him. I appreciate that. Really."   
  
"You're welcome."   
  
"I still can't believe you hit him." Roger shook his head. 

"Well I guess you're finally wearing off on me."   
  
"Yeah I guess." Roger grinned. 

"Now if only it worked the other way too." Mark smirked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He laughed. 

"Nothing." Mark laughed back. "Nothing at all. Come on let's go, before Cass threatens to cook again." 


	82. 82

A/N Hello! Just wanted to tell everyone that from this point on, time moves a lot faster. Before it was pretty much day to day or week to week. Now we skip ahead more often. You have to pay attention within the chapter and you'll be able to tell when it is in the calendar. For instance, the wedding was in January. Now it's April. So just pay close attention to things like that and hopefully, no one will get confused.

As usual, my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has stuck with me throughout.

Kelby

Chapter 82

"Jen?" Jason called out as he walked into the loft. 

"Hey bro. Haven't seen you in days." Jennifer told him, pulling her clothes out of the dryer. 

"We've been busy." He grinned. "God it's beautiful outside, why is it so cold in here?"   
  
"Cass is hot, the A/C's running." She threw him an old sweatshirt of his she had acquired years ago that had just come out of the dryer.

"It's the last week of April, why is the A/C on?"   
  
"She's eight months pregnant you dork." She laughed. "She's got an internal heater running at full blast."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"Yeah usually it's not this bad. She only turns it up this cold when Roger's not here. It's a fine line between cool enough for her and so cold he gets pneumonia or something."   
  
"Yeah, I see where that could be a problem." He told her as Cass walked out of her room. "Hey Cass. How do you feel?"   
  
"Agh! I wish people would stop asking me that! How do I look like I feel? I'm the size of a bus and it's hot as hell in here!"   
  
"Um, sorry."   
  
"Oh I'm sorry Jason. I didn't mean to yell. I'm just a little on edge."   
  
"It's okay sweetie, I understand. Here this might cheer you up," he handed her the mail he brought up. "Looks like you got a letter."   
  
"Thanks." She took the mail from him. "Roger just called, they were just hitting the tunnel, they should be here soon, they're going to pick Maureen up at work first."   
  
"How's she doing?" Jen asked, closing the dryer. 

  
"She's still nervous about the whole thing. Thinks Mark's mom hates her and stuff." Cass shrugged, going through the mail. 

"Does she hate her?" Jason asked, hopping up on the counter. 

"No. Not really. I mean unless he brings home some nice Jewish girl who's convinced him to give up his bohemian lifestyle and go to med school or something like that, they'll never be completely happy."   
  
"What?" Jen laughed. "His ex-girlfriend, the former performing artist and lesbian doesn't cut it?"   
  
"Not really, no." Cass shook her head, grinning. 

"So what's going on with those two anyway?" Jason asked, opening up a pop tart package. "Are they dating again? Just sleeping together? Not sleeping together, but we don't think that's it."   
  
" 'We' huh?" Jen gave him a look. "So you and Collins have discussed this huh?"   
  
"Well, a little." He shrugged. "So what's going on? Collins can't even figure it out and he's known them forever. Come on Cass, spill it."   
  
"I don't know. You have to ask them."   
  
"Come on Cass. You know. You gotta know, you live with them."   
  
"Honestly, I don't know. I don't even think Roger knows. If he does, he hasn't said anything to me."   
  
"Would he even ask Mark?" Jen asked.

"I'm not sure. He may not want to know. I don't really see him coming out and asking him. So until Mark actually says something, guess we'll have to wait." She told them as she opened up the envelope a check feel out of the letter. Cass silently read it as the two of them continued talking. "That bastard!" Cass yelled, slamming down the letter she had just crumpled up. 

"Honey, what's the matter?" Jen asked, startled at seeing her that upset. 

"He's just such a bastard! I can't believe him!"   
  
"What?" Jason hopped off the counter. 

  
"You know what? I don't care if I ever talk to him again." She flung the letter at the trash before storming off to her room.

"Cass?" Jen called as she picked up the crumpled letter and started to open it up. 

"Don't read that." Jason told her, snatching it away.

"How are we supposed to know what's wrong if we don't read it?" She pulled at the letter, the whole scene between the two of them somewhat reminiscent of when they were little.

"Well…" Jason was torn. He knew better, but he knew she was right too. "Oh alright." 

She pulled it back and opened it up. "Oh he is a bastard."   
  
"What's it say?" Jason leaned over her shoulder. 

  
"Roger's not going to be happy about this."   
  
"So we won't tell him, now read."   
  
"Okay, 'Cassiopeia,' God he doesn't even start out dear Cass or anything."   


"Oh give me that." He grabbed it back and began to read it to himself as Jen looked on too.

_Cassiopeia, _

I can't believe you would do something so foolish as to run off and get married. Did 

you even bother to talk to a lawyer first? To set up some kind of pre nuptial agreement?

How do you know he isn't just after your money? I mean it's quite obvious neither of

Them has any money or any future potential to actually make anything of themselves. 

Secondly, your uncle will be quite upset. The way you did it just looks bad to begin with. 

Running off like that, none of us present. A large church wedding, with everyone in 

attendance would have been much better. Even more so with a more appropriate person. 

Your uncle would have preferred of course you not have married him, since you did, 

he would certainly have preferred it be done correctly. Plus it would have made for a 

very nice photo opportunity in the European papers. Especially with the latest bad publicity

your cousin has gotten with the crowd he had been running around Paris with.

Now if you are just doing this to punish us, fine, point taken. Now can we just resolve 

this quietly? A lager settlement, no mess divorce or better yet an annulment. I would 

take care of all the arrangements for you. You wouldn't have to worry about a thing.

However, knowing how you are, I doubt any of that will occur. I truly regret 

that. I hope whatever you decide you are actually happy for a change. I enclosed a check 

for you. I suppose you could consider it a wedding gift. I would prefer you use it as a 

retainer for a good divorce lawyer, but if not, use it to buy yourself something you want. 

At this point I have no clue what that would be. 

Call me sometime. By the way, which one was Roger? The big one who threatened to 

shove me through the wall or the short one that threatened his "lawyer" on me?" 

Carlton

"What a cold bastard." Jen said, shaking her head. "What do we do now?"   
  
Jason thought for a moment. "Well we don't tell Roger and Mark for starters. She wants them to know, she tells them, I'm not that brave."  
  
"But they are going to be home soon."   
  
"I'll talk to her." He shoved the letter and check into the envelope and walked toward her room. "Cass?" He knocked as he pushed the door open. "Can I come in?"   
  
"Yes. It's okay Jason." She sat up on the bed, wiping the tears off her face. 

"Are you okay?" He sat down next to her on the bed, setting the envelope down. 

"Yes, I suppose. I guess I shouldn't have expected much more from them. I really think I might hate him."   
  
"I can understand that. I mean I can relate sort of, at least on Roger's end."   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"Well just because Collins' family accepts the fact he dates guys now," he grinned, "doesn't mean they're all that thrilled when the guys he brings home are skinny pale white boys." 

Cass smiled at that, wiping another tear off her face. 

"I mean at least Angel was Puerto Rican instead of some mid western German – Irish half breed." He reached up and wiped her cheek off. "Look, whether they love me or hate me, that doesn't change anything between me and Collins. And it won't between you guys."   
  
"I know."   
  
"And I'll be the first to say, your father is just about the world's biggest bastard. He never should have said any of that stuff, but he did. So you might as well get over it. You're way better than him Cass. You deserve better." Jason stood up. "Don't let him get you down. Okay?"   
  
"Yes. Thanks Jason." Cass smiled. 

  
"You're welcome. Now quit crying before Roger comes home and beats me up, thinking it's my fault." He laughed, walking out to the living room. 

"Is she okay?" Jen asked. 

"Yeah, she will be." He sat down, picking up the paper. 

**********************

"All I'm saying is maybe this isn't the best idea!" Maureen almost yelled as the three of them walked threw the loft door. 

"Mo…" Mark began. 

"Enough! Maureen for the last time his mother hates everyone. She doesn't specifically hate you, however I'm going to if you don't shut up about it!" Roger yelled at her, throwing his keys on the counter. 

"Ewww. This'll be a fun weekend." Jason smirked. 

"Ha ha. What are you doing here?"   
  
"You know, the usual. Came to pester Jennifer, she was here. Ended up getting a two for one deal." He grinned.

"Great. Where's Cass? Jesus it's freezing in here."   
  
"In your room. So why exactly are you going to your mom's this weekend?" Jason asked, turning off the air conditioner. 

"Because I've lost my friggin mind." Roger told him, wrapping up the cords to his amp. 

"We're going," Cass told them stepping into the living room, "so you can play with Randy and your high school band. Not to mention the fact that you blew your mom off for Easter."   
  
"I had to work."   
  
"Oh yeah, that mad Easter rush the Iguana has every year." Mark laughed. 

"And you blew off you mom for Passover, her birthday and your dad's birthday." Cass told Mark. 

"Yeah well…" Mark started as Roger and Maureen started laughing. "Okay smarty pants," he told Cass, I don't see you talking to your dad."   
  
"Actually, I sent him a letter a little over a week ago. Told him we got married."   
  
"You did?" Roger's head shot up. "What did he say?"

"He sent me a check and suggested I use it to get a lawyer and an annulment." She glanced at Jason and grinned as Roger just stared at her. "I think we should be a new couch. And a new bed. Maybe one that doesn't sit on the floor. What do you think?" She asked Roger. 

  
"Whatever you want Babe."   
  
"Okay. Next week, new bed. Thank God."   
  
"What's that mean?"   
  
"It means your bed sucks." She teased him. 

"Oh yeah?" He backed her up towards the bedroom door. 

"Yeah!"  
  
Roger grabbed her, picking her up and tickling her before dropping her on the bed. 

"Oh come on." Mark whined. "Don't start screwing around now or we'll never get there. And your mom's cooking pot roast."   
  
"Mark get out." Roger laughed. 

"And mashed potatoes."   
  
"Goodbye Mark." Roger told him, kissing Cass' neck. 

  
"Wait." Cass pushed Roger back some. "Mashed potatoes? With gravy?"   
  
"Uh huh. And cherry cobbler for dessert. And tomorrow she said she would make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast."   
  
"Mark's right, we need to get going." Cass told him. 

Roger rolled over onto his back. "What did you do?" He yelled at Mark. "Call ahead for a complete menu?"   
  
"Come on." She pulled at his arm. "I could really go for mashed potatoes." 

"Alright, alright. Let's go." He laughed at her as he followed her out of the room, grabbing their bag on the way.

******************

"Where have you guys been? Mom wouldn't let us eat till you got here." Mickey told them through a mouthful of peanut butter as he stuck the spoon back into the jar for more. 

"Let's just say it's been awhile since Roger drove a stick shift." Mark said coming through the door and setting down the bags he carried. "Or any car for that matter."   
  
"Shut up. Like you could have done any better."   
  
"I couldn't have done any worse."   
  
"Oh will you two drop it or I'm going to drive home." Cass told them. 

Just then Joanie walked in. "Good you're here. Mickey's driving me crazy." She told them, taking the peanut butter away and giving him a disapproving look before turning back to Roger. She kissed him on the cheek before turning and hugging Cass. "How you doing Sweetie? How do you feel?" 

"Big as a barn. And I think he's got the hiccups again. And if he doesn't stop wedging his foot into my ribs, he's gonna be grounded before he's even born."   
  
Joanie smiled. "It'll get better. And you're not that big. Did you bring the pictures from the Bahamas?"   
  
"Yes we finally remembered them." Cass laughed. 

"Good. Well, come on in. Dinner will be ready in just a few."

Mark came the rest of the way into the room. "Um, this is Maureen. She's sort of living with us now."   
  
"That's funny. Didn't you have girlfriend named Maureen that lived with you guys when you first lived there?" She asked, finishing up dinner. 

"Um, yeah, same one." Mark blushed as Roger laughed. 

"Well come on, let's eat. Mickey get Larry and Patrick."   
  
Shelly came in from upstairs, said hello and started helping finish dinner as Cass and Maureen sat down. 

"Finally. I'm starving. What did you guys do, walk here?" Patrick asked as he walked in.

"No." Mickey laughed. "Roger drove."   
  
Patrick raised an eyebrow. "You bought a car?" He asked, handing Roger and Mark each a beer. 

"No, it's my friend Izzy's. He keeps it at his sister's in Jersey. That's what took so long. We had to go with Izzy all the way there to pick it up."   
  
"Patrick grab me a beer." Larry said, walking into the dinning room. "Hey slugger!" He said to Mark as he sat down next to him.  
  
"Larry!" Joanie yelled at him. "I told I didn't want any of that brought up!"   
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. End of conversation." He told her before leaning over and whispering to Mark. "Good shot. I've wanted to punch Jack square in the face for years."   
  
"I heard that!" Joanie yelled at him causing Roger, Patrick and Mickey to laugh. 

"Okay, okay. You heard your mother. Now everyone shut up about how happy we are about Mark beating the crap out of Jack." Larry laughed as Joanie glared at him with her hands on her hips. "Now can we please eat?"   
  
"Oh you're terrible." Joanie told him as she turned back to getting dinner ready. 

  
They all sat down and started dinner. Pot roast with mashed potatoes, just like Mark had said. When they had almost finished, the phone rang. Patrick reached back and answered it. "Yeah, they're here. Finally." He gave Roger a look. "Yeah come on over. Okay. Bye." He hung up the phone. "Randy is coming over. He said he wanted to see the music you had."   
  
"Oh that reminds me, did you show them what you found in the basement?" Joanie asked Larry.

"Not yet." He laughed and got up. When he came back he dropped a stack of papers in front of Roger and a videotape in front of Mark. 

"What is it?" Cass asked Roger who got a slight grin on his face. 

"Some really bad stuff I wrote in high school."   
  
"Oh this could be really bad Rog." Mark told him holding up the tape. "All it says is 'Band fall 10th'. That means like sophomore year."  
  
"Oh yeah, we're watching that!" Cass said grabbing at the tape.

"No way!" Mark pulled it out of her reach, right into Maureen's, who grabbed it.

"Oh yeah!" Maureen grinned. 

Shelly laughed watching them. "I vote for dessert and a movie in the other room!" 

*****************

"Oh this is bad, so, so bad." Mark groaned, sitting down in the living room. 

"Oh Marky relax!" Cass laughed. 

"Yeah, relax Mark." Randy grinned. "This could be really funny."   
  
"Don't laugh dickhead," Roger told him, "if it's the band your in there two."   
  
Randy shrugged. "What do I care? Karla knew me back then." He laughed. "Besides I've been married to her for three kids and forever." 

  
"Okay turn it on." Shelly handed out plates of cherry cobbler with ice cream. 

Mickey pushed play and the tape started. The picture came up of Roger, in a garage tuning his guitar. 

"Oh my God Roger! You're so skinny!" Cass laughed. 

"Nice hair Rog." Maureen grinned. 

"Hey it was the eighties." He laughed as they turned back to the TV. 

"Okay are we ready now?" Roger asked. Off screen you heard people agree. 

Mark's voice from behind the camera came through the TV. "Okay, what is it this week?"   
  
"Wasted youth." A very young Randy answered from behind a guitar. 

"I thought we were going with Dazed and Confused?" The drummer asked. 

"We're still deciding on that." Roger answered to the camera 

"God Mark even back then you were shoving a camera in someone's face." Maureen laughed. 

"So what was the name of your band?" Cass asked. 

"Ha! Which week?" Randy laughed. 

"Yeah we had a few issues deciding on a new name." Roger explained. 

"What do mean a new name?"   
  
"Yeah Rog, tell Cass what the band's original name was. She'll appreciate it." Mark told him while giving them a look. 

Roger got a slight grin on his face. "Originally it was Better Living Through Chemistry, but we couldn't play anything at school with that name. The vice Principe had 'issues'."  
  
"So did your mother." Joanie told them from the love seat. 

By then the band had started playing. Patrick nudged Roger with his foot. "Um, you have improved since then right?" He teased. 

"He's right Roger." Maureen laughed. "You guys suck!"  
  
"Hey, we were still looking for our grove." Roger said. "Granted, we're not as good as the Well Hungarians, which was the best band I ever had, but we were young, and well we…"  
  
"Sucked." Randy agreed, nodding his head. 

"Yeah, you pretty much sucked Roger." Mark laughed. 

"Okay, okay," He laughed. "Your right, we sucked."   
  
As the song ended a young whiny voice off screen started speaking. "Come on Mark you said I could film some of it!"   
  
"Forget it. I never said that."   
  
"Yes you did."   
  
"No I didn't." Mark answered, still filming the band. 

"Yes you did! Roger! Tell Mark to let me do some!"   
  
"Mark let him play with the camera."

"Yeah!" Mickey said, sticking out his tongue as Mark turned the camera on him. 

"Maybe it will shut him up and we won't have to lock him in the closet!" Roger snapped. 

Everyone laughed at that. "God Mickey, what are you ten there?" Shelly asked. "Your such a little kid!"   
  
"An annoying little kid." Roger added. "God you wouldn't leave up alone."   
  
"Yeah Mickey." Mark laughed. "You followed us everywhere. God you were annoying!"   
  
"Well he had to be around twelve." Joanie spoke up. "Look at the garage. It was after you guys built the loft, but before you caught the garage on fire."   
  
"You caught the garage on fire?" Maureen looked at Mark wide-eyed.

"Not me! Roger and Mickey!"   
  
"It wasn't me!" Roger protested. It was all his fault." He pointed at Mickey. "Idiot crushed out a cigarette on a stack of newspapers."   
  
"They were your cigarettes!"   
  
"Well I never told you that you could smoke them!"   
  
"Luckily, I was home to take care of everything." Patrick told them. 

"Please! You were washing your car and hosed down the papers. It wasn't that bid a deal Patrick." Mickey told him. 

"The point was, none of you, especially you," Joanie pointed at Mickey, "should have been smoking."   
  
"Like I said, luckily I was home to take care of everything. As usual." Patrick grinned. 

"Like you did the weekend I left you in charge so Larry and I could go away. The weekend of the big party?" Joanie asked him. "I promise Mom, I won't have a party, I promise." Joanie imitated Patrick. 

He started laughing. "That wasn't my party! Honest! It was Roger's!"   
  
"Bull! You had just as many people here as I did." Roger yelled at him. 

"Yeah, but you set it up. The whole thing was your fault!"

"No it wasn't! Mickey's the idiot who called Arron and Scott."   
  
"Oh yeah, blame me, as usual!" Mickey gripped as everyone laughed. 

"Well it was your fault!"   
  
"Roger's right," Patrick agreed, "it was your fault!"   
  
"See Cass," Joanie said, "this is why you'll need more than one child. That way they'll always have someone to blame. And you always know who did what, because the less guilty will always sell out the more guilty to save his own butt!" 

Everybody laughed at that. "Well one will have to do." Cass told them laughing. "Besides, when ever anything happens we know who's fault it is."   
  
"Who's?" Mickey asked. 

"Roger's." Cass, Mark and Maureen all answered at the same time to everyone's laughter. 

"Hey!" Roger protested. 

"Oh come on Roger." Mark laughed. "Let's see, guitar strings in the vacuum cleaner, cassette tape in the vacuum cleaner, soap bubbles coming out of the washing machine, mud in the dryer, remote controls in toilet, red peppercorns in the coffee grinder…" 

"Oh now your just making things up!"   
  
"So moving on," Cass broke in, as she tried to keep Roger from getting upset. "So what happened at the 'big party'?"  
  
"Nothing." Roger said. 

"Nothing." Patrick agreed. 

"Oh it was so cool!" Mickey jumped in as Roger and Patrick groaned.

"It was not 'cool'." Joanie said, taking over the conversation. "We went away for the weekend. One lousy weekend. I left Patrick in charge. Apparently to him that meant become social coordinator for the entire high school."   
  
"I wasn't that big a party." Patrick said.

"Oh it was an awesome party." Randy laughed. 

"That's because you got out of it." Roger grumbled. 

"Got out of what?" Maureen asked. 

"Well," Joanie began. "They decide to have a party. A big party. Patrick was a senior, Roger and Mark were sophomores and Mickey was like twelve. Anyway, half the high school was here."   
  
"It wasn't that many people." Patrick cut her off. 

"It was a lot of people Patrick." Shelly told him, laughing. 

"Anyway," Joanie continued, "I'm sure Mickey was shunned from everything."   
  
"We tried to lock him in the closet." Roger grinned. 

"He kept getting out though." Randy laughed. 

Joanie gave them both a look that said be quiet and then continued. "So he had someone to hang out with, he called his cousins, Cathy's boys, Arron and Scottie. 

"Now I don't know what exactly went on during the party, but the twins, were what like fourteen? Well when they came stumbling in, drunk off their rears around two or three, Frank heard them."   
  
"Yeah, that's when it hit the fan." Roger shook his head. 

  
"Why what happened?" Cass asked him. 

"Uncle Frank came over at like six that morning." He grumbled. 

"God that day was bad." Mark added, shaking his head as Joanie continued. 

"So Frank comes over at six. He finds Patrick and Shelly in my bed. Randy and Karla in Patrick's room. Roger and some red head in his room. Mark passed out on the couch and my twelve year old asleep on the love seat with his head hung in a waste basket."   
  
"Well I wasn't gonna hold his head over the toilet all night." Mark told them bluntly. 

  
"So what happened next?" Maureen asked. 

"Uncle Frank woke us all up, has Shelly take all the girls and various stray people home and then called Aunt Cathy." Patrick told them. 

"Oh Cathy was furious with all of you!" Joanie said. "Frank called, told her to wake up the twins and get them over here."   
  
"What did he do to you guys?" Cass asked. "Oh it was miserable." Mark said. "We were all hungover, had like no sleep and Frank made us clean the whole house."   
  
"Yeah, him and Aunt Cathy just sat at the table, eating breakfast, drinking coffee and reading the paper." Patrick said, finishing his dessert. "And every know and then Aunt Cathy would come through, inspect everything, and make us re do stuff."   
  
"So you had to clean the house. You would have had to do that anyway." Maureen said. "If that's all that happened, you were lucky."   
  
"But that wasn't all." Roger grumbled. 

"Not by a long shot." Mark agreed. 

  
"Oh yeah." Randy started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Cass asked. 

"After we got the house cleaned I went home." Randy laughed. 

  
"You mean escaped." Roger said. 

"Hey he wasn't my uncle."   
  
"Why, what happened?" Maureen asked. 

"Uncle Frank took the twins, me, Mark, Patrick and Mickey back to his house and made us start sanding and painting his garage. All day. In the sun. With major hangover." 

"Yeah, it was bad, all we wanted to do was go to sleep or throw up at that point." Patrick told them. "And Uncle Frank was standing right on top of us all day. Drinking beer and smoking those really stinky cigars."   
  
"Oh God yeah." Mark made a sour face remembering the smell and how his stomach felt that day.

At seeing that Cass, Maureen and Shelly all started laughing. 

"Well it served you all right. I may have been better off leaving you three with your father for the weekend."   
  
"Not really." Larry finally spoke up. 

"Now come on, Jack has his uses." Patrick told them.

"Yeah." Mickey jumped up. "Who do you think bought us the beer?"   
  
Joanie just shook her head as everyone else laughed.  
  



	83. 83

A/N Just a short little chapter, but it's important. Sets the mood for what everyone is feeling.

Chapter 83 

Cass was lying in bed in the dark when Roger opened the bedroom door, trying to be quiet. She sat up as he came in. "Hey. I thought you'd be asleep by now." He said, pulling his shirt off over his head. 

"I can't get comfortable."   
  
"Oh." He stripped out of his pants and crawled into bed next to her, rubbing her back as he did. "That any better?"   
  
"A little." She shifted some to make it easier for him. "It's kind of nice, not having Mark in here."   
  
"Uh huh. Patrick's gonna leave the air mattress here so him and Mo can sleep in the basement from now on."   
  
"That's good. Do you think Kitty ever wonders why Mark stays at your mom's house when we come to Scarsdale instead of staying with them?"   
  
"No. She either doesn't think about it, or doesn't want to deal with Mark and his dad." He kept rubbing her back. 

"What time do you have to be at Randy's tomorrow?"   
  
"We're gonna meet to practice at noon, but the party won't start till at least eight."   
  
"Is it okay if I just stay here while you practice? I don't think I can handle that and a party tomorrow."   
  
"Sure. Take a nap. I still can't believe we're doing this."   
  
She rolled over and faced him. "Oh you'll have fun and you know it." She grinned. "I mean how many people get to go back and play with their high school band?"   
  
He smiled. "Yeah, but we were horrible."   
  
"Well, you weren't great then, but your incredible now." She kissed him. 

"I don't know. It still seems weird. Randy still knows people we went to high school with. A lot of them will be there."   
  
"So what?"   
  
"Well, a lot of them have done stuff. You know?"   
  
"You've done stuff."   
  
"I've done drugs. That's not saying a lot."   
  
"No. You're a successful songwriter with songs soon to be on the radio."   
  
"Songs that nobody will know I wrote."   
  
"Well, you did. And that's enough for me." She kissed him again. 

"Good. Cause you're the only one I care about." He kissed her. 

"I better be." Cass cuddled up next to him. "So are there going to be a lot of people you went to high school with at Randy's?"   
  
"Yeah." He played with her hair.

"What about the red head your Uncle Frank caught you in bed with?"   
  
Roger grinned. "Emma? I don't know. Why? Jealous?"   
  
"Nope." She laughed. "She may have had you first, but I've got you now." She kissed him gently on the lips as she ran her finger down his arm, taking his hand. "And I like you much better now. You're perfect."   
  
With his other hand still running through her hair he sighed slowly before he spoke. "Baby I'm so far from perfect it's not even funny. The only thing that even puts me on the good side of decent is having you." He kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair till she fell asleep.

***************

Cass walked down stairs to the dining room and found Joanie sitting at the table, paying bills. Joanie looked up and smiled as she walked in and sat down. "Hi Sweetie. Did you get any sleep?"   
  
"Not really. Where is everyone?"   
  
"Larry is meeting a client for lunch and golf. Roger's at Randy's and Mark and Maureen went to get something to eat before going to his mother's. Both under strict instructions from Roger to behave while having dinner with his family and not to be calling and bothering you all day. As a matter a fact Roger told Maureen to just not talk while she was there." Joanie laughed. 

"That's a helpful move with her sometimes." Cass got a small smile.

"You want some lunch?"  
  
"No thanks." She rested her head on her arms on the table. "I feel like I'm never going to get any sleep ever again." She said on the verge of tears.

"Oh Sweetie." Joanie got up and sat next to her, rubbing her back. "I hate to tell you this, but it's going to get worse before it gets better. But it's only a few more weeks."   
  
By then she did start crying. "God I must be out of my mind. I don't know anything about babies. I don't even know anything about kids in general."   
  
"Cass you guys are going to be fine." Joanie smiled. 

  
"No we're not." Cass sobbed. "Roger's scared to death of ending up anything at all like Jack. And I'm not exactly the maternal type. I mean I barely remember my mom. And we don't know what we're doing. It took Roger and Mark two hours to put together a crib. I don't know how to cook and I'm so tired because he keeps kicking me in the ribs as soon as I lay down!" She cried. 

"Oh Sweetie." Joanie said through a small laugh. "You guys are going to be fine. Don't worry about cooking. You'll all survive. And Roger is nothing like Jack. Nothing at all. He never could be. Ever. And I'll tell him that.

"As for being maternal, don't worry about it. You've got Mark. Look at what a good job he's done taking care of Roger all these years." She pushed some hair off Cass' face and handed her a napkin to wipe her eyes. 

"And it's going to get better. You're going to get some sleep. I promise. And you're lucky. Luckier than most people. After you have this baby, you're going to have more help than you know what to do with. When I had Patrick, Jack was in the army already, and not around much and we lived in a dinky little apartment on a base. I ended up moving back here with my mom. I was working and Patrick was such a little devil. I thought I'd lose my mind." She shook her head.

"So what happened?" Cass wiped her face.

Joanie grinned. "I got pregnant with Roger. Jack was on the other side of the country getting shipped over to Vietnam. Cathy had married Frank and I hardly saw her. You think you're tired now? Wait till you're pregnant again and you have a two-year-old who's an absolute terror running around. Then you'll know tired." She laughed. "At least you'll have plenty of help."   
  
"What do you mean?" She sniffed. 

"You've got Roger. And Mark. Not to mention Maureen. She's awfully excited about that baby." She smiled. "Along with all your other friends I'm always hearing about. Plus you've got Patrick and Shelly. And Cathy. And me and Larry."  
  
"You left out Mickey." Cass smiled. 

"No I didn't." Joanie laughed. "Honey, I love Mickey but I wouldn't leave a hamster in his care. So no, I didn't leave him out. However he is good for running errands. We can send him to pick up pizza." She winked. "But me on the other hand," she laughed again, "you'll have to beat me off with a stick!"

"Good, because I don't have the slightest idea what I'm doing."   
  
"You're going to be fine."   
  
"God I hope so." She wiped at her eyes. "So what happened when you found out you were having Roger?" 

"I cried." She laughed. "I was so tired and Jack was so far away. And then we found out Jack's brother was missing in action." She shook her head. "That's who Roger's named after, Jack's older brother Roger. I think that's when Jack really started to lose it."   
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Jack saw some not so great stuff in Vietnam. His brother got killed. He started drinking badly. That's when he got that stupid idea Roger wasn't his."   
  
"So what happened?"   
  
"Same thing that always happens. Eventually you give birth." She smiled thinking back on it. "And for all the crying and colic and everything I had with Patrick, Roger was an absolute angel."   
  
"Really? Roger?"   
  
"Roger. He was the absolute sweetest, easiest baby. He slept through the night almost from the start. He hardly ever fussed. He ate great, wasn't picky. He was so good."   
  
"Are we talking about the same Roger?"   
  
"The same one. It's not that Patrick was so bad or anything. It's just Roger was seriously like this little angel when he was little. Everybody loved him." 

"So how did he turn into my own personal rebel without a cause?"   
  
Joanie sighed. "Like I said, everybody loved him. Everybody but one. One rotten, no good, drunken bastard."   
  
"Jack?"   
  
She nodded. "As he got older the worse Jack got. Patrick and Mickey got what little Jack had to offer by then. The more Roger tried, the more Jack resisted. Finally he gave up." She shrugged. "I guess he figured he might as well start doing something to deserve the crap he was getting." She looked away and let out a sad sounding sigh.

"I know a lot of Roger's problems stem from a lot of things that happen around here. And I blame myself for a lot of it. If I had been a stronger person, my boys would have been a lot better off. I'm grateful Patrick and Mickey got through it as well as they did. And that Roger had Mark all those years. And now he's got you. And that baby. And you guys are going to do great." She leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "Just great."   
  
"Thanks Joanie." Cass wiped her nose on the napkin again before resting her head on her arms again. 

"You're welcome. Now let me make you some lunch." She got up and went back to the kitchen. By the time she came back with a plate of food, Cass was sound asleep. 


	84. 84

A/N To em0xstatic- No, no one in Roger's family knows he's HIV+. That was an issue early on between Mark and Roger. When Roger first called her during that first weekend when Cass showed up. Mark was telling him how he needs to tell his mother. How it's not fair to her or to Mark if Mark has to just call her up one day and tell her Roger's dead. But don't worry, it gets dealt with soon.

Thanks again. 

Kelby

Chapter 84 

"Come in!" Mark yelled from the couch at the front door. 

After a minute of struggling with the keys, locks and doorknobs, Ginny got up and let a very obviously drunk Collins and Jason in. They stumbled through the door laughing about how the key wouldn't work. 

"Uh huh." Was all Mark said as Jason fell into the chair pulling Collins down with him. Roger, Cass and Maureen were quite as Jason continued babbling on. 

"So I think Jen's banging a cop." Jason kept going. 

"We stopped by," Collins laughed, "but she had the inside deadbolt on. I don't think she wanted any more company." The two of them fell into fits of laughter at that.

"Yeah, I guess." Mark agreed, taking a chip from the bowl that was resting on Cass' stomach. 

"So we figured we'd come up here. Seeing as how we've haven't seen you guys in like almost two weeks."   
  
"Yeah, we've been busy." Jason laughed. 

"Uh huh." Mark answered as he finished off his beer and looked at Cass. 

"Oh you guys are just a barrel of laughs tonight." Jason told them. 

"Yeah well, we're just sitting around." Maureen said, eyes going from Mark, Cass and Roger on the couch to Jason and Collins. 

Even drunk Collins was getting the feeling something was up. Something wasn't right. They were all sitting around staring at the TV, but not really watching it. Like they were all waiting or something. He got the feeling maybe they should leave. Unfortunately, Jason didn't get that same feeling just then. 

Cass picked up the bowl and handed it to Mark. She edged forward on the couch, moving to stand up. Roger got up and pulled her up to her feet before sitting back down. She started to move towards the kitchen. 

"Damn Cass!" Jason exclaimed. "I know we haven't seen you in awhile, but damn you got huge! What you got in there anyway?" He laughed hard. 

Cass had stopped walking when Jason started speaking. As he talked, everyone watched the expression on Cass' face change, almost crumble as she broke into tears and took off for her room. 

"Cass!" Mark and Roger both called after her as they hopped up off the couch heading toward the bedroom. 

"Finally." Ginny said getting up from her spot on the floor. "I was beginning to think we'd be sitting here all night waiting for that."   
  
"What's going on? Waiting for what?" Collins was sobering up quickly as he got up off Jason's lap. 

"Waiting for Cass to have a meltdown." Maureen finally spoke. Collins and Jason just looked at her, waiting for more explanation. "Her dad called, just before six. Her cousin Anton, the bastard that he is, is dead." 

"What happened? Jason sat up, realizing his buzz was definitely gone. 

Maureen shrugged. "We were all just sitting around talking about getting dinner. Cass answered the phone. She got real quiet, only said stuff like 'uh huh, okay' and 'I see.' Then after a minute she got a little upset, started yelling into the phone saying 'that's not going to happen' and 'I said I'm not going.' Then she slammed down the phone, walked over to the dryer and started slamming the laundry baskets around." 

"So what happened?" Jason asked again. 

"We didn't know. She wouldn't say anything. Roger and Mark couldn't find out. She just picked up the laundry and walked into their room." Ginny told them. "That was when he called back and wanted to talk to Roger."   
  
"Her dad wanted to talk to Roger?" Collins asked amazed. 

"Yup. Oh Collins you would have been so proud of him. He didn't yell or lose his temper or anything. He just listened and then calmly told him something like sorry but if Cass doesn't want to go, she's not going. I swear Collins, lately sometimes it's like Roger and Mark are actually sharing one brain." Maureen grinned. 

"So then what?" Jason asked, realizing he sounded like his sister. 

"A few minutes later, she came back out, and sat down. She didn't want to talk about it. Like I said, we've been sitting around waiting for her to have a meltdown."

"So the bastard is actually dead." Jason shook his head. "That's good right? Now he can't bother her. Or the baby."   
  
"How did he die?" Collins asked. 

Maureen shrugged again. "Her dad told Roger he had some kind of heart problem. Always had it. Roger said with all the crap he's on, he either OD'ed or his heart probably exploded in his chest."   
  
"Wow." Collins shook his head. "And she's just been sitting here all night?"   
  
"Uh huh."   
  
"Is that gonna make her go into labor?" Jason asked Ginny. 

Ginny shrugged. "Maybe. Even if it does it's no big deal now. She's due in two weeks. She could go anytime now and that's okay."   
  
"Oh. Maybe we should go." Collins said standing up. 

"Yeah. Listen Mo, tell them I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by what I said." Jason told her. 

"It's okay. It had to happen eventually tonight."   
  
"Well call us if you need anything."   


"Yeah. Definitely." Jason agreed. 

"Okay. You guys gonna get home okay?" Maureen asked. 

"Yeah, I think I'm sober now." Jason said blankly. 

"Yeah I'm going home too Mo. Holler if you need me."   
  
"Okay. Bye guys." Maureen said, closing the door behind them. She looked at the closed bedroom door and sighed as she sat down on the couch, alone.

****************

When Cass came out of the bathroom Mark and Roger were already in the bedroom. She wiped her eyes and shoved the tissue in her pocket. 

"Cass." Roger said softly. 

"I'm fine." She said without looking up. 

"Cass…"   
  
"I said I'm fine." She snapped at them as she started to sort out the clean laundry in the basket on the bed. 

"Cass, Baby…" Roger moved towards her slowly watching her the whole time. 

"You know I went hiking in Austria." She pulled laundry out of the basket. "I've gone scuba diving in the islands. I've rock climbed. I've taken about a thousand kick boxing classes. I ran a friggin half marathon for God sake!"   
  
"Cass, Baby… it's okay." Roger whispered. 

"Cass it's not your fault." Mark told her. 

"You know I used to be really thin. I used to be in incredible shape."   
  
"Baby it's not your fault." Roger came up behind her and took her shaking hands in his. "It's not your fault Baby." He whispered in her ear. 

Mark moved the laundry basket and sat on the bed. 

"I could have left. I could have gone to school somewhere." She said, pulling one of her hands free from Roger and running it through her hair.   
  
"Cass…" Mark said softly. 

"Got a job for a different company. I could have just done something else."   
  
"Cass…" Mark took her hand so she would sit on the bed. 

"I should have just got on that plane too. Then none of this would have ever happened."   
  
"No Baby. That's not it."   
  
"It's not your fault Cass. None of it."   
  
By then she started crying again. They lay back on the bed. Roger was laying right behind her, rubbing her stomach and whispering into her hair while Cass rested her head on Mark's shoulder, soaking his shirt with tears.

"Baby it's okay. Don't cry. Please."   
  
"Yeah Cass, please?" Mark begged. "He can't hurt you ever again.

"Mark's right Baby. He can't ever hurt you again. You or the baby. Ever."   
  
  
  
******************  


They laid there in the dark like that for awhile. Roger realized both Mark and Cass had fallen asleep. Roger laid there listening to them breath. The whole night kept running through his brain. Watching Cass on the phone. Talking to her father. Then waiting. Waiting for Cass to break. Waiting for him and Mark to be able to pick up the pieces if needed. 

The she fell apart. And Mark was right there for her. Granted by then he was almost drunk. Roger knew he had had at least five if not six beers by then. 

They both had been talking to her. Trying to get her to stop crying. To make her feel better. Both holding her. Both trying to comfort her. That was when she said it. She had been crying. She was almost calmed down. Holding his arms tight around her, his wife, who was still leaning on Mark's shoulder sleepily uttered, "Don't ever leave me." Roger couldn't answer that. He couldn't. He couldn't promise her that. And before he could say anything else, Mark answered her. He could hear the beer in his voice when he said it. "I'll never leave you Cass."   
  
Mark said it and he couldn't. He hated himself for that. He hated Mark for that too. Hated him and loved him for it. He knew Mark was right. He would always be there for her. Even when Roger wouldn't. 

He laid there a few more minutes listening to them sleep. Quietly he climbed out of the bed, being careful not to wake them. He walked out to the kitchen and took the juice out of the fridge. 

"What do you have against using a glass?" Maureen gave him a small grin so he knew she was kidding. 

"Sorry." He reached into the cupboard and pulled out a glass. "What are you doing still up?"   
  
"Couldn't sleep. Is she okay?"   
  
"Yeah, I think so. Maybe. I don't know."   
  
"She's still seeing Elizabeth right?"   
  
"Yeah." He sat down on the couch next to Maureen. "I should probably call her tomorrow. Tell her what's going on. See what she says."   
  
"Probably a good idea." She nodded. "Marky asleep?"   
  
"Yeah." He turned away, thinking back to earlier. 

"He had a few beers." She watched him. "Roger are you okay?"   
  
"Yeah." He rested his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes. "You know that bastard started sleeping with her when she was thirteen. He stuck a straw up her nose when she was fourteen. Not to mention all the other crap."   
  
"Guess he did us all a favor."   
  
"What?"   
  
"He did himself in. Saved you the trouble. Mark couldn't handle visiting you in prison. He's too much of a pretty boy. Even for the visitor's room."   
  
Roger looked up at her, not sure at first if she was kidding or not. He decided she was by her grin. "Thanks. I think." He rested his head back on the couch. 

"What's the matter?"   
  
He sighed. "Why is she so upset? You'd think she'd be happy he's dead. I am."   
  
Maureen thought for a moment. "I can understand that. And I can't blame you for it. But you gotta remember Roger, there was a lot more between them then just hat horrible weekend in Italy."   
  
"What do you mean?" He sat up some.

"Well think about it. Her mom dies when she's like seven. From then on she was basically left alone with housekeepers and stuff. The he came along and got left with her. He was pretty much all she had. He was older then her, paid attention to her." She shrugged. "It's easy to see how it all happened."   
  
"She still should hate him."   
  
"She does. But in some twisted way she probably loved him sorta too."   
  
"Great."   
  
"Not like she loves you dummy. Look, it seems like the only stability she's ever had was after she met Mark. And strangely enough, you."   
  
"Yeah, but…"   
  
"No butts. That's how it is. Look, I'm glad he's dead. For her sake, and yours. Not to mention the baby's." When he didn't say anything she continued. "Nobody has to worry about him showing up and doing any math. I mean you may be some no talent, fuck up loser, pain in the ass, but you'll be a way better as a father for that baby then he ever could." 

"Thanks again. I think." He rolled his eyes. "You really think you can love someone but hate them and despise them so much at the same time?"   
  
"Of course. Look at Mark and his dad. Or you and yours." 

  
"Uh, there's only hatred and despise there."   
  
"You think huh?" She just looked at him for a second, deciding not to push it. "Okay how about you and me?"   
  
"What about us?"   
  
"You know, you hate me at times, but you still love and adore me." She grinned. 

"You're annoying beyond belief sometimes, but I never really hated you."   
  
"Ah, so you admit you love me then." She laughed. "And you did hate me at times, but it was only because you love Mark."   
  
"Yeah well…"   
  
"No, you were right. But Mark and I are really good examples of hating someone but loving them too. He's so damn good. That's why I love him. And hate him." She shrugged. 

"What about him?" He asked, knowing the answer already.

"He loves me. And hates me." She sighed. 

"Yeah but you guys are back together." He asked gently, hoping maybe he'll finally get some answers on the whole Mark – Maureen thing.

"Not really." She laughed. "Anyway, you know everything I'm sure."   
  
"Actually, I don't know anything. I think I've been afraid to ask him." He got a small grin. 

"Well there's not much to tell. I mean we're not sleeping together or anything."  
  
"You're not?" He sat up again. "But I thought you switched teams again. And you sleep in there all the time."   
  
"Okay, I'm ignoring the team switching comment. But yeah, I sleep in his room a lot, but that's all. We're not having sex Roger."   
  
"Really?"   
  
"Yes really." She let out a long sigh. "I guess I can't blame him. I mean I know I hurt him real bad in the past. I never meant to, it just happened. I guess he doesn't trust me. I think he's waiting to see if I just start doing all that again."   
  
"Are you going to?"   
  
"No! I'm different now. Really. I never wanted to hurt him you know. I was just stupid. And selfish."   
  
"Yeah, I guess you are different now."   
  
"Really, I am."   
  
Roger looked at her for a minute. "Mo, can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure."   
  
He hesitated for a second, not sure he wanted to ask this question. "Back when you and Mark were, um, 'having problems,' that was kinda the same time April and I weren't always doing so great. I mean we shot up a lot, and fought a lot. And occasionally broke up for the night or so."   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Yeah, so, um, Mark and I used to get into some nasty arguments."   
  
"Yeah, I remember." She said quietly. 

"Well a lot of stuff back then is, um, well a little fuzzy."   
  
"What are you trying to say Roger?"   
  
He took a breath. "Back then, did you and me ever…"  
  
"EWWW! God Roger! NO! I mean I said I never meant to hurt Mark! That would have killed him!"   
  
"Oh, good. I mean I was just checking."   
  
"I mean even back then I had my standards." She laughed at the look on his face. "No really Rog, you would never have been a consideration. No matter what, I could never hate Mark enough to do that. I loved him." She shrugged. "I still do."   
  
"What about Joanne?"   
  
"I loved her too. But that doesn't mean we were supposed to be with each other. We both had baggage. Part of mine was Mark. She knew that."   
  
"Yeah, Mark's been dragging you around for years." He gave her a slight grin. 

"Well Mark's got baggage too." She looked at him for a second before her eyes traveled to the closed bedroom door where Mark and Cass slept. 

"Yeah, I know." He looked down at his empty glass. "I know."   
  
Maureen watched him. "It's not a bad thing Roger. The way he is with you and with Cass. It's just the way he is. Shows you how good he is. One of the things that makes us love him. And hate him. That's just how it is."   
  
"Yeah, I guess."   
  
"Go to bed Davis. You wife needs you. So does your best friend." She got up from the couch. 

"Yeah, okay." He stood up and started to step towards his room then stopped. "Hey Mo." He looked at her. "Thanks." He paused for a second. "Don't make me hate you again. Be good to Mark."   
  
She walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek. "You're welcome. And I'm trying." 


	85. 85

A/N Well this is a long chapter, but definitely worth it! I think you're going to like what happens, especially towards the end. 

Chapter 85

"Cass are you sure that's all you want?" Deanne the waitress at the Life Café asked putting their food down on the table. "I'll have the kitchen make you what ever you want. Something off the breakfast menu even."   
  
"Thanks. But I'm not really all that hungry."   
  
"Yeah she says that now." Mark laughed, dumping ketchup on his fries. "Then she eats mine and Roger's"

"Well let me know if you change your mind." Deanne smiled at Cass. 

"Have you noticed how much nicer they are to us now that we always have money for the bill?" Mark laughed, joined by Roger and Maureen. 

"Not to mention the tip." Stephanie the other waitress added to Mark, who started to turn red. "We thought maybe you had that baby when we didn't see you guys for a few days."   
  
"No such luck." Cass groaned. 

"When are you due again?"   
  
"Four days ago." Roger told her bluntly, reaching for the ketchup from Mark.  
  
"Ouch. Well you guys need anything else just holler."   
  
"Thanks Stephanie." Collins told her as they all started to eat. 

The front door was opening closing as people came in and out. Nobody paid any attention as it opened again. "Is this a private party or can anyone join?"   
  
"Joanne!" Jen said, jumping up to hug her. As everyone said hello she sat down. 

From the far end of the table Maureen gave her a small smile. "Hey."   
  
"Hey." She said back, tying to keep the awkwardness out.

"Where are you staying Joanne? You can stay at my place if you want." Jen told her. 

"Or mine." Ginny added. 

"I'd offer ours," Collins said, "but it's kind of a mess right now."

"Yeah." Jason gave him a slight grin. 

Joanne caught the grin and laughed a little. "No it's okay. I'm going to stay at my parent's place. But I may remember the offers for next visit depending on how this one goes." She laughed. 

"So I thought you couldn't come up." Cass asked eating some of Mark's fries. 

"Well, I was supposed to come up for Memorial Day weekend, but then a bunch of stuff got screwed up. So I had to stay and take care of it. I figured I'd come up today and spend the rest of the week working out of the New York office. Plus I figured someone would have had that baby by now!" She laughed. 

"Yeah, you and me both." Cass told her. 

Joanne laughed at that. "So what are you four or five days over due?"   
  
"Four." She said bitterly. 

"Can't they induce you Cass?" Jen asked as Joanne ordered her dinner. 

"Unless Cass or the baby is in distress they won't induce her till she's two weeks over due." Ginny explained. 

"Two weeks!" Mark said as both his and Roger's head shot up. "I don't know if I can take two more weeks." Mark moaned as Maureen smacked him in the shoulder. 

"Who cares about you! That's almost a whole week and a half from now! I can't go that long!" Cass sounded as if she was going to cry.

"Relax." Ginny told her, sipping her beer. "You'll probably go before then. It's only four days Cass." She said somewhat unsympathetically. "It's something like less then ten percent of babies are actually born on their due dates."   
  
"Great." Cass pouted. 

"Hey, Izzy offered to get out the big amp for you to sit on to see if it would help." Roger laughed picking up his burger. 

"Ha ha, very funny." Cass gave him a dirty look. 

"Isn't there any other way to get to go into labor?" Maureen asked hopefully. 

"I thought I read that having sex would induce labor." Jen said. 

"Really?" Cass' head shot up. 

"I've read that too." Joanne added. 

"That's all it takes?" Cass almost jumped out of her chair. "Oh we're out of here. Let's go." She told Roger who looked up at her as he chewed on a mouthful of burger. 

"What?" He swallowed. 

"Let's go!" She told him as everyone else started laughing. 

"I'm eating dinner." Roger looked at her like she was crazy. 

  
"Get a to go box!" 

"Cass!" He shook his head. He could feel his face getting red as everyone, especially Collins, Jason and Mark laughed. 

"Fine!" She whined. "I'm not proud, but I am desperate! Mark will do. Let's go Marky!"   
  
"Me?" Mark squeaked out through a mouthful of food before glancing sideways at Roger. 

"Forget it." Roger growled at him. 

"Fine, make me suffer!" Cass put on a pout as she looked across the table towards Collins and Jason. 

"Don't even think about it." Collins laughed, leaning against Jason who was laughing so hard he was turning red. 

"It doesn't always work Cass." Ginny laughed. "It's far from a full proof method. Plus you have to do it a bunch of times."   
  
"Really?" She asked disappointed. "Well forget it then. If sex doesn't guarantee I go into labor then it's definitely not worth even bothering."   
  
"Oh thanks a lot!" Roger told her, half laughing as every else lost it. 

********************

Roger walked into the bedroom, setting his shoes on the floor as he went into the bathroom. When he came out, he had on just his boxers as he tossed his pants and shirt onto the floor next to the hamper before climbing into the bed. 

"Hey. What time is it?" Cass asked in the darkness as she rolled over into his arms. 

"Just after four. What are you doing awake?" He kissed her on the neck. 

"My back hurts."   
  
"Top or bottom?"   
  
"Bottom." She told him as he started rubbing her lower back. "I don't think he's ever coming out." She sighed, almost on the verge of tears. "I'm going to be pregnant forever."   
  
"Maybe not forever." He grinned. "Mark and I watch a lot of TV. If somebody had been pregnant forever, we would have seen it on TV. Longest we ever saw was a year or two. You're only a week and a half over due."   
  
"Oh very funny." 

"Sorry." He leaned over and kissed her again, still rubbing her back. "Is that any better?"   
  
"Uh huh. I've been waiting for you to get home."   
  
"You have huh?" He grinned in the dark. Even though Ginny had said sex wasn't a full proof method to send her into labor, Roger was always willing to keep giving it a shot. 

"Uh huh." She answered sleepily. "Camera boy's no good at this. All he does is push a button. I've been waiting all night for a guitar player."   
  
"Guitar player huh?" He smiled. 

  
"Guitar players have the best hands."   
  
"I'll remember that."   
  
"Yep. Strong. Plus you got big hands."   
  
"So I've been told." He smiled again, thinking back on the night Mimi had told him that. Surprisingly, that didn't make him sad. Actually it was kinda nice. Mimi would have been proud of him. This was about the most he could have ever imagined having his life together. 

He had gotten married. Was having a kid. Had a job he actually showed up for. Not to mention the fact he had been writing and had actually sold songs as well as an up and coming band wanting him to help produce them. 

But there was more to it. He had grown up. He had stopped running and started taking responsibility for what he did. Instead of letting life pass him by and letting Mark and everybody take care of him, he had started taking care of them some. Like Cass. And Mark. 

Mimi would have been really happy about that. She could always see what was actually going on with Mark. She knew what Mark was doing and giving up to take care of him. And then the way he was always there for both of them when they'd fight and run to him for confirmation that they were right and the other was wrong. Mimi could always see what Roger was oblivious to, and Mark was always a sore spot there. Maybe he didn't really see it. Maybe he just didn't want to. Either way, all that had changed. He had stopped taking Mark for granted. 

The first night he met Mimi she had said he had big hands. Granted she didn't have the purest of motives at the time. More like the purest of stash, which was in his back pocket, and she wanted it back. But she had said that, about his hands. Part of it was the stash, part of it was just a way in. He fell in love with her that night. He was still in love with her. He always would be in love with her, but he loved Cass too. 

Roger knew it took both of them to make him who he was today. He and Cass could never have had a relationship like he and Mimi had. The fighting, the jealousy and the insecurities were too much a part of what made up Roger and Mimi. Just like everything he has with Cass are too much a part of what makes up Roger and Cass. It took both of them to make him who he finally was. And he loved them for it. Both of them. 

He was still rubbing her back. He leaned over and kissed her. "I love you Cass."   
  
"Mmm huh."   
  
He realized she had fallen asleep. Smiling he laid down next to her, wrapping his arms around her. 

******************

"Roger. Roger wake up."   
  
He rolled over, pulled the pillow over his head and held out his hand. "Just give me 'em." He said groggily. 

"What?" Mark was confused, but then realized what he was talking about. "No, Rog." He grinned. "It's not time for your pills."   
  
"Then what do you want?" He groaned. "What time is it?"   
  
"7:30. Get up."   
  
"Go away. I only went to sleep three hours ago."   
  
"Roger get up."   
  
"Go away Mark." He threw a pillow at him. 

"Get up! Cass is in labor."   
  
"What!" Roger bolted up and jumped out of bed. Grabbing his pants off the floor. "Jesus! Why didn't you wake me up!" He yelled at Mark who had started laughing at him. "Okay, um, okay," he pulled on his pants. "We gotta call her doctor and go to the hospital!"   
  
Mark laughed again. "Relax."   
  
"Relax? Relax? Cass is about to have a baby and you're telling me to relax? Don't just stand there! And what the hell are you laughing at?"   
  
"She already called her doctor. Apparently we got a little time. And I'm laughing at you."  
  
"Oh great! Cass is in labor and your laughing at me!"   
  
"Relax Roger." Maureen laughed, stepping into the room. "Mark acted the same way when Cass woke him up."   
  
"Great. I'm so happy you two are amused. Where's Cass?"   
  
"She went for bagels with Jen." Maureen told them. 

"What?" Both Roger and Mark jumped at her. 

  
"Don't yell at me. Her doctor said to walk around. It would get her to the next stage faster. She said to tell you to take a shower and get ready."   
  
"I'm ready." Roger told her. Not realizing his shirt he had picked up off the floor from last night was now on inside out and backwards.

"Um, maybe not." Maureen said, pointing at his shirt. "Plus you stink like the Iguana and I know you were wearing that when you left for work yesterday. And if I don't want to smell you, Cass sure as hell won't later. We got time."   
  
"You better be right." Roger told her, pulling off his shirt and heading towards the bathroom. 

Cass and Jen had come back with bagels and coffee. Roger watched the expression on Cass' face change and he looked at his watch. "Okay that's twelve minutes."   
  
"I got almost fourteen minutes." Mark told him. 

"Well it's twelve." Roger snapped at him. 

"I don't think so." Mark shook his head. 

"Well it is!"   
  
"Oh for God sake will you two shut up or it's going to be a long day. And I got twelve minutes." Maureen told them. 

Jen looked at Cass. "Oh this is going to be a fun day."   
  
"Sarcasm. Just what I need." Cass told her, nibbling on her bagel. 

Afterward Jen went into work for awhile promising to meet them all at the hospital later. Cass was in their bedroom, leaning her back against the wall. 

"Baby you doing okay?"   
  
"Yeah…" She grimaced. "I guess. What was that?"   
  
"Eight minutes, thirty-eight seconds. She said we could go to the hospital when you got to seven or eight minutes."   
  
"Good." She let out a breath and stood the rest of the way up as Roger helped her. "I'm ready to get this over with."   
  
"Okay." He realized he probably had a stupid grin on his face again as he walked over to the doorway. "Mark call the cab."   
  
"Okay." Mark answered him. "Did you call your mom? You're supposed to call your mom when we leave for the hospital."   
  
"Yes, I'll call my mom!" Roger snapped back at him. "Now will you get a cab!" He turned back to Cass. "I'm sorry Baby. Mark's gonna just drive me crazy today I have a feeling." Cass smiled at him as he helped her put her shoes on. 

He could tell she was a little freaked out. Actually he was surprised he wasn't more freaked out. He was definitely freaked out, he was just surprised he wasn't more freaked out. And he didn't want Cass to know he was scared. Roger figured they would all be better off that way. 

Roger called his mom as the cab arrived. When they got to the hospital, Mark and Maureen went to the desk to get her checked in. Roger was holding her hand when she started to squeeze it really hard. He briefly thought back to the conversation last night. "Baby you okay?"   
  
"Do I look okay?" She snapped at him. 

"Come on Baby. You're almost there."   
  
"I know. I'm just a little antsy. Sorry."   
  
"It's okay Baby." He leaned over and kissed her. "Love you Baby." 

*******************

"What's happening?" Collins asked as he entered the waiting room. 

"So far, nothing." Jason shrugged from his chair. "And I've been here for almost two hours."   
  
"Oh I'm so sorry this isn't enough to keep you entertained." Jen yelled at him as Ginny came out of Cass' room. "What's going on?"   
  
Ginny shrugged. "Not much. She's dilating, but not real fast." 

  
"What does that mean?" Jason asked. 

"It means it's going to be awhile before she can start pushing."   
  
"Why can't we go in?" Maureen whined. 

"Because there are already three people in there and there really aren't supposed to be more than two." Ginny told her in an all business tone. She was used to Maureen's whining. Actually, Maureen's annoying habits over the years had been good practice for dealing with the anxious people she dealt with in these halls every day.

"Well why does Roger's mom get to stay in there?"

"Because she's his mother and a nurse, so we made an exception." She told her bluntly.

"But-"

"Drop it Mo." Collins cut her off. "How's Cass?" 

"Hot, sweaty and tired. She's getting frustrated and I don't think Mark is currently helping. You guys want to do something? Get those two out of there for a little while and give Cass a few minutes."   
  
"Why? What are they doing?" Collins got a slight grin. 

  
"Well, you know how Mark gets when he's nervous. And well, that's not helping Roger any."   
  
"Yeah. Roger didn't get home till about four, and Mark woke him up a little after seven, so I know he's tired. Plus it's almost four. He's gotta take his pills and he won't even think about it I'm sure, especially with his mom in there."   
  
"Right. Okay, I'll take Roger, you take Mark and Mo you stay with Cass."   
  
"Okay. Roger's mom is in there with her too." Maureen told them. 

After a few minutes of convincing and some pushing from Ginny, Collins got Roger to go get some coffee. After they left Jason just came in and got Mark, dragging him and his camera out.

"Thought you could use a few minutes without Heckle and Jeckel." Ginny told her. "Besides I don't think Roger would make it though seeing them give you an epidural." 

"Thanks Gin." Cass told her as she walked out. She felt another contraction come over her.

"Don't hold you breath Cass. It's easier." Joanie told her. "You're doing great sweetie. Once they give you that epidural, you can get a little rest."   
  
"That's got to hurt when they put that needle in your back."   
  
"Well, a little, but once you get it, you won't care anything about that."

After a few minutes the anesthetize came in for the epidural. Cass sat up on the edge of the bed, her hands on Joanie's shoulders. "Okay Cass you'll feel a little pinch." He told her. 

"Owww!"   
  
"Give it a few minutes Sweetie." Joanie told her helping her lay back down. "How do you feel?" She asked after a few minutes. 

"Better. Weird." She got a small smile on her face. "Probably a good thing Roger missed that."   
  
"He's still scared of needles?" 

"I'm sure he would prefer a different word than scared, but yes."   
  
"I used to wonder about that. After I found out how bad he had gotten and what he had gotten himself into." She shook her head. "I guess I tried convincing myself it couldn't really be that bad. Roger was scared of needles, he couldn't really be shooting up but he was. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it." 

"Nobody could of Joanie. Not until he wanted to. I know that for a fact, so don't blame yourself." 

"I know. But he's my little boy." She got a sheepish grin on her face. "He may be about 6'2" and as stubborn as a mule and pigheaded beyond belief, but he's still my baby. You'll see. Just you wait. You never stop worrying about them. No matter how old they are." 

"Great." 

"Okay, well you try and get some rest. That hard part comes in a little bit." 

************

"Okay Cass, on the next one, give me a real good push."   
  
"Come on Cass, you're doing great." Joanie told her. "Mark, push her knee up when it's time."   
  
"Okay Cass, here we go. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Okay relax."   
  
"You're doing great Baby." Roger told her, letting her lean back down. 

  
"Roger I can't do this." She cried. 

"Sure you can baby."   
  
"No I can't!"   
  
"Come on Cass. You're almost there." Mark told her. 

"Shut up Mark!" She sobbed. 

"Baby you can do this. You're almost there."

The monitor beeped and the doctor looked up. "Okay Cass, here we go again. Hold it as long as you can." She started counting again as Mark and Joanie pushed her knees back and Roger pushed her up into more of a sitting position. "You're doing good Cass."   
  
"I can't do this anymore." She cried. 

"Come on Baby. You can do it. You ran a marathon remember?" He smiled at her, wiping off her face. "You've done harder stuff than this."   
  
"It was a half marathon. And right now I'd sell my soul for a couple of really good lines."   
  
Roger couldn't help but laugh at that. He knew exactly what she meant. "It's okay Baby."   
  
"Okay here we go again Cass. Everybody ready?"   
  
"NO!" Cass snapped as the doctor started counting. 

"Okay, you're crowing." The doctor announced. 

"What's that mean?" Mark asked worriedly. 

"It means the heads about to come out." Joanie explained to him. "Okay Sweetie, you're almost done."   
  
"Give me a big push Cass." The doctor said. 

"Come on Baby!" Roger whispered in her ear. 

"Aghhh!"   
  
"Come on Baby!"   
  
"Okay his heads out! Give me one more push Cass. Here we go!" She said as the baby came the rest of the way out. "Everybody say hello!" She held the baby up. 

"Cass he's beautiful." Ginny told them as she suctioned out his nose and mouth.

  
"You did it Baby! You did it!" Roger kissed her. 

"You want to cut the cord Daddy?" Dr. Greene asked him. 

  
"Um…"   
  
Ginny handed him a pair of scissors. "It's okay. Right between the two clamps." She smiled. 

Roger reached over, hesitated for a moment as he swallowed hard before cutting through the cord. He let out his breath only after he did it and then realized the baby was fine. He watched Ginny wipe him off a little and put a blanket around him as she set the baby on Cass' chest. 

"He's gorgeous!" Joanie said, starting to cry. 

  
"He's so little!" Roger leaned in close to her, picking up the baby's hand as it closed around his finger. 

"He didn't feel that little coming out. But look at him. He's amazing."   
  
"Yeah. So are you." He kissed her again. 

"Is he supposed to be all cheesy? And what's wrong with his head?"

"Mark!" Joanie half yelled at him and half laughed. "My grandson's beautiful! And his head is fine. At least it will be in a day or two."

"Okay, I need him back for a few minutes to take care of business." Ginny told them. "Plus somebody needs to go out there. The natives are getting restless in my hallway."   
  
"Come on Mark." Joanie told him smiling. "We'll see you in a little big Sweetie." She told Cass as she kissed Roger. "I need to go call you aunt. And your grandmother. And your brother." Joanie said, walking out. 

Mark leaned over next to Cass. "That was incredible Cass. Absolutely incredible." He kissed her on the forehead as he looked at the baby. "I should um..." He gestured towards the door where everyone was waiting down the hall. 

"Uh huh." Roger said, staring at Cass as Ginny took the baby.

"Go tell them." Cass smiled at him.

"Give us a few minutes to help Cass get cleaned up and changed Mark. I'll come get you guys and you can come see her and the baby then."   
  
"Okay." Mark squeezed her hand and walked out the door, camera in hand to see everyone. 

****************

Maureen flew out of her chair followed by Jen as soon as they saw Mark coming down the hall. "Well?" 

The grin on Mark's face grew with Maureen's excitement. "It's a boy! That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen!"   
  
"Is he alright? Is Cass alright?" Joanne asked, almost tripping over her suitcase, having come straight from the train station. 

"Yeah! Cass is fine. The baby's fine. Roger's fine. It was really amazing."   
  
"That's great Mark." Collins grinned. "Did you get it all on film?"   
  
"Well, most of it." He grinned. "I was only allowed to film certain things. But I did get Cass about to bite Roger's head off." He laughed. "And Roger cutting the umbilical cord. I thought for a second there he was going to pass out."   
  
"Oh man, this sucks!" Jason exclaimed, looking at a piece of paper he had taken out of his wallet. "I had the right hour, only it was for five days ago! Damn! I guess we should call Izzy. Last I heard the baby pool was over three hundred dollars." Jason said. 

"Oh very nice Jason!" Maureen scolded him. 

"Huh? Oh sorry, you know what I mean." He got a slight embarrassed grin on his face.

"Can we see them? Please?" Jen almost begged. 

  
"Yeah in a little bit. Ginny said she'd come get us."   
  
"Wow. I still can't believe it." Collins shook his head smiling. "And you and Ginny got to be there for the whole thing."   


"Yeah, it was amazing." Mark's huge grin returned. "And Ginny was really incredible too. She actually really knows what she's doing."   
  
"Oh thanks a lot! You unemployed, no talent hack!" Ginny teased Mark, walking up behind him.

Totally ignoring her sarcasm, Maureen jumped in. "Can we see Cass and the baby? Please?"   
  
"Yeah." Ginny smiled. "But she's really tired, so don't stay long. And no loud partying."   
  
They all walked down the hall towards Cass' room. Mark knocked softly on the door as he opened it. Cass was sitting up in the bed holding the baby. Roger was sitting on the edge of the bed talking to her as he held the baby's hand with one finger. "Hey, can we come in?"   
  
Cass looked up from the baby. "Hey." She said tiredly. "Come on in."   
  
"Oh my God he's beautiful Cass." Maureen whispered. 

  
"She's right Cass." Jen said as they crowded around the bed. 

"He's so tiny." Joanne said as she reached out and ran a finger over his little hand. 

"How you doing sweetie?" Collins asked her. 

"I'm tired, really tired."

"I guess over twelve hours of labor will do that to you." Collins laughed.

"Yeah." Roger laughed. "Eight pounds, twelve hours and eleven days late." He looked back down at Cass who smiled at him.

"Is his head gonna stay like that? It's all pointy?" Jason asked. 

"Jason!" Jen smacked him. "Of course his head's a little pointy! He just spent twelve hours getting squeezed through a really tight space." She laughed. "It'll round out in a few days." She gently ran her hand over his head. 

"So what's his name?" Maureen asked. 

Cass looked at Roger and smiled at him. "Go ahead and tell them."   
  
Roger looked up at Mark and grinned. Mark, got excited just from the looked and blurted out "It's Quinton! Right? Just like Tarantino? Like I said?"

"Um, well, no." Roger sort of laughed. 

"But I thought you guys said you were really considering that."   
  
"Um," Roger laughed again. "We lied. Sorry."   
  
"So what is his name?" Joanne asked. 

"Collin Mark Davis." Cass answered her smiling.

"Really?" Maureen asked, wide eyed. 

  
"Uh huh." She nodded sleepily. 

"Wow." Jason said softly looking around the group of friends that for all intensive purposes was a family. 

The door opened and Joanie came in followed by Larry who started talking to Roger. "Sweetie you okay? You look a little pale." She said, taking her pulse. 

Cass nodded. "I'm just really tired."   
  
"Maybe we should go." Joanne said. "We'll come back tomorrow."   
  
"Okay." Cass said, barely keeping her eyes open.

Everyone said their good-byes and went out into the hall to wait for Mark. Larry and Joanie were saying goodbye to Cass. Roger was sitting in the chair yawning. "Hey. I'm gonna take off, unless you want anything. I'm guessing you're gonna stay here tonight."   
  
"Yeah, I guess." He laughed. "But I'm cool. Bring me some clothes tomorrow."   
  
"Yeah. No problem."   
  
"I um, I, Cass said it would be too confusing to call him Mark. I mean having two of you and all. I just wanted you to know that."   
  
"Thanks." Mark blushed. 

"Really Mark. You know I would've never made it this far without you. You and Collins, but especially you." Roger hugged him. 

"You're welcome." He hugged him back. "I'll see you later." He walked over to Cass and the baby. "Sweetie you want anything? Anything from home?"   
  
"Can you get me something to eat? A sandwich? I'm so hungry Mark."   
  
"Yeah I can do that. I'll be back in a little bit. Get some sleep." He kissed her goodbye before leaving. When he got out to the hallway he told them about going for food. They decided Jason would take the girls back to the building. Joanne was going to sleep at Jen's. Collins would go with Mark for food. 

They came back from the restaurant with sandwiches for both Roger and Cass. "Do you feel weird knowing they named the baby after you?" Mark asked. 

"No." Collins smiled. "It's kind of nice. A little like having a kind of legacy."   
  
"Legacy huh?"   
  
"Yes. Something beyond philosophical papers and films. Means you touched someone's life enough that they want their kid to reflect something of you back."   
  
"Yeah I guess." Mark smiled. 

"I knew they were going to make his middle name Mark. Cass said you both couldn't be named Mark, it would be too confusing."   
  
"That's what Roger said." Mark looked down. "Don't say anything, but Cass was really scared of having the baby."   
  
"That's understandable. That whole labor and birth thing."   
  
"No, not that." Mark reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him. "She was afraid she'd hate him, the baby. Afraid everytime she looked at him she'd think of Anton. Roger told me the same thing once. But they never told each other that." Mark paused, looking Collins right in the eye, with that worried look he was infamous for. "Do you think that's possible?"   
  
"I think it's possible for some people, but not them. You saw them. The last thing either of them was thinking about was that bastard Anton."   
  
"I hope you're right."   
  
Mark opened the door to Cass' room. She was asleep, holding the baby. Roger had squeezed onto the hospital bed with her. One arm draped protectively around her and the baby. Mark paused for a second to get the whole scene on film. After a minute or two he turned off the camera. He set the bag of food down on the side table then went over to Cass' bag, digging out Roger's pills he had put in there earlier. Collins stood there silently watching the whole thing as Mark turned back to Roger. 

"Roger. Roger wake up." Mark whispered in his ear. 

"What?"   
  
"Here's your food. And you need to take your pills." He held out the dosage and a can of soda to him. 

"Thanks." He took the pills, still half-asleep, returning his arm around Cass and the baby. "Love you Baby." He mumbled into her hair in his sleep. 

Mark and Collins walked back out to the hall. "I don't think you need to worry about any of that stuff Mark. Any of it." Collins smiled at him as they started home. 

*********************

When Mark got back to the loft, it almost amazed him how quiet it was. No computer humming or printer running. No guitar playing. No Cass and Maureen laughing. No Roger grumbling. Nothing. 

He walked over to the bathroom and got ready for bed. When he opened his bedroom door he found Maureen sitting on his bed in the dark with the TV turned on low. "Hey."   
  
"Hey. I was waiting for you. How are you?"   
  
"Okay." He sat down next to her on the bed. "Today was really wild huh?"   
  
"Yeah." She smiled. "I can't believe they named the baby after you and Collins."   
  
"Yeah. It's a little surreal."   
  
"I mean I understand it."   
  
"You do?"   
  
"Of course." She looked him in the eyes. "I mean you and Collins saved Roger. Especially you. And you and Roger saved Cass. First you, then both of you. But if you hadn't saved Roger the first time," she shrugged her shoulders in the dark, "who knows what would have happened. It took you saving him so the both of you could save her. It's simple."   
  
"Right. Simple." He smiled, trying to hold back a yawn. 

  
"I didn't mean saving them from themselves was simple. I meant understanding why they did it was simple."   
  
"Got it. God I'm so tired."   
  
"Me too. Can I sleep in here tonight?"   
  
"Yeah if you want." He climbed into the bed.  
  
"Did you see Cass and Roger today? They really love each other."   
  
"Uh huh." Mark said sleepily, rolling onto his side away from her. 

"Yeah, they really do." She paused. "So, um, night."   
  
"Yeah. Night Mo." They laid there in the dark for a few minutes. Mark was almost asleep, but something was keeping him awake. He realized it was Maureen and she was crying. "What's wrong?" He rolled over towards her.

"Nothing." She said into the wall. 

"Mo…" He placed his hand on her shoulder for a second. 

"It's just, you know once upon a time you used to look at me like that. The way Roger looks at Cass. Before I went and fucked everything up."   
  
"You didn't exactly fuck up everything…"   
  
"No, just everyone." She said into the wall. 

Mark didn't say anything. He couldn't. There was no answer to that. She was right sort of. He couldn't deny that. He knew it was true. She knew it was true. And she knew that he knew it by his silence, but he couldn't say anything. 

"I just… I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry I screwed everything up. I just miss what we used to have, you know?"   
  
"Yeah I know." He told her rolling onto his back, staring at the ceiling. 

"And now, you can barely stand to touch me!"   
  
"Don't get dramatic." Mark told her with a slight grin he was glad she couldn't see in the dark. Dramatic was one of the things that made Maureen Maureen. It was one of the things he loved about her. He always had. Even if it made him crazy sometimes. "You want a completely honest answer? Okay here it is. Last time around you ripped my heart out and stomped on it." 

"Marky…"   
  
"No let me finish. You hurt me real bad Mo. Real bad. And if we lived normal lives that would have been easier to get over, but we don't. I just, I just don't want to go through all that again."   
  
"I know." She said softly. "Me either."   
  
Mark rolled over, putting an arm around her, tucking a piece of hair off her face and behind her ear. "Mo…" 

"I don't want to go back to that Mark, ever. I just want to be different. I am different now."   
  
"I know you are Mo."   
  
"I still love you you know. I always have. Even when I was with Joanne. I mean I loved her too, but it was different. Not the same as with you. And I loved you the whole time too."   
  
"I know. I loved you too. And I know you're different."   
  
"You do?" She looked up at him. 

"Yes, I do. Really. I really do love you."   
  
Maureen wiped a tear off her face. "Really?"   
  
"Yes. Really." He looked down at her for a second before leaning in and gently kissing her lips.

A/N Don't worry, this isn't the end yet, but we are starting to wind down. There are a few twists yet to happen, but things start to move a little faster and a little differently from here on, so stick with me. And tell me what you think. About the baby thing? And Mark and Maureen? Let me know. Thanks. Kelby

  
  
  
  
  



	86. 86

A/N So I'm guessing everyone is a little happy about Mark and Maureen? Be a shame when they break up in this chapter. Ha, just kidding!

Well, they finally had the baby. It was a long time coming, but it was worth it. Remember I wrote most of this while I was home and pregnant, so believe me I understand the waiting on the baby thing. 

As some of you know, in real life my son, who is 15 months now, and was like one week old when I started posting this, is named Collin. That was something I had decided on in real life and liked it so much that I worked it into my story. And yes, I did base the name and the spelling on the character of Collins. Such is the life of a truly pathetic Renthead. 

Thank you all for sticking with me this far. It's been great. We have a little farther to go, but we are starting to wind down towards the end. And again, pay attention and note the time changes. 

Kelly

To scarlett (scarlett212@hotmail.com) – I didn't really intend it to be the impact that Collins had on Cass' life, more like just Roger's. And that is supposed to be implied throughout and based on previous knowledge of the story line. The conversation between Mark and Maureen explains it in little more detail. How Mark and Collins saved Roger so Roger and Mark could save Cass. But if the first didn't happen, the second could never have happened. Plus I didn't want the baby to have the first name Mark.

Chapter 86

"Hey Baby." Roger grinned, opening the door to Cass' room. 

"Hey." She smiled up at him from the baby.

"Hey Collin. Hey buddy." He ran a hand over the baby's fuzzy head as he sat on the edge of the bed next to her. "How are you?" He kissed her. 

"Tired still. He eats like every three hours. Plus nurses and people coming and going. So I keep waking up. I'll be happy to go home."   
  
"Yeah." Roger grinned, kissing her again. "I'll be happy when you come home too. How is he doing?"   
  
"He's perfect." She grinned down at the baby. "Except he bites."   
  
"He bites? He doesn't have any teeth." Roger laughed. 

"It doesn't matter. He still bites and it still hurts."   
  
"Sorry." He put his hands under the sleeping baby, sliding him into his arms. "Hey buddy. Stop biting your Mommy. That's my job." 

"Roger!" She laughed. "Behave. Besides your mom said it shouldn't hurt as much in a few days."   
  
"When did you talk to my mom?" He asked, never looking up from the baby."   
  
"This morning. She and your Aunt Cathy came up to see him." 

"I didn't know she was coming back today."   
  
"Uh huh. She said she would come out and stay Monday and Tuesday with us if we wanted. She figured we'd have plenty of help over the weekend and may need a little help once everyone goes back to work. I sort of jumped at the chance of having your mother come over. Considering she and Ginny are the only ones who have any clue what they're doing. Is that okay? You're not mad are you?"   
  
"No." He looked up at her. "It might be a good idea. Did Mark come by?"   
  
"Yes. I heard you scared him half to death this morning."   
  
Roger grinned. "Yeah he didn't realize I'd come home this morning. Actually it was pretty funny."   
  
"Did you talk to him?"   
  
"Not really. Why?"   
  
"Mo came by before work. Acting all goofy and stuff. It took some prodding but I finally got it out of her."   
  
"What?" 

"Let's just say I think they worked out some of the issues in their relationship."   
  
Roger just looked at her for a second. "Oh God! They did it didn't they?"   
  
"Don't be crude!" She laughed. "Don't listen to your daddy." She told the baby who had woken up and was starting to cry for his next meal. "At least when he's being crude. The rest of the time he's brilliant."   
  
"Yeah right." He laughed. "Your mommy's the brilliant one, I was just lucky. Real lucky." He kissed him on the head before handing him back to Cass. 

****************

"Oh don't cry. Please, please, don't cry. Please."   
  
"Um, Mark? Begging may work with Mo," Jason laughed, "but I don't think it works with babies."   
  
"Oh this from the guy who was singing Jingle Bells to him earlier." Collins laughed. 

"It was the only thing I could remember all the words to at the time." He grinned. 

"Where's your sister?"   
  
"I don't know. It's not like she knows what she's doing any better than we do." Jason told him. "Where's Cass and Roger anyway? Or Mo?"   
  
"Mo's at work and they're sleeping. For some stupid reason they thought the three of us would be able to handle just watching him for a couple of hours while they slept." Mark rocked the bassinet that Alison and supposedly Benny hand sent them in an effort to quiet the baby. 

"Maybe he's hungry." Collins told them. 

"He can't be hungry, Cass just fed him. Besides even if he was hungry, it's not like there's anything any of us could do about it." He shook his head. "Get the door." He told Jason as someone started knocking. 

  
Jason walked over and opened the door. "Hi!" Molly said walking in, followed by Mrs. Cohen. 

  
"Molly? Mom! What are you doing here?"   
  
"Is that lasagna?" Collins asked, sniffing. 

"Hello Sweetie. Hello Tom." She said handing Collins the two large pans of lasagna as they walked in. "Molly wanted to see the baby and I figured you could use some food."   
  
"Oh he's so cute!" Molly exclaimed. 

"I never thought I'd say this," Mark whispered to himself, "but I'm really glad to see you Mom. He won't stop crying and Cass and Roger are asleep and we don't' know what we're doing. Oh and thanks for the lasagna."   
  
"Oh he is beautiful. Could he be hungry?"   
  
"No he just ate. Maybe he's sick."   
  
"Maybe he just wants to be picked up." She lifted him out of the bassinet. "Did he burp?"   
  
"I don't know!" Mark said exasperated. 

Mrs. Cohen started to pat him on the back as he let out a burp that seemed way to loud for something his size. 

"Oh yeah, he's definitely Roger's kid." Jason laughed. 

Collins shook his head. "Um, Mrs. Cohen this is Jason, my boyfriend."   
  
"That's better right sweetie? Your tummy feel better." She asked Collin before looking up at Collins and Jason. "Nice to meet you. How are you doing Tom?"   
  
"Okay. Still teaching."   
  
"Let me hold him!" Molly said taking the baby from her mother. "He smells so good. I still can't believe they named him after you two dorks." The baby quieted down and settled in, going to sleep in her arms. "See Mark. It's not hard. When they cry you just either feed them, change them or pick them up." 

"Good. If it's that simple than you need to stick around till Cass wakes up, in case he needs changing." 

"Oh please!" Molly shook her head, as she set Collin back in the bassinet before walking into the kitchen to join Collins and Jason. 

  
"Oh Mark!" Mrs. Cohen laughed. "It's not that bad!" She looked into the bassinet, adjusting the blanket over him. The sat there for awhile making small talk. About his latest film project. Molly's graduation. Her 18th birthday party in August. And Cindy's new house. When they made it all the way around to his aunt's gallbladder surgery, Mark had to ask.

"Um, Mom? Why exactly are you here anyway? You never come here. You hate driving into the city. And you really hate the Village."   
  
"I told you, I figured you could use some food and Molly wanted to see the baby. So did I. Plus we brought down the baby gifts."   
  
"You brought baby gifts? You understand this is Roger's kid right?"   
  
"Oh for God sake Mark! I'm not a monster! I mean I've known Roger almost his entire life. It's not like I hate him or anything. Really Mark! And besides, if the only way I get grandchildren from you is via Roger, I'll take what I can get."   
  
"Really?"   
  
"Yes really. You know Mark I always really liked Roger. He was a good kid. I always felt bad about all the problems he had. And the drugs scared the crap out of me. The way you worshipped the ground he walked on scared me half to death too. But he's different now. I know that. I know you had a lot to do with that to. I'm proud of you for that."   
  
"You are?" Mark asked amazed. 

She looked at him surprised. "Of course I'm proud of you. I've always been proud of you, but especially for that. I mean you don't have the best track record for sticking with some things. Working with your father. College. Some of your films. That Buzzline job. Relationships. But you always stuck with Roger. No matter what. You never let him down. Him or any of your friends, but especially him. That's why I wasn't surprised when you told me what they named him. That's why I'm proud of you."   
  
"Wow. I never knew that."   
  
"I'm sorry." She looked down at the baby, adjusting the blanket again as he stirred in his sleep. "You should have known that. I should have told you. We should have told you. I'm sorry."   
  
"We?" Mark said sarcastically. 

"Yes we. You know your father feels the same way. Really he does, even if he doesn't admit it. He knows about yours and Roger's relationship. He doesn't understand it, but he's proud of the way you stuck by him. We both are."   
  
"I… thanks Mom. Really." He could feel his face getting hot. 

  
"You're welcome." She smiled at him, picking up the baby, holding him tight. "I love that baby smell." She smiled. "I miss it. Not all of it. The getting up at all hours of the night for feedings and changings. That fear of not knowing what I'm doing. All that. That's why I'm ready to be the grandma. All the good stuff and a lot less of the worry. Which by the way gets excessive when they're in high school and never really ends. Even when they're your age."   
  
"Great. I'm really looking forward to this now." Mark laughed. 

"You guys will do fine. All of you." She smiled. 

Just then the bedroom door opened and Roger came out yawning. "Hey. Hey Mrs. Cohen. What are you doing here?"   
  
"Molly and I wanted to see the baby. He's beautiful Roger. Really."   
  
"Thanks." He grinned, walking into the kitchen where he started talking to Molly and the guys. 

"Well we should get going." She said standing up and setting the baby back into the bassinet. "As sweet as he is, with all of you falling all over him, that baby's gonna get spoiled." She smiled down at him. "But maybe that's okay." 

Later that night, Roger was sitting on the couch playing his guitar while the baby was sleeping next to his leg on the couch. 

"Cass sleeping again?" Mark asked, sitting down handing Roger a beer. 

"No, she did some stuff on the computer then went to take a shower. Where's Mo?" 

"She went down to Jen's for something."   
  
Roger nodded, picking out cords on his guitar. "So what's going on with you and Mo?"   
  
"I don't know." He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I guess we're sort of trying it again."   
  
Roger never looked up, he just kept focusing on his guitar. "Good."   
  
"Good? Did you just say 'good'? Were you even listening to me?"   
  
Roger grinned but still didn't look up. "I heard you. You said you and Mo were going out again. And I said good."   
  
"I'm sorry. I thought you were my roommate, but I must be mistaken. Mark Cohen, nice to met you." He held out his hand with a stupid grin on his face. 

Finally Roger stopped playing the guitar and looked at him. "I said good. It's good for you and her. You guys are meant to be together."   
  
"We'll see." Mark said, putting his feet up on the table in front of him. 

Roger played for a few more minutes before he spoke again. "I heard your mom today." Roger told him, not looking up from his fingers on the strings. 

"How much?"   
  
"All the important stuff."   
  
"Oh…"

"She was right you know. You never let me down. Ever."   
  
"Yeah, well…" 

"Ever. Thanks Mark. Really."   
  
"Yeah, yeah." Mark blushed. "Don't go getting all mushy on me." He stood up and started walking towards the kitchen. "You go almost six months barely saying a word. You spend years being a disconnected emotional hermit and now you have one kid and suddenly your mister sensitive and emotional. Geeze! And I thought Cass was the hormonally unbalanced one." He laughed. 

"Bite me Cohen!" Roger laughed at him, still playing the guitar as Mark walked away towards his room laughing.

***************

"Oww, oww, oww."   
  
"Here put another pillow under him to raise him up." Joanie helped her prop the baby up more. "If you get a better angle it shouldn't hurt as much."   
  
"Oww. Thanks." She yawned. 

  
"Sweetie take a nap after this. I'll watch him. You guys get some rest. You look beat." She went back to folding the laundry she had in the basket. 

  
"Mom you want a soda?"   
  
"Sure."   
  
Roger brought her a soda and sat down next to Cass, watching the baby nurse.   
  
"Joanie you don't have to do that."   
  
"I don't mind. I hear a washer and drying in your apartment in the city is a luxury."   
  
"Yeah." Roger laughed. "It's a good thing too. That's just since last Friday. You make a lot of laundry don't you?" Roger said to the baby. "You and your Aunt Mo."   
  
Cass laughed at Roger letting Collin wrap his little hand around her finger while the other one flailed around. 

"Oww. How can you have such sharp little nails and only be five days old?" She rubbed at her chest where he scratched her. 

"It doesn't take long. Do you have nail clippers?"

"Yes." She turned to Roger. "They're in the drawer in our bathroom. I put them in one of those amber prescription bottles so they'd be easy to find, they're so little."   
  
"Okay." He stood up and started towards the bedroom when the phone rang. "Hello?" He grinned. "Hey Izzy."   
  
"I'll get them." Joanie said, standing up with the laundry basket. 

  
"Thanks Joanie." Suddenly as Joanie stepped into their bedroom a realization ran though her mind. "Roger!" 

The fear and urgency in her voice made Roger look up. "Iz I gotta go." He hung up the phone not waiting for an answer. "What's wrong? What's the matter?" He rushed to the couch. 

  
"Your mom! She went to get he nail clippers!"  
  
"So?"   
  
"They're in the drawer!" She was almost crying. "The drawer in the bathroom! I'm sorry Roger. I'm so sorry."   
  
"Shhh. It's okay Baby." He brushed a tear off her cheek as he stood up and walked into their room. "Mom?"

Joanie was just standing in the bathroom holding the amber pill vial. Just staring at it. Almost frozen except for the silent tears that ran down her cheeks. 

"Mom." He reached out grabbing her shoulder with one hand and taking the pills with the other. "Mom." He said again softly. 

"Oh God Roger." The hoarse voice barely making it out of her throat. 

  
"It's okay Mom." He hugged her close. "It's okay."   
  
"Oh God Roger. Why didn't you tell me?"   
  
He moved her over and sat them on the bed. "What was I gonna say? 'Oh by the way, on top of being a junkie I got AIDS too'?"

"How could you not of told me? Damn it! It's not fair! I just got you back!" She broke down crying. 

He hugged her again. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Mom. I should have told you. I know I should have. Mark's been trying to get me to tell you for a long time."   
  
"How long?"   
  
"A long time. A little over five years."   
  
She looked up at him. "Five years. You've been HIV positive for five years." She shook her head, running her hands though her hair. "Oh God, that's when your girlfriend killed herself. And when you got clean. That's why isn't it?"   
  
He let out a long sigh. "Yeah. That's why April killed herself and that's how I ended up getting clean. But if I didn't come up positive then," he shook his head, "I never would have gotten clean. And then I'd either be dead by now or positive anyway." 

"I should have known." She wiped at her face. "I should have known! I'm a nurse damn it! I'm a nurse and you were a junkie and I should have known! I should have done more to get you cleaned up. To get you off drugs." She was sobbing through her words, hardly able to breathe as she clung to him. 

"Mom you couldn't have done anything. I wasn't gonna quit till I was ready to quit. There's nothing you could have done. Nothing that would have changed anything. Nothing. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But it's the truth, you knowing wouldn't have changed anything." He hugged her close.

"But you're okay now? What does you doctor say?"   
  
"He says I'm fine. And he's a good doctor. In a real office, not just the clinic any more. I got real good insurance through Cass. As a matter a fact the doctor cut my dosage down from where it was when I was at the clinic. So yeah, I'm okay. I'm gonna die someday, but not today okay?"   
  
He held her for a few minutes as she sobbed. Out in the living room they could hear the baby fussing. "Oh God Roger! If you… then Cass? And the baby! Oh God!"   
  
"No mom listen. Cass and Collin are fine. Okay. They're fine."   
  
"But…"   
  
"Roger…" Cass said softly from the open doorway. He looked up to see her holding the baby. "We're going to go lay down in Mark's room. You need to tell her. You need to tell her everything."   
  
"Cass…"   
  
She looked down at the baby. "She needs to know. It's better if she knows now instead of later. You need to tell her. All of it."   
  
Silently he nodded his head as she turned and walked to Mark's room. 

"What else?"   
  
"It's a long story Mom. A long story." And he told her. He told her about April. And about Mimi. And about Mimi dying and how once again he all but shut down. Then Cass showed up on Labor Day weekend. His Cass. His beautiful, wonderful Cass. All beaten, bruised and broken, but still beautiful. He told her how he fell in love with her and he told her about what happened in Italy. What Anton did to her. That Anton was really Collin's father, not him. Roger realized out of all of it, that was the hardest part to say aloud. That Anton was really Collin's father. He had almost forgotten it himself. But there it was, laid out there. In Roger's mind that fact ruined more things than the entire world finding out he was HIV positive. 

"So that's it." He sighed again. "That's everything. I'm sorry Mom. I'm really sorry."   
  
"So am I Sweetie. So am I." She took a deep shuttering breath. "But I guess I'm relieved to know. Somewhere in the back of my mind I guess I always knew it was possible. Probable. I'd rather have you back and know now then get a phone call from Mark out of the blue telling me you were dead. I already had enough fears about that one."   
  
"I know. I'm sorry."   
  
Joanie took another deep breath. "Okay. Enough sorry's. It won't change anything. I'm just glad I've got you back." She hugged him tight. "And right now, you're doing fine. And Cass is fine. And my grandson is fine. That's the important thing right now." She tried to smile. 

Roger realized what she said. Her grandson. After all that. After what he just told her, about himself and Cass, it didn't change anything. She still loved him. And Cass. And she still loved his son. Her grandson.


	87. 87

Chapter 87

"Tell me again why we're doing this."   
  
"Because I'm your best friend and my little sister wanted a band at her birthday party. And because you work cheap." Mark laughed. 

"Oh great. Don't tell Izzy that part."   
  
"I don't know, for some weird reason she wanted you guys." Mark shrugged, setting down the amp in the driveway. 

"Oh don't you two get it?" Cass laughed, setting the baby down in his stroller. "She just graduated high school. All her friends will be here. It's the last hurrah before they leave for college. Plus, her sort of famous film maker brother, knows a famous guitar player who has a New York City band that will play her birthday party. How many Scarsdale High graduates can say that?" She laughed again. 

"Hey! Why is he famous and I'm only sort of famous?" Mark protested. 

"Oh Pookie!" Maureen laughed. "Because Roger's in a band, which means more at eighteen. Plus you make documentaries, not movies with Tom Cruise or Joey Fatone. Make movies with people like them and then the little girls will consider you famous too!" She kissed him on the cheek. 

"Maureen I've told you about the 'Pookie' thing!" He protested as she and Cass laughed. 

"Okay. Come on and help me finish setting up the equipment. Pookie!" Roger grinned walking away. 

"Oh very funny!" Mark yelled at Roger, following him down the driveway. "If that kid starts calling me 'Pookie' when he starts talking you guys are all in trouble!" Cass and Mo were still laughing at that as Molly and some of her friends came out of the house to set up for the party.

As Molly's 18th birthday party got into full swing everyone had shown up. Molly spent so much time in the city over the summer, Jennifer, Jason and Collins had come up for the party. Shelly and Patrick as well as Joanie and Larry had come to hear Roger play. By then the baby had made the rounds of just about everyone. 

Mark's mom held the baby. "I can't believe he can sleep through all this." She laughed. 

"Well he's been hearing it for the entire nine months before he was born." Joanie told her. "Actually Cass says that whenever he gets fussy, if Roger plays it settles him right down."   
  
"Well that's good." She smiled down at him. "How old is he now?" 

"Almost two and a half months." Joanie grinned putting his pacifier in his mouth.   
  
Mrs. Cohen sighed. "When did we get this old Joanie?"   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"I mean old enough to have kids this old. Kids old enough to have kids. I mean Cindy was one thing, but I always thought of Mark and Roger as so much younger than her."   
  
"Oh Kitty!" Joanie laughed. "We're not that old!" She looked down at the baby, running a hand over his dirty blonde hair. 

She sighed. "I guess not. It just feels that way right now. Molly leaving for school. Roger having a baby. I just feel old."   
  
"What you feel is an empty nest. Been there. You'll survive. Plus you've still got Cindy's kids. And Molly's only in the city."   
  
"So was Mark. And it took Roger coming back to see you for Mark to come home."   
  
"Well it'll be different with Molly. Girls are different."

"I'm just glad she is only going to the city, not across the country or anything. That and we talked her out of a summer session. That's where it all started with Mark." Kitty shook her head.

"I remember."   
  
"I never thought I'd say it, but I'm also glad she's going to live with them."   
  
Joanie just laughed. "Well their apartment has definitely improved over the years."   
  
"True." Kitty laughed. "But I don't buy that nanny story for a minute. That girl wants to live in New York and she figures telling me she'll be Roger and Cass' nanny I wouldn't put up a fight. Like I believe for one minute that she'll be home with that baby while they go out! With that crew I bet she's got a fake ID within two weeks of moving in."   
  
Joanie laughed again. "Yes, it's amazing that no matter how old they do get, they still think we're dumb as a doorstop and they can pull stuff over on their mothers! Just wait! One of these days, they'll all get theirs!" Joanie smiled, looking down at the baby. 

They were both laughing still when Mark came over. "Mom, Cindy needs you. She's in the kitchen."   
  
"Okay." Kitty got up and walked into the house as Mark picked up the baby who was waking up. 

  
"Hey Buddy. How you doing?"   
  
"Mark you've been avoiding me." Joanie told him. 

"Um, no I haven't."   
  
"Yes you have. Why?"   
  
He sat down, still playing with the baby. "I figured you'd be pretty mad at me." He told her, looking down at the baby. 

Joanie leaned in towards him. "Why in the world would I be mad at you?"   
  
"You know, cause of Roger." He shrugged. 

"Roger?"   
  
He sighed. "Now that you know about Roger. I figured you'd be mad at me because I let him get so messed up back then."   
  
"Oh Mark! I could never be mad at you."   
  
"But…"   
  
"Look, in the last two months I've gone through a variety of emotions, guilt and blame. I blamed myself, Jack and Roger. I blamed the bands, I blamed the girlfriends. I managed to blame Patrick and Mickey. I even managed to blame my father for buying him his first damn guitar. But Mark, in all that, sweetie I never blamed you. I was grateful for you. I always have been. You've always been there for him. When there was no one else." She took a deep breath. "You don't have any blame Mark. All you did was help him and take care of him. There was no way you could have stopped any of it. Roger told me that himself. He wasn't going to quit till he was ready. Luckily when he was ready, you were still there."   
  
"I know. I just wish it was different."   
  
"So do I, but it's not. But I don't blame you. Mark I love you just like you were one of my own. You got that?" She hugged him tight. 

"Yeah." He smiled, still holding Collin. "I got it."   
  
By then Roger and Izzy had taken a break and he was walking over with Patrick. "Hey. What's going on?"   
  
"Nothing." Mark smiled at Joanie. "We were just talking. But it's a good thing you're here."   
  
"Yeah? Why?" He took the baby from him, holding him up. "You giving your Uncle Mark a hard time? Huh?" He tickled Collin's feet.

"Not really. But he needs to be changed." Mark laughed. 

  
"Oh thanks. God you make somebody a godfather you think the least they could do would be change a diaper."   
  
"Oh give me a break you pain in the ass. Fine. Give him to me." Mark laughed as he took the baby and the diaper bag and headed towards the house. 

"Speaking of that, I want everyone on time and well dressed for the baptism tomorrow. Patrick, you're in charge of Mickey."   
  
"What's that mean? Make sure he's got on a tie, pants and shoes on the right feet?" He laughed. 

"Something like that." She told him. "Just do whatever Shelly tells you."   
  
"I gotta wear a tie?" Roger asked, shocked. 

"You are his father Roger, so yes, you have to wear a tie." She told him as if he was twelve again. "Besides I went through too much to set this whole christening up."   
  
"What do you mean." Roger asked as Patrick started laughing. 

"Do you even remember Father Logan?" Patrick kept laughing. 

"Let's just say he's rather set in his ways." Joanie explained. 

"'Set in his ways'? He's frigging ancient." He was cracking up so hard he was making Joanie laugh. 

  
"Patrick behave! All I'm saying is setting everything up with Father Logan was a little difficult."   


"Why?" Roger asked, completely confused. 

"Okay. He's not the most open-minded person. First I had to get him past the fact of why you wanted to do it here and not at _your_ parish in the city."   
  
"Oh that's a good one." Patrick laughed. 

"Then there was the issue of the godparents. Mark being Jewish and Collins being gay and a Baptist. Though I'm still not sure which of those two facts is a bigger issue for him, the gay or Baptist part."   
  
"So how did you convince him to do it?" Roger asked. 

"I called your grandmother. She invited him over for dinner and made his favorite dish, and his favorite dessert. Then they had Irish whiskey and coffee while listening to big band music and discussing the good old days. As well as her grandsons. And great grandson. Problem solved. Everyone behave tomorrow." Joanie smiled. 

"Oh my God." Patrick said, amazed. "You pimped out Grandma for a christening." 

  
"Patrick!" 

"Oh that's bad Mom." Roger shook his head. "You pimped out Grandma to a priest." 

"First of all stop using that word. Secondly, your grandmother was please to help set everything up." 

"Oh I don't want to hear anymore." Patrick laughed as Mark came back handing the baby to Joanie. 

  
"Ewww." Roger made a face. "Grandma and a priest. That's an image I could live without."   
  
"Roger!" Joanie yelled at him laughing. 

"What's going on?" Mark asked.  
  
"Oh you don't want to know." Patrick kept laughing as he walked away, shaking his head. 

"I wish I didn't know." Roger said, still making a face. "Oh man is it gonna be hard not to laugh tomorrow."   
  
"Just behave tomorrow. All of you!"   
  
"Yeah, yeah. We'll behave, but it's gonna be hard." He grinned. "Real hard. Cause that's just bad Mom!"   
  
"Oh…" She made a face at him, still trying not to laugh. 

"You know what? Give me my kid." He teased her, taking Collin. "Before you corrupt him too."   
  
Mark still looked confused but decided to join in. "Yeah, god forbid he get corrupted by his grandmother. That's our job. Right Rog?" 

"Yup. Completely." He laughed, walking away with the baby to find Cass.

***************

"Roger?" Larry stuck his head in the bedroom door. "Are you guys ready? Your mom and aunt are making me crazy." 

"Yeah we're coming. Just give her a few more minutes."   
  
"He's almost done." Cass told Roger, looking up from the baby as he nursed. 

Roger plopped down on the bed next to her, running a hand up her leg. "Hey Baby, how you doing?"   
  
"Okay. You okay with this today?"   
  
"Yeah." He grinned. "Most of it. My mom's like thrilled beyond belief. Remind me to tell you later what she made my grandma do."   
  
"What do you mean 'most of it'." 

"Well all of it," he smiled, "except for the tie part. And the dress."   
  
"First of all, I kind of like you in a tie." She smiled at him. "It's an interesting change of pace. And secondly, it's not a dress, it's a christening outfit."   
  
"It's a dress."   
  
"Fine it's a dress. But it's the same dress you, Patrick and Mickey wore."   
  
"I never wore a dress." He told her, tickling Collin's feet. 

"Okay then we agree it's a christening outfit not a dress." She laughed. "Don't do that, he stops eating and he needs to finish."   
  
"Sorry." He stopped playing with Collin's feet. "So, ah what are the chances I can get in on some of that action later tonight?" He gave her an evil grin as he wriggled his eyebrows at her. 

"Roger!" Cass smirked. 

"Hey you can't knock a guy for trying."   
  
"Yes well, we'll see." She returned the evil grin and set the baby on the bed next to him. "Let me finish getting dressed so we can go. And do up that tie!" She teased him. 

"Okay." He leaned over and kissed her, pulling her close and letting it deepen before letting her go. "We'll met you downstairs."   
  
"Okay. Love you Babe." She smiled at him as he picked up the baby and headed downstairs. 

"Are you guys ready?" Cathy asked him, taking the baby. 

  
"Yeah, Cass is finishing up."   
  
"I can't believe you're letting them put him in a dress." Patrick told Roger.

"It's not a dress." Joanie corrected him. "It's your christening outfit and we're not putting it on him till right before it starts."   
  
"It's a dress. Where's Mark?"   
  
"I'm right here." He told him coming up from the basement, followed by Maureen. "Come here and I'll fix it." Without saying anything Roger walked over to Mark who started to fix his tie. "You know, someday, you really need to learn how to do this yourself." 

"No I don't, that's what I've got you for."   
  
Meanwhile Maureen picked up the christening outfit as the others walked into the room. "Oh that is such a pretty little dress." 

"My mom made if for the boys." Cathy told her. "She made a second one so the twins could wear them too."   
  
"Did Roger really wear that?" Maureen asked, smoothing out the silk. 

"Uh huh. Patrick and Mickey too." Joanie added. 

"Mom! Don't tell people I wore a dress!" Mickey yelled to her. 

"Oh Mickey. For goodness sake, it's not a dress!"

  
"Yeah Mom, don't tell people you put that dress on me either." Patrick added. 

"Me either." Roger told her as Mark finished up his tie. 

"Fine! Whatever. God you three are difficult! But all three of you wore it, it is a dress and you all looked so cute and adorable in it."   
  
"Mom!" All three of them yelled at her. 

"Well you did. Sweet, cute and adorable. Just like Collin will." Joanie smiled at them as she ran her hand over Collin's hair as Cathy held him.   
  



	88. 88

A/N Just a short little chapter. Don't forget to watch for subtle time passages. And quick reminder – Krystal is Izzy's girlfriend, Leslie lives downstairs and Molly is Mark's little sister.

Chapter 88

"I'm home."   
  
"Hey Baby." Cass called from the kitchen table they bought when they baby got big enough for his high chair. 

"Hey." He kissed her as Collin banged on his tray and laughed at Roger. "Ewww, you're a mess!" He laughed at the baby.

"Please! He's got food in his hair and everywhere." She laughed, putting another spoonful of green baby food into Collin's mouth as he spit part of it back out. "Now stop that." She fussed at him as he started laughing and smacking his hands in the food on his tray. 

Roger started laughing at both of them as Cass wiped the splatter off her own face. "You were the one that was all excited about him eating real food."   
  
"Oh shut up." She laughed. "And stop laughing at him. It's not funny." She told him still laughing. 

"Here. Let me do it." Roger told her, taking the dish of food. "You're a mess buddy!"   
  
"Did you get Izzy and Krystal all moved?"   
  
"Yeah. The big stuff at least from Krystal's old place. Most of the stuff at Izzy's she's making him toss." He laughed, giving Collin a spoonful of food. 

"I've seen Izzy's stuff. Most of it shouldn't be just tossed, it should be burned." Cass laughed. "How's Krystal?" 

"She's okay." He scoped up a spoonful of food off Collin's chin. "She says she was no where near as sick as you were."   
  
"How's their new place?"   
  
"Okay." He shrugged. "Decent sized. I don't know why they didn't move in together before." 

"Krystal said if she moved in with Izzy she'd never get him to marry her. As it was it took almost ten years."   
  
"Yeah." Roger laughed. "Ten years, him knocking her up and a trip to Las Vegas to finally get married." He kept laughing. 

"You're terrible!" She laughed at him as the phone started to ring. "Hello? Hi Sweetie. Yes he's right here." She handed the phone to Roger. "It's Mark."   
  
"What's up?"   
  
"Nothing. How's the kid?" He asked, hearing Collin laughing in the background. 

"Sticky. And covered in green goo."   
  
"Um, lovely. Are we still going out tonight?"   
  
"Hang on." He shifted the phone. "Cass are we still going out tonight?"   
  
"Yes, eventually. After I get a shower. And he gets a bath."   
  
"She said yes. Why?"   
  
"There's this film, at the little independent theatre." 

"And you want to go see it?"   
  
"Well, yeah, sort of."   
  
"As long as there's no subtitles. And we go someplace after."   
  
"Yeah, yeah, no subtitles. And we'll get you a beer afterward."   
  
"Yeah, fine. I don't care."   
  
"Cool. See the guy that wrote this one, is looking for a new director for his next film and I've got a meeting with him next week."   
  
Roger could hear the excitement in Mark's voice. He hadn't been this excited over a film project in a long time. "That's great. What do you think your chances are?"   
  
"I don't know. I don't know how many people he's meeting with."   
  
"You'll get it." He smiled at the baby as he fed him more food, scraping the extra off his chin with the spoon. "Are you coming home?"   
  
"I need to pick up Mo first on my way home. You want me to pick up a pizza?"   
  
"Yes. Get meat on half."   
  
"Definitely. Those two and their veggie tofu pizzas." He said in mock disgust. "Half meat. No problem. I'll see you later."   
  
Roger hung up the phone and finished feeding the baby. When he was done he picked him up and walked into their bedroom. 

"Did he eat everything?" Cass asked, wrapping her hair in a towel as she got out of the shower.

"Everything he didn't wear." He grinned. "He needs a bath."   
  
"Trust me, I know." She smiled, turning on the water to fill the tub. "What did Mark say?"   
  
"He's gonna bring home a pizza." He stripped off Collin's clothes and diaper, setting him in the tub. "He wants to go see some independent movie. He's got a meeting with the guy who made it next week. He's looking for a director." He told her sitting down on the floor next to the tub. 

"That's great!" She dried her hair with the towel. 

"Yeah. I think he's real excited. That's got to mean he's got a good shot at it. He hasn't been real excited about a film project in months."   
  
"I know. I hope he gets this, he needs it."   
  
Roger let the baby play in the water for a few minutes, splashing at him to make him laugh. "You think he's okay?"   
  
"Mark?"   
  
"Uh huh. Hand me the shampoo."   
  
Cass handed him the baby shampoo and watched him soap up Collin before pouring water over his head. "He just needs to get somewhere. I think he feels like, maybe like he's swimming."   
  
"Swimming?" He lifted Collin out of the tub and wrapped him in a towel. 

"Uh huh. I mean think about it. For so long he was swimming, treading water, but just on the edge of drowning, actually slipping under. Well, he's come a long way, but he's still only treading water, not moving forward, stuck in the same place."   
  
"I really hope he gets this." Roger said setting the baby and the towel down on the bed. 

"Me too." She sat down behind him, wrapping her arms around his chest and resting her chin on his shoulder. "Me too." She watched Collin play for a minute. "He needs clothes."   
  
"He likes it naked."   
  
"Shocking." She grinned at him. "But if you don't at least put a diaper on him, make sure he stays on your side of the bed."   
  
"Oh right." He laughed, getting up for a diaper and putting it on Collin. "Is Molly babysitting him tonight?"   
  
"Um, no." Cass pulled his pajamas over his head. "She's sort of got a date tonight."   
  
"With who?" He laid back on the bed, letting Collin sit on his stomach. 

  
"Scott." She told him hesitantly. 

  
"My drummer! Are you nuts?" He sat up, moving the baby to the bed next to him. "He's, he's, well a drummer!"   
  
"And you're a guitar player." She smiled. 

"That's different."   
  
"No it's not."   
  
"Does Mark know?"   
  
"No. And we aren't going to be the ones to tell him either."   
  
"You realize this is not a good idea."   
  
"It's fine. Don't worry."   
  
"Don't worry? Do you know what drummers are like? I'd never let my kid sister date a drummer."   
  
"You don't have a sister."   
  
"Molly's close enough."   
  
"What's so bad about drummers?"   
  
"You just never date a drummer." He gave her a mischievous grin. "I'll have to talk to him."   
  
"You're so cute, all overprotective and stuff. Just don't scare him off."   
  
"I suppose." He reached over and grabbed his acoustic guitar from the corner and started picking out tunes. Collin stopped playing on the bed and immediately crawled over to Roger, reaching out for the strings. 

"He's really starting to get around fast."   
  
"Very fast." Cass told him. "And he's pulling up on everything. We need to remind everybody not to leave anything out they don't want him getting into."   
  
Roger laughed as Collin pulled on a string then sat back and laughed when it made a sound. "So who is babysitting him?"   
  
"Leslie."   
  
"Okay. Right buddy? You like Leslie?" He picked out a few more cords for him and let him pull at the strings for awhile longer while Cass finished getting dressed. Eventually they heard the front door open. 

  
"We're home. With pizza." Mark called to them. 

"Remember, no mentioning drummers!" Cass whispered as she grinned at him. "And no sleeping through Mark's movie."   
  
"Oh you just want it all tonight don't you?" He grinned back at her. 

  
"Maybe." She grinned. "Just maybe." She leaned over and kissed him. 


	89. 89

A/N Okay, this is a very short chapter, but I'm trying to show the passage of time as well as how their lives have grown and changed over the years. Some of the future chapter will be short (usually not this short) and some will be longer. It just depends on what is going on in their lives at that point. Just wanted to let you all know that.

  
Chapter 89

"Mark. Mark wake up."   
  
"Whatsamatter?" He mumbled, reaching over Maureen for his glasses. 

"Roger's not home yet."   
  
"What time is it?"   
  
"A little after six. He should have been home by three. Three thirty at the latest."   
  
Mark climbed out of the bed. "What's going on?" Maureen asked sitting up. 

"Roger's not home. Go back to sleep." He kissed her forehead as she lay back down. 

Mark followed Cass out to the kitchen. "Did you call him?"   
  
"Yes. I called the bar and his cell phone. A number of times and there's no answer."   
  
Maureen came out of the bedroom. "What do you mean he's not home yet? He should have been home a while ago." She said alarmed. 

"I don't know where he is." Cass told her. 

Mark could hear the fear in her voice. Three hours late for Roger wasn't that big of a deal. At least in the old days. Back then he had waited way more than just three hours for Roger to come home. Sometimes three days. But not now. Ever since Cass had gotten to New York, Roger had pretty much come home, on time. Especially the last two years since Collin was born. "He's probably passed out in the back office with Izzy." Cass and Maureen just looked at him. A pleading look on Cass' face. "Of course I suppose I could get dressed and go down there." He told them reluctantly. 

"Would you?"   
  
"I'll go get dressed. You keep calling him." Mark walked back into his room and got dressed. When he came out Cass was hanging up the phone again. "I don't suppose we have any idea where the spare key to the bar is?"   
  
"Um, maybe. I think it's in one of the drawers." She started digging in one while Maureen looked in the other. 

"Is this is?" Maureen asked. 

Mark looked up. "No I think that's the old front door key."   
  
"What about this one?"   
  
"No that's Angel's old apartment." Mark told Cass, pulling on his shoes. 

"God this is my old apartment before I moved in here the first time." Maureen said, still digging in the drawer. "And this was Benny's parent's house. We really need to clean this stuff out. 

"This is it." Cass closed the drawer and handed Mark the key.  
  
"Okay, give me my phone, I'll call you when I get there." He pulled on his jacket. 

"Where the hell are you going this early?"   
  
"Roger!" Maureen yelled. 

"Where have you been? I thought you were dead in an ally someplace!"   
  
"What are you talking about?" He yawned. 

"You should have been home three hours ago!"   
  
"I was." He yawned again. "I guess I fell asleep in Collin's room."   
  
"You've been home the whole time?" Mark asked, starting to laugh. 

"Yeah. I got home around 3:30. I was hungry so I got something to eat. I guess Collin heard me or something. He started crying so I went in to see what was wrong and to get him to lie back down. He wanted to come into our bed. I was trying to keep him from walking you up." He told Cass. 

  
"So where have you been for the last three hours?" Maureen asked him, hands on her hips. 

"Well he wouldn't lay down at first. Then he gave me the pouty face with the puppy dog eyes to lay down with him."   
  
Mark laughed. "You know for only being two years old he learned pretty quick that he can get a lot of mileage out of that pouty face puppy dog thing."   
  
"Yeah well, he wanted to go in our bed or me to lay down with him so I did. I must have fallen asleep." He shrugged. 

"So where's your phone? We tried to call you." Maureen told him in an accusing manner. 

"My phone? It's right," He reached for his hip. "Um, I think I left it behind the bar. Sorry." He got a small grin on his face. 

"Now that we know he's not dead in an alley someplace, and I don't have to go looking for him at the crack of dawn, can I go back to bed now?" Mark asked, from his spot leaning against the counter. 

"Oh yes, I'm sorry Mark. But thank you." Cass said apologetically. 

"Oh anytime. Really." He said sarcastically, but still grinning. "Come on let's go to bed."   
  
"Okay, but I have to get up in an hour now anyway." Maureen told him.

"Well I don't." Roger said. "Besides I only went to bed three hours ago. And I woke up when he kicked me in the head."   
  
"Oh poor Baby." Cass walked over and gave him a kiss. 

  
Roger wrapped his arms around her waist. "You coming to bed?"   
  
"I might as well stay up and get some work done while everyone's asleep."   
  
"What if I give you the pouty face with the puppy dog eyes? Will you come lay down with me then?"   
  
"Roger I have to get him up in an hour and a half for preschool, plus I have to finish this project."   
  
"Come lay down with me and then when I get up later today I'll pick him up from school and then I'll take him to the park. You can get all sorts of work done then. I promise. We'll both be gone. I'll even take Mark with us. And Mo will be at work still." He gave her his best puppy dog eyes and pouty face. 

"That look is getting a lot of mileage today." She laughed at him. 

"Please." He still has his arms around her waist so he lifted her feet off the ground, walking towards the bedroom. 

"I suppose I don't have much choice." She smiled letting him move her into the bedroom. 

"Nope." He kissed her ear. "I'll even go running with you later too."   
  
"I suppose." She grinned as he set her down on the bed. "Considering your offer."   
  
"Oh if that's all it takes, I can make you a much better offer than that." He gave her a mischievous grin. 

"Go to sleep Davis! You'll need it if your taking him to the park and me running."   
  
"Yeah, yeah." He kissed her a few times as he wrapped his arms around her, quickly falling asleep. 


	90. 90

A/N My usual thanks to all my readers as well as reviewers. Thanks to sticking with me this long. I think you'll be happily surprised by what goes on in this chapter!

To build me a star() – Yes we have picked up the pace. Collin was two years old in the _last _chapter. Like I said before, things are going to move fast from here on.

To pandapotato – Yes, two year olds can go to preschool. There are lots of different things from daycares to various schools. Good for you for picking up on that and asking though. I hate it when people throw in facts that are just so skewed that they can't be correct. Just a pet peeve of mine. But thanks for asking. 

Just a quick reminder, Ginny and Leslie live on the third floor still, and Molly is Mark's little sister.

  
  


Chapter 90 

"What do you say when Mommy looks that good?" Roger whispered in Collin's ear loud enough for Cass to hear as he walked into the hall carrying him. 

"Ewww Baby!" Collin laughed. 

"What's Mommy?"   
  
"Hot stuff." He told Roger as he put him down. 

"Thanks." She told Collin before looking at Roger. "So what are you going to teach him next? How to do shots?"   
  
"Relax, we're only kidding around. Buy you do look pretty damn hot in that."   
  
"Thanks." She smiled at him as he pulled her close for a kiss. "You look pretty good yourself."   
  
"What 'bout me? I look cool?" Collin asked, tugging on her dress. 

"You look awesome." She bent down and kissed his forehead, while straightening his tie. 

"It's a tax, just like Daddy's."   
  
"That's tux, not tax." Cass corrected him. "And you look just as good as your daddy."   
  
"And Uncle Pookie too?" 

"Yes and Uncle Pookie too." Cass stood up laughing, holding his hand. "Speaking of Uncle Pookie, how is he?"   
  
"Fine. I gave him a few tequila shots to calm him down."   
  
"Roger!" 

He started laughing. "Relax, I'm just kidding. He's talking to Jason and Collins."   
  
"But he's okay?"   
  
"For Mark? And for a guy about to marry Maureen? Yeah he's doing amazing." He kept laughing. 

"Will you behave? Please?" She tried not to laugh, even though she thought it was funny too. "I still can't believe they're getting married."   
  
"You can't? How do you think I feel? I was there for the whole, long, drawn out thing. You've only been around for the last few years. And those have been surprisingly calm and peaceful years. At least in comparison to the first few years."   
  
"Well it just shows everybody grew up." She smiled. "That's proven by the fact that not only are Maureen, Mark and Joanne still friends, but everyone, with the exception of both their parents, was able to handle Joanne and her current girlfriend coming to their wedding."   
  
"I still say the whole thing is a little weird."   
  
"What's weird?" Mark asked, walking up behind them with Jason and Collins. 

"Um, nothing." Cass told him. "Are we ready?"   
  
"Yeah. I guess. Ready as I'll ever be."   
  
"What are you nervous about?" Jason asked him. "I mean you've known Maureen forever. And besides, if Roger can manage to get married, anybody can do it."   
  
"Ha ha." Roger rolled his eyes at him. 

"Okay then. You two go sit down." Cass pointed at Jason and Collins. "Please. Before Maureen's mother makes me crazy. She's already close to having a nervous breakdown. And Mark's mother is still fretting about the whole church thing now that she's here. So you two go do what ever you're supposed to be doing." She pointed to Mark and Roger. "And you," she knelt down next to Collin, "do you know what you're supposed to do?" Collin nodded. "What?"   
  
"I don't know." He gave her a three-year-old whole body shrug.   
  
Roger sighed. "What did I tell you before?"   
  
Collin looked up at him thoughtfully. "Um, to be good or no cake!" 

Everybody laughed at that. "What else? Where are you supposed to walk?" Roger asked. 

Collin pointed down the church aisle. "That way to Grandma."   
  
"Right." Roger picked him up again. "When Mommy tells you, you walk down there. Me and Uncle Mark will be down there. You come towards us then go sit by Grandma. You see her?" Roger pointed at his mom and Larry a few pews back from the front. 

"Uh huh." Collin nodded, just as Joanie turned around and saw him. "Hi Grandma!" He yelled across the church, waving at her."   
  
"Collin! Shhh!" Roger told him laughing. "Don't yell."   
  
"That'll be good for your mom's nerves Mark." Collins laughed, joined by Jason. 

  
Collin's lower lip jutted out. "Do I still get cake?" He asked, tears starting to form. 

Roger looked at Cass who turned away laughing. "Yes you still get cake. Just be quiet." He laughed, putting him down. "Now wait for Mommy to tell you to go. Okay?"   
  
"Okay!" The tears gone as soon as he found out he still got cake. 

"Okay. Let's get going before Mo's mom comes out and yells at me again."   
  
"That's all the encouragement I need to move." Collins laughed as he and Jason found their seats. 

"Yeah let's go." Roger told Mark, heading him towards the front of the church. He turned back to Collin. "Remember, wait till Mommy tells you then go to Grandma. Okay?"   
  
Collin nodded. Cass sat him in a chair. "Now sit here while I go get Aunt Mo. Don't move. I mean it."   
  
"Okay Mommy." He told her, swinging his legs back and forth. 

Cass got Maureen and the music started to play. "You ready?"   
  
"Ready as I'll ever be." Maureen told her. 

Cass laughed, realizing it was the same answer Mark gave. "You'll be fine. And you look beautiful. Got your flowers." Maureen nodded. "You ready buddy?" Collin nodded and hopped down from his chair. "Okay here's your pillow." She handed him the ring pillow. "Now walk towards Daddy."   
  
The music played and Collin stared down the aisle. Once he reached the people he slowed down as he looked around. Roger waved at him to keep him moving. He could tell he was nervous as he suddenly started moving real slow. When he got to the end of the aisle he stood there for a second, not sure what to do. He started to move toward Roger, who shook his head and pointed towards the side where Joanie was waiting for him. Everyone laughed as he smiled and ran over to her. 

Cass came down the aisle, laughing at Collin. When she reached the front, the music changed and Maureen and her father started down the aisle. When she reached the front she stepped up next to Mark. The minister started to speak and the whole church, even Collin was quiet. When the ceremony was over and the minister told him, Mark leaned over and kissed Maureen. Collin, who was standing on Larry's lap watching intently, jumped up and down. "Yeah!" He yelled, clapping his hands as everyone laughed.

***********

Well that was pretty nice." Cass said dancing with Roger. 

"Amusing to say the least." He spun her around. 

"You're referring to Collin I assume." She smiled. 

"Definitely." He kissed her. "But aside from that, it was pretty cool."   
  
"Just 'pretty' cool?"   
  
"Yeah. Nowhere near as good as our wedding."   
  
"Oh really?"   
  
"Yup." He kissed her. "Mark only got Mo. I got you."   
  
"Not to mention Boy Wonder." She laughed. 

"Not to mention." He laughed as well as Collins and Jason walked over. 

  
"Hey can I cut in?" Jason asked. 

"You want to dance with her, fine, but there is no way I'm dancing with him." Roger laughed, pointing at Collins. 

"Forget it." Collins told him. "You're not my type."   
  
"Hey why don't you go check on the kiddo."   
  
"Okay." He kissed her. "He was with Joanne and her girlfriend the last time I saw him." He walked off with Collins. 

Jason started dancing with Cass. "So it was a really nice wedding."   
  
"Yes it was." Cass smiled. 

"So I was thinking, now that Mark and Mo moved into the big apartment on the first floor, you guys must be a little lonely. It being so quiet and all."   
  
"First of all between Roger and my three year old Roger wanna be, it's never quiet. And secondly, considering Mark still works up there, they do their laundry up there and they are there all the time along with everyone else, who's had time to miss them?" Cass laughed. 

"Really?"   
  
"Yes. Really." She grinned a little. "Sort of. Okay yes I do kind of miss them. Collin keeps wanting to know when Uncle Mark and Aunt Mo and coming home. When we tell him they aren't, they are staying down stairs he want to know what they did."   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"Well, when he gets in trouble he gets sent to his room. I think he thinks they're in trouble so we sent them to their room."   
  
"That's pretty funny." Jason laughed, spinning her around. "So he's really a Roger wanna be huh?"   
  
"You better believe it. Scary huh? I asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween, know what he told me?"   


"Afraid to ask."   
  
"Daddy." She laughed. "I told him he can be Daddy any time, what else does he want to be. He thinks about it and says a guitar player. With blue hair."   
  
"Blue huh?"   
  
"Yup. I mean I was thinking maybe Disney or something cute like that, but that's what he says he wants." She shrugged. "I don't know. He saw an old film Mark shot of Roger playing. Back with the Well Hungarians during his blue hair phase."   
  
Jason laughed. "So what exactly is he going to be for Halloween?"   
  
"A blue haired, bad assed, tough as nails guitar player." She smiled. "At least I don't have to try and make anything. Cut the sleeves off a tee shirt, wear his leather jacket, jeans and spray paint his hair blue. Then he can wear sunglasses and carry his Elmo guitar. Easy. Besides it's only the school party plus the building. That's it."   
  
"That'll be cute. We'll have to be around to see that."   
  
"What's going on Jason?" She asked him skeptically. 

"Well, Mark did mention that the guy on the third floor was moving out of the big apartment."   
  
"Uh huh. And your lease is up soon?"   
  
"Well…"   
  
"What's going on Jason? You guys didn't want to move in when the first floor place opened up. Why now?"   
  
"We just decide it might be nice to move closer to everybody. You guys, Mark and Mo, Jen and the cop, Ginny and Leslie."   
  
"You mean Jen and Rich. Like him or not, you better get used to him. They've been together almost three years. And he's a really nice guy Jason."   
  
"Yeah, I suppose." He sighed. 

"Jason?" Cass stopped dancing and looked up at him. "Is Collins okay? Is that way you guys want to move in?" 

"Oh yeah. He's okay. I mean he says he feels fine. His meds haven't changed. But yeah, I think that has something to do with moving there. Kinda like moving home, sort of." He trailed off, looking over towards Collins and Roger laughing with a group of people. 

  
"Good." She hugged him. "This way you don't have far to go when you finally leave our place." She grinned at him, pulling him over to Roger and Collins. 

"Hey, I found the kid." Roger told her, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

  
"Where is he?"  
  
"Sound asleep in a booth with my mom. Covered in frosting and cake crumbs, missing half his tux."   
  
"I guess he had fun. Good thing the pictures are done."   
  
"Definitely." Roger laughed. 

Cass looked up at him. "So it looks like I rented the third floor apartment."   
  
"To who? Please don't tell me Molly wants to move in with that idiot?"   
  
"No silly!" She laughed. "Collins and Jason."   
  
"Really?" He looked at Collins. 

  
"Yeah, we talked about it and decided we wanted to slum it for a few years." Collins laughed. 

"Loser! You wait till somebody decent owns the place, fixes it up and now you want to move back in! Now that there's heat!" Roger laughed. 

"Well some of us do have our standards you know."   
  
"Yeah right!" Roger laughed, throwing an arm around Collins shoulder. 

********************

A/N – So? Were we all happily surprised? Little Marky happy at last? Mark and Maureen together in wedded bliss! I had to do it!

Now, I just have to tell you all this. First off, you did catch that Collin is now three years old? I think I'm going to post his age at the end of every chapter from now on to make sure no one gets confused about the passage of time. 

Now to move on to the funny part. Please keep in mind, I wrote this chapter a good while ago. My son is 15 months old. He went to his first Halloween party on Monday. Now at said party there were a number of cute little animals, Disney characters, pumpkins and princess types. But there was only one bad assed, tough as nails guitar player with blue hair!

Okay, so Collin (my Collin, the real one) has this little leather Harley biker jacket. He wore that, his green plaid pants (couldn't find purple plaid), a tee shirt, his hair (what little of it there is) was in a blue mohawk and he had a little blue electric guitar that played a few notes, a few little songs and even had a wammy bar! He looked so cute! And people other than his mommy said this too! 

But here's the even funnier part of the story. The husband and I were discussing Halloween a few weeks ago and I told him we had his outfit all set. He asked what he was going to be. I informed the husband/daddy that he was going to be a bad assed, tough as nails, guitar player with blue hair. The husband has never read Another Second Chance. He knows nothing about it. He's only seen Rent once. But he looks at me and says "So in other words, you're dressing him as that guy from RENT."

Now that was funny!


	91. 91

A/N Okay, so now that Halloween has come and gone, I have to tell you all about the rest of Collin's Halloween costume. First of all as I said he had his leather jacket, blue mohawk, and little blue electric guitar. But he also had a roadie (the daddy) who also drove the tour bus (little red wagon) when we went trick or treating. He also had his own personal groupie (me!). But here's the best part. I had a concert shirt! It said "Well Hungarians" on the front and "Well Hungarians 2003 Paying the RENT tour" on the back. Okay, so I'm pathetic, but I had fun with my baby on Halloween! And he looked so cute playing his little guitar! Any way, I wore the shirt to our playgroup Halloween party and one of the mom's asked me if that was a real group. I cracked up! Okay, enough from me. Here's the next chapter. Thanks for sticking with me for so long. 

Kelby (aka the groupie)

Chapter 91

"Okay. Right. That's what I thought. Thanks." Cass hung up the phone. 

"Well?" Maureen asked from the couch. 

"If he's going to get them, they'll show up in a few days, but he's contagious right now."   
  
"Great. So what do you do?"   
  
"Quarantine him I guess." Cass shrugged. "No Roger. No Collins. And I guess we need to check to make sure everybody else already had them too."   
  
"Well I had them when I was like five."   
  
"Good. Me too."   
  
"Mommy? Can I have a snack?" Collin called from his room.

"Yes. Give me a minute." Cass called to him before turning back to Maureen. 

"What about the past few days?"   
  
"Well, luckily, he hasn't really seen him. Roger's been at the bar the past three nights till after he went to bed. And he left before he got home from school. So I think I'm okay there. Let's just hope."   
  
"Where is he now?"   
  
"The Iguana. He had to place a liquor order then he'll be home. The bad thing is, because he hadn't seen him in a few days, Roger promised him they'd go do something today."   
  
"Uh oh."   
  
"Yes." She nodded sadly. "I suppose I should go pack up some stuff for him." Cass got up and walked towards their room. "So you want him or do I send him to Collins and Jason's?"   
  
Maureen laughed. "We'll take him. I'm still surprised we were able to pry Mark and Roger apart so we could move downstairs to begin with!"   
  
"Mommy?" 

"I'm coming. Just hold on."   
  
"I'll get him something." Maureen told her, walking towards the kitchen. She fixed Collin a snack and took it into him. After letting him beat her on a video game they came out into the living room. 

When Collin saw the suitcase and the guitar in it's case by the door his lower lip came out and started to quiver. "Where's Daddy going?"   
  
"Oh Sweetie…"   
  
"Daddy said we'd go out when he got home." He started to cry. 

"I know." She picked him up and sat down on the couch. "But you can't, not today. Not for a few days."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Daddy's got to stay with Aunt Mo and Uncle Mark for a few days." 

"Is he in trouble?"   
  
Cass laughed. "No Daddy's not in trouble. And you aren't either. But Noah, at your school, he's got chicken pox and I'm afraid you're going to get them too."   
  
"But I don't want a chicken. I want Daddy." 

Both Cass and Maureen laughed at that. "No, I'm afraid you're going to get sick and we can't let Dad get sick. Remember?"   
  
Collin nodded while his lip still quivered. In his whole three and a half years he'd been told that a number of times. He still never really understood it, but he accepted it somewhat. "But I wanna see Daddy."   
  
"I know Baby. And Daddy will want to see you too. But not for a few days okay? Just till we know he can't get sick too. Okay? But you can call him. Whenever you want. Deal?" He nodded. "Okay. How about you take a nap now?"   
  
She carried him into his room. After a few minutes she was able to get him to lie down. After Maureen left, Cass tried to get some work done. About an hour later she heard Roger's keys in the door. He opened it as far as the chain would allow. 

"Cass." He called into the loft. 

"Shhh. You'll wake him up." She closed the door and undid the chain. 

  
"Why did you have the chain on the door?"   
  
"Shhh. I don't want him to hear you." She stepped out the door and motioned for Roger to sit on the steps.

"What's going on?" He sat down, pulling her close.  
  
"You have to move out for a few days." Cass told him softly. 

"What?"   
  
"Shhh. He's already upset. Don't let him hear you. His teacher called. I picked him up early. His friend Noah came down with the chicken pox this morning."   
  
"So why do I have to move out? I had the chicken pox when I was little."   
  
"Well, I called the pediatrician. Noah would have been contagious last week at school, making Collin contagious now. So then I called your doctor. He said it would be better to keep you away from him."   
  
"Great." Roger dropped his head back against the wall. "So what does that mean?"   
  
"It means you and Collins and anybody else who never had chicken pox has to stay away from Typhoid Collin for a few days." She tried to joke. "I packed some stuff for you. Mo took a bag of clothes and your guitar down to their place." 

Roger let out a long sigh. "I hate this. This totally sucks!"   
  
"I know Baby. It's only for a few days."   
  
"But I promised him…"   
  
"It's only a few days."   
  
"I had chicken pox when I was little. I can't get them again."   
  
"No, but you can still get sick." She turned and looked at him. "And he'll get over not seeing you for a few days easier than he'd get over you getting sick."   
  
"I still hate this."   
  
"I know Baby. I know."

******************

"Oh the poor kid is covered in red bumps Joanie. Plus I cut and filed his nails down to nothing so he won't scratch. Then on top of that I've got almost every square inch of him patted down in pick calamine lotion. If the whole thing wasn't so sad, it'd be funny."   
  
"I know what you mean." Joanie laughed. "But other than that how are they?"   
  
"Pouting. Both of them. Do you know Roger had Mark come in here, open up the screen and prop the window in Collin's room. For three days in a row he's been sneaking up the fire escape and bringing him ice cream."   
  
"Oh that's so sweet. Do they know you know?"   
  
"No. I figured I'd let them think they were pulling a fast one on me. Plus the little TV his playstation is hooked up to is moved closer to the window too. I think he's playing video games with him from the fire escape. Now instead of worrying about him getting chicken pox I'll end up worrying about him getting pneumonia from sitting out there."   
  
"I'll talk to Roger. Get him to tell me so he still thinks they are fooling you. I'll make sure he's wearing a coat. You know Mark will too."   
  
"True, but Mark's been avoiding me. I think he's afraid I can smell them scamming me or something." 

"You have to love Mark for that." Joanie laughed. "What happened with Izzy and Krystal's little boy?"   
  
"Well," Cass laughed, "I told Krystal about it the same day I found out, she almost ran over here with Mattie. She made them go play and like every fifteen minutes she kept telling Collin to give Mattie a kiss and a hug. She just desperately wanted that child to get them and get it over with."   
  
"That's funny, but I can understand it. Did it work?"   
  
"Yup. She called me this morning. He's all broken out."   
  
"Well that's good. So can I talk to him?"   
  
"Sure hold on." Cass moved the phone some. "Collin, Grandma's on the phone."   
  
"Coming." He called back from his room. 

"He's coming Joanie. He, hey, where did you get that pizza?" Cass asked as Collin walked out of his bedroom chewing on a pizza crust. 

  
"I don't know." He shrugged. 

"Oh he's gonna get it. I'll talk to you later Joanie." Cass whispered into the phone to Joanie who was laughing as she handed the phone to Collin.

"Hi Grandma! Know what? I got chicken pops! And Mommy won't let Daddy or Uncle Collins come home."

Cass heard him start talking as she walked into this room. She saw the napkin his pizza slice must have been on sitting on the windowsill next to a soda can and Collin's "Go Fish" card game. She opened up the window and leaned out. Cass could hear footsteps going down the fire escape just below her. "You're busted Davis!" She yelled down. The footsteps started back up the steps. 

  
"Who me?" He looked up at her, giving her his most innocent look. "I wasn't doing anything, just going for a walk." He laughed. 

"Right." Cass laughed back at him. 

"How did you know I was out here?"   
  
"The pizza crust that mysteriously appeared from his room." 

"He sell me out?" He grinned. 

"Nope. When I asked where he got it he said he didn't know. She gave him a look. 

"That's my boy." H laughed. "When you going to let me come home?" He asked coming the rest of the way up. 

"Maybe two more days. After he goes to the doctor."   
  
"Okay. I don't suppose I can talk you into anything sooner?"   
  
"Nope. Sorry. But I only kicked you out because I love you."   
  
"If you loved me you wouldn't have made me go live with Mark and Mo again."   
  
"Sorry Baby. But I miss you." She leaned out and ran her finger down his chest. 

"Me too." He leaned over and kissed her. 

"Mommy!" Collin called from the living room. 

Cass broke away from him. "Sorry. Looks like I gotta go. You too."   
  
"We gotta work on his timing." Roger grinned, pulling her in for another kiss. 

"Mommy?"   
  
"I gotta go. Just a couple more days. Love you Babe."   
  
"You too." 

Cass closed the window, being sure not to dislodge Mark's secret little wood slate that pushed the window open. 


	92. 92

A/N Okay, to answer a few concerns that have been posted. 

1 – There is a logical conclusion, and we are quickly working toward it. However, it's necessary to cover something to show the passages of time as well as how everyone's lives have changed and developed. 

2- True Roger does still have AIDS and life is not always so blissful. Hold on and you'll see what happens. I have a plan. 

So anyway, thanks to everyone still reading and reviewing. While it saddens me to know this is quickly working towards an end, I'm excited at the same time to see something of this magnitude completed. Thanks to all of you for being part of it! 

Kelby

Chapter 92

Roger could hear the clicking and slowly opened his eyes. Cass was sitting in the chair by his bed typing away. She hadn't realized he had woken up. He watched her work. She looked tired. Her forehead was all crinkled up and she was chewing on the earpiece of her glasses. "Hey Baby." He yawned reaching a hand out to her. 

"Hey. Did I wake you? I'm sorry." She put her glasses back on and kissed him, closing the laptop. 

  
"No. This crap makes me sleepy." He smacked his hand at the IV tubing. "Plus I'm bored out of my mind."   
  
"Well, better it makes you sleepy then makes you puke." She told him. 

  
"Great." He said, sounding pissed. 

"How do you feel?"   
  
"I feel fine. I don't need to be here. I'm not really sick!"   
  
"Roger…" 

"No damn it! I don't need to be here! I'm not that sick! I should be at home!" He sat up on the edge of the bed. 

"Then why did your doctor put you in the hospital?" She was tired of this argument. They had danced around it for going on three days now. 

"Because he's a pain in the ass! I know what people that are sick look like! I've seen them! I don't look like that!"   
  
Cass had had enough. "No you know what people who are dying look like, and you're not dying! Not now! You've got a slight infection damn it! You're in the hospital so it doesn't get bad! You're in the hospital because you have good enough insurance that the doctor can put you in here when you sneeze! So you don't get really sick. So you don't just end up here when you really are sick and they can't do anything else. So stop being difficult and get you ass the rest of the way back into that bed!" She stood there, hands on her hips daring him to defy her and move the wrong way. 

He knew she was right. He also knew he wasn't going to win or go anywhere but back into the bed. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her over, between his knees, resting his head against her shoulder. "It's his friggin birthday." He said, sounding defeated. "He shouldn't be turning four sitting in a hospital."   
  
"Roger he doesn't care where he is for his birthday. He just wants to see you. He wants to know when you're coming home. And you can't till you're all better." She hugged him. 

"But it's still his birthday. I don't want him to remember turning four sitting in a hospital."   
  
Cass moved back some to look at him. "Roger do you remember your fourth birthday?"   
  
"No. I guess not." He shrugged. 

"Neither do I." She smiled. "And in a few weeks neither will he. He'll remember a party, he'll remember it was his birthday, and he'll remember his presents. That's all."   
  
"No, he'll remember the cake too." Roger got a slight grin. 

"Right." Cass smiled. "He'll definitely remember the cake. For a few weeks. That's all. He doesn't care where his birthday is as long as he gets one. And as soon as you get home, nothing else will matter." She reached up running her fingers through his hair. 

"Nothing huh?"   
  
"Roger, he worships you. Do you hear me? Worships you. You know when he found out you weren't coming home the other night, he got a hold of a marker and got it all over the back of his hand. When I tried to wash it off that night in the bath he threw a fit. Do you know what he told me?"   
  
"What?"   
  
"That it was a tattoo. Just like Daddy's. When it washed off the next day, he made Jason re-do it for him."

"Oh." 

"So now I have a four year old running around with a Magic Marker tattoo of a cross between his thumb and finger. Do you understand now? Why you have to sit in this damn hospital?"   
  
Roger pulled her close again. "Yes. I'm sorry. I love you Baby."   
  
"I love you too." She started kissing him only stopping when they heard someone at the door. 

"Sorry to interrupt." The nurse said stepping into the room. "I need to hook up a new IV bag Roger."   
  
"Yeah, whatever." He let Cass go, leaning back in the bed. 

"Roger." Cass scolded. 

"It's okay. If he wasn't grumpy I'd think something was wrong." She winked at Cass to let her know she was kidding.  
  
Cass stifled a laugh. "I know exactly what you mean."   
  
"Oh great, gang up on me."   


The nurse hung the new IV up. "So that little cutie still coming tonight?"   
  
"Yep. It's his birthday." Roger told her. 

  
"And trust me, he'll tell you that too." Cass told her. 

"Yeah? We'll have to see what we can find around here for him. His cute uncle coming too? The one with the camera?"   
  
"You mean the one with the possibly psychotic wife?" Cass laughed. "Yeah he'll be here. And a few others."   
  
"Well let me know when and I'll open up day room for you. You want to change shirts or anything before I re-hook your hep lock? So you don't have to slide the bag through the sleeve again?"   
  
"Yeah. Good idea." He laughed, pulling on the shirt Cass handed him. 

She finished up and took his vitals. "Okay. You're all set for another couple of hours. Just let me know when you want that room opened. And save me some cake."   
  
"Sure. Thanks Barb." Cass told her, smiling as she left. "Well that'll be good. More room. And more chairs."   
  
"So when are they getting here?"   
  
"Well Jason is picking the kiddo up, then Collins. They're going for something to eat."   
  
"Any chance they're bringing me any food?"   
  
"Um, the three of them are eating at Mr. Pizza's Play Place."   
  
"Ewww. I think I'd rather have hospital food. Okay, I'll pass. Call Mark, he'll bring food."   
  
Cass smiled. "Well, Mo's getting his cake, but I don't know where Mark is. He said he had errands to run. That's why Jason's picking him up."   
  
Roger got a sly grin. "Yeah Mark's taking care of something for me."   
  
"What?"   
  
"You'll have to wait and see." He teased her. 

"Okay now I'm scared."   
  
"Don't worry."   
  
"It better not be an animal Roger. And Mickey better not show up with anything else either. Between Pookie the disappearing hamster, Pookie the salamander that ran under the fridge, and the goldfish," 

  
"Pookie One and Pookie Two." Roger cut her off, laughing.  
  
"Exactly. We don't have a very good track record. We keep this up and somebody's going to call the humane society on us."   
  
"Why does he name them all Pookie anyway?"   
  
"Because he's four. And probably because when he was little Maureen taught him to call Mark Uncle Pookie and Mark spent all that time getting him to stop."   
  
Roger laughed. "Well at least he's got the one goldfish left."   
  
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about that."   
  
"What happened to Mark the goldfish?"   
  
"Well, Mark the uncle took him to school this morning and found Mark the fish in his pocket. Turns out he was bringing him along to see you tonight."   
  
"Ewww!" Roger laughed. "How much you want to bet Mark bought a new one today and dumped it in the bowl?"   
  
"Probably." She climbed up on the bed next to him, stretching out, letting him wrap his arms around her. She lay there for a few minutes, listening to him breath as he played with her hair. "Roger we need to talk about something." 

"What's up Baby?" He said softly, still stroking her hair. 

"I heard from that school. He got in."   
  
"That's good right?"   
  
"Yes. I mean it's a smart kid school, not just a rich kid school."   
  
"Well, he's a smart kid. He can read and count and everything."   
  
"Yes, and I don't exactly want him going to East Village PS whatever."   
  
"Okay. So what's the problem?"   
  
"Well, it's really kind of expensive."   
  
"Can we afford it? You want me to work at the bar more?"  
  
Cass smiled up at him. "Um, it's not exactly one extra shift at the Iguana expensive, more like every shift at the Iguana plus some expensive. Every year. For twelve years."   
  
"Oh. Well, can we afford it?"   
  
"Yes. Basically." She paused. "But I was thinking of something else."   
  
"What? Robbing a bank?" He joked. 

"No, but that could be more appealing." She gave a nervous laugh. "Call Carlton. Let him pay for it."   
  
"Your dad? You think he would?"   
  
"Yes. It's amazing what guilt will make you pay for."   
  
"But?"  
  
"Well, I guess now that he's four, mentioning Collin's existence to Carlton might not be too bad an idea."   
  
"Do you think he'll want to see him or anything?"   
  
"No. I mean I don't know what Carlton wants, but his won't make him an instant grandfather or anything. He can find out about him. I'll even give him a few pictures maybe, but that's it. He doesn't get to meet him or anything. But he does need to know about him. That way, Collin is guaranteed a fair share of 'family' money."   
  
"Okay Baby. If that's what you want. I guess he's due that. You too." He kissed her ear. "So he got into the smart kid school huh? Not surprising. He's as brilliant as his mother."   
  
"I was smart enough to marry you." She kissed him. "You want to take a nap before they get here?"   
  
"Sure." He held her tight till they both feel asleep.

"Hey! Loser! Wake up!"   
  
Roger opened his eyes as Cass started to move. "Hey."   
  
"Here I brought you food." Mark sat the bag down on the nightstand. "You better get moving. Everybody will be here soon."   
  
Cass sat up as Roger stretched, reaching for the food. "Thanks." He looked up at Mark. "So? Did you get it?"   
  
"Yes. And you owe me." Mark laughed. "It was really hard to wrap." He pointed at the triangle shaped box, wrapped in birthday paper, leaning against the wall.

"Cool!" Roger said excitedly, pulling the food out of the bag. 

  
"What is it?"   
  
"You'll see. Here eat." He handed her a sandwich. The three of them sat around talking until Maureen showed up baring cake, balloons and presents. She had just finished her sandwich when the door opened again. 

"Daddy!" Collin yelled, rushing the bed and started to climb up.

"Hey Buddy!" Roger hugged him as Mark lifted him up onto the bed.   
  
"Know what? Today's my birthday!"   
  
"I know." Roger laughed at him. Collin rambled on about school, and his goldfish Mark and the cupcakes Aunt Jen made for him to take to school for his birthday. Roger and everybody laughed and tried to follow what he was saying. 

Mark and Jason moved the cake and presents down to the day room as Collin continued on, pushing Roger's IV pole. He was still eyeing his cake and presents when the door opened and Joanie and Larry walked in. 

"Grandma!" He yelled out mid sentence, launching himself into her arms. Once there he recapped for her most of the conversation he'd been having with everyone else. 

  
"Okay, I suppose we should let you open your presents now huh?" Cass asked him. 

"Uh huh!" He shook his head vigorously, while eyeing the stack of gifts. 

"I don't know, that's a lot of stuff for somebody who's only three." Collins teased him. 

"I'm not three! I'm four!"   
  
"Oh excuse me!" Collins laughed. "Then I guess we should give you this." He handed him his present. 

Paper, ribbons and bows went flying as Collin dove right in. Eventually everything in the pile was opened and they ate the chocolate cake. 

"Collin you're a mess!" Joanie told him, wiping off his face. 

  
"You have a good birthday?" Roger asked him. 

"Uh huh." He nodded. 

  
"You open all your presents?"   
  
"Uh huh."   
  
"What's that?" Roger asked him after Mark pulled the triangle shaped box out from behind the chair he had hidden it behind earlier. 

Collin hopped down and ran over to it as Mark set it in the middle of the room. In seconds the paper was shredded and Jason was helping him lift the cardboard cover off the box. 

Mark took his picture as his mouth fell open and his eyes went wide. "Is it all mine?" He asked Roger. 

  
"Yup. All yours." Roger laughed at him as Collin picked the small acoustic guitar up out of the box. 

"Oh my God." Cass said, shaking her head. 

  
"Where did you ever find a guitar that little?" Maureen asked. 

  
"It wasn't easy. Trust me." Mark laughed. 

"Wow your very own guitar." Joanie said to him. 

"Now you don't ever need to touch Daddy's." Cass said, glancing at Roger. 

"Yeah well." He grinned. "I figured he'd like it. Plus that no touching my Fender idea doesn't hurt any either."   
  
Soon Joanie and Larry took off for Scarsdale, with promises to pick him up tomorrow to spend the weekend with them. Aunt Shelly and Uncle Patrick were taking him to the Bronx Zoo on Saturday. Cass made her promise he wouldn't return with any fish or animals from Uncle Mickey either. 

They gave cake to the nurses as Jason and Collins packed up all the presents except the guitar and along with Maureen headed back to Avenue B. 

They had moved back to Roger's room. Collin lay in the bed with Roger as he helped him get his fingers on the right strings. Eventually, while Mark, Cass and Roger talked, Collin fell asleep, holding the guitar.

"Okay, we need to go. He's got school tomorrow."   
  
"Okay." Roger handed the guitar to Mark who put it back in the box. "Collin Buddy wake up." Roger shook him as he sat up. "I'll see you tomorrow. Before you go to Grandma's."   
  
He lay back down and hugged Roger. "Daddy when are you coming home?"   
  
"Pretty soon. Maybe a couple more days. Okay?" Collin nodded. "Okay. Love you Buddy. Happy birthday."   
  
"Bye Daddy." He said sleepily as Mark lifted him up to carry him out. 

"Bye Baby." She kissed him goodbye. "I'll see you later. Love you."   
  
"Love you too."   
  
"I'll talk to you tomorrow Rog." Mark said, holding Collin as he put an arm around Cass, leading her out of the room.

Roger gave a small wave as they walked out the door. He couldn't help but think how good they looked together. His wife. His kid. His best friend. Mark could have had all that and he knew it. Mark loved Cass and he stepped aside for him and Cass to be together. Sure Mark had Maureen, but that didn't mean he didn't love Cass. For as much as Roger loved the fact he knew Mark would always be there for them, he hated it too. Hated it because he knew he wouldn't and sitting in that hospital bed just drove that point home. Sitting there with the IV dripping into his veins, he saw the irony of the whole situation. This whole mess started with something in his veins. He reached over and dialed the phone, calling Cass' cell. 

"Hello?"   
  
"Hey."   
  
"What's the matter?" She asked, alarmed from the cab. 

"Nothing. I just, I love you Baby. I really, really love you. I'll see you tomorrow. Night." He hung up the phone before she had a chance to say anything else.

*******************

Cass heard the bedroom door open and rolled over as Collin came in, dragging his blanket behind him.

"Mommy?"   
  
"What are you doing up? You don't have to up for another twenty minutes." She smiled at him as she slid over some and pulled back the covers for him to crawl in next to her. "Come here." She patted the bed. He crawled in next to her, snuggling up close and yawning. "Did you have fun this weekend at Grandma's?" 

  
He nodded. "How about the zoo with Uncle Patrick and Aunt Shelly?" He nodded again. "What's the matter?" She whispered to him. 

"Can Daddy come home today?" He asked, looking up with big sad eyes. 

Cass grinned. "You know what? I know you had a good time this weekend because when Uncle Patrick brought you home last night you were sound asleep. You never even woke up when he brought you upstairs or when I put you in bed." Collin didn't say anything, just looked at her. "Know what that means?" He shook his head. "It means you didn't know who was here last night when you got home!" She smiled at him. "Listen." Cass put a finger to his lips to tell him to be quiet. As they lay there she watched his eyes widen and a big smile cross his face as he heard Roger snore. 

Collin sat up, climbing over Cass. "Daddy!" He yelled, throwing himself on Roger.  
  
Roger's eyes flew open and he let out a grunt as Collin landed on his stomach. 

"Hey! Be careful. Daddy's still sort of sick."   
  
"I'm not sick. I just have a monster jumping on my stomach!" He hugged Collin. "Told you I'd be home in a couple of days."   
  
Collin threw his arms around his neck, lying on his chest. "I'm glad you're home Daddy."   
  
"Me too Buddy. Me too." He hugged him back. 

  
"Well considering we're all up, how about breakfast? And coffee?"   
  
"Sounds good." Roger told her smiling. 

"Okay, I'll start the coffee, then you need to get dressed for school kiddo." Cass told them getting up and heading into the kitchen as Collin and started to tell Roger all about his trip to the zoo. When Cass came back in a few minutes later Roger whispered into Collin's ear. Cass watched his face light up and knew she was in trouble.

"Can I stay home from school today? With Daddy? Pleeeeeeeeease Mommy?" He gave her the puppy dog eyes.   
  
"Yeah pleeeeeeease Mommy?" Roger asked, giving her his own version of the puppy dog eyes. 

She chewed on her lip, pretending to think about it. "I don't know. I've got a lot of work to do today."   
  
"We'll be good. We promise. We'll be quiet." Collin shook his head. 

  
"Oh right!" Cass laughed. "You two are never quiet!"   
  
"We could be." Roger told her. "If we're not here. We could go to breakfast. And go see the dinosaurs at the museum for awhile. And have lunch."   
  
"Yeah!"   
  
"You want to skip pre-school to do that?" She teased him. 

"Uh huh!" He jumped up and down. 

"I don't know if letting you two loose on New York is such a great idea."   
  
"We can take Uncle Mark." Collin told her, still trying to convince her. 

"Yeah, we can take Uncle Mark." Roger teased. 

"Oh you think Uncle Mark has nothing better to do than just hang out with you two?" Cass laughed. 

"Actually yeah." Roger laughed. "So? Please?"   
  
"I suppose." Cass smiled at them.   
  
"Yeah!" Collin jumped up and down on the bed.

"Okay." Roger told him, sitting up and setting Collin on the floor. "Go brush your teeth and find some clothes."   
  
"Okay." He grabbed his blanket and took off for his room. 

Cass watched him go before turning back to Roger. "Why do I feel like I just got set up?"   
  
"No idea Baby." He stood up and kissed her as he headed towards the bathroom. "No idea."


	93. 93

A/N To Em0xstatic – I always pictured Mark dropping out of Brown after completing his sophomore year. That would make him 20. He and Roger graduated high school together, so Roger would also be 20. I figured about two years for him to move in with Roger, them all to be settled, Roger to date April and all that. Making Roger and Mark 22 ish at the beginning of Rent and 23 at the conclusion of the play. Roger and Mimi were together for three years before she died in early spring. Making Roger 26. About six months after Mimi died is when Cass shows up. At that point Roger is pushing 27 and that is the beginning of ASC. Just add Collin's age to 27. I also always figured Cass to have been right around the same age as Mark when they meet. That would make all three of them in the 26 – 27 age range when this story begins. Hope that answers your questions. 

Chapter 93

"Collin I don't want to hear it! This place is a mess."   
  
"But Uncle Mark-"

"I don't' care. We're going to dinner later. Izzy and Krystal are coming, they're bringing Mattie. You'll see him there."   
  
"But he's my best friend."   
  
"I know, I know. Now put down that guitar and come clean this room."   
  
"It is clean." He shrugged. 

"Let's go for cleaner." She told him, sniffing. "And you need to clean that hamster cage, it stinks."   
  
"Okay." He told her as he reluctantly put his guitar in it's case. He took his hamster out of the cage and put it in the play ball. 

"Ewww Collin! When was the last time you cleaned that cage?" She asked him, picking up laundry. 

  
"I don't know." He shrugged. 

"Well from now on, why don't you clean it every Saturday." She told him, opening one of the windows. 

"Every Saturday?" He asked wide-eyed. 

"Yes. Every Saturday." She said, moving to the other window, trying to open it. "That's one of the reasons we're not getting a dog."   
  
"But Uncle Mark-"

"Forget it. We live on the fourth floor." She banged on the window. "Uncle Mark wants a dog, that's a fight you two need to have with your Aunt Mo." She banged on the stuck window frame again. "God, what is wrong with this stupid window." She banged again.  
  
"Mommy!" Collin yelled, flipping around at the sound of the breaking glass.

Cass looked down at her hand, which had gone through the glass halfway to her elbow. She pulled it close to her as the blood gushed down her arm. She clasp her other hand over the gaping wound on her wrist. Cass felt her stomach flip flop as she looked at it. "Go get Uncle Mark!"   
  
"Mommy!"   
  
"Go get him now! Hurry up, okay? Mommy needs him."   
  
Collin took off screaming for Mark from the second he was out the front door, all the way down the steps. 

Mark was just starting upstairs with a load of laundry when he heard Collin's bloodcurdling scream for him. He dropped the basket and took off up the stairs. Meeting him on the second floor just as Jennifer opened her apartment door. Collins and Jason, hearing him in the stairway were running down after him. "What's the matter?"   
  
"Mommy hurt her arm!" He cried. "She's bleeding real bad!"   
  
"Collin stay with Jennifer!" Mark yelled at he started up the stairs two at a time followed by Collins and Jason. "Cass? Cass?" He burst through the door. Mark saw the blood on the floor leading to Collins' bathroom first. He rushed to the bathroom and froze when he saw her in there. She was sitting on the floor leaning against the tub. Blood was everywhere. On her clothes, her face, her chest. She had wrapped a towel around her wrist. Her eyes were closed and she was extremely pale. 

  
Collins and Jason got there only a second or two after Mark, but he hadn't moved. Collins pushed past him, rushing at Cass. "Cass!" She picked her head up and looked at him, but her eyes had a vacant look to them. 

"Holy Shit!" Jason exclaimed as Collins carefully lifted the towel off, exposing the deep gushing wound in her wrist and the cuts to her arm and hand. "It's okay Cass!"   
  
"Mark call and ambulance!" Collins yelled at him. "Mark!"   
  
"I'll get it." Jason told him, when Mark hadn't moved.

"Tell them to hurry! She's losing a lot of blood." Collins called to him as he heard Jason talking to the 911 operator. "Cass? Cass! Stay with me sweetie. What happened?" He asked her as he pulled off his belt and fastened it around her upper arm, trying to slow the bleeding. 

"The window was stuck. It broke."   
  
Collins kept talking to her, waiting for the ambulance. Rich, Jen's boyfriend, came thudding up the stairs in full uniform. "What happened? I just heard the call. I, oh my God Cass!"   
  
"She was trying to open a window and it broke. Where the hell is the ambulance?" Collins asked still putting pressure on her wrist. 

  
Rich got on his radio asking dispatch where the ambulance was. "They're pulling up now." He took off back down the stairs. When he returned the EMT's and another cop were following him. 

The EMT's started talking back and forth to each other and Rich. "What's her name?"   
  
"Cass. Cass Davis." Collins told them backing out of the bathroom. 

"Did she take anything?"   
  
"She take anything? Pills? Alcohol?"   
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you think it was an accident or did she try and kill herself?" The EMT asked, started an IV in her good arm. "She leave a note or anything?"   
  
"No!" Collins broke in. "She was trying to open a window and it broke."   
  
"Okay. We just need to know in case she may have taken something." They got her on a stretcher and started downstairs. 

"I'm right behind you guys." Rich told them, before talking cop language into his radio. 

"You'll drive us?" Jason asked Rich. 

  
"Yeah no problem. Let me check in with Jen. You want her to keep Collin?"   
  
"Um, yeah, till we figure out what's going on at least."   
  
"Okay." He started towards the door. "Collins?" He gestured towards Mark who had backed up across the room, sitting on the floor against the wall, starring at the bathroom door. 

Collins looked at him. "Yeah, we'll take care of it." He nodded. 

********************

"Cass Davis?" The nurse called out to the waiting room. 

"Yes? That's us."   
  
"She's in recovery. You can come with me." They walked into the recovery area. The nurse pointed out Cass' bed. Her arm was covered in bandages and propped up. She was hooked up to an IV. He couldn't get over how pale and waxy she looked. 

"Hey." She tried to smile. 

  
"Hey." He sat down next to her, touching her cheek. "Don't do that again." 

"What?"   
  
"Scare the crap out of me."   
  
"Sorry." She managed a small smile. "Where's Collin?"   
  
"Getting his first official ride in a police car." He smiled. "Rich and Jen are taking him to my mom's."   
  
"Is he okay?"   
  
"He's a little freaked out. I told him you were okay and just needed stitches like in his head. I promised him you'd call him tomorrow."   
  
"But he's okay?"   
  
"He'll be fine. How are you?"   
  
"Sore. Sleepy."   
  
"Get some sleep." He leaned over and kissed her. "Love you Baby."   
  
"I love you too Roger." She told him. Closing her eyes again. 

  
"Mr. Davis?" The nurse called him. The surgeon is coming down. He'll be able to talk to you then."   
  
"Oh thanks." He sat down and waited. Collins was on the phone in the corner. He hung up and walked over. Sitting down next to him. The surgeon came in and talked to them. Cass had severe lacerations. They repaired the vein, ligament, tendon and tissue damage, but she was going to need physical therapy. Most likely she'd be able to go home in two to three days. 

"So she's okay."   
  
"Yeah. I guess." Roger sighed. 

"We kept trying to call you."   
  
"Don't worry about it. It was my fault. I set my phone down in the back. We couldn't hear it while we were practicing anyway."   
  
"Look Collin was pretty freaked out. Jen figured he'd be better off at your mom's. Especially with Mark all freaked out and all. I hope that's okay."   
  
"Yeah. Yeah that was probably a good idea." Roger told him, staring at the doors to the recover room. 

"Roger are you okay?"   
  
"What? Yeah I guess." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and rubbing his face. "No I'm not actually."   
  
"Roger she's gonna be okay."   
  
"I know. I know. I just… God Collins I've always thought of me dying, not her."   
  
"I know. I thought of that tonight too." Collins looked at the floor.

  
"What if… what if she had Collins?"   
  
"She didn't. She's going to be fine. It was just a stupid accident. That's all."   
  
"But what if she had? And then I do? What about Collin? He's already freaked out!" He jumped out of his seat, paced a quick circle before throwing himself back into the chair. 

Collins sighed. "I know. But she didn't. She's going to be fine. There was a lot of blood. He's a little kid. It was scary for him. For all of us. But she's going to be okay. He knows that."   
  
"But someday I won't."   
  
The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes. "I know that. I won't either. But he's a tough little kid. He has to be. And someday he's gonna go through a lot cause we're both gonna die on him. But he' gonna be okay. He'll survive us. And he'll get over today too. Besides, right now, he's not the one I'm worried about."   
  
"I'll be okay."   
  
"Um, actually I was talking about Mark."   
  
Roger looked up and looked around. He suddenly realized he hadn't seen Mark since he left for band practice early this afternoon and it was after eight at night. Mark was going to be home all day. Mark would have been the first person Collin would run to for help. Mark would never leave Cass alone. He should have been here the whole time. 

When Rich walked into rehearsal to get him, he knew something was wrong. It being Rich didn't surprise him. Mark would never have left Cass. But when Roger got to the hospital, Mark wasn't here. It didn't occur to him at the time, he was too worried about Cass and Collin. 

"Where's Mark? What's wrong with him?"   
  
"Look Roger, it was Collin's bedroom window that broke. And you already know it was her hand and arm that got cut up. There was a lot of blood. _A lot of blood_. All over her, the floor. All over the bathroom. The old bathroom Roger. 

"Oh Jesus." Roger dropped his head back into his hands. 

******************

Roger softly knocked on the apartment door. A few seconds later Maureen opened it. "Hey. How's Cass?"   
  
"She'll be okay. She'll need physical therapy. She can come home in a few days."   
  
"Good. I called you mom. She said she got Collin to sleep okay. Rich let him show Larry how to work the lights and sirens." She got a small smile. "We almost forgot to pack his blanket. That would have been bad."   
  
"Yeah," he got a small grin. "That would have been bad. He's a tough guy, as long as he's got his blanket at night." Roger looked around the small apartment. The TV was on with the volume turned down low and the lights were off. "Um, where's Mark?"   
  
Maureen motioned towards the hall and stepped out, followed by Roger. She pulled the door most of the way closed, leaving it open only a few inches. She sat down on the steps leaving room for Roger to sit next to her. When he did she let out a long sigh. "I finally got him to go to sleep. I kinda wish he had a blanket. But since he doesn't I gave him two of those allergy pills that always make him sleepy."  
  
"Is he okay?"   
  
"I don't think so. Roger he's really freaked out." Roger just stared at the floor. When he didn't say anything she continued. "Look don't go freaking out on me too, okay? Promise?"   
  
"Yeah, I'm okay Mo."   
  
"No really Roger. Promise me. Don't freak out on me. Promise me."   
  
He could hear the urgency in her voice and that was almost enough to freak him out. "Yeah Mo, I promise."   
  
She took a huge shuttering breath. "Oh God Roger, it was just like before. Just like April." She started crying. 

He put his arm around her and pulled her close. "I know Mo. I know."   
  
"There was blood everywhere! And it was that bathroom! The same bathroom! You've got three of them now and she picked the same bathroom!"   
  
"It's okay Mo."   
  
"And Mark's all freaked out. It was just horrible. He's barely said anything all night. Roger I think he's losing it."   
  
"He's not losing it. I'll talk to him. Okay? I promise. Just stop crying. Please." 

She wiped at her tears and nodded her head. Maureen stood up. "Jason boarded up the window. He said he'll try and get it fixed tomorrow."   
  
"Oh good." He looked up from his seat on the steps. "Is it a real mess upstairs?"   
  
"Not now. I mean it was. That's why Jen made Collin sat at her place. But I got it all cleaned up."   
  
"You did?" He was surprised. 

"Of course I did. I didn't want you coming home to that." She paused for a second. "I cleaned it up last time too. After April." She said softly. 

"You did? I didn't know that. I guess I always thought…. I guess I never really thought about it. I guess I should have known that."   
  
"You had other things on your mind." She smiled at him, leaning on the doorframe. Just then they heard Mark calling out in his sleep. "Oh God."   
  
"Let me go." He told her, walking into the apartment. 

Maureen just nodded. She knew it all stemmed back to April. She was there. She used to hold Mark when he had the nightmares after that night. But she knew Roger would be the only one that would be able to comfort Mark tonight. She never understood the relationship between the two of them and tonight she didn't care if she ever understood it. 

Roger walked into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. "Mark." He shook his shoulder. "Mark wake up! You're dreaming. Wake up."   
  
Mark started to move some and opened his eyes. "Roger?"   
  
"Yeah it's me. You awake?" He handed him his glasses as he sat back against the wall. 

"How's Cass?" Mark sat up next to him, but didn't look at him. 

"She'll be okay. You know she'll be pissed about not being able to type. They've got her whole hand and arm all wrapped up."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"Mark are you okay?"   
  
"Yeah I'm fine." He told him flatly, not looking up. 

Roger just nodded in the dark. "I heard it was pretty bad upstairs."   
  
"Yeah, I guess."   
  
"Mo and Collins said there was blood all over the bathroom."   
  
"Uh huh."   
  
"They said it looked just like before."   
  
"I don't know what you mean."   
  
Roger sighed. "Just like when April, you know, when April killed herself."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"It's not the same thing Mark. It was an accident. Cass will be fine." Mark just sat there not moving. "Are you okay?" Roger asked him. Mark took a deep breath, fighting back tears. "Mark?" He asked softly.

"I, I went for coffee." He said it so softly Roger almost couldn't hear him. "I went for coffee."   
  
"What today? Mark it was an accident. The window was stuck. That's all."   
  
"I got done early. I didn't want to come home. I knew you were at practice and I knew she'd be there. So I went for coffee."   
  
"Cass?" Roger was confused, but Mark continued. 

"I stayed out. I hung out at the coffee shop. I couldn't deal with her that day. I knew you'd come home from practice and you guys would leave. I hung out till I figured you'd be coming home soon."   
  
Roger could tell by his breathing he had started crying.   
  
"I stayed out. I should have come home. If I'd come home, I would have been here. I could have stopped her. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Roger. I should have come home. I'm so sorry." 

"Oh Jesus Mark!" Roger put an arm around him and pulled him close. "Are you talking about April?"   
  
"If I'd just come home. I would have been here."   
  
"Oh God Mark. That was almost ten years ago! You've been walking around with that for ten years?"   
  
"If I'd come home maybe I could have stopped her."   
  
"Mark you couldn't have stopped her. It's not your fault. April did what she did. We couldn't stop her. You couldn't have stopped her. It's not your fault." Roger told him, rubbing his head, trying to calm him down. 

"But if I--"

"No Mark!" Roger wiped the tears off his own cheeks that had started to form. "April wasn't your fault. Today wasn't your fault. It wasn't the same thing at all. Okay? Today was just an accident."   
  
"I just feel like I should have done something." He sobbed. 

"Mark you did a lot! But it wasn't your fault! None of it. You couldn't have stopped her. Okay? Tell me you understand that? You couldn't have stopped April, and what happened to Cass was an accident. Okay? Tell me you understand that!"   
  
"I, I guess."   
  
"Good." Roger didn't really believe him, but at least he had calmed down, and was talking. From what Mo and Collins said, he had a feeling this conversation was the most Mark had said all day. Roger knew this wasn't the end of it thought. He kept rubbing Mark's head till he fell asleep. 

Maureen had been sitting on the couch listening to the whole conversation. She knew the reason Mark lost it today had to do with April, but she had no idea he'd been walking around all these years feeling that guilty about her. When she hadn't heard them say anything in awhile she got up to check on them. They were both asleep. Roger had slid down the wall. Mark was still leaning against him and he still had an arm around Mark. 

She couldn't help but smile at them. She used to hate the way Roger took up so much of Mark's time and life. She was jealous of what they had and she knew it. When they were first together, so many years ago she used to wish Roger would just go away. That way she'd have Mark all to herself. Back then she wasn't very good at sharing. 

Looking at them now, she couldn't imagine that. She couldn't begin to imagine either one of the without the other. In a way, they sort of completed each other. Not like she did with Mark or Cass did with Roger. But the two of them sort of made up one entity. They had both made it this far because of each other. She didn't know hot to describe it. They were more than friends, even more than brothers. She didn't understand them and honestly she didn't care if she ever did. 

Maureen carefully laid a blanket across them before walking back into the living room. She couldn't stop thinking about them. Not just Mark and Roger, but all of them. So much had happened over the years. So many things. Maureen laid down on the couch, pulling the blanket over her. So, so much had happened. She realized thought it all how lucky they were to all be friends. 

**********

A/N So Becca? Did I get you again? That was the point! Ha! I'm allowed to be evil like that sometimes!


	94. 94

A/N Thanks to everyone for the numerous reviews I got on the last chapter. As you can tell, these chapters now are showing their lives as time passes. I've been trying to keep one time period per chapter, but last chapter and this one together, would have been just too long. So this chapter continues where chapter 93 left off.

Chapter 94

Roger had been shuffling through the stack of papers for over an hour. He'd flip through a few pages, play a few cords off the page then flip a few more pages. It was too quiet in the loft. In the whole building. Anytime Collin wasn't around it was quiet, but this was different. Cass was still in the hospital. Collin wasn't back from Scarsdale yet. Mark wasn't up here working. Maureen wasn't up here looking for Mark. Jason wasn't playing with Collin. Collins wasn't up here joking with them and having some great discussion with Cass. 

Nobody was there and that made it too quiet. And that was making him crazy. He got up and dropped the guitar back in its case. Out of frustration he started moving around the loft, picking up Collin's stuff. He took the handful of books and shoes and things and put them in his room. Jason had boarded over the broken window and covered it with a garbage bag to help keep the cool night air out. 

Suddenly he realized what he had actually been doing all evening was thinking. About Mark. About April. And about that night. He didn't really remember a whole lot about it. He would have liked to think that was due to time or repressing it or something. But Roger knew the truth. He was too screwed up back then.

It wasn't different from most nights. He'd get home, they'd shoot up. Then they'd either leave or end up going at it till they both passed out. 

He came in wanting a fix. Instead he found Mark yelling at a locked bathroom door. And that pissed him off. Not that Mark was yelling at April, but that April had started without him. 

It had taken him a few minutes to even realize that something beyond that was going on. Not until Mark had started to panic and was trying to force the door open. That's when Roger kicked the door in and they found her. Roger found himself standing in front of Collins' bathroom door. The old bathroom. The bathroom it happened in. The bathroom April killed herself in. 

He realized all those years ago part of reason he had shut down was to avoid it all. Especially that room. He hated going in that room. He knew he didn't have much choice, considering it was their only bathroom then, but he still hated it. 

Thinking back on it, he couldn't remember the last time he'd gone in there. When Cass bough the building and told him the plans to build two new bathrooms, he didn't remember getting excited, but he knew it meant he didn't have to go in there anymore. 

He never even went in there for Collin if he could help it. When he was little, he always gave him a bath in their bathroom. Even now, if he's getting Collin ready he'll always turn on the shower for him in their bathroom, never this one. He even got Collin a second toothbrush when he was little so he could brush his teeth in their bathroom, not this one. This one that held those horrible memories.

Roger had never really realized all this. Realized he had felt this way about that night. About that room. He especially never realized Mark had felt the way he did all these years. Poor Mark. How could he have though any of that? How could you never have known that Davis? A lot of stuff had gone on over the years. A lot of it wasn't fair to Mark. But especially that. Mark never should have thought any of that. He never should have been carrying that around for so many years.

Roger had vowed a long time ago to do better by Mark and by most counts he had. But he was going to now especially. He was getting Mark some help that was for sure.

His thoughts were broken by the soft knock on the door that echoed through the silent loft. Roger pulled himself away form the open bathroom door he'd been standing in front of for who knew how long and walked to the front door. When he opened it, he felt his face soften as a small smile crept across his face. "Hey." 

"Hey." Patrick said walking in the door holding a sleeping Collin, "Where do you want him?"   
  
"Here give him to me." Roger took Collin, still clutching his blanket, and carried him into his room. He never woke up as Roger laid him in his bed and covered him up. 

Roger walked back out to the living room, quietly closing the bedroom door behind him. "How long has he been asleep?"   
  
"Since about five minutes after we left. I figured he would, that's why I made him put his pajamas on before we left." Shelly smiled giving Roger a hug. "How you doing?"   
  
"I'm okay." Roger shrugged sitting down in the armchair. "Thanks for bringing him back."   
  
"No problem." Patrick told him from the couch. "How's Cass?"   
  
"She'll be okay I guess. Out of commission for awhile. She's going to need physical therapy and stuff, but the doctor said she'll be okay eventually."   
  
"Well as long as she'll be okay." Shelly sighed. "Collin told us all about it. He was really freaked out at first, but we convinced him he was a big hero getting Mark and all. Seemed to have worked."

"That's good." Roger couldn't help but think how much he wished that would work with Mark. He let out a long breath and leaned back in the chair.

"You sure you're okay sweetie? Did you eat anything? Want me to make you something?"   
  
"No I'm fine. Thanks Shell. Jen made me dinner. I'm just tired. Did I tell you I talked to her dad?"   
  
"Cass' dad?" Patrick asked surprised. 

"Yeah. She was working on some big project. Needed me to call and let him know he'd have to finish it all up. Some big deadline. I don't know what it was, but I called him. Told him what happened and he'd have to finish it. She won't be able to work for awhile, can't really type or anything."   
  
"That must have been interesting."   
  
"Yeah well." Roger shrugged. 

"Well we got to get going. Call us if you need anything okay?"   
  
"Yeah, thanks Patrick. I'll talk to you guys later."   
  
"Okay, bye Rog." Shelly hugged him again. "Don't forget to call Joanie tomorrow."   
  
"I will, thanks Shelly." He closed the door behind them and locked it. As he walked back towards the living room, he heard the low cry. 

"Daddddddy."   
  
Roger opened the bedroom door and found Collin sitting up on his bed in the cornier, clutching his blanket, eyes wide. "Hey Buddy. What's the matter?"   
  
"What's that?"   
  
Roger could hear the little kid fear in his voice and looked over where Collin pointed. He reached down and picked him up, giving him a hug. "That's just the window. Uncle Jason put a garbage bag over it to keep the cold air out."   
  
Collin gave a gasp and grabbed at Roger's neck as the wind made the plastic move in the window frame. Roger realized it was a lot darker in here than usual with the window covered up. "You want to sleep in my bed tonight?" Collin nodded and rested his head on Roger's shoulder. "Okay, come on." He carried him in and put him in his and Cass' bed. Once there, Collin was back asleep almost immediately. 

*******************

Cass looked up from the magazine she'd been flipping through when she heard the knock at the door. "Come in." The door opened and she saw the flowers. "Oh you can just set them over there." She motioned with her good hand towards the side table. 

"I, uh…"   
  
Cass looked up again, this time at the delivery guy. "Carlton! What are you doing here?"   
  
"I, ah… Roger called, told me what happened. I mean he called to tell me how you couldn't meet your deadline and he told me what happened. I had a flight to France today already with a lay over in New York. I decided to change my flight and come see you. Is, is that alright?" He asked hesitantly. 

"Um, yeah, sure. So ah, how are you?"   
  
"I'm fine. How are you? I mean you look good, all things considered."   
  
Cass gave a small laugh. "Yeah right." She shrugged. "I'm okay, they've got me on pain killers which make me sleepy, but I'll be okay."   
  
"That's good. Real good." He kept shaking his head as he spoke. "So…" 

"So…"   
  
"It's been a long time Cassiopeia."   
  
"Yes it has." Even through the painkillers she could feel the awkwardness. They've spoken on the phone and emailed, but hadn't actually seen each other since the weekend she arrived in New York. 

"So, Roger's doing well?"   
  
"Oh yes. He's writing a lot. Sold a bunch of songs. He's even produced a few of them. And the bar's doing really well. We bought into it and expanded it when the place next door closed down."   
  
"That's good." He nodded. "And the baby?"   
  
"Hardly a baby any more." She smiled for a second before realizing Collin was already four before Carlton even found out he existed. "He's getting really big. Doing great in school. Plays a mean guitar for only being five."   
  
"That's great. Your side company seems to be going well. You've got a great reputation."   
  
"I try." She nodded. Suddenly the door opened and Collin rushed in followed by Roger. 

"Mommy!" He yelled when he saw her. His face broke into a hug smile. He still had on his school uniform but his shirt was all untucked and Cass could tell he had ice cream, probably on the way over. She could also tell Roger had gotten him ready for school by the spikes in his hair and the amount of gel holding them up.

"Hey Sweetie!" She held out her good left hand to him as he started to climb up on the bed. "Give me a kiss."   
  
"Collin be careful." Roger told him lifting him up. "Hey Baby." Roger smiled as he leaned in and kissed her. "How do you feel?"   
  
"Great now. How about you Buddy? You have a good time at Grandma's?"   
  
"Uh huh. I got to ride in Uncle Rich's police car and he let me turn on the sirens and everything." He grinned. 

"I heard! I tried to call you but you were out racing go carts."   
  
"Uh huh. Grandpa and me raced Uncle Mickey and Uncle Patrick. And Uncle Mickey hit Uncle Patrick and knocked him into the tires!" He laughed. 

"Wow! Big weekend." She smiled up at Roger before looking back at Collin. 

"Uh huh. Mommy are you gonna be okay?"   
  
"I'm going to be fine. It's just a big cut. But I guess I can't play video games for awhile."   
  
"That's okay. You're not very good at them."   
  
Both Cass and Roger laughed at that. "I guess you're right. You okay baby?" She played with his spiked hair. 

"Uh huh. You scared me Mommy." He said softly. 

"I kinda scared me too, but it was just an accident so don't worry. Okay?"   
  
"That's what Daddy said. And I get to sleep in your bed till all the new windows are in and the scary window is gone."   
  
Cass looked to Roger confused. 

"He doesn't like the plastic over the busted window. Sort of scares him."   
  
"Got it. Now new windows?"   
  
"Uh huh. Daddy said we're getting all new windows so you never do that again."   
  
"I see. New windows huh?"   
  
Roger got a sheepish grin. "Um, home improvements, equity, something like that."   
  
"Right." Cass grinned. 

"Who's that?" Collin asked. 

  
Cass looked up, she had completely forgotten Carlton was sitting in the corner of the room. 

"I should go."   
  
"No, um it's okay." Cass told him. She looked up at Roger and saw his eyes narrow as he realized who was in the room. "It's okay. Really." She reached up and took his hand behind Collin's back. "That's Mr. Sullivan. I work with him. My computer talks to his computer. Can you say hi?"   
  
"Hi."   
  
"Hello. You must be Collin."   
  
"Uh huh."   
  
"You're a pretty big guy."   
  
"I'm five."   
  
"Wow. That pretty old."   
  
"Uh huh." He looked up at Roger. "Can I have a soda."   
  
"Um, yeah, I guess." Roger said lifting him off the bed but never taking his eyes off Carlton. "The machines just by the elevator. We'll be right back." He told Cass. 

"I can take him down if you want. I mean if you don't mind or want to talk or whatever."   
  
"I can handle it." Roger told him coldly. 

"No it's okay." Cass said to Roger. "He can take him down. It's okay." She turned to Collin. "Bring me back one. Okay?"   
  
"Okay Mommy." He opened the door and waited. 

Roger pulled a bunch of change out of his pocket and went to hand it to Collin. 

"I've got change." Carlton told him. 

"Um, I'll take a diet Coke." Cass told him as he stepped through the door. Roger walked over and opened the door, watching them walk down the hall. "Roger it's okay."   
  
"Cass…"   
  
"It's okay. They're only going for sodas down the hall. He's not going to kidnap him or anything."   
  
"But Cass…"   
  
"Roger, it's okay. Just let them talk a little. Close the door and come here."   
  
Reluctantly he listened, walking over to the bed, sitting on its edge. 

"You okay Baby?"   
  
"Yeah. He just makes me nervous."   
  
"I know. What about everything else? Like new windows?"   
  
"I'm okay. I just don't want to have to worry about you doing that again."   
  
"If new windows will give you piece of mind then go for it." She smiled at him. "How's Mark?"   
  
"I don't know. Not too good I guess. Has he talked to you?" She shook her head. "We got him an appointment with a shrink for Wednesday."   
  
"What's he say?"   
  
"That he's fine, which is total bullshit. He's going on Wednesday if I gotta carry him, kicking and screaming the whole way. I'm taking him and I'll sit outside that office all afternoon if I have to." He looked up, staring out the window. 

Cass sighed. She knew what he was thinking. "Roger did you tell Mark it wasn't his fault?"   
  
"Of course I did!" His head spun around. 

"Then do you understand that Mark's not your fault either?"   
  
"I just… he's gotta be okay. He's gonna be right?"   
  
"He'll be okay. Don't worry." She rubbed his back with her good hand as the door opened again and Collin and Carlton came in. 

"Here Mommy." He grinned, handing her her soda as Roger lifted him back up onto the bed. 

"He told me all about his school." Carlton said, stepping into the room. "And his guitar." He gave Roger a small grin. "He says he's almost as good as you."   
  
Roger smiled. "Yeah he's getting there."   
  
"Well I should go. It was really good to see you Cassiopeia. Really. And it was really nice to meet you Collin."   
  
Cass nodded her head. "You too." She hugged Collin closer. 

"Right so, good luck. Call me if you need anything. And don't worry about work. It'll still be there whenever you're ready to come back." 

"Thanks Carlton."   
  
"Okay so I'll go now." He was still standing at the door. He turned to walk out but turned back once more. "Ah, Roger? Can I talk to you for a minute?"   
  
Cass watched Roger follow him out, not sure what it was all about. 

Roger closed the door behind him as he stepped out into the hall. He just stood there, waiting, not saying anything. 

"Look, I, I don't know. I just wanted… just thank you. For everything. For taking care of her. And Collin. He's just amazing."   
  
"Yeah he is."   
  
"Look I screwed up a lot of things. I'm glad she's got you. I never really gave you and your friends a fair chance in the beginning and I'm sorry, but I'm glad she had you. All of you, to take care of her."   
  
"I love her, you know."   
  
"I know. I can see that. Thank you." 

Before Roger could say anything, Carlton turned and walked away, leaving him standing there. Roger watched him walk away before going back into Cass' room. Collin was going on about something to Cass. She looked up when he came back in. 

"What was that all about?"   
  
"Nothing. Don't worry about it. It's all good." He leaned in and kissed her forehead. 

Collin watched them from his spot next to her on the bed. "Mommy when are you coming home?"   
  
"Maybe tomorrow Sweetie. Maybe tomorrow."   
  
"Good." 

*****************

Roger opened up the front door to the building, holding the pizza up so Collin could walk in under it. "Go see if Mark and Mo want some pizza."  
  
"Okay." Collin ran the few steps to their front door knocking as he opened it. "Aunt Mo?"   
  
"Hey sweetie!" She looked up from the couch. "Did you get to see your mom?"   
  
"Uh huh." He nodded as Roger stepped in behind him. 

"Hey. We got pizza. He eat anything yet?" Roger motioned with his head toward the bedroom. 

"Not really." She sighed, turning to Collin. "Why don't you go see if your Uncle Pookie will eat some pizza."   
  
"Okay." Collin laughed like he always did when Maureen referred to Mark as "Uncle Pookie."   
  
"Hey." Roger called to him before he made it out of the living room. "Don't call him Uncle Pookie. Not today okay? Just don't tease him."   
  
"Okay Daddy." Collin walked into the bedroom. 

"How is he?"   
  
Maureen sighed. "I don't know Roger." She shook her head. "The same I guess. I just… I don't know." Her eyes teared up. 

"It's gonna be okay Mo." He pulled her close and hugged her. "It's gonna be okay."   
  
Maureen hugged him back. "I know." She let out a sigh and wiped her eyes. "You'll go with him on Wednesday?"   
  
"You better believe it." Roger smiled at her, trying to make her feel better. "Even if I gotta carry him."   
  
"Good. Thanks." She smiled as Collin came back out. "So? Uncle Pookie want any pizza?"   
  
"He said he's not hungry right now."   
  
"Okay. Well, we tried Mo." 

"I known. Thanks Rog. He did eat earlier at least."   
  
"Well, good. I gotta go feed him." He nodded at Collin. "Call me if you need anything."   
  
"Okay. Hey what did Cass say? When can she come home?"   
  
"Tomorrow!" Collin grinned. 

"Maybe. We don't know yet Collin, so don't get too excited yet."   
  
"I know Daddy." He rolled his eyes.   
  
"Okay. Well let me know. I'll see you guys later." She leaned down and gave Collin a hug and kiss before closing the door behind them. 

Roger and Collin walked up the three flights of stairs to their place. Roger got plates and handed Collin a slice while he got him something to drink. After a few minutes Roger realized Collin was quietly picking at his pizza.

"What's the matter Collin? You still worried about Mommy? She told you she was okay."   
  
"I know." He played with his milk glass. 

"Then what's wrong? You love pizza." 

Collin shrugged before looking up. "Daddy?"   
  
"What Buddy?"   
  
"What's wrong with Uncle Mark?"   
  
Roger chewed on his lip trying to figure out how to answer that. "Well, he's kinda upset."   
  
"About Mommy?"   
  
"Yeah. He doesn't like to see Mommy get hurt. I think he kinda feels like it's his fault Mommy got hurt, but it's not. It's not your fault either."   
  
"I know." He took a small bite of his pizza before looking up at Roger with big eyes. "Daddy when's April?"   
  
"In like two weeks. Why?"   
  
"Well when Mommy cut herself, Aunt Mo was down at Aunt Jen's and she kept crying and crying and she and Uncle Collins were saying it was just like April. And Uncle Mark's acting weird. And this morning, before Uncle Collins took me to school, we stopped down there and he kept telling Aunt Mo how Uncle Mark's got to understand Mommy's not the same as April. I don't get it. What happens in April?"   
  
Roger just looked at him for a second. How was he supposed to explain that? To a five year old? A way too smart for his own good five year old. Every answer produced another question with Collin. Sometimes weeks later. 

He had always known someday he'd have to tell Collin some of this stuff, but he never figured it would be now. And by himself, without Cass. 

  
"Daddy?"   
  
He realized he must have been staring at Collin while thinking. "Um, nothing happens in April."   
  
"But Aunt Mo said--"

"I know." He let out a long sigh, realizing he wasn't going to get off that easy. "They weren't talking about the month Collin, they were talking about a girl named April."   
  
"Oh." He waited for more. 

"Okay, a long time ago, before I ever met you mom, April was my girlfriend. She lived here, with me and Uncle Mark and Aunt Mo and Uncle Collins."   
  
"So how come I never met her?"   
  
"Well, because she died."   
  
"How?"   
  
Roger knew that question was coming. "She cut herself, kinda like Mommy. That's why Uncle Mark's upset. When Mommy cut herself it reminded him of April."   
  
"Did she break a window too?"   
  
"No."   
  
"Then how did she cut herself?"   
  
He knew there was no real stopping this now, and the last thing he wanted to do was lie to Collin. "April didn't have an accident like Mommy. She cut herself on purpose."   
  
"Why?" He asked, wide eyed. 

"Because she was really upset."   
  
"About what?"   
  
"She found out she was sick and she was scared and she didn't know what else to do."   
  
"How come she didn't just go to the doctor?"   
  
"She did, and the doctor told her she was going to get real sick. And the doctor couldn't fix her and make her better like they did Mommy."   
  
"What was wrong with her?"   
  
"She got a disease."   
  
"Like a cold?"   
  
"Yeah, except a lot worse than a cold." He looked into Collin's questioning eyes. "Like I said, she was sick and she was scared."  
  
"Why was she scared?"   
  
"Because she found out she was going to die and it scared her."   
  
"Oh." He thought all this through for a few moments. "That's really sad."   
  
"What is?" He asked confused. 

  
"That she was so scared. Mommy was scared when she cut herself. I was too, but Mommy said get Uncle Mark. Why didn't she go see Uncle Mark?"   
  
"I don't know why." Roger shook his head. "I think that's why Uncle Mark's so upset. Because she never told him what was wrong."   
  
"Why didn't she tell you? You can fix anything."   
  
Collin said that with so much sincerity and childish belief Roger almost couldn't stand it. It almost broke his heart. "I couldn't fix that." He told him shaking his head. "Come here." He pulled him onto his lap. "Listen to me. A long time ago I did a lot of not so great stuff."   
  
"Like what?" He looked up at him. 

"Don't worry about that. Right now just listen to me. I did a lot of not so great stuff. And so did April. And because of that April got a disease and got sick. And so did I."   
  
"You're not sick Daddy." Collin told him. 

"Not right now, but sometimes I am. And someday I'll get really sick. And I'm sorry. Okay? I'm really sorry." He hugged him close. "But I love you, you know that?"   
  
"Uh huh." He looked up at him with big eyes. 

"Good." He held him close."   


"Did you love her? Like Mommy?"   
  
"Yes. Sort of like Mommy."   
  
"Oh. Is she one of those girls in Uncle Mark's book?"   
  
"What book?" Roger asked him, confused. 

"His picture books. In his office. He lets me look at them." He hopped down off Roger's lap and ran to Mark's office, returning a moment later carrying a photo album. "See." He climbed back up on Roger's lap, setting the book on the table. "There's you, and Uncle Mark. And Uncle Collins." He pointed at pictures as he talked. "He's got a couple of picture books. They got a lot of pictures of Aunt Mo in them. And Mommy. But this one doesn't have Mommy in it. But it's got three girls I don't know. All Uncle Mark says is they were friends of his."   
  
Roger flipped the page, looking at the pictures. At how young they all were. Young. Stupid. Wild. Naive. They all still thought they were invincible and could change the world back then. 

  
"Is that her?" Collin asked, pointing at a picture. 

"Yeah, that's April." Roger got a small smile. 

"She's pretty."   
  
"Yeah, she was." He ran a finger along the picture. 

"That's not a good picture of her though." He tapped a different picture. "She looks funny. So do you Daddy." He laughed. 

  
"Yeah, we do." Roger said sadly, realizing in the picture both he and April were wasted. He flipped the pages. April's birthday. His birthday. Christmas. Mark's birthday. Looking at the pictures like that he could see how bad the two of them had gotten. How bad they looked. How low they had hit. 

"She kinda looks like April." Collin pointed at a new picture as he turned a page. "She's got lots of hair." He grinned. 

"Yeah she did." He grinned looking at the picture of Mimi with her wild hair, spiked boots, and leather outfit. 

"Who is she?"   
  
"Her name was Mimi."   
  
"Was she your girlfriend?" Collin laughed, looking at a picture of Mimi kissing Roger.  
  
"Yes," he smirked, "she was my girlfriend."   
  
"Does Mommy know?"   
  
Roger laughed. "Yes Mommy knows."   
  
"What happened to her?" Collin asked, flipping pages. 

"She got sick and she died."   
  
"Like April?"   
  
"No. She got the same disease, but she didn't cut herself or anything. She got sick from the disease and she died."   
  
"Oh. She doesn't look sick. She looks happy." Collin looked at a picture of Mimi hugging both Roger and Mark. 

  
"I think she was there. Real happy."   
  
"Did you lover her too?"   
  
"Yeah I did. A lot."   
  
"Does Mommy know?"   
  
"Yes, Mommy knows. Mommy knows everything." He grinned. 

"Who is that?" He pointed at a different picture. 

"That's Angel. She was Uncle Collins boyfriend."   
  
"But she's a girl." He looked up confused. 

"Actually, no he's not. He just liked to wear dresses." Roger cracked a grin. 

"If Uncle Collins likes boys who wear dresses, why doesn't he just like girls instead?"   
  
"I don't know." Roger laughed. 

"I'm glad Uncle Jason doesn't wear dresses. He'd look funny."   
  
"You're right. He would." He laughed again. He couldn't believe he was not only having this conversation with Collin, but laughing during it. 

"So where's Angel?"   
  
"Angle died too. From the same disease."   
  
"Oh. She looks nice. Was she your friend too?"   
  
"Yes she was. A very good friend. And Angel was Mimi's best friend."   
  
"Is that why Uncle Mark would never tell me about them? Cause they died?"   
  
"Yeah. That's why. Because Uncle Mark misses them. We all do. They were special. We all loved them. Especially me." Roger told him over the lump that had formed in his throat. 

"That's sad that all three of them got sick and died like that."   
  
"Yeah it is."   
  
"I don't want you to get sick Daddy."   
  
"I know Buddy. I don't want to either." He hugged him close.

"I guess you were lucky huh Daddy?"   
  
"What do you mean?" 

"Well, you said you loved April and Mimi. Right?"   
  
"Yeah…" 

"Well did they love you?"   
  
"Yeah, I guess they did."   
  
"Well Mommy says as long as somebody loves you, you're lucky. And she said me and her were luckiest because you and Uncle Mark love us. But I think you're luckiest."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Cause you got Mommy, and me and Uncle Mark. Plus those girls, April and Mimi. Plus everybody else."   
  
"I guess you're right Buddy. I guess you're right." Roger hugged him tight as Collin kept filling pages in the photo album. 

A/N Okay, emotional chapter, especially when it is put up with chapter 93 which is how it was originally written. But this section was another one of my favorites to write. Mainly because it did deal with so many emotions of so many people. Especially the interaction between Roger and Collin. I just felt it was important to make Roger deal with his past catching up with him and having his son who idolizes him want answers. Kids always ask the hard questions that adults are too polite to ask. And when they are you're kids, you really don't want to lie to them. I thought it would be good for Roger. Hope you guys like it.

And so you know when I wrote these two chapter, I would just cry right through them every time I went back through them to edit or just to re read them. And I knew what was coming! Granted I cried through a few chapters in this story, but this section probably the hardest! 

Thanks again for sticking with me. 

Kelby

  
  



	95. 95

Chapter 95

As Roger pulled up and turned off the engine Izzy started laughing as he pulled another bag out of his trunk. "Oh man! If the Well Hungarians could see you now!" He roared. 

"What's so damn funny?" Roger asked, having a pretty good idea what he was laughing at. 

"Oh nothing! Just first the blue hair goes. Then you stop bleaching it. Now," he laughed, "Roger Davis, former rocker extraordinar, driving a mini van!"   
  
"Oh shut up!"   
  
"Oh come on Davis. A mini van?"   
  
"Yeah, so not exactly my first choice, but how else were we all supposed to get down here?"   
  
"Yeah I suppose." Izzy kept laughing. "But can I take a picture of you driving that thing? To hang up at the Iguana?"   
  
"Get a life!" Roger yelled at him, grabbing the grocery bags from the passenger seat."   
  
"Oh come on, please? Mini van and groceries. It's too much!"   
  
"Izzy leave him alone!" Krystal laughed, walking out of the house in shorts and a bikini top. "Roger this place is incredible!"   
  
"Yeah it's great isn't it?"   
  
"I still can't believe Cass found this place." Krystal slammed the trunk shut as they carried the rest of the stuff into the house. "I mean a shore house, with a pool, hot tub, three house up from the beach and it sleeps ten adults and two kids. And the fact that you guys are paying for it too. It's too much."   
  
"Yeah well," Roger set the groceries down, "after me being in the hospital last year, and Cass' accident she decided Collin deserved a really good vacation. And God forbid we leave anybody behind." Roger laughed. "Especially Mattie."   
  
"Especially Mattie." Krystal laughed. 

"Yeah, you know that kid woke us up at 6:30 this morning. Ready to go."   
  
Roger laughed. "Got you beat. After almost never going to bed Friday night, Collin comes in at 5:45 yesterday, already wearing his bathing suit, waking me up cause he's ready to go."   
  
"What did you tell your son? Because what Izzy said this morning wasn't the best choice of words for a five year old." Krystal gave Izzy a dirty look. 

"I told him I only went to bed three hours ago and if he didn't go back to sleep he wasn't going this week. Plus the car rental place didn't even open for another two hours."   
  
"Much more appropriate." She gave Izzy another look. 

"Oh that reminds me," Roger laughed at Izzy grumbling under his breath as he carried the bags off toward their room. "Rule is Collin's not allowed to wake _anybody _up before 9:00am. No pestering anybody about taking him to the beach, letting him go in the pool or breakfast. If he's hungry he can eat cereal and watch TV till somebody's up. Period. That work for you?"   
  
"I've got no problem with that." Krystal smiled, helping Roger unload the grocery bags. 

"Hey where is everybody?" Roger looked around. 

"Well," Krystal began, "we only got here about twenty five minutes ago, but Mattie already had his suit on, so Mark took him down to the beach to see Collin, who was there with Jason and Collins. Jen and Rich are in the hot tub and Cass and Mo are laying out on the upstairs balcony."   
  
"Why are they laying out up there?" He asked confused. 

  
"Because they're topless!" Izzy laughed coming back downstairs. "Man I never realized Mo had such major--"

"Izzy!" Krystal yelled at him, hands on her hips as both Roger and Izzy started laughing. 

"Okay, okay." He laughed. "Hey why did you need us to bring Mattie's sleeping bag?"   
  
Roger pulled a water out of the fridge. "Oh, Joanne and her girlfriend are coming out next weekend. We figured they could sleep in the boy's room since it's only two nights. Collin and Mattie can sleep on the floor somewhere."   
  
"Okay. I'm gonna go down to the beach, check on Mattie. You want to come with?"   
  
"No. I'll be down in a little bit. Tell Collin to stay out of trouble."   
  
"Okay." Izzy walked out. 

Krystal turned back to Roger who had started fixing himself a sandwich. "Um, Rog?"   
  
"Yeah?" He turned around, chewing. 

"What I said before, about all of it being too much. I mean it."   
  
"Don't sweat it. Cass said this place was her Christmas bonus last year." He shrugged. 

"Yeah, but this, and the school…" She trailed off, looking at the ground. 

"It's what Cass wants."   
  
"But it's so expensive."   
  
"Look, in the beginning I had real issues dealing with Cass' money and the way she spent it on me and Mark. But it's what she wanted and what made her happy. Just like this."   
  
"But Roger…"   
  
"Listen Krystal, until Cass met Mark at school she never really had any friends. Real friends at least. Ones that weren't cokeheads or something."   
  
"I know, but…"   
  
"And she won't let that happen to Collin. No matter what it takes or what it costs."   
  
"But--"

He cut her off again and continued. "Mattie is Collin's best friend. Cass wants to keep it that way. And she thinks if they go to the same school it'll be easier. Plus she doesn't want either of them getting stuck in some East Village public school. I mean you work at a New York public school. You really want him going there?"   
  
"But it's so expensive."   
  
"Look her father could never write enough checks to cover all the guilt he's got. Cass tells him she wants him to pay for Mattie to go to school there as well as Collin. So her father pays and it makes him happy, which I couldn't give a crap about, but it makes Cass happy and that's all I care about." He grinned at her. "Conveniently enough, it also ends up working out pretty good for you guys, Mattie and Collin. Just take it okay? Please? If not for Mattie, do it for me. Kinda like payback for everything Izzy's done over the years for me. Please?"   
  
"You're a really sweet guy Roger Davis. You know that?" She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. 

***********

Maureen walked into Cass' room and flopped on the bed. 

"What's up?" 

"Ugh. You got anything for a headache?" Maureen asked her. 

Krystal laughed. "Izzy and Mattie are real good for a headache."   
  
Cass started laughing at that too as she dug through a drawer and tossed Maureen a bottle of Tylenol. "I think she meant to get rid of one. If she wants to get one, we have plenty of people to do that at home. The last thing we need to do is import them."   
  
"Import who?" Jen asked, walking in with two pitchers of margaritas and a bunch of plastic cups. 

"Nobody. Bad joke." Cass told her, reaching for a cup. "Why do you have two pitchers? What's the difference?" She asked as Jen poured the first round. 

"Well apparently Izzy and Roger are verging on drunk."   
  
"Shocking!" Krystal said in mock amazement to a round of laughter. 

"I'm almost afraid to ask," Cass hesitated, "but what are they doing?"   
  
"Arguing that they know what they are doing when it comes to making margaritas and the other one is full of crap. All I wanted was a drink, but hey if they're going to have a pissing contest so to speak," Jen laughed, "who am I to turn down free drinks?" 

"Good point." Maureen said, pouring more in her glass. "So are we supposed to drink both pitchers and judge this little contest?" 

"Oh please! Who cares! Besides, I watched them each make both pitchers, they are almost identical! What a couple of dorks. No offense." She told Cass and Krystal. 

"None taken." Cass grinned. 

"God no." Krystal laughed. "So how did this all start?" 

"I don't know. Izzy was making me a drink, Roger was telling him he didn't know what he was doing. Then Roger was making me a pitcher. Next thing you know they are calling each other no talent hacks and each was arguing about how the other didn't have a clue what they were doing. Roger told Izzy how he better let him cook the steaks for dinner and yada, yada, yada." Jen shook here head. "Luckily, we already have plenty of drinks, and Collins took over the cooking of the steaks for dinner." 

"Probably a good thing." Maureen laughed. "Besides Roger only knows two temperature for steak. One step above mooing or well done." 

Jen poured more margarita in everyone's glasses. "You know, I always wondered what made Roger and Mark friends. I mean they are so different and all, but then again, so alike in ways too. And they've known each other forever. But Izzy and Roger is almost a bigger mystery sometimes." 

"True." Maureen agreed. "I mean let's face it, Roger takes a lot of patients. Which Mark has a lot more of than Izzy. It's always amazed me that Izzy hasn't fired Roger's ass all these years." 

"He has." Krystal and Cass both laughed. 

"Many, many times." Krystal grinned. "Of course God help Roger if he ever listened to him and didn't show up the next day." She laughed. "And you guys buying into the bar didn't make it any better. Now they just try and fire each other." She shook her head. 

"Too true." Cass laughed. 

"I mean Izzy has been great for Roger. Mark's over patient with him and Izzy has no patience with him. It works out well." Maureen smiled. "But you gotta wonder what made Izzy take on the project that was Roger Davis back then. I mean he didn't even like the Well Hungarians." 

"Very true." Krystal laughed, thinking back to how those early days when Roger first got his band together. "But you know, Izzy didn't book them to play for their musical talent. He booked them to give Roger a break. Same reason he hired him to work the bar." 

"But _why_?" Maureen asked before looking at Cass. "No offense." 

"Actually, I've always kind of wondered that too." Cass said. 

  
"Cause of Mattie." Krystal told them, thinking it explained it all. 

  
"He's five. This was way before that." Maureen said. 

"Not my Mattie. Izzy's brother Mattie."   
  
"Izzy has a brother? I thought he just had his sister in Jersey." Cass said confused. 

"No, he had a little brother named Mattie." Krystal said, looking down and playing with the pattern on the bedspread. "Actually I don't even know if Roger knows this. Probably not I guess. But yeah, that's why, cause of Mattie." 

Krystal looked up and realized they were waiting for more information. "See I've know Izzy since I was like ten, so I knew Mattie too. I used to baby-sit for him. He was the sweetest little kid." She shook her head. "Izzy was teaching him how to play bass guitar. He was pretty good." 

"What happened?" Jen asked, her curiosity as usual getting the best of her. 

"Well, when Izzy's parents where killed in that car accident, he was 21, his sister was 24 and Mattie was 14. Cheryl, that's his sister, she got custody of Mattie. Supposedly she and Izzy were raising him but it was mainly her. He was such a good kid. He just got messed up with the wrong crowd of kids at school. He started smoking pot, drinking, getting into trouble at school. Cheryl kept trying to get Izzy to talk to him, straighten him out. Izzy was just starting the bar with his uncle's help. He was working a lot. He didn't have enough time for the bar, me and Mattie. Nobody realized how bad he was getting or how messed up he was until it was too late. 

"Just before his eighteenth birthday he got into a huge fight with Cheryl and he took off. When he didn't come back for a couple of days Izzy started looking all over for him. Tore his room apart. That's when we really realized how bad off the poor kid really was. Izzy read this journal that Mattie had been keeping and cried. He didn't even cry when his parents died, and he sat there and cried realizing what had been going on with him. 

"When they found him he had made it all the way to the Poconos. Trey, Izzy's cousin, the one with the band, his parents had a cabin on a lake. From the time Izzy was little they would spend summers going up there. Mattie had always loved it. Especially after Izzy and Cheryl were older and didn't go too often. He got to go and hang out with just his dad and his uncles. Apparently that place meant a lot to him. Izzy didn't know where else to look, so he and Trey drove out there. That's where they found him. He broke into the cabin and overdosed on sleeping pills."

"Oh wow." Jen said sadly.

"Izzy took it real hard. He blamed himself for it. That he didn't spend any time with him. Didn't talk to him when he started getting into trouble. Just didn't do anything. Didn't matter what me or anyone else told him, he blamed himself." 

"Wow. I guess I can see where he sort of related to Roger." Maureen said softly. 

"But you don't know the half of it." She shook her head. "The first time I saw him…" She shook her head. "I couldn't believe it. Roger looked so much like Mattie it was almost scary. That's why Izzy hired him originally. Then he got to know him. Roger sort of became his little project. Make up for what he didn't do for Mattie. In the end, I think that's what helped him finally get over it. But that's also why he's always been so hard on Roger at times. 

"When he found out what was going on with him and April boy did they get into it over that. When Izzy found out he was shooting up he tried to get him into rehab. Even offered to pay for it if Roger would go. But he wouldn't leave April. Izzy even offered to pay for her too. But Roger took off on him. Izzy didn't see him for weeks. That about killed him all over again. After April, he tried to get him to come back to work. Finally he just let him be like Mark was doing. I guess he figured at least that way he knew where he was. But that was really hard on Izzy too. That's why after Mimi died he didn't go as easy on him. When Mimi was sick, he gave him all the space he needed, but he never let him quit the bar or the band."   
  
"Yeah, I remember him on more than one occasion coming over and dragging Roger out of the loft to go to work. Which was good. Mark could never have done that." Maureen told Cass as Krystal nodded. 

"But yeah, that's why they get along the way they do. It's Izzy's way to try to make up for what happened to Mattie."

"Wow. Roger never told me any of that." Cass said somewhat amazed. 

"Honestly, I don't even know if Roger has ever even known about Mattie. Izzy doesn't talk about him much so don't say anything to him okay?" 

"Oh definitely. No problem. But it does sort of explain a lot." 

"Yeah I guess it does." Krystal got up and walked to the balcony to see what all the noise was down at the pool. "Come here." She told the others, laughing.

Cass, Jen and Maureen walked over and saw the guys out by the pool. Izzy had a hold of Mattie and was about to do a cannonball off the side of the pool.

"Roger put him down before you drop him and he gets hurt!" Cass yelled down to them.

  
"Okay!" Roger yelled back as he threw Mark into the pool. 

  
Mark bobbed up, wiping his eyes and spitting water. "Thanks a lot Cass!" He laughed. 

"My turn! Do me! Do me!" Collin shouted, jumping into Roger's arms as he tossed him into the air before being caught and dunked by Mark who was still in the pool. "Do it again!" He yelled as he popped back up like a little bobber. 

"Collin you're supposed to be taking a shower." Cass called down to him. 

"Daddy said I could just go in the pool instead." He told her, climbing out so Roger could throw him again.   
  
"Roger!" 

"Well he's wet and sorta clean. I mean he's got all the sand and stuff off him." Roger laughed. "I mean we're on vacation Cass."   
  
"Yeah Mommy! We're on vacation." Collin piped in from atop Roger's shoulders. 

"Yeah Mommy, we're on vacation." Mark laughed from the pool as Roger got ready to throw Collin again. 

"Oh whatever! I don't care." She shook her head as they watched Izzy and Mattie rush up behind Roger sending all four of them into the pool. Cass went over and plopped back down on the bed followed by everyone else. "I swear he's impossible. And Mark is no help!" 

"I know." Maureen laughed. 

"I don't know why I packed that child any clothes. All he's worn is his bathing suit and pajamas."   
  
"Tell me about it." Krystal laughed. "Who wants more?" She held up the pitcher and poured more in her glass as well as Cass' and Jen's. "Mo?" 

"No thanks." Maureen lay back against the headboard.

"Maureen Johnson turn down free drinks? I've never seen that happen before." Krystal teased her.

"Me either." Jen laughed. 

"What's the matter Mo?" Cass asked her. 

"I don't know. I don't feel great."

"Yeah you have been really quiet. I mean for you and all." 

"What's the matter? Too much sun?" Jen asked her. 

"I don't know. I don't feel bad, I just don't feel right."   
  
"Maybe you should go to the doctor." Jen offered. 

"Maybe you're pregnant." Cass said innocently. 

"Oh so not funny!" Maureen rolled her eyes. 

"Maybe you are Mo." Krystal added. 

"You're a big help." She gave them both a look. "I'm not pregnant. God forbid. Your kid and Heckle and Jeckle are quite enough thank you." She smiled at them. "I'm just tired is all." 

"I don't know. That's one of the biggies when you're first pregnant." Krystal teased her. 

"I am not pregnant, just tired. Now can we drop the subject before Mark overhears us and has a coronary." She laughed for a second before becoming somewhat more serious. "But while we are on the subject of tired people," she looked from Cass to Jen, "is Collins okay? He just hasn't been himself the past few weeks. He seems sort of run down."   
  
"I don't know." Cass said, eyes on the bedspread as she played with the edge. "I mean he hasn't said anything to me, and if he and Roger talked about it, Roger hasn't said anything to me either." She said quietly, not looking up.   
  
"What about Jason? He tell you anything?" She asked Jen. 

"No, but I know he's worried about him, I can tell."  
  
"When does he go back to the clinic?"   
  
"I'm not sure. Two weeks I think." 

"Good." 

"Dinner!" Jason hollered up the stairs at them. 

"Come on, let's eat!" Cass hopped off the bed, happy to drop the subject. 

********************

"Uncle Jason?" Collin said softly, stepping into the kitchen. 

"You're supposed to be in bed asleep."   
  
"Where's my mom? I don't feel good."   
  
"Come here." Jason put a hand on his forehead as he picked him up. "She's on the deck, laying in the hammock." He walked out carrying Collin and a six pack of beer.

"What are you doing up?" Roger asked from the hammock as Jason handed him Collin and a beer. 

"He says he doesn't feel well. He's not hot or anything."   
  
"What's wrong Sweetie?" Cass asked scooting over closer to Roger to make room on the hammock for Collin. 

"My tummy hurts." He said with big pathetic eyes.

"It was probably all the junk food he ate on the boardwalk." Maureen said, trying to be helpful. 

  
"You think?" Cass said sarcastically, laughing as she gave Roger a look. 

"What'd I do? All I got him on the boardwalk was a soda and an ice cream."   
  
"Relax, you're not in trouble." Cass grinned at him. "But while that was all you actually bought him, he had way more than just ice cream." Roger just looked at her so she continued. "There was your funnel cake, and part of Mark's candy apple, some of Jason's pizza, Mo's popcorn, Rich's fudge and Collin's saltwater taffy. Not to mention all the pool water and ocean water he's probably swallowed the past few days."   
  
"Ewww. No wonder the kid doesn't feel good." Collins laughed.

"You want to lay here with us for awhile?" Cass asked Collin who nodded and got comfy on the hammock with Cass and Roger. "Okay. For a little bit."   
  
"Krystal." Izzy called from the upstairs balcony. "Mattie's up."   
  
"Well tell him to go back to sleep."

"I did. He says he doesn't feel good and wants you."   
  
"Oh all right." She grumbled, getting out of the hot tub and going upstairs. 

"We're going to walk down to the beach. Anybody want to come?" Collins asked, standing up with Jason. 

"We'll go." Jen told them, pulling Rich up. "Mo you guys coming?"   
  
"No, I'm going to go take a shower." Maureen told her, standing up and heading inside, followed by Mark. 

"What about you guys?"   
  
"We're going to stay here. See you guys later." Cass told them smoothing Collin's hair down. The three of them swung in the hammock for a few more minutes before Cass reached over and undid the brace on her hand.

"You're supposed to be wearing that thing." Roger told her at the sound of the Velcro ripping open. "You've hardly had it on all week."   
  
"First of all, if I wore it this week, I'd get a funky tan. Secondly I really only need to wear it when I'm working and typing and stuff."   
  
"Does you hand hurt still Mommy?" Collin asked, tracing his fingers over the scars on her hand and wrist.

"Sometimes a little. When I'm working it gets a little sore. But the cuts are all better. They're just scars now."   
  
"Did you tell that Physical Therapist it hurts sometimes?" Roger asked her. 

"Yes." Cass smiled at him. She loved the way he worried about her and Collin. It was one thing when she first cut herself, but now, almost four months later he was still worried about it. Now it was all healed and she was even done with physical therapy, but he still worried. As if Roger didn't have bigger, more important problems to worry about. 

"Can you feel that yet?" He asked her, running his fingernail over the big scar on her wrist and hand. 

"Some of it, sort of. The doctor said the scars may always be a little numb."   
  
"I'm glad you're all better Mommy."   
  
"Me too." 

"Me too." Roger told her, intertwining their fingers as he kissed the back of her neck. He brought their hands up and kissed each of her fingers. "Me too."   
  
After a while Mark came back outside. "Hey Rog, Izzy found the poker chips. You want to play cards?" When he didn't answer, Mark came closer in the dark. 

They were all still in the hammock. Roger, still holding Cass' hand, had his arm wrapped around both Cass and Collin. All three of them were sound asleep


	96. 96

A/N Okay just to let you all know, my husband deployed yesterday, so Collin and I will be out of town for the next few weeks visiting my grandparents in Florida! I'm going to try and update as often as I can, but my grandmother doesn't have a regular computer. It's more of a mini computer whatever that means? Anyway, I'll get at least one chapter up a week even if I have to go to their friend's house to do it. But if the updates aren't as often as they have been, sorry.

To Leah- Sorry, we don't really discuss Mark's visits with the shrink. It's just sort of implyed.

To Amy, Becca and Mari – You think that about Maureen huh? Hmmmm, who knows? Guess you'll have to read to find out.

Again, with me being out of town, I don't know if I'll be able to make Author Notes, but I can still check my email so if you need to know something, be sure to leave me your email address!

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Kelby

Chapter 96

"So what else did you do with Uncle Mickey yesterday?" Roger asked as he unlocked the front door to the building, letting Collin in. 

"Um, we just went to the park." He shrugged. "And his girlfriend came with us."   
  
"Sarah?" 

  
"Uh huh." He nodded, climbing the stairs. "She bought me ice cream."   
  
"That sounds like fun."   
  
"Uh huh. And you should see the place she works at!" Collin told him with big eyes. 

"Uncle Mickey took you there?" Roger asked amazed. 

"Uh huh." Collin grinned. 

  
"Is he out of his mind? Remind me to have a talk with your Uncle Mickey."   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Well, just because." He told him. Because if your mother finds out that idiot took her seven-year-old to an S & M shop that does tattoos and piercings as well, she'd kill him. Then she'd probably come after me just for good measure.

"Why?"   
  
"Because Mommy wouldn't be all that happy to know Uncle Mickey took you there. So if you want to keep Uncle Mickey out of trouble, and me too, you won't mention it to her."   
  
Collin laughed. "Okay Daddy."   
  
Roger unlocked the apartment door, still amazed at Mickey's stupidity. As he opened the door he heard the familiar "fawap" sound of Mark's projector as the tail end of a reel of film spun around.

"Fawap, fawap, fawap."   
  
Roger looked around and saw Mark, asleep on the couch. At first he started to laugh, thinking back to the old days when Mark was always running that thing. Suddenly he realized Mark hadn't moved. As he looked around her saw about eight empty beer cans. He realized Mark wasn't just asleep, he was passed out.

He knew something had to be really wrong. Mark hardly ever really drank unless it was a really good party or something. Especially not at only four in the afternoon. And he never drank alone, much less enough to pass out. He got a really bad feeling about the whole thing. Roger knew it had to have something to do with Maureen. He hated the idea of her being up to her old ways again. She better not of cheated on Mark. Not after all this time. If she had, he'd make her regret it. 

"What's Uncle Mark watching?"   
  
"Huh?" Collin broke him out of his thoughts. "Um, I don't know. Looks like work stuff." He looked from Collin to Mark and back again. "Hey how would you like to go visit Aunt Jen and the baby? Do your homework there. Maybe have dinner with them? I need to talk to Uncle Mark."   
  
"I guess." 

  
"What's the matter?" He asked leading him back down the stairs to the second floor. "You used to love going to Aunt Jen and Uncle Rich's? And you love the baby."   
  
"I know, except she's a girl."   
  
Roger laughed. "True Emily is a girl. But someday you may appreciate that." Jen opened the door when he knocked. "Hey. I need a favor. Can he stay here for awhile?"   
  
"Sure. What's going on?"   


"I don't know yet. It's Mark. I'll call you later. Bye Collin."   
  
"Bye Daddy."   
  
Roger headed back upstairs. "Mark. Markie, wake up." He shook his shoulder. 

"Hey…"   
  
"Hey." Roger cleared a spot on the couch and sat down next to him. "What is going on?"   
  
"Nothing."   
  
"Then why are you passed out on my couch, drinking all my beer and watching old footage of…" he picked up the film can lid, "Mo's hedgehog performance?"   
  
Mark slouched back against the couch and turned away from Roger. 

"Mark…"   
  
Mark reached for his beer and drank down what was left. 

"Marky?"   
  
"We thought she was pregnant." He told him, still not turning around. 

"Mo's pregnant? That's good right?"   
  
"But she's not." Mark turned to look at him, tears filling his blue eyes. "They didn't know what it was for awhile."   
  
"What do you mean?" Roger was confused, but suddenly felt bad thinking Maureen had gone back to her cheating ways. "Is she sick?" He felt the pit of his stomach drop out. 

"Rog, she's got cancer." Mark told him unable to hold back the tears that had formed, now rolling down his cheeks.   
  
"Oh God." Roger leaned back out of shock. "But what does her doctor say? And where is she? And where's Cass?"   
  
"She's with Cass. She came and met us after Mo's appointment. They went out to talk."   
  
"Well what did her doctor say?"   
  
"That they'll give her chemo and radiation. And that none of it may actually work."   
  
"Oh God Mark." He pulled him close into a hug as Mark started to sob. Roger didn't know what else to do so he just held him. "It'll be okay Mark. It's got too."   
  
"What if it's not Rog? What if she dies?" He started crying harder. "I can't take it. Not Mo. Not--" He cut himself off as he spoke.

"You mean not Mo too."   
  
Mark sat there silently for a minute, before wiping his eyes. "Yeah, not Mo too." 

******************

Roger rolled over, pulling Cass closer to him in the dark. He just laid there, breathing in the sent of her shampoo. He couldn't stop his brain from spinning in a thousand different directions. He listened to Cass breath for a few minutes. "Baby you awake?" He whispered. 

"Of course I'm awake. I was beginning to think I'd never fall asleep again." She rolled over into his arms. 

"God I can't believe this is happening."   
  
"I know. I think Mo's in shock. How was Mark doing?"   
  
"Mark's a mess. What else." He played with her hair, listening to her breath. 

  
"Roger I hate this."   
  
"I know. It's not fair."   
  
They laid there in the dark for a few minutes. Finally Roger heard her swallow a sob. "Come on Baby, don't cry. Please."   
  
"But it's not fair Roger." She sobbed. "Lot's of things aren't fair. It's not fair Mark and Mo were finally able to work it out to something as good as what they have now. It's not fair that Mo's sick. Or that Collins is sick. Or that, you know." She wiped at her face, looking up at him. 

  
"I know Baby." He stroked her hair. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."   
  
They laid there like that in the dark. Cass let Roger just hold her for a long time before she spoke again. "I got a phone call the other day. It was one of the counselors at Life Support."   
  
"Uh huh?"  
  
"They called to tell me they were starting a new group. One for kids. Kids Collin's age."   
  
Roger ran his fingers though his hair, listening to her. He pulled her closer before he spoke. "I think it's a good idea for him."   
  
"You do?"   
  
He let out a long sigh. "Yeah I do. Look, Collins is going to die someday. And I'm gonna die someday. Both of which is bad enough, but if Mo's really that bad, that just makes it all worse. Someday his whole world is gonna start falling apart. Maybe this'll make it a little easier on him." He paused for a second. "And you."   
  
At that she started crying again. "Roger…"   
  
"Shhhh Baby." He squeezed her close. "I love you Cass. I really love you." He kept telling her that until they both finally fell asleep.

****************

Roger pulled his jacket tighter around him as he walked in the dark. He reached the park and looked around. He knew what he was looking for and found it right away. The guy near the building on the far side. The one with the little group of kids standing off to the side. Roger didn't know him, but knew well enough who he was. The kid that had been talking to him finished up and rejoined his friends as they hurried out of the park. Roger waited till they were all gone and started to walk over. 

What the hell are you doing here Davis? You must be out of your mind. No, it's because you're the only one thinking that's why you're here. Mark just doesn't get it. This is going to make it better. He knew that. He knew it would make it better. But if he knew he was so right, why did he feel so crappy?

Why did you have to yell at Collin before you left? You shouldn't have yelled at the poor kid. He told himself. All he wanted to do was go with you. He didn't understand. He's just a kid. He heard you tell Maureen you were going to the park. That this would make it better. He didn't understand and you had to yell at him. You big idiot.

He walked over to the man. "Hey." 

"Hey." He looked around, checking out Roger. 

"I need something." 

"Yeah? And you think I can help you with that?" 

"Yeah I do." Roger flashed him the twenty-dollar bill. "Give me two dime bags." 

The guy looked around again. "Yeah okay." He took the money from Roger. "You sure you don't want anything else? Something a little stronger?" 

"No, just the dime bags." Roger realized he was starting to sweat. This was all just a little too familiar.

"You sure? You look like you could use something else." 

  
"Are you gonna give'em to me or do I gotta go somewhere else?"   
  
"Okay, okay, relax." He reached into his pocket. "You used to hang out in the park didn't you? Yeah. I remember you. When I was working for Tommy. Yeah." He got an evil grin. "You were a good customer." 

"Whatever." Roger waited. 

"Yeah Tommy's upstate. Seven years. So I sort of inherited his business." He grinned again watching Roger fidget and sweat. "You know I can take care of that for you. Set you up. First one's a freebie. Considering you used to be a preferred client and all." 

"No thanks, just the dime bags." 

"It's no problem. Tommy would have wanted me to do that for you. He's got another three years to go on his sentence."

"Look I didn't come here for some family reunion. Just give me the damn stuff already."   
  
"Okay, okay. Don't get so touchy. Just telling you is all. Seeing as how you're back on the client list and all."   
  
"It's a one time thing." He was getting pissed. "Just give it to me." 

The man reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out two dime bags, handing them to Roger. "Here. Like I said, first one's on me." He told him as he handed him a third bag. 

Roger just looked at the bag of white powder for a second. He felt it in his hand. He knew everything this idiot was telling him was the truth for the most part. It would make everything better. For awhile at least. But then after. After everything would be so much worse. So, so much worse. "Forget it!" He tossed the white bag of powder back at him as he started to walk out of the park. "Don't do me any favors." 

He realized he was almost running and slowed down some. He hadn't expected to feel that way when he went in there. Truthfully, he hadn't expected it to bother him all that much at all. He figured he was past that. Hoped he was at least. Of course yelling at Collin over it earlier hadn't helped his state of mind any. The sound of his boots thudding up the steps echoed through the quiet apartment building.

Collin heard him come in and was peaking out of his bedroom door at him as he walked into the apartment. Roger noticed, but couldn't bring himself to speak to him just yet. He wanted to do this and get it over with first. He walked into Mark and Maureen's bedroom and closed the door behind him. Jen was sitting on the bed with Maureen's head in her lap. "Did you get it?"   
  
"Yeah, I got it." He told her, sitting down in the chair and picking up a large book off the floor to use as a table in his lap. 

"Mark's going to have a fit if he finds out you went there." Maureen told him.

"Mark will get over it." Roger told her, trying not to notice how pale yet green she looked at the same time. He laid out the papers and was just starting to sprinkle the pot onto it when he heard Collin calling for him at the door. "Shit!" He whispered. As if this night could get any worse. "Yeah hold on Collin, I'll be out in a minute." 

"But…" 

"Just hold on!" He yelled at him. Damn! Here he was yelling at Collin again.

"Okay." 

Roger could almost hear the tears forming in his eyes. Great. This is just perfect he thought as he finished rolling the joint. "Here." He handed it to Jen who lit it for Maureen. "I'll roll the rest later. My mom said it should make you feel a lot better. At least a lot less nauseous." 

"Thanks." She said quietly as he walked out the door, closing it behind him. 

He looked around and saw Collin sitting at the dining room table, his head resting on his arms. "Collin?" He looked up at Roger and he could tell he'd been crying. "Hey." 

"Hey." He sniffed. 

"Look I'm sorry I yelled at you. I didn't mean it. You just couldn't come with me before for. And a few minutes ago, well, I shouldn't have yelled. I'm sorry. I just had to take care of something for Aunt Mo." 

"It's okay." He sniffed again. 

"No it's not." He hugged him. "It's been pretty rough around here lately hasn't it? Everybody acting kinda weird?"   


Collin nodded.

"Yeah, it's just with Aunt Mo being sick and all it's kinda got everybody a little freaked out. How you doing?" 

"I'm okay." He looked up at Roger. "If she's taking medicine, how come it's making her so sick?"   
  
"Well, the medicine does that. But it'll help her get better. And then everybody else will start acting normal again.

"I know."

"Look I'm sorry I yelled at you." 

"I know."

Roger heard Maureen coughing on the smoke in the other room. God today was a miserable day. "How about you and me do something this week. Just me and you. After school one day. You pick."   
  
"Really?"   
  
"Yes really." He told him as Mark walked in the door. 

"Hey. How's Mo?" He asked Roger

"She's in your room." Roger told him. 

Mark walked into his room. It only took a second before he heard Mark yelling at Jen and going on about letting Maureen do that and letting Roger go to the park.

"What's wrong with Uncle Mark?" Collin asked. 

Roger let out a long sigh. "He's just really stressed out. Hey why don't you go play downstairs for awhile. With the baby?"

  
"Okay." He smiled before sniffing the air. "What's that smell?"

"Yeah, um, lets go. Now. Aunt Jen really wanted you to go play with the baby and Uncle Rich for awhile."   
  
"Okay. But what smells? Is Aunt Mo burning something?"

"Yes. I mean no." He shook his head. "I mean let's go. Now." He stood up, pulling Collin along with him out the door as Mark continued yelling. Roger took him down to Rich and Jen's apartment on the second floor and left him with Rich and the baby. He started back up the steps, but could still hear Mark going on when he got to the apartment door. Realizing he wasn't up to dealing with Mark, why he was going off as well as everything else, he went back down to the third floor to Jason and Collins apartment.

"What's up?" Collins asked him as he opened the door. 

"I can't go back up there." He told him, coming through the door. "I can't do it." 

"Sure you can. That's where your bed is." He laughed for a moment. When he realized Roger wasn't finding any of this funny he stopped. "What's going on?"

"Oh you mean other than yelling at my kid so I can take a way to familiar walk to the park to buy pot for Mo so she'll stop throwing up from her chemo. A suggestion from my mother no less which really isn't making me feel any better. Then there's the part about rolling joints in her room while yelling at my kid again, not to mention lying to him. Oh and now Mark's home and last I heard he was ripping Jen a new one for a letting Maureen smoke, which by the way is supposed to make her feel better, and for letting me go to the park by myself as if I couldn't handle doing that. Like I'm some six year old." He ranted on. 

"Oh and then there's my former drug dealers former employee who by the way has now taken over the business due to the fact that Tommy is doing like seven years or something like that he told me when he remembered me and oh, offered to let me back into my bad habits. For free the first time of course. And for just a moment it really sounded like a good idea." He threw himself down in a chair and kicked his feet down hard on the coffee table.

"So in other words, you've had just a peachy day." He said sitting back down on the couch.  
  
"Hmph!" 

"You gotta relax Roger. Everybody's just a little stressed out."   
  
"I can't go back up there."   
  
"So you wait awhile." 

"Ever. I can't go back up there ever." 

"Eventually you'll want your guitar. Not to mention your wife." He told him, starting to cough.

"Ha ha." He rolled his eyes at Collins. 

"Look there's going to be a lot of crappy days around here. But there's gonna be a lot of good ones too. So relax. And stop worrying about yelling at Collin. And Mark will relax eventually. You know him, if he's not worried about you, he doesn't know what to do with himself. And right now he's got more than his usual share of stuff to worry about."

"I was trying to help you know? I couldn't stand just watching her puke like that and be so miserable." He closed his eyes as he leaned back against the chair.

"I know. Mark will too. He's just dealing with a lot of stuff." Collins stood up and blew his nose. "Where's Collin?" 

"Downstairs with Rich and the baby." 

"I should go rescue Jen then. When is Cass going to be home?"

"Yoga ends at nine. She and Leslie are usually home by 9:30."

"Okay. Jason should be home soon. Stay here if you want." He stood up to walk to the door but stopping to cough again.

"Are you okay?" Roger asked him. 

"Yeah. It's just a cold. You know me."

  
"Yeah. I know you." He told him, leaning back against the chair and closing his eyes again. He listened to him for a second before speaking. "Collins?" He asked, never opening his eyes. "Do you ever think about it?" 

"What?"

He sat up some. "You know, dying. I guess I don't mean dying, as much as leaving everybody behind. I mean when Mimi died, I thought that was it. And I remember Mark. And you when Angel died. And now Mo's sick. And you and me…" 

"I know what you mean. You can't dwell on it though. Apparently that's Mark's job, even though everyone tries to get him to give it up." 

"I just hate the whole thing." He stared down at his feet. 

"I know. I mean you're not supposed to like the whole idea Roger. Look, hang out down here for awhile. I'll check on Collin, make sure Mark's calmed down. Just sit. Don't think, just sit." 

"Yeah. Thanks." He told him, laying his head back against the couch. 

A/N To Amy, Becca and Mari (and everyone else) – Did I get you? You know it couldn't be that easy! Just make Maureen pregnant! What fun would that be? Don't hate me! I'm sorry, but it had to be done.

Okay I admit, I've thrown way more than my share of tear jerkers into this. But it just seems to work so well! Oh I guess you'll have to wait and see what happens! I'm definitely more of an angst type writer.

Thanks you guys! Love you all for sticking with me this long!

Kelby


	97. 97

A/N Real quick before AOHell kicks me out again,  
  
Mari - What Maureen has isn't exactly relavent to the plot. I didn't want to take away from that with the details, so I purposely left that vague. Sorry. But now you can make up your own details to go along with it!  
  
Becca - No, Collin is not HIV+. He's not really Roger's remeber? He's Cass's bastard step cousin's! I know, it's been a long, long time. (Almost 16 months!) But I love the fact that you are still with me!  
  
I love the fact that everybody is still with me! I realized just before I left, I only have about three more chapters that need to be typed up. When I realized that I almost cried. I told my husband with tears in my eyes and he looked at me like I was nuts! Oh well, he just doens't understand what's gone into this. Plus what I've gotten out of it! Both from the writing and from all of you. Thank you guys so much. When this does end (and it is quickly approaching) it will be the end of some sort of personal era!  
  
Kelby  
  
Chapter 97  
  
Roger kicked at the door while struggling to hold all the grocery bags.  
  
"Hey." Jason said, taking some of the bags from him. "Thanks for picking some stuff up for us. Is this all for us?"  
  
"No, some of it's for us too. I just got a little of everything." He set the bags down on the table. "Shopping isn't really my thing. It's more of Mark and Cass thing, so I don't know if I got what you wanted or not."  
  
"Don't worry about it." Jason said, peering into bags.  
  
"The kid okay?"  
  
"Yeah he's been great. Collins is helping him with his homework." Jason handed him a soda from the fridge.  
  
"Thanks." Roger leaned against the counter. He could hear Collin laughing in the bedroom as Jason moved around the kitchen. Watching him for a moment he suddenly realized how tired Jason looked. Tired. Worn down. Old. Yeah that was it. Jason suddenly was looking way older then he used to. Watching someone you love die will do that to you. "How's he doing?" He almost whispered as he nodded his head towards the bedroom.  
  
As if on cue they could hear Collins' deep racking cough. A frown crossed Jason's face. "About as good as he sounds. He still won't go to the doctor. Says all they'll do is put him in the hospital and he's not ready to just sit in a hospital and rot away."  
  
"Oh." Roger didn't know what to tell him. He understood Jason's feelings perfectly well. He went through the same thing with Mimi. All he wanted was to make her better. For her to get just the slightest better for a little bit longer. And he knew that wouldn't happen at home, only in the hospital. But at the same time, he understood Collins feelings completely too. The last thing he wanted to do was rot away in some hospital.  
  
"Sorry I didn't mean to dump on you Rog." Jason said, turning away as he spoke.  
  
"Don't worry about it. Listen if him coming down here is too much, just say so."  
  
"Oh no, he's great. Collins loves it when he hangs out down here. I do too." He paused and looked first at the floor then at the ceiling. Everywhere but at Roger. "You know, for all that kid has had to deal with and knows, he's still a kid. He's still got that little kid innocence. He doesn't automatically ask how Collins is doing or if we need anything or the usual stuff like that. And I know everybody means well, and well that's an adult thing. It's just kind of nice to have somebody walk through that door everyday and the most important thing they have to tell you is the latest fart joke they heard in school." Finally he managed to look at Roger while he spoke. "He makes him laugh and he makes him happy. Which is good." He managed a small smile.  
  
"Yeah, he's real good for that." Roger agreed, nodding more at the floor than Jason.  
  
"And hey, who knew there were so many fart jokes?" He let out a little laugh.  
  
Roger laughed a little as well. "Yeah, who knew. But like I said, just say something if he starts getting in the way." Roger walked in to the bedroom. Collins was sitting up on the bed with a bunch of pillows propping him up. As Roger stepped through the door another coughing fit seized Collins, who waved at him while trying to get his breath.  
  
"Hey Daddy!" Collin looked up from where he sat on the bed.  
  
"Hey Buddy. You bothering Uncle Collins?" Roger asked, looking at Collins who grinned and shook his head.  
  
"No way! He's helping me with my homework."  
  
"Helping you or doing it for you?" Roger teased, sitting on the bed.  
  
"Do I look anything like you and Mark?" Collins joked. "I'm a teacher remember? I don't do his homework for him like you two suckers."  
  
Roger laughed, picking up a piece of paper with everyone's name and birthday written on it. "What are you doing?"  
  
"I gotta make a family tree."  
  
"Oh that'll be interesting." Roger said sarcastically to Collins, who started to laugh, causing him to cough again.  
  
"That's what I thought." He told him, taking a sip of water Roger handed him from the table.  
  
"But I need help. It's not working like the one we looked at in school."  
  
"Yeah, um I figured he should really have you help him with this."  
  
"Great. Thanks a lot." He pulled Collin over into a headlock hug. "Okay, well get your stuff. I'll help you as soon as we get upstairs. Uncle Mark has an appointment and he doesn't want to leave Aunt Mo alone."  
  
"She have chemo today?"  
  
Roger nodded, helping Collin shove his papers in his book bag.  
  
"Okay. Bye Uncle Collins." He gave him a hug before walking out to the living room to find Jason.  
  
"We'll see you later tonight. You need anything?"  
  
"No." He coughed. "I'm fine." He tried to smile.  
  
"Right." Roger understood what he meant. "Okay, well I gotta figure out how to explain a very twisted family tree."  
  
"Have fun!"  
  
"Whatever." Roger took Collin upstairs. Once they checked on Maureen and Mark left, he sat down at the table. "Okay, let's finish your homework before Mommy gets home."  
  
"Where is Mommy?" He asked, pulling out his papers.  
  
"She's got a new client, so sometimes she has to go work at his company for awhile. Now what's wrong with your homework?"  
  
"It doesn't work like the one in school."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well," he looked at his paper, "Uncle Patrick's your brother right?"  
  
"Yeah, he's my older brother and Uncle Mickey's my little brother."  
  
"Right, but what about Uncle Mark? Where does he fit in?"  
  
"Um, he sorta doesn't. He's not really your uncle Collin."  
  
"Yes he is." Collin stated matter a factly.  
  
"Well, yeah, he's your uncle, but he's not really related to you."  
  
"But he's still our family. Mommy says he's our family."  
  
Roger just listened to him. He couldn't get over how honest he sounded. And how innocent and naïve and young at the same time. He knew he needed to be reassured of all that, especially with everything going on right now. "Yes. You're right. Uncle Mark is family."  
  
"Well what about Aunt Mo? And Uncle Collins and Uncle Jason? And Aunt Jen and Uncle Rich?"  
  
"Yeah, they're all your family. Go ahead and put them on your tree. We'll figure it out. Okay?"  
  
"Uh huh." Collin wrote some stuff down.  
  
"Okay, what else?"  
  
"Well, if Grandma and Grandpa are your parents why do they have a different last name then us?"  
  
Roger had to think for a second. It never occurred to him that Collin didn't realize Larry was actually his stepfather. "Well, that's because Grandpa Larry isn't really my dad. He's my stepdad. He married Grandma when I was in high school."  
  
"Oh." Collin excepted this without question. That he understood. Lot's of kids at school had stepparents. It was a lot more common than the strange extended family he had. "So if Grandpa Larry's not your dad, who is?"  
  
Ewww. Roger thought. How did he know that question was coming? "Well, his name's Jack. He wasn't a very nice guy. Not to me, or Uncle Mickey or Uncle Patrick. Especially not to Grandma."  
  
"So what happened to him? Doesn't anybody ever see him?"  
  
"I haven't see him since before you were born. I don't know about Uncle Patrick or Uncle Mickey, but I know it's been a long time."  
  
"Why?"  
  
The never ending questions that only Collin could ask. "Because he's just not a nice person and I didn't want him around you or Mommy. That's why we don't see him or talk to him."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Good. Saved. End of Jack questions he hoped. "Anything else?"  
  
"No." Collin kept writing. "Oh wait, yeah." He looked up at Roger. "What happened to Mommy's mom and dad?"  
  
Roger rested his chin on his hand. He should have know that was too easy. "Mommy's mom died a long time ago. When she was little. Younger than you."  
  
"So who took care of Mommy? Her dad?"  
  
"Yes, sort of."  
  
"So where is here dad?"  
  
"He's either in California or Europe."  
  
"Doesn't Mommy ever see him?"  
  
"No not really. She talks to him on the computer sometimes."  
  
"Doesn't she want to see him?"  
  
"No, I don't think she does. It's easier for them if they just stay away from each other. They didn't always get along real well. Lots of stuff happened."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
Uh oh. "Um, just stuff. Mommy didn't have the easiest time growing up. Her dad was gone a lot and she was stuck all alone." Close enough to the truth.  
  
"Does she miss her mom?"  
  
"Yes, I think she does."  
  
"What about her dad?"  
  
"I don't know. Maybe sometimes."  
  
"Do you miss your dad?"  
  
"No, I don't."  
  
"Not at all?"  
  
"No, like I said, he wasn't very nice and I wouldn't want him around you."  
  
"Oh." Collin thought about all this for a second. "Daddy?"  
  
"What kiddo?"  
  
"I'm glad you and Mommy are here."  
  
"What do you mean?" Roger asked.  
  
"I'd just be real sad if you weren't. Like Mommy. Or like you an your dad. I'm glad you're here. And Uncle Mark and everybody."  
  
"Me too Buddy." He pulled him over onto his lap, hugging him. "Me too. Now lets finish your homework before Mommy comes home."  
  
*****************  
  
Roger opened the front door letting Collin in. Silently they started up the stairs toward the loft. When they reached the third floor Collin finally spoke.  
  
"Mommy's gonna be pissed, isn't she?"  
  
"Don't say 'pissed'." Roger told him, continuing up the stairs.  
  
"But she's gonna be, right?"  
  
"Well, yeah, but she'll be more pissed if she hears you saying 'pissed'."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Roger unlocked the loft door. "Look, you're still in trouble, but don't worry about Mommy. Okay?"  
  
"What kind of trouble?" Collin asked with big, pathetic eyes.  
  
"I don't know. I gotta talk to Mommy. Just go hang out in your room for awhile."  
  
"Okay." He sat his backpack down on the table, looking towards Mark and Maureen's room. "Can I go see Aunt Mo instead?"  
  
Roger looked up and realized the TV was on in their room. "Yeah. But if she's sleeping, don't wake her up."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Roger threw down his keys and headed toward his room, dropping his jacket on the bed. The shower was running and he called into the bathroom. "Hey Baby, we're home." He kicked off his boots. "I hope you had a better day than I did, cause I gotta talk to you."  
  
He pulled off his shirt, throwing it on the floor next to the hamper. As he pulled off his jeans he heard the shower turn off. "Hey Baby leave the water on. I gotta take a shower, don't you want some company?" He asked her mischievously.  
  
"Not from you loser!" Mark laughed, ripping the shower curtain open as he stepped out in a towel.  
  
"Jackass! What the hell are you doing in here?" Roger fell back on the bed in his boxers and threw a pillow at him, while cracking a grin.  
  
"Cass hung some of Mo's laundry to dry in our shower." He laughed, pulling on his boxers.  
  
"Great." Roger rolled his eyes. "Where is Cass?"  
  
"She went for a run. So what happened? He following in your footsteps? Already suspended in the third grade?" Mark asked, flopping next to him on the bed.  
  
"How'd you know about that?"  
  
"Apparently, when the fight broke out, Mattie was near Krystal, who grabbed him, just before he could jump in to help Collin. She called Cass. Especially after Collin begged the principle to call you instead of her."  
  
"Ratted out by his best friend's mom. Ouch. But at the same time, it seems strangely familiar." Roger laughed.  
  
"Yeah, a little bit." Mark laughed. "Of course Krystal teaching there now makes it a little different. I mean, it's part of her job."  
  
"As opposed to just being a pain in the ass busy body simply as a hobby like someone else?" Roger teased him.  
  
"Yeah well." Mark grinned, thinking back to his mom when they were younger. "So what did his principal say? He suspended?"  
  
"Not exactly. After talking to me she decide instead of suspending him he's got to write her a letter explaining why he got into the fight and how he could have handled the situation better. And he's gonna stay home with me tomorrow. She called it a mental health day."  
  
"Impressive. So his permanent record won't be scarred." Mark said sarcastically. "So what did you tell her that kept him from getting suspended?"  
  
"She said he seemed overly sensitive for him lately and wanted to know if anything different was gong on at home." He answered dryly.  
  
"Oh." His eyes dropped to the comforter. "So what did you tell her?"  
  
Roger sighed, throwing his arm over his face. "That there was nothing big going on. Just the usual you know. You and Mo moved back in with us. That Mo's sick, and all her hair fell out, which freaked him out. That Collins is in the hospital dying. Oh and that he spends his Wednesday nights at little kid Life Support meetings."  
  
"Oh." Mark could hear the pain in Roger's voice. He didn't know how to make him feel better. He didn't know how to make either of them feel better about all that. "So what was he fighting about anyway?"  
  
"I don't know exactly. He wouldn't really say and I didn't push him on it yet. I figured I'd ask him again tomorrow. Something with some snot nose, pain in the ass fifth grader."  
  
Mark cracked a grin. He did hear that though, and he knew which buttons to push. "Bummer. Good thing the fight got broken up before Collin got hurt."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Roger rolled over on his elbow.  
  
"Well you know, I mean nobody wants Collin getting beat up by some snot nose, pain in the ass fifth grader."  
  
"He wasn't getting beat up!" Roger got defensive, jumping up to a sitting position. "He popped that kid right upside the head."  
  
"Oh come on Rog, he's only in third grade. No way he could take on a fifth grader, unless of course it's some scrawny girl or something."  
  
"So what are you saying? My kid's a whimp?"  
  
"No, of course not, it's just that he's well a little kid."  
  
"Uh huh." Roger eyed him.  
  
"Who's maybe a little, well, over protected by the numerous parental types that surround him."  
  
"Loser!" Roger laughed, diving at Mark. "He got Mark in a head lock and started rubbing his knuckles back and forth on Mark's head. "He's not some whimpy little four eyed, momma's boy who needed his best friend to get him out of trouble all the time!"  
  
"You guys do realize it's scenes like this, when people find you wrestling on a bed in your underwear that makes people wonder about the two of you." Cass laughed from the doorway.  
  
"Ha ha." Mark tried to laugh, but couldn't get quit enough air due to Roger's headlock and the fact that he was leaning on his chest. "Tell him to get off me!" He gasp.  
  
"Roger let him go, you're gonna hurt him."  
  
"Okay." He climbed off of Mark and reached a hand out to her, pulling her onto the bed, half on his lap, half between him and Mark. "Hey Baby." He kissed her.  
  
"Hey. I'm all sweaty. I just got done running."  
  
"I like you when you're all hot and sweaty." He grinned.  
  
"Oh please!" Mark rolled his eyes. "Try and remember there is a third person in the room!"  
  
"You could leave you know?" Roger told him pulling Cass close and kissing her neck.  
  
"Or you could tell me all about your meeting with the principal."  
  
"No big deal Babe, really."  
  
"Uh huh." She looked over her shoulder at him. "And you don't have to act so proud of him for beating up a fifth grader."  
  
"Ewww, busted." Mark laughed.  
  
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'll tell you all about it later."  
  
"Uncle Mark?" Collin called from the other room.  
  
"In here."  
  
"Uncle Mark, Aunt Mo wants to lay in the living room and she needs you to help her get up." He told them from the doorway.  
  
"Okay, I'm coming." Mark said, getting off the bed and heading to Maureen.  
  
"Am I in big trouble?" Collin asked from the doorway.  
  
"Not yet." Roger said at the same time Cass said "Yes."  
  
She gave Roger a look. "We'll talk about it later."  
  
"Okay. Can I play my guitar?"  
  
"Yes, go ahead." Cass told him before turning back to Roger as Collin left. "I need to go take a shower." She said standing up.  
  
"Well now that I know you're not Mark, do you want some company?"  
  
"What?" Cass asked, thoroughly confused.  
  
"Nevermind." Roger laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist, lifting her up as he carried her, laughing into the bathroom. By the time Cass finished getting dressed, Roger was already in the living room with Mark and Maureen.  
  
"Okay, I'm ready. Are we going to grab something to eat on the way to the hospital?"  
  
"Yeah. Collin you want pizza or tacos?"  
  
The guitar playing stopped. "Um, pizza."  
  
Cass looked past the kitchen and dining room area to where the old metal table sat against the wall. "Collin get off that table."  
  
"But I'm practicing."  
  
"Well practice off the table!"  
  
"But Daddy sits up here."  
  
With her hands on her hips she gave Roger a look.  
  
"Collin get off the table!" Roger yelled at him while pulling Cass onto his lap.  
  
"I swear that boy." Cass started.  
  
"The big one or the little one?" Maureen asked.  
  
"Both!"  
  
"Ha ha." Roger squeezed her tight.  
  
"Mo are you coming to the hospital with us?"  
  
"We're gonna try and go later. You guys go ahead and eat. We'll meet you there." She pushed her bandana on her head back some.  
  
"Okay. You feel better?"  
  
"Some. For today at least." Maureen reached up and pulled off the bandana, exposing her bald scalp. "Pookie fix this for me." She handed it to Mark who silently re-tied it.  
  
"Dad this doesn't sound right."  
  
"Play it again."  
  
Collin played the chords again as everyone listened. "See it doesn't sound right."  
  
"It sounds fine." Roger called back to him while playing with Cass' fingers.  
  
"But it doesn't sound like when you do it."  
  
"That's because it's not an electric guitar. That part won't sound the same on an acoustic guitar."  
  
"Oh. So it'll never sound right because I don't have an electric guitar."  
  
"Just keep practicing." Roger called back to him, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Was that a hint for an electric guitar?" Maureen asked, grinning.  
  
"You better believe it." Cass told her.  
  
"Guess he learned his subtlety from you Mo." Mark teased her as he rubbed her neck.  
  
"Very funny. But definitely ballsy on his part."  
  
"What do you mean?" Roger asked.  
  
"Just the fact that he's hitting you up for an electric guitar on the same day he almost gets suspended from school for fighting."  
  
"Guess he learned his timing from you too Mo." Mark laughed, joined by Roger just as the phone started ringing.  
  
"I'll get it." Collin yelled, running for the phone. "Hello? Yeah hold on." He said into the phone before turning towards the living room. "Uncle Mark, the yuppie scum is on the phone."  
  
Both Mark and Cass gave Roger an evil look as Maureen started laughing. Mark walked over and took the phone from Collin.  
  
"Collin get over here!" Roger yelled at him.  
  
"Hey Benny." Mark said meekly. "Yeah well, you know kids. No, no, I know he promised not to call you that anymore, but it wasn't him, it's well like I said, you know kids." Mark shot Roger another look that basically said he owed him for this as he walked with the phone towards his office.  
  
Roger turned back to Collin who was standing next to him now. "Collin are you just looking for trouble today?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, what are you doing? You know better than to call Benny that when he can hear you."  
  
"Roger." Cass said to him as Maureen was cracking up.  
  
"Oh yeah, sorry." He told Cass. "Or when you mom or Uncle Mark can hear you."  
  
"Roger!"  
  
"What? Alright, alright. Collin don't call him that anymore."  
  
"But you said--"  
  
Cass cut him off. "It doesn't matter what your father said before, he's telling you now not to do it again!"  
  
"Okay, I'm sorry."  
  
"Just go get your shoes and jacket. We're leaving to go see your Uncle Collins in a few minutes."  
  
"Okay. I'm sorry." He walked off to his room.  
  
She turned back to Roger. "You are such a bad influence!"  
  
"But you love me for it!" Roger laughed as he started tickling her as Maureen laughed.  
  
"I'm ready." Collin told them walking back in as he pulled on his jacket.  
  
"Okay, let's go." She said, pulling away from Roger and trying to catch her breath. "We'll see you in awhile Mo."  
  
"Okay. Bye guys. Tell Collins and Jason we'll be there soon." 


	98. 98

Chapter 98

Roger rolled over, reached for Cass, but realized she was gone. Even in his still somewhat asleep state he knew that was okay. She was usually up long before him. But something was still bothering him. Something felt strange. Slowly he opened his eyes and he realized what it was. Collin was sitting crossed legged on the far corner of the bed, chin resting on his hands. Staring at him. Roger blinked a few times, bring everything into focus. "What are you doing?"   
  
"Waiting for you to wake up. Mommy said not to wake you up or else."   
  
"Oh." He yawned, stretching out. "Where is Mommy?"   
  
"She went running. She said she was going on a long run and to make sure you take your pills." He tossed the pill bottle to him. 

"I know." Roger grinned at him. He was such a little version of Cass sometimes, the way he worries about him. And Mark too, the way he sits and just watches everyone and everything sometimes. Roger sat up in bed some. "Did you eat breakfast?"   
  
"No." He answered somberly, looking down at the bed sheets. 

"Did you work on your letter to your principal yet?"   
  
"Mommy made me do some more of it this morning. What's a first draft mean?"   
  
"It means Mommy thinks you're not done yet." He smiled at him, but Roger realized something else was bothering him. "What's wrong Collin?" 

He shrugged without looking up. 

"Is it your letter to your principal?"   
  
Collin shrugged again.   
  
Roger rolled over onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. "What did you get into a fight about yesterday Collin?" Roger asked softly.   
  
"I don't know." He said towards the mattress, shrugging again. After a moment he looked up. "Uncle Collins is gonna die soon isn't he?"   
  
Roger sighed. Since Collins went in the hospital a week ago he'd gotten progressively worse. He never wanted to lie to Collin, but he hated having to tell him this stuff. And conversations like these always seemed to happen when Cass was gone and they were alone. "Yeah, he is gonna die soon." He watched him for a second before pushing on. "Does that have something to do with your fight yesterday?"   
  
After a moment Collin looked up at him. "Sort of. I guess."   
  
"Why don't you tell me what happened yesterday?"   
  
Collin sighed. "We got our family tree project back yesterday."   
  
"Uh huh."   
  
"We had to show them to the fifth graders. They had to read them so they could interview us today. That kid Scott read mine."   
  
"So what happened that you started fighting with him?" 

  
"He made fun of my project. Cause of Uncle Mark and everybody that we're not really related to."   
  
"Well, he just doesn't understand our family. It's a little different than a lot of peoples. But that doesn't make it wrong."   
  
"And then he called me a bastard. He said you and Mommy only got married cause of me."   
  
That pissed Roger off. Now he wanted to go and smack that snot nose pain in the ass kid upside the head himself. "That's not true at all."   
  
"But doesn't it take nine months to grow a baby?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"And you only married Mommy five months before I was born."   
  
God this kid is too smart for his own good. "Okay, you're right. Mommy was already pregnant with you when we got married. But none of that is your fault. It was mine. I waited too long to marry Mommy. And that kid's totally wrong. He doesn't even really know what that word means because he's not using it right. You're not a bastard and even if you were, it wouldn't be your fault. Just mine. Okay?" That was close enough to the truth. At least as close as any of them ever wanted Collin getting. 

Collin nodded. 

"Anything else happen?" Roger was almost afraid to ask. 

Collin avoided Roger's eyes and looked down at bed again. 

"Collin?"   
  
"He said a lot of really bad things about Uncle Collins and Uncle Jason."   
  
"Well, that's because he's not very smart, and he doesn't know them. And your Uncle Collins would tell you to just ignore him."   
  
"I know, but he kept saying bad stuff about him. I told him he shouldn't cause Uncle Collins is really sick and in the hospital and might die and he said he deserves it cause he's gay and he said it'll be good when he dies cause it'll be one less faggot."   
  
Roger watched the tears form in Collin's eyes. He sat up and pulled him over to him. "Come here." He hugged him close. "You're right, that was a horrible thing for that kid to say. All of it. And while you probably shouldn't have hit him, I'm real proud of you for sticking up for Uncle Collins and everybody."   
  
"Daddy I don't want Uncle Collins to die."   
  
"I know. I don't either."   
  
"I don't want you to die either." He was crying harder now. 

"I know Buddy. Hopefully it won't happen for a long time, but it's gonna happen someday, I can't help it, I'm sorry, but just because I can't stop it doesn't mean I don't love you."   
  
"Daddy?" He looked up, tears running down his face. "If you die what's gonna happen to me and Mommy?"   
  
"What do you mean?" Roger asked, wiping tears off Collin's face. 

"Who's gonna take care of us? Of me and Mommy? We'll be all alone."   
  
"Oh buddy you'll never be alone."   
  
"But Uncle Collins is gonna die and leave Uncle Jason all alone. And Aunt Mo might die and leave Uncle Mark all alone. And when you die, me and Mommy will be all alone. Like Mommy was after her mom died."   
  
Roger hugged him again. "You'll never be alone Collin. No matter what happens to me or Uncle Collins or even Aunt Mo. You'll always have Mommy, and Grandma and Uncle Patrick and Aunt Shelly and especially Uncle Mark. Uncle Mark will always be there for you and Mommy. I promise. Plus everybody else like Aunt Jen and Uncle Rich, and Uncle Jason and Aunt Joanne."   
  
"But if you die who's gonna teach me how to play electric guitar? And drive a car?" He sobbed. 

Roger smiled at that. "First of all, if Mommy get her way, no matter what, she'll never let me teach you how to drive. She'll make either Uncle Mark or Uncle Patrick do it. And don't worry about playing electric guitar. Okay?"   
  
"But what if--"

"Collin listen to me, you can't worry about all that stuff. Okay? Just worry about today. I don't know what's going to happen, but today's what counts. Don't waste your energy on everything you already did or what's going to happen tomorrow. You gotta just live for today and make it the best you can and everything else will work out in the end. Okay? Just today. A really smart person once told me you gotta believe in that. That there's no day but today. It took me a long time to learn that, but it's the best thing to do. Okay? You understand?"   


Slowly Collin nodded his head. "I think so."   
  
Roger pulled him close and kissed him on the head. What he just told his son kept running through his head. Thank you Mimi. If she hadn't been able to teach him all that, who knows where he'd be today. He most likely wouldn't be here. And he wouldn't have Cass, that's for sure. Or Collin. And for as much as it hurt him to see Collin so upset and knowing what he'll someday have to go through, he realized how much he loved him. 

Roger sat back some, looking at Collin. He made a quick decision. "Know what I want you to do? Go get dressed. You and I are going out. We're gonna go see Uncle Collins, and then were going someplace special. Just you and me."   
  
"Where?" He wiped away the last of the tears. 

"You'll see." He kissed on the head again before starting to get up off the bed. 

"But Mommy said she'd make us waffles when she got back."   
  
"Mommy's waffles come out of the toaster." Roger laughed. "Don't worry. We'll leave her a note. And I'm calling your principal too. I'm gonna tell her about what that kid said to you. You shouldn't have hit him, but what he did was just as wrong. Okay?"   
  
"Okay Daddy." Collin stood up. 

  
"Okay, go get dressed. I gotta talk to Uncle Mark real quick then we're leaving before Mommy gets home."   
  
"Okay Daddy. I love you." Collin hugged him. 

"I love you too." He hugged him back. "Now go get dressed."   
  
Collin smiled and ran off toward his room. 

**************

Mark started to push the front door open with his shoulder, holding the three bags of garbage, when the door suddenly moved and he almost fell out onto the stoop. 

"Sorry Sweetie." Cass laughed. "I was trying to help. That's not all our garbage is it?"   


"No, I brought ours down and Jen caught me in the stairs." He rolled his eyes. 

"You're such a softy." She laughed, lifting the lid off the trashcan for him. 

  
"I think the term you're really looking for is 'sucker'." 

"Oh Sweetie!" She kissed him on the cheek as they started up the stairs. 

"So how did your meeting go?"   
  
"Okay. They've got a huge mess. I can fix it of course."   
  
"Of course." He grinned. 

"But it'll cost them." Cass laughed. 

"Ah, the super business woman that we all know you really are shows it's evil head!" Mark laughed. 

"Oh behave!" Cass giggled. "That evil head feed you if you recall."   
  
"Yeah, yeah. You know I'm just teasing you."   
  
"I know. Speaking of feeding, any chance Roger and Collin stayed out of trouble today and maybe started dinner? I'm starving."   
  
Mark stopped walking just as they started the last flight of stairs to the loft. He reached out and took her hand. "Um Cass, let me talk to you for a second."   
  
"Uh oh. What happened now?" She asked, sounding suddenly tired. 

Mark pulled her down to sit on the steps. "Well nothing happened. It's just… well Roger found out exactly what the fight was about yesterday."   
  
"What was it about?" She asked hesitantly. 

"Well, let Roger explain it to you. He just… look, don't get upset when you get up there. Just remember, he's had a rough couple of days and Roger thought he needed this. Needed today. Roger needed it too."   
  
"Oh God." She sighed. "That poor little kid. What happened?" She slumped against him. 

"He's okay Cass." He put an arm around her shoulder. "They both are. It was just a rough conversation that led to some rough facts and rough conclusions. For both of them."   
  
"So what am I going to find up there?"   
  
"Relax, it's not that bad." Mark smiled. "Just don't freak out when you first go in. Remember, it was all for a good reason."   
  
"Okay." Cass said hesitantly, standing up and continuing up the stairs. As she opened the door she heard the guitar music coming from the area of the dining room. "I'm home."   
  
"Mommy! Come see what I got!" Collin called her from atop the metal table where he and Roger were sitting. 

"Oh-My-God!"

**************

  
  
Later that night, while Mark and Collin were out getting Maureen a movie, Roger was sitting in the living room with Maureen. Cass walked into the room, drinking a beer. She sat down on the arm of Roger's chair. 

"Hey." He pulled her onto his lap. 

  
"Hey." She handed him her beer as she played with his newly bleached hair. 

"So am I in really big trouble?"   
  
She sighed. "No, I guess not. But I thought you wanted to wait another two years before you got him an electric guitar?"   
  
"Well, I do. I mean I did."   
  
"So what suddenly changed?"   
  
"He needed it."   
  
"He needed it today? You couldn't have waited a couple more months till his birthday? Or have done it a few months ago at Christmas?"   
  
Roger ran his hand along her leg. "Okay I didn't think of that, but even if I did, I probably wouldn't have waited."   
  
"That's because you're a giant kid yourself." She teased. 

"That's the truth." Maureen added from the couch. "But seriously Cass, he couldn't wait. The kid needed it today."   
  
"Yeah he did." Roger said, playing with the beer bottle. 

"But-"

"Cass he did." Maureen told her. 

"Look, I had to get it for him. He's had a shitty couple of days."   
  
"But that doesn't mean he should get a new guitar just because of that. You're supposed to be the adult Roger."   
  
"Cass…" Maureen said softly. 

"I had to get if for him okay? He was afraid I'm gonna die on him before he learns everything he thinks he needs to know on an electric guitar. Okay?" Roger spit the words out, regretting saying it, especially like that as the words left his mouth."   
  
Nobody said anything. Maureen kept studying her nails. Cass picked at the label on the beer bottle she had taken back from Roger. Roger kept running his finger over the seam in the thigh of her jeans. Finally he spoke. "I'm sorry." He pulled her close. Almost whispering it into her hair. 

Cass slid an arm around his neck, playing with his hair. "I know. It's okay." She kissed his forehead, still playing with his hair. "But did you have to bleach his hair too?"  
  
"He wanted it. Really." Roger got a small grin. "Besides you used to say you thought my bleached out hair was sexy."   
  
"Sexy on you, not on my eight year old." She teased back. "And getting his ear pierced. That was totally necessary?"   
  
"Yeah Rog," Maureen laughed. "Don't you have enough holes in your head already for the both of you?"   
  
"Ha ha." He stuck his tongue out at her. "You actually should be thanking me." He told Cass. 

"Why?" Cass rolled her eyes.   
  
Roger started to laugh. "You know how he loves Mark's old films of my old band days?"   
  
"Not the Sucky Hungarians." Maureen said sarcastically. 

"Don't you need a nap or something?" He joked back at her.   
  
"Anyway…" Cass tried to get him back on track. 

"Anyway, we were talking and the hair thing came up and lets just say an eight year old with one pierced ear and bleached hair is better than what he originally wanted."   
  
"Oh God…"   
  
"Okay, this I gotta hear." Maureen laughed. "What did he want?"   
  
"Blue hair and to get his eyebrow pierced." Roger laughed. 

"That's it. I'm never leaving you two alone again." Cass tried hard not to laugh.

"Now that would have been fun to see. Marky said the look on your face when you first saw the two of them sitting on that table was priceless." Maureen laughed. "If you had walked in and seen them with blue hair…" she stared laughing. 

"Mo shut up." Cass laughed back before turning back to Roger. "Promise me you'll never dye my baby's hair blue."   
  
"I promise." He leaned over and kissed her. "Besides blue is so early 90's." He laughed, looking at his watch. "I gotta go soon Babe."   
  
"You closing tonight?"   
  
"Yeah. You want to come with me? You haven't poured beers for me in awhile." He gave her Collin's famous pouty face. 

  
"You want me to go hang out in that bar all night? You aren't even bartending." She teased him. 

  
"Hey, I'm the boss remember? At least one of them. Besides…" He leaned in and whispered in her ear with an evil grin. 

"Gross! If he just told you that the two of you could have sex in the keg room or something I don't want to know about it." Maureen made a face.

Cass rolled her eyes at Maureen. 

"No seriously though, if you want to go have sex in the keg room or behind the bar or, yuck," she made another face, "on Izzy's desk or whatever, go ahead. Marky and I'll put the kiddo to bed."   
  
"You know Mo's got some good ideas there." He wiggled his eyebrows at Cass. 

"God I hope you're talking about the babysitting part." Cass grinned. 

"Hey Baby, you can call it whatever you want." He grinned. 

"Oh please." Cass laughed, standing up. "I suppose if I'm going with you, I need to change. You sure you're up to babysitting Mo?"   
  
"What's to be up to? We watch a movie, eat popcorn and he goes to sleep." She shrugged. "Besides tomorrow's Saturday. It's not like he's got anywhere to go tomorrow other than to visit Collins."   
  
"Okay, if your sure Mo." Cass walked into the bedroom to change. 

"Thanks Mo." Roger told her. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just don't come home talking about the sexcapes at the Iguana."   
  



	99. 99

Chapter 99

Roger opened up his jacket and walked along the sidewalk. It was unusually warm for the end of March. Between that and the fact he was trying to hurry home he was starting to sweat. He didn't pay any attention to the cab that pulled over to the curb as he walked past it.

"Roger!" Jen yelled out the cab window as she waved him over. 

"Hey." He climbed in next to Maureen.   
  
"Good I'm glad we saw you. I was just getting ready to call upstairs. Can you get Mo up to the loft so I can go directly to daycare and pick up Emily?"   
  
"Yeah, no problem. How you feeling Mo?"   
  
"Peachy." She told him, slumping against him some. 

  
"Well the good news is she's only got two more weeks of chemo and then she's done with this round. Hopefully for good."   
  
"Good. Give you a month or so and you'll be back to being your regular pain in the ass self. Just in time for summer. Cass says we're all going on vacation again this year. She's going to try and get that same beach house again. She said everybody deserves a good vacation this year."

"Ain't that the truth." Jen mumbled, looking out her window. 

"Sorry you guys had to take a cab. It was just easier with all the different stops we had to make today." Roger told her, referring to the SUV Cass bought when they realized how sick Maureen was. She figured it would be a good thing to have for trips like this for chemo and things. Then Collins got sick and it was convenient for that too.

"It's okay. Easy enough to call ahead. How is my brother?" She asked, still looking out her window.   
  
Roger looked out his own window. "He's doing okay. I had to run by the Iguana and make sure everything was all set for tomorrow. So they've got the car. Mark was helping him finish up so I left. They should be home soon. The cars are going to pick us up at ten tomorrow morning." 

"What about Collins' family?"   


"They're all set. His sister met us there."   
  
Jen nodded as the cab pulled up in front of their building. "Okay." She said sadly. "I'll be back as soon as I get Em from daycare."

"No problem." Roger said, opening the door and helping Maureen out. He watched her color go from the waxy pale to a light greenish as she started to move. Roger put an arm around her waist to help her up the steps. After getting in the front door, he stopped, checking to see if she was okay. He looked down the hall at the freight elevator that Cass had also decided to finally get working after all these years. They had walked the three flights of stairs for so many years that they didn't use it often. When people moved in or out of the building. When someone got some new furniture. Cass did heavy shopping. Or Collins or Maureen couldn't make it up the steps. He didn't expect to be bringing Maureen home, so he didn't have the key to run the elevator with him. "I don't have the key. You want me to run upstairs and get it? Or you want a lift up?" 

"No it's okay. I want to walk. I may just need to take a break here and there." 

"Are you sure you don't want a lift?" 

"I said no!" She snapped at him.

"Okay Mo, whatever you want." As they slowly stated up the stairs he couldn't stop his brain from thinking back to Mimi. He used to carry her up the stairs, just for fun sometimes. Sometimes he'd carry her up piggyback and sometimes she'd try and race him up the stairs. He'd always catch her. They he'd scoop her up and carry her up the rest of the way. Then she got sick. She couldn't make it up the steps. He had to carry her. She was always little and never weight all that much. Once she got sick, she dropped even more weight. 

"Okay, I gotta stop for a minute again." She told him, sitting on the bottom step of the last flight of stairs. "Sorry." She said out of breath. 

"Don't worry about it." He sat down next to her. "When you're ready we'll go upstairs."   
  
"Sounds like there's already something going on upstairs." 

Roger looked up the steps toward the fourth floor. "Yeah, they must have left the door open." He could hear Cass and Collin arguing. 

"Collin I don't want to hear it!" Cass' voice traveled down the stairs. 

"But that's not fair!" Collin whined. 

"Life's not fair!" She snapped back. 

"But Uncle Mickey--"

"I don't care! I don't want to hear it right now!"   
  
"That's not fair!" He pouted. "You know I didn't ask to be your kid!" Collin yelled back. 

"Well I didn't ask for over twelve hour of labor! Now drop it Collin, I've had a really crappy day."   
  
"Daddy will--"

"And your dad's had a crappier day! I guarantee it. So end it. Now!"

Roger stood up. He could hear stomping and first one door slam and then another. "Sorry Mo, I gotta get up there."   
  
She nodded, letting him pull her up. Still somewhat out of breath she put an arm around his neck, letting him pick her up. When they reached the loft, it was quiet. His bedroom door was closed but Collin's was open. Roger pushed the door closed behind him and took Maureen to her room. "You need anything?" He asked her. 

"No." She rolled onto her side, exhausted. 

  
"Daddy?"  
  
Roger looked up and saw Collin at the bedroom door. "Hey kiddo." He gave him a hug. "Why don't you stay in here with Aunt Mo, in case she needs something." Collin nodded and climbed onto the bed when Maureen motioned for him to lay down with her. "I'll talk to you in a little bit. Okay?"   
  
Collin nodded and Roger walked out, heading towards his and Cass' room. "Cass?" He called out to her as he opened the door. The bathroom door was closed as well. "Baby?" He turned the knob, finding it locked. 

"I'll be out in a minute." She called back to him. 

He made a face while reaching up and taking down the key off the top of the doorframe. The door was never locked, but the key had always sat up there since Collin locked himself in the bathroom when he was three. He unlocked the door and opened it. "Baby what are you doing?" He asked softly. 

Cass looked up from her spot on the bathroom floor under the open window. She wiped the tears off her face and took another drag on her cigarette. "Sorry." She said quietly. 

"Oh Baby." He sat down next to her on the floor, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close. "What are you doing?"   
  
"I just needed a cigarette."   
  
"I know." He reached over and took the cigarette from her, bringing it halfway to his lips before thinking better of it and flicking it into the toilet. 

"Damn you former junkies and your willpower." She smiled at him.

He grinned at her, kissing her forehead. "Yeah well, why temp fate more I guess." He played with her hair a few times. "How did today go?"   
  
"Oh, great." She said sarcastically. "I spent too many hour shopping for funeral clothes for an eight year old and something to decently fit Maureen who's lost so much weight I had to go to a junior's department to find her something." She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed.   
  
"What was going on before? With Collin?"   
  
"He just… we just… I don't know. How did you do today? Are you okay?"   
  
Roger sighed, leaning back against the wall. "We got everything finalized. I don't know why Collins made me go. Jason and Mark could have done fine without me."   
  
"Collins didn't want Jason going by himself. Jason needed Mark, and Collins knew Mark would need you."   
  
"I suppose." He kissed her head again. "You know how Collin has been acting weird lately. I mean aside from everything else going on around here lately. But especially about me teaching him that old U2 song? The one Collins really liked? 'Beautiful Day'?

"Yes."   
  
"Well it turns out Collins wanted me and him to play it tomorrow. He must have talked to him about it awhile ago. I guess it was kinda their big secret."   
  
"Oh. Explains a few things." Cass let out a small laugh. 

  
"What do you mean?" He asked, puzzled. 

"Well, the argument before, had to do with getting his tongue pierced."   
  
"Oh God." Roger rolled his eyes. 

"I don't know exactly how it started, but I know it had something to do with something Collins had told him."   
  
"I'll talk to him."   
  
"Oh wait, it gets better." Cass smiled. "Your oh so helpful brother told him his girlfriend would do it for him."   
  
Roger shook his head. "Don't worry I'll talk to Mickey too." He laughed, standing up. "Come on," he pulled her up, "he's in with Mo. Let's go talk to him."   
  
"They walked into Mark and Maureen's room. Collin looked up as they came in, but didn't make eye contact. Roger sat down in the chair and Cass sat on the bed with Collin and Maureen. Just as they sat down, Mark walked in. After checking on Maureen he sat down on the floor next to the bed. He gave them a quick report on how Jason was doing, what happened after Roger left and told them he left Jason downstairs at Rich and Jennifer's. They had a quick discussion about when Joanne would arrive and how Collin was gong to sleep on the floor in Cass and Roger's room so she could stay in his room. 

"Collin come here." Roger said to him when they had finally finished talking about tomorrow. Collin got up and moved over, sitting on Roger's lap. "When did Uncle Collins ask you about playing that song?"   
  
Collin's eyes went to the floor. "A lit bit before he went into the hospital. Maybe a week or two."   
  
"Do you want to do it? Because you don't have to if you don't want to. Nobody's gonna be mad or upset or disappointed if you don't want to. Not us or Uncle Collins. It's up to you."   
  
Collin slowly looked up at Roger. "Will you play it with me?"   
  
"If you wanna do it, I'll do it with you."   
  
"Okay." He got a small grin. "I'll do it. Uncle Collins wanted us to do it."   
  
"I know. I found out today. We'll practice it later okay?" Collin nodded. "Now about getting your tongue pierced…" Roger started to say, trying hard not to laugh. Mark and Maureen both failed at that miserably as both of them started to laugh until Maureen started to cough. 

"But Uncle Collins said I should get my tongue pierced. After we bleached my hair. He said I should get it done and then I'd look like a real rock star when I played that song for him."   
  
"But Uncle Collins was teasing you." Roger explained. 

  
"But…" 

"Collin come here." Maureen motioned t him. He got up and came back over to the bed, sitting down. "He's right, Uncle Collins was just teasing." 

"But he said…" 

Maureen shook her head. "Sorry kiddo. He must have just been joking around with you. Besides, you dad's a real rock star, supposedly." She grinned at Roger. "And he doesn't have his tongue pierced."   
  
"Nope." Roger stuck out his tongue to prove the point. 

Mark winked at Collin and Maureen. "Ask him why he never got his tongue pierced."   
  
"Yeah why?" Collin asked him. 

"Cause you can't sing when your tongues all swollen up and I had a band."   
  
Mark was still grinning. "Ask him why he never did it when he was in between bands."   
  
Collin looked from Mark to Roger, waiting on an answer. 

Roger threw Mark a dirty look, causing Mark to laugh again. He knew there was no getting out of it now.

"Well Davis, you going to tell the poor kid or not?" Mark teased him. 

"I thought about it, but Mimi wouldn't let me. She was afraid it would get infected."   
  
"Liar!" Mark laughed. "Tell the kid the truth."   
  
"That is the truth!"   
  
"That's only part of the truth Collin. It's true, Mimi didn't want him to do it." Maureen told him. 

"Oh you big wimp!" Mark roared. "Tell him or I will!"   
  
Cass had been quietly watching this whole scene play out. "Okay now I'm curious. What's the real reason?"  
  
Roger shook his head. "Fine." He growled at Mark. "I was glad Mimi wouldn't let me get it done."   
  
"Because…" Mark prompted. 

"Because that's gotta really hurt! Okay! Are you happy now? I didn't do it because I wussed out! I mean they hold your tongue with a pair of pliers and shove this metal spike through it. It's a giant needle! It's not like piercing your ear. It's a GIANT needle. And you can see it going in!"   
  
Everybody started laughing. More at Roger's reaction then his reasons. Mark turned back to Collin whose eyes had gotten a little wide. "So you still want your tongue pierced? I mean if your dad won't even do it…"   
  
"Uh uh! No way! Uncle Collins never told me that part!"   
  
"Good that's settled." Roger said, standing up.   
  
"But you're still going to talk to Mickey?" 

Roger laughed. "Yes, I'll talk to Mickey. Make him understand that he needs to be less helpful." He told Cass. "Come on, let's go practice you song for tomorrow."   
  
"Okay." Collin hopped up, following Roger out. 

"I'll go start dinner. Mo you feel like eating yet?"   
  
"Just some toast, but I may need a nap first."   
  
"Alright. I'll make you some and if you fall asleep, I'll just make you more later."   
  
"I'm not hungry." Mark told her. 

"Too bad, cause you're eating."   
  
"Cass…" 

She put her hands on her hips. "You really want to argue with me?"   
  
"Sorry. Meant to say I was starved."   
  
"That's better. I'll bring you in something with Mo's toast in a little bit." Cass tried to smile at them as she walked out. Mark was climbing onto the bed with Mo, talking quietly to her and you could already hear the guitar-playing coming from the other room. 

****************

"Yeah it's okay if you want to stay there." Roger said into the phone. "Okay. Have a good time with Mattie. And don't drive Krystal crazy. Maybe tomorrow before we open up we'll go play. Turn on the big amps. Okay? I'll see you tomorrow. Love ya Buddy. And Collin, you did a really great job today. Uncle Collins would have been impressed." Roger smiled into the phone as he said good bye and hung it up before walking back into the living room. 

  
A few people were still hanging around the loft. He walked back over and sat down by Maureen who was talking to Ginny and Leslie. 

  
"I gotta take off. I've got an early shift at the hospital tomorrow." Ginny stood up, hugging both Roger and Maureen. "I'll see you later."   
  
"Yeah I need to leave too. I told my husband I'd be home an hour ago. Not that he really believed that I'm sure." Leslie stood up as well. "You guys call if you need anything."   
  
"Yeah. Thanks Leslie. We'll see you guys later." Roger told them, hugging Leslie goodbye. After they left to say goodbye to everyone else, Roger picked up his discarded beer from earlier. 

"How's Collin?" Maureen asked. 

"Okay." He shrugged. "He said he and Mattie were 'jammin'." He grinned, sipping his beer. "He's gonna spend the night over there. I told him tomorrow maybe Izzy and I'll take him and Mattie down to the bar in the afternoon. Play with them up on the stage. You know, turn the whole sound system on for them."   
  
"That'll be nice. Maybe Marky and I can come see. I'll take a nap." She sighed. "He did really good today."   
  
"Yeah, he did." Roger stared out the window."   
  
"You both did." 

"Thanks. It's not really that hard a song to play."   
  
"I wasn't really talking about the guitar playing."   
  
"I know." Roger said to her, still looking out the window.   
  
"How you doing?"  
  
Roger shrugged. "I don't know. Okay I guess. I just feel like we've done this way too many times." And we're not done yet he couldn't help but think. 

"I know. That's what Mark was saying." She sighed.   
  
"Where is Mark? And Cass?" He looked around. 

  
"Well, Cass went to go cook some food, and well, seeing as how she's sort of drunk, he thought he better supervise." She let out a small laugh. 

  
"Understandable with her track record." He grinned. "Of course Mark's not exactly sober at the moment."   
  
Maureen waved a dismissive hand toward the kitchen. "Jen, Jason and Rich are in the dining room talking to Joanne. They're close and for the most part sober. She makes any major flames, they'll hear Mark freak out."   
  
Roger laughed. "This is true." 

Maureen smiled at him, then sat up some more so she could look into the kitchen. The music paused for a moment as the CD changed. They could hear the soft drunken laugh of Cass as Jason said something they couldn't really hear from the dining room. Mark laughed too, pulling Cass over and kissing her on the cheek. 

Maureen let out a small sigh and turned back to Roger. "You ever thing how different their lives would have been, if not for us?"   
  
Roger looked up at her. "What do you mean?"   
  
"Just… I don't know. I mean Cass loves you. And Mark loves me. But that doesn't make them love each other any less. They big difference is they sleep with us."   
  
"What? You think they're having an affair or something?" She was really bothering him with where ever she was going with this. 

"No! Not at all. But think about it. If Cass had shown up here a year or two earlier, when Mimi was still around you know perfectly well she'd be married to him at this very moment."   
  
Roger stared straight ahead for a moment before turning back towards the kitchen. He could see Mark sitting on the counter, Cass in front of him, he had his arms around her shoulders, hugging her. Deep down he knew Maureen was right. He knew Mark would have loved Cass as much as he did. He hated the fact, but he could never hate Mark or Cass for it. He still loved them both and couldn't imagine his life without Cass or Collin. "Yeah, I know." He said softly. 

"It's just… I don't know. I feel guilty, like I'm ruining his life. He didn't sign up for this." A tear rolled down her cheek. "I'm not saying I think anything would have been different with me if I'd stayed with Joanne, or that she would have deserved this either…" She wiped her face before running her hand over her bandana clad head. "I just… don't you feel guilty? Knowing you're going to die on them? I mean if it wasn't for us, they'd be happily married, Collin would probably be named Collin Roger Cohen instead of Collin Mark Davis and they'd probably be living in the suburbs with like another two kids and a dog." By then she was all out crying.   
  
Roger got up and moved over next to her on the couch, putting an arm around her. "Come on Mo, don't cry on me, please." He kissed the top of her head. "You're not ruining his life. He loves you. No matter what. And yeah, you're right, he loves her and if the timing were different they'd be together, but they're not, they're with us. And I wouldn't change any of it, and neither would they."   
  
"But don't you…"   
  
"What, feel guilty as hell? God yes, every day of what's left of my life, which by the way, I wouldn't have if not for them." He wiped a tear off her cheek. "But you can't go on thinking you're ruining their lives. Nobody can change any of that stuff. Plus Mark and I have had lots of conversations about me ruining his life over the years. To the point where he's got me convinced I'm not. And if I'm not ruining his life, there's no way in hell you are." He smiled at her. "Besides, you're sick, you're not dying."   
  
She looked down at her hands. "Yes I am." She said very quietly. 

"What are you talking about?" Roger asked wide-eyed as he leaned in close to her. 

"I don't think it's working. The chemo and everything." She shook her head. 

"Did the doctor tell you that?"   
  
"No, not exactly. It's just the impression I get from them."   
  
"Okay." He started nodding his head very fast. "Okay. Listen to me, I want you to stop thinking that way. Until that doctor tells you something different, you stop thinking that way Maureen. Can you do that? For me? And Marky?"  
  
Slowly she nodded her head. "I guess."   
  
"Good. And stop thinking you're ruining his life, because you're not. Next to me, you're one of the best things to ever happen to him."   
  
"Next to you huh?" She wiped at her face. "Glad to see your modestly hasn't faded over the years Davis."   
  
"Yeah well…" He leaned back into the couch, kicking his feet out onto the coffee table. "It's gonna be alright Mo. No matter what happens to us. They'll be fine. I promise." 


	100. 100

A/N Wow! A lot of reviews for that last chapter! Glad it was as emotional for you guys as it was for me. I'll confess, I've cried through a lot of these chapters! I can't believe we've reached 100 chapters! It really seems hard to believe. Especially since the concept of the whole thing began on a three mile run as a short story in my head! You guys have no idea how much all your reviews and notes and just the fact that you have hung on with me for so long has meant. We are quickly coming to a close, not many chapters left. I won't tell you how many, I'll just say a not a lot, but a few. Thanks again to everyone.

On a personal note, and because you all are the only people that would understand the true funniness of the whole thing I have to share a quick story with you. My Collin is now 16 months old. We just went to Florida for three weeks to visit my grandparents (his great grandparents). Well, on one of the first days we were there, my grandmother finished off the coffee. It was Foldgers in the new red plastic round containers. So she washes it out and brings it into Collin. She banged on it once to show him how. Well he gets this big grin, bangs on it like a drum a few times and then sits right down on it, all comfy like. My mouth fell open and all I could think of when I saw that was Angel! It was too funny! Like he had his own little pickle tub drum/seat! I couldn't stop laughing!

And what made it even funnier, and I didn't find this out till after he sat on his little pickle/coffee tub, Rent was playing just down the street in Fort Myers the next night. If we could have found a babysitter, my grandmother would have gone to see it with me!

Well, here's the next chapter. Thanks for putting up with me and my Collin stories. Sometimes I feel like the Kathy Lee of the Rent circuit! Oh well!

Chapter 100

"We're back." Cass called out as she, Joanie, Shelly and Krystal stepped off the small freight elevator into the loft. 

"Hey. Did you get ice?" Roger called from the dining room table. 

"Hi Mommy. Hi Grandma." Collin called to them as they walked into the kitchen. 

"Hey Sweetie. Yes we got ice. I put it downstairs in Jason's freezer." Cass set the bags down in the kitchen and walked around into the dining room followed by Krystal and Joanie. Cass smiled seeing Roger with Emily, still obviously not quite awake, on his lap, sitting at the table playing cards with Collin, Mattie, Izzy, Patrick and Larry. 

"Why'd you put it down there?" He asked her, grabbing her hand and pulling her over.   
  
"Because it's ice and I know Jason's freezer is empty seeing as how he either eats up here or down at Jen and Rich's." She kissed the top of his head. 

"Oh."   
  
"Can we go on the roof now?" Mattie asked. 

"Yeah can we?" Collin piped in, showing his cards to Larry and then throwing two blue chips into the pile on the table. 

"Not yet. It's way too hot out still." Krystal answered them. "And it won't be dark for almost five hours."   
  
"What time do the fireworks start?" Collin asked.

"Nine o'clock." Izzy told him, tossing two blue chips and a white one. 

"But Daddy said we could play on the roof." Mattie pouted. 

  
"What? Matt you two are not playing on the roof!" Krystal snapped at them. 

  
"Yeah there is no running around on the roof!" Cass joined in giving both Izzy and Roger a look. 

"They don't mean run around on the roof. We told them we'd take the amps up on the roof tonight and they could play up there, real loud like, till the fireworks start." Roger explained before turning back to Patrick. "Give me two cards."

"Oh okay. Well there's still no running around on the roof. Besides it's probably about a thousand degrees up there right now, so everybody eat a snack, we're not grilling the steaks till it cools down some."   
  
Joanie watched them play cards for a moment before finally asking. "What are you guys doing?"   
  
"Playing poker." Collin answered. 

"And drinking beer." Mattie added. 

  
"It's rootbeer!" Izzy exclaimed before anyone could jump down his throat. 

"Yeah, grandpa's helping us." Collin explained, laying down his cards. 

  
"Larry! They're only eight and nine years old!" Joanie said amazed. 

"Hey, I'm just helping them." Larry laughed. "Teaching them how to play poker wasn't my idea."   
  
"I don't want to know. However if the principle calls next year saying those two started their own playground casino, you two know how much trouble you're in right?" Cass asked Roger and Izzy who were cracking up. 

  
"Yeah I know." Roger grinned, standing up and handing Emily to Cass. "Did you guys get everything?" He started pulling things out of grocery bags. 

"I think so." Joanie answered helping him unpack the bags. "I still can't believe everything was open like that on the fourth of July."   
  
"Suburbanites." Cass laughed as she brushed a piece of Emily's hair off her face as she rested her head on Cass' shoulder and continued sucking her thumb. "How long did she sleep?" She asked Roger.   


"She only woke up about ten minutes ago." He opened up another bag. 

  
"Is she sick?" Shelly asked, offering Emily a cookie. 

"No, she just misses her Mommy. Plus she's getting her two-year molars finally. She didn't sleep real well last night either."   
  
"She's not the only one." Roger told them, hopping up on the counter and pulling Cass over between his knees. 

"She was upset Roger and scared of the thunder."   
  
"Yeah well, I thought we were done having kids crawl into bed with us."   
  
"What you ended up with both of them?" Shelly laughed. 

  
"Yes. She's sleeping in Collin's room, so he brought her in all crying and upset. But I don't know what he's complaining about. Roger got up and went to sleep in Collin's bed." She laughed, turning around and handing Emily to Roger as she opened up the last bag. She pulled out a number of bags, each with their own prescription in them. 

"Where's Mark?" Krystal asked, cutting up slices of watermelon. 

"Getting Mo up. She wanted him to get her when you guys got back."   
  
"Okay. Well, take Mo's prescription in to them. And here's your's."   
  
"What's this one for Mark?" Roger asked, still holding the very clingy Emily. 

"That's for his ulcer. Here, I got him more antacids too. And more contact solution."   
  
"What about the one for you?" He asked concerned. 

"That's just the new prescription I got to try for my migraines."   
  
"Oh okay." He handed a bag to Emily to hold. 

"Dad, Uncle Patrick is cheating!" Collin called from the table. 

Roger grinned. "That's because Uncle Patrick sucks at cards." He said quietly so only everybody in the kitchen could hear him. 

"Roger!" Joanie scolded him, but still grinned as Shelly started laughing. 

Roger shook his head as he walked out with Emily and the prescriptions. 

Cass, Joanie, Shelly and Krystal took their drinks and went to sit in the living room. Mark brought Maureen out and sat her on the couch next to Cass. Even though it was July and very hot out, she had on a long sleeve shirt and a pair of Mark's sweat pants. She'd lost so much weight she had a hard time staying warm enough in the air conditioning. 

Roger brought Emily in and sat her between Cass and Maureen before heading back over to the "poker" game with Mark. Emily snuggled in as Maureen pulled her onto her lap.

  
"So how long are they going to be in Santa Fe?" Shelly asked. 

"They left yesterday and will be back Sunday." Cass reached over and adjusted one of Emily's pigtails. 

"She's such a cutie." Shelly said. "Who did her hair? I've never seen it like that before."   
  
"I did." Maureen told them as the phone rang. "And up until now, she hasn't really had enough hair to do anything with it."   
  
"Why exactly Santa Fe?" Shelly asked.

Cass looked to Maureen who sighed and kept playing with Emily's hair as she spoke. "Collins promised Angel." She shrugged. "When Angle died, after the whole money issue with the church and funeral home was settled, he spread part of her ashes here in New York. He also promised her that he would make sure the rest would get spread with part of his in Santa Fe after he died. They always talked about moving to Santa Fe."

"So where's the rest of Collins' ashes?"   
  
"Jason spread them off the roof of one of they NYU buildings." Cass told her.  
  
"Mom, Aunt Jen's on the phone." Collin came over to the couch. "You wanna talk to your mommy Emmy?" He picked her up off the couch and walked back to the phone with Cass. 

"Why did they wait this long to go Mo?" Krystal asked. 

"Jen didn't want Jason to go alone, and they wanted to wait till Jason finished his semester. Plus, Jen and Rich had to get vacation. 

"You really have to give Jason credit." Shelly said. 

"What do you mean?" Joanie asked. 

"Well, if it was Patrick, I don't know if I'd be so willing to fly across the country to spread his ashes with his first wife or whatever."

"Well," Maureen sighed. "I have a feeling when Collins promised that to Angel, he wasn't thinking he'd ever get really involved with anyone again. I think he was really figuring it would be Mark or somebody talking their ashes to Santa Fe. Not his new boyfriend."  


"I can see that, but that's what I mean. Jason just took the ashes of his boyfriend and his boyfriend's _former_ boyfriend out there. Says a lot about Jason."

"Well, like I said, Collins promised Angel. That promise meant a lot to Collins, so it meant a lot to Jason." Maureen shrugged. 

"That's really nice."   
  
"Yeah, I guess it is." Maureen nodded. "It really is."   
  



	101. 101

A/N I'm so glad some of you love Jason as much as I do. He's actually a compilation of a few guys, all with too good to true parts to their personality, and like their namesake, too gay to do me any good! But you know how the old saying goes, all the really good ones are either gay or married. And married, we can do something about, this way, well, you know! But yes, I love Jason, he was absolutely perfect for Collins! He's that big brother/best guy friend type that you never have to worry about, because he's not interested in you, just maybe your boyfriend, but he'd never do that to you. However he would be the only one of your friends to tell you you're dating a loser (which most girlfriends won't do). They're supportive and deal with the crappy boyfriend while you're dating, and then after you break up, they tell you all the terrible things he did. Jason would tell you in the beginning and then stay around to console you after you dump him. Of course that just makes you want him more and hate the fact that he's gay and you can never have him. 

For all the heartbreak it causes, every girl really does need a Jason at some point in her life. I'm sharing my Jason with you all. He's loveable and cuddly and listens very well. Please return him when you're finished with him. 

And thanks for sticking with me. 

Kelby

Chapter 101

Roger held the two pizza boxes as he climbed the stairs followed by Jason. "So did you tell him yet?" Jason asked. 

"No." Roger grinned. "I wanted to make sure first. I'm going to tell him tonight."   
  
"That will be cool. Cass does already know about this though right?"   
  
"Chicken!" Roger laughed. "Yes she knows all about it."   
  
"What about school?" 

"It's only the first set. And it's only one night a week for four weeks. He can handle it. Or even go in a little late the next day if he has too."

"That should work. When is this going to happen?"   
  
Roger turned and looked back at him as they stopped walking in front of Jason's apartment door on the third floor. "Um, I wanted to talk to you about that. The first night would be the fifteenth, of next month."   
  
"Oh. That's the one year anniversary of when Collins died."   
  
"Yeah, I ah, know. Would that be all right? Would you mind? I mean it's okay if you do. We can change it around. That's part of the whole privilege of being one of the bosses. What ever you want to do man. It's okay with us. I just wanted to ask you first." 

"No, really, do it. It would be great. He would have loved to see that. I think it's a great idea. Do me one favor, play that song, the one he really liked that he had you play at the memorial service. Do that for him."   
  
Roger smiled. "You got it. Opening number." 

"Thanks." He smiled as he continued up the stairs behind Roger. 

"Pizza!" Roger called out, walking into the loft and setting them on the counter. 

Mark opened his office door, leaned back in his chair and waved to them while talking on the phone. 

  
"Where's Cass?" Roger called to him. 

Mark mouthed the word "running" before going back to his phone call and closing the door again. 

"I guess we're not eating for awhile." Jason laughed, turning on the oven and shoving the pizza's in. "Where's the kid?" He looked around.

Roger looked around just as he heard guitar music coming from Mark and Maureen's room. "Apparently entertaining Mo. You want beer, soda or water?"   
  
"Water." He took the bottle from Roger and jumped up on the counter, listening to Collin play from the other room. "He's really getting good."   
  
"Yeah he is." Roger smiled proudly. 

"What's he playing?" They listened again. 

"It sounds like a Well Hungarians thing." He started walking over to the bedroom followed by Jason. "Hey. Whatcha doing?"   
  
"Hey Daddy! Hey Uncle Jason!"   
  
"Hey kiddo! Hey Mo. How you feeling sweetie?"   
  
"Okay. Just tired." She yawned. "We were out running around this morning."   
  
"You need anything?"   
  
"Just for your son to realize you haven't always been the musical genius he seems to think you are. And to understand you wrote a lot of crap fifteen years ago." She smiled. 

"Um, Collin what are you playing?"   
  
Collin looked up from the sheet music he was reading on the floor. "But Dad it's a bunch of really cool stuff! Uncle Mark found it in the back storage closet!"   
  
"Let me see it." He reached for the music Collin handed him. "Ew! Mo's right, some of this is really bad stuff!" Roger laughed. "I wrote some of this stuff in high school!" He flipped through the pages. "I didn't even know we still had this stuff."   
  
"Yeah! There was a whole box of stuff! And look!" Collin flipped through the pages. "Here's one you wrote for Aunt Mo!"   
  
"You wrote a song for Mo?" Jason asked him. 

"Um, maybe." Roger shrugged. "Some of this stuff is from my 'fuzzy' period."   
  
"Well I didn't have a fuzzy period and I don't remember you writing me anything. But help me up and we can hear this masterpiece." She held out her hand for Roger to pull her up off the bed she'd been sitting on. 

They all went out to the living room and Maureen got on the couch. In the almost year since she had finished her chemotherapy she had definitely been feeling better. Her hair had started growing back in and was a couple of inches long at this point. She had never gone back to work though. Between doctors appointments and just being too tired she mainly stayed at the loft. Some days she did work for Cass. Some days she helped Mark. A few times she even sat as a model for one of Jason's art classes he was teaching. Needless to say, she was definitely ready to get back to a more normal life and doing more things. Some days she had good days, sometimes she had bad days. Lately it had been more good days than bad and she was grateful for that. So was everyone else. Today was one of her good days.

Collin moved his guitar and the sheet music to the living room. Cass came in from running just as Mark came out of his office. 

"What's going on?" Cass kissed Roger. 

"Apparently Collin found a bunch of Roger's old music and is about to play us some masterpiece Roger wrote for Mo." Jason laughed. 

"You wrote a song for Mo?" She asked, raising an eyebrow and looking to Mark.  
  
Roger shrugged as he sat down and pulled Cass on his lap. "Well let's hear it."   
  
Collin started playing as Mark sat down next to Maureen. They all listened for a minute before he spoke. "I still don't remember this." 

"Wait, here come the lyrics." Collin told him, flipping the page. 

All of a sudden Roger hopped up out of the chair, knocking Cass to the floor as he grabbed the paper from in front of Collin off the table. 

"Ow!" Cass yelled from the floor. 

"Hey?" Collin looked up, confused along with everyone else. 

"This should be interesting." Jason said under his breath but loud enough for Mark to hear him. 

Roger realized everyone was looking at him. Waiting. "Um, I uh, just remembered writing that." He gave a small grin. 

  
"Uh huh?" Maureen asked him. 

"Well it wasn't exactly meant to be a song for the band or anything. It was, well I was just screwing around." He balled up the paper. 

"What's it say?"   
  
"Well, we weren't exactly getting along then Mo."   
  
"Oh God!" Mark suddenly realized what it was.

"Now I really want to know." She looked from Mark to Roger and grinned, enjoying watching them squirm. 

"Well it was after a really big fight Mo." Mark tried to explain. 

"Uh huh." She held out her hand. 

Roger ripped off a chunk of paper and shoved it into his mouth. "It was a joke." He chewed, shoving another piece in as Collin laughed at him, watching him try and eat the paper. "We weren't ever going to play it or anything."   
  
"It was a long time ago Maureen." Mark told her a Roger shoved a piece of the paper in his mouth. 

  
"I see." She said, watching Roger gag on the mouthful of paper as Cass, Jason and especially Collin laughed. "Oh for God sake, spit it out Roger before you throw up on the rug. Yuck!"   
  
Roger spit the soggy paper out into his hand. "Sorry." He said sheepishly. 

"It's okay. I may have said a nasty thing about you once or twice in the past."   
  
"Once or twice?" Mark said, spitting out his paper. 

"Do you really want to get into this Mark?" She joked with him. 

"Yeah shut up Mark!" Roger smacked him in the shoulder with the hand not holding the soggy paper. 

Maureen just shook her head at them. "Are we ready to eat? Or are you two full off your sheet music."   
  
"Ha ha. Yeah lets eat." Mark said pulling her off the couch. They headed into the dining room where Cass had already started getting out plates for the pizza. 

Jason realized Roger was still in the living room, flipping through the papers Collin had found. "What are you doing?"   
  
Roger looked up from his spot on the floor. "I told you. Some of this stuff was from my fuzzy period. I'm making sure there's nothing else bad in here!"   
  
  
  
*********************  


"Anybody want another slice of pizza?" Cass asked as she slid the last two pieces onto Roger and Jason's plates. 

"So anything exciting happen today?" Maureen asked, tired of waiting for Roger to tell Collin the big news. 

"Nope." Cass said, knowing what she was doing. 

"Nothing." Mark grinned. 

"Nada." Jason added.   
  
"Some girl kissed Mattie at recess." Collin told them. 

"Really?" Mark laughed. "Did he like it?"   
  
"No." He said eating another bite of pizza. "Somebody dared her."   
  
"So Izzy and I were talking today. We're going to try something new at he bar. Have a sort of open mic night."

"Really?" Cass said. 

"Yeah. Instead of having our band play for awhile."   
  
"That will be cool." Mark told him. 

  
"Yeah. Izzy and I are going to play a short opening set then let all the amateurs play."   
  
"That should be fun." Jason added. 

  
"Yeah." Roger grinned. "We just got one big problem though."   
  
"What's that Baby?" Cass smiled at him as she picked up plates. 

"Well we got me and Izzy, but we need two more people. A back up guitar player and a back up bass player." He glanced at Collin who had been listening intently. "So anybody know any guitar players and bass players?"   
  
"Hmmm, I'll have to think about that." Cass told him. 

"I don't know anybody other than you guys." Mark told him.

"Me either." Jason grinned. 

  
"That's too bad. How about you Collin? You know any guitar players or bass players?"   
  
"Yeah!" He jumped up. 

"You do? Who?" Roger teased him. 

"Me! Me and Mattie! We can play with you! We can do it!"   
  
"You and Mattie? I don't know." He shook his head. "You really think you can do it?"   
  
"Yeah! We can do it! We can!"   
  
"Well…" He pretended to think about it. "It's a good thing you can do it." He grinned. "Cause I already told Izzy I'd only do it with you guys."   
  
"Really?" He ran over to Roger and threw his arms around him.   
  
"Yes really. We start practicing this weekend." He hugged him back. 

  
"How about tonight? We should practice tonight." He grabbed Roger's hand and tugged on him. 

  
"Okay, okay." He laughed. "In a little bit."   


"Okay. Can I call Mattie?"   
  
Roger looked at his watch. "Yeah go ahead. Izzy should have told him by now."   
  
Collin rushed out of the room. 

"I think he's a little excited." Maureen grinned. 

"Just a little." Cass laughed. 

"Yeah I'll have to get that on film. Who knows? Someday MTV might pay big money for it when they do a _Behind the Music_ on him." 

By then they could hear the excited chatter of Collin talking to Mattie.

****************

"Okay, you guys ready?"

"Yeah!"   
  
"Yeah! I still say we should've been allowed to get tattoos." Mattie said, more to Collin than Krystal and Cass. 

"Me too. And my Uncle Mickey's girlfriend would have done it for us too." 

  
Cass rolled her eyes. "Enough about the tattoos. We'll talk about it again in another ten years."   
  
Roger walked over to them, wrapping his arms around Cass. "You guys ready for your last big show?"   
  
"Uh huh. When do we get to do it again?" Collin asked him. 

Roger laughed. "I don't know. Someday. Let's just get through tonight first. Where's Mark? And Maureen?"   
  
"I don't know." Cass told him. "Maybe they're running late. She had her doctor's appointment late this afternoon to get her test results back. Maybe they were backed up at the doctor's."   
  
"Yeah, maybe." He had a bad feeling about the whole thing. Mark and Maureen had been here for all three of the sets they had done with Collin and Mattie. They'd never miss Collin's last show. Not unless it was something really big. "Okay you guys, let's go."   
  
He got the boys up on stage and they started the opening set for the open mic night. Half way through their first song he saw Jason come in and make his way through the crowd to where Cass and Krystal sat. He could tell by the look on his face alone something was wrong. But when he saw Jason had Mark's camera, he knew it was bad. Mark wouldn't miss this except for something really, really big. 

The set they played with the boys was only a short twenty-five minutes set, but sitting there, seeing the look on Cass' face, it was just about the longest twenty-five minutes of his life. Finally it was over. Izzy introduced the first act that was going to come on as Roger hopped off the stage and went directly to Cass. "What's wrong?" He asked her and Jason. 

Cass clutched his arm with both hands as Collin and Mattie came over to the table. "I can't believe it's over! Dad you gotta let us do that again."   
  
"Collin," Cass started, "how would you like to spend the night at Mattie's? Daddy and I have to go do something, so would that be okay? You stay there? And we'll bring your toothbrush and school uniform and backpack over later. Krystal will take you to school tomorrow. It that okay?"   
  
Roger could hear that panicky edge in her voice. It had to be really big if she didn't want Collin coming home. 

"Cool! Yeah!"   
  
"Cool!" Mattie agreed. 

"Okay. We have to go. It'll be late when we bring your stuff over, so I'll see you tomorrow. You did a great job tonight. And I love you." She hugged him tight and kissed him on the head. 

"Yeah great job kiddo. You were awesome. I'll see you later." Roger told him. Cass almost didn't let him finish as she was dragging him out of the bar with Jason. 

"Here's you jacket. Izzy will take care of you guitar. Let's go."   
  
"Babe what's going on?"   
  
Cass looked around. "We'll tell you in the car." 

*****************

Jason drove as Cass explained what Jason had told her when he walked in. They all knew Maureen had her doctor's appointment today. A year after finishing all the chemotherapy and removing her tumor, they ran the test to make sure everything was okay. That the cancer was still gone. That Maureen was fine. The test results came back today. 

  
"So what happened?" Roger turned in his seat to look at Cass in the backseat. 

"Apparently it's back." Cass managed to say over the lump in her throat. 

"Oh God." Roger said softly. "So what do they do now? More chemo?"   
  
Cass looked to Jason and he let out a sigh. "See that's the problem."   
  


************

As the three of them climbed the stairs they could hear Mark and Maureen arguing as they reached the apartment door. 

"Damn it Maureen!" Mark slammed his hand down on the table as Roger, Cass and Jason walked in. 

  
"I said no! It's not worth it!"   
  
"Yes it is!"   
  
Roger could tell Mark had been crying. Maureen too. "Hey. What's going on?" He said softly. 

Mark and Maureen just stared at each other. Finally Maureen spoke. "It's back. And this time it's worse. It's what they call highly aggressive."   
  
"Oh God." Cass' hand went to her moth as if to stop the words from coming out. 

"So what happens now?" Roger asked. "More chemo?"   
  
"Yes!" Mark yelled. 

"No!" She yelled back at him. 

"You know what? I can't listen to this again!"   
  
Mark yelled, grabbing his jacket off the back of a kitchen chair and bolting for the door. 

"Mark!" Maureen yelled. 

  
"Mark…" Roger called to him as the door closed behind him. 

Maureen started crying again and slumped into the chair, resting her elbows on the table and covering her face. Cass sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. "Just let him go." She sobbed. 

"Mo what's going on?" Cass asked softly. 

"I told him I wasn't going to do it. The chemo. I didn't want to do it again."   
  
"But what did the doctor say?" Jason asked her. 

  
"That we could try it. But it may not do much. Actually it may not do anything. So I told him I wouldn't do it again."   
  
"But Mo…" Cass said softly as Roger stepped up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders. 

"No. Don't. I'm not going to do it! I'm not going to go through that again. Feel like that again. For what? An extra six months? But waste the first six months feeling horrible? Puking? Not being able to get out of bed? No!"   
  
"Did, did they really say that? Six months?" Cass asked her. 

"Yes." She looked down at the table. "Without the chemo six months. With it, maybe an extra six months."   
  
"Oh God." Cass said again as Roger tightened his grip on her shoulders. 

"That's why I won't do it. I mean why? So I get a year!" She almost yelled. "Out of that how much do I really get? After the chemo? And then when it kills me? So why should I?"   
  
Roger let go of Cass. He had to get out of that room. He had to get away from them. From that conversation. "I'm gonna go look for Mark." He told them backing out of the room.

Roger got down to the street and climbed into their car. He just sat there for a minute. He couldn't listen to Maureen. Not right now. His emotions were all over the place and he just had to get out. 

It had started to rain lightly, and the nights were still somewhat cold for it being the beginning of spring. He decided he really should look for Mark. The radio was off, but the windshield wipers made that mechanical swishing sound as he turned the car on and pulled away from the curb.

Where would Mark have gone? The Iguana? No, he knows Izzy would call Roger. The movies? No probably not tonight. The Life? Maybe. Roger decided to try there first. As he pulled the car to the curb he could see him inside. 

Silently Roger walked in and sat across from him in the booth. Neither of them looked at the other. They both just sat there, their backs against the side of the booth, their legs stretched out in front of them on the seats. The waitress came over to see if Roger wanted a beer. It wasn't until a few minutes after she brought it that Mark finally spoke. 

  
"She can't do this. She can't just give up like that."   
  
"She's not giving up Mark." Roger said softly. 

  
"Yes she is! She's quitting! She doesn't want to fight it so she's quitting. 

Roger knew all about people just giving up and quitting. He knew Mark did too. April quit. She gave up and quit. Instead of fighting it, she quit. By this time Roger had been able to process through some of his own emotions. He realized that in the jumbled mess in Mark's brain right now, he was comparing Maureen's decision to what April did. And it wasn't the same thing. 

Roger let out a long sigh as he played with the beer he wasn't drinking. "What do you want me to say Mark?"   
  
"I want you to say she's wrong! That she needs to do the chemo again!"   
  
Roger kept staring straight ahead. He and Mark still hadn't looked at each other and he certainly couldn't meet Mark's eyes with what he was about to say. "I can't Mark." He said guiltily. 

  
"What!" Mark's head spun around and stared at him. "How can _you _agree with her?" 

"Because I can." He finally turned to face Mark. "She's got a valid point Mark."   
  
"No she doesn't!" He started to sob. "She can do the chemo again! She can do the radiation again! She can go to that weird acupuncture chick again!" 

"Mark…"

"No! She's got options! She can do something instead of giving up! She's got options! She can get better." Now he was all out crying.  
  
"But Mark." Roger said as he got up and sat down next to him on Mark's side of the booth. 

"No." He yanked off his glasses and wiped at his eyes. "She's got options. Angel and Collins and Mimi didn't have options. Maureen does. Maureen can get better."   
  
Roger put an arm around him as he cried in the booth. He finally understood what was going on. This went deeper than Mark losing Maureen. Deeper than Mark losing someone else he cared about. Long ago Mark had come to terms with the fact that he was going to lose a number of his friends to AIDS. Because AIDS kills you. There's no cure for AIDS. But Maureen doesn't have AIDS. She has cancer. And people survive cancer all the time. There are cures for cancer. 

Things Mark had said to him in the past suddenly made sense to him in a different way. Mark never believed Maureen could die from this. He never let himself believe it. As long as she didn't have AIDS, she could get better. But apparently after what the doctor told them today she couldn't get better.

A/N Okay, another tear jerker. I cry just proofing the thing! I can't believe it's come this far and you guys are all still with me. Thanks so much. Hope you enjoyed the good cry.


	102. 102

Chapter 102

"If I got to tell you two again to go to sleep, not only are you not going tomorrow, I drop you off with Izzy at six AM!" Roger yelled down the basement steps. He waited a moment, listening to the silence before going over and sitting back down at the dining room table. 

"What the hell kind of threat is that?" Patrick asked confused. 

Cass and Roger looked at each other and laughed. "A good one." She told him. "You've never met a more miserable person to be around then when Izzy has to be up early."   
  
"God that's the truth." Roger added, drinking back his beer. 

"Mom is there any ice cream?" Mickey called to Joanie as he head was inside the freezer. 

  
"No, Collin and Mattie finished it all." She told him. 

"Well what about the brownies? Or did the little urchins finish those too?" He pouted. 

"First of all don't call them that. Secondly the brownies and chocolate chip cookies are for tomorrow."   
  
"But I'm hungry now." He whined. 

"Oh for God sake Mickey." She got up and got a brand new package of Oreo's out of the cupboard, dropping them onto the table. 

"Anyway," Patrick started, shooting a look at Mickey. "We need to meet Uncle Frank and the twins at seven. Can everybody handle that? Mickey?"   
  
"Don't worry about it." Mickey told him. 

"I know you, so I do worry about it."   
  
"That's why I'm sleeping here. So I'll be up by six thirty." He turned and looked towards Joanie. "Okay?"   
  
"Yes." Joanie shook her head. 

"Oh you need your mommy to wake you up?" Roger teased him, pinching his cheek. 

"Get off me loser." Mickey smacked his hand away. "Like you're any better."   
  
"I'll be up. Knowing those two, they'll be awake before six thirty."   
  
"You better get up earlier than that." Cass told Roger. "You'll never get those two up, dressed, fed and ready by seven."  
  
"Oh yeah, food."   
  
"Hey Mom?" Mickey asked. "Any chance tomorrow you could…" 

"Forget it Mickey." Joanie laughed at him. "You know where the cereal is."   
  
"You're pathetic Mickey." Shelly laughed. 

"I don't care what you guys do. Just be ready cause at seven, Larry and I are leaving to go meet Uncle Frank. With you or without you."   
  
"God chill out Patrick. Who made you ruler supreme?" Mickey told him.

"You guys just be careful tomorrow. And all of you watch those boys!" Joanie told them. 

"Don't worry. They'll be fine." Larry told her, getting up from his seat and walking towards the kitchen. "It's too bad Mark couldn't come."   
  
"Oh please!" Roger gave a toothy Oreo laugh. "You're lucky you got me going! Mark sitting on a boat fishing? Never happen."   
  
"It's not so bad Roger." Shelly told him. "I've gone before. The bait is gross and stinks, but it's okay." 

"Yeah well, spending the day on a boat, in the sun, playing with dead fish parts isn't Mark's idea of fun. I'm still not completely sure it's my idea of fun."   
  
"You'll have fun." Shelly laughed 

"You realize the only boat I've ever been on is the Staten Island Ferry."   
  
"No Baby, you and Mark took Collin to the Statue of Liberty." Cass teased him. 

"Right. Another reason to be glad Mark didn't come. He wasn't happy even on that little trip!" Roger laughed with everyone else. 

"Well you guys just remember to put plenty of sunscreen on those boys. And yourselves. And drink a lot of water. It's supposed to be near ninety tomorrow. And make sure everybody wears a hat."   
  
"God Mom we have gone fishing before you know." Mickey told Joanie. 

"I know Mickey. And every time you go you always come home sunburned." She told him.

"Alright, alright. Sun tan lotion. We got it." Mickey told Joanie before turning back to Roger. "You just make sure those two remember the most important thing tomorrow."   
  
"And what's that Mickey?"   
  
Mickey looked up at Larry and Patrick who where laughing. "That if they're gonna puke, make sure they do it over the side and not on the deck of the boat!"   
  
Cass and Shelly started laughing too. More so at the look on Roger's face. "Lovely. But yet another reason I never see Mark doing this."   
  
"It's not that bad." Shelly laughed. "But you're right, I guess I don't see Mark fishing."   
  
"Yeah, maybe not." Patrick laughed. 

"How is Mark doing? And Maureen?" Shelly asked, reaching for an Oreo. 

"I'm gonna go clean out the car." Roger told them getting up and walking out. 

Larry watched him. "I'll help him." He grabbed two beers out of the fridge and followed him out the backdoor as Patrick and Mickey walked into the living room. 

Shelly watched them go before turning to Cass. "Did I say something wrong?"   
  
She let out a sigh as she watched them out the window. "No. He just doesn't like talking about it. But to answer your question, they're doing okay. They've got tickets to a show tomorrow night."   
  
"Another one? They just saw one." Joanie said. 

"Yes. Mark said he'd take her to every Broadway show there was if she wants. And in the last four months they have seen a lot of shows. But it's what she likes."   
  
"How does she feel?" Shelly asked. 

Cass shrugged. "Some days are better than others. She's tired a lot."   
  
"How's Mark doing?" Joanie asked. 

Cass shrugged again. "He's trying hard. You know, brave front. He's trying to understand why she wouldn't do the chemo, but that's really hard for him. Especially because he knows she doesn't regret deciding not to do it."   
  
"How's Roger doing?" Joanie asked her quietly, almost afraid to know.

Cass shook her head. "He feels kinda stuck in the middle. I mean he totally understands what Mark's going through." Her eyes went down to the table. "And I know he would have done anything to make Mimi better, even for a little while, but at the same time, he understands why Maureen won't do the chemo. It's just hard for him to talk about it."   
  
Joanie reached over and patted Cass on the arm as Cass continued. "Collin seems to be doing the best out of everyone. He and Maureen talk a lot. I don't know about what, but I've got my suspicions. You know we never realized till after Collins died that he and Collin had been talking about all of this stuff. I think it was easier for him to talk to Collin. No preconceived ideas. No baggage. Just sweet and naïve. And full of questions. Questions that make you think about stuff. And question your own beliefs. 

"But he's probably doing the best out of everyone." She shook her head again, still looking at the tablecloth. "I mean I guess part of it is because he's not old enough to know better. And part of it is because he's been around it before and can just except it as how life is. 

"Is that horrible? That a poor little kid has to know all this. Live through this again. He only just turned ten years old. And look what he's had to deal with." And what he'll still have to deal with someday she tried to stop her brain from thinking but couldn't. 

"It'll be okay Sweetie." Joanie said, putting an arm around her. "He's a strong little boy."   
  
"I know." Cass said softly, wiping at her eyes. "I know."   
  
"Shelly?" Patrick called from the living room. 

Shelly looked at Cass as she stood up. "She's right Cass. He's going to be okay." She gave her a quick hug before walking out of the room. 

Joanie looked at her for a moment after Shelly left. "How are you doing?"   
  
Cass wiped her eyes as the back door opened and Roger and Larry walked in. "I'm fine." She told her, smiling at Roger as they headed into the living room. 

"Okay Sweetie." Joanie told her, standing up. "Maybe we can talk tomorrow. While they are all gone."   
  
"Maybe." Cass said softly. 

Joanie gave her another quick hug and whispered in her ear. "I'll bring more ice cream and tissues. We'll have a good cry. We'll both feel better."   
  
"Thanks Joanie." Cass hugged her back.


	103. 103

A/N To everyone - Sorry I haven't been able to update often. I have been out of town and had very sporadic computer use again. Also, if this looks funny it is because I can't get it to format correctly on this computer. My apologies for any problems.  
  
Glad to know everyone is able to keep up with the time changes. I have hoped through out that those would be clear.  
  
Just a reminder, Kitty is Kitty Cohen, Mark's mom. And Emily is the daughter of Jennifer and Rich (the cop).  
  
Now, here is a warning. There is a lot of emotion running through most of the rest of this story. Personally, I cry like a baby when I read it and I know what happens. So this is your official tear jerker warning.  
  
I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and from Collin and I to all of you "It's gonna be a happy new year!"  
  
Love you all and my usual heartfelt thanks for sticking with me. We are almost to the end. It's been a long and wonderful path we have traveled.  
  
Kelby  
  
Chapter 103  
  
Roger heard his cell phone ringing and reached for it on the nightstand. Unfortunately he remembered too late that they weren't at home, but at his mother's house and there wasn't a nightstand on his side of the bed. Cass woke up when she heard the thud of him falling on the floor as the phone stopped ringing.  
  
"Roger?" She sat up looking for him.  
  
"Where's the fucking phone?" He grumbled as it started ringing again. He dug around the pile of clothes and found it still clipped to his pants. "Hello?"  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"You're there now?" He said into the phone. "Okay. As soon as we can." He paused to listen as he sat up on the floor.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"Uh huh. Okay." He said standing up and pulling on his pants. "What about your mom?" He tossed Cass her jeans from the floor. "Right. We'll be there soon. Bye."  
  
"What happened?" Cass asked as he clicked off the phone.  
  
"Mark took Maureen to the hospital. It's bad Cass. Real bad."  
  
"Oh God Baby." She said as she crawled across the bed towards him.  
  
"I think this is it." He told her as she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. "We gotta get to the hospital."  
  
"Okay." She said wiping her eyes. "I'll pack up our stuff. You get Collin."  
  
"Roger?" Joanie said knocking on the door. "I heard the phone." She slowly opened the door.  
  
"Mark took Mo to the hospital. We gotta go. Can you get Collin up?"  
  
"Yes. Did Mark call Kitty yet?" Joanie asked.  
  
"No. Maureen's parents are on their way from Long Island. He wasn't up to dealing with his mom and her mom in the middle of the night. Especially considering his dad's out of town this weekend. He'll call her in a little bit."  
  
"Well if you want, you two can go now and I'll bring Collin in the morning. I'll call Kitty and see if she wants me to drive her in."  
  
"That's a good idea Roger." Cass said still kneeling on the bed.  
  
"Yeah maybe it is." He pulled his shirt over his head. "We gotta get going."  
  
Joanie nodded and headed downstairs.  
  
"What time is it?" Cass asked changing into a sweatshirt.  
  
"Two-thirty." He told her, looking at his watch.  
  
Cass pulled on her jeans and looked over at him. She realized Roger was just standing there. Not moving. "Baby?"  
  
He looked up. "I'm okay." He shook his head. "We gotta get moving."  
  
She nodded as he went out the bedroom door. Cass finished getting dressed and started putting things into their bag. By the time she got downstairs Joanie had made them each a travel mug of coffee.  
  
"Do you want any food?"  
  
"No I'm good. I'm gonna go start the car." Roger shrugged on his jacket then took the bag from Cass, heading out to the car.  
  
"Sweetie are you okay?"  
  
"No." She shook her head. "Not really. I'm not ready to do this again."  
  
"I know." She hugged her as Roger came back in the back door.  
  
"Babe we gotta go." He told Cass who nodded and went to put on her jacket.  
  
"Here Sweetie." Joanie handed him his coffee.  
  
"Thanks. We'll call you in a few hours."  
  
"Okay. What do you want me to tell Collin?"  
  
Roger sighed. "The truth I guess. I don't know. That Mark took Maureen to the hospital and called us in the middle of the night. We'll tell him the rest when we see him, but if he asks, don't lie to him."  
  
"Okay." She gave him a hug and watched them walk out the door.  
  
Cass and Roger walked in the dark to the car. In the six months since Maureen's decision to not do the chemotherapy again they had been spending the weekend at Joanie and Larry's every few weeks. It gave Mark and Maureen time alone. As well as giving the three of them a break from it all too. While Joanie was thrilled to have them and be able to spend the time with both Collin and Roger, she hated the reasons why.  
  
Cass climbed into the SUV and shivered. "God it's so cold out."  
  
Roger turned up the heat then backed down the driveway. He pulled into the street and realized there were wet leaves all over the windshield still. He flipped on the wipers and started driving down the street. When leaves got stuck under the wiper blades he pulled over got out, and yanked up the wiper. Roger grabbed up the leaves, flinging them on the ground. He wiped his hands on his jeans and threw himself back into the car, slamming the door behind him. "I hate the fucking fall."  
  
******************  
  
"We're back!" Collin called as he and Jason walked into the loft with the Chinese food they had picked up for dinner.  
  
"Good, but put it in the oven on warm. Daddy and Uncle Mark aren't here. We should wait for them. For awhile at least." Cass told them walking into the dining room and setting the laundry basket down on the table.  
  
"Where did they go?" Collin asked, getting sodas out of the fridge for himself and Jason.  
  
"For a walk."  
  
"Another one?" Collin asked her.  
  
"Yes." She said not looking up from the laundry she was folding.  
  
Jason hopped up on the counter as she said that. "How is he?"  
  
"About the same." She told him.  
  
Jason looked over at the recycling container that was almost over flowing with beer cans and bottles again.  
  
Cass saw him look. "That however seems to be getting worse. I'm really starting to worry about him Jason."  
  
"Give him some time. Her funeral was only four days ago."  
  
"I know. I know. I'm just worried about him. So is Roger."  
  
"I know, but you got to give him some time." Jason told her. He realized Collin had just been standing there the whole time, listening to them. "How about you kiddo? How you doing?" He asked Collin.  
  
"I'm okay." He shrugged.  
  
"Really?" Jason asked him.  
  
"Yeah I guess." He said somewhat hesitantly. Cass walked into the kitchen and put an arm around him. "What is it Sweetie?" She asked him.  
  
"Well," he paused, "are Uncle Mark and Dad mad at each other?"  
  
"No. Why would you think they're mad at each other?"  
  
"Cause they aren't talking. Like at all. And Uncle Mark keeps slamming stuff around when he is here."  
  
"No, they aren't mad at each other. Uncle Mark is just mad, but not at your dad. Or you or any of us. He's just upset."  
  
Collin didn't look completely convinced so Jason decided to try and help. "Mark just doesn't really know what to do with himself right now. He doesn't feel like talking and he can't sit still, but he doesn't really know what he should be doing."  
  
"And I don't think your dad knows what to say to him, so he just keeps sitting with him and going with him when he wants to go for a walk and stuff like that." Cass told him.  
  
"We all just need to give him a little space and time." Jason explained.  
  
"Okay." He drank back some of his soda as the apartment door opened. Roger smiled at them as he walked in followed by Mark who headed straight to his room.  
  
"Hey Baby." He told Cass as he sat his grocery bag down on the counter and kissed her.  
  
"Hi." She kissed him back. "How is he?" Roger just shook his head. "Well where did you go?"  
  
Roger sighed as he reached into the bag and pulled out two new six packs of beer.  
  
"More? Roger you've got to talk to him."  
  
"What am I going to say Cass? Tell him drinking himself silly isn't going to make it any better? That'll hold a lot of weight coming from me." He told her, obviously frustrated. Roger shook his head and pulled out a beer for himself. "Let's just eat. Okay?"  
  
Cass nodded and pulled the bag of Chines food out of the stove while Jason went to tell Mark dinner was ready.  
  
"How you doing Kiddo?" Roger asked Collin. "How was school?"  
  
"Okay." Collin shrugged.  
  
"Did you get all caught up on your homework from the days of school you missed?"  
  
"Pretty much. I've just got a little to finish this weekend."  
  
Roger nodded. "I gotta work tomorrow." He told Cass and Collin.  
  
"You do?" Collin asked sounding disappointed. "At the bar?"  
  
"Nope." He hopped up on the counter. "At the studio. That new band is going to lay down a demo track tomorrow."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Roger grinned. "Yup. You wanna come with me?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Okay. But you gotta bring your homework with you too."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Maybe we can bring your guitar too. If we have time in the end maybe we'll lay down something too."  
  
"Cool! Wait till I tell Mattie!" He told him as Mark and Jason walked into the kitchen. Roger watched Mark go straight to the fridge and open another beer.  
  
"Guess what!" Collin told Mark and Jason. "Dad's taking me with him to the studio tomorrow!"  
  
"Great." Mark said unenthusiastically.  
  
"Mark." Roger scolded him from his spot on the counter.  
  
"Sorry." He mumbled walking over to where Cass was dumping Chines food into the bowls.  
  
"That'll be cool Collin." Jason told him.  
  
"Where's my Kung Pao chicken?" Mark asked Cass.  
  
"I ordered you chicken and broccoli." Cass told him holding up a bowl.  
  
"I wanted Kung Pao chicken!" He yelled.  
  
"Mark calm down." Roger told him.  
  
"Mark people with ulcers don't eat Kung Pao chicken. They eat chicken and rice." She explained.  
  
"I fucking wanted Kung Pao chicken!" He yelled again, slamming his beer down on the counter, causing it to foam over.  
  
"Mark don't yell at her." Roger told him.  
  
"No! I wanted fucking Kung Pao chicken! Nobody fucking listens to me! I said Kung Pao chicken!" He screamed, sweeping all the dishes of chinese food and his beer off the countertop and onto the floor with his arm.  
  
"Mark!" Roger yelled as Mark stormed out of the kitchen slamming his bedroom door behind him. "You okay?" He asked Cass, who was obviously stunned at Mark's reaction.  
  
Jason looked at Collin and realized he had backed up against the counter with a scared wide-eyed look on his face. "You know what?" He said, trying to lighten the mood some. "I didn't want Chinese food anyway. Collin what do you say to going downstairs and making Jen cook us dinner. Or, better yet, we skip dinner and go straight for dessert. And maybe a movie?"  
  
"Um." Collin said, still staring at Mark's closed door.  
  
"Maybe that's a good idea." Roger said. "You guys go to the movies."  
  
"Yeah. Let's go." Jason said, grabbing both his and Collin's coats.  
  
******************  
  
Roger walked over to Mark's room and flung open the door. "Mark what the hell-" he cut him self off before finish his sentence. Mark was on the far side of his room. Sitting on the floor leaning against the wall. His elbows on his knees and his hands were over his face as he rocked back and forth some, bumping the back of his head against the wall. "Mark."  
  
Roger walked over and sat down next to him. He could hear the great sobbing breaths he was taking behind his hands. Suddenly it all clicked. Mark was crying. Finally. Roger realized he hadn't seen Mark show almost any emotion at all the entire week. From the time he and Cass had gotten to the hospital late that night up till now Mark hadn't cried. He just sort of put up a front. Just stood there. Behind the famous Mark wall. He used to hide behind his camera but he last six months the camera has just sat in his office, untouched.  
  
"It's okay. It's gonna be okay." He told him, putting an arm around his shoulders. The dam broke and Mark cried as Roger sat there with him. Eventually Cass came in and sat on the floor with them as Mark cried and finally started to talk.  
  
**********************  
  
Instead of going directly for ice cream, Jason decided they should eat at least some real food first even if they only got bad for you appetizer type stuff. Jason watched Collin swirl his sweet potato fries in ketchup.  
  
He felt so bad for the poor kid. Jason didn't know if it was because Collin, along with Emily were as close as he'd ever get to having his own kids or if it was the fact that he was named after the man he loved. Or if it was just the fact that the poor kid had already been through so much. And he knew too much about the ways of the world for only being in the fifth grade. "Hey." He looked down at him. "It's going to be okay. Mark didn't mean to get upset."  
  
"But it was only chicken. Mom says if he eats spicy stuff it'll make him sick. She was trying to help."  
  
"I know she was. And so does Mark." Jason let out a big sigh and leaned back in his seat. "It's like I said before. Mark is mad. He's not mad about the chicken or mad at your mom. He's just mad about losing Aunt Mo and he's sort of taking it out on all of us right now because he doesn't know what else to do."  
  
"When Uncle Collins died you didn't act like that."  
  
"Well, everybody acts different. Deals with it different. Mark is just having a hard time dealing with it."  
  
"Aunt Mo said Uncle Mark is scared to be alone." Collin stated, almost like a question.  
  
"Well." Jason thought about how to answer that. "You gotta remember Collin, Mark has lost a lot of friends. And then Maureen had broken up with him and lived with Aunt Joanne for awhile, so yeah, she's probably right. He probably is afraid of being alone."  
  
"But he's not alone. And my dad always lived with him."  
  
"I know, but I think for a long time he felt like he was going to be alone forever. You have to remember, even though your dad lived with him, there was a lot of other things going on in your dad's life. And he didn't always have time for Uncle Mark. And he sometimes felt kinda alone anyway, even though your dad was there. I think he felt like he was going to be alone forever. But then Collins moved back to New York. And then me and Jen moved in. And your mom. And you were born. So it's gotten a lot better for him, but sometimes it's hard to get past stuff you were scarred of for a long, long time."  
  
"I just wish he'd start acting like Uncle Mark again."  
  
"I know you do kiddo. I know. Eat your fries and then we'll go have junk food at the movies. Maybe you can even sleep on the couch down at my place tonight."  
  
"Okay. I just wish he'd start acting like the old Uncle Mark." 


	104. 104

A/N Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone. I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday. We have been in and out of town since just before Thanksgiving. Hence my sporadic posting as well as my lack of reviewing. Please forgive me, my computer use was very limited. But I am back home now and we are in the final stretch. 

Thank you all for sticking with me! I love you guys! You don't realize how much you miss something like this until you can't do it for a number of weeks!

Kelby

Chapter 104

Quietly Cass opened the bedroom door and slipped in. Roger had the blankets pulled up to his chin and was asleep. She watched him for a moment. He seemed tired a lot lately and that worried her. When they got home from vacation she was sending him back to the nutritionist and have his vitamins re-worked. She watched him stir and shiver in his sleep. The beach rental they had been getting the past few years had air conditioning, but they hardly ever used it. Between the ceiling fans and the great windows they got plenty of breeze. Especially in their room. She walked over and quietly closed the door that lead out to the second floor balcony to cut down on the air blowing on Roger. Silently she pulled off her tee shirt and started to undo her bikini top. 

"That's a sight worth waking up for."   
  
Cass picked her tee shirt back up and pulled it over her head. "Hey." She smiled at him. "Did I wake you up?"   
  
"Nope." He stretched first then grabbed her wrist and pulled her over to him on the bed. She put up no fight and sat next to him, leaning on his chest. 

"Are you okay Baby?" She asked him, putting her hands to the side of his face, feeling his head. 

  
"Yeah, why?" He pulled one of her hands down and intertwined their fingers. 

"You just looked like you were cold."   
  
"I'm sunburned remember?" He grinned at her. 

"And you just seem tired a lot."   
  
"I am tired. I'm gonna need a vacation from our vacation. After spending last week with my entire family here. And this week all of us. You try spending two solid weeks hoisting up Collin and Mattie and flinging them across the pool."   
  
"Guess you never should have started that." She laughed at him. 

"Well when I started doing that he was only in first grade. He grew some since then."   
  
"Sixth graders tend to do that." She smiled. 

  
"Yeah. Sixth grade. Hard to believe." He told her, shaking his head. Very hard to believe. Every now and then facts like that amazed Roger. Collin was going to be in sixth grade in a little over two weeks. He had turned eleven back in June. Both of those were things Roger had never expected to see. But he did. And he was grateful for every day. He leaned in and kissed Cass. 

"What was that for?" She asked as they pulled apart.

"Cause I love you." He grinned. "Where is everybody? It's awfully quiet around here for this crew."   
  
Cass got a small grin on her face. "Actually they all just left. Izzy, Krystal, Jen and Rich took Collin, Mattie and Emily to the boardwalk for dinner and to go on the rides and stuff. They just left because you were still asleep. I can call them and we can go meet them."  
  
"God no! We get a chance to be completely alone for the first time in like forever and you want to ruin it with three kids and Izzy? Maybe you got too much sun." He teased her. 

"Good point. So what do you want to do?"   
  
"God, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I really wanna go eat, I'm starved." He laughed.   
  
"Okay. Where do you want to go?" She asked watching him start to get up. 

"You said they went to the boardwalk?" She nodded. "Then we're going in the opposite direction of the boardwalk. But first I gotta take a shower." 

"Okay Baby." Cass told him leaning back on the bed.

Roger watched her for a second and got an evil grin on his face. He walked over to the bed and scooped her up, tossing her over his shoulder. 

"Roger put me down! What are you doing?"   
  
"I decided dinner can wait!" He laughed walking into the bathroom and turning on the shower. 

****************

Roger poured Cass more wine as the waiter brought their dinner. He suddenly realized she hadn't mention Mark earlier. In the almost ten months since Maureen died, Mark had had both good as well as bad times. Things had started getting better after the therapist they made him go to put him on anti-depressants. In the last couple of months, Mark had actually been more like the old Mark. "Did Mark and Jason go with everybody to the boardwalk?"   
  
Cass shook her head. "No Mark and Jason were going to some bar. Something about Bon Jovi playing there before they made it big or something."   
  
"You're kidding." He laughed. 

"Nope. The two of them took off out of there all excited like the pathetic little products of the 80's that they are." She laughed. 

"That's funny." He took a sip of his wine. "You know, those two have been hanging out together a lot this summer."   
  
"Well Jason didn't teach any summer session this year."   
  
"Yeah." He agreed, giving her a forkful of his pasta. "But maybe there's more to it then that." 

"Roger what are you talking about?"   
  
"I don't know." He gave her an evil grin. "Mark just seems so much better. Happier. Jason too. I don't know." He shrugged. 

"Are you drunk?"   
  
"No." He laughed. "I was just thinking, you know, maybe there's something going on between them."   
  
"That's it, I'm driving home."   
  
"No." He laughed again. "I mean, they're doing good. And having fun. And together all the time."   
  
"I see." She nodded slowly. "I hate to poke holes in this theory you created in that twisted, deranged and dangerous mind of yours Baby, but aren't you forgetting something?"   
  
"What?"   
  
"Mark's not gay."   
  
"We don't know that for sure. It's never been proven." He grinned. 

"Roger, Mark's not gay."   
  
"Well he might be. 

  
"No Roger."   
  
"But-"

"No Roger." She laughed again. 

"But what about all that other stuff?"   
  
"He's not gay. They aren't a couple. Granted Mark's happier but he's also medicated, which is helping a lot. And they both have moved on with their lives some. Jason more so than Mark, but still."   
  
"I don't know."

"I think maybe they have found some common ground. Both of them are single. And hanging out with each other is, you know, safe. Especially seeing as how Mark's not gay."   
  
"Yeah I suppose. Mark's good with safe. He does safe well." He nodded his head while looking at her. He knew he was drunk as the words left his mouth. "Like you. For Mark you're safe."   
  
"I suppose." She said softly looking down at her wineglass as she twirled it on the table. 

"It's good. You're safe for Mark. Mark's safe for you. You guys will do good together."   
  
"Whatever." She played with her glass some more. "I don't want to talk about this anymore." She told him, finishing off her wine. 

Ever since Maureen died, he'd do this once in awhile. Without really saying it, he'd start talking about when he was dead. She always knew what he was referring too. What he meant. And she hated it. He knew she hated it, but he'd do it anyway. Some days she'd talk and some days she wouldn't.  
  
"Okay Baby. I'm sorry." He reached over and put his hand behind her head, pulling her close as he kissed her on the lips. 

*****************

Roger poured more of the wine they had bought on the way home into their glasses. Cass hit the button turning the hot tub jets on again as she slid onto his lap. "Hey Baby."   
  
"Hey yourself." She grinned as he started to kiss down her neck. 

"So… we still… got this place… to ourselves."   
  
"I know." She laughed as his goatee tickled her neck. "It's amazing."   
  
"Uh huh." He continued kissing her. "We should… make… good use… of our time."   
  
"I think… you're right." She kissed him back. 

"Hey Dad! Look what Izzy and Uncle Rich got me and Mattie!" Collin yelled as he and Mattie came out the back door onto the patio. 

  
"Agrr!" Roger pulled back from Cass' neck. "We really gotta work on his timing."   
  
Cass just laughed at him as she picked her wine back up. "What did you get Sweetie?"   
  
"Hermit crabs!" He held up the little cage. 

  
"Great. More animals." Roger mumbled. 

"Shhhh." Cass whispered to him. "That's great Baby. Go get ready for bed and I'll be up soon."   
  
"Okay." He said as he slowly headed back into the house with Mattie. 

"Well so much for being alone." He grumbled. 

"Hey Davis!" Izzy yelled as he came outside. "You hear your kid's got crabs!" He laughed. 

Roger rolled his eyes at Cass who laughed at him. Only Izzy would go there. 

"You two do have something on in there right?" Izzy asked them. 

"Yes Izzy." Cass grinned as she got up off Roger's lap and climbed out of the hot tub, headed into the house. 

"Yeah. Just checking." He called to her. 

Cass went in and said goodnight to Collin. After she came back down she found Krystal and Jennifer in the kitchen looking at the three hermit crab cages. "Okay, whose bright idea was this?" She asked them. 

Krystal shrugged. "I don't know. The kids were looking at them, the guys were drunk. Next thing you know, Izzy and Rich are in a pissing contest at this boardwalk booth and the three of us end up with smelly little crawly things."   
  
"Lovely. And I thought I only had to worry about stuff like this with Mark and Mickey."   
  
"Never doubt the trouble Izzy can cause." Krystal laughed as she walked out the door towards the pool. 

"Great." Cass rolled her eyes as she followed her out to make the most of what was left of her vacation. Smelly little crawly things or not.


	105. 105

A/N In reference to the last chapter. I just had to put that in about Mark and Jason. I'm not saying there's anything going on or will be going on or anything like that between them. I just thought I could see something like that running through Roger's twisted little mind. Especially after a few drinks.

Just to remind everyone since we haven't heard from her recently Molly is Mark's little sister.

Chapter 105

"Eight dollars." Cass said as she set the two drinks down on the counter. The guy paid and walked away. 

  
"Hey Cass!" Krystal called over the band as she walked into the Iguana. "What are you doing working?"   
  
"I'm not. Jimmy just got swamped while I was up here getting us drinks so I was helping him out. She picked up the tray of drinks and followed her over to the table where Jason, Mark, Jen and Rich already sat. 

"What took so long?" Mark asked. "Hey Krystal."   
  
"Hey guys. How they doing tonight?" She motioned toward the band. 

"They sound pretty good tonight. They already played some of the new stuff." Mark told her as he poured her a beer. 

"Thanks." She told him, taking a long sip. "God I needed a drink." Krystal said as the band finished playing. 

Roger came over and sat on a chair backwards. "Hey Baby." He kissed Cass. "Hey Krystal."   
  
"Hey."   


"Your new stuff sounded good Rog." Jason told him. 

"Thanks."   
  
"Where's Izzy?"   
  
"Screwing with the A/C. It's hot as hell up there." He told Krystal. "Is Mattie sleeping at our place tonight?" He took the beer Mark handed him. 

"Yup. When I left, Emily was doing Molly's hair and Mattie, Collin and Molly's boyfriend were making themselves ice cream sundaes."   
  
"Oh good, so the kitchen will be nice and sticky tomorrow." Cass laughed. 

Krystal laughed too. "Please if sticky was the only thing going on at my place I'd be happy." They all laughed at her. "No seriously. You'll never believe what I found in Mattie's room."   
  
"Oh God." Cass laughed. 

"I don't even know what it is, but already I'm grateful Emily's a girl." Jen laughed. 

Krystal shook her head as she drank back more of her beer. "Okay so I'm cleaning his room. I'm cleaning it because neither Super Slob or Super Slob Junior have any clue as to what that means."   
  
Roger laughed at that but stopped with a look from Cass. "Sorry."   
  
"So anyway, I'm pulling crap out from under his dresser and under his bed and I can smell something."   
  
"So what was it?" Jason asked. 

"Hermit crabs."   
  
"Yuck."   
  
"Ew. We went to the beach like five months ago." Roger laughed. 

"Ah, he didn't get any hermit crabs this summer."   
  
"Ewww!" Mark laughed. 

"You mean it was one of the ones Rich and Izzy won for the kids two summers ago?" Jen made a face as Rich started laughing. 

"Yup. Those stupid little stinky dead crawly things have been sitting dead under his bed for who knows how long. Probably close to a year."   
  
"Oh that's nasty. Funny, but nasty." Mark continued laughing. 

"Okay, moving past the dead things under the kid's bed, what do you know about the talent show at school?" Roger asked her. 

  
"Talent show?" She played innocent. 

"Yeah. It's some big secret. Collin won't tell us anything." Mark told them. 

"Sorry. What little I know I've been sworn to absolute secrecy." She grinned. 

"What talent show?" Jen asked. 

"It's a really big deal at the school. Sixth graders and up." Cass explained. 

"So why wasn't Collin in it last year?" Rich asked. 

"He wanted to be in it." Cass explained. "He was really excited about it. That was one of the big deals of being in the sixth grade last year. Being able to be in the talent show. But then he realized Mattie was only in fifth grade and couldn't do it with him. So he waited until this year when Mattie was in sixth grade and they could do it together."   
  
"Awww, that's so sweet. Putting it off for a year so he can do it with his best friend." Jen said. "That's definitely something he got from Mark."   
  
"Hey I would have done that." Roger told them, drinking his beer. 

  
"No you wouldn't have." Mark laughed. 

"Okay, I wouldn't have. But I would have thought about it."   
  
Mark rolled his eyes at him before turning back to Krystal. "So what are they doing Krystal?"   
  
"I can't tell you." Krystal smiled. "All you need to know is they are both going to perform."   
  
"But they won't tell us anything." Mark whined. 

  
"Yeah what if they need help?" Roger asked her. 

"They have help so don't worry about it." 

"They do?" Cass asked surprised. 

"Who?" Roger demanded. 

"Can't tell you. I don't know who. I know who it isn't. It isn't any of you guys or Izzy."   
  
"But-"

"Forget it Mark. You'll never get it out of me. Let's just suffice it to say that they are performing in the talent show, they have all the help they need and I can't tell you anything. So you might as well relax and wait to be surprised in three weeks."   
  
  
  
****************  


"Well do you want us to bring you any dinner?" Cass listened for a second. "Okay. Total including you guys and your parents we need eighteen seats. Okay. We'll see you in a little bit. Bye." She hung up her cell phone. "Krystal said the boys were already eating and she's getting us all seats together."

"We need eighteen seats? Who's coming to this thing that we need eighteen seats?" Roger asked as he bit into his burger. 

Cass started counting off on her fingers. "You, me, Mark, Jason, Jennifer, Rich and Emily, your mom and Larry, Patrick and Shelly, Mickey and Sarah, Izzy and Krystal and Krystal's parents. 

"That's only seventeen." Mark told her. 

"Oh and Jason's date."   
  
"Jason's got a date?" Mark asked surprised. 

"His first date since Collins and he's bringing him to a school talent show?" Roger laughed. "I guess he doesn't want a second date."   
  
"First of all it's not his first date." Cass told them. "It's just the first date he's let you two know about. And secondly, I think it's sweet that this guy likes him enough to subject himself to a school talent show. Not to mention all of us."   
  
"He's been going out?" 

"And you knew? And didn't tell us?" Roger pouted.

"He wasn't ready for everybody else to know."   
  
"So he told you?" Mark asked. "And not us?"   
  
"A- he didn't tell me, Jennifer did. And B, he wasn't ready for you to know. Now he is and now you know."   
  
"I can't believe he never told us."   
  
"Just leave him alone. And both of you better be on your best behavior tonight. I mean it."   
  
"We're always on our best behavior." Roger told her as Mark laughed. 

"I mean it Roger."   
  
"Yes dear." Roger grinned. 

"Yes Cass." 

  
"Okay, then lets get going."   
  
They paid the check and headed to the school. It was still early when they got there so they found their seats and waited. After awhile Krystal came out and saw them. 

"Hi!"   
  
"Hey Krystal. Where are they?" Cass asked. 

"In the back finishing getting ready." She grinned. 

"Well do they need any help?" Mark asked her. 

"Nope. They said their roadie had it all covered." She laughed. 

"Their roadie?" Roger laughed. 

"Izzy?" Mark questioned. 

"Nope. You'll see." She grinned. "I gotta go finish taking care of some stuff."   
  
By the time Krystal came back just about everyone else was there, seated and waiting. "Here I brought you some programs." She handed them out. 

  
Mark flipped through the program. "Oh my God." He laughed. 

"What?" Cass looked up from her program. 

"Oh God." Roger grinned. "I guess we know what they are doing now."   
  
"The Well Hungarians 2? Wasn't that the name of your old band?" Larry asked Roger. 

"Yup." He started laughing with Mark. 

"You think they understand what Well Hungarians really meant?" Mark laughed. 

"No." Krystal grinned. "And luckily for them none of the faculty advisers on this little show realized it either. And I wasn't going to be the one to explain it to anyone." 

"Oh God." Cass tried to stifle a laugh. 

"There's Mickey and Sarah." Patrick pointed as the two of them came out from the back stage area. 

"Hey guys." Mickey grinned. 

"What are you doing back there?" Roger asked them. 

"Nothing."   
  
"Nothing." Sarah grinned. 

"Mickey why do you look so guilty." Joanie said to him like he was an eight-year-old, causing everyone to laugh. 

"Aww Mom, leave me alone." Mickey whined. 

"You're their roadie?" Roger laughed. 

"Hey they called me!"   
  
"Oh this is gonna be interesting." Mark laughed.   
  
Just then they flashed the lights signaling it was time to start. The talent show began. Because they were in the lowest grades, they were one of the first few acts. The curtain closed on the act before them and the MC came out. He introduced them and the curtain slowly opened. The first thing they saw was a high school girl at a set of drums.   
  
"That's Julie. She's a junior." Krystal explained. "She thinks the two of them are just, and I quote, the cutest little things. Especially when they asked her to audition for their band."   
  
"You're kidding?" Roger laughed. 

By then the curtain made it all the way open and they saw the boys.  
  
"Oh my God!" Cass exclaimed as she saw Collin. His hair was sprayed a bright shade of blue. He had on a tee shirt with the sleeves cut off and a when he turned they could all see the tattoo on his bicep. Even from that distance, Cass could tell it was an almost exact replica of Roger's tattoo. When she looked closer she saw he also had a cross on his hand between his first finger and thumb. Also like Roger's. 

Mattie's hair was sprayed black. He too had a cut tee shirt on exposing the tattoo of an iguana that ran from the side of his neck across the back of his shoulder with it's tail running down his arm. Just like Izzy's 

"Michael Andrew Davis!" Joanie quietly yelled at Mickey as she grabbed him by his ear and yanked him towards her. "If any of that is permanent!"   
  
"Owww Mom! Owww! Let me go!"   
  
"It'll all wash off." Sarah laughed as her boyfriend got scolded by his mommy. 

Julie counted off and the boys started to play. Roger and Mark recognized the old Well Hungarians song as soon as Collin started to sing. 

When the song was over all of them jumped up. They made so much noise it took almost five minutes before the next act could come on. Cass had to almost restrain Roger and Mark they were so excited. 

***************

"Hey." Roger leaned against the doorframe of Collin's room. "Can I come in?"   
  
"Sure." He put his guitar away in the corner of his room. 

"You really did great tonight. Really."   
  
"But we didn't win." He looked up at Roger. 

"Who cares. You guys were incredible." Roger sat down next to him on the bed. "I still can't get over how good you guys did."   
  
"I still wish we woulda won."   
  
"Hey I think you guys were the best ones out there."   
  
"Really?"   
  
"Really. Besides, I don't think Well Hungarian music is exactly what that group is used too. If you'd been playing for an Iguana type crowd you would have won for sure."   
  
"You really think so?"   
  
"Definitely."   
  
"Were you surprised? I wanted to surprise you."   
  
"I was definitely surprised. By the whole thing." Roger put him into a headlock hug, messing up his still blue hair. 

"How'd you like my tattoo?" Collin beamed up at him. 

"I think it's pretty cool. You've got good taste." Roger smiled at him. 

Collin lightly fingered the tattoo. "Uncle Mickey had Sarah do them for us. At her job." 

"I figured." Roger grinned thinking back to when Mickey and Sarah started going out and Mickey had taken a then seven year old Collin to pick her up at the tattoo, piercing and S and M shop she worked at. 

"It's just like yours. She did it from a picture. She said it'll wash off in a few days." He told him sounding somewhat disappointed. 

Roger couldn't get over everything Collin had gone through to do this. The music, the tattoos, calling Mickey for help. Not to mention not telling any of them. All to surprise him. Roger put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close. "You know I love you right? Cause I do." He smiled at him. 

"I know."   
  
"And I'm real proud of you too. You're a pretty great kid."   
  
Collin looked up at him. "Great enough that you'll let Sarah give me a real tattoo?"   
  
Roger started laughing and gave him one more squeeze. "I don't think so."   
  
"But you said you loooooooved me." Collin gave him his puppy dog pouty face. 

"I do love you, and because I love you, I'm telling you no. Because while I love you, I fear you mother more!" He laughed as he kissed him on the forehead before letting him go and getting up, walking out of Collin's room.


	106. 106

A/N Just a reminder, Emily is Jennifer and Rich's daughter.

As you all know, we are quickly heading towards a close on this story. So as can be expected, there are going to be some emotional moments to come. This is your official tear jerker warning. Get those tissues ready ladies before you even start this chapter. You are going to need them. That said, here we go!

Chapter 106

Roger opened up the bedroom door and walked out into the living room.

"Hey Baby." Cass looked up from the floor. "You feel better?"   
  
"Oh yeah. I feel fine." He told her. "I was just tired." 

"Okay." She always wanted to believe him when he told her that, but lately it had become harder and harder for her to accept that answer. "Do you want to eat with us or do you want to wait?"   
  
"No I can eat. I'm hungry." He sat on the couch. "Where's Collin?"  
  
"They just left about twenty minutes ago." Mark told him.   
  
"Already?" He looked at his watch.

"Uh huh." Jennifer laughed. "After making Jason promise again not to embarrass him tonight."   
  
"Aunt Cass can I play video games in Collin's room?" Emily asked. 

"Sure sweetie, go ahead." Cass told her coming back from the kitchen with Roger's Chinese food and handing it to him.

"Thanks. So what was the final plan tonight?"   
  
"Well," Mark began. "Jason was taking him over to pick up Crissy, then they were going to dinner at the Life."   
  
"Where Jason had to sit at an entirely different table and wasn't supposed to acknowledge them." Jen grinned. 

"But he was supposed to pay the check." Rich laughed.

"Yeah, except for that." Mark continued. "Then he was supposed to take them to the school and drop them off."   
  
"I can't believe my baby is old enough to be going to an eighth grade fall dance. "Cass said sadly. 

"I can't believe he took a date instead of Mattie." Rich laughed.  
  
"Yeah now that girls are in the picture, things could start getting real interesting around here." Mark laughed.

  
"So is Krystal at this dance?" Jen asked. 

"Yes. She's a chaperone." Cass told her. 

"Why did he ask Jason to drive him instead of one of us?" Roger asked as he ate his dinner.  
  
"Probably because Jason is less parental then the three of you." Rich explained. "In other words, less chance of parental embarrassment."   
  
"Great." Roger laughed which quickly turned into a coughing fit. He'd been having those more and more often. He drank back some of the water Cass offered him and it finally subsided. 

"Oh yeah Rog, your doctor's office called to confirm your appointment for Tuesday afternoon. I thought it was for Tuesday morning?" Mark asked him. 

"It was but they had to change it."   
  
"Oh okay."

"Afternoon? I have a meeting that afternoon. I can't go with you then. I can try and change it, but I don't know if I can at this point." Cass told him. 

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I'll take Mark with me."  
  
"Okay. We'll just go through the music for that one scene in the morning instead of the afternoon." Mark told him. 

"Okay." Roger nodded. Mark had made Roger the music director on his latest project. Partially because they wanted to work together, but mainly because Roger knew Mark so well, he could almost feel it when he found the piece of music that would work perfect for Mark. This scene they had to do on Tuesday was the last thing they had to pick music for. It had been a last minute decision to put the scene back into the film, but it seemed to pull it all together nicely. 

As much as Roger loved working with Mark, he was glad this project was finishing up. He was tired. And Mark could at times drive him crazy on things like this. And that just made him more tired. 

Rich looked at his watch. "Okay we gotta go or we'll be late for the movie." He stood up. "Em let's go!"   
  
"Coming." The little girl called from the bedroom. 

"We'll see you guys tomorrow. Can't wait to hear all about the big date." Jen grinned. 

"You say that now." Cass laughed. "Just you wait till it's her on that date. See if you're laughing then."   
  
"Good point. But then again her father does own a gun. So he happens to be cleaning it every single time some crazy hormone driven boy comes over. It could affect things."   
  
"Oh Mother!" Emily said, thoroughly embarrassed as everyone else laughed.

***********************

"Baby are you sure you don't want me to cancel my meeting and come with you to the doctor's? I think I should."   
  
"It's okay. Besides Mark and I have to run through all that stuff this morning." He kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you later."   
  
"Okay." She said hesitantly. "If you're sure." 

"Completely sure." He kissed her again before he picked up his keys and walked out with Mark.

******************

Mark sat on the couch staring straight ahead. The look on his face somewhere between shock, terror and total numbness. 

"Mark you haven't said anything in over twenty minutes."   
  
Mark just looked at him for a second. "I, um, I don't know what to, I mean, I guess, I mean are you alright?" He barely got the words out. 

"Obviously not."   
  
"Oh my God Roger! How can you joke around! How?" His voice went up a pitch as he fought back tears. 

"What do you want me to do Mark? It's not like we didn't know this was coming."

Mark just looked at him. He was too quiet. Too calm. Especially for Roger. 

"I'm not saying I'm happy about it damn it, just that we knew it was coming."   
  
"You knew." Mark finally spoke. "You knew didn't you? That's what the receptionist meant. They didn't change your appointment, you did. You did so Cass couldn't go with you. You knew. Oh my God you knew." By then he did start crying.

Roger sat down next to him and put an arm around him, letting out a long sigh. "I didn't know for certain, but yeah I had a pretty good idea they were going to tell me that. If not this time then soon."   
  
"Oh God Roger." Mark sobbed into his shoulder. 

"Come on Marky. You gotta pull it together for me. Please? You gotta pull it together. Before Cass gets home. Can you do that?"   
  
Mark nodded as he wiped his face on his sleeve. "I'm sorry Rog. I'm sorry. It's just, I don't wanna lose you. You've been doing so good for so long. It was almost easy to pretend it would never happen."   
  
"I know Marky." He hugged him again. "I know." They sat there for a few moments in silence. When Roger figured Mark had pulled it together enough he stood up. "I'm gonna go take a nap. I gotta talk to Cass when she gets home. Are you gonna be okay?"   
  
"Yes." He said with shaky breath. "Are you?"   
  
"Surprisingly yes." He saw the shock register on Mark's face. "I'm not saying I'm ready to die or anything yet Mark. I'm just saying I knew this was coming and was sort of prepared for it.

"Look," he sat back down next to him. "I got a lot more time than I ever should have. Then I was ever entitled too. I got it, I made the most of it. And I'm grateful for that. For that, and you and Cass and Collin. And everybody else. All I can do is except it and be grateful for what I've had and what I've got left. It took me a long time to learn that. And it took Mimi, Collins and Angel to teach me that. Even April and Maureen. So I'm not going to waste what I've got left. And you need to do the same. Because I'm gonna need you. So is Cass and Collin. You got that? We just make the most of it. Okay?"

Mark silently nodded at him again before Roger stood back up. "Roger?"   
  
He turned and looked at Mark. That almost broke his heart. The almost defeated, crumbling look on his face. Mark who had already been through so much. Put up with so much. Lost so much. "What Marky?" He said softly. 

"Are you scared?" He stood up. 

"Yeah. Sorta."   
  
"Me too."   
  
"It's gonna be okay Mark." He hugged him as he started crying again. 

"How?" He sobbed. 

"Cause we're all together." 

******************

"Mom you gotta stop crying. I can't talk to you when you're crying like that." He spoke into the phone. "Please mom." Roger listened to her tears subside some. "I'll come up and see you in a few days. We'll talk. Just you and me. I promise. Okay?"   
  
Joanie agreed. She need time to process this. He still needed time to process it. "Okay then I'll see you soon. I love you Mom. I'm so sorry. Really I am. I love you."   
  
She said goodbye and he hung up the phone. Roger laid back on his bed. The afternoon playing through his head. The doctor reading his chart. _"Your T cells dropped again. Low enough that we move your diagnosis from HIV positive to full blown AIDS. I'm sorry."_ He was sorry? How the hell did that doctor think Roger felt at that moment. 

AIDS. He had AIDS. He hadn't called it that in years. In the beginning sure, that's what he had. That's what they all had. They had AIDS. They were dying of AIDS. But it wasn't until after Angel died that he was able to see that wasn't true. That was what Angel and Collins and especially Mimi had been trying to tell him for so long. They weren't dying of AIDS then. They were living with HIV. There was a difference. A big one. 

April died of AIDS. Not really, but sort of. She quit. She gave up. She let it win without even trying to fight. She gave into the fear of having AIDS. So yeah he thought to himself, April died of AIDS.

But not the rest of them. Well duh Roger eventually they did die from it. But first they lived with it. Especially Angel and Collins. Angel who was already so far gone when they meant him, but who still managed to teach them all how to live. And to love. Roger wished he had realized all that back at the time instead of months later. 

Collins was a good example of living with HIV. Hell that was his motto. Live life to the fullest because tomorrow you could get hit by a bus. And boy did Collins live at times. Roger suddenly realized how much he missed Collins. He wished he was here right now. 

The door to the little place in his heart where he kept his Mimi creaked open. At this moment he really, really missed her. She had taught him so much and loved him so much. And he loved her. All the while they were living with HIV. 

Now he had AIDS. He couldn't say he was surprised. He could tell things were getting worse. He was always tired anymore. His colds held on longer and longer. He just knew. And somehow, after all these years, knowing made it easier. 

Roger heard the front door close and knew Cass was home. True he was scared of dying, but at this moment he was more scared of telling Cass he had full blown AIDS. 

The door opened and in she came, beautiful and so full of life. "Hi Baby!" She plopped down on the bed next to him. "How did this morning go? Did you and Mark get all the music picked? I tried asking Mark but he went running off into his office. I swear, this project is making him wackier than usual." She shook her head as she leaned over and kissed him. 

"Hey Baby." He said softly as he wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "Listen I need to talk to you." He whispered. 

Cass pulled back and looked at him. "What's wrong? What happened?"   
  
He couldn't meet her eyes. He looked out the window at the slightly darkening sky and let out a long sigh. 

She stared at him for a second. "Oh my God." She whispered hoarsely as she stood up from the bed. "You went to the doctor's today. Oh my God." She backed up, her hand covering her mouth. 

Roger stood up and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her. He felt her start to shake as the sobs came. "It's okay Baby." He whispered as he held her. "It's okay."   
  
  
  
********************  


Roger pulled the blanket up some on Cass and climbed out of the bed. It had gotten completely dark out since they had laid down. By the way she was sleeping so restlessly he knew she had gotten a migraine. Hopefully it would ease up if she got some more sleep.

Out in the living room he could hear voices. He walked out, softly closing the door behind him. Collin was sitting at the table playing cards with Jason. "Hey Kiddo. Did you eat?"   
  
"Uh huh. Uncle Jason brought Chinese."   
  
"Oh good. Did you finish your homework?"

"Yup. Gin!" He told Jason. 

"Okay you little card shark, that was the last game. I quit."   
  
"Ha!" Collin laughed at Jason before looking up to Roger. "Where's Mom?" 

"She's asleep. She's got a headache."   
  
"So does Uncle Mark. He's in his room." Collin told him as he got up and took his plate to the kitchen. 

Roger watched him go then looked to Jason. "Um, did Mark….?"

Jason nodded. "Yeah he told me." He said softly. 

"Um, good."   
  
"Yeah, so a you know if you need anything…"   
  
"Yeah I know. Thanks."   
  
"Hey Dad come listen to this." Collin called from the living room as he picked at his guitar. 

"In a little bit, I gotta talk to Mark first." He told him as he walked over to Mark's room. "Hey." He knocked as he opened the door. 

"Hey. How's Cass?"   
  
"Asleep. Migraine." He told him, closing the door behind him.

Mark nodded slowly. 

"I, ah, need to talk to you." He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out an envelope he had put there earlier. "Here." He held it out to Mark who just stared at it.

"What's that?" He pointed at his name on the envelope. 

"Relax, it's not what you think." He sat on the bed. "It's for Collin. I need you to keep it."   
  
"What is it?"   
  
"It's a letter. I wrote it a long time ago. I put your name on it in case anyone found it. I knew you'd hold it in case you ever have to give it to him."   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"It's just, look like I said, it's a letter. I need you to hold onto it. Just in case, in case he ever finds out the truth. You know it might explain some stuff. You know if he ever finds out. And I just want him to know, that it never mattered. Never made a difference. But you only give it to him if he ever finds out the truth."   
  
"The truth?" Mark was thoroughly confused. "Finds out the truth about what?"   
  
Roger let out a frustrated sigh at having to say it out loud. "That fact that I'm not really his father." He told him in an annoyed whisper.   
  
"Oh." Mark didn't know what to say. This was a topic he was completely not expecting. Especially tonight. In all of Collin's almost thirteen an a half years, that had never been brought up before. "Um…" 

"Look I don't want to sit here and talk about it or anything. Just hold onto it for me. Please."   
  
"Um, yeah. Sure." Mark stared at the envelope now in his hand. "I'll take care of it. I promise."   
  
"Good. Thanks." With that he got up and walked out of the room.

  
  



	107. 107

A/N Well these last chapters are a lot shorter than most of my chapters. But they seem to cover everything that is needed. Thank you guys all for your reviews. I told you these last chapters were emotional ones (and this one is no exception). 

To Becca – If you make it through the rest of this without crying I'll be really impressed! Cause like I said, I bawled after every chapter!

Thanks again to everyone who has been with me all this time. I'm still amazed you all stuck with me this long and reviewed so much. Have to tell you all it is a wonderful feeling! So thank you.

Kelby

Chapter 107

"Collin." Mark shook him in the dark. "Collin wake up."   
  
"Five more minutes." He mumbled as he pulled the pillow over his head. 

"No, Collin wake up." He told him, flipping on the light and starting to dig through Collin's dresser, pulling out clothes. 

"What time is it?"   
  
"Almost three. Here put on your jeans. We're taking a road trip." 

"A road trip? Where are we going?" He sat up, confused. 

"Cleveland."   
  
"But what about school?"   
  
"Don't worry about it. Hurry up and get dressed. You can sleep in the car."   
  
By three thirty they were on their way out of the city heading towards Interstate 80. Somewhere in Pennsylvania Mark pulled off. "I need coffee."   
  
"Are we there yet?" Collin asked from the back seat. 

"No were just getting breakfast." Roger told him as he stepped out of the SUV. 

They were just about to go in when Mark's phone ran. He looked down at the caller ID. "That's Jen. You guys go ahead, order me coffee." He told them as he flipped open his phone. "Good morning Jennifer."   
  
"Good morning! Don't give me that crap! What the hell is going on Mark?" She yelled into the phone. "Jason comes down here last night and tells us about Roger. And then I get up this morning to find a note on our door. 'Jen – went to Cleveland, I'll call later.' What the hell is that? What's going on? Where are you?"   
  
"Somewhere in Pennsylvania."   
  
"Well what's going on?" 

"Roger decided he wanted to take Collin to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame." He shrugged. 

  
"What? In the middle of the night? Why?"

"Because it was important to him."   
  
"Oh." She was silent for a moment. "Are you okay Marky?"   
  
He let out a long sigh. "I don't know. I got so much running through my head right now…" 

"I know. When are you guys coming back?"   
  
"I don't know. A few days."   
  
"Okay. Well be careful. And call if you need anything."   
  
"Okay. Thanks Jen. I'll talk to you soon." He hung up the phone and walked into the restaurant. Before he even saw them he heard Roger hacking away. It was a sound he was quickly beginning to hate. 

By early afternoon they made it to Cleveland. They found a hotel and got two rooms. Mark took Collin to Wal-Mart to buy bathing suits so they could go swimming in the indoor pool. 

As they drove back towards the hotel Mark kept glancing at Collin. He was such a smart kid he had to have known something was up. Even for them, getting up in the middle of the night to drive to Cleveland was odd. He figured he should find out what the kid was thinking at least. "So how you doing kiddo?"   
  
"Okay. Mattie will be sorry he missed this."   
  
"Well, maybe some other time."   
  
"Yeah. Maybe." He stared out the window. Without looking back he spoke to Mark. "My Dad's getting sicker isn't he?" He asked softly.

Mark sighed. "Yes he is."   
  
Collin nodded. "Is he going to die soon?"   
  
"I don't know." Mark tried to explain. "Eventually yes, he is going to die." 

"That's why he wanted to come here isn't it. He always said someday he'd take me to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. We came now so he didn't die first." Tears started rolling down his cheeks.

Mark pulled the car over. "Come on, don't get all upset on me. Please?"   
  
"It's not fair! I don't want him to die!" Collin cried. 

Mark pulled him over into a hug. "I know. I don't either." 

***************

The next morning after breakfast Roger and Collin left for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 

"What are Mom and Uncle Mark gonna do all day?"   
  
Roger shrugged. "You know your Uncle Mark. Probably convince your mom to go to a movie with him."   
  
"Probably." He looked out the window as they pulled into the parking lot of the Hall of Fame. Suddenly the reality of why he was here hit him all over again and it was too much for the thirteen-year-old to take. Roger turned the car off just as Collin grabbed his arm and started bawling. "Dad I don't want you to die!"   
  
"I know. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Collin." He hugged him. "But I can't help it."   
  
"I'm gonna miss you." 

"I'm gonna miss you too."   
  
"It's not fair!" He kicked his foot hard against the dashboard while wiping at his eyes. "Why does everybody in our family die? It's just not fair." He sobbed harder. 

Roger didn't know what to say. What could he say? Collin was right. He had already lost a lot with Maureen and Collins. And the way that had affected everyone. Now here he was dying on him too. He hated himself for that. 

After awhile Roger got Collin calmed down enough to go inside. They looked at everything. And talked about everything. The exhibits. Roger. Collin. Cass and Mark. What it would be like when he was gone. Everything. Roger saw the tears come to Collin's eyes more than once during the day. He felt it in his own too. By the end of the day they were both physically and mentally exhausted. But Roger felt good. Like the whole day had somehow been successful. Somehow made things better. For both of them.


	108. 108

Chapter 108

Roger sat on the couch with a blanket around him. Here it was summer and he couldn't get warm he'd lost so much weight. He had hacked and coughed all the way through Collins' eighth grade graduation. More than once he had gotten so dizzy from it he thought he was going to pass out. And Cass had had no idea he had been wearing three shirts that night. She wanted him to go to the doctor four days ago. They had been fighting about it all week. But he knew the doctor would just put him in the hospital. And there was no way in hell he was missing Collin's graduation.

Finally he had agreed to go. Not so much as agreed as give in to the pressure from Cass, Mark and his mother. He couldn't stand looking at the scared look in her eyes. He missed his old Cass. Happy, crazy Cass. "Hey." He called to her, reaching out a hand as she walked by the couch.

"Hey yourself." She sat next to him. "Are you ready to go?"   
  
He nodded. "I love you Baby."   
  
"I love you too." She said leaning against him. 

"Promise me something."   
  
"Anything."   
  
"Promise me you won't stay like this."   
  
"Like what?" She looked up at him. 

"All upset, tired, scared, freaked out, whatever you want to call it."   
  
"What are you talking about?"   
  
"Just promise you'll go back to being my beautiful, crazy, carefree Cass. Please?"   
  
"Roger…" 

"I'm not saying today, just don't stay all upset like this forever. I hate it when you cry. From the day I met you I've always hated it when you cried. I just don't want you to always be like this."   
  
"Okay Baby." She tried to fight back the tears. 

"Good enough." He kissed her. "Now lets go get this over with." He let her help him up and they headed to the doctor's. 

*************

Roger was right, the doctor put him in the hospital. His cold was turning into pneumonia and even with everything they kept giving him, his lungs were still slowly filling up and it got harder and harder for him to breathe. He had already been here four days. He wanted to go home. Cass wanted him to stay. She kept holding onto that tiny hope that if he stayed he'd get at least somewhat better. Mark wouldn't commit either way. 

The door opened and he looked up as Collin walked in. "Hey Buddy. How'd you get here?"

"I took the subway." He told him pulling a chair over to the bed. 

"Alone? Does your mom know that?"   
  
Collin got a small grin. "No. I told Uncle Jason though. Besides, I'm gonna be in high school this fall. "I'm old enough to take the subway up here by myself." He rolled his eyes, trying to act annoyed.

"I know you are. Your mom just worries about you. Especially right now. So cut her some slack if she needs it. Okay?"   
  
"Okay. But she's making me crazy. I don't need a baby sitter. I can come up here by myself. I never get to come see you by myself!"   
  
Roger could tell he was getting upset. "It's okay. I understand." He took his hand. "So you're here now by yourself. That means it's your job to entertain me. So what's going on?"   
  
"Nothing." He shrugged. 

Roger didn't buy it. "What's up Collin?"   
  
Slowly his eyes raised up from the blanket he had been staring at. "You're not going to get any better this time are you?"   
  
Roger sighed. "No probably not."   
  
"Mom says you might if you stay in the hospital."   
  
"Mom hopes I might, but I'm not going to. You understand that?"   
  
Collin nodded. "Dad? How did you get AIDS?"

Ewwwww. Hard question to answer. Well actually easy question to answer, just hard to say out loud to his kid. "You know I used to be really messed up on drugs. Well, that's how. I was a junkie." He knew Collin knew this for the most part. "Uncle Mark and Uncle Collins got me all cleaned up."   
  
Collin nodded as he looked at the TV for a minute. Roger was beginning to think the conversation was over when Collin spoke again. "Well if you got AIDS when you were doing heroine, how come me and Mom didn't get it?"   
  
Whoa! That was a question he wasn't prepared for. Roger looked down at his hands. On his forearms you could still see the faint scars if you knew where to look. Without even thinking it through he spit the words out. Afraid if he didn't answer quickly he wouldn't be able too. "I got it after your mom was pregnant. I screwed up and started using again. Just a couple of times, but that's all it took. I screwed up. I'm sorry."   
  
He just lied to Collin. He lied to his kid. He had never lied to him like that before. At this moment Roger had never hated himself as much as he hated himself right now, but he knew if he told the truth, he'd hate himself even more. 

"Oh."   
  
"I'm sorry." Roger whispered over the lump in his throat. 

"Me too, but I still love you."   
  
"Good." Roger smiled, relieved. They just sat there for awhile longer. Sometimes talking, sometimes not. When they talked, it got deep. Roger told Collin things he never thought they'd talk about. After about three hours the door opened and in walked Cass. 

"You are in so much trouble mister!" She told Collin. 

"Leave him alone. He's old enough to take the subway where ever he wants." Roger told her, understanding Collin's need to come see him alone. He had questions he didn't want to ask around everyone else. He was entitled to that. 

"But--"

Roger shook his head. "He's fine. Leave him alone and come see me." He held out a hand as she walked over.

*************

By the end of the day he'd had his usual round of visitors. His mother and Larry, Patrick and Shelly, Mickey, Jason, Jennifer and Rich as well as Mark, Cass and Collin. He was tired. Tired of medicines and nurses and doctors and hospitals. He wanted to go home. To die at home, not here. But like he told Collin, Cass was still holing onto the glimmer of hope that something in this God forsaken building would somehow make him at least somewhat better. Damn it! He couldn't take sitting here wasting away. But he couldn't take the look on Cass' face if he ever convinced her this hospital wouldn't save him. Nothing would. 

He knew his emotions were all over the place. Mad, angry, frustrated yet strangely content at the same time. It was this place. He knew it. He'd be happier at home. 

Roger couldn't handle another argument with Cass over this. He waited till she and Mark left for the night before he picked up the phone. He knew there was only one person that could possibly see it from his side and would be willing to help him. Willing and able. 

  
"Hello?"   
  
"It's me. I need your help."   
  
"Sure anything. What do you need?"   
  
"I want to go home. Please." He said, almost desperately. 

There was silence for a minute on the other end of the line. "I'll come there and we'll work it out. I'll see you in a little bit."   
  
"Thanks." Roger hung up the phone and waited.

**********************

"You're sure about this?"   
  
"Yes. Completely." Roger told him, starting to get frustrated. 

"Okay, relax. I understand. I was just checking."   
  
"I'm sorry. I just want to get out of here and get home before they do. It'll be easier that way."   
  
"I know. I think this is the last of the paperwork."   
  
"How did you get them out of the house but yet not here?" 

"Molly had car trouble out on Long Island this morning. So Mark had to go get her."   
  
"What was she doing on Long Island?"   
  
"Nothing. She took the day off from work, took a six a.m. train out there this morning. Currently Mark's on his way to get her and then take her to see a number of supposedly important clients."   
  
"She made it all up?"   
  
"Yep. It was either that or call his assistant at the production house and have her accidentally loose all their footage for awhile. I figured rush hour traffic would be less stressful on him. Besides, Molly was more than will to help."   
  
"What about Cass?" Roger asked signing the papers and handing them back as the nurse started to push him towards the elevator. 

"Yeah she was a little harder. And Rich says you owe him, big time. He told Cass he wants to run the New York Marathon this fall. Convinced her she needs to at least train with him once in awhile. It'd be good for her and all. So they are going on a ten-mile run this morning. That was Jen before saying they left. And so you know, Rich isn't overly thrilled, but Jen said he was faking it well."   
  
"Wow. Thanks Jason." He wheezed. His breathing had been getting harder and harder. They had him on oxygen almost all the time now and when he talked he used up his breath quickly. "I know you had to go through a lot to get them occupied and all." He paused to catch his breath. "I mean I don't want them home right now, but I don't want them walking in here and finding me gone either."   
  
"I know. I understand. Really I do. Come on, let's get you home." Jason helped him into the car. 

"What about Collin?"   
  
Jason pulled out of the parking lot. "I told him the truth. He's helping Jen get ready for you. He seemed real relieve you were coming home, but I know he understands what it really means too."   
  
Roger shook his head. He was glad Jason had told Collin. He knew Collin would understand. Silently they drove home. Jason pulled up in front of the building and got out. By the time he got Roger up the front steps and in the building, Collin, who had been watching out the window for them, had come down in the elevator. 

"Hey Dad."   
  
"Hi Buddy."   
  
"I'm gonna go get your bags and move the car. Collin you okay to get him upstairs?"   
  
"Uh huh." He nodded as he helped Roger onto the elevator, his arms wrapped around his waist. 

When the door closed and they were alone Roger reached down and pulled up Collin's chin so he was looking at him. He saw the tears welling up in his eyes. "Hey. It's okay." Roger hugged him. "It's gonna be okay."   
  
Jennifer and Collin got Roger settled into the bed. Not long after the home nurse came and hooked an IV up again. Collin was sitting on the bed talking to him when the heard Cass come home.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the hospital with Roger." She yelled at Jason. 

He was trying to explain himself but she wouldn't let him talk. 

Silently Collin got up off the bed and walked to the door. "Mom, we brought Dad home." He told her. 

"What?" She rushed to the bedroom. 

"Hi." Roger said softly. 

"Oh my God." She gasps. At that she started crying. Roger motioned for her to come sit with him on the bed. The reality of what him sitting there actually meant hit. Hard. She broke down. Up until this point she had been holding it all together. Holding it in. Holding onto that fleeting hope he would get better. She finally let herself realize that wasn't going to happen


	109. 109

Chapter 109

In the five days that followed Roger coming home from the hospital he had gotten steadily worse. They all knew he didn't have much time left.

In the early morning hours of that Thursday something woke Collin up. He had taken to sleeping on the floor of Cass and Roger's bedroom. Patrick and Shelly were sleeping in his room. Joanie and Larry, when she bothered to sleep, were in Mark's room. Most of the time though she paced around or cleaned things. 

Mark had finally fallen asleep on the pull out in his office, but only after Jennifer crushed up the sleeping pills she bought at the drug store and put them into his orange juice. 

Jason was going back and forth between his apartment downstairs and the couch. This morning he was on the couch. Izzy had fallen asleep in the chair with his feet on the coffee table. 

Collin sat up on the floor and looked around. Cass was sound asleep. She didn't have much choice but to sleep with the pills the doctor had given her. She tried not taking them but Jennifer had threatened to force them down her throat. Collin had never seen his Aunt Jen mean business as much as she did when she told his mom that. He was glad though. He had been staying in the room with them. He knew she hadn't been sleeping. He would listen to her talk with his dad. Even when they thought he was asleep. 

That was it he realized. That's what woke him up. The quiet. It was so quiet. Even Izzy wasn't snoring in the living room. It was just peaceful and quiet in the loft. It hadn't been like that in a long time. 

Collin watched his mother. Her eyes twitched back and forth from her dreams. She was curled up right against his dad. As if almost afraid he'd disappear while she slept if she didn't hold on to him.

He looked at his dad and he knew. He just knew. The bedroom door was wide open. He softly called toward the living room. "Uncle Mark?" 

Cass heard Collin and woke up as he called for Mark a second time. "Collin shhhh." She whispered. "You'll wake up your dad."   
  
"Uncle Mark!" He called again, this time louder. 

"Collin! Hush! Don't wake up your dad!" She pulled the blanket up over him as she shivered. 

"UNCLE MARK!" Collin yelled this time. A second later Jason appeared at the door followed by Izzy. 

Cass started to cry. She knew but wouldn't let herself believe it yet. "You guys are going to wake him up." She sobbed. 

Jason came into the room and put an arm around Cass. Collin heard Patrick coming into the living room and ask what was going on. Izzy told him and then went to wake up Mark as Patrick went to find his mom. Jason stood Cass up and moved her to the couch in the living room. 

Collin just stood there looking at his dad. He could hear his mom and grandmother crying in the other room.

Izzy was standing just outside the door on his phone with Krystal. He realized Collin was still standing in the corner of the room, not moving. "I gotta go Krys. I'll call you back later." He hung up his phone and walked over to Collin. "Hey. Why don't you come out here with us?" He pulled him out into the living room, hugging him close as they sat on the barstools. 

Collin looked around the room at his family. On one hand he felt like everything had just fallen all apart. But on the other hand, everyone was there. They were all there. 

Mark was sitting on the couch holding his mom and crying. Aunt Jen had at some point come up and Uncle Jason was hugging her. Uncle Patrick was wiping his eyes as he talked into his phone to Uncle Mickey while Aunt Shelly stood next to him crying. He could hear his grandmother crying in his bedroom and his grandfather talking to her. Everyone was there and everyone was crying. He realized even Izzy was crying.

That's when it hit him that his dad was really gone.

******************

Cass was lying in bed when Collin walked up to the doorway. "Mom?"   
  
She turned to look at him. "Hey Sweetie. Come here." He walked in and around to the far side of the bed, sitting down next to her. "Did you eat?"   
  
"Uh huh. Aunt Shelly, Aunt Jen and Krystal kept making me eat all day. I think I musta had about four dinners."   
  
"They just wanted to make sure you were all right and not hungry. They probably each didn't realize two other people were doing the same thing."

"I guess." He slipped his feet under the cover. "Can I sleep in here tonight?"   
  
"Sure." She kissed his forehead. "You did a really great job today. You looked pretty good up there on stage with Izzy. I'm so used to hearing you play with Daddy, it almost sounded funny when you started to play with Izzy on bass." 

"Yeah it was weird to play with Izzy without Dad and Mattie."   
  
"Well you did a really good job. Your Dad would have been real proud of you."  
  
"Yeah he would of. Cause you sounded great." Mark said from the doorway. 

"Hey."   
  
"Hey. I couldn't sleep. Figured I'd check on you two." 

"Climb on in." She flipped back the covers letting him climb in next to her. 

"There was a lot of people there today." Collin said to no one in particular. 

"Yup. Your dad knew a lot of people." Mark told him. 

They all sat there in silence for a few minutes. "I miss Dad." Collin told them. 

"I know you do. I do too."   
  
"Me too." Mark told them.

"He said we would." Collin explained in an almost child like way. "And he said that was okay."

"He told you that?"   
  
"Uh huh. We talked about it a lot." 

"I didn't know that." Cass said softly. 

"You weren't supposed to. Not till after. Dad said so."   
  
Mark had a feeling the two of them had talked about a number of things. "What else did you dad say?"   
  
"That everybody was gonna act all freaky weird after he died. Especially you two."   
  
Mark let out a little laugh. 

"And he said it was okay if you act weird but if you do it for too long I'm supposed to tell you not to become a, a…" he paused to think for a moment. "A rude, introverted, recluse in self, self…" he couldn't remember the rest. 

"Self imposed exile." Cass laughed softly. 

"Jackass." Mark laughed again. "I can't believe he remembered that."   
  
"I can't believe I remembered that." Cass told him.

"What's so funny?" Collin asked as he watched them get small grins. "And what does that mean? Dad made me write it down and memorize it but he said to make you guys explain it."   
  
"Jackass." Mark said again laughing. 

"It was something I called your dad once."   
  
"Yup . The night she met him."   
  
"You mean night when she yelled at him for being mean to you and he fell in love with her?"   
  
"I suppose." Cass grinned. "How did you know about that?" 

"Dad told me. He said you beat him up with your broken arm too."   
  
Mark laughed thinking back on all that so very long ago. "Yup. Only girl to ever beat up the great Roger Davis, so he had to marry her."   
  
Collin snuggled in close to Cass who was playing with his hair. "I miss him." He sighed. 

"I know Sweetie."   
  
"You know Collin this kind of reminds me of when your parents first met."   
  
"How?" Cass asked, looking at him worriedly.

"Tell me about it." Collin said sleepily. 

Mark put an arm protectively around Cass. He knew she was worried about Collin finding out the wrong things about what happened in the past. He also knew that Collin knew bits and pieces of the story. The good parts. Those are the parts he'd tell him. 

"Well it was an incredibly hot summer when you mom showed up in New York. I hadn't seen her in a long time, but here she was, broken arm and all. Your dad was being his usual pain in the ass self back then. Well, one thing led to another and your dad said something and your mom called him a rude, introverted, recluse in self imposed exile. Among some other choice things. She used to have a very colorful vocabulary."   
  
Collin let out a small giggle. 

"Now you got to remember, your dad and me were, well, we were broke. Big time. We had one very old, barely working air conditioner and it was really hot out. So your dad gets this bright idea to move us all into my room. He moved the A/C in there and we all slept in there. Pretty much like this." Mark smiled thinking back on it and remembering the happy times of those first weeks. "As a matter of fact, back then, this is where my room was. So it was just like this. Except this time it's you instead of your dad here."

"Wow." They laid there for a few minutes. "Dad said we'd be okay cause we were all together. We'd still miss him, but we'd be alright."   
  
"You know, I think you dad was right." Mark told him. 

"I know he was right." Cass smiled hugging Collin while holding Mark's hand. "I know he was." 

THE END

************************

Author's Note

Wow. It's hard to believe this is over. I still can't believe that _I_ wrote it! I had never really considered myself a writer before. Not in high school or college. Obviously I wrote things, and some of them I liked a lot, but nothing like this. This was a whole new experience for me. 

I had been reading fanfiction for awhile, but in the summer of 2001 I went home to Jersey to visit. I stayed for over three weeks. While I was there, the weather was incredible and I would go running a lot. Unfortunately, or I guess fortunately for me, while I had my Walkman with me, I only had one tape. Third Eye Blind. Well it was a great tape to run to. And while I was running, I could just hear Roger all over those songs. And then I got this idea for a _short_ story based on "Wounded." So I started writing it. And writing it, and writing it. All of a sudden I realized it had gotten pretty long. But also pretty good. By that point I had quit my job and was just sitting home pregnant. And sitting home writing. Why in those seven months before my Collin was born I never thought to start typing this I have no idea. But anyway, I wrote and completed it. And then decided I would put it on fanfiction.net. So two weeks after Collin was born, I started posting. 

Like I said, I never really thought of myself as a writer. But later I realized I had been putting so much thought into these characters. For instance, if you look, Cass almost never says "yeah" she usually responds with "yes" instead. It just seemed like with the education she would have had when she was younger, that would be the appropriate response from her. Collins also to some extent. I tried to show his education in his speech patters too. He's more likely to answer with "yes" while Mark and Roger are more likely to give a "yeah" or other response. I don't know why, but as I was going and realizing I was doing it, things like that became more and more important.

Like the issue of Cass being a Mary Sue. When I started this, I didn't even know what a Mary Sue was. I'd seen it mentioned before, but thought it was some kind of inside joke or something. When I found out what it was I was like "Oh my God! Cass is a Mary Sue!" So I tried really hard to move away from that stereotype. I believe I succeeded. 

But even still, when I re-read the beginning, I just about gag on the cornyness at times. But then I think, wow, I did this! And I'm damn proud of and impressed with myself. Not only for starting it, working it through and _actually _completing it, but for putting it out there for you all to read. The original thought of that was terrifying! After doing all this work, and thinking it's pretty good, what if no one reads it? What if they read it and they hate it? Well I posted it. And someone did read it, and the response I got stunned me. 

As of this writing, I'm just shy of 300 reviews. 99% of them have been completely positive. Many of you have been with me and reviewing since the beginning. That was a year and a half ago! That you guys have stuck with me for so long, and seemed to enjoy it so much still amazes me. But know, I never would have had the fortitude or the patience to do all that typing and actually post it with out you all. The reviews and emails I received from you all meant a lot to me. Thank you all for those. I cherish them.

I feel like I should have some great thing to say. This is sort of like an end to an era for me. All I can really say is again, thank you. Thank you to the people that read this. The song that inspired it. Even the people who, as of yet have never read it, but were supporting my writing of it the entire time. And especially to Jonathan Larson for writing such a moving play to begin with that it has spawned so many great fan fics from so many people. So with that I say, go write, go read and go enjoy. For as Thomas B. Collins, computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist who ran naked through the Parthenon once said within this story, "Life is to be lived, for tomorrow you could get hit by a bus!"

**__**

No day but today!

Kelby


End file.
